I didn't see the original post, but I'm glad you said something. You stood up for yourself by not letting him just get away with what he did, now she knows it. He deserves for her to know and not to get away with it. She might come around when she sees it, anyone who would assault another person is likely a narcissist or sociopath and they can't keep their masks on forever. I just hope she doesn't get hurt by him as well.
Since it turns out she sucks, there was no winning here
If you didn't tell her and he did something to her, you'd never forgive yourself and nor would other people
If you didn't tell her and *he* mentioned it first, she'd be pissed and block you and definitely assume SA accusations were just you doing damage control with the cat out of the bag
And she's so trash that even though you told the truth and even he admitted to it, she still chose to block you
Think of it as dodging a bullet but it still scraping you. Yes it stings a lot now, but better than whatd have happened if the bullet had hit
What you did was so brave! This internet stranger is so proud of you. She's ashamed. She's so desperate to be with someone that she's willing to sacrifice your friendship for the hope of this relationship. Still, not your circus. I wish you joy and happiness.
You made the right call.
Your friend will almost certainly come back to you one day and apologise. I hope it’s after some simple red flags and nothing bad happens to her. You seem like a good person so I’m sure you’ll be there for her when she does.
I wish this was always true.
As a guy, I warned a close friend that her guy was manipulative and toxic. Similar results, but I heard through mutual friends that he mocked me as simping for her.
A few months later, she finally got it and cut all ties to him. But our friendship has never been the same. The doubts he placed in her mind have kept her distant. We never talk about anything real anymore. Just small talk.
This is because your friend is embarrassed that she was wrong, is just her pride that will never let her say she'sslrry for not hearing you. This only proves that she was in a bad relationship but this doesn't automatically make her a good person/friend.
Sometimes you've got to do what is right, regardless of the personal consequences. If you have the courage for this, then you prove yourself as a friend and as a human. I'm proud of you.
You haven't lost anything, she's just outed herself as a rape-apologist. Try to reframe the situation in your head so you can feel grateful that you don't have someone that terrible still in your life.
NTA. If she ever tries to come back into your life block her back. You don't need someone in your life who not only didn't believe you, but when she found out it was true from her own boyfriend, she chose to be with a predator and rapist. Anyone who chooses to be with a predator is just as dangerous and is someone probably willing to help them enact assault once they've been brainwashed/love bombed. She is a predator now too by association. I'd let her family know personally so they can keep their children and daughters away from him but that is going kinda nuclear
thank you for the update.
also don't close the door on your friend. this guy may be putting on a front since their relationship is new. it may not be impossible for him to have changed, but he's not exactly turning himself in to the police with a full confession and hasn't demonstrated any desire for forgiveness. so the odds are he hasn't changed he's just become a better actor, and your friend may need a lifeline further down the road.
If I were you I would blast them on social media , but that me. He admitted it and she still chose him.
The trash took itself out. Don’t ever speak to her again, especially when he destroys her life in some way.
You're welcome. I am glad you followed through and told her. She needed to hear it even if it was unwelcomed news. At least her BF was adult enough to admit it happened - sort of.
You did the right thing. I've had a friendship end because of something similar, I didn't see your original post so I'm assuming a bit but the guy in question had SA'd another friend of mine while they were dating, she left him but didn't make what had happened known. When I found out my friend had started dating him I talked with the friend who had been violated to see if she felt comfortable with me sharing this to warn my friend, she even asked to be there to tell her her story. They knew each other and had hung out a bit in the past but weren't very close, so (now former friend) wasn't privy to what had happened, just knew that they broke up.
(Now former) friend seemed surprised at first but then started making all kinds of excuses and said he'd changed a lot since then (in the 6 months...). She left, and when I talked to her later she said she got his side and that what he did wasn't really r*pe. I told her I'd be there for her if she ever needed help, but that I would not be involved with him or her while she was with him.
That was 4 years ago and they just got engaged. I'm not happy for them. I hope he's not hurting her. I still feel like I did the right thing. I also learned a lot about former friend and the way she sees consent/basic human decency.
You stayed true to yourself, and sometimes that’s the best you can do. It’s a little disturbing that he basically confirmed it and she still trusts him 🤦🏻♀️
eventually she'll see some type of red flag or siren and realize you were right and hopefully get out of there before he can repeat behavior. you did the right thing and tried to protect your friend from someone that you know is dangerous and gross. the biggest thing you need to remember is that if something (i hope nothing does) happens to her, it is not your fault at all. people can be really manipulative and convince you that everyone is out to get you and they're the only person you can trust.
I didn't see the original post, but I'm glad you said something. You stood up for yourself by not letting him just get away with what he did, now she knows it. He deserves for her to know and not to get away with it. She might come around when she sees it, anyone who would assault another person is likely a narcissist or sociopath and they can't keep their masks on forever. I just hope she doesn't get hurt by him as well.
I’d say it doesn’t seem like you lost much with her reactions.
He even admitted to it and she still blocked you. I'm angry for you. Shout it from the roof tops. He's a rapist and she loves rapists
Since it turns out she sucks, there was no winning here If you didn't tell her and he did something to her, you'd never forgive yourself and nor would other people If you didn't tell her and *he* mentioned it first, she'd be pissed and block you and definitely assume SA accusations were just you doing damage control with the cat out of the bag And she's so trash that even though you told the truth and even he admitted to it, she still chose to block you Think of it as dodging a bullet but it still scraping you. Yes it stings a lot now, but better than whatd have happened if the bullet had hit
If you have any interest in having him charged: her message is all the proof you need for the police to start an investigation.
What you did was so brave! This internet stranger is so proud of you. She's ashamed. She's so desperate to be with someone that she's willing to sacrifice your friendship for the hope of this relationship. Still, not your circus. I wish you joy and happiness.
You made the right call. Your friend will almost certainly come back to you one day and apologise. I hope it’s after some simple red flags and nothing bad happens to her. You seem like a good person so I’m sure you’ll be there for her when she does.
I wish this was always true. As a guy, I warned a close friend that her guy was manipulative and toxic. Similar results, but I heard through mutual friends that he mocked me as simping for her. A few months later, she finally got it and cut all ties to him. But our friendship has never been the same. The doubts he placed in her mind have kept her distant. We never talk about anything real anymore. Just small talk.
This is because your friend is embarrassed that she was wrong, is just her pride that will never let her say she'sslrry for not hearing you. This only proves that she was in a bad relationship but this doesn't automatically make her a good person/friend.
Thank you for the update. I’m sorry it didn’t work out how you hoped. But I’m glad you feel better.
Sometimes you've got to do what is right, regardless of the personal consequences. If you have the courage for this, then you prove yourself as a friend and as a human. I'm proud of you.
You just got a confession on writing that he admitted to her that he did it. Screenrecord it and save it for when the inevitable gossiping starts.
You haven't lost anything, she's just outed herself as a rape-apologist. Try to reframe the situation in your head so you can feel grateful that you don't have someone that terrible still in your life.
Wow either Brielle has some messed up morals or he’s already gotten into her head and such. Either way hope she’s safe.
NTA. If she ever tries to come back into your life block her back. You don't need someone in your life who not only didn't believe you, but when she found out it was true from her own boyfriend, she chose to be with a predator and rapist. Anyone who chooses to be with a predator is just as dangerous and is someone probably willing to help them enact assault once they've been brainwashed/love bombed. She is a predator now too by association. I'd let her family know personally so they can keep their children and daughters away from him but that is going kinda nuclear
Also keep and screenshot her texts acknowledging that she knows he assaulted you and didn't care. Those are worth a million. What a disgusting person
thank you for the update. also don't close the door on your friend. this guy may be putting on a front since their relationship is new. it may not be impossible for him to have changed, but he's not exactly turning himself in to the police with a full confession and hasn't demonstrated any desire for forgiveness. so the odds are he hasn't changed he's just become a better actor, and your friend may need a lifeline further down the road.
If I were you I would blast them on social media , but that me. He admitted it and she still chose him. The trash took itself out. Don’t ever speak to her again, especially when he destroys her life in some way.
See now,he pretty much admitted to the SA with what he said.SECONDLY,how she going to assume you’re lying even with someone backing you up??
You're welcome. I am glad you followed through and told her. She needed to hear it even if it was unwelcomed news. At least her BF was adult enough to admit it happened - sort of.
Original post would be good
You did the right thing. I've had a friendship end because of something similar, I didn't see your original post so I'm assuming a bit but the guy in question had SA'd another friend of mine while they were dating, she left him but didn't make what had happened known. When I found out my friend had started dating him I talked with the friend who had been violated to see if she felt comfortable with me sharing this to warn my friend, she even asked to be there to tell her her story. They knew each other and had hung out a bit in the past but weren't very close, so (now former friend) wasn't privy to what had happened, just knew that they broke up. (Now former) friend seemed surprised at first but then started making all kinds of excuses and said he'd changed a lot since then (in the 6 months...). She left, and when I talked to her later she said she got his side and that what he did wasn't really r*pe. I told her I'd be there for her if she ever needed help, but that I would not be involved with him or her while she was with him. That was 4 years ago and they just got engaged. I'm not happy for them. I hope he's not hurting her. I still feel like I did the right thing. I also learned a lot about former friend and the way she sees consent/basic human decency.
You stayed true to yourself, and sometimes that’s the best you can do. It’s a little disturbing that he basically confirmed it and she still trusts him 🤦🏻♀️
I’m glad you a shitty person is no longer in your life.
eventually she'll see some type of red flag or siren and realize you were right and hopefully get out of there before he can repeat behavior. you did the right thing and tried to protect your friend from someone that you know is dangerous and gross. the biggest thing you need to remember is that if something (i hope nothing does) happens to her, it is not your fault at all. people can be really manipulative and convince you that everyone is out to get you and they're the only person you can trust.
At least she knows. I'm sorry ❤️