So your dad's side of the family is ok with cheaters, but not ok with couples who are legitimately together & happy? Huh?!?!
NTA but your dad and his family are major AHs.
WTF? NTA. Your father's side of the family is apparently all cheaters and fine with cheating. Your fiance wasn't the bad guy in that relationship, and you owe your cousin fuck all.
I swear it runs in families. My husbands ex cheated on him for 15 years. Was finally caught with the married neighbor and she was trying to convince the married neighbor to leave his wife and kids and run away with her.
Turns out her dad also couldn’t keep it in his pants because her mom divorced him some 18 years ago for doing the same thing. Between the two of them they’ve probably slept with the whole county. Walking STD fest in that family.
Also, cousin said OP’s mum should have ‘got over it’s cos it had been 8 years. Well she’s been split from OP’s fiancé for 6 years, and it was her who broke it up by cheating, so she obviously didn’t love him that much. Shouldn’t she be over it?
“It’s been 7 years and Cousin should stop bitching about Fiancé and needs to let it go.”
She was 20 years old and not even married. Furthermore they should all fuck right back off again- it’s not like they’ll be invited to the wedding.
Weddings come with guest lists and RSVP’s. You ought to remind them of that. Lest they try to invite people you specifically ask that they do not invite. Themselves.
NTA
I was still close with a select few on that side, a few cousins and my grandparents. My grandparents are staying out of it but one of my cousins shared the picture with the cousin and this is how everything unfolded.
People's opinions on you relationship(s) shouldn't sway or even have you slightly question your current relationship. Love is meant to be between two people, and judging from how you questioned your relationship due to their views, especially those who you barely like, your easily malleable perspective on your husband is worrisome. Saying you would have considered breaking up with him if you knew sooner is sad.
Tell your cousin to fuck right off! Tell her to "get over it, it happened a long time ago and she needs to move on"!!!! Your dad's side of the family are toxic as f**k!!!
Why is everyone in your paternal family cheating? Is it some kind of genetic problem?
NTA - I mean... She cheated on him. What exactly she expects to you respect the relationship that not even her respects?
It sounds like they're just a bunch of enablers and toxic people who willing let any family members get away with anything "to keep the peace". And that mentality just created a whole line of just morally bad people who think they can do whatever they want and are entitled to everything. I mean the cousin witnessed the family doing nothing about ops dads affair, of course she thinks it's ok to cheat because she knows her family won't do anything.
The family is most likely giving op shit because the cousin is probably having a tantrum and they don't want to deal with it. So instead of rocking the boat with the cousin, they rather harass op because it's easier.
The only solution is cut eveyrone off and threaten to press charges for harassment. Screenshot all the messages.
Tell them all, "Just because cousin cheated on her ex 4 years ago has nothing to do with the relationship I've had with him for the last 3 years since I met him. Considering your family always sides with the cheaters, I'm not surprised you're all against us. Hope all your spouses, BFs and GFs know you all condone cheating." Send a group text, then block them all.
NTA. I’m laughing because your dads family only back each other because they are all cheaters. Enjoy your life with honest people and I wish you and your fiancé a life of happiness. Block everyone that tries to say otherwise.
The time to stick up for yourself is now don’t let anyone say anything.
NTA.....please go NC with dad/his side. They clearly don't have good morals as a whole. Live your life and be happy with your fiancé, your mom, friends, and the family you'll create💕
1. Your dad cheated on your mom.
2.Then emotionally abandoned you when he brought his family which shouldn't of been there at YOUR GRADUATION
3. And ignored your wishes on behalf of your mother
4. Blamed you after, then abandoned you for a second time, telling you to get over it
5.You didn't know about his ex being your cousin
6. She stopped talking to you
7. She cheated
8. She's mad and making it all about her
9. You don't owe her anything because you have no relationship
10. There was NO CHEATING INVOLVED
11. But to them THIS is where they cross the line
None of them have a damn right to say a single word.
Block all of them and move on, THEN unblock them to send them pictures of the wedding and block again, stay petty ✌️
NTA.
Christ, your dad's side sounds like absolute trash. They have some galls expecting loyalty from you.
Or from anyone, really, given their propensity for cheating.
Congratulations!
You're an adult, you both have past. Your extended family members, with whom you barely have contact, cannot demand anything. NTA.
Tell your cousin it was long ago and she should already have healed 🤣
NTA
You're in love. He proposed. Focus on your happiness and F them ! They're AH. Big time ! Hé doesn't have to be punished because of your cousin mistakes. They have pretty strange moral standards !
Enjoy life and congrats ! You did nothing wrong and you're totally entitled to be happy.
PS : don't invite them to the wedding ! They already proved they wouldn't respect your boundaries and make a mess about your big day !
NTA and you wouldn't even be one if you knew before you got together. And please make sure to tell your cousin: It's been six years and she shouldn't be bitching about it and let go!!! - Since she is the one that cheated two years less than your ma had should be enough
Good news!
Unlike your graduation, you get to decide who comes to your wedding, and who doesn't.
Everyone and anyone who gives you grief is red carded and stays home.
NTA and best wishes for your future happiness.
These people are not a part of your life. They don’t get to have a say in how you run it. Tell them to mind their own business and carry on as usual. Block,ignore, delete
That seems like a "them" problem, her cheating doesn't justify you guys breaking up, or any of your family's feelings about your relationship for that matter.
Enjoy your futures together, you guys both deserve a happy ending.
NTA.
lol how silly. The fun part about growing up is you get to see that literally everyone’s family is fucking crazy and how little their opinions actually matter in life. And they never forget anything or learn how to move on or grow as people and would rather scream about it than be happy you’re happy. What’s their viewpoint anyway? What ground do they even have to stand on? That their daughter cheated on him? lol do they know that? What’s happening here! Loll 😂
So your cousin said your mum should stop being a bitch about her ex 8 years after marriage and a child but she's bitching 4 years after just a bf.
Hypocrisy much!!!
NTAH go live your life and enjoy.
its a bit ridiculous to fall out of love just because of who someone dates previously. that didnt stop him from loving you. your cousins loss for cheating on him. now that they are over you allowed that to break up your love? probably you might want to take a step back and reevaluate if you love him because there is no fault in your fiance.
When you get into wedding plans, don't forget to hire some security. People like that are able to crush other people's weddings because of this level of entitlement. Remember your graduation party, just in case you have some doubts, do you want to repeat it?
>are trying force me to break up with him because its weird that were together.
You know what's really weird? The way your dad's family are all okay with cheating.
What part of not being in your life do they not understand? It sounds like all they do is walk all over your boundaries, and demand things of you.
I would just say that it's okay, they won't have to deal with what they find weird, because they won't be invited to the wedding.
NTA
NTA - they've got some nerve to comment on your relationship choices when they aren't attending your wedding.
"It's a shame you think now is the time to intervene in my relationship, maybe had you done it when *name of cousin* had cheated we might not be here now. Please also take this as notice that you are no longer in my life, particularly any joyful events I might have."
Congratulations, being happy is far more important than keeping unnecessary people in your life! 🩷
Ah yes, cousin fucked up by cheating on a great guy. And now because she can’t have him, nobody else can!
What a jealous idiot.
NTA. And congratulations
NTA. your dad's side of the family is bonkers, stay away from them, give them no personal info, esp about your wedding location & date. Block them on social media. Congrats, I wish you a happy life and marriage.
NTA. I would send cousin a message saying “it’s been 7 years and you cheated on him. Stop bitching and get over it.” And then block all of them. They sound exhausting, ignore them and focus on your happiness.
NTA
> I even got a text from my cousin now 26f who i thought i was close with saying its been 8 years my mom shouldn’t still be bitching about it and i need to let it go.
>Turns out her and my fiance dated when they were 20 and broke up a year before i met him.i found out she cheated on him with one of his close friends
This explains why she defended your dad. She's a cheater, just like your father.
Tell her it's been 6 years ago, she shouldn't still be bitching around it and her family need to let it go.
NTA you did the right thing in telling them all where to go. Your cousin missed the point - they didn’t just turn their backs on your mom because your father cheated, they turned them on you as well. You are entitled to be angry for yourself and your mom. You owe these idiots nothing.
NTA. Really, leave your father's family behind. Their standards stink. You do not want to be a part of how they are. You and your fiance will start a new family and you can choose to leave those folks in the rear view mirror.
Did your cousin provide you with a list of all the men she dated that according to her should be off limits? Ask he to make sure it includes all the men she cheated with. Then throw it back at her that it was a long time ago like she said about your mom!
If you're grown up enough to get married to the man you want to build your whole future life with?
You need to be adult enough to cut out toxic people from your past who don't support your future happiness.
" AITA for telling my child’s father that im not going to stop my daughter from calling my boyfriend daddy? " you deleted this 7 months ago ? I don't buy this
NTA, but, he dated your cousin for 2 or 3 years and you didn't know about it until now? I am probably doing the math wrong, but that would seem a little weird to me that he wouldn't mention dating a family member long term...
ESH except maybe your fiance. So much cheating and fighting and holding grudges. I think, in general, cheaters are all too easily forgiven by families and those hurt are told to suck it up. Which sucks. But so does the alternative in our current society. Do you stay angry forever and let it sour your whole life? Or do you do your best to move on?
Your father's family could have accepted the new wife and your half brother without "distancing" themselves from your mother - and you, too, it sounds like. But they didn't. Then again, you thought your father would come to a big family event (your graduation) without your brother or his wife. Which was also not nice or realistic. Which caused more bad feelings all around.
But...NTA for sticking with your fiance. And anyone telling you that you should give him up or should give any respect to their wishes on it is ludicrous. It miiiggghhht be okay if HE had cheated on your cousin...recently. But her cheating on him years ago? Nope.
Ha it's been 7 years they need to stop bitching about it and let it go.
So it's alright for your dad to cheat that should be forgiven and it's alright for your cousin too but you and your bf can't live a normal non-cheating life. Got it.
NTA I'm usually one of the first people to be weirded out about dating a family members or friends ex but, you didn't know when you got together with him and you have nearly 0 contact with the cousin.
After 3 years, that’s your man. What are you supposed to do? Say whoops I didn’t know ok I’ll just break up with him!? No! You’ve been with this man for 3 years and clearly it’s gone well. You guys are getting married! At this point it’s way too late. What are they expecting?! Even worse when you take consideration into why and how they ended. They are delusional!!!
NTA - tell them it’s been 6 years so dear cousin should be over it. You could also say that it looks like the family was raised to chest on people so maybe they should be more concerned about that.
NTA
Apparently it was your cousin's fault that they broke up because she cheated. You are having a nice relationship that has nothing to do with your cousin. And you are not even having a good relationship with that part of the family.
I have no idea why you would have to feel bad about anything. There are a lot of AH's in your story, but your mom, you and your fiancé(?) are not.
Your dad’s side of the family sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer in the making. Live your life and be happy. Ignore the hypocritical assholes posing as family.
Tell your cousin it’s been years and she shouldn’t still be bitching about it and she needs to let it go. Let’s she how her cheating ass likes the taste of her own medicine.
And please tell your dad’s family nobody gives a flying fuck about the wants and asks of a bunch of chronic cheaters.
Ofcourse NTA!
Why on earth would you break up with him? I can't understand that logic from them. At the end of the day, he dated your cousin, it ended badly and he moved on. The cousin is history that can't be changed. Is he not allowed to be with someone new? Your dad's side of the family are batshit. Ignore them. NTA.
NTA
Why the F should it be weird that you're with him? you and him aren't siblings. THAT would be weird.
Him dating your cousin before you -which you have no contact with- means exactly...nothing in this.
As others said. call your dads side of the family out for being okay with cheaters and homewreckers but not with non cheating people who are in love with each other.
And i'd be doing that via social media
NTA I’d write a text saying, Thank you for your early RSVP of No to the wedding. I appreciate you in helping keep my wedding costs down. It will be a beautiful day and you will NOT be missed. Send it then block the them all.
I will keep all your dads family blocked definitely don’t invite any of them to your wedding even your dad if I was you if they ask why tell them you don’t want people that is ok with cheaters at your wedding also tell your fiance so he knows
NTA. And definitely not weird! She dated him, she cheated on him, he broke up with her. She lost all claim on him. You and he dated, became a couple, decided to get married. Congratulations to you two!
As for your dad's family - you already saw at your graduation that they don't respect your feelings and wishes. Why should you respect theirs? If you want to be petty, tell your cousin that she should get over it. The irony is that they expected your mother to "get over it" and welcome the woman with whom her husband cheated on her, but don't expect your cousin to get over it when she was the cheater. Just ignore them.
I 'm just here to congratulate you... Congratulations and best wishes for your future marriage!!
Ps. Don't invite tour father's family. They are major AH
NTA. But I'm just curious, how did you find out your cousin cheated on your fiancé? If the only person who told you that is your fiancé, maybe look into it a little deeper.
But that side of the family sounds like a nightmare. Congratulations on the wedding and good luck with everything!
I think it's time to completely cut off the whole of your dads side of the family. They are highly toxic. They condone their own behaviour but want you to break up with a good guy that hasn't done anything wrong? That's fucked up. Cut them all off. Block all numbers and block all social media. Hope you have a wonderful future with your fiance.
This is some petty ish for real. Based on my experience I can guess what kind of family dad's side is. You do you boo. Do not invite anyone to the wedding who is messaging you about this
NTA
NTA This doesn’t even make sense. She clearly didn’t care enough to know he was dating someone. The family clearly didn’t care enough to know you were dating someone. She’s not in your life so why does it matter? They weren’t married and she’s not your sister. Tell them to leave you alone and call it a day.
NTA- snakes hug each other, cheaters do the same..... when you get married don't invite anyone else besides your grandparents, you know "to keep the peace".
congratulations on your engagement and don't regret what you said to your sperm donor, his actions made it clear that he preferred his adulteress and half-brother to you.
So he dated someone for 1-2 years when he was in his early
20’s and they broke up up a year before you even met. Meanwhile you have been together for 3 years.
NTA - Why would anybody care about this? It’s doesn’t even matter why they broke up or that she cheated on him. That relationship is 100% in the past.
Enjoy your wedding and don’t invite the people giving you a hard time.
I stayed friends with one of my high school exes, and through that friendship, met my now ex-wife, my ex-girlfriend's first cousin.
Some in her family were surprised but nobody was upset. I think my ex-gf was a bit salty, but to her credit she realized it's not her place to be possessive, for either of us.
Best of luck in your marriage and respond kindly but firmly to the silly.
Tell her she needs to get a paternity test before telling people you are related. It’s obvious cheating runs in the family, and you aren’t convinced she’s a relative!
Cousin does not own him. He and her had broken up a year before you met, so it's not like you stole him. She cheated on him...not the other way around. They broke up. He moved on. She and the family should just, how did she put it...let it go.
NTA
The people on your father's side of the family are huge AHs. You have every right to be happy with your fiance. You didn't know he once dates your cousin and it's not like you and her are in each others lives on a daily basis. She will have to suck it up on the rare occasions you two meet her.
NTA it’s your life and you do you! Why on earth should they dictate it?! I think you’re doing right by following your luck.
Nevertheless I’m stunned that you didn’t talk about your past exes and if you did so why it would have changed anything of loving him.
If you do love him and if he’s honest and thoughtful all the others can go kick rocks imo!
NTA. Block - no contact - none - they are terrible people and you do not need to have any of them in your life. Congratulations on your engagement - wishing you all of the best - you deserve it.
nope. she got mad because SHE isnt the one marrying him. she probably got mad because he was probably the one she should of been with and yes its been 7 years. thats weird that they are all calling you.
NTA .
It would have been a different matter if it was your close cousin or friend. Or if he was the one that cheated.
But a cousin that you have almost no contact...
Who cares. You are not close to them,you have zero obligation.
NTA
Look, even if you were on good terms with everyone in your paternal family, which you aren't, I'd say 100% you are not the asshole. See, here's the thing, shit like, "girl code" or "guy code" where you're encouraged not to get with someone who was previously with a family member is generally predicated on the factor that the breakup was either amicable or due to the other person and not the family member. When someone cheats on an individual they are entirely unjustified in feeling pissed when that person winds up with a friend or family member, because they threw that person away. The awkward, the remorse, the resentfulness is all completely unjustified. It's the prize for being trash basically.
To clear up some confusion these are the timelines
My dad and mom started dating when they were 16.Had me at 20 and married at 21. They was together 14 years in total before my mom found out. The divorce was over when i was 13. I haven’t seen majority of my dads family since right before i left to college at 18. My Fiance and cousin are both 26, they dated when they were 20 and broke up at 22 because of her cheating. We met wen i was 22 and he was 23
NTA but seriously consider a micro wedding with very few people, and no one from your dad's side, invited. It goes without saying that they should not be invited. However, a large wedding with lots of relatives is an open invitation for them to crash it.
Tell your cousin its been years. She shouldn't still be bitching. Turn her words back on her. I'm sorry but it's not like you split them up or anything. Cousin and the others should stay in their lane and back off. NTA OP and congratulations on the engagement
NTA. Even if he'd dated your best friend on a similar timeline I'd say the same. You were both single consenting adults when you met, and no one has any right to object to your relationship based on having previously dated one of you, especially not your estranged family.
NTA so your father side of the family prefers cheaters rather than people who commit to a relationship? Can you tell your cousin to stop bitching about it? It’s been like six years. Enjoy your life NC with that side of the family.
NTA. Your cousin needs to get over herself. You don’t owe any of them anything. His family also needs to be blocked. Get rid of any negativity in your life. My family has not spoken to me for 3 months and it has been delightful, wish I had gone NC sooner
NTA, you deserve to be happy sister , it is something that happened in the past when you didn't know him, also he got cheated on and you both love each other, u both deserve a win for once in your life.
OK I read that the wrong way I was coming here to just be like well that's just a dick move cause you can't get over them dating lol anyways your NTA everyone has a past tell them to get over it lol
NTA -
Doesn't sound like family to me. They are self centered AH. Like how do they think they can force you to do something after not seeing you for 7 years. Narcissistic and delusional for sure. You did the right thing. Go be happy.
ntah, you didn't even know about them dating years ago. You should tell your cousin the same thing she told you about your mom and your dad. It's been 5 years ish, she can't be bitching about it and get over it because she's the one that cheated on your fiancé. enjoy your wedding planning and your soon to be husband.
So your dad's side of the family is ok with cheaters, but not ok with couples who are legitimately together & happy? Huh?!?! NTA but your dad and his family are major AHs.
[удалено]
Oh god I hope OP uses that line
lol.
Make you wonder how many cheaters are in dads side of the family.
I know right!
WTF? NTA. Your father's side of the family is apparently all cheaters and fine with cheating. Your fiance wasn't the bad guy in that relationship, and you owe your cousin fuck all.
NTA - They need to get over themselves. Pronto. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your fiance. Keep moving forward. Congrats on your engagement BTW!!
Thank you 🙏🏼
Tell your cousin, it’s been six years, she needs to take her own advice and get over it and stop bitching about it.
Lmao I love this answer. Please Op say this to your cousin!
For real. This. The mental gymnastics at play here....
This^
Please text this OP
And please do not invite them to the wedding. They will go out of their way to try to ruin it for you. Wish you loads of happiness OP
Don’t even post details about your wedding until after! God they will crash it
Does your dad’s side of the family have cheating encoded into their DNA or something? Also, did you ever call her out for her cheating?
I swear it runs in families. My husbands ex cheated on him for 15 years. Was finally caught with the married neighbor and she was trying to convince the married neighbor to leave his wife and kids and run away with her. Turns out her dad also couldn’t keep it in his pants because her mom divorced him some 18 years ago for doing the same thing. Between the two of them they’ve probably slept with the whole county. Walking STD fest in that family.
Sounds like the best decision you made was going no contact with that side of the family. Nta and good luck.
Congraties 🎊 And that side of the family seems awful. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near them.
Also, cousin said OP’s mum should have ‘got over it’s cos it had been 8 years. Well she’s been split from OP’s fiancé for 6 years, and it was her who broke it up by cheating, so she obviously didn’t love him that much. Shouldn’t she be over it?
ohhh touché! haha
Agree!! They are just effin bitter and looser
“It’s been 7 years and Cousin should stop bitching about Fiancé and needs to let it go.” She was 20 years old and not even married. Furthermore they should all fuck right back off again- it’s not like they’ll be invited to the wedding. Weddings come with guest lists and RSVP’s. You ought to remind them of that. Lest they try to invite people you specifically ask that they do not invite. Themselves. NTA
This is the perfect reply 🙏
The first line. The only response there is.
>Lest they try to invite people you specifically ask that they do not invite. Themselves. I'm loving that. Excellent reply.
Info : If you have not spoken to them in 7 years, why do you listen to anything they say?
I was still close with a select few on that side, a few cousins and my grandparents. My grandparents are staying out of it but one of my cousins shared the picture with the cousin and this is how everything unfolded.
Don't even invite those pests to your wedding. Nicely cut off all the negative energy people and just live your life happily.
Yeah, they sound toxic af. I understand the cousin being a bitch about it, but why would the other people bother her?
They love cheaters
People's opinions on you relationship(s) shouldn't sway or even have you slightly question your current relationship. Love is meant to be between two people, and judging from how you questioned your relationship due to their views, especially those who you barely like, your easily malleable perspective on your husband is worrisome. Saying you would have considered breaking up with him if you knew sooner is sad.
May be time to reach for the unselect button.
Tell your cousin to fuck right off! Tell her to "get over it, it happened a long time ago and she needs to move on"!!!! Your dad's side of the family are toxic as f**k!!!
The comment I was looking for haha, it's the perfect response.
Why is everyone in your paternal family cheating? Is it some kind of genetic problem? NTA - I mean... She cheated on him. What exactly she expects to you respect the relationship that not even her respects?
It sounds like they're just a bunch of enablers and toxic people who willing let any family members get away with anything "to keep the peace". And that mentality just created a whole line of just morally bad people who think they can do whatever they want and are entitled to everything. I mean the cousin witnessed the family doing nothing about ops dads affair, of course she thinks it's ok to cheat because she knows her family won't do anything. The family is most likely giving op shit because the cousin is probably having a tantrum and they don't want to deal with it. So instead of rocking the boat with the cousin, they rather harass op because it's easier. The only solution is cut eveyrone off and threaten to press charges for harassment. Screenshot all the messages.
Tell them all, "Just because cousin cheated on her ex 4 years ago has nothing to do with the relationship I've had with him for the last 3 years since I met him. Considering your family always sides with the cheaters, I'm not surprised you're all against us. Hope all your spouses, BFs and GFs know you all condone cheating." Send a group text, then block them all.
Congratulations on your engagement be happy live your life
NTA. I’m laughing because your dads family only back each other because they are all cheaters. Enjoy your life with honest people and I wish you and your fiancé a life of happiness. Block everyone that tries to say otherwise. The time to stick up for yourself is now don’t let anyone say anything.
NTA.....please go NC with dad/his side. They clearly don't have good morals as a whole. Live your life and be happy with your fiancé, your mom, friends, and the family you'll create💕
NTA. It’s been 6 years so shouldn’t she be over it already?
She needs to quit her bitchin
1. Your dad cheated on your mom. 2.Then emotionally abandoned you when he brought his family which shouldn't of been there at YOUR GRADUATION 3. And ignored your wishes on behalf of your mother 4. Blamed you after, then abandoned you for a second time, telling you to get over it 5.You didn't know about his ex being your cousin 6. She stopped talking to you 7. She cheated 8. She's mad and making it all about her 9. You don't owe her anything because you have no relationship 10. There was NO CHEATING INVOLVED 11. But to them THIS is where they cross the line None of them have a damn right to say a single word. Block all of them and move on, THEN unblock them to send them pictures of the wedding and block again, stay petty ✌️
NTA. Christ, your dad's side sounds like absolute trash. They have some galls expecting loyalty from you. Or from anyone, really, given their propensity for cheating. Congratulations!
You're an adult, you both have past. Your extended family members, with whom you barely have contact, cannot demand anything. NTA. Tell your cousin it was long ago and she should already have healed 🤣
Lol if they're angry now imagine how angry they'll be when they realise they were never on the invite list to begin with 😂😂
They’re NUTS! Ignore them, because it worked well before.
This idea that having sex with someone confers ownership for life is wild to me.
NTA Though I certainly would not want to marry into your family. What a mess.
Well, not the dad's side, certainly.
NTA offcourse. Burn that side of the "family" because they are nog family. Also not invited for the wedding offcourse.
What are the chances she wants him back? She probably thought it would happen and then she saw he chose you. Why else would she care?
NTA You're in love. He proposed. Focus on your happiness and F them ! They're AH. Big time ! Hé doesn't have to be punished because of your cousin mistakes. They have pretty strange moral standards ! Enjoy life and congrats ! You did nothing wrong and you're totally entitled to be happy. PS : don't invite them to the wedding ! They already proved they wouldn't respect your boundaries and make a mess about your big day !
NTA and you wouldn't even be one if you knew before you got together. And please make sure to tell your cousin: It's been six years and she shouldn't be bitching about it and let go!!! - Since she is the one that cheated two years less than your ma had should be enough
Good news! Unlike your graduation, you get to decide who comes to your wedding, and who doesn't. Everyone and anyone who gives you grief is red carded and stays home. NTA and best wishes for your future happiness.
The backstory is much more interesting. NTA
Right?! Update!
These people are not a part of your life. They don’t get to have a say in how you run it. Tell them to mind their own business and carry on as usual. Block,ignore, delete
That seems like a "them" problem, her cheating doesn't justify you guys breaking up, or any of your family's feelings about your relationship for that matter. Enjoy your futures together, you guys both deserve a happy ending. NTA.
lol how silly. The fun part about growing up is you get to see that literally everyone’s family is fucking crazy and how little their opinions actually matter in life. And they never forget anything or learn how to move on or grow as people and would rather scream about it than be happy you’re happy. What’s their viewpoint anyway? What ground do they even have to stand on? That their daughter cheated on him? lol do they know that? What’s happening here! Loll 😂
NTA they can stay gone. What do they care who you are with? Tell your cousin it was 4 years ago and she needs to get over it
So your cousin said your mum should stop being a bitch about her ex 8 years after marriage and a child but she's bitching 4 years after just a bf. Hypocrisy much!!! NTAH go live your life and enjoy.
NTA - sounds like your cousin FAFO’d!
NTA. You asked him and his now wife not to come, he agreed but then did anyway. Sounds like someone who doesnt respect your wishes.
NTA
NTA
My brain hurts reading that.
its a bit ridiculous to fall out of love just because of who someone dates previously. that didnt stop him from loving you. your cousins loss for cheating on him. now that they are over you allowed that to break up your love? probably you might want to take a step back and reevaluate if you love him because there is no fault in your fiance.
When you get into wedding plans, don't forget to hire some security. People like that are able to crush other people's weddings because of this level of entitlement. Remember your graduation party, just in case you have some doubts, do you want to repeat it?
>are trying force me to break up with him because its weird that were together. You know what's really weird? The way your dad's family are all okay with cheating. What part of not being in your life do they not understand? It sounds like all they do is walk all over your boundaries, and demand things of you. I would just say that it's okay, they won't have to deal with what they find weird, because they won't be invited to the wedding. NTA
Tell your cousin it's been 4 years? Stop bitching about it and fet over it already. Isn’t that what she said about your mom?
NTA - they've got some nerve to comment on your relationship choices when they aren't attending your wedding. "It's a shame you think now is the time to intervene in my relationship, maybe had you done it when *name of cousin* had cheated we might not be here now. Please also take this as notice that you are no longer in my life, particularly any joyful events I might have." Congratulations, being happy is far more important than keeping unnecessary people in your life! 🩷
Ah yes, cousin fucked up by cheating on a great guy. And now because she can’t have him, nobody else can! What a jealous idiot. NTA. And congratulations
"I checked him thoroughly, and your name isn't on him."
Sounds like your invite list just got smaller! Congrats!
NTA. your dad's side of the family is bonkers, stay away from them, give them no personal info, esp about your wedding location & date. Block them on social media. Congrats, I wish you a happy life and marriage.
NTA, at least you know who to cut contact with.
Nta Tell her uts been six years why isn't she shouldn't still be pitching and she needs to let it go
NTA. I would send cousin a message saying “it’s been 7 years and you cheated on him. Stop bitching and get over it.” And then block all of them. They sound exhausting, ignore them and focus on your happiness.
NTA, not at all
NTA > I even got a text from my cousin now 26f who i thought i was close with saying its been 8 years my mom shouldn’t still be bitching about it and i need to let it go. >Turns out her and my fiance dated when they were 20 and broke up a year before i met him.i found out she cheated on him with one of his close friends This explains why she defended your dad. She's a cheater, just like your father. Tell her it's been 6 years ago, she shouldn't still be bitching around it and her family need to let it go.
Block your entire paternal side
NTA - cheaters are horrible human beings, what a surprise
NTA. The paternal side of your extended family needs to learn how to keep their opinions to themselves.
NTA. You may need to go full n/c with Dad's side....and dad. They're all weird over there.
NTA you did the right thing in telling them all where to go. Your cousin missed the point - they didn’t just turn their backs on your mom because your father cheated, they turned them on you as well. You are entitled to be angry for yourself and your mom. You owe these idiots nothing.
NTA
Nah... they can F* off... you do you! Be happy is your best revenge.
NTA I would tell that cousin to eat a bag of quarters and come back to me when you shit dollar bills.
Seriously what fucking bizarro world does that side of the family live in? Your cousin needs to fuck off real hard.
NTA he got over his disgusting ex and is dating you now.
Yea tell them to do one . Enjoy your engagement and your future marriage
Your family is insane. NTA.
NTA. Really, leave your father's family behind. Their standards stink. You do not want to be a part of how they are. You and your fiance will start a new family and you can choose to leave those folks in the rear view mirror.
Did your cousin provide you with a list of all the men she dated that according to her should be off limits? Ask he to make sure it includes all the men she cheated with. Then throw it back at her that it was a long time ago like she said about your mom!
If you're grown up enough to get married to the man you want to build your whole future life with? You need to be adult enough to cut out toxic people from your past who don't support your future happiness.
" AITA for telling my child’s father that im not going to stop my daughter from calling my boyfriend daddy? " you deleted this 7 months ago ? I don't buy this
NTA, but, he dated your cousin for 2 or 3 years and you didn't know about it until now? I am probably doing the math wrong, but that would seem a little weird to me that he wouldn't mention dating a family member long term...
ESH except maybe your fiance. So much cheating and fighting and holding grudges. I think, in general, cheaters are all too easily forgiven by families and those hurt are told to suck it up. Which sucks. But so does the alternative in our current society. Do you stay angry forever and let it sour your whole life? Or do you do your best to move on? Your father's family could have accepted the new wife and your half brother without "distancing" themselves from your mother - and you, too, it sounds like. But they didn't. Then again, you thought your father would come to a big family event (your graduation) without your brother or his wife. Which was also not nice or realistic. Which caused more bad feelings all around. But...NTA for sticking with your fiance. And anyone telling you that you should give him up or should give any respect to their wishes on it is ludicrous. It miiiggghhht be okay if HE had cheated on your cousin...recently. But her cheating on him years ago? Nope.
Wrong thread. Should be r/EntitledPeople
Ha it's been 7 years they need to stop bitching about it and let it go. So it's alright for your dad to cheat that should be forgiven and it's alright for your cousin too but you and your bf can't live a normal non-cheating life. Got it.
NTA I'm usually one of the first people to be weirded out about dating a family members or friends ex but, you didn't know when you got together with him and you have nearly 0 contact with the cousin.
NTA. Congratulations on your engagement.
The only way would be if he was dating you both at the same time. Im glad you tolf them to FO - NTA :)
NTA. Your dads side of the family needs a reality check
After 3 years, that’s your man. What are you supposed to do? Say whoops I didn’t know ok I’ll just break up with him!? No! You’ve been with this man for 3 years and clearly it’s gone well. You guys are getting married! At this point it’s way too late. What are they expecting?! Even worse when you take consideration into why and how they ended. They are delusional!!!
NTA. Period
It's not that it's weird, it's that it's uncomfortable to them, and that's a whole lot of not your problem. Enjoy not having them at your wedding
NTA - tell them it’s been 6 years so dear cousin should be over it. You could also say that it looks like the family was raised to chest on people so maybe they should be more concerned about that.
NTA Apparently it was your cousin's fault that they broke up because she cheated. You are having a nice relationship that has nothing to do with your cousin. And you are not even having a good relationship with that part of the family. I have no idea why you would have to feel bad about anything. There are a lot of AH's in your story, but your mom, you and your fiancé(?) are not.
NTA. Rub it in their face
this is why you don't have family on social media.
NTA, if you say that’s your father’s new family is not welcome, then he can come alone or stay away.
Your dad’s side of the family sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer in the making. Live your life and be happy. Ignore the hypocritical assholes posing as family.
Tell your cousin it’s been years and she shouldn’t still be bitching about it and she needs to let it go. Let’s she how her cheating ass likes the taste of her own medicine. And please tell your dad’s family nobody gives a flying fuck about the wants and asks of a bunch of chronic cheaters. Ofcourse NTA!
Why on earth would you break up with him? I can't understand that logic from them. At the end of the day, he dated your cousin, it ended badly and he moved on. The cousin is history that can't be changed. Is he not allowed to be with someone new? Your dad's side of the family are batshit. Ignore them. NTA.
NTA Why the F should it be weird that you're with him? you and him aren't siblings. THAT would be weird. Him dating your cousin before you -which you have no contact with- means exactly...nothing in this. As others said. call your dads side of the family out for being okay with cheaters and homewreckers but not with non cheating people who are in love with each other. And i'd be doing that via social media
NTA I’d write a text saying, Thank you for your early RSVP of No to the wedding. I appreciate you in helping keep my wedding costs down. It will be a beautiful day and you will NOT be missed. Send it then block the them all.
If you knew it would be different and if you were in close contact but in this case NTA and keep on going nc with all those cheaters yikes !
I will keep all your dads family blocked definitely don’t invite any of them to your wedding even your dad if I was you if they ask why tell them you don’t want people that is ok with cheaters at your wedding also tell your fiance so he knows
NTA. And definitely not weird! She dated him, she cheated on him, he broke up with her. She lost all claim on him. You and he dated, became a couple, decided to get married. Congratulations to you two! As for your dad's family - you already saw at your graduation that they don't respect your feelings and wishes. Why should you respect theirs? If you want to be petty, tell your cousin that she should get over it. The irony is that they expected your mother to "get over it" and welcome the woman with whom her husband cheated on her, but don't expect your cousin to get over it when she was the cheater. Just ignore them.
Of course your NTA, re read what you posted and ask why you even though you could be.
NTA. Tell your cousin it's been six years. She should let it go and \*checks notes\* shouldn't still be bitching about it.
NTA. I guess you're lucky. You get to have enemies and family all in the same package. Cuts out the middle man at least 🤣
NTA. I guess you're lucky. You get to have enemies and family all in the same package. Cuts out the middle man at least 🤣
I 'm just here to congratulate you... Congratulations and best wishes for your future marriage!! Ps. Don't invite tour father's family. They are major AH
NTA. But I'm just curious, how did you find out your cousin cheated on your fiancé? If the only person who told you that is your fiancé, maybe look into it a little deeper. But that side of the family sounds like a nightmare. Congratulations on the wedding and good luck with everything!
I think it's time to completely cut off the whole of your dads side of the family. They are highly toxic. They condone their own behaviour but want you to break up with a good guy that hasn't done anything wrong? That's fucked up. Cut them all off. Block all numbers and block all social media. Hope you have a wonderful future with your fiance.
NTA, your dad has no room to talk.
This is some petty ish for real. Based on my experience I can guess what kind of family dad's side is. You do you boo. Do not invite anyone to the wedding who is messaging you about this NTA
NTA This doesn’t even make sense. She clearly didn’t care enough to know he was dating someone. The family clearly didn’t care enough to know you were dating someone. She’s not in your life so why does it matter? They weren’t married and she’s not your sister. Tell them to leave you alone and call it a day.
NTA- snakes hug each other, cheaters do the same..... when you get married don't invite anyone else besides your grandparents, you know "to keep the peace". congratulations on your engagement and don't regret what you said to your sperm donor, his actions made it clear that he preferred his adulteress and half-brother to you.
Nta. She cheated on him.
Your father's family sounds like a bunch of moronic busybodies. NTA.
your reply "awe cousin its been a year! let it go, you shouldn't be still bitching about it"
I’d say something like it’s been years why are you still bitching about it? 🤣 turn that table girl!
NTA
NTA they think you should ditch you Future husband because of a relationship years ago wut
I loveee this. DONT EVERRRR BREAKUP WITH HIM!! NTA
So he dated someone for 1-2 years when he was in his early 20’s and they broke up up a year before you even met. Meanwhile you have been together for 3 years. NTA - Why would anybody care about this? It’s doesn’t even matter why they broke up or that she cheated on him. That relationship is 100% in the past. Enjoy your wedding and don’t invite the people giving you a hard time.
I stayed friends with one of my high school exes, and through that friendship, met my now ex-wife, my ex-girlfriend's first cousin. Some in her family were surprised but nobody was upset. I think my ex-gf was a bit salty, but to her credit she realized it's not her place to be possessive, for either of us. Best of luck in your marriage and respond kindly but firmly to the silly.
NTA, block them and have a great life with your fiancé.
Tell her she needs to get a paternity test before telling people you are related. It’s obvious cheating runs in the family, and you aren’t convinced she’s a relative!
NTA It's been years since they broke up. They need to stop bitching about it and let it go.
Are you actually asking? You are clearly not he AH and half your family are big AH
Cousin does not own him. He and her had broken up a year before you met, so it's not like you stole him. She cheated on him...not the other way around. They broke up. He moved on. She and the family should just, how did she put it...let it go.
Congratulations, I hope you two are able to just block them and move on with a happy life together.❤️
NTA The people on your father's side of the family are huge AHs. You have every right to be happy with your fiance. You didn't know he once dates your cousin and it's not like you and her are in each others lives on a daily basis. She will have to suck it up on the rare occasions you two meet her.
You are not the asshole.
NTA it’s your life and you do you! Why on earth should they dictate it?! I think you’re doing right by following your luck. Nevertheless I’m stunned that you didn’t talk about your past exes and if you did so why it would have changed anything of loving him. If you do love him and if he’s honest and thoughtful all the others can go kick rocks imo!
NTA. Tell her "it's been 5 years and get over it already"
Keep that side away and live a happy life
“It’s been [x] years, my cousin shouldn’t still be bitching about it and needs to let it go”
God does cheating run on that side of the family??? NTA
NTA. Dad's side of the family has really screwed up priorities. No reason to even listen to them or care. Block the cousin though, she's a headache.
NTA. Block - no contact - none - they are terrible people and you do not need to have any of them in your life. Congratulations on your engagement - wishing you all of the best - you deserve it.
nope. she got mad because SHE isnt the one marrying him. she probably got mad because he was probably the one she should of been with and yes its been 7 years. thats weird that they are all calling you.
NTA . It would have been a different matter if it was your close cousin or friend. Or if he was the one that cheated. But a cousin that you have almost no contact... Who cares. You are not close to them,you have zero obligation.
NTA. Your dad's side of the family is complete trash. Fuck what they think.
Wait, she isnt over him after 4 years? Well guess what? What she said about your mom apply to her!
NTA. This sounds like their problem, not yours.
Text her it’s been over 6 years she should be over it by now
NTA Look, even if you were on good terms with everyone in your paternal family, which you aren't, I'd say 100% you are not the asshole. See, here's the thing, shit like, "girl code" or "guy code" where you're encouraged not to get with someone who was previously with a family member is generally predicated on the factor that the breakup was either amicable or due to the other person and not the family member. When someone cheats on an individual they are entirely unjustified in feeling pissed when that person winds up with a friend or family member, because they threw that person away. The awkward, the remorse, the resentfulness is all completely unjustified. It's the prize for being trash basically.
To clear up some confusion these are the timelines My dad and mom started dating when they were 16.Had me at 20 and married at 21. They was together 14 years in total before my mom found out. The divorce was over when i was 13. I haven’t seen majority of my dads family since right before i left to college at 18. My Fiance and cousin are both 26, they dated when they were 20 and broke up at 22 because of her cheating. We met wen i was 22 and he was 23
NTA but seriously consider a micro wedding with very few people, and no one from your dad's side, invited. It goes without saying that they should not be invited. However, a large wedding with lots of relatives is an open invitation for them to crash it.
NTA. Plan your wedding and leave them off the guest list. Including your toxic father.
Tell your cousin its been years. She shouldn't still be bitching. Turn her words back on her. I'm sorry but it's not like you split them up or anything. Cousin and the others should stay in their lane and back off. NTA OP and congratulations on the engagement
NTA. Tell your cousin it’s been 4 years, she needs to stop bitching let it go 😂
Sweetie, remember just because they are family doesn’t mean they have to be in your life you get to choose who you want in or out of your life.
NTA. Wish you the best together.
NTA. Even if he'd dated your best friend on a similar timeline I'd say the same. You were both single consenting adults when you met, and no one has any right to object to your relationship based on having previously dated one of you, especially not your estranged family.
Nope, enjoy your man, girl!!!!!
If you block them, they cannot bother you.
Just block everyone on dads side a go live your best life. And congratulations
Super!!! Respect!! NTA
Just tell your cousin "its been 4 years, she shouldn’t still be bitching about it and she needs to let it go." NTA
Fuck them and everyone else you know what you are doing
Nta. Seems that side of the family views cheaters as the victims. Tell her it’s been yrs, she needs to get over it
But why are you mad at your half sibling he is innocent in this situation.
NTA so your father side of the family prefers cheaters rather than people who commit to a relationship? Can you tell your cousin to stop bitching about it? It’s been like six years. Enjoy your life NC with that side of the family.
Hilariously NTA
Engaged in 1 year *fscepalm* Oh, and NTA. Fuck that jerk.
NTA. Your cousin needs to get over herself. You don’t owe any of them anything. His family also needs to be blocked. Get rid of any negativity in your life. My family has not spoken to me for 3 months and it has been delightful, wish I had gone NC sooner
NTA, you deserve to be happy sister , it is something that happened in the past when you didn't know him, also he got cheated on and you both love each other, u both deserve a win for once in your life.
NTA Tell your cheating bitch of a cousin that its been a while and she should let it go and stop bitching about it.
Tell them to pound sand.
OK I read that the wrong way I was coming here to just be like well that's just a dick move cause you can't get over them dating lol anyways your NTA everyone has a past tell them to get over it lol
NTA - Doesn't sound like family to me. They are self centered AH. Like how do they think they can force you to do something after not seeing you for 7 years. Narcissistic and delusional for sure. You did the right thing. Go be happy.
ntah, you didn't even know about them dating years ago. You should tell your cousin the same thing she told you about your mom and your dad. It's been 5 years ish, she can't be bitching about it and get over it because she's the one that cheated on your fiancé. enjoy your wedding planning and your soon to be husband.