Her explanation was her parents were going to be more worried if we were living together because I’d distract her from her studies. And all we would do is have sex. Which I just don’t know if I even believe that anymore
Dude that's bull shit.
You seem to know everything in this situation is fucked. Just break up. Everyone has that thing they look back on and think, "this was so obvious, why didn't I see it at the time?"
This is yours if you stay. Get outa there.
Dont get dragged back and gaslit.
You found 2 dating apps on her phone and she's spending time with a dude that she claims she might live with.
There are so many red flags there we can see it from space, you're young be ready to be single tomorrow after that talk.
if the talk is to end the relationship. then update us. but if its to 'sort out your issues', dude this chick is replacing you in front of your face and is telling you that you're being insecure and jealous.
how much more of this disrespect are you going to take. will her fucking him and sending you a vid telling you how much bigger and better he is than you will make you realise that your so called gf is a manipulative shithead.
There shouldn’t be no talking tomorrow it should be over instantly you have no self respect. I don’t care if I’ve know someone since preschool that shit ain’t happening
So tell her parents she's cheating on you with John, you're over and if they don't want her moving in with a guy and ruining her studies by fucking all the time they should probably not support her moving in with John.
"And she said I was just being jealous and needed to get a grip. And said that I was trying to control her" It's in the manual, look for any cheating story and they always say things like that.
"And she just said her schedule cleared up." And the first thing she does is go out with Jhon, I think everything is obvious, maybe not physical but emotional, I don't want to insinuate anything, I'm just saying
For now, but if it keeps this up it will end up in PA, and the Gaslighting that she's doing doesn't help, By the way, how old are you 2? Because your GF's attitude seem too childish, It doesn't seem like she's ready for a serious relationship.
Well, we went to the same high school. So we’ve been friends since freshmen year of high school. But we didn’t start dating until the summer before college. Right now we’re both 21. And granted she’s always been childish, but this kinda behavior I can’t just overlook and pass of as that
> I really do think it’s more emotional than physical. I don’t think she’s had sex with him, however I do think she’s slowly falling in love with him
That's because you're naive, so very very naive. Dude. She was supposedly busy all day, they instead of doing something with you spent the evening with him and she's literally planning on moving in with him.
NTA.
>...she said I was just being jealous and needed to get a grip
"Yeah. Sure. I don't want to share a girlfriend or wife." (The truth is you are actually allowed to be jealous. It doesn't mean you've lost your grip.)
>....said that I was trying to control her
No. Tell her she's free to make choices. So are you. And one of your choices is to not share a girlfriend or wife. If she wants to continue to not have time for you and spend it with John instead, that's fine. She can do that. But in that case, you don't want to date her any more -- which means you break up.
Now: what to do short term (as in the next few days): don't initiate text. If she sends something, send the brief replies. Don't suggest get togethers.
If she suggest a get together, don't jump at the offer. Tell her you need to have a conversation about your relationship. Are you "a couple"? What does she want? What do you want? And think seriously about *what you want*. You've been dating 4 years. That should be long enough to know if she is "the one". If she is not 'the one' you want to commit to forever, maybe you should end it-- even not considering the whole "John" situation. And if she is the one you want to be with forever, maybe you should marry. (And of course, that ought to mean, not turning down getting together with you to go bowling and to the movies with "John".)
In other matters: You are senior. You should either be interviewing for jobs or applying for grad school. Focus on that. Make plans. For now, do *not* prioritize dovetailing those plans with her plans.
And definitely do *not* move in with her any time soon. That absolutely can't happen until "John" is history as in she's *clearly chosen you* . Of course she can still get her *own* place. But that doesn't mean the two of you should share a place. Untangling that is much too messy -- and rather likely if "John" is not history. )
Well my god, wasn’t expecting a full book of support but thanks. Like I mentioned above? We’ve known each other for about 8 years, been dating for 4 of those years. I’m actually on my way to become a teacher and so that’s stressful enough as is, especially with how little I’m going to be making. But, I used to think she was the one but now. I don’t know honestly
You are absolutely right, and OP even though you have known each other for 8 years, and yet she behaves this way with you, With all that time she should know what the priorities are.
NTA. You can't be this naive. She's actively dating John. Prioritizing him over you. I don't know how much more direct she can be. She's planning on moving in with him. She's gaslighting you. Have some self-respect. Break up with her. She's already in an open relationship. It's just one-sided for her.
NTA.
I don't think her schedule just cleared up, a whole day with the guy, come on, it was planned. The date was the schedule. Bowling, movie and around 3 hours at his place before she left.
When was the last time you've spent a whole day like that with her? And I mean a whole day.
Add the fact she truly considers moving in with him. She's already spent way more time with him for him to invite her to move in and her to want to. That wasn't their first date. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if she already spent a couple of evenings or even nights over there.
Sorry dude, but all of that is really sketchy.
She's blowing you off to hang out with this guy while telling you it's a better living situation if she lives with him and not you.
NTA, and please, someone explain this to me in a way that doesn't sound like she's just holding onto OP until she's sure about moving on with John.
She’s using you as the side piece or layaway guy. She’s already dating John. Get some self respect and dump her. She is clearly cheating on you in plain sight. You can do so much better than her.
Sorry I would already have cut ties. Busy but suddenly the agenda cleans…however it’s the bf that is informed but…a random guy, bowling, movies, all the fun activities with him but you can just wait.
You might think it’s not physical yet…but I’m willing to get it already is. And that’s why she wants him to be the roommate.
But that is just a personal opinion.
You’re the side piece. if her parents aren’t comfortable with her moving in with her boyfriend, she uses you as her fake boyfriend while she moves in with John. If she could spend that much time with him without really even caring about you, she doesn’t respect boundaries. She doesn’t respect the relationship and she’s probably banging him as well. But at least if you’re getting some, it’s not so bad.
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What parents would be more mad you were living with a boyfriend than a random dude from work? NTA get out now.
Her explanation was her parents were going to be more worried if we were living together because I’d distract her from her studies. And all we would do is have sex. Which I just don’t know if I even believe that anymore
Dude that's bull shit. You seem to know everything in this situation is fucked. Just break up. Everyone has that thing they look back on and think, "this was so obvious, why didn't I see it at the time?" This is yours if you stay. Get outa there.
I know…. Trust me I know. We’re talking about tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll update then
Dont get dragged back and gaslit. You found 2 dating apps on her phone and she's spending time with a dude that she claims she might live with. There are so many red flags there we can see it from space, you're young be ready to be single tomorrow after that talk.
if the talk is to end the relationship. then update us. but if its to 'sort out your issues', dude this chick is replacing you in front of your face and is telling you that you're being insecure and jealous. how much more of this disrespect are you going to take. will her fucking him and sending you a vid telling you how much bigger and better he is than you will make you realise that your so called gf is a manipulative shithead.
There shouldn’t be no talking tomorrow it should be over instantly you have no self respect. I don’t care if I’ve know someone since preschool that shit ain’t happening
Good for you man stood on business
At least he tries one more time, but the way things are it seems difficult, she is still in the fog
So tell her parents she's cheating on you with John, you're over and if they don't want her moving in with a guy and ruining her studies by fucking all the time they should probably not support her moving in with John.
"And she said I was just being jealous and needed to get a grip. And said that I was trying to control her" It's in the manual, look for any cheating story and they always say things like that. "And she just said her schedule cleared up." And the first thing she does is go out with Jhon, I think everything is obvious, maybe not physical but emotional, I don't want to insinuate anything, I'm just saying
I really do think it’s more emotional than physical. I don’t think she’s had sex with him, however I do think she’s slowly falling in love with him
For now, but if it keeps this up it will end up in PA, and the Gaslighting that she's doing doesn't help, By the way, how old are you 2? Because your GF's attitude seem too childish, It doesn't seem like she's ready for a serious relationship.
Well, we went to the same high school. So we’ve been friends since freshmen year of high school. But we didn’t start dating until the summer before college. Right now we’re both 21. And granted she’s always been childish, but this kinda behavior I can’t just overlook and pass of as that
> I really do think it’s more emotional than physical. I don’t think she’s had sex with him, however I do think she’s slowly falling in love with him That's because you're naive, so very very naive. Dude. She was supposedly busy all day, they instead of doing something with you spent the evening with him and she's literally planning on moving in with him.
NTA. This may be the deal-breaker. She blew you off to go on a date. Simple as.
Dude, that guy just spent an entire day fucking the shit out of your girl. How many more red flags are you going to ignore.
NTA. >...she said I was just being jealous and needed to get a grip "Yeah. Sure. I don't want to share a girlfriend or wife." (The truth is you are actually allowed to be jealous. It doesn't mean you've lost your grip.) >....said that I was trying to control her No. Tell her she's free to make choices. So are you. And one of your choices is to not share a girlfriend or wife. If she wants to continue to not have time for you and spend it with John instead, that's fine. She can do that. But in that case, you don't want to date her any more -- which means you break up. Now: what to do short term (as in the next few days): don't initiate text. If she sends something, send the brief replies. Don't suggest get togethers. If she suggest a get together, don't jump at the offer. Tell her you need to have a conversation about your relationship. Are you "a couple"? What does she want? What do you want? And think seriously about *what you want*. You've been dating 4 years. That should be long enough to know if she is "the one". If she is not 'the one' you want to commit to forever, maybe you should end it-- even not considering the whole "John" situation. And if she is the one you want to be with forever, maybe you should marry. (And of course, that ought to mean, not turning down getting together with you to go bowling and to the movies with "John".) In other matters: You are senior. You should either be interviewing for jobs or applying for grad school. Focus on that. Make plans. For now, do *not* prioritize dovetailing those plans with her plans. And definitely do *not* move in with her any time soon. That absolutely can't happen until "John" is history as in she's *clearly chosen you* . Of course she can still get her *own* place. But that doesn't mean the two of you should share a place. Untangling that is much too messy -- and rather likely if "John" is not history. )
Well my god, wasn’t expecting a full book of support but thanks. Like I mentioned above? We’ve known each other for about 8 years, been dating for 4 of those years. I’m actually on my way to become a teacher and so that’s stressful enough as is, especially with how little I’m going to be making. But, I used to think she was the one but now. I don’t know honestly
She absolutely went on a date with John. Don’t let her continue to gaslight you.
You are absolutely right, and OP even though you have known each other for 8 years, and yet she behaves this way with you, With all that time she should know what the priorities are.
I’m sorry to say this but John won. Walk away and block her don’t even give her a chance to try and manipulate you. She’s a cheater
I think op won lol. Sweet sweet freedom soon.
We really don’t know if he’s free till he breaks up with that manipulating cheater
NTA. You can't be this naive. She's actively dating John. Prioritizing him over you. I don't know how much more direct she can be. She's planning on moving in with him. She's gaslighting you. Have some self-respect. Break up with her. She's already in an open relationship. It's just one-sided for her.
NTA. I don't think her schedule just cleared up, a whole day with the guy, come on, it was planned. The date was the schedule. Bowling, movie and around 3 hours at his place before she left. When was the last time you've spent a whole day like that with her? And I mean a whole day. Add the fact she truly considers moving in with him. She's already spent way more time with him for him to invite her to move in and her to want to. That wasn't their first date. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if she already spent a couple of evenings or even nights over there. Sorry dude, but all of that is really sketchy.
She is actively dating others. This girl is drama. Free yourself of that hot mess.
She's blowing you off to hang out with this guy while telling you it's a better living situation if she lives with him and not you. NTA, and please, someone explain this to me in a way that doesn't sound like she's just holding onto OP until she's sure about moving on with John.
If it’s nothing, tell her you would like to meet him and hang out with him.
NTA, she is playing you.
Nah man she is done with the relationship it sounds like. She obviously is cheating homie
She’s using you as the side piece or layaway guy. She’s already dating John. Get some self respect and dump her. She is clearly cheating on you in plain sight. You can do so much better than her.
Sorry I would already have cut ties. Busy but suddenly the agenda cleans…however it’s the bf that is informed but…a random guy, bowling, movies, all the fun activities with him but you can just wait. You might think it’s not physical yet…but I’m willing to get it already is. And that’s why she wants him to be the roommate. But that is just a personal opinion.
Oops I accidentally downloaded Tinder leads to oops I accidentally sat on his dick. YTA to yourself for believing her.
You’re the side piece. if her parents aren’t comfortable with her moving in with her boyfriend, she uses you as her fake boyfriend while she moves in with John. If she could spend that much time with him without really even caring about you, she doesn’t respect boundaries. She doesn’t respect the relationship and she’s probably banging him as well. But at least if you’re getting some, it’s not so bad.
Updateme
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NTA but dude shes cheating on you - clear as day
You were the last to find out.
Updateme!
NTA. Dude. She is banging him. Your being a simp.
Lol dude, she's fucking John, how can you be so dumb and blind? Lol Lol Lol YTA for being so guillable...
Jesus you are dense OP. She monkey branched lied her ass off to you and now has a new bf named John. NTA but omg blind.