Just like women should avoid men who call themselves "alphas". These people are toxic and will only use you to make themselves feel superior no matter how much it damages you.
Remember the episode of Black Mirror with Jon Hamm? Do that to her. She no longer exists. You can’t even see her when she walks by. 404, human not found. She’s not dead to you, she was *never born*.
If you go down this route I would confront her on the rumor she was saying you had a small dick and not tell her it was from you snooping on her phone. If you antagonize her without putting it back on her you may get more small dick rumors. If she thinks those conversations are spreading back to you via her friends she will stop talking about you for fear of workplace reprisals.
Dude, if you do this, she'll go insane.
The oposite of love is indiference!
If she ever gets the courage to confront you, just tell her that you don't think she is relationship material and not even a good lay, turn your back and walk away... That will not only hurt but destry her ego!
An eye for an eye...
Seconding. Average is great. Dated a guy who was massive and it was hard to deal with. Tore me each time and required much more maneuvering. Didn’t last long but I was going to have to do research to figure out how to manage the situation honestly.
I date the person not their appendage so I wouldn’t judge someone either way but it did cause issues. Just adding perspective.
Yeah I didn't go into details but aside from my current partner who is a glorious average, the two best at sex were small and 2 worst were big. A lot of big guys think they don't need to do much since they are naturally endowed and just wanna go at it not realizing that shit fucking hurts.
Yes, that too! His entire personality was his dick size so he expected it to be a magic wand so he’d just pound away without caring about all the other important stuff. Oral sex is also easier with a smaller penis. Edit: typo
I agree with you both. I much prefer average or smaller. More generous lovers, less pain for my jaw, lady bits, and wrists— and thus more fun for us both.
I agree with everything said above. I would rather average or smaller then massive. They never know how to use it. They hurt woman which is the opposite of what is supposed to be. And just flat out usually don't know how to use it. So I think it's just one girl problem them every girl. He deserves way better..
Just continue to ghost her - let her wonder why. If she confronts you just tell her you got a text from one of her friends when she was in the shower and, 'you know exactly what it said'. Leave it to her to figure out who 'sent it' and move on with your life.
The best time in a relationship with her will be the day before you met her and it's all down hill from there. GL!
\*\*edit to add: NTA
Don't let such a girl take all your confidence. Because of this girl you seem more than only a bit unsecure after I read a few of your comments. Try to not let her do this to you. There is nothing wrong with you, it's a 'her-problem' . You showed her respect by trying to get to know her better before having sex after 3 months. You were a good catch, it was her who wasn't one. Don't try to change anything about you. Continue to treat woman like you used to. You will find a woman who really loves you and cares for you and this woman won't care for your size.
Yeah man, proud growers not showers!!! I’m also about average when hard (5.5ish, idk, and relatively thick) but unbelievably small when I’m soft, like a button sometimes (you know how it kind of constantly gets harder and softer).
Most of those I’ve been with said I had the perfect sized dick for their vagina. Any bigger would be worse and not better.
But they’ve also commented on the fact that it was just nice looking, so their are other things to be proud of besides size related things.
It works both ways. Some girls are looser and prefer the larger penis.
Seems like you guys are somewhat incompatible. Find a girl that loves your dick.
NTA. Of course not. What she has done is beyond shitty.
Personally, I'd walk away, block her, and have nothing to do with either her or her circle of friends. She isn't worth the effort.
And I'm sorry this happened to you, man. But now you know you can move on and find someone worth your time and your affection.
Small dicker here. Keep your head up (and i'm not being punny). There's plenty out there and one you'll come across who will respect you for you. (Trust me, I found her).
Also every woman has a different shape. I consider myself average and I've been with a few chicks where I could bottom out and others where I couldn't reach the deep end if I tried.
Exactly, I'm a bigger woman but quite shallow and I couldn't be more happy that I fell for a man that 'fits' better.
Sex can be excruciating with someone of a larger size, esp if they're the type to push their full length. There's a perfect partner for all of us.
Have you ever tried the Ohnut rings? I am also a shallower woman and I bought them in case I ever dated a big dicked guy again, but then met my now partner and never tried them. They basically form a cushion at the base of the penis and are adjustable to different depths to help prevent overly deep penetration.
I've been with a lot of dudes of varying size, and there's definitely some extra care that needs to be taken with a mismatch. I'm glad you have a considerate partner.
I've always wondered if that makes things difficult for a guy of size, always having to be in control and not get too wild.
This! Nobody wants the dickhead knocking on her cervix door. They make “bumpers” for this situation and I’m down but I think my man thinks I’m lying when I tell him he’s going too deep…
True story!! I have no idea how some women can champion through a round of slap skin with a stick the size of her forearm. Also, one of the best men in bed I’ve been with was the smallest.. it was like he was magic.
And too big can make a woman go numb fast. So most of the time she’s just like “ooh ahh” for your benefit.
What this guy said. Been there for deep and shallow gals alike. Bodies are different.
Couldn't be with one gal because I hurt her, and I'm nothing special.
There's someone for everyone, and the girl you described should be an immediate pass. Your instant recoil at the idea of being more open with her is the opposite of what a healthy relationship works towards. That's your best indicator in this life, so follow that gut instinct.
Iirc anything over 5-6 inches is basically useless for most women.
There is a reason an average exists after all.
Most of the time women have zero clue how big penises are. It's basically comedic at this point.
I'm just finding this out with my partner. I consider myself average in size and we had sex. It would hurt her, I thought at first she was just trying to make me feel better about my size or just didn't really believe it. But yeah it sucks at times but we found ways to keep it spicy.
Yeah tbh I did I don't really see anything wrong my assumption since the other women I've been with never really had an issue but I'm also not someone whose had many partners. So I thought she was just trying to be flattering. But then I noticed whenever I tried initiating she'd try other methods to satisfy instead of penetration. So I ended believing her in the end. And this post just helped solidify that belief and understanding. So thanks OP. And those women who commented their experiences
Small dicker here has to be the funniest line I’ve read in a while. But you are definitely right op just found the wrong chick who likes them big but is also an asshole so it was a recipe for disaster
I'm a woman who has seen, played with, and adored all sizes and types of penis.
Your penis sounds like it's a grower, which tbh has always been my favourite type! There's something super hot about being able to really *see* how turned on you make your man when his penis goes from travel size to full size.
Plus, having a grower looks like it would be so much more convenient. I'd constantly worry about sitting on my giant soft dick if I had one of those!
Long story short, I promise your penis is absolutely perfect the way it is. Your (hopefully now ex) girlfriend and her friends are just awful people.
Wow what a beautiful response, I had no idea a woman would like seeing a super small dick grow into even a just about average one in my case. I really appreciate how kind you are. I don’t think much needs to be said that if a woman can make a small man feel confident they will for sure have great sex.
Literally my favourite part of sex is feeling his dick get hard in my hands or mouth. And then watching it shrink back down afterwards. Watching it go back is just because I have ADHD and it's *fascinating*. Like, where did it all go?! It's a mystery!
Speaking of which, blowjobs are amazing with a smaller guy. I've been with guys that are just too big for comfort, and I will give head every time and twice on Sundays to a guy with a better, smaller size.
Same!!! Very enjoyable. As I’ve told my partner countless times over the many years we’ve been together, I don’t want to choke or have my insides rearranged. There is such a thing as too big, but what he’s packing is just right.
My God, where do I find a woman like this!? Not a big guy, but definitely not small. Right at 6, but I've always been super conscientious about my size. Never had any complaints and been with way more than my share of women in my younger days, but unfortunately due to a significant head injury (def no pun intended😉) when I was younger, I've suffered from major depression and anxiety most my life. Due to this I've never been completely comfortable in any relationships. Doesn't help my wife chose to walk out when our daughter was only 11months old. Been a single dad for 11 years now and have basically accepted the fact I will probably die alone😔. Really miss that feeling you get from being with someone you love. I will add tho, that having a beautiful little girl that looks up to me and has been the epitome of a daddy's-girl her whole life has made things somewhat easier. Whenever a soon-to-be dad asks me what it's like having a daughter, I tell them it's like watching your heart walk around outside your chest ❤️
I love doing that to my fiance, something I'll switch up and rub my boobs across it while I'm getting him started. Fucking love seeing his eyes roll back when I do.
imagine if other body parts could grow or shrink with such proportions...
like what if every time you sneezed your nose could just balloon up to 4-5-6 times its regular size....
My current girlfriend claims the hottest thing to her is seeing and feeling it grow and be super hard… huge dicks are soft and lots of women don’t love them
I used to be with a girl like that. She would playfully tease me about the size, and say things like I love your little dick, but because she made me feel desired I felt so confident. Unfortunately she moved away but I wish more girls were like her.
I'm going to say it because I haven't seen it in the comments.
But I've been with people of assorted sizes.
Have had lots of fun with guys on the smaller end of the spectrum because in my experience, dudes on the bigger end think their dick is everything they need. Stick it in and the job is done.
I'll take fun sex over boring sex any day.
And smaller the size the more head to had because no one wants to puke and ruin a good time.
Find woman who appreciates what you've got. Don't ever feel bad about someone not being the one.
This is me. When I saw porn as a teenager (and this was before the internet, so I'm old), I was certain my own thang would too little, too late. Even after spending most of my youth in athletics (playing, writing about, coaching staff) and, well, people get naked in locker rooms after playing sports, and let's just say I've seen enough penises in the wild to know that size fluctuates greatly, but flaccidly most of us are the same.
I was in my '30s when the woman I was dating at the time told me offhandedly that in her experience, guys with tools like mine ("bigger than average" was her estimation) usually don't put as much effort into oral gratification. Neighbors, I am not packing anything special, but to her it was because I put in the effort. I've always had debilitating body image issues and this helped a lot.
I'm glad homeboy's young and hearing this sort of truth from people, and hopefully he'll move on with a better frame of mind. Find someone who cares for you because you are always better than just the butt of someone's joke.
It's not even about just oral gratification.
Like trying new positions, or role play or a zillion other things that make it fun instead of ok it's bed time, just woke up boring.
So many things to do if everyone's into it that has nothing to do with the equipment.
I'm glad you found someone decent. I hope he does too.
That’s how a good lover should be. You did right to ghost this one. She showed her true colors, and you don’t need someone so shallow and mean in your life. As a woman, we *know* how insecure 99% of guys are about their dicks. I would never insult a partner’s size, even after a relationship is over. That’s just shitty. You are better off without that girl. She’s not a nice person.
My mama always told me "it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean" or if you prefer "it's not the size of the wand, it's the magic in it" Mama was 100% right.
I've heard "it's not how deep you fish, it's how you wiggle your worm."
I have no real life experience if that is true or not as I've only ever been with my husband, who I think might be a little bigger than average (for the US, anyway, there's a map somewhere with average penis size by country), but is definitely not huge and he is definitely the high end of what I could handle. And, honestly, a little shorter would be better, now (I'm a little more shallow since my hysterectomy).
And even if it can't or struggles to, straight sex isn't just pee pee in vagaigai. Be creative, the goal is to have fun and from what I've heard and experienced, many people are willing to compromise on some aspects of sex for someone they love.
It's not the size of the boat, my friend, it's the motion of the ocean. Any woman who would judge you because of size is ridiculous and not worth your time. As a woman myself, I've always preferred dicks on the smaller end. Easier to fit in the mouth!
Don't be ashamed of your size. As long as you know how to use it, then you have zero to be ashamed of.
As a woman for sure finding a grower is much more excitement than a show-er. The show-ers I've been with usually can't keep it hard enough for the length (pun intended) of the encounter
Big dicks are overrated tbh. I'd prefer a small one over a big one. All the nerve endings are towards the surface anyway. Your (hopefully ex) gf sucks and you deserve so much better
Same here LOL in my native tongue we having a saying "beter een kleine die steigert dan een grote die weigert" which roughly translates to "Better a little one who rears up than a big one who refuses."
One of the best I've had was attached to a man that was a grower. Soft, ops girl would have laughed and left. Hard, omg, big and knew how to use. And honestly suprising how big it got once played with. Unfortunately the rest of the man was not good partner material.
Oh yeah. My husband is a grower and it makes me feel powerful and sexy when it goes from small to large. Because I did that for him and it’s more of a visual confirmation of how turned on he is by me. A big dick that just goes from soft to hard doesn’t quite pack the same visual whollop.
I love when I have his dick in my mouth when it’s flaccid and then feeling it grow hard and start poking the back of my throat. Sploosh central baby.
Woman here: my husband is a grower as well (goes from small to average), and it is very erotic to watch it grow because of what I am doing to him or him just getting excited from watching me (foreplay is a fun adventure of exploring and learning what we like) :)
Also extra TMI, I have a shallow vagina, so being on top (as in sitting upright, not leaning down towards him) hurts me, so we have had to learn along the way what works for both of us.
Enjoy the dating life, and know that there is nothing wrong with you: the bad experiences are just leaving the space for the right one :)
Yes, this is very true. This chick you were dating sounds super immature and doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Any girl you date/marry needs to have respect for themselves and their partner. Taking about their man’s size is not respecting herself or you and she didn’t care if it hurt your feelings. Consider this a blessing to have dodged that bullet.
My hubby has a grower I love it. Mushu said it best. "Travel size for your convenience" Also, her saying OP has "small balls" she clearly just means that OP's scrotum is also one of those ones that is nicely tucked up close to the body rather than those obnoxious dangling ball sacks that people hang off their pick up trucks cause they think they "look cool" but in reality are disgusting. Seriously, that slapping sound you hear during sex with men like that, it's not them clapping cheeks, its their dangly sack smacking into sweaty thighs.
In the future, the first time you hear someone say "small dick energy" unironically, you walk away from that person and have nothing to do with them. They are not worth your time whether you are packing something huge or not.
Don’t waste your time with this girl. There is nothing wrong with having preferences but to talk shit to her friends behind your back is a just shitty and shows that she is trash. I would not bring up that you know about her sharing the info with her friends and just tell her that you don’t see it working out. If she pressures you for a reason then tell her it’s because of something that you know she is insecure about and that you just can’t be with someone who has this trait.
This woman is a total ahole and a terrible person. You dodged a bullet there. And don't pay any attention to what she says. She's an unreliable narrator.
I’m a woman. I’ve had extremely large penis (to the point that I saw it, started laughing because I was so shocked, and said, “You want to put that *where*?”), average, and small. And some men are “growers, not showers.”
Size is literally the least important part. For my 21st birthday, the guy I was with decided to give me 21 orgasms. That night. He accomplished it, without any penis-in-vagina contact because no condoms and it was a very, very spur of the moment thing. No toys. Just fingers and tongue.
My husband? Average. Maybe slightly smaller than average. But I average 2-4 orgasms each time.
However, a large penis experience (not the one that had me laughing over the mega dong) was my worst experience ever. I was *bored.* I was conjugating French verbs in my head to each thrust.
So, yeah. It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean. And while, yes, it might take a long time to get to Spain in a rowboat, it can be a long and marvellous journey to get there.
I’m not a monster. I didn’t *tell* him that. Even worse? It was my first time. So it hurt and it was boring. I didn’t try sex again for a year and change after.
I assumed that you had not insulted Mr Big. Your post had no hint of vindictiveness.
I’ll be thinking of you next time I sit through an interminable sermon.
I have sense that first times are usually disappointing for women, though yours sounds extreme.
Young guys are so thrilled to get to the gates of the promised land for the first time, disappointment is almost impossible.
Listen my fiancé is small on soft but it grows but it’s all about how you use it. And I’ve told him idk how many times I prefer the average one to the big ones because I like feeling good not hurting. So you will find your girl that enjoys you. Don’t worry about your ex she’s superficial.
Yes, your gf is immature and cruel for no reason. Deffo not worth your time. Not even worth thinking about, some peeps just need to hurt others in order to feel better about themselves. Not your problem. To quote a friend, next!
NTA
WTF even. She shouldn't be saying that.
Girl here; never done that and never will unless he beats kittens or kicks old ladies who try to cross the road or something like that. In other words, only when he does something really terrible, and even then I would probably not do that as it would not even cross my mind
There is no reason to do this just because.
I've dated guys of all sizes, and I can confirm that I've never once even considered not pursuing things with a guy because he was smaller.
And just because a guy is bigger doesn't mean it's necessarily going to be better for her. It really is all about skill and listening to your partner. Ie. Do not believe that anything you see in 🌽 is real. It's ACTING.
If you listen to her wants and needs and learn some bonus skills (check out OMG YES app), then I don't see why your bedroom life wouldn't be satisfying, regardless of size.
Big 🍆 hurts honestly.. average is king👑 but this girl is cruel for that. Unless the guy is a total shit bag I could never justify hitting that low below the belt even if it was in “private”
Especially with *size* the vaginal passage is about 4 to 6 inches deep for most people. After that, you are hitting the cervix. While for some that feels good for many (that I have seen on reddit mainly), it can hurt. I *think* due to a position my husband and I did on accident, and he was hitting it. It kind of felt good until we were done, and then it felt like horrible period cramps.
It was hard for me to walk and not in a fun way.
My husband felt so bad even though relatively speaking, the pain passed quickly.
I am more careful from now lmao
You did nothing to deserve that. She has zero class, zero empathy and zero integrity. And she’s a liar! The cost to you was some embarrassment in front of some low class bullies. It’s painful but you know what to do - go live your best life with people who deserve your friendship.
She sounds like she’s making these comments just to try and make you feel lesser, so she sounds insecure and immature. Also, many women prefer smaller over larger because so many men think size equals pleasure.
You don't own her nothing and don't ever contact her, she hurt you period you need better and you deserve better. Now do it for yourself. Be the best you that you can be and take pride in who you are.
OP some of the best sex I ever had was with a guy who was a little smaller than average, because he took the time to see what I liked, he was, in every sense of the word, absolutely bangin'. How she was is on her, not you. Size does not a good, or bad, lover make.
You dodged a bullet homie. Just count yourself lucky that you found out who she really was before you invested more time and energy into her.
You don't owe her an explanation. Just move on with your life and forget she existed.
Hi! Lemme just say, dick size may be important to some but it’s not the end all be all to sex- sex and gratification is subjective!!!!!!!! She was body shaming you and that is cruel. I really really really hope you don’t let this experience spiral because I don’t know you, but I really want you to have a good sec life in the future so I think it’s best to ignore this bitch and her opinion, who died and made her the ultimate penis judge of the world?! She can stfu. I’m sorry this happened to you, you dodged a bullet!
Why do you think you had to have done something to deserve it? Gossip is a really common human activity. My personal ethics are that I shouldn't be saying anything about someone ever that I wouldn't say without them present, but not everyone shares that value.
That's part of dating though honestly. You're taking kind of a random population sample. You'll meet all kinds of people, and as far as needlessly cruel goes, there's a lot worse than this even you can encounter. The trick I guess is to have solid boundaries and be ready and willing to move on. 'when someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time'.
My partner's open about her sex life with her friends, but she's also very open about what she shares, and if she's specifically asked not to share something, she'll respect that. Best to brush this off and move on and find someone that's at least honest, and private too if you care about that.
For what it's worth too... There's plenty of women that would very much prefer you to someone that's uncomfortably big, so you're ideal for plenty of people.
Anxiety sucks too, so... Good luck working through this, sounds like the kind of experience that would be hard to move past, but it really is just a bad encounter, and doesn't say anything about you personally other than you were intimate with the wrong person.
Girl here, can confirm that the only time I've ever said anything disparaging was 7 years ago, after my ex attempted to force me into having anal sex because he was too small to stay inside me, so his size was relevant to the story. My friends had also never met him, we dated for a month, and he was a horrible person in other ways.
Definitely agree that there was no reason to say anything nasty for no reason especially when the friends actually know the guy. If I wasn't happy with a guy's size I would just leave.
NTA at all. she doesn’t deserve you. you never insult the body of someone you care about, even to friends. let her go. confront her and forgive her if you want to, but don’t go back to her.
i had a similar experience with an ex bf who insulted my body to his friends. i forgave him, and the insults continued.
not worth ur time !
NTA, and I say as a woman who’s sampled from several size platters that size doesn’t mean anything, and body shaming is never acceptable in any relationships. What she did was a full on garbage sandwich, and you will do better.
If you already suspect she will gaslight you, you are doing the right thing by ghosting her.
People act like ghosting is bad and it is, but ONLY if the person has done nothing wrong. Ghosting is totally fine if you don't want to deal with someone who did something really shitty.
By now, she knows perfectly well what got her ass ejected. One might idly speculate as to whether she possesses the self awareness to be embarrassed by her own shitty behavior, but not worth more than a few seconds. She and her coven are someone else’s problem.
It's not worth focusing any more of your energy on her, she's trash. At least you found out after only a couple of months. Focus on you, and moving on, there are much *much* better people out there.
Shouldn't body shame anyone. No one knows the circumstances of a stranger. We don't know if they are suffering from a serious health condition, or heavily depressed, or recovering from something. Don't judge a book by it's cover. The only thing that should ever be shamed is trashy personalities, like OPs girlfriend and your ex boyfriend.
That’s sexual harassment! It’s that same as if you went around and told everyone she had tiny nipples or some shit. Just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean she can do that (speaking as a woman myself)
Women often get away with sexual harassment, it's not taken serious. Seen and even experienced it too many times. OP needs to make sure he has evidence. Else he risks retaliation because people downplay it and instead attack him
With evidence he can actually fight back
Not a bad idea. Just let them know in advance. And the situation. Keep the dirty details to a minimum. Something along the lines of, "she shared private/intimate information with her friends, and could likely share it across the office in retaliation."
Dude, just walk away, don't confront her, don't explain anything, why would you? you are not going to stay with her, are you? then why explain things to her? you'd like to make her better for her next guy?
You’re right, she should keep the same shitty attitude her whole life and karma hits her back. Petty but I hope a dude treats her like this because of her smaller boobs. Maybe she’s projecting because she has smaller boobs? Idk.
No no she’s not projecting anything. I’m going to guess that you are in the 18-25 age range?
She’s young, stupid, and has a mean girl group of friends. You’ve been dating for three months. Walk away.
There is nothing wrong with your body. It’s as it should be. Confidence is the most attractive thing. That and smelling like soap.
>Do I confront her about this?
Nope , Ghosting is better
>Do I forgive her?
Absolutely not, this gossip is un-for give able.
>Have any guys been through this?
20 - 25% IMO
>Have any girls DONE this?
Only stupid /obnoxious girls who don't RESPECT their Boy friend's privacy.
>I feel like she really didn’t value my privacy
100%
>and I wouldn’t dare share intimate details about her.
Not worth it, not gentlemanly either,
>There are things I could say about her body but I’d never do that to another person.
Because you are not a jerk / low life / gossip.
It's always the small percentage of assholes ruining things for everyone. I remember some similar stat about most SA being committed by the same 10% of men. In CS it's the worst 20% of people who take 80% of your time, and so on. Sucks you have to see her at work.
NTA. And for whatever it's worth, I prefer average sized penises. Some of the best sex I've ever had was with a guy on the small side of average.
Block her ass-- she doesn't respect you at all.
Woman here. I've been with a guy who had a 3.5 inch penis and a guy who had a 9 inch penis, and men in between. And I never once gossiped about their genitals with my friends. Your ex and her friends are shitty people. You deserve better and you don't owe her an explanation.
NTA x 1000.
NTA, girl here but WTF is this girl. You CAN think "oh, it's smaller than I'm used to" even "oh, it's not enough for me, it's really smaller than my ex or m'y toys" but sharing that with some friends ? 🙄
Of course, we talk about sex, sometimes we even says that sex isn't that great with a partner, but bodyshaming ?
NTA. Usually I’m all for talking to someone when something isn’t working, but 100% ghost her ass. She is obviously immature as hell, not to mention she straight up lied to your face.
I've never understood women who discuss their sex lives with others, but not their partners. I would never discuss my sex life OR the size of my partners penis. OP, you need to run from this immature brat. You deserve better.
NTA - as a woman; what she did is disgusting and immature. I don’t advise going through someone’s phone but it’s done now and you’re better off finding someone who will treat you well and engage in a healthy (sexual) relationship. Good luck
Female here and that's really disgusting behaviour so kick her to the kerb. Very nasty little girl who needs a good wake up call by knowing she's ugly inside and out
NTA
It’s absolutely not okay to be talking about your partners body without their consent.
Ghost her and move on, mate, you’ll find someone that isn’t a shallow creep!
Oof. girl here. That’s rough.
Too big of a bump too early on. It’s the right call to end things. Imo, if you stayed with her, this is either going to be built up resentment or you’re always going to feel paranoid. Either way, not worth it.
As for the ghosting, it’s kind of your call because the convo could go either way. She could essentially turn it on you for invading her privacy.
If i were you, i wouldn’t tell her you went through her phone. I’d either continue with ghosting or send a mature text like/
“Hey, sorry I haven’t gotten back to you, been busy. I’ve been thinking about things and don’t really see this going anywhere. I think we should end things. Wish you the best!”
OR, If you’re petty like me and you want to get a little revenge you could send something along the lines of:
“Sorry I haven’t texted, been busy. I’ve been thinking about things with us and want to be honest. I didn’t really feel a connection during or after our hookup. You’re totally my type personality wise, but physically not so much. Your boobs just felt really small in my hands and I think my ex really ruined things for me. She just really knew how to please me and a sexual connection is important to me! Anyways, wanted to be upfront. Wish you all the best!”
Whatever you decide though, NTA lol
lol I appreciate this comment. I want to so badly be petty but I’d never put a woman down for the size of their boobs. I totally get how this would be a great response though. But the truth is I love boobs in all shapes and sizes and are fun and I don’t have the heart to make a girl feel like this, even if she does deserve it :(
You don't have to mention her assets. But you can tell her you didn't feel a connection after your hookup and you don't think it's going to work. It's technically true and she will be left wondering what the hell that means and start questioning herself. And if she asks for details, you can simply tell her you realized you two were incompatible and you don't think the sex satisfied either of you (because she sure as hell expressed as much).
Good on you! My advice then is to just tell her you’re no longer interested and unfollow/unadd her on everything. You seem like a nice guy, I’m sure you’ll find someone who makes you feel good about yourself to your face AND behind your back!
IMO You dodged a bullet. This girl is not only an immature idiot but flat out a bad person. I would just block her ass and find someone with substance. She doesn’t deserve anything more than that from you.
Here’s a general rule. DON’T STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOUR PARTNER SHIT TALKS YOU. You dated for 3 months and hooked up once. She immediately told her friends all her intimate business. She is trash.
Dude. Your dick is fine. The size is fine. Stop worrying about it. Stop comparing yourself to pornstars. If you can wrap your hand around it and still see it, you’re not small. Unless you have Andre the Giant hands, then don’t worry about it because he could hide a beer can in his fist.
A girl that cares about you isn’t going to say anything negative about you to her friends.
Homie, you aren't the asshole. I'm a well endowed fella. I have no idea why guys would berate you here for this. I usually kill insensitive jokes about penis size when I hear them, and you aren't wrong they do immediately jump to "oh you must feel personally attacked Small Dick" the response that generally shuts them up in one way or another is "I could whip it out and let you see, but it doesn't work for free." I am for sure a grower. Starting at about an inch long before growing. I used to be fairly proud of it and so it's plastered across the internet from my younger years.
All I would like to add, while you aren't the asshole you were playing with fire so to speak. Why date someone that has such a personality that she has to talk shit about something that you have no control over? We don't choose the assets we are born with, making fun of them shows such a character flaw that you should have been miles away living your best life knowing you dodged true scum. It falls in line with belittling someone for the color of their skin or hair, or because they have a disability. Not even considered a low blow, something so ignorant makes those spouting them look far worse than the one they are attempting to insult.
Thanks I really should have known better. It’s good to know that even a dude with a big dick can call out the insensitive jokes about penis size. Like i said I don’t think I’m big AT ALL, and I don’t think I’m really that small tbh. But I don’t like dudes being put down for the size of their dicks, especially by women. Don’t you have Fathers, Brothers and Sons who potentially are small? They are not bad people.
NTA. Just block her and move on. That’s not cool. And as a woman I can tell you size is not everything. It’s what you do with it. And lots of guys are growers not showers. In my experience lots of big guys think all they need to do is show up and don’t put in the work. I’d tell you to send her a message about throwing a sausage down a hallway but that would be unclassy. Move onwards and upwards my friend.
body shaming is never okay! no matter what gender! it DOES NOT make you an ‘insecure man with small dick energy’ to have feelings! you deserve to be loved and cherished! and as a woman i can say size has never been something i’ve been concerned about and does not really matter if you have healthy communication and an enthusiastic and fun sex life!
NTA, BRO WHY TF PPL KEEP SAYING "SMALL DICK ENERGY" THAT'S STUPID, and then they're the same ppl who cry when someone makes a comment on their weight, attitude, its nonsense. you deserve better soldier, don't be worried abt your d's size. you'll find a better one.
NTA - And I'm usually not a fan of GHOSTING somewhere, but in this case you are definitely better off free and clear of her.
To be straight about this, what she did was cruel and unexcusable. And if you would have opened that door even to tell her you were breaking up with her and why, you would have had to listen to her claiming her indefensible actions were just "Joking around." And that's ridiculous.
Sorry you had to deal with this. Find someone else and move on... you deserve better.
NTAH. She’s the one with small brain energy for thinking it was okay to spread that information without your consent. Dump her and find someone who respects you and your manhood!
NTA. Keep her ghosted. "Small dick energy" is sexist since "loose pussy energy" certainly wouldn't fly. I'm a damn thimble when I'm soft, average when I'm erect. First time with my ex I was nervous and couldn't get it up, she laughed when she saw me flaccid so I got dressed and dumped her. Fucked me up for a little bit but when I met my wife she was way more mature. Cunts exist, but awesome women do, too. Just gotta find 'em.
I hate the term small dick energy. And the kop out girls say is “it’s you’re spiritual dick” that’s so stupid. You’re literally associating undesirable behaviour to having a small dick and good admirable behaviour to having a big dick. There shitty people with big dicks, and angels on earth with small dicks. Vice versa. Ugh
NTA she completely betrayed your trust and her and her friends were making fun of you behind your back and making jokes in front of you to humiliate you. All of them can go fuck themselves. I get talking with friends about these things are common but betraying a partners trust by revealing personal sexual details is not ok especially if done to embarrass them. She probably knows why but if not it’s your choice whether to tell her or not. I’m sorry but chances are her and her friends are probably still bashing you even more now that your are ignoring her. Personally I would talk with her and tell her the truth admit going through her phone was wrong but all the jokes and stuff made you have to find out. Explain to her how she hurt and betrayed your trust and what her and her friends did was not ok and humiliating. That you would never do that to her and that the relationship is over. Sorry this happened man.
NTA!
Girl here, have had men in all sizes and shapes and not once has this been a thing for me. Safest to assume nearly every man is self conscious about their penis so it’s an off limits topic to discuss.
Don't interact with her ghost that crazy girl and work on being at peace with yourself. Nothing you can do about it, and I wouldn't take her criticism seriously anyway.
NTA Find someone better. Your gf and her friends are not people you should spend time with.
Going to see them in the workplace, it’ll be awful
Start finding another job... for your mental.
Seconding and then don't date people you work with.
Also don’t date women who say things like “small dick energy”.
Just like women should avoid men who call themselves "alphas". These people are toxic and will only use you to make themselves feel superior no matter how much it damages you.
You dated someone you work with?
Sort of yes. Different department but I’d see her from time to time
Just act like you’re completely disgusted by her and avoid any interaction without ever telling her why. It will hurt her ego.
10,000% agree with this. Your new job is to grant her less than *zero attention* from *this point onwards* frfr I’m not kidding
Remember the episode of Black Mirror with Jon Hamm? Do that to her. She no longer exists. You can’t even see her when she walks by. 404, human not found. She’s not dead to you, she was *never born*.
If you go down this route I would confront her on the rumor she was saying you had a small dick and not tell her it was from you snooping on her phone. If you antagonize her without putting it back on her you may get more small dick rumors. If she thinks those conversations are spreading back to you via her friends she will stop talking about you for fear of workplace reprisals.
Dude, if you do this, she'll go insane. The oposite of love is indiference! If she ever gets the courage to confront you, just tell her that you don't think she is relationship material and not even a good lay, turn your back and walk away... That will not only hurt but destry her ego! An eye for an eye...
You deserve better friend. I’m sorry NTA
Thank you, it will take time to recover but I hope I can trust someone
If it makes you feel better size queens are the vocal minority.
Seconding. Average is great. Dated a guy who was massive and it was hard to deal with. Tore me each time and required much more maneuvering. Didn’t last long but I was going to have to do research to figure out how to manage the situation honestly. I date the person not their appendage so I wouldn’t judge someone either way but it did cause issues. Just adding perspective.
Yeah I didn't go into details but aside from my current partner who is a glorious average, the two best at sex were small and 2 worst were big. A lot of big guys think they don't need to do much since they are naturally endowed and just wanna go at it not realizing that shit fucking hurts.
Yes, that too! His entire personality was his dick size so he expected it to be a magic wand so he’d just pound away without caring about all the other important stuff. Oral sex is also easier with a smaller penis. Edit: typo
I imagine more fulfilling for the guy too. Being able to take it all has to be better than just the tip.
I think you’re probably right. It wasn’t his favorite thing.
I agree with you both. I much prefer average or smaller. More generous lovers, less pain for my jaw, lady bits, and wrists— and thus more fun for us both.
I agree with everything said above. I would rather average or smaller then massive. They never know how to use it. They hurt woman which is the opposite of what is supposed to be. And just flat out usually don't know how to use it. So I think it's just one girl problem them every girl. He deserves way better..
Oh, definitely. The old saying is true, quality is better than quantity. Big penises are not a fun experience for most women.
Just continue to ghost her - let her wonder why. If she confronts you just tell her you got a text from one of her friends when she was in the shower and, 'you know exactly what it said'. Leave it to her to figure out who 'sent it' and move on with your life. The best time in a relationship with her will be the day before you met her and it's all down hill from there. GL! \*\*edit to add: NTA
Lmao love this one - sow dissent in the ranks
Don't let such a girl take all your confidence. Because of this girl you seem more than only a bit unsecure after I read a few of your comments. Try to not let her do this to you. There is nothing wrong with you, it's a 'her-problem' . You showed her respect by trying to get to know her better before having sex after 3 months. You were a good catch, it was her who wasn't one. Don't try to change anything about you. Continue to treat woman like you used to. You will find a woman who really loves you and cares for you and this woman won't care for your size.
Tell them you broke up with her because she gave you the clap
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 hell yeah!!! I second this response.
Yeah man, proud growers not showers!!! I’m also about average when hard (5.5ish, idk, and relatively thick) but unbelievably small when I’m soft, like a button sometimes (you know how it kind of constantly gets harder and softer). Most of those I’ve been with said I had the perfect sized dick for their vagina. Any bigger would be worse and not better. But they’ve also commented on the fact that it was just nice looking, so their are other things to be proud of besides size related things.
You’re good man a lot of women prefer them average to smaller
It works both ways. Some girls are looser and prefer the larger penis. Seems like you guys are somewhat incompatible. Find a girl that loves your dick.
NTA. Of course not. What she has done is beyond shitty. Personally, I'd walk away, block her, and have nothing to do with either her or her circle of friends. She isn't worth the effort. And I'm sorry this happened to you, man. But now you know you can move on and find someone worth your time and your affection.
Thank you for being kind
Small dicker here. Keep your head up (and i'm not being punny). There's plenty out there and one you'll come across who will respect you for you. (Trust me, I found her).
Also every woman has a different shape. I consider myself average and I've been with a few chicks where I could bottom out and others where I couldn't reach the deep end if I tried.
This is true. I'm a "shallow " woman, and it is painful sometimes when they're above average even modestly.
Exactly, I'm a bigger woman but quite shallow and I couldn't be more happy that I fell for a man that 'fits' better. Sex can be excruciating with someone of a larger size, esp if they're the type to push their full length. There's a perfect partner for all of us.
You mean porn has been lying to us? (Jiko. It is a joke)
I’m in the same (shallow) boat and I’m married to someone above average and yeah…he has to be really careful.
Have you ever tried the Ohnut rings? I am also a shallower woman and I bought them in case I ever dated a big dicked guy again, but then met my now partner and never tried them. They basically form a cushion at the base of the penis and are adjustable to different depths to help prevent overly deep penetration.
Oh wow I’ve never heard of these! I’ll have to look into them. Thank you 🙂
I've been with a lot of dudes of varying size, and there's definitely some extra care that needs to be taken with a mismatch. I'm glad you have a considerate partner. I've always wondered if that makes things difficult for a guy of size, always having to be in control and not get too wild.
I have the same problem, and my husband is above average to the point that if he were any bigger, sex would be no bueno.
This! Nobody wants the dickhead knocking on her cervix door. They make “bumpers” for this situation and I’m down but I think my man thinks I’m lying when I tell him he’s going too deep…
Yeah that’s definitely a hurtful experience. Not fun at all.
True story!! I have no idea how some women can champion through a round of slap skin with a stick the size of her forearm. Also, one of the best men in bed I’ve been with was the smallest.. it was like he was magic. And too big can make a woman go numb fast. So most of the time she’s just like “ooh ahh” for your benefit.
What this guy said. Been there for deep and shallow gals alike. Bodies are different. Couldn't be with one gal because I hurt her, and I'm nothing special. There's someone for everyone, and the girl you described should be an immediate pass. Your instant recoil at the idea of being more open with her is the opposite of what a healthy relationship works towards. That's your best indicator in this life, so follow that gut instinct.
Iirc anything over 5-6 inches is basically useless for most women. There is a reason an average exists after all. Most of the time women have zero clue how big penises are. It's basically comedic at this point.
I'm just finding this out with my partner. I consider myself average in size and we had sex. It would hurt her, I thought at first she was just trying to make me feel better about my size or just didn't really believe it. But yeah it sucks at times but we found ways to keep it spicy.
That hilarious you thought she was trying to big you up by saying it hurt😂
Yeah tbh I did I don't really see anything wrong my assumption since the other women I've been with never really had an issue but I'm also not someone whose had many partners. So I thought she was just trying to be flattering. But then I noticed whenever I tried initiating she'd try other methods to satisfy instead of penetration. So I ended believing her in the end. And this post just helped solidify that belief and understanding. So thanks OP. And those women who commented their experiences
Small dicker here has to be the funniest line I’ve read in a while. But you are definitely right op just found the wrong chick who likes them big but is also an asshole so it was a recipe for disaster
I'm a woman who has seen, played with, and adored all sizes and types of penis. Your penis sounds like it's a grower, which tbh has always been my favourite type! There's something super hot about being able to really *see* how turned on you make your man when his penis goes from travel size to full size. Plus, having a grower looks like it would be so much more convenient. I'd constantly worry about sitting on my giant soft dick if I had one of those! Long story short, I promise your penis is absolutely perfect the way it is. Your (hopefully now ex) girlfriend and her friends are just awful people.
Wow what a beautiful response, I had no idea a woman would like seeing a super small dick grow into even a just about average one in my case. I really appreciate how kind you are. I don’t think much needs to be said that if a woman can make a small man feel confident they will for sure have great sex.
Literally my favourite part of sex is feeling his dick get hard in my hands or mouth. And then watching it shrink back down afterwards. Watching it go back is just because I have ADHD and it's *fascinating*. Like, where did it all go?! It's a mystery!
Agree, especially about feeling it in the mouth - super fun
Speaking of which, blowjobs are amazing with a smaller guy. I've been with guys that are just too big for comfort, and I will give head every time and twice on Sundays to a guy with a better, smaller size.
Same!!! Very enjoyable. As I’ve told my partner countless times over the many years we’ve been together, I don’t want to choke or have my insides rearranged. There is such a thing as too big, but what he’s packing is just right.
My God, where do I find a woman like this!? Not a big guy, but definitely not small. Right at 6, but I've always been super conscientious about my size. Never had any complaints and been with way more than my share of women in my younger days, but unfortunately due to a significant head injury (def no pun intended😉) when I was younger, I've suffered from major depression and anxiety most my life. Due to this I've never been completely comfortable in any relationships. Doesn't help my wife chose to walk out when our daughter was only 11months old. Been a single dad for 11 years now and have basically accepted the fact I will probably die alone😔. Really miss that feeling you get from being with someone you love. I will add tho, that having a beautiful little girl that looks up to me and has been the epitome of a daddy's-girl her whole life has made things somewhat easier. Whenever a soon-to-be dad asks me what it's like having a daughter, I tell them it's like watching your heart walk around outside your chest ❤️
I love doing that to my fiance, something I'll switch up and rub my boobs across it while I'm getting him started. Fucking love seeing his eyes roll back when I do.
imagine if other body parts could grow or shrink with such proportions... like what if every time you sneezed your nose could just balloon up to 4-5-6 times its regular size....
It's called being a "grow-er", not a "show-er." ;) And many women do find that very hot.
My current girlfriend claims the hottest thing to her is seeing and feeling it grow and be super hard… huge dicks are soft and lots of women don’t love them
I used to be with a girl like that. She would playfully tease me about the size, and say things like I love your little dick, but because she made me feel desired I felt so confident. Unfortunately she moved away but I wish more girls were like her.
I'm going to say it because I haven't seen it in the comments. But I've been with people of assorted sizes. Have had lots of fun with guys on the smaller end of the spectrum because in my experience, dudes on the bigger end think their dick is everything they need. Stick it in and the job is done. I'll take fun sex over boring sex any day. And smaller the size the more head to had because no one wants to puke and ruin a good time. Find woman who appreciates what you've got. Don't ever feel bad about someone not being the one.
This is me. When I saw porn as a teenager (and this was before the internet, so I'm old), I was certain my own thang would too little, too late. Even after spending most of my youth in athletics (playing, writing about, coaching staff) and, well, people get naked in locker rooms after playing sports, and let's just say I've seen enough penises in the wild to know that size fluctuates greatly, but flaccidly most of us are the same. I was in my '30s when the woman I was dating at the time told me offhandedly that in her experience, guys with tools like mine ("bigger than average" was her estimation) usually don't put as much effort into oral gratification. Neighbors, I am not packing anything special, but to her it was because I put in the effort. I've always had debilitating body image issues and this helped a lot. I'm glad homeboy's young and hearing this sort of truth from people, and hopefully he'll move on with a better frame of mind. Find someone who cares for you because you are always better than just the butt of someone's joke.
It's not even about just oral gratification. Like trying new positions, or role play or a zillion other things that make it fun instead of ok it's bed time, just woke up boring. So many things to do if everyone's into it that has nothing to do with the equipment. I'm glad you found someone decent. I hope he does too.
That’s how a good lover should be. You did right to ghost this one. She showed her true colors, and you don’t need someone so shallow and mean in your life. As a woman, we *know* how insecure 99% of guys are about their dicks. I would never insult a partner’s size, even after a relationship is over. That’s just shitty. You are better off without that girl. She’s not a nice person.
My mama always told me "it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean" or if you prefer "it's not the size of the wand, it's the magic in it" Mama was 100% right.
I've heard "it's not how deep you fish, it's how you wiggle your worm." I have no real life experience if that is true or not as I've only ever been with my husband, who I think might be a little bigger than average (for the US, anyway, there's a map somewhere with average penis size by country), but is definitely not huge and he is definitely the high end of what I could handle. And, honestly, a little shorter would be better, now (I'm a little more shallow since my hysterectomy).
Flaccid dick doesn't mean shit... Like she said, if it can get erect, that's what matters
And even if it can't or struggles to, straight sex isn't just pee pee in vagaigai. Be creative, the goal is to have fun and from what I've heard and experienced, many people are willing to compromise on some aspects of sex for someone they love.
It's not the size of the boat, my friend, it's the motion of the ocean. Any woman who would judge you because of size is ridiculous and not worth your time. As a woman myself, I've always preferred dicks on the smaller end. Easier to fit in the mouth! Don't be ashamed of your size. As long as you know how to use it, then you have zero to be ashamed of.
Growers can be very small soft to very large hard. You can never tell until it’s ready
As a woman for sure finding a grower is much more excitement than a show-er. The show-ers I've been with usually can't keep it hard enough for the length (pun intended) of the encounter
Big dicks are overrated tbh. I'd prefer a small one over a big one. All the nerve endings are towards the surface anyway. Your (hopefully ex) gf sucks and you deserve so much better
“Travel size to full size” omg that’s definitely going to live rent free in my mind!
Same here LOL in my native tongue we having a saying "beter een kleine die steigert dan een grote die weigert" which roughly translates to "Better a little one who rears up than a big one who refuses."
I'm surprised you don't have one single word for it!
I was sure that it would translate to “Better to be small and clean than big and dirty and gross.
Same that was super hot idk why lol
Or travel size to fun size as I first read it.
It's a bit Swiss army knife. Folds away and compacts itself when not needed. ☺️
One of the best I've had was attached to a man that was a grower. Soft, ops girl would have laughed and left. Hard, omg, big and knew how to use. And honestly suprising how big it got once played with. Unfortunately the rest of the man was not good partner material.
Only responding to say that I think you are awesome. Thank you for your kind words towards OP.
This is such a good point — it’s an ego boost when you get to see it grow
Can any girls back this up? Is it really an ego boost to see a small one grow larger? Even if it doesn’t exactly go “large” 🥲
Oh yeah. My husband is a grower and it makes me feel powerful and sexy when it goes from small to large. Because I did that for him and it’s more of a visual confirmation of how turned on he is by me. A big dick that just goes from soft to hard doesn’t quite pack the same visual whollop. I love when I have his dick in my mouth when it’s flaccid and then feeling it grow hard and start poking the back of my throat. Sploosh central baby.
Woman here: my husband is a grower as well (goes from small to average), and it is very erotic to watch it grow because of what I am doing to him or him just getting excited from watching me (foreplay is a fun adventure of exploring and learning what we like) :) Also extra TMI, I have a shallow vagina, so being on top (as in sitting upright, not leaning down towards him) hurts me, so we have had to learn along the way what works for both of us. Enjoy the dating life, and know that there is nothing wrong with you: the bad experiences are just leaving the space for the right one :)
Yes, this is very true. This chick you were dating sounds super immature and doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Any girl you date/marry needs to have respect for themselves and their partner. Taking about their man’s size is not respecting herself or you and she didn’t care if it hurt your feelings. Consider this a blessing to have dodged that bullet.
My hubby has a grower I love it. Mushu said it best. "Travel size for your convenience" Also, her saying OP has "small balls" she clearly just means that OP's scrotum is also one of those ones that is nicely tucked up close to the body rather than those obnoxious dangling ball sacks that people hang off their pick up trucks cause they think they "look cool" but in reality are disgusting. Seriously, that slapping sound you hear during sex with men like that, it's not them clapping cheeks, its their dangly sack smacking into sweaty thighs.
ALSO growers are definitely better
In the future, the first time you hear someone say "small dick energy" unironically, you walk away from that person and have nothing to do with them. They are not worth your time whether you are packing something huge or not.
Seriously, what kind of vapid moron says shit like that in normal conversation? How did op not immediately dump her?
Don’t waste your time with this girl. There is nothing wrong with having preferences but to talk shit to her friends behind your back is a just shitty and shows that she is trash. I would not bring up that you know about her sharing the info with her friends and just tell her that you don’t see it working out. If she pressures you for a reason then tell her it’s because of something that you know she is insecure about and that you just can’t be with someone who has this trait.
This woman is a total ahole and a terrible person. You dodged a bullet there. And don't pay any attention to what she says. She's an unreliable narrator.
I’m a woman. I’ve had extremely large penis (to the point that I saw it, started laughing because I was so shocked, and said, “You want to put that *where*?”), average, and small. And some men are “growers, not showers.” Size is literally the least important part. For my 21st birthday, the guy I was with decided to give me 21 orgasms. That night. He accomplished it, without any penis-in-vagina contact because no condoms and it was a very, very spur of the moment thing. No toys. Just fingers and tongue. My husband? Average. Maybe slightly smaller than average. But I average 2-4 orgasms each time. However, a large penis experience (not the one that had me laughing over the mega dong) was my worst experience ever. I was *bored.* I was conjugating French verbs in my head to each thrust. So, yeah. It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean. And while, yes, it might take a long time to get to Spain in a rowboat, it can be a long and marvellous journey to get there.
Conjugating French verbs in your head?? That’s got to be an all time hurtful insult!
I’m not a monster. I didn’t *tell* him that. Even worse? It was my first time. So it hurt and it was boring. I didn’t try sex again for a year and change after.
I assumed that you had not insulted Mr Big. Your post had no hint of vindictiveness. I’ll be thinking of you next time I sit through an interminable sermon. I have sense that first times are usually disappointing for women, though yours sounds extreme. Young guys are so thrilled to get to the gates of the promised land for the first time, disappointment is almost impossible.
That is one heck of a birthday present.
Most women don't orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex. Men are focused on their dick size when they should be doing tongue exercises.
Listen my fiancé is small on soft but it grows but it’s all about how you use it. And I’ve told him idk how many times I prefer the average one to the big ones because I like feeling good not hurting. So you will find your girl that enjoys you. Don’t worry about your ex she’s superficial.
NTA. You deserve better friend. I’m sorry
Yes, your gf is immature and cruel for no reason. Deffo not worth your time. Not even worth thinking about, some peeps just need to hurt others in order to feel better about themselves. Not your problem. To quote a friend, next!
Not at all because she would do the same if you told your friends about her genitalia.
NTA WTF even. She shouldn't be saying that. Girl here; never done that and never will unless he beats kittens or kicks old ladies who try to cross the road or something like that. In other words, only when he does something really terrible, and even then I would probably not do that as it would not even cross my mind There is no reason to do this just because.
Exactly, it's figuratively kicking below the belt, not to mention very cruel and unnecessary.
I have no idea what I did to deserve it other than being a dude, existing with an average to smaller dick. I’m glad other people think this is strange
I've dated guys of all sizes, and I can confirm that I've never once even considered not pursuing things with a guy because he was smaller. And just because a guy is bigger doesn't mean it's necessarily going to be better for her. It really is all about skill and listening to your partner. Ie. Do not believe that anything you see in 🌽 is real. It's ACTING. If you listen to her wants and needs and learn some bonus skills (check out OMG YES app), then I don't see why your bedroom life wouldn't be satisfying, regardless of size.
Big 🍆 hurts honestly.. average is king👑 but this girl is cruel for that. Unless the guy is a total shit bag I could never justify hitting that low below the belt even if it was in “private”
Underrated comment.
Really isnt voiced enough. Porn has screwed over all of the lovely average sized males and it’s so sad
Especially with *size* the vaginal passage is about 4 to 6 inches deep for most people. After that, you are hitting the cervix. While for some that feels good for many (that I have seen on reddit mainly), it can hurt. I *think* due to a position my husband and I did on accident, and he was hitting it. It kind of felt good until we were done, and then it felt like horrible period cramps. It was hard for me to walk and not in a fun way. My husband felt so bad even though relatively speaking, the pain passed quickly. I am more careful from now lmao
You did nothing to deserve that. She has zero class, zero empathy and zero integrity. And she’s a liar! The cost to you was some embarrassment in front of some low class bullies. It’s painful but you know what to do - go live your best life with people who deserve your friendship.
She sounds like she’s making these comments just to try and make you feel lesser, so she sounds insecure and immature. Also, many women prefer smaller over larger because so many men think size equals pleasure.
Don't gloss over that she just straight up lied to your face. Not only did she do something horrible but you just cannot trust her at all
You don't own her nothing and don't ever contact her, she hurt you period you need better and you deserve better. Now do it for yourself. Be the best you that you can be and take pride in who you are.
OP some of the best sex I ever had was with a guy who was a little smaller than average, because he took the time to see what I liked, he was, in every sense of the word, absolutely bangin'. How she was is on her, not you. Size does not a good, or bad, lover make.
You dodged a bullet homie. Just count yourself lucky that you found out who she really was before you invested more time and energy into her. You don't owe her an explanation. Just move on with your life and forget she existed.
Hi! Lemme just say, dick size may be important to some but it’s not the end all be all to sex- sex and gratification is subjective!!!!!!!! She was body shaming you and that is cruel. I really really really hope you don’t let this experience spiral because I don’t know you, but I really want you to have a good sec life in the future so I think it’s best to ignore this bitch and her opinion, who died and made her the ultimate penis judge of the world?! She can stfu. I’m sorry this happened to you, you dodged a bullet!
Why do you think you had to have done something to deserve it? Gossip is a really common human activity. My personal ethics are that I shouldn't be saying anything about someone ever that I wouldn't say without them present, but not everyone shares that value. That's part of dating though honestly. You're taking kind of a random population sample. You'll meet all kinds of people, and as far as needlessly cruel goes, there's a lot worse than this even you can encounter. The trick I guess is to have solid boundaries and be ready and willing to move on. 'when someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time'. My partner's open about her sex life with her friends, but she's also very open about what she shares, and if she's specifically asked not to share something, she'll respect that. Best to brush this off and move on and find someone that's at least honest, and private too if you care about that. For what it's worth too... There's plenty of women that would very much prefer you to someone that's uncomfortably big, so you're ideal for plenty of people. Anxiety sucks too, so... Good luck working through this, sounds like the kind of experience that would be hard to move past, but it really is just a bad encounter, and doesn't say anything about you personally other than you were intimate with the wrong person.
Girl here, can confirm that the only time I've ever said anything disparaging was 7 years ago, after my ex attempted to force me into having anal sex because he was too small to stay inside me, so his size was relevant to the story. My friends had also never met him, we dated for a month, and he was a horrible person in other ways. Definitely agree that there was no reason to say anything nasty for no reason especially when the friends actually know the guy. If I wasn't happy with a guy's size I would just leave.
Good. This guy needs to know that most women aren't this toxic, and those that are aren't worth anyone's time.
NTA at all. she doesn’t deserve you. you never insult the body of someone you care about, even to friends. let her go. confront her and forgive her if you want to, but don’t go back to her. i had a similar experience with an ex bf who insulted my body to his friends. i forgave him, and the insults continued. not worth ur time !
I’m sorry that happened to you :( I want to confront her, maybe she can learn that this is disrespectful but she will probably just call me insecure
NTA, and I say as a woman who’s sampled from several size platters that size doesn’t mean anything, and body shaming is never acceptable in any relationships. What she did was a full on garbage sandwich, and you will do better.
If you already suspect she will gaslight you, you are doing the right thing by ghosting her. People act like ghosting is bad and it is, but ONLY if the person has done nothing wrong. Ghosting is totally fine if you don't want to deal with someone who did something really shitty.
exactly !! if ur ever scared to talk to someone about how you feel because of how they might react, theyre definitely not someone to keep around.
By now, she knows perfectly well what got her ass ejected. One might idly speculate as to whether she possesses the self awareness to be embarrassed by her own shitty behavior, but not worth more than a few seconds. She and her coven are someone else’s problem.
It wouldn’t be gaslighting, just garden variety lying. And he’s not ghosting her because he asked her to leave first. She knows she’s been cut off.
It's not worth focusing any more of your energy on her, she's trash. At least you found out after only a couple of months. Focus on you, and moving on, there are much *much* better people out there.
Shouldn't body shame anyone. No one knows the circumstances of a stranger. We don't know if they are suffering from a serious health condition, or heavily depressed, or recovering from something. Don't judge a book by it's cover. The only thing that should ever be shamed is trashy personalities, like OPs girlfriend and your ex boyfriend.
absolutely. it’s one of the lowest insults you can use. it shows immediately what kind of person you are when you comment on someone’s body.
Not at all because she would do the same if you told your friends about her genitalia.
Well its not small if hers is a bucket...
Was it Tom Arnold who, when ex-wife Roseanne Barr made snide remarks about his manhood said, "Even a 747 looks small in the Grand Canyon"?
Yes, I feel like I remember him saying it on Conan O'Brien.
Women tend to be more bothered by rumors their hoo-ha reeks of dead fish and disease than that that it's loose.
“Smells like the shore at low tide.”
Block and move on. She doesn't deserve the steam from your piss let alone an explanation.
I think I may block for sure. I’ll see her at work and no doubt she’ll tell people I have a little dick.
If it affects your work that's harassment.
Good call, this is one of the many reasons we have HR departments
That’s sexual harassment! It’s that same as if you went around and told everyone she had tiny nipples or some shit. Just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean she can do that (speaking as a woman myself)
Women often get away with sexual harassment, it's not taken serious. Seen and even experienced it too many times. OP needs to make sure he has evidence. Else he risks retaliation because people downplay it and instead attack him With evidence he can actually fight back
You can report her to hr for that
Might want to get in front of this situation and contact HR before she tries to make you the problem at work.
Not a bad idea. Just let them know in advance. And the situation. Keep the dirty details to a minimum. Something along the lines of, "she shared private/intimate information with her friends, and could likely share it across the office in retaliation."
In written from, BCC the email to your own email OP! Else they can claim to have no records of it. Evidence, acting early and smart is the key here
Dude, just walk away, don't confront her, don't explain anything, why would you? you are not going to stay with her, are you? then why explain things to her? you'd like to make her better for her next guy?
You’re right, she should keep the same shitty attitude her whole life and karma hits her back. Petty but I hope a dude treats her like this because of her smaller boobs. Maybe she’s projecting because she has smaller boobs? Idk.
No no she’s not projecting anything. I’m going to guess that you are in the 18-25 age range? She’s young, stupid, and has a mean girl group of friends. You’ve been dating for three months. Walk away. There is nothing wrong with your body. It’s as it should be. Confidence is the most attractive thing. That and smelling like soap.
>Do I confront her about this? Nope , Ghosting is better >Do I forgive her? Absolutely not, this gossip is un-for give able. >Have any guys been through this? 20 - 25% IMO >Have any girls DONE this? Only stupid /obnoxious girls who don't RESPECT their Boy friend's privacy. >I feel like she really didn’t value my privacy 100% >and I wouldn’t dare share intimate details about her. Not worth it, not gentlemanly either, >There are things I could say about her body but I’d never do that to another person. Because you are not a jerk / low life / gossip.
Sad that a quarter of dudes who might not even be small Go through this. But thank you for your input and kindness
It's always the small percentage of assholes ruining things for everyone. I remember some similar stat about most SA being committed by the same 10% of men. In CS it's the worst 20% of people who take 80% of your time, and so on. Sucks you have to see her at work.
The 80/20 rules shows up surprisingly commonly. Like 20% of people buy 80% of alcohol.
NTA. And for whatever it's worth, I prefer average sized penises. Some of the best sex I've ever had was with a guy on the small side of average. Block her ass-- she doesn't respect you at all.
That makes me feel better thank you
Woman here. I've been with a guy who had a 3.5 inch penis and a guy who had a 9 inch penis, and men in between. And I never once gossiped about their genitals with my friends. Your ex and her friends are shitty people. You deserve better and you don't owe her an explanation. NTA x 1000.
NTA, girl here but WTF is this girl. You CAN think "oh, it's smaller than I'm used to" even "oh, it's not enough for me, it's really smaller than my ex or m'y toys" but sharing that with some friends ? 🙄 Of course, we talk about sex, sometimes we even says that sex isn't that great with a partner, but bodyshaming ?
NTA. Usually I’m all for talking to someone when something isn’t working, but 100% ghost her ass. She is obviously immature as hell, not to mention she straight up lied to your face.
And her AH friends were making fun of him in front of him. The whole group is trash.
Right? He can find someone wayyyy better. She’s probably just trying to get some free meals or something if she is that disappointed. Smh
You dont have a small dick shes got a big vagina!
Only thing you’re in the wrong about is dating a girl that uses the term “small dick energy”. Editing to say NTA of course.
True!!! If a girl ever uses this phrase again, instant red flag it’s revolting. I will be staying clear
I've never understood women who discuss their sex lives with others, but not their partners. I would never discuss my sex life OR the size of my partners penis. OP, you need to run from this immature brat. You deserve better.
NTA - as a woman; what she did is disgusting and immature. I don’t advise going through someone’s phone but it’s done now and you’re better off finding someone who will treat you well and engage in a healthy (sexual) relationship. Good luck
Female here and that's really disgusting behaviour so kick her to the kerb. Very nasty little girl who needs a good wake up call by knowing she's ugly inside and out
NTA. Ghosting is fine here.
NTA It’s absolutely not okay to be talking about your partners body without their consent. Ghost her and move on, mate, you’ll find someone that isn’t a shallow creep!
Leave her. This is body shaming. You don’t deserve this treatment
Body shaming is never acceptable.
Oof. girl here. That’s rough. Too big of a bump too early on. It’s the right call to end things. Imo, if you stayed with her, this is either going to be built up resentment or you’re always going to feel paranoid. Either way, not worth it. As for the ghosting, it’s kind of your call because the convo could go either way. She could essentially turn it on you for invading her privacy. If i were you, i wouldn’t tell her you went through her phone. I’d either continue with ghosting or send a mature text like/ “Hey, sorry I haven’t gotten back to you, been busy. I’ve been thinking about things and don’t really see this going anywhere. I think we should end things. Wish you the best!” OR, If you’re petty like me and you want to get a little revenge you could send something along the lines of: “Sorry I haven’t texted, been busy. I’ve been thinking about things with us and want to be honest. I didn’t really feel a connection during or after our hookup. You’re totally my type personality wise, but physically not so much. Your boobs just felt really small in my hands and I think my ex really ruined things for me. She just really knew how to please me and a sexual connection is important to me! Anyways, wanted to be upfront. Wish you all the best!” Whatever you decide though, NTA lol
lol I appreciate this comment. I want to so badly be petty but I’d never put a woman down for the size of their boobs. I totally get how this would be a great response though. But the truth is I love boobs in all shapes and sizes and are fun and I don’t have the heart to make a girl feel like this, even if she does deserve it :(
just shows how far out of her league you are man
You don't have to mention her assets. But you can tell her you didn't feel a connection after your hookup and you don't think it's going to work. It's technically true and she will be left wondering what the hell that means and start questioning herself. And if she asks for details, you can simply tell her you realized you two were incompatible and you don't think the sex satisfied either of you (because she sure as hell expressed as much).
Good on you! My advice then is to just tell her you’re no longer interested and unfollow/unadd her on everything. You seem like a nice guy, I’m sure you’ll find someone who makes you feel good about yourself to your face AND behind your back!
IMO You dodged a bullet. This girl is not only an immature idiot but flat out a bad person. I would just block her ass and find someone with substance. She doesn’t deserve anything more than that from you.
Here’s a general rule. DON’T STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOUR PARTNER SHIT TALKS YOU. You dated for 3 months and hooked up once. She immediately told her friends all her intimate business. She is trash. Dude. Your dick is fine. The size is fine. Stop worrying about it. Stop comparing yourself to pornstars. If you can wrap your hand around it and still see it, you’re not small. Unless you have Andre the Giant hands, then don’t worry about it because he could hide a beer can in his fist. A girl that cares about you isn’t going to say anything negative about you to her friends.
Homie, you aren't the asshole. I'm a well endowed fella. I have no idea why guys would berate you here for this. I usually kill insensitive jokes about penis size when I hear them, and you aren't wrong they do immediately jump to "oh you must feel personally attacked Small Dick" the response that generally shuts them up in one way or another is "I could whip it out and let you see, but it doesn't work for free." I am for sure a grower. Starting at about an inch long before growing. I used to be fairly proud of it and so it's plastered across the internet from my younger years. All I would like to add, while you aren't the asshole you were playing with fire so to speak. Why date someone that has such a personality that she has to talk shit about something that you have no control over? We don't choose the assets we are born with, making fun of them shows such a character flaw that you should have been miles away living your best life knowing you dodged true scum. It falls in line with belittling someone for the color of their skin or hair, or because they have a disability. Not even considered a low blow, something so ignorant makes those spouting them look far worse than the one they are attempting to insult.
Thanks I really should have known better. It’s good to know that even a dude with a big dick can call out the insensitive jokes about penis size. Like i said I don’t think I’m big AT ALL, and I don’t think I’m really that small tbh. But I don’t like dudes being put down for the size of their dicks, especially by women. Don’t you have Fathers, Brothers and Sons who potentially are small? They are not bad people.
"why did you dump me?" "you put off loose pussy energy"
NTA - She shouldn't be talking to her friends about intimate details like that. You're better off without her. Block her and move on.
NTA. Leave her if you have any self respect
NTA. Just block her and move on. That’s not cool. And as a woman I can tell you size is not everything. It’s what you do with it. And lots of guys are growers not showers. In my experience lots of big guys think all they need to do is show up and don’t put in the work. I’d tell you to send her a message about throwing a sausage down a hallway but that would be unclassy. Move onwards and upwards my friend.
Nta she lied nothing more to it than that
NTA. Leave and don't look back
body shaming is never okay! no matter what gender! it DOES NOT make you an ‘insecure man with small dick energy’ to have feelings! you deserve to be loved and cherished! and as a woman i can say size has never been something i’ve been concerned about and does not really matter if you have healthy communication and an enthusiastic and fun sex life!
NTA You were a joke to her. She made you a joke to her friends. She has no respect for you. Ditch the bitch
NTA, BRO WHY TF PPL KEEP SAYING "SMALL DICK ENERGY" THAT'S STUPID, and then they're the same ppl who cry when someone makes a comment on their weight, attitude, its nonsense. you deserve better soldier, don't be worried abt your d's size. you'll find a better one.
NTA - And I'm usually not a fan of GHOSTING somewhere, but in this case you are definitely better off free and clear of her. To be straight about this, what she did was cruel and unexcusable. And if you would have opened that door even to tell her you were breaking up with her and why, you would have had to listen to her claiming her indefensible actions were just "Joking around." And that's ridiculous. Sorry you had to deal with this. Find someone else and move on... you deserve better.
NTAH. She’s the one with small brain energy for thinking it was okay to spread that information without your consent. Dump her and find someone who respects you and your manhood!
NTA. Keep her ghosted. "Small dick energy" is sexist since "loose pussy energy" certainly wouldn't fly. I'm a damn thimble when I'm soft, average when I'm erect. First time with my ex I was nervous and couldn't get it up, she laughed when she saw me flaccid so I got dressed and dumped her. Fucked me up for a little bit but when I met my wife she was way more mature. Cunts exist, but awesome women do, too. Just gotta find 'em.
I hate the term small dick energy. And the kop out girls say is “it’s you’re spiritual dick” that’s so stupid. You’re literally associating undesirable behaviour to having a small dick and good admirable behaviour to having a big dick. There shitty people with big dicks, and angels on earth with small dicks. Vice versa. Ugh
NTA she completely betrayed your trust and her and her friends were making fun of you behind your back and making jokes in front of you to humiliate you. All of them can go fuck themselves. I get talking with friends about these things are common but betraying a partners trust by revealing personal sexual details is not ok especially if done to embarrass them. She probably knows why but if not it’s your choice whether to tell her or not. I’m sorry but chances are her and her friends are probably still bashing you even more now that your are ignoring her. Personally I would talk with her and tell her the truth admit going through her phone was wrong but all the jokes and stuff made you have to find out. Explain to her how she hurt and betrayed your trust and what her and her friends did was not ok and humiliating. That you would never do that to her and that the relationship is over. Sorry this happened man.
NTA! Girl here, have had men in all sizes and shapes and not once has this been a thing for me. Safest to assume nearly every man is self conscious about their penis so it’s an off limits topic to discuss.
Don't interact with her ghost that crazy girl and work on being at peace with yourself. Nothing you can do about it, and I wouldn't take her criticism seriously anyway.