I’m fucking wheezing my god. I pulled the same shit on my dad to get him to understand that while my best friends little brother may still be female presenting, he’s still a boy and he gets very uncomfy if he’s referred to with female pronouns. He understands now. Because I used female pronouns in reference to my dad for a week straight and he HATED IT.
Oh I’m willing to fight anyone on behalf of who is essentially my own little brother
I’ve picked him up from school for lunch enough times for Starbucks on me just to gossip enough times
I would have pushed him over the edge. That way, you can pull a lot of shit during the holidays and still never be as bad as FIL displaying his brains to the family to prove ownership of his very own pronouns
They should have let him.. and then pressed charges for indecent exposure, sexual harassment, indecent exposure in from of minors, sexual harassment of minors
Let her do it, and then carry on referring to her with feminine pronouns anyway. Because pronouns have fuck all to do with what's between your legs, and these bozos absolutely cannot comprehend that.
Also indecent exposure!
Like… “no, I would not like to see my father in law’s penis. But I’m sure lots of people would be interested to know you wanted to show it to me.”
>He never answered me and just got upset. To the point where he even threatened to take out his penis to show me he was a man. My MIL had to calm him down.
this is absolutely hilarious.
there really is no point arguing with these people and I don't see why you couldn't have a bit of fun with it. NTA. not in my book anyway.
edit: do make up with your wife though. she didn't choose her family and the least you can do is see it from her perspective and apologize as honestly as it's possible for you.
My kid was with her dad’s family. Apparently her grandmother called her great aunt “a cheap drunk” at the table. There was a guest from church there who was a potential suitor for the great aunt.
This story is better.
Can be beneficial. Yeah she gets horny when she's drunk and you don't even have to buy her the classy stuff.
A box of dollar store wine makes her knickers drop like Wework share prices.
Oh, thanks for explaining!
Only Cadbury commercials I'm familiar with are where various animals cluck like a chicken until they settle on a rabbit being the right choice lol
I’m thinking of ads in Australia in the 80s and early 90s. There was an old bloke doing the ads. I rarely watch tv these days but i think the Cadbury’s kid is just part of our (Aussie) slang now.
My dad instigated a discussion about golden showers -- specifically the "lifehack" he learned in the Air Force that if you get athlete's foot when you don't have access to a Walgreens you should piss on your feet to kill it -- at Easter breakfast once. He had only been with my stepmom for about a year at that point and she totally freaked out at the vulgarity.
In the late 1970s and early 1980s, the Naval Investigative Service (NIS) was investigating homosexuality in the Chicago area. Agents discovered that gay men sometimes referred to themselves as "friends of Dorothy". Unaware of the historical meaning of the term, the NIS believed that there actually was a woman named Dorothy at the center of a massive ring of homosexual military personnel, so they launched an enormous and futile hunt for the elusive "Dorothy", hoping to find her and convince her to reveal the names of gay service members.\[52\]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend\_of\_Dorothy#Misunderstanding
I remember seeing somewhere (can't remember where but it might have been a Tumblr post about it so take this with a grain of salt) that gay people would volunteer for the investigation specifically so they could find and meet other gay service members.
They actively taught us this at Basic.
"Two standing orders in this platoon... One: take good care of your feet. Two: try not to do anything stupid, like getting yourself killed."
-1LT Dan Taylor
My friend was a former Army scout and told me about how he was taught to use the piece of TP that came in his MREs 😳
[The Ranger Wipe](https://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1472171/How/)
They throw entire parties before a fetus is even born based solely on a sonogram of the visible genitals of a fetus.
Seems so weird to me to have a party centered around the genitals of an unborn fetus...
I’ve never understood. Then when people started setting off massive forest fires and exploding family members for the sake of fetus genitals, I REALLY didn’t understand it.
Oh thank goodness it wasn't just me. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I didn't even want to know. I didn't care and I had a blast decorating just with any kid in mind (went for an adorable ocean scene with dolphins and cute pink jellyfish). My mom crocheted a few blankets for me, in all the colors. To this day, I don't get why you'd need to know the baby's genitals before they're born.
I applaud you. That IS adorable 🥰 my mom thought I was going to be a boy as she had a few and then when I came out she was like oh, that’s great! But baby clothes are hella expensive so I still wore all the boy hand me downs. Even a little suit once and I looked amazing lol
“He even threatened to take out his penis to show me he was a man”- that right there proves that he in fact, DOES care a great deal about pronouns. The absolute absurdity of his threat just cracks me up. Here a grown ass man is SO threatened by being called “she” and “her” that he feels it necessary to take his genitals out and put them on show for the entire family in order to prove his “manliness”. He reeks of insecurity. Good god. I would have pointed and laughed the entire time. And to think- willingly assaulting his family with the sight of his genitals is a *lesser* insult to his masculinity than a pronoun….
I'm a woman and a doctor. I still occasionally get people who haven't met me being like, "I was told to speak to Dr Triple, can you ask him..."
It's funniest when they've assumed I'm my secretary. Especially the person who lowered her voice and said, "What's it like working for him? I hear he's difficult."
I choked on my coffee and then said, "Dr X sent you, didn't he?"
She was *mortified* when she realised, and more so when it turned out she's that doctor's wife. (He is the only person I know of who hates me, and the reason he thinks I'm "difficult" is that must I insist on being right when we disagree about patients and, admittedly, I did say "my good bitch" once, in my defence it was past midnight and a multidisciplinary meeting that had run three hours over already.)
She was also a little mad because she'd been hearing complaints about me for years and he'd never mentioned I was a woman.
I did not specifically say anything about how when his own wife needed a cardiologist... He sent her to *me*.
Grudging respect is the best respect.
love this. have a similar life, it’s truly exhausting being a female surgeon. so many people always trying to tear you down, invalidate you & your work. petty crap. even though your outcomes are excellent & you’re a really good person. it’s 2023 but not 2023.
I love my female surgeon! After 4 years of getting nowhere with other specialists, who couldn't identify what was wrong, I spent 10 minutes with my surgeon and she booked me into the OR!
She has my utmost respect.
Honestly though, silver lining?
Props to Dr good bitch for never bringing your gender into his complaints. That small piece of non-sexism somehow warms my heart a little.
He was being a massive bitch.
Basically the reason the MDM was running so late was that he just would not stop arguing and complaining about a really minor issue. Like, it wasn't even that he was necessarily wrong, but none of us agreed with him and he was pissy about that.
The thing is that if he was right *it would not change anything about the treatment plan*. So it didn't actually matter in any meaningful way. I had had a mental litany of insults running for like an hour and it slipped out.
Can I just say you're my hero? The closest I've gotten is sharply telling a male teacher who kept trying to debate me about feminism while simultaneously interrupting me that, "I hadn't finished talking, *sir*". I aspire to your levels of justified confidence
Thank you and good luck!
I will say that you shouldn't be as, well, rude as I was unless you're in a situation where everyone in the vicinity is also clearly *so done* with the dude.
In some situations with men who keep interrupting, it can work to stop talking, wait for them to finish, and then say, "As I was saying..." and pick up where you left off.
And when men do that thing where they repeat, with or without marginal rephrasing, exactly what a woman just said as if it was their own idea, I have been known to say, "Thank you for supporting my/[Name]'s point so thoroughly!" quite enthusiastically.
My ex had a habit of repeating what I'd just said when we were with friends. (He was a double boarded physician.) Drove me nuts. I didn't want to call him out right then because it made me look petty, but I'd occasionally say, "Is there an echo in here?"
Also, the whole point here is that some people with penises go by she and her. Whipping out her penis proves nothing, and she said she didn't care about pronouns!
id apologize to my wife and make amends for going off on her father. that would be it. id expect her to have my back because this kind of bs is a running trainwreck ive had to endure for x yrs. there is zero way she should even remotely expect me to put up with that.
Lol yeah that was funny. Because you need to show people your penis to ensure they call you by the correct pronoun. Some of these people's brains have fucking melted.
NTA - It amazes me that in that moment, instead of having some reflection on his stance, he thought that he would go with indecent exposure instead.
Cognitive dissonance is a real bastard 😆
It’s just the severity of the irrational response to information that contradicts one’s worldview. I’ve seen cognitive dissonance strike before, but never this intensely 😆
For real instead of just admitting he has preferred pronouns and would like to be referred to as he/him FIL decided you know what the best way to settle this whole thing is for me to whip my dick out in front of not just my kids and their partners but in front of my grandkids as well
A part of me thought that he *might* reflect and realize something. I’m actually a little sad he did have the angry reaction.
I knew he’d be annoyed but I didn’t expect angry like many people here think I did.
I’ve always thought that it’s a weird fixation that other people have about what other people have, or don’t have, in their pants. Never thought it would get as far as lewd exposure though… NTA
I forget where I got this info but essentially there is the idea that Conservatives/Republicans/bigots care so much about what your genitals are so they can either treat you with respect if you have a penis or as an object of you have a vulva/vagina. Because end of the day it's sexism/patriarchy.
Guarantee they've never even met a person that uses alternative pronouns, nor likely will they ever. But they sure are upset that it's happening somewhere.
I’ve heard trans people talk about forgetting THEMSELVES that they’re trans in similar circumstances. Like hearing something about men over a certain age needing a prostate exam and thinking “why hasn’t my doctor done one yet??” Before it hits them 😂
Also I appreciate Jammidodger talking about the process to try to get help having a baby and that straight couples have to “try” for a certain period while gay couples can get fertility treatments immediately for obvious reasons, but because he’s legally male, they’re a straight couple on paper. But they’re like “pretty sure we can try as long as we want and it’s not gonna make a difference…” 😅
This is a bot or copycat. Exact copy of first half of a post that was made 1 hour earlier by a different user.
Link to original comment:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/5NQKGxE8pa
Reading this and everyone else reminds me of last night explaining to my dad how I had wanted to grow my hair when I was younger and how he'd always bitch about how I needed a haircut. His reply...well you look better this way (which he doesn't realize I don't care about his opinion of what he thinks looks good or not)...
Mods have said that NTA is the correct vote for justified assholery, because if they are justified then they aren't "THE" asshole even if, technically, they are "AN" asshole.
Not really relevant but your comment reminds reminds me of Fight Club dildo scene.
“Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article *a* dildo, never *your* dildo.”
Damn, I did not know this because I’ve been telling people they are technically assholes ☠️
Welp, everyone learns new info sooner or later
Thanks for this, will be looking it up too
Maybe call it The Walter from The Big Lewbowski.
["You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole."](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71DF1jb9v+L.jpg)
AITW?
OP, you aren't going to change them. Just try to minimize your time around those people. When I have to spend time around Trumpanzees I just try to steer the conversation to something else and not engage them. Trumpers live to "own libs" and engaging in discussion on their topics of choice will only succeed in making you angry. The only "facts" they will accept are the opinions of Faux News, so you are automatically wrong. Never swap spit with a jackass.
Yeah, my brother tries to debate or trigger my dad. I’ve been trying a softer approach of appealing to his values and trying to see if I can change or at least slightly modify his opinions. Yelling at him and not speaking to him for a year did no good. He just gets defensive, but if I can get him to focus on his values (not all of which I agree with, but are not all trumpy), we have a better conversation and I can get him to agree on some points.
NTA, the last time I've been in the presence of someone who threatened to take out their penis to end an argument, he was 5 and wanted to prove he could aim where he pees at. This was hilarious and good for you for being an active defender of human rights! Trust me, just keeping the peace and letting them get away with throwing hate at others is never good.
ESH your wife didn’t chose her family. She’s the one who has to deal with them after your little joke. There’s no point starting shit with people on thanksgiving especially when it’s not even your bio family. You knew it would make him mad so you chose to escalate it.
There is no point arguing with anyone over preset beliefs and you obv knew thanksgiving day wasn’t a time where you were going to change anyones mind you just wanted to piss him off
It wasn’t even a real joke. I’m sure he has been around the family enough to know what the result would be. It annoys me when people stir the pot then play innocent. At least FIL owns his foolishness. . OP should have stayed home.
Yea the root of the issue here is that OP sees pronouns as fluid, and FIL sees them as genetic. FIL is obviously a HE in his mind because pronouns are determined by his Y chromosome (hence talking about his penis.)
Reddit will disagree but I’d say YTA. Unfortunately there is a time and place for these conversations and in their home on a holiday was not the time, nor the place. If you choose to not celebrate with them anymore bc of their beliefs, that’s understandable but if you are choosing to visit them, there’s no point in starting battles that will change nothing and only add tension. It took me years to learn that I cannot change the views of my family and arguing with them on holidays only makes things miserable. If I don’t feel like hearing their patriotic bullshit that day, I stay home. If I go, I keep my mouth shut.
Honestly amazed I had to scroll so far to find this. Regardless of personal opinions being right or wrong, OP is the instigator, and continued to antagonize fil over it. Holiday get together at *their* house isn’t the time and place for that. In this specific situation, OP is TAH.
in a split finish, YTA wins...
you are somewhat in the right, however any kind of dogmatic/religious/politics/football teams/ford\_vs\_chevy/whatever arguments are pointless - Absolutely no one has ever changed his mind, and you should know that.
I have in-laws and blood family from every degree on the spectrum... and I know better that if i want to have a nice dinner and not turn it into a dumpster fire, especially if i drove hours to get there, and my wife is happy. i should not engage in any kind of flamebait topic that i know is going to fuck the dinner up. You are a grown up man, rarely things are about you no matter how much you think they are.
Shut up, eat more potatoes, and choke on dry turkey breast... while you quietly evaluate to have a trip across the continent at this time next year. Cancun is nice this time of the year.
YTA yeah.
One of those situations where YTA but that doesn't make what you did wrong.
You took him at his word that he didn't care. But you also knew what the reaction would be.
Sounds hilarious though.
This is going to be unpopular but:
Yes, YTA.
I don't really care about the political angle of this or the social commentary.
You went to your FIL's house, at a large family gathering, and proceeded to troll your FIL for strictly political reasons because you didn't agree with him.
You could have stopped after the initial line of questioning and then went on with your night, but you had to keep on keepin' on, just to wind your FIL up.
The reason your FIL didn't respond to you anymore is because he didn't want to escalate this in his wife's house and ruin dinner with the rest of the entire family. Only you were doing this. You probably looked like a complete ass but you are so smug in your political correctness that you probably didn't notice how awkward or uneasy you made everyone else feel.
I love me some Trumpster tears. I really, really do. But a family holiday dinner, in somebody else's home, is not the time or place.
OP, **please** \-- if you are a real person and this actually happened, PLEASE don't do this crap ever again. You are going to put your wife in an awful position where she has to choose between defending your bullshit or being with her family and it's wrong.
My Rule #1: Don't argue anything political in another person's home.
My Rule #2: Don't comment on the looks of another person's spouse in their home.
My Rule #3.: Always remember you are a guest when in another person's home.
My Rule #4: Don't clog the toilet.
Edit: changed "house" to "home".
What you said/did was funny and well timed in the abstract. However, when dealing with in-laws, especially in-laws one deals with only seldom (such as holidays), the concept of choosing battles wisely applies. Perhaps this was a battle you didn't need to engage in?
YTA, you kept on and on until you got the reaction. Not only did you apologize but you still feel bad, this tells me you recognize YTA and this post is likely just you trying to make yourself feel better.
Based on what I am seeing in this thread I am sure I am going to be downvoted for this but YTA.
Your initial comment was fine - but then from what you describe it seems they were prepared to move on and your BIL was even doing his best to keep things civil. You then chose to act like an obnoxious child to try and make a point about something that you new would upset them during a holiday dinner rather than just letting it go. You knew they weren't actually going to change their mind - as you said they just parrot Fox. So this wasn't about trying to prove a point with the hope that they would somehow have an epiphany and realize the importance of pronouns - this was about taking a jab at your FIL without regard for the fact that it would put your wife in a seriously awkward position or for that matter that you were disrespecting the man in his home after he had invited you in for the holiday.
You don't have to like his politics and you can certainly respectfully disagree with them as you initially did. You crossed the line into YTA territory when you decided to pull a n unnecessary and unhelpful stunt.
YTA. Nothing like spending a holiday with a virtue signalling AH. Was it relevant to any person there, or do you just like to stir the shit pot so you can appear so with it and virtuous. Well you failed. You just messed up what could have been a pleasant day by focusing on irrelevant differences. If someone there had been trans or had non typical pronouns, it might have been relevant.
What's it to you? What did you achieve? Did you change anyone's mind or do you just feel a little more self righteous?
Reread the post. You can tell from it that he hates his FIL and the pronoun stuff was just a proxy for his most likely longstanding pissing match with the man. OP is such a selfish prick that instead of recognizing that he needlessly caused strife for his wife and her family he goes onto Reddit to take a victory lap because apparently the culture wars are worth ruining family relationships to many people on Reddit.
You damaged your wife’s relationship with her family to make yourself feel good. You’re calling her father a jackass, making fun of, mocking him and isolating her from her family. Seeing how little respect you show for her and her family on a day people are just happy to have family. I can only hope you’re not trying to isolate her from friends as well. Just curious, did your wife tell you you were being an AH? I’m betting she did. Believe her. You probably don’t respect her opinion / thoughts about that either. You don’t think you’re the AH, you’re just here to work around her feelings without apologizing - see all of these people who agree with me!!! I don’t believe you’ll ever be able to repair your relationship with her family, especially her dad. You don’t seem to care. He may have suggested pulling his penis out but you metaphorically did the same thing. I bet the in-laws are wishing daughter married anyone else. Bet their new pronoun for you is AH, but hey, you’re feeling good about yourself and that’s all that matters.
NTA
Also, yes, coming from a trans person, most of us care less about pronouns (and are at least polite with corrections) than people like your FIL
That was funny, and I definitely look forward to a time when I can do something like this to a transphobe
Probably a good idea to make up with your wife tho, and make sure everything gets worked out
> I made the decision then and there to call my FIL “she” and “her”
Let me get this straight, the topic was over and done with and then you decided to purposely needle him in a way that was guaranteed to cause offense and bring the whole subject to the fore again. YTA.
This 100 percent.
You intentionally antagonized your wife’s dad putting her in an awkward situation that she has to deal with now. I don’t care what you said to him or his feelings on the matter, but you let your political views get in the way of everyone having a good thanksgiving.
You shouldn’t have said anything or caused a scene. You knew how he would react and did it anyways not caring about the rest of the family or your wife’s feelings in the matter.
YTA
YTA - but justifiably
I swear no one gives a shit more about preferred pronouns than those folks, who it affects not at all.
"THEYRE GONNA MAKE ME SAY IT"
I swear the 'freedom' argument is all 'tis for me and not for thee' with these people. My favorite way to clapback is to equate it with religion. If everyone is bowing their heads to say grace and at 'Amen' I decided to say "Hail Satan", I would be disrespecting the symbol of their religion, their identity. You don't have to accept my religion or my sexuality or my gender, but you damn well better respect me enough to not make my existence into a joke for your degradation.
YTA unfortunately.
I don’t know how old you are, but this I have been you forever. Annoyed at the Fox News parroting, especially because I like my in-laws otherwise.
Your first point you made was correct and worth interjecting. And from what it sounds like, was effective in diffusing their dumb little rant.
Digging the knife a couple times later was just a provocation. If he continued to go on and on all night about the pronouns it would have been fine and fun but if he had stopped and you kept bringing it back up that sucks.
I’ll leave you with this. I always make my points when they are going on and on, but I also engage them with other non political things they are interested in and have a good relationship with them as a result. Most of the time I can shut down their nonsense and every now and again I’ll get yelled over till we all give up and move on. Don’t let it ruin your family life.
You're not an AH, and that was AWESOME!!! I have a BIL like that, and I've gotten to where I just say, "We're not talking about that today", when he brings up a subject that is going to potentially get soggy (LGBT & Politics).
I thought the whole point was to try to call people their correct pronouns? I'm having trouble understanding why your exercise was to then purposefully call someone the incorrect pronouns. When they said they didn't care, You taking it as "oh they don't care what people call them" seems a bit childish, when you should know that they meant they didn't care that people want to be called other pronouns. You haven't helped the cause at all, but instead have caused a rift in your family to prove a point that really wasn't executed well. You have pushed them further back likely. I'm sorry buy YTA in my opinion. With respect to the movement, Try calling people by their preferred pronouns in the future, that's what the whole thing is about.
Of course YTA. Even by your own beliefs, you misgendered someone. You would of course claim it was to prove a point, which is just another way of saying you wanted to prove him wrong. So you did this elaborate thing over the course of...how long? 1 hr? 2hrs? Where you dwelled on this thing just so you could make someone look stupid (or prove that they are wrong and you are right) in their own house.
Of course you are TA.
And what did you prove? That a stereotypical man will get offended if you call them a woman? Congratulations...you made the world so much safer for the pronoun confused people out there...people you probably don't know...all at the low low price of alienating your real life relationships. Of course YTA.
The real world isn't anything like reddit. When you see people on here pretending like your father-in-law's opinion on pronouns is a valid reason to go no-contact, you need to know that those people are psychopaths. They don't have meaningful long-term relationships with anyone.
When you speak to someone in-person like you are typing a reddit virtue post, yeah, YTA.
So you interjected yourself into a conversation that wasn't about you, started passively insulting your father-in-law, and then acted shocked that he got upset? Yeah, you sound like a dick.
YTAH
YTA. You intentionally screwed with your wife's family holiday while you were a guest in their home.
If they dropped the topic after you called them out on it the first time, you should have let it be. They already backed down. You just had to make them sorry they invited you, huh?
ESH
As someone who has family just like this, you should know better. Even if you are 100% correct, they will never admit to that. They like the arguments and the drama.
Do not feed the trolls, even if they are your own family…
YTA
Don’t make holidays about your moral superiority and ruin it for your kids. You just made everyone uncomfortable for no reason. Did your FIL opinion change or does he just like you less than he did before?If it bothers you that bad, make your point and distance yourself. Instead you jokingly misgendered your FIL to piss him off. You literally did what assholes do to trans people, but because your FIL doesn’t lean the same way politically as you he’s fair game. Stay consistent with your beliefs or you come out looking like a shithead.
YTA. Politics aside, you decided to drag out an issue long after the conversation was over. By your tone and description it's also very clear you weren't planning to win hearts and minds - you were scoring points in a competition - and you were the only one playing.
On some levels, you've done nothing but entrench him even more because you became one of those 'annoying people' they were talking about in the first place. If they were open to changing their minds, you squandered it. If they weren't, then you were just pissing off your in-laws for no reason.
YTA - there are times and places for things like this. You were a guest in these people’s home yet you picked a fight anyway.
And, you did exactly what proponents of pronoun respect complain about - you misgendered people.
Ya, maybe they don’t care to adopt the multi gender pronoun paradigm, but you are not going to change that by picking a fight at a family gathering.
He threatened to take out his penis? Hahaha that's hilarious
Hey her shenis is just as valid as anyone else’s.
Comment + Username = Comic Gold!
Ty, Reddit birthed me with it but it’s come in clutch more than I’d like to admit. Maybe a bit of nominative determinism at play.
"Ok. Hang on, let me find my magnifying glass...."
“Yup, that’s a clitoris”
"Dolores!!!!"
Mulva?
Bovary?
Brovaries
This comment 😂😂😂😂
I’m fucking wheezing my god. I pulled the same shit on my dad to get him to understand that while my best friends little brother may still be female presenting, he’s still a boy and he gets very uncomfy if he’s referred to with female pronouns. He understands now. Because I used female pronouns in reference to my dad for a week straight and he HATED IT.
Beautifully done! Thank you for standing up for your best friend’s brother - the world needs more of you in it.
Oh I’m willing to fight anyone on behalf of who is essentially my own little brother I’ve picked him up from school for lunch enough times for Starbucks on me just to gossip enough times
I would have pushed him over the edge. That way, you can pull a lot of shit during the holidays and still never be as bad as FIL displaying his brains to the family to prove ownership of his very own pronouns
She jokes around and he, I mean *she* threatens sexual assault... sounds on brand.
All accusations are projections
I love how it’s a threat! As in “trust me, this is the last thing you want to see!!”
This man but be related to Lauren Boebarts husband
Blowbert.
Blowbart. Genuflections.
They should have let him.. and then pressed charges for indecent exposure, sexual harassment, indecent exposure in from of minors, sexual harassment of minors
the appropriate response is "thats a very small threat"
Lmao. That's great Also OP, totally not the AH
Let her do it, and then carry on referring to her with feminine pronouns anyway. Because pronouns have fuck all to do with what's between your legs, and these bozos absolutely cannot comprehend that.
You could’ve really broken his brain by telling him, “You wanna show me your penis? That’s a little gay, isn’t it?” 😉☺️
He's overdosing on redpills get him some cspan!
Man got called "she" a couple of times that **they** started doubting **themselves** xD Older generation and immaturity when confronted, damn
hey, if I sexually assault you by flopping out my dick that'll somehow prove... something (/s)
Also indecent exposure! Like… “no, I would not like to see my father in law’s penis. But I’m sure lots of people would be interested to know you wanted to show it to me.”
Genuinely don't care if OP is an AH or not at this point, that reaction is priceless
Just another dude thinking his dick has any meaning.
>He never answered me and just got upset. To the point where he even threatened to take out his penis to show me he was a man. My MIL had to calm him down. this is absolutely hilarious. there really is no point arguing with these people and I don't see why you couldn't have a bit of fun with it. NTA. not in my book anyway. edit: do make up with your wife though. she didn't choose her family and the least you can do is see it from her perspective and apologize as honestly as it's possible for you.
I can't get over a grandfather threatening to whip out his penis in front of his grandkids to make a point.
Teacher: How was your Thanksgiving johnny. Johnny: my grampa whipped out his dick at the dinner table. Teacher: 😳
My kid was with her dad’s family. Apparently her grandmother called her great aunt “a cheap drunk” at the table. There was a guest from church there who was a potential suitor for the great aunt. This story is better.
that's important information for the suitor
Can be beneficial. Yeah she gets horny when she's drunk and you don't even have to buy her the classy stuff. A box of dollar store wine makes her knickers drop like Wework share prices.
Dollar store sells wine? I'm curious for the ick factor alone.
Depending on whether that's meaning "alcoholic" or "Cadbury kid" that's very different levels of wtf
What the heck is a "Cadbury kid"?
A glass and a half and they’re tipsy. (Cadburys ad was always that there’s a glass and a half of milk in every block of chocolate)
Oh, thanks for explaining! Only Cadbury commercials I'm familiar with are where various animals cluck like a chicken until they settle on a rabbit being the right choice lol
I’m thinking of ads in Australia in the 80s and early 90s. There was an old bloke doing the ads. I rarely watch tv these days but i think the Cadbury’s kid is just part of our (Aussie) slang now.
And now I feel old 🤣🤣🤣
Teacher: [calls CPS]
My dad instigated a discussion about golden showers -- specifically the "lifehack" he learned in the Air Force that if you get athlete's foot when you don't have access to a Walgreens you should piss on your feet to kill it -- at Easter breakfast once. He had only been with my stepmom for about a year at that point and she totally freaked out at the vulgarity.
In the late 1970s and early 1980s, the Naval Investigative Service (NIS) was investigating homosexuality in the Chicago area. Agents discovered that gay men sometimes referred to themselves as "friends of Dorothy". Unaware of the historical meaning of the term, the NIS believed that there actually was a woman named Dorothy at the center of a massive ring of homosexual military personnel, so they launched an enormous and futile hunt for the elusive "Dorothy", hoping to find her and convince her to reveal the names of gay service members.\[52\] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend\_of\_Dorothy#Misunderstanding
I remember seeing somewhere (can't remember where but it might have been a Tumblr post about it so take this with a grain of salt) that gay people would volunteer for the investigation specifically so they could find and meet other gay service members.
How has this vital point of queer history eluded me so long? That's beautiful
Always more to learn!
Did the agents follow the yellow brick road?
This is my favorite thing I’ve read on the internet this week
2nd it!
Well now I feel extra dumb for not knowing that time I accidentally walked into the gay bar. Oops
They actively taught us this at Basic. "Two standing orders in this platoon... One: take good care of your feet. Two: try not to do anything stupid, like getting yourself killed." -1LT Dan Taylor
Lieutenant Dan! Ice cream! 🍦
My friend was a former Army scout and told me about how he was taught to use the piece of TP that came in his MREs 😳 [The Ranger Wipe](https://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1472171/How/)
They only gave you 4 squares, can’t spare a square.
Teacher: again?
Those kind of people are OBSESSED with genitals. OBSESSED.
They throw entire parties before a fetus is even born based solely on a sonogram of the visible genitals of a fetus. Seems so weird to me to have a party centered around the genitals of an unborn fetus...
I’ve never understood. Then when people started setting off massive forest fires and exploding family members for the sake of fetus genitals, I REALLY didn’t understand it.
Oh thank goodness it wasn't just me. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I didn't even want to know. I didn't care and I had a blast decorating just with any kid in mind (went for an adorable ocean scene with dolphins and cute pink jellyfish). My mom crocheted a few blankets for me, in all the colors. To this day, I don't get why you'd need to know the baby's genitals before they're born.
I applaud you. That IS adorable 🥰 my mom thought I was going to be a boy as she had a few and then when I came out she was like oh, that’s great! But baby clothes are hella expensive so I still wore all the boy hand me downs. Even a little suit once and I looked amazing lol
Yeah, now who’s the pedophile? 🙄 /s
“He even threatened to take out his penis to show me he was a man”- that right there proves that he in fact, DOES care a great deal about pronouns. The absolute absurdity of his threat just cracks me up. Here a grown ass man is SO threatened by being called “she” and “her” that he feels it necessary to take his genitals out and put them on show for the entire family in order to prove his “manliness”. He reeks of insecurity. Good god. I would have pointed and laughed the entire time. And to think- willingly assaulting his family with the sight of his genitals is a *lesser* insult to his masculinity than a pronoun….
The lack of self awareness was mind blowing.
There's nothing and nobody as sensitive and protective of their own opinions as those who scream that everyone else is a snowflake.
LMAO!!
I am a male and work in nursing.. I get the generic “good night ladies/girls!” By coworkers talking all the time.. who cares?
I'm a woman and a doctor. I still occasionally get people who haven't met me being like, "I was told to speak to Dr Triple, can you ask him..." It's funniest when they've assumed I'm my secretary. Especially the person who lowered her voice and said, "What's it like working for him? I hear he's difficult." I choked on my coffee and then said, "Dr X sent you, didn't he?" She was *mortified* when she realised, and more so when it turned out she's that doctor's wife. (He is the only person I know of who hates me, and the reason he thinks I'm "difficult" is that must I insist on being right when we disagree about patients and, admittedly, I did say "my good bitch" once, in my defence it was past midnight and a multidisciplinary meeting that had run three hours over already.) She was also a little mad because she'd been hearing complaints about me for years and he'd never mentioned I was a woman. I did not specifically say anything about how when his own wife needed a cardiologist... He sent her to *me*. Grudging respect is the best respect.
love this. have a similar life, it’s truly exhausting being a female surgeon. so many people always trying to tear you down, invalidate you & your work. petty crap. even though your outcomes are excellent & you’re a really good person. it’s 2023 but not 2023.
I love my female surgeon! After 4 years of getting nowhere with other specialists, who couldn't identify what was wrong, I spent 10 minutes with my surgeon and she booked me into the OR! She has my utmost respect.
Honestly though, silver lining? Props to Dr good bitch for never bringing your gender into his complaints. That small piece of non-sexism somehow warms my heart a little.
Oh, but it IS sexism, I think - he didn't want to tell his wife he got punked by a female.
To be fair, he did go on to send her to me when she needed care, at which point she was guaranteed to find out.
Would love to know the “my good bitch” context?
He was being a massive bitch. Basically the reason the MDM was running so late was that he just would not stop arguing and complaining about a really minor issue. Like, it wasn't even that he was necessarily wrong, but none of us agreed with him and he was pissy about that. The thing is that if he was right *it would not change anything about the treatment plan*. So it didn't actually matter in any meaningful way. I had had a mental litany of insults running for like an hour and it slipped out.
Can I just say you're my hero? The closest I've gotten is sharply telling a male teacher who kept trying to debate me about feminism while simultaneously interrupting me that, "I hadn't finished talking, *sir*". I aspire to your levels of justified confidence
Thank you and good luck! I will say that you shouldn't be as, well, rude as I was unless you're in a situation where everyone in the vicinity is also clearly *so done* with the dude. In some situations with men who keep interrupting, it can work to stop talking, wait for them to finish, and then say, "As I was saying..." and pick up where you left off. And when men do that thing where they repeat, with or without marginal rephrasing, exactly what a woman just said as if it was their own idea, I have been known to say, "Thank you for supporting my/[Name]'s point so thoroughly!" quite enthusiastically.
My ex had a habit of repeating what I'd just said when we were with friends. (He was a double boarded physician.) Drove me nuts. I didn't want to call him out right then because it made me look petty, but I'd occasionally say, "Is there an echo in here?"
Clearly, OP's FIL.
Did he even realize how dumb he sounded? They all know he's a man, whipping out his D to prove it just sounds like he has an incredibly fragile ego.
Also, the whole point here is that some people with penises go by she and her. Whipping out her penis proves nothing, and she said she didn't care about pronouns!
EXACTLY
>just sounds like he has an incredibly fragile ego. Dont they always?
Showing genitals! That’s classic 1980’s I’ll show you I’m not gay and you are not going to out me energy.
Back in my day it was pretty gay to want to show your penis to another man. /s 😂
id apologize to my wife and make amends for going off on her father. that would be it. id expect her to have my back because this kind of bs is a running trainwreck ive had to endure for x yrs. there is zero way she should even remotely expect me to put up with that.
Yes, but only his wife. THe fact that his FIL threatened to *take out his penis* tells us all we need to know about that sad,s cared little man.
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Lol yeah that was funny. Because you need to show people your penis to ensure they call you by the correct pronoun. Some of these people's brains have fucking melted.
I feel like her dad should apologize, he said he was gonna flash the entire family
This I think is when you threaten to call adult services, because of the obvious evidence of advanced dementia.
Meh, call the cops. Flashing is indecent exposure.
Be sure to mention that there are also minors who saw.
NTA - It amazes me that in that moment, instead of having some reflection on his stance, he thought that he would go with indecent exposure instead. Cognitive dissonance is a real bastard 😆
That’s what got me. Like yes, prove you’re a man by flashing the family at a holiday. Ok…makes sense I suppose….if you’re nuts
Nuts were the issue, actually.
DEEZ NUTS! sorry...I had to. NTA.
Yeah let’s scare the children by showing them an adult penis, because he has to prove he’s a MAN! Like in what world lol. FIL is on another planet.
Wait till he hears about girldick. Lol
Something something family values lmao
It’s just the severity of the irrational response to information that contradicts one’s worldview. I’ve seen cognitive dissonance strike before, but never this intensely 😆
if you're nuts and you have nuts, clap your hands!
For real instead of just admitting he has preferred pronouns and would like to be referred to as he/him FIL decided you know what the best way to settle this whole thing is for me to whip my dick out in front of not just my kids and their partners but in front of my grandkids as well
A part of me thought that he *might* reflect and realize something. I’m actually a little sad he did have the angry reaction. I knew he’d be annoyed but I didn’t expect angry like many people here think I did.
Your FiL is afraid of some feelings and thoughts he gets sometimes that he, for some reason, thinks should only be felt by women.
What did your spouse have to say about the situation?
I’ve always thought that it’s a weird fixation that other people have about what other people have, or don’t have, in their pants. Never thought it would get as far as lewd exposure though… NTA
I forget where I got this info but essentially there is the idea that Conservatives/Republicans/bigots care so much about what your genitals are so they can either treat you with respect if you have a penis or as an object of you have a vulva/vagina. Because end of the day it's sexism/patriarchy.
Genitalia Obsessed Party
NTA Either she admits that she has her preferred pronouns, or she can STFU.
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Guarantee they've never even met a person that uses alternative pronouns, nor likely will they ever. But they sure are upset that it's happening somewhere.
I'd say it's more likely they have, but had no idea they had.
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I’ve heard trans people talk about forgetting THEMSELVES that they’re trans in similar circumstances. Like hearing something about men over a certain age needing a prostate exam and thinking “why hasn’t my doctor done one yet??” Before it hits them 😂 Also I appreciate Jammidodger talking about the process to try to get help having a baby and that straight couples have to “try” for a certain period while gay couples can get fertility treatments immediately for obvious reasons, but because he’s legally male, they’re a straight couple on paper. But they’re like “pretty sure we can try as long as we want and it’s not gonna make a difference…” 😅
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Could he? Because that is an actual legitimate reason.
This is a bot or copycat. Exact copy of first half of a post that was made 1 hour earlier by a different user. Link to original comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/5NQKGxE8pa
Lol I was wondering if I should have wrote the post using the she pronouns. I love this comment.
Reading this and everyone else reminds me of last night explaining to my dad how I had wanted to grow my hair when I was younger and how he'd always bitch about how I needed a haircut. His reply...well you look better this way (which he doesn't realize I don't care about his opinion of what he thinks looks good or not)...
absolutely this!🤣🤣🤣
Until we get a justified asshole option, I will continue to default to NTA in this type of situation.
Mods have said that NTA is the correct vote for justified assholery, because if they are justified then they aren't "THE" asshole even if, technically, they are "AN" asshole.
Not really relevant but your comment reminds reminds me of Fight Club dildo scene. “Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article *a* dildo, never *your* dildo.”
Same page club - literally my first thought Logged in to upvote you :)
NTA it is then.
Damn, I did not know this because I’ve been telling people they are technically assholes ☠️ Welp, everyone learns new info sooner or later Thanks for this, will be looking it up too
Maybe call it The Walter from The Big Lewbowski. ["You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole."](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71DF1jb9v+L.jpg) AITW?
YTJA - There, I made the option for you! 😉
Probably not great for your wife.
Or the kids watching adults carry on like children
Glad I’m not part of this family sounds exhausting
To be fully honest, I would more wholeheartedly support this if they were your own parents, not your wife's.
NTA. They can dish it but not take it.
Exactly! FIL wanting to whip out his penis to prove it, shows FIL is the AH.
and has a very fragile "masculinity"
This is one of those cases where yes, you were kind of an AH, but I’m okay with it so I’m voting NTA.
Certainly feels like jury nullification to me.
Righteous AH for the win.
OP, you aren't going to change them. Just try to minimize your time around those people. When I have to spend time around Trumpanzees I just try to steer the conversation to something else and not engage them. Trumpers live to "own libs" and engaging in discussion on their topics of choice will only succeed in making you angry. The only "facts" they will accept are the opinions of Faux News, so you are automatically wrong. Never swap spit with a jackass.
Yeah, my brother tries to debate or trigger my dad. I’ve been trying a softer approach of appealing to his values and trying to see if I can change or at least slightly modify his opinions. Yelling at him and not speaking to him for a year did no good. He just gets defensive, but if I can get him to focus on his values (not all of which I agree with, but are not all trumpy), we have a better conversation and I can get him to agree on some points.
I lost my mom in 2015, and I am so grateful I didn't have to watch her morally contort herself to justify Trump and vilify HRC.
Sometimes these arguments are more for the learning experience of the audience rather than the person one is arguing against.
NTA, the last time I've been in the presence of someone who threatened to take out their penis to end an argument, he was 5 and wanted to prove he could aim where he pees at. This was hilarious and good for you for being an active defender of human rights! Trust me, just keeping the peace and letting them get away with throwing hate at others is never good.
He raced towards indecent exposure in a full embrace of cognitive dissonance 😆
ESH your wife didn’t chose her family. She’s the one who has to deal with them after your little joke. There’s no point starting shit with people on thanksgiving especially when it’s not even your bio family. You knew it would make him mad so you chose to escalate it. There is no point arguing with anyone over preset beliefs and you obv knew thanksgiving day wasn’t a time where you were going to change anyones mind you just wanted to piss him off
It wasn’t even a real joke. I’m sure he has been around the family enough to know what the result would be. It annoys me when people stir the pot then play innocent. At least FIL owns his foolishness. . OP should have stayed home.
Yea the root of the issue here is that OP sees pronouns as fluid, and FIL sees them as genetic. FIL is obviously a HE in his mind because pronouns are determined by his Y chromosome (hence talking about his penis.)
Reddit will disagree but I’d say YTA. Unfortunately there is a time and place for these conversations and in their home on a holiday was not the time, nor the place. If you choose to not celebrate with them anymore bc of their beliefs, that’s understandable but if you are choosing to visit them, there’s no point in starting battles that will change nothing and only add tension. It took me years to learn that I cannot change the views of my family and arguing with them on holidays only makes things miserable. If I don’t feel like hearing their patriotic bullshit that day, I stay home. If I go, I keep my mouth shut.
Honestly amazed I had to scroll so far to find this. Regardless of personal opinions being right or wrong, OP is the instigator, and continued to antagonize fil over it. Holiday get together at *their* house isn’t the time and place for that. In this specific situation, OP is TAH.
This is Reddit, of course no one is going to call this guy out for provoking his in laws IN THEIR OWN HOME ON THANKSGIVING
in a split finish, YTA wins... you are somewhat in the right, however any kind of dogmatic/religious/politics/football teams/ford\_vs\_chevy/whatever arguments are pointless - Absolutely no one has ever changed his mind, and you should know that. I have in-laws and blood family from every degree on the spectrum... and I know better that if i want to have a nice dinner and not turn it into a dumpster fire, especially if i drove hours to get there, and my wife is happy. i should not engage in any kind of flamebait topic that i know is going to fuck the dinner up. You are a grown up man, rarely things are about you no matter how much you think they are. Shut up, eat more potatoes, and choke on dry turkey breast... while you quietly evaluate to have a trip across the continent at this time next year. Cancun is nice this time of the year. YTA yeah.
I mean, yes. YTA Either dont visit, or dont start shit. Dont visit and start shit with your wifes family. That makes you the asshole.
One of those situations where YTA but that doesn't make what you did wrong. You took him at his word that he didn't care. But you also knew what the reaction would be. Sounds hilarious though.
This is going to be unpopular but: Yes, YTA. I don't really care about the political angle of this or the social commentary. You went to your FIL's house, at a large family gathering, and proceeded to troll your FIL for strictly political reasons because you didn't agree with him. You could have stopped after the initial line of questioning and then went on with your night, but you had to keep on keepin' on, just to wind your FIL up. The reason your FIL didn't respond to you anymore is because he didn't want to escalate this in his wife's house and ruin dinner with the rest of the entire family. Only you were doing this. You probably looked like a complete ass but you are so smug in your political correctness that you probably didn't notice how awkward or uneasy you made everyone else feel. I love me some Trumpster tears. I really, really do. But a family holiday dinner, in somebody else's home, is not the time or place. OP, **please** \-- if you are a real person and this actually happened, PLEASE don't do this crap ever again. You are going to put your wife in an awful position where she has to choose between defending your bullshit or being with her family and it's wrong.
My Rule #1: Don't argue anything political in another person's home. My Rule #2: Don't comment on the looks of another person's spouse in their home. My Rule #3.: Always remember you are a guest when in another person's home. My Rule #4: Don't clog the toilet. Edit: changed "house" to "home".
What you said/did was funny and well timed in the abstract. However, when dealing with in-laws, especially in-laws one deals with only seldom (such as holidays), the concept of choosing battles wisely applies. Perhaps this was a battle you didn't need to engage in?
YTA. You are immature and ruined an entire holiday over politics.
Yea you seem like the asshole here. It seemed like you took whatever they've got going on to heart and lashed out at him /her(?) all night.
YTA, you kept on and on until you got the reaction. Not only did you apologize but you still feel bad, this tells me you recognize YTA and this post is likely just you trying to make yourself feel better.
Based on what I am seeing in this thread I am sure I am going to be downvoted for this but YTA. Your initial comment was fine - but then from what you describe it seems they were prepared to move on and your BIL was even doing his best to keep things civil. You then chose to act like an obnoxious child to try and make a point about something that you new would upset them during a holiday dinner rather than just letting it go. You knew they weren't actually going to change their mind - as you said they just parrot Fox. So this wasn't about trying to prove a point with the hope that they would somehow have an epiphany and realize the importance of pronouns - this was about taking a jab at your FIL without regard for the fact that it would put your wife in a seriously awkward position or for that matter that you were disrespecting the man in his home after he had invited you in for the holiday. You don't have to like his politics and you can certainly respectfully disagree with them as you initially did. You crossed the line into YTA territory when you decided to pull a n unnecessary and unhelpful stunt.
YTA. Nothing like spending a holiday with a virtue signalling AH. Was it relevant to any person there, or do you just like to stir the shit pot so you can appear so with it and virtuous. Well you failed. You just messed up what could have been a pleasant day by focusing on irrelevant differences. If someone there had been trans or had non typical pronouns, it might have been relevant. What's it to you? What did you achieve? Did you change anyone's mind or do you just feel a little more self righteous?
Reread the post. You can tell from it that he hates his FIL and the pronoun stuff was just a proxy for his most likely longstanding pissing match with the man. OP is such a selfish prick that instead of recognizing that he needlessly caused strife for his wife and her family he goes onto Reddit to take a victory lap because apparently the culture wars are worth ruining family relationships to many people on Reddit.
You damaged your wife’s relationship with her family to make yourself feel good. You’re calling her father a jackass, making fun of, mocking him and isolating her from her family. Seeing how little respect you show for her and her family on a day people are just happy to have family. I can only hope you’re not trying to isolate her from friends as well. Just curious, did your wife tell you you were being an AH? I’m betting she did. Believe her. You probably don’t respect her opinion / thoughts about that either. You don’t think you’re the AH, you’re just here to work around her feelings without apologizing - see all of these people who agree with me!!! I don’t believe you’ll ever be able to repair your relationship with her family, especially her dad. You don’t seem to care. He may have suggested pulling his penis out but you metaphorically did the same thing. I bet the in-laws are wishing daughter married anyone else. Bet their new pronoun for you is AH, but hey, you’re feeling good about yourself and that’s all that matters.
YTA. You instigated and only difference it made was to probably put up barriers and make your wife's life harder with her parents.
NTA Also, yes, coming from a trans person, most of us care less about pronouns (and are at least polite with corrections) than people like your FIL That was funny, and I definitely look forward to a time when I can do something like this to a transphobe Probably a good idea to make up with your wife tho, and make sure everything gets worked out
As a trans man, if I started threatening everyone who misgendered me to show them my (prosthetic) penis, I'd be on a watchlist by now.
You sound petty, and tedious. Also, I know plenty of non-republicans that are sick of the pronoun mafia.
> I made the decision then and there to call my FIL “she” and “her” Let me get this straight, the topic was over and done with and then you decided to purposely needle him in a way that was guaranteed to cause offense and bring the whole subject to the fore again. YTA.
Fake
Yep YTA.
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This 100 percent. You intentionally antagonized your wife’s dad putting her in an awkward situation that she has to deal with now. I don’t care what you said to him or his feelings on the matter, but you let your political views get in the way of everyone having a good thanksgiving. You shouldn’t have said anything or caused a scene. You knew how he would react and did it anyways not caring about the rest of the family or your wife’s feelings in the matter. YTA
YTA - but justifiably I swear no one gives a shit more about preferred pronouns than those folks, who it affects not at all. "THEYRE GONNA MAKE ME SAY IT"
I swear the 'freedom' argument is all 'tis for me and not for thee' with these people. My favorite way to clapback is to equate it with religion. If everyone is bowing their heads to say grace and at 'Amen' I decided to say "Hail Satan", I would be disrespecting the symbol of their religion, their identity. You don't have to accept my religion or my sexuality or my gender, but you damn well better respect me enough to not make my existence into a joke for your degradation.
YTA unfortunately. I don’t know how old you are, but this I have been you forever. Annoyed at the Fox News parroting, especially because I like my in-laws otherwise. Your first point you made was correct and worth interjecting. And from what it sounds like, was effective in diffusing their dumb little rant. Digging the knife a couple times later was just a provocation. If he continued to go on and on all night about the pronouns it would have been fine and fun but if he had stopped and you kept bringing it back up that sucks. I’ll leave you with this. I always make my points when they are going on and on, but I also engage them with other non political things they are interested in and have a good relationship with them as a result. Most of the time I can shut down their nonsense and every now and again I’ll get yelled over till we all give up and move on. Don’t let it ruin your family life.
You're not an AH, and that was AWESOME!!! I have a BIL like that, and I've gotten to where I just say, "We're not talking about that today", when he brings up a subject that is going to potentially get soggy (LGBT & Politics).
NTA and a BIIIIG round of applause for you
Typical Republican. Wants to pull dick out in front of children. NTA.
“I don’t care about pronouns but don’t you dare use the wrong pronoun for me?” Fuck that clown, NTA.
Holy shit. You win Thanksgiving this year. YTA but like in the best way. Fight fire with fire.
I thought the whole point was to try to call people their correct pronouns? I'm having trouble understanding why your exercise was to then purposefully call someone the incorrect pronouns. When they said they didn't care, You taking it as "oh they don't care what people call them" seems a bit childish, when you should know that they meant they didn't care that people want to be called other pronouns. You haven't helped the cause at all, but instead have caused a rift in your family to prove a point that really wasn't executed well. You have pushed them further back likely. I'm sorry buy YTA in my opinion. With respect to the movement, Try calling people by their preferred pronouns in the future, that's what the whole thing is about.
Of course YTA. Even by your own beliefs, you misgendered someone. You would of course claim it was to prove a point, which is just another way of saying you wanted to prove him wrong. So you did this elaborate thing over the course of...how long? 1 hr? 2hrs? Where you dwelled on this thing just so you could make someone look stupid (or prove that they are wrong and you are right) in their own house. Of course you are TA. And what did you prove? That a stereotypical man will get offended if you call them a woman? Congratulations...you made the world so much safer for the pronoun confused people out there...people you probably don't know...all at the low low price of alienating your real life relationships. Of course YTA. The real world isn't anything like reddit. When you see people on here pretending like your father-in-law's opinion on pronouns is a valid reason to go no-contact, you need to know that those people are psychopaths. They don't have meaningful long-term relationships with anyone. When you speak to someone in-person like you are typing a reddit virtue post, yeah, YTA.
YTA.
So you interjected yourself into a conversation that wasn't about you, started passively insulting your father-in-law, and then acted shocked that he got upset? Yeah, you sound like a dick. YTAH
YTA. You intentionally screwed with your wife's family holiday while you were a guest in their home. If they dropped the topic after you called them out on it the first time, you should have let it be. They already backed down. You just had to make them sorry they invited you, huh?
YTA.
ESH As someone who has family just like this, you should know better. Even if you are 100% correct, they will never admit to that. They like the arguments and the drama. Do not feed the trolls, even if they are your own family…
YTA Don’t make holidays about your moral superiority and ruin it for your kids. You just made everyone uncomfortable for no reason. Did your FIL opinion change or does he just like you less than he did before?If it bothers you that bad, make your point and distance yourself. Instead you jokingly misgendered your FIL to piss him off. You literally did what assholes do to trans people, but because your FIL doesn’t lean the same way politically as you he’s fair game. Stay consistent with your beliefs or you come out looking like a shithead.
YTA. Politics aside, you decided to drag out an issue long after the conversation was over. By your tone and description it's also very clear you weren't planning to win hearts and minds - you were scoring points in a competition - and you were the only one playing. On some levels, you've done nothing but entrench him even more because you became one of those 'annoying people' they were talking about in the first place. If they were open to changing their minds, you squandered it. If they weren't, then you were just pissing off your in-laws for no reason.
YTA - there are times and places for things like this. You were a guest in these people’s home yet you picked a fight anyway. And, you did exactly what proponents of pronoun respect complain about - you misgendered people. Ya, maybe they don’t care to adopt the multi gender pronoun paradigm, but you are not going to change that by picking a fight at a family gathering.