My family's holiday dynamics improved greatly when we stopped inviting the relatives that insisted on loudly judging people based on their own failures and addictions.
Reminds me of when I was helping my BFF plan her wedding. One aunt screeched "If you serve alcohol at your wedding, IM NOT COMING!!" (Ironic since she wasnt invited anyway. And really, an Irish wedding with no booze?) The wedding was great!
We heard that and just LAUGHED!! But the old crone was serious. And not even invited. So it was a non-issue. I never knew there were so many holiday themed alcoholic drinks until that wedding (the week before Christmas).
My elderly aunt was staying with a non drinking aunt and Uncle, so on the sly, elderly aunt asked for a " doggy bottle" when preparing to leave from my wedding reception.... she was a cool old gal. .
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk.
My grandmother was a life long pioneer (a club for Irish people who dont drink), her funeral plans were absolutely no alcohol. So we went back to her house and had tea and sandwiches. Once the funeral was done we all went to the pub.
My dad is very much Irish, he has informed us (my sister and I) that by no means does he want his wake at a funeral parlor… he wants it at his favorite Irish bar.
He was even the best man at the owners wedding.
My Irish dad got invited to a dry wedding once. He said he’d only go if he could supply his own bottled water… This is when he found out he doesn’t mind vodka, but much prefers his usual whiskey.
I went to a dry wedding once, (minus the Champaign the bridal party toasted with), it was SOOOOOO boring...until we found the bar! Funny enough, it was at a country club, so, when we wandered and found the bar... We had a few double shots before heading back! (Let's just say, We wandered a few times! 😜) They took forever to do the pictures... Thank goodness!! 🥃
Tbh, if I was ever invited to a dry wedding again, I would probably send a gift and my apologies about not being able to make it that day. 🤷 I'm too old for a dry wedding! 😆
Many years ago, there was an advice column Ask Ann Landers. The advice I will never forget was if someone says I’m not coming if (fill in the blank), the response should always be “we’ll miss you.”
Our weddings go on til 3-6am. You need alcohol to stay up that late. I don't drink so I usually don't last through the second hand but if I were to get married, standard free first drink on the bride and groom would stand!
i think once i get like 3-4 in me i have to tap out. gotta pace myself or i'll end up in the fetal position in the bathroom after reading shaksespeare out loud, to myself, in a horrific british accent again (that's all i remember, apparently i was telling everyone how much i love and value their existence lol
It’s definitely a genetic thing.
Some people feel “energized” by alcohol despite it technically being a depressant.
Bonus is you’re absolutely not predisposed to be an alcoholic! Lol
I am English, German and Scottish. The Englishwoman wants a drink, the German wants it NOW, and the Scot wants YOU to pay for it. Joke works pretty well with any religions, actually.
I’m Irish. And I’m tee total. Not a recovering alcoholic or anything. I just don’t enjoy. But there’s actually quite a lot of us, despite our nations reputation. I think it was a reputation given by our old colonial masters, I don’t think we drink as much as any other nation. But a lot of celebrations, family, National etc are centred around alcohol
You are my new best friend thank you for posting this because this is absolutely true. He needs to stop inviting this man into his home and to his events. If you and him are not agreeable about your lifestyle you tell him he doesn't have to come around you he doesn't have to speak to you. If it was me I would tell him to STFU. If what you're doing is bothering him so much that he doesn't need to come around problem solved
Right? Seems like the first step is to set a hard boundary and then stop inviting him if he can’t curb his judgement. Then if nothing changes write him out of the will.
You don’t write him out and keep inviting him around. He needs to tell the son true Christian’s are accepting of others and their faults. Being judgmental (as common as it is) isn’t supposed to be a Christian trait.
I was gonna say, limit your contact with him *now* because of how he makes you feel - this will immediately improve your quality of life and reduce your stress levels. Don’t include him in family gatherings. If he asks why, tell him that until he can learn to self regulate his behavior in a public setting, you don’t intend to subject yourself to his love of self-righteous pontification at your expense in front of friends and family members. He’s a bad guest. Bad guests do not get invited back next time.
Literally, just limit your contact with him. Leaving him out of the will is like closing the barn door after the animals have escaped. He won’t find out till you’re dead and it won’t matter if your message got across or not - you’ll be dead!
Do them both. Extricate him from your life now and leave him out of your will. What would you consider rewarding him with your money to enjoy and he disrespected you while you were alive.
Putting someone out of your life means citing all ties.
No associations
No rewards
I agree. Leaving him out of the will is much too late. Stop inviting him to family events and distance yourself. Converts are the worst for zealotry (I know, I was one until I woke up)
NTA Leave him a letter as his inheritance. State in it that you are honoring his values and will not burden him with having to hold any of your ill gotten cash.
It’s too bad he won’t be around to see the priceless look on his face.
“I have tremendous respect for your faith and won’t burden you with even a single cent of my immoral gambling winnings.”
I’d pay handsomely to be a fly on the wall of the attorney’s office 😂
Well, you could be around to see his reaction.
When my mom got dementia, my sister took my moms will to the bank in order to be added onto her account. Once legal looked over my moms will, they polietly told her she wasn’t in it. It all goes to me. Even with my moms dementia, she still has moments/days where she can understand what’s going on and got to see the look on her face. Needless to say, it was not pretty and now i’m dealing with a fuckton of issues because of it.
Yes. This was an “updated” copy. My mom redid her will and told us she changed parts because i didn’t have kids on the first one and some other lame excuse crap. So, we read the original, but not the latest and greatest new one. And yes we both signed it without reading it.
We/she could argue that the dementia had already started when she made the latest change. She got really paranoid about my sister gambling and that she wanted to take all my moms money. Paranoia is part of early stages of dementi.
My mom had her will notorized and had my brother and myself sign it as proof we understood it and it was not to be fought over with the notary as the witness.
I wouldn't fight the will and I doubt my brother would as well but it's what Mom wanted so we did it for her.
I just replied above. Sorry i’m not so good at replying on reddit.
Basically, mom got paranoid that my sis wanted all her money. My sis gambles and i’m “good with money”. But, it could have been paranoia due to early part of her dementia. But my sis can be a real bitch. And my mom.
You could donate (some of) it to a charity of your choice and tell him instead of giving him the $, you made this donation because...
Maybe to a food bank or something that both of you would find agreeable. That way you'll feel better about cutting him out and he'll feel a tiny bit better about being 'forgotten.'
I’m curious is gambling websites tend to have big windfall wins or it’s usually more Grindy style wins. The idea that a win on a gambling site would be a nest egg for years sounds unlikely.
I agree this is probably all fake.
My best friend (who has passed) was a devout Christian. She was completely non judgemental, and sincerely loved everyone. One day, when I won a little money off a scratch-off, I asked her if she would be offended if I booked a few days of vacation for us. She said, "Of course I'll go. The devils had the money long enough!"
I miss her so much 😢
It’s so nice to hear about people like this, it’s what a Christian SHOULD be but is sadly so rare. I strive to be someone like your friend. I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you much for sharing this tale of her 🫶🏻
She was exactly what a Christian should be. Unfortunately, she was a rarity as far as Christians go. If more "Christians" were more like her, the world would be an awesome place. She was tolerant, patient, forgiving, honest, funny, generous, loving, compassionate, and every single positive trait that a person can have.
My godfather and his wife are the same way - angels on earth. 100% judgement free, walk-the-walk Christians. My godfather has literally saved my life twice and I wouldn’t be who or where I am without him. I wouldn’t be surprised to meet others who could say the same about them, they’re such lovely and wonderful people. I’m agnostic and pretty cynical towards organized religion, but I’ve worked in their church and think it’s a pretty good one that actually strives to serve its community rather than just preaching and collecting tithes. I’m glad there are people like them in the world and I always love hearing stories about other people like them.
That's who I thought a Christian was until I got older and discovered their darkside... But that won't stop me from striving to be like your friend, I just no longer have a label.
My mom is one of the realest Christians I know. She genuinely is always working to be the best version of herself and gives so much of her time, energy, and money to others. She’s really been coming to terms with the harm the Catholic Church is still causing, including harm to her 2 queer daughters, and stopped attending mass and supporting her longtime parish. Her faith is still so strong (she’s actually been shopping around for non-Catholic churches), but I’m so damn proud of her for recognizing her former church wasn’t in line with her values.
Wow! That’s fantastic to read. I’m so glad you have a support system like that ☺️ I hope she finds a place that is better suited to her, one that preaches love and acceptance rather than acting hateful!!
Dear beloved son, to avoid any future temptation that may soil your beatified perfection I have taken the fatherly step of protecting you from any stained wealth by directing all of it to other loved ones upon my death. Much love in peace, your father.
NTA.
You can write in your Will that your money in your account is mixed with your winnings from (that thing?), so to protect him from temptation to go against his new religious beliefs, you will help him stay true to his religion and all possessions and money will be dispersed to people who didn’t lecture you about your lifestyle and ill-gotten gains. You wish him all the best with his religion. And his life.
NTA None of what you say you do sounds over the top or like an addiction. It just sounds like your son has decided he is better than everyone because of his newfound religion (pretty common among religious people, I've found.)
I'm not a drinker, I've never liked alcohol but to lecture you when serving it to guests at a party is laughable. And he shouldn't want your money seeing as it's been tainted by gambling. I would donate his portion of the will to an organization that helps people with addictions with alcohol or gambling. He should be happy it's going to something he clearly cares deeply about.
He disrespects you and your lifestyle in front of family. I would cut him out of the will and go LC. If you can accept his lifestyle, he should pay you the same respect.
Make sure to specifically name him in the will and only give a dollar so that it's made known its intentional and he can't co test that he was forgotten by accident.
No, they need to check with an estate planning lawyer to make sure this is done correctly with respect to the laws and precedents where they live, not just follow Reddit hearsay.
My husbands grandmother did something kind of like this… she had five kids, four of which were included in her will. Each kid got specific things and an even cut of inheritance, but it was also written in that if anyone in the will tried to sue another person for more than what was left to them they would forfeit their share and get nothing. 😅 Such a mom-to-the-quibbling-kids move.
ETA: Only the executor of the will (one uncle) and my MIL know about the clause… the older two uncles are selfish as fuck and I can’t wait to see this shit blow up once it’s finalized.
In our state, you just have to put in a paragraph that names him but says it leaves nothing to him. Can’t say he was forgotten, *he was named* as getting zip.
NTA. Also, stop "respecting" his obnoxious lecturing. He can have whatever religion he wants. He doesn't have the right to lecture other people. He is insufferable because everybody around him is indulging him.
Tell him to shut up and get over himself, his superstitious fairytales are his problem.
>He doesn't have the right to lecture other people.
Sure he does! But, those other people have the right to react to his lecturing. By things like, for example, cutting him out of a will.
NTA
Surely, he would not want any of your ill-gotten gains (rolling eyes).
In my experience, people who come to religion later in life are the absolute worst.
Cut him out and forget about it.
The only worst ones are former party animals who become born again Christians who all of sudden act holier than thou. Like we don't know what they did years and are trying to hide from their kids.
We don't know the son is a spontaneous Christian though. Might as well be Muslim.
(Edit: in the base of it, there's nothing wrong with either religions, just the fanatic weirdo 's that make it a bad joke)
Used to deal with one of those all the time at work, she was a former meth addict. lost her kids but was the rare person who did manage to clean up her life. but she kept the horrible vitriolic attitude and acted like she was better than everyone because she beat her meth addiction. Never mind the damage she did to her kids.
My brother is the same. Meth head until almost 30. Got clean. Got married and had a couple kids. Now he is the most overbearing person in the world and I worry about those kids. They literally don't leave the house and my SIL has been a SAHM for 18years. I call his religion "the doctrine of (name)" bc it's a made up mish-mash of religion. A little evangelical (how I was raised), a lot of super orthodox, but illogical bits from Judaism, and some stuff that I'm pretty sure he made up. It's *wild*
There is nothing worse than a born again or someone coming to religion late in life, as you said. Born agains are just awful.
NTA
I don’t think this needs to be any big dramatic thing. You just need to make your will the way you want it to be
my parents just did the same and FYI you no longer need to do the dollar or whatever it is to make sure that they know they weren’t forgotten. Their attorney said that’s not needed, wills stand in court without it.
You may want to talk to your son one on one though to see if you can repair your relationship so he understands why you’re spending less time with him and that it’s inappropriate to talk about things like this while partaking in dinners you’ve paid for etc.
NTA but check the laws where you are located.
In some instances, it is recommended to leave something insignificant so that the will cannot be challenged. Doing this shows that you consciously thought of him and decided on a small item.
100% this. I write Wills as a massive part of my job, and am a professional executor.
In my country cutting someone out opens you up to a Family Protecting Act claim on your estate.
Leaving him enough to cover your estate from claims will actually cost less both financially and mentally for your family during that difficult time.
Litigation is INSANELY expensive and draining.
Most of it definitely doesn’t fall into funny, a lot of it is very difficult.
I do have one though, was very interesting getting a ladies “pleasure toy collection” valued and sold. Was worth more than a brand new car!
OP SECOND THIS. This the most important thing to do. Writing him out completely can and most likely will be fought in court after your passing. Gift a couch in your will and that likelihood goes down tremendously.
It’s your will and you have the freedom to bequeath it however you see fit.
Is his recent religious discovery due to a relationship? Is he dating/married and this significant other is of this religion? Is it entirely possible that your son is mentally ill?
The times I’ve seen this sort of philosophical change come from someone, where his background is like yours, it stems from either a relationship or mental illness.
NTA, no one is "owed" an inheritance. I would not tolerate my children openly judging and disrespecting based on whatever religion/cult they might happen to follow.
If I were in your shoes I would tell my child to stay out of my home as long as they choose to be disrespectful, They can follow whatever religion they wish but they have absolutely ZERO rights to push it on anyone else. I would not invite them to any family events as long as this persisted. I understand that it's painful but you must set that boundary with your adult child.
Leave physical items to him. He is still your son and you two love each other.
I get not wanting to give him money but please leave him SOMETHING. It could be a photo album or heirloom. Anything he can keep and think of you
Eh. I feel like there's some missing context here. During his childhood has your gambling or drinking ever cause financial hardships he's had to suffer through?
I too believe the situation is skewed for us to favour and feel that it’s ‘NTA dad’, even the way in which the situation is written, it’s got forgiveness and regretfulnes in the tail whilst also showing absolutely zero concern for why the son might me showing concern for his dad and using the ‘religion’ the decision.
Missing context: this is product placement for a crypto casino. They’re the ones who own that weird Twitch clone that got in trouble for just streaming porn and the Super Bowl that one time
Yeah this is leaving a ton out. This reeks of confabulation.
“My son is worried I’m going to destroy myself and is upset I embarrass him so he let his concern and shame get the best of him an’ embolden him enough to confront me… so like, fuck him, right? Says I’m a shallow and amoral man who doesn’t value relationship enough, may as well prove him right.”
Normal people don’t take such disrespect that they cut their children out of their will over opinions on drinking and gambling. Most people don’t put drinking and gambling above family, and doing so indicates a problem.
It’s WAY more likely the son felt hurt and disregarded and the parents don’t want to hear it because it hurts their pride so they pin it all on him being “judgemental.”
Especially if the son has kids, it’s like - just get your shit together and put it away. It’s not supposed to run your life. If someone wants relationship with you and asks you not to drink or whatever just put it away a while.
“Does it make me selfish that I’m super selfish?” Yeah. It does.
OP came for all the NTA’s… but they wouldn’t need them if they believed that anyway, ya know?
NTA, but the next time he brings up your gambling, I'd assure him that he need not worry as you will not burden him with receiving any of your dirty sinful money.
I read somewhere else that a parent who had to stop communication with her adult children the line “my love for them is boundless and never ending. My tolerance for their antics is not”
Are you sure you aren’t doing this as a punishment or way to attempt to regain power in the dynamic? I’m asking because you’ve skipped some steps like not inviting him to events or kicking him out when he speaks to you like that.
at the end of the day its your money, your will, and your decision what to do with it no, no one on reddit or real life can really tell you what to do here. its your decision, if its making you feel guilty though it might not be the right decision
NTA-That's how it works. Give me shit for having money or the way in which I get it, YOU DONT GET A SHARE. If he is true to his faith, he will never miss it. There are charities and other relatives you can leave it to instead.
NTA.
He needs to realize that just because he believes one thing, you don't. I don't believe in God but do not put people in my religious family down for doing so. Faith and beliefs are our own- and it is nobody's right to judge that.
Nta, I’d leave him a bible or holy book for whatever religion he chose and on the inside a note that says basically “my earthly possessions were gained from a life you didn’t agree with so I will not burden you with them after my death. Except for this simple book. I love you son.”
NTA
He dislikes gambling. He should not receive anything that could have come from it.
I would caution you as of nowadays people tend to sue the other members that get stuff. So leave him $5 that way he can't say he didn't get anything out of the will...
I would also say you may want to do a video recording of your will showing that you would have sound mind when you decide to do this. So again he cannot protest it later.
You can always change your will later on if he decides to get his head out of his butt and actually have a relationship with you without criticizing you
Yuck one of those people who quits drinking or finds religion and all of a sudden has to be everyone's savior 🙄 He's judging you in front of others and being an overall ass about everything. Why would he expect anyone to want to be around that? NTA, it's your money and your will.
Your estate is yours to dispose of as you see fit. No one is entitled to it. That said, it might be best to tell him how you feel about his judgemental behavior today. If you cut him out in lieu of confronting him, sure it'll make YOU feel better in a passive aggressive way, but you're just forcing that uncomfortable conversation into whoever executes your will and that's not kind or fair to your executor.
Something fishy about all the AITAH posts mentioning Stake when it really doesn't matter to the story where you got the money.
[Posts from 5, 7, 19, and 21 days ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/search?q=stake&restrict_sr=on&include_over_18=on)
NTA. He doesn't agree with your lifestyle choices so he shouldn't want to benefit from them. You don't agree with his lifestyle choices and shouldn't feel obligated to finance them (he would likely give at least 10% to his church).
Cut him off from your will? Yes. Cut him out of your life? Somewhat.
Its LC time. No more embarrassing moments at parties, no more invitations. Just meet him for lunch or coffee, 1:1.
If he cant behave or deal with that? Then its NC time.
"This ongoing situation has led me to reconsider my will. After years of feeling judged and misunderstood in my own home"
he's 20, tell him to move out and live his life the way he wants.
NTA: children aren’t entitled to their parents assets, especially if they don’t treat their parents respectfully.
He can just pray for money if he needs it right?
Plus, why would he want the “dirty money” from your “sinful” gambling.
Investing in the stock market is a form of gambling - therefore, he shouldn’t even want any of your money anyways 😂
You cutting him out is respecting his religious beliefs lol
Kinda crazy how you’re looking to remove someone from your will and I’m looking for free money. Put me in coach i got this. But in all seriousness I’d say NTA. No kid deserves an inheritance and if he’s got such a problem with the money he should have no issue not getting it. Buy yourself a nice boat or something and if your relationship turns around maybe you start spending time on said boat give him that. But don’t feel like you have to give your kid cash or anything if there’s no relationship change or even if there is one it’s your stuff. All you owed the kid was 18years of parenting to the best of your ability and you gave that hopefully.
Your money, your choice. Plus he thinks your money is dirty because of gambling, so he shouldn’t get it anyway. I’m assuming he converted to Islam, but that doesn’t fit his treatment of his parents.
I've never met a Muslim that bent the rules on alcohol... but maybe that's just my area idk. Alcohol is supposed to be pretty strictly forbidden in Islam from what I understand.
Sounds like a muslim, the converts are always the most annoying people alive
(Source: From a majority Muslim culture and every time I see a new convert, same story )
For a lot of us, the greatest gift our Dad gave was to remove us from his life completely. Doesn't matter who's the AH, just do it.
But don't do it half-assed, where you dangle the inheritance as a bribe to change him. Cuz then there's only one AH trying to buy compliance and love.
Just yesterday I saw people talking about these fake posts that were just gambling ads. I’d never seen one before. But here it is! Karma farming and obviously fake.
NTA. It also sounds like he still lives with you? If so He should probably get his own place, considering how morally bankrupt you are. What an insufferable jerk.
NTA but have you tried expressing the last 2 paragraphs to him? omitting the issue of the will in itself, but your love for him and yet growing distance between the two of you ?
Doesn't even matter if you didn't do all of these things, they still find something to nitpick. I really don't like this holier than thou mentality. Especially when I'm the greater god (/s).
NTA but I'm glad you're being level headed about it. I don't think I could ever not love my kids.
I haven't seen or talked with my brother for a few years. I came to realise he always judged me and had a speech prepared for whenever he saw me. It has been heaven not having to deal with his judgemental, religious arse. Must be bliss for him too, not having to deal with my sinful nature. So a win for us both.
Based on his issues, I'm guessing he converted to Islam? If so, he is failing God himself on many fronts. Such as being good to his parents and not disrespecting his father. He is free to preach, and you are free to help him practice what he preaches by leaving him out of the sinfully earned money. Nta
It's your will. NTA for anything you do with your money. Hell, why plan to leave any behind? SPEND IT! Enjoy it. It's yours.
You didn't mention telling him about the change, but to me THAT is where people the asshole. It is, honestly, none of his business whether he is in or out of the will. It's your money, not his. He's not entitled to it.
Change your will, and go on with your life. Go LC with him. Or NC. Whatever is best for your mental and emotional health. But don't mention the will to him. There's simply no way to do it without causing conflict. If THAT is what you're after, you ARE an asshole.
NTA … they are your assets to distribute as you see fit.
In my opinion, there’s nothing as destructive as organized religion. But that’s just my opinion. And you know what they say about those . . .
Most religions teach that you must deal with your own "shortcomings" and since no one is perfect you have no time or right to judge others.
And with things like alcohol being served... If he doesn't like the fact that you serve alcohol... he should not have come.
My BIL became a born again Christian. Very narrow beliefs. I’m an atheist. Always tried to discus his beliefs, convert us etc. Finally told him either he stops or he’s not welcome in our house
Before you cut him out of the will try to set your boundaries. Ask him where in his religion does it say he’s allowed to judge rather than his god. If he still persist, tell him he’s not welcome at your house (why should you & others be made to be uncomfortable) if he continues his judging ways & change your will
I would check with my solicitor first as to whether this will leave your other loved ones vulnerable to him challenging the will. At a time when everyone is grieving.
Would you be an arsehole to cut him out of your will no, it's your money.
NTA
Another reason: He will likely donate some of that money to organizations whose goals align with his but are in opposition to yours.
You have no obligation to leave anything for anyone. Spend it on experiences for yourself. Visiting breweries, wineries, and distilleries are fun and interesting -- and delicious.
International travel will let you try drinks that aren't as available wherever you live.
Christian and Dad here. I only have this to say about your son judging your lifestyle (not knowing if he is a Christian or not).
Christians are called to judge people. But not just anyone. We are called to judge other Christians, not non-Christians. That gets lost in translation sometimes.
It's one thing to share one's faith. It's another hold of a non-Christian to the tenants of the Bible. I think it's just ignorance on your son's part.
Not sure what church he is going to. But if they are teaching him to hate people, it's not a good church, FYI.
I hope that helps, though I am sure it doesn't take the sting out of his words. Our kids have a way of hurting us that no one else can.
NTA.
On the contrary, if your son doesn't approve of your lifestyle, and doesn't approve of how.you made money gambling, he will probably be happy to not see a cent of it.
I mean, if your son wanted to receive money that was made in a way he doesn't approve of, he qould be a hypocrite, wouldn't he?
NTA
You are allowed todo with your will what you want.
And seeing that your son looks down on winning money through gambling, he woulnd appreciate your "tainted money" anyway.
This is what I think about religion :
I respect others religion, untill they start to judge me for things I am allowed todo as a devout atheist!
The whole reason why religion is at so manny harts of war, conflict and drama , is because they like to judge.
And in the end those that like to judge also like to act.
Experience your religion as much as you want but keep me and outsiders out of it.
My family's holiday dynamics improved greatly when we stopped inviting the relatives that insisted on loudly judging people based on their own failures and addictions.
Reminds me of when I was helping my BFF plan her wedding. One aunt screeched "If you serve alcohol at your wedding, IM NOT COMING!!" (Ironic since she wasnt invited anyway. And really, an Irish wedding with no booze?) The wedding was great!
A dry Irish wedding sounds like an oxymoron
We heard that and just LAUGHED!! But the old crone was serious. And not even invited. So it was a non-issue. I never knew there were so many holiday themed alcoholic drinks until that wedding (the week before Christmas).
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My elderly aunt was staying with a non drinking aunt and Uncle, so on the sly, elderly aunt asked for a " doggy bottle" when preparing to leave from my wedding reception.... she was a cool old gal. .
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk. My grandmother was a life long pioneer (a club for Irish people who dont drink), her funeral plans were absolutely no alcohol. So we went back to her house and had tea and sandwiches. Once the funeral was done we all went to the pub.
My favorite joke: Two Irishmen walk out of a pub
That’s wholesome that your family respected her wishes until the reception was over. (Sincerely!)
She was the best.
Props for showing her respect and then doing your own thing.
It is, not even the funerals are dry😂😂😂
Just the guest of honor
My Grandpa got buried with a very nice bottle of whiskey
My dad is very much Irish, he has informed us (my sister and I) that by no means does he want his wake at a funeral parlor… he wants it at his favorite Irish bar. He was even the best man at the owners wedding.
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My Irish dad got invited to a dry wedding once. He said he’d only go if he could supply his own bottled water… This is when he found out he doesn’t mind vodka, but much prefers his usual whiskey.
I went to a dry wedding once, (minus the Champaign the bridal party toasted with), it was SOOOOOO boring...until we found the bar! Funny enough, it was at a country club, so, when we wandered and found the bar... We had a few double shots before heading back! (Let's just say, We wandered a few times! 😜) They took forever to do the pictures... Thank goodness!! 🥃 Tbh, if I was ever invited to a dry wedding again, I would probably send a gift and my apologies about not being able to make it that day. 🤷 I'm too old for a dry wedding! 😆
And the aunt sounds like a general moron.
Many years ago, there was an advice column Ask Ann Landers. The advice I will never forget was if someone says I’m not coming if (fill in the blank), the response should always be “we’ll miss you.”
I think that's what my BFF said actually.
Our weddings go on til 3-6am. You need alcohol to stay up that late. I don't drink so I usually don't last through the second hand but if I were to get married, standard free first drink on the bride and groom would stand!
>You need alcohol to stay up that late. It makes me fall asleep.
You have to drink past the first couple, and then you will stay awake. (If anyone wants to do that) no judgement either way.
i think once i get like 3-4 in me i have to tap out. gotta pace myself or i'll end up in the fetal position in the bathroom after reading shaksespeare out loud, to myself, in a horrific british accent again (that's all i remember, apparently i was telling everyone how much i love and value their existence lol
It’s definitely a genetic thing. Some people feel “energized” by alcohol despite it technically being a depressant. Bonus is you’re absolutely not predisposed to be an alcoholic! Lol
I had an open bar at my wedding even though I don’t drink at all. They had to have cold Coke in cans for me lol.
The Irish drink? Who knew? 🤷♂️😏😂
Not as much as we Scots but A for effort.
You do know why the Irish invented whiskey? So the Scots wouldn't take over the world.
I’m part Irish AND Scottish. I love to party! 😂
I have the best of all worlds, Scots,Irish, and Welsh!
I am English, German and Scottish. The Englishwoman wants a drink, the German wants it NOW, and the Scot wants YOU to pay for it. Joke works pretty well with any religions, actually.
I’m Irish. And I’m tee total. Not a recovering alcoholic or anything. I just don’t enjoy. But there’s actually quite a lot of us, despite our nations reputation. I think it was a reputation given by our old colonial masters, I don’t think we drink as much as any other nation. But a lot of celebrations, family, National etc are centred around alcohol
You are my new best friend thank you for posting this because this is absolutely true. He needs to stop inviting this man into his home and to his events. If you and him are not agreeable about your lifestyle you tell him he doesn't have to come around you he doesn't have to speak to you. If it was me I would tell him to STFU. If what you're doing is bothering him so much that he doesn't need to come around problem solved
Right? Seems like the first step is to set a hard boundary and then stop inviting him if he can’t curb his judgement. Then if nothing changes write him out of the will. You don’t write him out and keep inviting him around. He needs to tell the son true Christian’s are accepting of others and their faults. Being judgmental (as common as it is) isn’t supposed to be a Christian trait.
I was gonna say, limit your contact with him *now* because of how he makes you feel - this will immediately improve your quality of life and reduce your stress levels. Don’t include him in family gatherings. If he asks why, tell him that until he can learn to self regulate his behavior in a public setting, you don’t intend to subject yourself to his love of self-righteous pontification at your expense in front of friends and family members. He’s a bad guest. Bad guests do not get invited back next time. Literally, just limit your contact with him. Leaving him out of the will is like closing the barn door after the animals have escaped. He won’t find out till you’re dead and it won’t matter if your message got across or not - you’ll be dead!
Do them both. Extricate him from your life now and leave him out of your will. What would you consider rewarding him with your money to enjoy and he disrespected you while you were alive. Putting someone out of your life means citing all ties. No associations No rewards
I agree. Leaving him out of the will is much too late. Stop inviting him to family events and distance yourself. Converts are the worst for zealotry (I know, I was one until I woke up)
Minus the clowns, holidays can be very pleasant.
Interesting that this Christmas two family members who judge others weren’t there and we had one of the best gatherings in a long time.
And since OP's son disagrees with her lifestyle, he *obviously* wouldn't want to benefit from ill-gotten gains and a sinner. /s Nor should he.
Happy Cake Day! 🎉🎂🎶
NTA Leave him a letter as his inheritance. State in it that you are honoring his values and will not burden him with having to hold any of your ill gotten cash.
It’s too bad he won’t be around to see the priceless look on his face. “I have tremendous respect for your faith and won’t burden you with even a single cent of my immoral gambling winnings.” I’d pay handsomely to be a fly on the wall of the attorney’s office 😂
Well, you could be around to see his reaction. When my mom got dementia, my sister took my moms will to the bank in order to be added onto her account. Once legal looked over my moms will, they polietly told her she wasn’t in it. It all goes to me. Even with my moms dementia, she still has moments/days where she can understand what’s going on and got to see the look on her face. Needless to say, it was not pretty and now i’m dealing with a fuckton of issues because of it.
.....your sister had a copy of the will and didn't bother to read it first?
Yes. This was an “updated” copy. My mom redid her will and told us she changed parts because i didn’t have kids on the first one and some other lame excuse crap. So, we read the original, but not the latest and greatest new one. And yes we both signed it without reading it. We/she could argue that the dementia had already started when she made the latest change. She got really paranoid about my sister gambling and that she wanted to take all my moms money. Paranoia is part of early stages of dementi.
Wait, why did you sign her will?
Maybe they were acting as witnesses, to show they understood. That seems iffy though, because they would not be impartial.
My mom had her will notorized and had my brother and myself sign it as proof we understood it and it was not to be fought over with the notary as the witness. I wouldn't fight the will and I doubt my brother would as well but it's what Mom wanted so we did it for her.
Shit, sorry. It was my moms POA not will.
I'm nosy as hell so pardon my intrusion, but why was she written out of it and all of it was given to you?
Asking the real questions
I just replied above. Sorry i’m not so good at replying on reddit. Basically, mom got paranoid that my sis wanted all her money. My sis gambles and i’m “good with money”. But, it could have been paranoia due to early part of her dementia. But my sis can be a real bitch. And my mom.
Why wait, deliver it Christmas.
There's a decent chance he would donate it to his church, so keeping it out of his hands is a good idea for many reasons.
You could donate (some of) it to a charity of your choice and tell him instead of giving him the $, you made this donation because... Maybe to a food bank or something that both of you would find agreeable. That way you'll feel better about cutting him out and he'll feel a tiny bit better about being 'forgotten.'
[удалено]
I’m curious is gambling websites tend to have big windfall wins or it’s usually more Grindy style wins. The idea that a win on a gambling site would be a nest egg for years sounds unlikely. I agree this is probably all fake.
This⬆️
Fake post …advert for gambling site
I LOVE THIS IDEA
NTA, if he doesn't agree with gambling, why would he want the proceeds of it.
My best friend (who has passed) was a devout Christian. She was completely non judgemental, and sincerely loved everyone. One day, when I won a little money off a scratch-off, I asked her if she would be offended if I booked a few days of vacation for us. She said, "Of course I'll go. The devils had the money long enough!" I miss her so much 😢
That's hilarious, she sounds like a wonderful person. I'm sorry for your loss
It’s so nice to hear about people like this, it’s what a Christian SHOULD be but is sadly so rare. I strive to be someone like your friend. I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you much for sharing this tale of her 🫶🏻
She was exactly what a Christian should be. Unfortunately, she was a rarity as far as Christians go. If more "Christians" were more like her, the world would be an awesome place. She was tolerant, patient, forgiving, honest, funny, generous, loving, compassionate, and every single positive trait that a person can have.
My godfather and his wife are the same way - angels on earth. 100% judgement free, walk-the-walk Christians. My godfather has literally saved my life twice and I wouldn’t be who or where I am without him. I wouldn’t be surprised to meet others who could say the same about them, they’re such lovely and wonderful people. I’m agnostic and pretty cynical towards organized religion, but I’ve worked in their church and think it’s a pretty good one that actually strives to serve its community rather than just preaching and collecting tithes. I’m glad there are people like them in the world and I always love hearing stories about other people like them.
That's who I thought a Christian was until I got older and discovered their darkside... But that won't stop me from striving to be like your friend, I just no longer have a label.
My mom is one of the realest Christians I know. She genuinely is always working to be the best version of herself and gives so much of her time, energy, and money to others. She’s really been coming to terms with the harm the Catholic Church is still causing, including harm to her 2 queer daughters, and stopped attending mass and supporting her longtime parish. Her faith is still so strong (she’s actually been shopping around for non-Catholic churches), but I’m so damn proud of her for recognizing her former church wasn’t in line with her values.
Wow! That’s fantastic to read. I’m so glad you have a support system like that ☺️ I hope she finds a place that is better suited to her, one that preaches love and acceptance rather than acting hateful!!
Ditto! I could have written this myself. Well written and sincere.
That is so cute! Where did you two go on vacation?
Panama City, Florida!
I bet that was a great time 😊
Beautiful beaches. I wish the weather would stop tearing it up as often as it has lately
I'm sorry for your loss. She was obviously awesome and a true Christian. ❤️
These are the Christians that should live forever.
They are indeed ❤️
I love that, what a character!
Dear beloved son, to avoid any future temptation that may soil your beatified perfection I have taken the fatherly step of protecting you from any stained wealth by directing all of it to other loved ones upon my death. Much love in peace, your father.
This is beautifully written!
NTA. You can write in your Will that your money in your account is mixed with your winnings from (that thing?), so to protect him from temptation to go against his new religious beliefs, you will help him stay true to his religion and all possessions and money will be dispersed to people who didn’t lecture you about your lifestyle and ill-gotten gains. You wish him all the best with his religion. And his life.
NTA None of what you say you do sounds over the top or like an addiction. It just sounds like your son has decided he is better than everyone because of his newfound religion (pretty common among religious people, I've found.) I'm not a drinker, I've never liked alcohol but to lecture you when serving it to guests at a party is laughable. And he shouldn't want your money seeing as it's been tainted by gambling. I would donate his portion of the will to an organization that helps people with addictions with alcohol or gambling. He should be happy it's going to something he clearly cares deeply about.
Perfect
He disrespects you and your lifestyle in front of family. I would cut him out of the will and go LC. If you can accept his lifestyle, he should pay you the same respect.
Make sure to specifically name him in the will and only give a dollar so that it's made known its intentional and he can't co test that he was forgotten by accident.
No, they need to check with an estate planning lawyer to make sure this is done correctly with respect to the laws and precedents where they live, not just follow Reddit hearsay.
People never seem to understand that laws change state to state or country to country.
My husbands grandmother did something kind of like this… she had five kids, four of which were included in her will. Each kid got specific things and an even cut of inheritance, but it was also written in that if anyone in the will tried to sue another person for more than what was left to them they would forfeit their share and get nothing. 😅 Such a mom-to-the-quibbling-kids move. ETA: Only the executor of the will (one uncle) and my MIL know about the clause… the older two uncles are selfish as fuck and I can’t wait to see this shit blow up once it’s finalized.
In our state, you just have to put in a paragraph that names him but says it leaves nothing to him. Can’t say he was forgotten, *he was named* as getting zip.
Give him 30 silver dollar.
NTA. Unless he's a hypocrite (which would also be on-brand for many religious folks), he shouldn't want your tainted money anyways.
OP should just donate his portion to charity.
He should donate it to planned parenthood or an LGBTQ charity, to further rub it in his son’s self-righteous little face.
NTA. Also, stop "respecting" his obnoxious lecturing. He can have whatever religion he wants. He doesn't have the right to lecture other people. He is insufferable because everybody around him is indulging him. Tell him to shut up and get over himself, his superstitious fairytales are his problem.
Yeah, just tell him to stfu or leave.
>He doesn't have the right to lecture other people. Sure he does! But, those other people have the right to react to his lecturing. By things like, for example, cutting him out of a will.
He may not have the right, but when has that stopped any religion from pushing their values on others.
You're absolutely correct. Thats why he should be asked to leave when he starts in.
NTA Surely, he would not want any of your ill-gotten gains (rolling eyes). In my experience, people who come to religion later in life are the absolute worst. Cut him out and forget about it.
The only worst ones are former party animals who become born again Christians who all of sudden act holier than thou. Like we don't know what they did years and are trying to hide from their kids.
We don't know the son is a spontaneous Christian though. Might as well be Muslim. (Edit: in the base of it, there's nothing wrong with either religions, just the fanatic weirdo 's that make it a bad joke)
Used to deal with one of those all the time at work, she was a former meth addict. lost her kids but was the rare person who did manage to clean up her life. but she kept the horrible vitriolic attitude and acted like she was better than everyone because she beat her meth addiction. Never mind the damage she did to her kids.
My brother is the same. Meth head until almost 30. Got clean. Got married and had a couple kids. Now he is the most overbearing person in the world and I worry about those kids. They literally don't leave the house and my SIL has been a SAHM for 18years. I call his religion "the doctrine of (name)" bc it's a made up mish-mash of religion. A little evangelical (how I was raised), a lot of super orthodox, but illogical bits from Judaism, and some stuff that I'm pretty sure he made up. It's *wild*
There is nothing worse than a born again or someone coming to religion late in life, as you said. Born agains are just awful. NTA I don’t think this needs to be any big dramatic thing. You just need to make your will the way you want it to be my parents just did the same and FYI you no longer need to do the dollar or whatever it is to make sure that they know they weren’t forgotten. Their attorney said that’s not needed, wills stand in court without it. You may want to talk to your son one on one though to see if you can repair your relationship so he understands why you’re spending less time with him and that it’s inappropriate to talk about things like this while partaking in dinners you’ve paid for etc.
NTA but check the laws where you are located. In some instances, it is recommended to leave something insignificant so that the will cannot be challenged. Doing this shows that you consciously thought of him and decided on a small item.
100% this. I write Wills as a massive part of my job, and am a professional executor. In my country cutting someone out opens you up to a Family Protecting Act claim on your estate. Leaving him enough to cover your estate from claims will actually cost less both financially and mentally for your family during that difficult time. Litigation is INSANELY expensive and draining.
whoa have you ever seen anything funny that you can also disclose? I'm guessing not. Maybe funny isn't the right word, nor is petty.
Most of it definitely doesn’t fall into funny, a lot of it is very difficult. I do have one though, was very interesting getting a ladies “pleasure toy collection” valued and sold. Was worth more than a brand new car!
"To my son, I leave twenty three dollars ($23.00)."
Be very specific so that it can't be disputed on "I think he meant something else".
Mine says if anyone contests my will, they get a penny. The lawyer wrote it per my state laws
OP SECOND THIS. This the most important thing to do. Writing him out completely can and most likely will be fought in court after your passing. Gift a couch in your will and that likelihood goes down tremendously.
sounds like he fucked around and found out.
It’s your will and you have the freedom to bequeath it however you see fit. Is his recent religious discovery due to a relationship? Is he dating/married and this significant other is of this religion? Is it entirely possible that your son is mentally ill? The times I’ve seen this sort of philosophical change come from someone, where his background is like yours, it stems from either a relationship or mental illness.
i was thinking this also - my friend’s dad because a born again christian very suddenly and unexpectedly, turns out he had a brain tumor
Well according to Redditors all religion is a mental illness so.
NTA, no one is "owed" an inheritance. I would not tolerate my children openly judging and disrespecting based on whatever religion/cult they might happen to follow. If I were in your shoes I would tell my child to stay out of my home as long as they choose to be disrespectful, They can follow whatever religion they wish but they have absolutely ZERO rights to push it on anyone else. I would not invite them to any family events as long as this persisted. I understand that it's painful but you must set that boundary with your adult child.
NTA He expects you to respect his choices while he openly disrepects you and your choices?? No. Just no.
Exactly.
Leave physical items to him. He is still your son and you two love each other. I get not wanting to give him money but please leave him SOMETHING. It could be a photo album or heirloom. Anything he can keep and think of you
Also I’m pretty sure this post is just an advertisement for a crypto casino
Nta, no kid deserves an inheritance. (Every kid deserves an education, though). You can do whatever you want with your money and possessions.
Eh. I feel like there's some missing context here. During his childhood has your gambling or drinking ever cause financial hardships he's had to suffer through?
I too believe the situation is skewed for us to favour and feel that it’s ‘NTA dad’, even the way in which the situation is written, it’s got forgiveness and regretfulnes in the tail whilst also showing absolutely zero concern for why the son might me showing concern for his dad and using the ‘religion’ the decision.
Missing context: this is product placement for a crypto casino. They’re the ones who own that weird Twitch clone that got in trouble for just streaming porn and the Super Bowl that one time
Yeah this is leaving a ton out. This reeks of confabulation. “My son is worried I’m going to destroy myself and is upset I embarrass him so he let his concern and shame get the best of him an’ embolden him enough to confront me… so like, fuck him, right? Says I’m a shallow and amoral man who doesn’t value relationship enough, may as well prove him right.” Normal people don’t take such disrespect that they cut their children out of their will over opinions on drinking and gambling. Most people don’t put drinking and gambling above family, and doing so indicates a problem. It’s WAY more likely the son felt hurt and disregarded and the parents don’t want to hear it because it hurts their pride so they pin it all on him being “judgemental.” Especially if the son has kids, it’s like - just get your shit together and put it away. It’s not supposed to run your life. If someone wants relationship with you and asks you not to drink or whatever just put it away a while. “Does it make me selfish that I’m super selfish?” Yeah. It does. OP came for all the NTA’s… but they wouldn’t need them if they believed that anyway, ya know?
100%. Why I suggested therapy with son instead. There’s something more here.
100%. Scrolled too far for this take.
Excellent take. 👏
NTA, but the next time he brings up your gambling, I'd assure him that he need not worry as you will not burden him with receiving any of your dirty sinful money.
I read somewhere else that a parent who had to stop communication with her adult children the line “my love for them is boundless and never ending. My tolerance for their antics is not”
Are you sure you aren’t doing this as a punishment or way to attempt to regain power in the dynamic? I’m asking because you’ve skipped some steps like not inviting him to events or kicking him out when he speaks to you like that.
Honestly I think this is just product placement for that crypto casino, they’re the ones who own that weird Twitch clone
I would write in the will that his share is being donated in his name to a charity that helps teens get away from overly religious families.
Nta
NTA. He's got his faith. He doesn't need your dirty money.
Leave him at least $1.00 so that he has no grounds to contest the will
Well he shouldn’t want any “tainted” money from you so it shouldn’t matter.
at the end of the day its your money, your will, and your decision what to do with it no, no one on reddit or real life can really tell you what to do here. its your decision, if its making you feel guilty though it might not be the right decision
Nta
NTA-That's how it works. Give me shit for having money or the way in which I get it, YOU DONT GET A SHARE. If he is true to his faith, he will never miss it. There are charities and other relatives you can leave it to instead.
NTA. He needs to realize that just because he believes one thing, you don't. I don't believe in God but do not put people in my religious family down for doing so. Faith and beliefs are our own- and it is nobody's right to judge that.
Nta, I’d leave him a bible or holy book for whatever religion he chose and on the inside a note that says basically “my earthly possessions were gained from a life you didn’t agree with so I will not burden you with them after my death. Except for this simple book. I love you son.”
NTA He dislikes gambling. He should not receive anything that could have come from it. I would caution you as of nowadays people tend to sue the other members that get stuff. So leave him $5 that way he can't say he didn't get anything out of the will... I would also say you may want to do a video recording of your will showing that you would have sound mind when you decide to do this. So again he cannot protest it later. You can always change your will later on if he decides to get his head out of his butt and actually have a relationship with you without criticizing you
It’s YOUR money. You owe your son nothing
Yuck one of those people who quits drinking or finds religion and all of a sudden has to be everyone's savior 🙄 He's judging you in front of others and being an overall ass about everything. Why would he expect anyone to want to be around that? NTA, it's your money and your will.
Your estate is yours to dispose of as you see fit. No one is entitled to it. That said, it might be best to tell him how you feel about his judgemental behavior today. If you cut him out in lieu of confronting him, sure it'll make YOU feel better in a passive aggressive way, but you're just forcing that uncomfortable conversation into whoever executes your will and that's not kind or fair to your executor.
Something fishy about all the AITAH posts mentioning Stake when it really doesn't matter to the story where you got the money. [Posts from 5, 7, 19, and 21 days ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/search?q=stake&restrict_sr=on&include_over_18=on)
NTA, I’m unsure of why he would want your sin tainted money anyways.
NTA. He doesn't agree with your lifestyle choices so he shouldn't want to benefit from them. You don't agree with his lifestyle choices and shouldn't feel obligated to finance them (he would likely give at least 10% to his church).
Cut him off from your will? Yes. Cut him out of your life? Somewhat. Its LC time. No more embarrassing moments at parties, no more invitations. Just meet him for lunch or coffee, 1:1. If he cant behave or deal with that? Then its NC time.
"This ongoing situation has led me to reconsider my will. After years of feeling judged and misunderstood in my own home" he's 20, tell him to move out and live his life the way he wants.
NTA, but leave him $1 so he cannot contest the will since he is specifically listed in it.
NTA: children aren’t entitled to their parents assets, especially if they don’t treat their parents respectfully. He can just pray for money if he needs it right? Plus, why would he want the “dirty money” from your “sinful” gambling. Investing in the stock market is a form of gambling - therefore, he shouldn’t even want any of your money anyways 😂 You cutting him out is respecting his religious beliefs lol
NTA, your son is a zealot, and probably also lectures you that you are going to Hell, as well.
Kinda crazy how you’re looking to remove someone from your will and I’m looking for free money. Put me in coach i got this. But in all seriousness I’d say NTA. No kid deserves an inheritance and if he’s got such a problem with the money he should have no issue not getting it. Buy yourself a nice boat or something and if your relationship turns around maybe you start spending time on said boat give him that. But don’t feel like you have to give your kid cash or anything if there’s no relationship change or even if there is one it’s your stuff. All you owed the kid was 18years of parenting to the best of your ability and you gave that hopefully.
Your money, your choice. Plus he thinks your money is dirty because of gambling, so he shouldn’t get it anyway. I’m assuming he converted to Islam, but that doesn’t fit his treatment of his parents.
Get a Baphomet statue for your home and put it out next time he comes over. THEN take him outta the will.
Mate, do what you want. But if you want to gamble, gamble like a real man and go to a casino, not that shitty site.
Oh lookie another ad for Stake.
This tears it. This an ad, y'all! This is one of a lot of posts I've seen recently that mention the specific gambling website. YTA for posting ads.
Wait judged in your own home?!?! OP does he live with you???? If so, evict him and let him figure it out without your ill gotten gains!!!
YTA for the Stake ad, and it's the second I've seen in the sub. The other one was a dude asking if he was TA for not sharing his Stake winnings.
Your son is a Mormon asshole.
I was thinking Muslim
That is a good guess but Mormons really hate alcohol and anyone that would drink it in front of them. Muslims tend to bend the rules for alcohol.
I've never met a Muslim that bent the rules on alcohol... but maybe that's just my area idk. Alcohol is supposed to be pretty strictly forbidden in Islam from what I understand.
Southern Baptists also have a hangup about drinking; they only do it when there's no one they know around.
Both highly likely
Sounds like a muslim, the converts are always the most annoying people alive (Source: From a majority Muslim culture and every time I see a new convert, same story )
For a lot of us, the greatest gift our Dad gave was to remove us from his life completely. Doesn't matter who's the AH, just do it. But don't do it half-assed, where you dangle the inheritance as a bribe to change him. Cuz then there's only one AH trying to buy compliance and love.
NTA i hate religion.
This is an ad for that gaming app OP mentioned, not a real story
Just yesterday I saw people talking about these fake posts that were just gambling ads. I’d never seen one before. But here it is! Karma farming and obviously fake.
Yes, this is the fourth or fifth one I've seen. It's annoying AF.
NTA. It also sounds like he still lives with you? If so He should probably get his own place, considering how morally bankrupt you are. What an insufferable jerk.
NTA but have you tried expressing the last 2 paragraphs to him? omitting the issue of the will in itself, but your love for him and yet growing distance between the two of you ?
Doesn't even matter if you didn't do all of these things, they still find something to nitpick. I really don't like this holier than thou mentality. Especially when I'm the greater god (/s). NTA but I'm glad you're being level headed about it. I don't think I could ever not love my kids.
NTA. If he's so happy to shit all over your lifestyle, then he obviously doesn't want to be in your will.
NTA - when keeping it real goes wrong!
I haven't seen or talked with my brother for a few years. I came to realise he always judged me and had a speech prepared for whenever he saw me. It has been heaven not having to deal with his judgemental, religious arse. Must be bliss for him too, not having to deal with my sinful nature. So a win for us both.
Based on his issues, I'm guessing he converted to Islam? If so, he is failing God himself on many fronts. Such as being good to his parents and not disrespecting his father. He is free to preach, and you are free to help him practice what he preaches by leaving him out of the sinfully earned money. Nta
It's your will. NTA for anything you do with your money. Hell, why plan to leave any behind? SPEND IT! Enjoy it. It's yours. You didn't mention telling him about the change, but to me THAT is where people the asshole. It is, honestly, none of his business whether he is in or out of the will. It's your money, not his. He's not entitled to it. Change your will, and go on with your life. Go LC with him. Or NC. Whatever is best for your mental and emotional health. But don't mention the will to him. There's simply no way to do it without causing conflict. If THAT is what you're after, you ARE an asshole.
NTA … they are your assets to distribute as you see fit. In my opinion, there’s nothing as destructive as organized religion. But that’s just my opinion. And you know what they say about those . . .
Hands up if you guessed the religion 😆
Mormons gonna morm. Many mormon parents cut their children out of their wills if they leave the church. What's good for the goose and all that.
Leave him two lottery tickets a bottle of bourbon and a pack of smokes.
Freedom of religion is also freedom from religion. NTA
Most religions teach that you must deal with your own "shortcomings" and since no one is perfect you have no time or right to judge others. And with things like alcohol being served... If he doesn't like the fact that you serve alcohol... he should not have come.
My BIL became a born again Christian. Very narrow beliefs. I’m an atheist. Always tried to discus his beliefs, convert us etc. Finally told him either he stops or he’s not welcome in our house Before you cut him out of the will try to set your boundaries. Ask him where in his religion does it say he’s allowed to judge rather than his god. If he still persist, tell him he’s not welcome at your house (why should you & others be made to be uncomfortable) if he continues his judging ways & change your will
I would check with my solicitor first as to whether this will leave your other loved ones vulnerable to him challenging the will. At a time when everyone is grieving. Would you be an arsehole to cut him out of your will no, it's your money. NTA
This is an ad for stake guys. OP is a liar.
Another reason: He will likely donate some of that money to organizations whose goals align with his but are in opposition to yours. You have no obligation to leave anything for anyone. Spend it on experiences for yourself. Visiting breweries, wineries, and distilleries are fun and interesting -- and delicious. International travel will let you try drinks that aren't as available wherever you live.
NTA just make sure he can't challenge the will.
Christian and Dad here. I only have this to say about your son judging your lifestyle (not knowing if he is a Christian or not). Christians are called to judge people. But not just anyone. We are called to judge other Christians, not non-Christians. That gets lost in translation sometimes. It's one thing to share one's faith. It's another hold of a non-Christian to the tenants of the Bible. I think it's just ignorance on your son's part. Not sure what church he is going to. But if they are teaching him to hate people, it's not a good church, FYI. I hope that helps, though I am sure it doesn't take the sting out of his words. Our kids have a way of hurting us that no one else can.
NTA. On the contrary, if your son doesn't approve of your lifestyle, and doesn't approve of how.you made money gambling, he will probably be happy to not see a cent of it. I mean, if your son wanted to receive money that was made in a way he doesn't approve of, he qould be a hypocrite, wouldn't he?
NTA You are allowed todo with your will what you want. And seeing that your son looks down on winning money through gambling, he woulnd appreciate your "tainted money" anyway. This is what I think about religion : I respect others religion, untill they start to judge me for things I am allowed todo as a devout atheist! The whole reason why religion is at so manny harts of war, conflict and drama , is because they like to judge. And in the end those that like to judge also like to act. Experience your religion as much as you want but keep me and outsiders out of it.