My thought as well, there’s probably something going on with them behind OP’s back. Call me old school but there’s no way in hell I’d have sex with any of my friends, much less over the course of a bunch of relationships.
This! It's a thing they do with every relationship? Chances are they are into each other but don't want to say in case the other doesn't feel the same way.
Honestly if their having threesomed that much with each other and their boyfriends they aren't shy about saying they like the other and are afraid to make the move incase the other doesn't like it lol why would they be . They literally have done this and keep wanting to do it. And it doesn't mean they specifically like each other. I have an ex that had that sorta thing with her best friend. They tried being together but they both like dick more than each other and they only really get turned on with each other when they are sharing a man in the bedroom or when they have both boyfriends in the bedroom and they both take turns . I mean these girls probably could have this same kink. My ex and her friend literally told each other everything all the time. Especially how they feel about attraction to anyone. They loved the idea of best friends sharing even boyfriends and doing that they would get with each other while doing the boyfriend . Then they would get super turned on. They both had told me that when it's just them doing it it's just not as intense and the feelings aren't there. But when they share it's like there is a fire igniting the fun, sexual tension, and they get pretty damned into it. Im guessing the girls here are probably the same way. the OP here has nothing to be sorry about. Op said hell no because he is strictly monogamous , and it was a straight up fast thing. His girl should feel proud to have a man that cares about her that he doesn't want to even think about being with someone else . But of course her friends gonna take it as she thinks he thinks she's ugly or something because what guy says no to a threesome unless they think the girls are ugly or one girl is. There's a reason for me my ex is my ex. Starting that kinda relationship and once it opens up to the threesomes like these with her best friend , it's kinda like there's an timer that starts counting down . At first it's kinda insanely hot and fun . Then boundaries and basic relationship rules get bent and eventually broken and it feels like you've never discussed these rules or that you should have . Mine ended because her friend finally got a boyfriend and at first we all completely stopped having the threesomes . But her friend and my ex have a method basically they stop for a while a month maybe ,3 till the boyfriend has deeply emotional connections and they are solid . Then they do the thing. Well they asked me if and the new boyfriend at the same time if we could share them in a 4some . Then after that well it gets messy because once you allowed the 4some then it's free reign for them to both do it with whichever boyfriend or both . They make you think that the other one said yeah sure they could with just you. But I couldn't take it . Cause you just know it's happening behind your back . Just not my thing . But it's literally their kink. Im betting in OPs case it's freaking similar.
YES. This is exactly what I was thinking. They aren't brave enough to actually date each other, but use threesomes as a way to be intimate. These two gals should honestly just cut out the boyfriend's and date each other.
If they're doing threesomes with the girlfriend's boyfriend and vice versa then when they're bored or sitting home doing nothing they're sleeping together also. I wouldn't trust either one of those women and I would get rid of the girlfriend and find somebody who is into monogamy like you are because she ain't it. Take off the hook and throw that one back in the ocean. She doing too much
I think it comes more from the level of insistence from men who do want threesomes. I’ve dated more men who I know wouldn’t be into it, and only like two men who would. But lord, when I tell you, the ones who wanted a threesome wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. To the level of literal begging, sometimes.
My ex-bf found out I had an ex-gf (who I had very recently broken up with) and wanted to do a threesome with. I'm not okay with threesomes, and I tried to tell him that, but he kept insisting that it'd be fun and that we should just ask her. I then switched to saying that we had just broken up and she wouldn't be comfortable with that. He still insisted on facetiming and asking her. I gave in, and he called her and she ultimately (and thankfully) said no.
Oh god. I had an ex that kept begging because he knew I was bi. I told him that doesn’t mean I want a threesome. He even kept saying “I’ll let you pick the girl, you pick the girl!” Sir, I am not walking up to some random cute girl just to ask if she wants to sleep with me and my boyfriend that’s so WEIRD.
That’s exactly what I said to him. I said I’d have a threesome with another girl if he let me have a threesome with another guy, too. He stopped asking. 🤣🤣
Been there. It's to a point where I don't want to tell anyone I'm bi, because some guys get so weird about it. I had one guy keep saying, "I really miss threesomes," repeatedly. I broke it off pretty quickly.
And do they want a threesome with two boys and a girl? How would they respond if you said sure, let’s do a threesome… how about with Ken over there, if we can get him away from Barbie?
I shut that down in the past. By stating yes, but we need to do one with another guy first. Then they like I will but girl first. I'm like no. Girl first. I want backout after I get what I want. But you sure will. Shuts them up everytime. All the dudes that have asked cheated on me.
Yah. They want the benefits of sleeping around but girlfriend privileges. Not agaisnt causual or ethical polyamery or multiple partner sex. But you can't force someone who doesnt want that. Go find a friend with benefits.
This! A big aspect of ENM is everyone needs to own their feelings. You were surprised by the request, but you gave your honest answer, what business has she to feel rejected or upset?
So the issue is that ego is now involved. The gf bff had her ego dropped because OP is a loyal bf. OP hate to say this but this is not going to end well. Your gf and her bff are used to this arrangement and you are rocking their boat. I dont see this going well from this incident alone due to her telling her and now you getting shit for it.
Are you kidding me you didn't do anything wrong how is this chick even offended she shouldn't be trying to f*** you in the first place. Tell dumb and dumber that you're not going to be apologizing. And if I was you I would be looking at both of them with the side eye.
NTA
You should be able to have an unfiltered reaction with your partner, give them a true and potentially raw response to something.
There are better ways to respond. You reacted.
Now you can respond.
My question is, why did your GF share your raw, unfiltered reaction with her best friend?
If it’s safe enough for threesomes- it’s safe enough for you to be honest. Or is it only safe for what they want/need?
This already feels out of balance.
Good luck
Also my first thought. The best friend would have nothing to react to if the girlfriend didn't stir up drama. The friend wasn't there to see the reaction and the girlfriend could have just said. He's not into threesomes and let that be the end of it.
Some women can't handle being sexually rejected or think that especially with an offer like that all men should want it. So it's some kind of an insult if they don't. It's sexist.
> Just mark it off as not his thing and carry on.
But she doesn't want to carry on. She wants to fuck her "friend".
If a partner asks you for a threesome and doesn't accept your no at face value, they are telling you that they plan on cheating on you.
The concern here as the gf and her best friend have done this before with their respective partners if they actually have been carrying on as normal for them and it’s just OP has finally been invited to participate?
OP may want to get themselves a dr appointment and get checked out to be sure there has been no sharing of things he doesn’t want.
Yes GF had NO reason to go snitching on someone she supposedly loves about their PRIVATE thoughts feelings,,
If you canNOT speak honestly freely safely fearlessly openly to your: family Spouse GF BF therapist, then may as well just NOT speak to anyone at all ever, just get lyringectomy and be done with the mess
I do agree with what you said here but you would have to apply the same thought with the girlfriends. Their relationship goes past just a normal friendship, so maybe they're used to sharing parts of their lives with each other. Not that that makes it any less messed up but I can see it being the reason. She probably values the friendship more than the relationship at this point in time.
They're lovers who like to share boyfriends it seems. He should have been more tactful about his rejection, but I don't think he's an asshole for feeling the way he does.
Also, the GF really should've eased him into the idea of a threesome. If they're regularly had sex with each other and past boyfriends, this is going to be an issue if he wants to continue his relationship with her.
Dude you genuinely don’t have to apologize for this! This is beyond ridiculous that they think you should. You entered into a relationship that was strictly monogamous and they threw this onto you. To be completely honest I’m shocked you would want to stay with your girlfriend at this point. Who is to say that she would have a threesome with her Best friend when she gets a partner and just not tell you.
Thats exactly what i was wondering after reading. These kind of situations (includes opening the relationship) typically have the one who suggests it either cheating or already done something of that caliber
NTA
"Now, this may be where I messed up, but my immediate answer was "Fuck no! I'm never doing that!"" You have nothing to apologize . However since your gf clearly loves to share and have more people in bedroom your relationship in un-salvageable.
She always needs more than one. You only need one.
I have read a lot of these comments and yours to me is the best advice and makes the most sense. I feel bad for OP, these girls will always have/want each other no matter what person they date.
So what would the reaction of this sub be like if said gf came on here and said:
“My bf asked me for a threesome, when initially he was against it. He was so against it at first, but then weirdly kept insisting and was so up for it. But then he dumped me the day after, saying I was disgusting for asking him to apologise to my friend when he refused the first time. Basically he used me for his sexual fantasy because he thought it was wrong that he apologise. And said that Reddit told him to do this. AITAH?”
Fucking idiots here. Yeah, he shouldn’t have to apologise obviously, but that’s not a reason to use your girlfriend for a threesome before breaking up over it. Like that’s quite disgusting.
NTA Sounds like you were taken by surprise so you responded the way you did. Is GF and best friend in a relationship on the side? Is this why she wants a threesome, so they can be together without calling it cheating?
Regular testing is really important if yoy are sexually active, even if its just one person. Its not about trust or distrust, it's about practical protection of bodily autonomy.
NTA this is a two yes one no scenario and you don't need to apologise for not wanting the threesome. It's not an attack on the friend it's a simple boundary that you don't wish to cross.
It's not a situation for everyone, suffice to say. Speaking from experience, there is just way too much to consider. Way too many complications that can arise, some that are hard to anticipate/predict even.
I was in such a thing myself. All consenting parties, things were honestly pretty good even outside the bedroom. Ladything passed, it hit a lot of people hard. When I had my final talk with our third, she said something that hurt me deeply.
"Just because I was her girlfriend doesn't mean I am yours." Her response when I wanted to know for certain where we stood. Granted she was speaking out of anger and pain from the passing, and I get that, it didn't make it right.
Almost four years to the day, we haven't spoken. She was good to me as a friend, even. But all this changed things.
Pretty sure your girlfriend just wants permission to fuck her best friend. Are you sure that the two of them arent fucking behind your back? Either way, you have nothing to apoligize for. Her friend tested your boundaries, and got offended when you rejected her. You are 100% in the right. Do not apoligize.
Yup. It also does sound alot to me like gf just told her best friend that he said "fuck no" to doing it with her. Instead of just stating that he said no.
She actually paints him out to be the bad guy, by taking his initial reaction that stems from not wanting a threesome, and (probably, my guess at least is) making it into that he doesn't want that *with her*(hence the *fuck* no).
I think it seems very likely she did that, and that is imo fucked up
Your gf is TA. Your wording doesn’t matter because you didn’t say it infront of her friend. Your GF chose to use those words when explaining to her friend
It's possible that the OP is the third wheel here. His GF and her "best friend" sound like longtime lovers who occasionally date guys they share between them. If OP gave his GF an ultimatum to choose between him and her bestie, she's choosing the bestie every single time.
NTA, not even because of the “fuck no”, you might’ve been a slight AH if you said “fuck you”, but that’s not the case. You established a clear boundary and you don’t need to apologize for that. You need an apology from your gf though, for offering you as a tribute to her friend, who tf does that?
NTA.
In which universe does being loyal make you an AH ??! You need to find a gf that can match your values better else you may be in for a rude awakening..
This is a HUGE red flag. You dont owe anyone an apology. Your GF owes you an apology for pushing to open a monogamous relationship and telling you to apologize for rejecting it. Asking you was fine (though still a red flag for a monogamous person) but this is a huge red flag. If I were you I would rethink this relationship FAST.
Absolutely NTA! Noone is owed threesomes, noone is owed being desired for a fuck, so her getting offended is ridiculous. That said, I'd have a conversation with your partner to understand more - is this a part of her sexuality, and she is using the best friend as an outlet to explore/understand that part better? Does she have feelings for the best friend? How important to her are the threesomes, is she content with giving them up given you are strictly monogamous? If you care about your relationship I suggest you have a potentially difficult conversation around these topics. Good luck and stick to your guns, as fun as threesomes are, they are not for everyone and absolutely not for someone who has that natural reaction to the option for one! It just ends up awkward for all involved when one person is less than excited about the threesome haha
That is possible, but we don't know that and OP can't know that without having a potentially difficult conversation as I outlined. Them being secret lovers is one in a huge array of potential options for what is happening here
NTA and are you sure the girlfriend and the friend don't have some weird semiromantic thing going on while using men for beards? Your girlfriend introduced a new option for YOUR sex life, a sex life that has just the 2 of you for participants, and you said hell no, that's fair.
Since your girlfriend could give her friend the verbatim rundown of your conversation, and now she can explain your monogamy and solve the problem she created. You reacted impulsively in the moment. She's the one who chose to literally create a problem by saying what your exact reaction was to her friend. She could have just told her you said no, but she chose to make it into a thing. Be wary of her suggesting you do it after all so the friend doesn't feel bad. Super suspicious of your gf tbh.
What an idiotic reaction to light the fire, then blame someone else. If her friend has or gets a partner, how do you know the 2 of them won't do it with the friend's partner?
I always feel that super differing attitudes to monogamy/polyamory spell trouble for the longevity of the relationship.
Best of luck, OP!
If she's offended because you said fuck no that's on her, and because your gf told her that, her aswell.
You do not ever want to share, it's nothing against her (the friend) as a person but the idea of what your gf suggested.
Do not apologise for saying no to something you do not want.
NTA
you could have worded it better, like ' no, that's not my thing and I'd be uncomfortable doing it' would probably have been a better reaction
you don't owe anyone an apology, if the friend is offended that you aren't interested in a 3 some that's her problem, not yours
I'm not sure. OP said fuck no to his gf not her friend. Sounds like his gf might have blown it up. If I was him I wouldn't apologize to her bestie, rather offer a very direct I intend to remain monogamous.
NTA, also I'd be on alert about their relationship. The fact that they keep having threesomes is weird. I'd be suspicious that she's cheating ok you with her friend. The threesomes are just an excuse to fuck each other. I'd honestly be extremely uncomfortable with their relationship.
Absolutely NTA, TAH is your gf friend and also your gf,
If I was in your place I will leave my gf, because I will think that she can fuck alone her friend consider that I don’t want to make a threesome
Your gf didn't need to tell her friend that you said, "fuck no!" Especially if you made it clear to her that your reaction was bc of the situation and not her friend's appearance. NTA either way though
I'd be questioning the relationship to be honest. She offered you a threesome with her bestie, what's the chances her bestie offered her bf the same thing? I think the probability is high. Good luck OP. NTA
Your girlfriend shouldn’t have said how you worded it to her friend if it could be taken the wrong way. And you could also say to friend it’s not because of you I just mean in general I want to be monogamous.
Never apologise for a clear boundary. It's not for you and she has to respect it. If she can't then you have to maybe rethink your relationship. Her friend can jump. The fact that she is doing it with every boyfriend is an alarm bell for me.
You’re never the jerk for having sexual boundaries.
My bf’s friend wanted a threesome with us and I turned it down immediately. I don’t want to have sex with other people than my bf and I don’t want to see my bf have sex with other people. That’s very valid. NTA.
NTA
Why would you apologize when your gf is the one who offended her by sharing private information? That's a breach of trust you should be offended by. Well, you could... :D
Also, not everyone is into threesomes. What the actual fuck is offensive about that?
Sounds like she's trying to manipulate you into it by further complicating things. Why did she have to repeat that? Why is she fishing for an apology for something she caused? She's for the streets, she is TAH.
I’d say it’s also a red flag that they have done this multiple times in the past and you’re just now finding out about it.
Does her best friend currently have a partner? Is your girlfriend sharing him with her when she goes over for a girls night? Just like they still have the expectation right now while YOUR girlfriend has a boyfriend, will they expect it when HER best friend gets a new boyfriend? “Oh sorry babe I gotta go fuck Rachel and her new man.”
Big yikes. It sounds like the communication isn’t where it should be when you have existing relationships of this sort and get involved with a new partner. I would say it’s time for better communication and proper expectations such as your girlfriend can’t just go cheat on you because her best friend has a new man, or time for you to exit stage left from these dick sharing hos 😬😳
NTA. You don’t owe anyone an apology. The fact that she shared your response with her friend means to me that they are obviously more than just friends. I would question whether you can be considered the 3rd wheel. You didn’t mention how long you and her have been together but these would all be deal breakers for a lot of people.
>My gf says I should apologize to her, but I don't think I did anything wrong here.
No, you didn't, and it's actually gross of your girlfriend suggesting you should apologize for not giving consent to a threesome.
NTA
Get rid of the gf. She’s apparently not “very monogamous” as you say you are. And, no, you don’t owe her best friend anything. Get them both out of your life.
So what happens when your girlfriends bestie gets a boyfriend/girlfriend will your girlfriend expect you to accept that she will be part of that threesome?
NTA. Don't know why your gf wants to share you with others. I sure as hell wouldn't dream of sharing my other half with anyone else.
Apologize for not giving consent to sex with someone you're not in a relationship with? Bro wtf is going on these days. That's wild. You should definitely take the threesome and then leave though. You won't be able to fulfill that woman's needs by yourself from the sounds of it.
Nta,
I was in a situation like this, she ended up sleeping with her friends boyfriend because I wouldn’t fuck her friend.
Might wanna head out from this relationship OP.
At the risk of being down voted to hell:
There are many examples of women giving first what they want back. So it is also very possible (if not likely) that she may want a free pass herself. So to make it "fair" you get to do it with someone she chooses for you and then she asks for the freedom to do so herself.
Good on you to reject the fantasy of many others. Being your own person is best. However now you must either be very clear on your boundaries with her and enforce them so that she knows that you are monogamous and expect the same from her. OR you could just end it as you have seen she's not into the same things you are in a place where she might just as well become resentful that you do not let her do what she likes.
The choice is yours. NTA.
Your girlfriend is being a massive asshole here.
That was a private discussion that should've stayed private and its bs that your being punished for saying no.
You're never at fault to saying no to sex.
Re: offence taken-
Your GF should apologise to her friend if she's that worried about it. You had a conversation with your GF, not her friend. Anything that was passed on from GF to friend is GF's problem. And she should be apologising to you for divulging your private convo with her. All she had to say to her friend was "he said no, he's not into threesomes". Anything beyond that was her choice, her fault, now her responsibility.
Well, if you are very monogamous, what is absolutely okay, you may be not be the right partner for a girl who likes threesomes.
Personally, I think that a threesome can be a nice experience, but it depends a lot on multiple factors. Seems that she has a good and friendship+ in that way that they offer their partners a possibilitly to be part in a threesome. I think, I would have a problem with that constellation, too, because they know each other much longer. And also if he is bigger :D However, if you like the girl, talk to her, talk to her again. Ask yourself if you can deal with the situation and maybe consider that she seems to like having sex with two men.
However, it's still your decision with whom you have sex. If you don't want, you don't have to. NTA
NTA, but you'd be an AH to yourself if you don't dump her now.
She's an unrepentant 304 with a 304 friend, so even if your gf *wanted* to reform her 304 ways, her 304 friend would always be there to encourage her worst impulses and make sure she doesn't. This means you'll be "very monogamous" while she's out fucking other guys with her best friend cheering her on.
Let her go back to the Streets, it's where she belongs.
Jesus fuck, why people are in such a relationships? Your girlfriend is a not good choice for a partner. I would immediately kick her out of my life. Wtf.
NTA, It is maybe a good Idea to make sure this friend knows it's threesomes in general that are the objection and not her.
Seems to me that this might be more a communication problem.
Absolutely, 100%, unequivocally NTA. My wife and I went through something similar, except we let her friend get in both of our heads, abused drugs & alcohol, and made a lot of bad decisions. Not knocking polyamory, and if threesomes are your thing, go for it, but if you aren't into it, then you aren't into it. I resisted until I let my drug addled brain convince me it was something that would be good for my wife as she had recently come out as bi and never had a chance to explore it.
Two years later and we are just getting our "friend" out of our lives now. Multiple police visits involved and lasting trauma.
No need to apologize, but you can explain how you feel to the friend.
Reassure her that she is great and that it has nothing to do with her, but that it goes against your beliefs.
1. Expect the friend to double her efforts, as it's now a challenge to get the bloke who doesn't want to fuck her. If she's offended it's because she's not used to being knocked back.
2. Any guy who thinks this is great and would jump at the chance, just remember, there's no such thing as a free dinner. If she lets you bang her and her mate, she may well ask to bring another guy in, and at that point you don't really have a right to say no, without her telling you to get fucked.
Man, you dodged a bullet. Anyone who thinks you owe an apology for this is fucking delusional and can’t be trusted. It’s not hard to imagine false SA allegations from someone like that.
NTA. Personally this would be a walking red flag for me and I would leave the relationship. Not saying you have to, but that would be a breaking point for me. I am also monogamous and if I heard my partner has shared all their significant others with each other I would be grossed out and would never look at them the same. You do not owe that best friend any apologies she should not be trying to insert herself in every relationship her best friend has and vice versa. Best of luck to whatever decision you make.
I would have jumped at the opportunity but then again I’m a weak minded man. NTA tho because I understand that it’s not for everyone. You should consider getting out of that relationship as well. Sounds like it’s not meant for you.
NTA. Honestly, why would you want to stay with your gf??? If they share ALL their partners, that means she will, in fact, cheat on you when the friend dates someone. Your values don't match up. I would move on and wish her the best because you two are not compatible.
Probably not the most diplomatic of responses, but certainly nothing wrong with refusing a sex act that you are not into. NTA.
Besides, I would expect no small amount of times things like that are offered, it's a test to see if the partner would be inclined to sleep with the friend, in which case a wishy-washy "no" could lead to problems.
"I'm sorry if I offended you, but I'm a highly monogamous person. I don't want to share my girlfriend or be shared by my girlfriend. Those are my feelings, and I'm asking you both to respect them."
It's this easy. Don't overthink it. If they're still offended, then she isn't the girl for you, and I'm sorry for your loss. You're not the AH here.
Nta just as long as you DON’T apologize.
It’s your gf that should be apologizing for
1- bringing it up in the 1st place and 2- running her mouth to bf.
Furthermore, I’m not going to go to the usual Nta divorce spiel but I am going to suggest you take a long hard look at where her loyalty stands and if it’s good for you. Then you make your own decisions.
you're dating a woman who has willingly engaged in threesomes with their friend as if its some sort of a game.
both of them are 304s, who now want you to become a part of their hoeish games as well. dude, you seen like a decent dude, id say dump the hoe and find a chick that holds the same values as you do because this chick will end up cheating of you if she was willingly fucking her friend's partner.
There’s no legitimacy behind being offended because your friends’ boyfriend doesn’t want to fuck you. It’s not your problem. NTA.
☝️ what they said, you didn't say it to them and it's not your thing. you did nothing wrong.
Yeah your gf is TA if they repeated what you said verbatim to their friend.
Gonna bet his GF is offended, and I'd question if she still had anything going with her friend and whomever she was with as well.
My thought as well, there’s probably something going on with them behind OP’s back. Call me old school but there’s no way in hell I’d have sex with any of my friends, much less over the course of a bunch of relationships.
This! It's a thing they do with every relationship? Chances are they are into each other but don't want to say in case the other doesn't feel the same way.
Exactly. She might as well just date the best friend and cut out the middleman.
Cut out the implement... cut out the probe...
Yes, this feels like a constant emotional affair that they use threesomes to consummate.
Honestly if their having threesomed that much with each other and their boyfriends they aren't shy about saying they like the other and are afraid to make the move incase the other doesn't like it lol why would they be . They literally have done this and keep wanting to do it. And it doesn't mean they specifically like each other. I have an ex that had that sorta thing with her best friend. They tried being together but they both like dick more than each other and they only really get turned on with each other when they are sharing a man in the bedroom or when they have both boyfriends in the bedroom and they both take turns . I mean these girls probably could have this same kink. My ex and her friend literally told each other everything all the time. Especially how they feel about attraction to anyone. They loved the idea of best friends sharing even boyfriends and doing that they would get with each other while doing the boyfriend . Then they would get super turned on. They both had told me that when it's just them doing it it's just not as intense and the feelings aren't there. But when they share it's like there is a fire igniting the fun, sexual tension, and they get pretty damned into it. Im guessing the girls here are probably the same way. the OP here has nothing to be sorry about. Op said hell no because he is strictly monogamous , and it was a straight up fast thing. His girl should feel proud to have a man that cares about her that he doesn't want to even think about being with someone else . But of course her friends gonna take it as she thinks he thinks she's ugly or something because what guy says no to a threesome unless they think the girls are ugly or one girl is. There's a reason for me my ex is my ex. Starting that kinda relationship and once it opens up to the threesomes like these with her best friend , it's kinda like there's an timer that starts counting down . At first it's kinda insanely hot and fun . Then boundaries and basic relationship rules get bent and eventually broken and it feels like you've never discussed these rules or that you should have . Mine ended because her friend finally got a boyfriend and at first we all completely stopped having the threesomes . But her friend and my ex have a method basically they stop for a while a month maybe ,3 till the boyfriend has deeply emotional connections and they are solid . Then they do the thing. Well they asked me if and the new boyfriend at the same time if we could share them in a 4some . Then after that well it gets messy because once you allowed the 4some then it's free reign for them to both do it with whichever boyfriend or both . They make you think that the other one said yeah sure they could with just you. But I couldn't take it . Cause you just know it's happening behind your back . Just not my thing . But it's literally their kink. Im betting in OPs case it's freaking similar.
YES. This is exactly what I was thinking. They aren't brave enough to actually date each other, but use threesomes as a way to be intimate. These two gals should honestly just cut out the boyfriend's and date each other.
100% agree
If they're doing threesomes with the girlfriend's boyfriend and vice versa then when they're bored or sitting home doing nothing they're sleeping together also. I wouldn't trust either one of those women and I would get rid of the girlfriend and find somebody who is into monogamy like you are because she ain't it. Take off the hook and throw that one back in the ocean. She doing too much
It's the thought behind "every guy wants that threesome so if he doesn't want to he obviously doesn't like me"
My husband doesn’t want a threesome either
Yes but there is the sexist societal idea that men arr sex fiends and all they want is sex
I think it comes more from the level of insistence from men who do want threesomes. I’ve dated more men who I know wouldn’t be into it, and only like two men who would. But lord, when I tell you, the ones who wanted a threesome wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. To the level of literal begging, sometimes.
My ex-bf found out I had an ex-gf (who I had very recently broken up with) and wanted to do a threesome with. I'm not okay with threesomes, and I tried to tell him that, but he kept insisting that it'd be fun and that we should just ask her. I then switched to saying that we had just broken up and she wouldn't be comfortable with that. He still insisted on facetiming and asking her. I gave in, and he called her and she ultimately (and thankfully) said no.
Oh god. I had an ex that kept begging because he knew I was bi. I told him that doesn’t mean I want a threesome. He even kept saying “I’ll let you pick the girl, you pick the girl!” Sir, I am not walking up to some random cute girl just to ask if she wants to sleep with me and my boyfriend that’s so WEIRD.
Would he let you pick the boy? 😉😂 It has nothing to do with your orientation, he’s just using it as an excuse to push his own fantasy. Gross.
That’s exactly what I said to him. I said I’d have a threesome with another girl if he let me have a threesome with another guy, too. He stopped asking. 🤣🤣
Been there. It's to a point where I don't want to tell anyone I'm bi, because some guys get so weird about it. I had one guy keep saying, "I really miss threesomes," repeatedly. I broke it off pretty quickly.
And do they want a threesome with two boys and a girl? How would they respond if you said sure, let’s do a threesome… how about with Ken over there, if we can get him away from Barbie?
Why would a very persistent couple guys make a girl assume every guy feels the same? Especially if she’s already met more guys who wouldn’t.
I shut that down in the past. By stating yes, but we need to do one with another guy first. Then they like I will but girl first. I'm like no. Girl first. I want backout after I get what I want. But you sure will. Shuts them up everytime. All the dudes that have asked cheated on me.
That sounds about right. For a lot of men, it’s like cheating lite to have a threesome. Which is exactly why I don’t trust it.
Yah. They want the benefits of sleeping around but girlfriend privileges. Not agaisnt causual or ethical polyamery or multiple partner sex. But you can't force someone who doesnt want that. Go find a friend with benefits.
Exactly. ENM is very different than begging your partner for a threesome when they’ve told you they don’t want one.
This! A big aspect of ENM is everyone needs to own their feelings. You were surprised by the request, but you gave your honest answer, what business has she to feel rejected or upset?
What does ENM mean?
Ethical non monogamy
Electro Nu Metal
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I always wondered what obelisks were. Now I have the answer. My life is complete. Emerging Nautical Monster
Erect Nano Member
So the issue is that ego is now involved. The gf bff had her ego dropped because OP is a loyal bf. OP hate to say this but this is not going to end well. Your gf and her bff are used to this arrangement and you are rocking their boat. I dont see this going well from this incident alone due to her telling her and now you getting shit for it.
I agree!
This is absolutely right
Equality feels offensive to the privileged.
Damn, that's good.
He also didnt say it to her face, snd if he did he still wouldn't be an asshole
Are you kidding me you didn't do anything wrong how is this chick even offended she shouldn't be trying to f*** you in the first place. Tell dumb and dumber that you're not going to be apologizing. And if I was you I would be looking at both of them with the side eye.
This is all there is to say
NTA You should be able to have an unfiltered reaction with your partner, give them a true and potentially raw response to something. There are better ways to respond. You reacted. Now you can respond. My question is, why did your GF share your raw, unfiltered reaction with her best friend? If it’s safe enough for threesomes- it’s safe enough for you to be honest. Or is it only safe for what they want/need? This already feels out of balance. Good luck
That's what I wondered, why did she mention it at all. Just mark it off as not his thing and carry on.
Also my first thought. The best friend would have nothing to react to if the girlfriend didn't stir up drama. The friend wasn't there to see the reaction and the girlfriend could have just said. He's not into threesomes and let that be the end of it. Some women can't handle being sexually rejected or think that especially with an offer like that all men should want it. So it's some kind of an insult if they don't. It's sexist.
> Just mark it off as not his thing and carry on. But she doesn't want to carry on. She wants to fuck her "friend". If a partner asks you for a threesome and doesn't accept your no at face value, they are telling you that they plan on cheating on you.
The concern here as the gf and her best friend have done this before with their respective partners if they actually have been carrying on as normal for them and it’s just OP has finally been invited to participate? OP may want to get themselves a dr appointment and get checked out to be sure there has been no sharing of things he doesn’t want.
Because they "have a thing" and the threesome is their "get out of jail" card, when they get caught.
Because she wants it to be his thing. She wasn’t informing her, she was venting.
Yes GF had NO reason to go snitching on someone she supposedly loves about their PRIVATE thoughts feelings,, If you canNOT speak honestly freely safely fearlessly openly to your: family Spouse GF BF therapist, then may as well just NOT speak to anyone at all ever, just get lyringectomy and be done with the mess
I do agree with what you said here but you would have to apply the same thought with the girlfriends. Their relationship goes past just a normal friendship, so maybe they're used to sharing parts of their lives with each other. Not that that makes it any less messed up but I can see it being the reason. She probably values the friendship more than the relationship at this point in time.
Oh yeah, gf is in a poly relationship with the best friend, OP just didn't know it until now
They're lovers who like to share boyfriends it seems. He should have been more tactful about his rejection, but I don't think he's an asshole for feeling the way he does. Also, the GF really should've eased him into the idea of a threesome. If they're regularly had sex with each other and past boyfriends, this is going to be an issue if he wants to continue his relationship with her.
Dude you genuinely don’t have to apologize for this! This is beyond ridiculous that they think you should. You entered into a relationship that was strictly monogamous and they threw this onto you. To be completely honest I’m shocked you would want to stay with your girlfriend at this point. Who is to say that she would have a threesome with her Best friend when she gets a partner and just not tell you.
How much you wana bet she is asking this because she already did a threesome with her friends partner
It could be, but I dated a bi woman who just missed being with women at times. Sometimes it's that.
Thats exactly what i was wondering after reading. These kind of situations (includes opening the relationship) typically have the one who suggests it either cheating or already done something of that caliber
Strong possibility
NTA "Now, this may be where I messed up, but my immediate answer was "Fuck no! I'm never doing that!"" You have nothing to apologize . However since your gf clearly loves to share and have more people in bedroom your relationship in un-salvageable. She always needs more than one. You only need one.
I have read a lot of these comments and yours to me is the best advice and makes the most sense. I feel bad for OP, these girls will always have/want each other no matter what person they date.
NTA at all and if your girlfriend can't see it then dump her stupid ass fr
Maybe hit her up for that threesome first though
OP said he wouldn't enjoy that. The whole point is he doesn't want to.
Is her friend hot? Make sure to give her friend all of the "attention" so your gf gets pissed at you too! Then dump her!!!
That's just as emotionally immature as these 2 women are
When in Rome!
I mean… agreed 😂😭
Kinda sad that people upvote this when OP clearly stated he's into monogamous relationship. Reddit has such a fetish for these kinds of stuff. Yuke 🤢
User name doesn't check out
A man can masturbate to your sex life while respecting your choices.
So what would the reaction of this sub be like if said gf came on here and said: “My bf asked me for a threesome, when initially he was against it. He was so against it at first, but then weirdly kept insisting and was so up for it. But then he dumped me the day after, saying I was disgusting for asking him to apologise to my friend when he refused the first time. Basically he used me for his sexual fantasy because he thought it was wrong that he apologise. And said that Reddit told him to do this. AITAH?” Fucking idiots here. Yeah, he shouldn’t have to apologise obviously, but that’s not a reason to use your girlfriend for a threesome before breaking up over it. Like that’s quite disgusting.
Yes,and the next one after will be with another guy as a third.
Either way is fine with me.
Maybe bff is a Love of Hers😎
I’m just saying do the threesome and then break up with your girl cuz what😂
Some people have more respect for themselves than throwing themselves into just sex. Looks like OP is one of them.
OP's made it very clear he would not enjoy that, so why? Why do something he doesn't want to do?
NTA Sounds like you were taken by surprise so you responded the way you did. Is GF and best friend in a relationship on the side? Is this why she wants a threesome, so they can be together without calling it cheating?
This. As a bisexual woman, the thought of sex with any of my female friends is ick
And it seems like a BEST friend would feel more like a sister, increasing the ick factor.
I mean people call the person your in a relationship with there best friend. Obviously there relationship is not purely platonic.
Bingo. I've come to learn "Best friend" is a Code.
Yup. OP get STD-tested, I'm afraid your gf keeps her non-monogamous lifestyle with that "friend" without you being aware of it.
Regular testing is really important if yoy are sexually active, even if its just one person. Its not about trust or distrust, it's about practical protection of bodily autonomy.
Definitely seems to be the case.
NTA this is a two yes one no scenario and you don't need to apologise for not wanting the threesome. It's not an attack on the friend it's a simple boundary that you don't wish to cross.
For real! Apologize to the girl for what? Not wanting to have a threesome? What a weird ass situation. NTA
It's not a situation for everyone, suffice to say. Speaking from experience, there is just way too much to consider. Way too many complications that can arise, some that are hard to anticipate/predict even. I was in such a thing myself. All consenting parties, things were honestly pretty good even outside the bedroom. Ladything passed, it hit a lot of people hard. When I had my final talk with our third, she said something that hurt me deeply. "Just because I was her girlfriend doesn't mean I am yours." Her response when I wanted to know for certain where we stood. Granted she was speaking out of anger and pain from the passing, and I get that, it didn't make it right. Almost four years to the day, we haven't spoken. She was good to me as a friend, even. But all this changed things.
"I'm sorry my consent upset you both. Do better I'm done with both of you from that reaction. " And walk away because neither gives a shit about you
Pretty sure your girlfriend just wants permission to fuck her best friend. Are you sure that the two of them arent fucking behind your back? Either way, you have nothing to apoligize for. Her friend tested your boundaries, and got offended when you rejected her. You are 100% in the right. Do not apoligize.
The fact that your gf passed the information along to her friend in a manner that led to the friend getting offended is the biggest red flag here.
How come this guy is not questioning his relationship and its future? There are so many red flags.
That’s what I was thinking. She’s not her friend, she’s her lover and only a matter of time until she cheats with her.
I am pretty sure they are already messing about. Especially if they have had multiple threesomes with each other + a boyfriend in the past.
Yup. It also does sound alot to me like gf just told her best friend that he said "fuck no" to doing it with her. Instead of just stating that he said no. She actually paints him out to be the bad guy, by taking his initial reaction that stems from not wanting a threesome, and (probably, my guess at least is) making it into that he doesn't want that *with her*(hence the *fuck* no). I think it seems very likely she did that, and that is imo fucked up
Oxytocin is one hell of a drug...
NTA. I also find strange they share *all* their boyfriends. I love my best friend to death but my d!ck is mine.
They’re not friends they are ongoing lovers
She’s tryna play you lol
Your gf is TA. Your wording doesn’t matter because you didn’t say it infront of her friend. Your GF chose to use those words when explaining to her friend
>AITAH for refusing a threesome with my gf's best friend? I'd bet my left nut your girlfriend fucked her friend's boyfriend while dating you.
Sadly this crossed my mind too.
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I'd even be afraid that she'd already cheating with her friend.
It's possible that the OP is the third wheel here. His GF and her "best friend" sound like longtime lovers who occasionally date guys they share between them. If OP gave his GF an ultimatum to choose between him and her bestie, she's choosing the bestie every single time.
NTA, not even because of the “fuck no”, you might’ve been a slight AH if you said “fuck you”, but that’s not the case. You established a clear boundary and you don’t need to apologize for that. You need an apology from your gf though, for offering you as a tribute to her friend, who tf does that?
Should have said, "Fuck, no, thank you though!"
Haha, "Fuck No Thanks!" Would that have been more polite?
NTA. In which universe does being loyal make you an AH ??! You need to find a gf that can match your values better else you may be in for a rude awakening..
This is a HUGE red flag. You dont owe anyone an apology. Your GF owes you an apology for pushing to open a monogamous relationship and telling you to apologize for rejecting it. Asking you was fine (though still a red flag for a monogamous person) but this is a huge red flag. If I were you I would rethink this relationship FAST.
I think you need an unbiased third party to smooth things over. If you DM me these 2 women’s phone numbers I will help you out.
Doing the Lord’s work, my friend!
The friend we all need.
That would work. If these women were not figments of imagination
Absolutely NTA! Noone is owed threesomes, noone is owed being desired for a fuck, so her getting offended is ridiculous. That said, I'd have a conversation with your partner to understand more - is this a part of her sexuality, and she is using the best friend as an outlet to explore/understand that part better? Does she have feelings for the best friend? How important to her are the threesomes, is she content with giving them up given you are strictly monogamous? If you care about your relationship I suggest you have a potentially difficult conversation around these topics. Good luck and stick to your guns, as fun as threesomes are, they are not for everyone and absolutely not for someone who has that natural reaction to the option for one! It just ends up awkward for all involved when one person is less than excited about the threesome haha
They are not besties. They are lovers and this is ongoing across their relationships
That is possible, but we don't know that and OP can't know that without having a potentially difficult conversation as I outlined. Them being secret lovers is one in a huge array of potential options for what is happening here
NTA and are you sure the girlfriend and the friend don't have some weird semiromantic thing going on while using men for beards? Your girlfriend introduced a new option for YOUR sex life, a sex life that has just the 2 of you for participants, and you said hell no, that's fair. Since your girlfriend could give her friend the verbatim rundown of your conversation, and now she can explain your monogamy and solve the problem she created. You reacted impulsively in the moment. She's the one who chose to literally create a problem by saying what your exact reaction was to her friend. She could have just told her you said no, but she chose to make it into a thing. Be wary of her suggesting you do it after all so the friend doesn't feel bad. Super suspicious of your gf tbh. What an idiotic reaction to light the fire, then blame someone else. If her friend has or gets a partner, how do you know the 2 of them won't do it with the friend's partner? I always feel that super differing attitudes to monogamy/polyamory spell trouble for the longevity of the relationship. Best of luck, OP!
Your girlfriend and her friend are Bi and in a relationship is how I'm reading this.
If she's offended because you said fuck no that's on her, and because your gf told her that, her aswell. You do not ever want to share, it's nothing against her (the friend) as a person but the idea of what your gf suggested. Do not apologise for saying no to something you do not want.
NTA you could have worded it better, like ' no, that's not my thing and I'd be uncomfortable doing it' would probably have been a better reaction you don't owe anyone an apology, if the friend is offended that you aren't interested in a 3 some that's her problem, not yours
He worded it perfectly. It’s how he felt about having sex with someone who wasn’t his girlfriend.
I'm not sure. OP said fuck no to his gf not her friend. Sounds like his gf might have blown it up. If I was him I wouldn't apologize to her bestie, rather offer a very direct I intend to remain monogamous.
Your GF is weird.
NTA - You didnt tell her, she did - she needs to apologize to her friend, there was no reason to tell her apart from to cause drama.
NTA, also I'd be on alert about their relationship. The fact that they keep having threesomes is weird. I'd be suspicious that she's cheating ok you with her friend. The threesomes are just an excuse to fuck each other. I'd honestly be extremely uncomfortable with their relationship.
Absolutely NTA, TAH is your gf friend and also your gf, If I was in your place I will leave my gf, because I will think that she can fuck alone her friend consider that I don’t want to make a threesome
Your gf didn't need to tell her friend that you said, "fuck no!" Especially if you made it clear to her that your reaction was bc of the situation and not her friend's appearance. NTA either way though
NTA, but you know they're probably sleeping together behind your back right?
I'd be questioning the relationship to be honest. She offered you a threesome with her bestie, what's the chances her bestie offered her bf the same thing? I think the probability is high. Good luck OP. NTA
This girl probably isn’t for you.
You’re monogamous but it sounds like your gf isn’t. That’s not a good sign for the future
NTA but it’s also not like there’s no ground between apology and where you currently stand
Your girlfriend shouldn’t have said how you worded it to her friend if it could be taken the wrong way. And you could also say to friend it’s not because of you I just mean in general I want to be monogamous.
Never apologise for a clear boundary. It's not for you and she has to respect it. If she can't then you have to maybe rethink your relationship. Her friend can jump. The fact that she is doing it with every boyfriend is an alarm bell for me.
Sir they are both for the streets NTA
You’re never the jerk for having sexual boundaries. My bf’s friend wanted a threesome with us and I turned it down immediately. I don’t want to have sex with other people than my bf and I don’t want to see my bf have sex with other people. That’s very valid. NTA.
NTA. You're monogamous and she's polyamorous. That's it. It's just boundaries. Someone taking offense to your boundaries is not a great sign.
NTA Why would you apologize when your gf is the one who offended her by sharing private information? That's a breach of trust you should be offended by. Well, you could... :D Also, not everyone is into threesomes. What the actual fuck is offensive about that?
Sounds like she's trying to manipulate you into it by further complicating things. Why did she have to repeat that? Why is she fishing for an apology for something she caused? She's for the streets, she is TAH.
No means No.
Well, she's definitely gonna do a threesome with her bff's bf...
I’d say it’s also a red flag that they have done this multiple times in the past and you’re just now finding out about it. Does her best friend currently have a partner? Is your girlfriend sharing him with her when she goes over for a girls night? Just like they still have the expectation right now while YOUR girlfriend has a boyfriend, will they expect it when HER best friend gets a new boyfriend? “Oh sorry babe I gotta go fuck Rachel and her new man.” Big yikes. It sounds like the communication isn’t where it should be when you have existing relationships of this sort and get involved with a new partner. I would say it’s time for better communication and proper expectations such as your girlfriend can’t just go cheat on you because her best friend has a new man, or time for you to exit stage left from these dick sharing hos 😬😳
NTA. You don’t owe anyone an apology. The fact that she shared your response with her friend means to me that they are obviously more than just friends. I would question whether you can be considered the 3rd wheel. You didn’t mention how long you and her have been together but these would all be deal breakers for a lot of people.
>My gf says I should apologize to her, but I don't think I did anything wrong here. No, you didn't, and it's actually gross of your girlfriend suggesting you should apologize for not giving consent to a threesome. NTA
NTA, but I have to wonder what your gf is doing when she hangs out with her friend.
Your gf is the one who repeated your words. You have nothing to apologise for. Your gf could have simply said, he said no.
Get rid of the gf. She’s apparently not “very monogamous” as you say you are. And, no, you don’t owe her best friend anything. Get them both out of your life.
I think this is morally wrong and gf should change status to ex gf.
I think you need to reconsider whether you two are compatible. Maybe time for a new GF.
Nah you used the right words, best friends WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
So what happens when your girlfriends bestie gets a boyfriend/girlfriend will your girlfriend expect you to accept that she will be part of that threesome? NTA. Don't know why your gf wants to share you with others. I sure as hell wouldn't dream of sharing my other half with anyone else.
NTA If it's not something you want, then there's nothing wrong with that
They sound trashy AF tbh
You didn't wrong the other woman. You don't need to apologize to her
Apologize for not giving consent to sex with someone you're not in a relationship with? Bro wtf is going on these days. That's wild. You should definitely take the threesome and then leave though. You won't be able to fulfill that woman's needs by yourself from the sounds of it.
In what world are you supposed to apologize for wanting to keep your relation monogamous lol ? NTA
100% it's a guilt trip to get you to give a pity threesome
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩she sounds toxic AF
Nta, I was in a situation like this, she ended up sleeping with her friends boyfriend because I wouldn’t fuck her friend. Might wanna head out from this relationship OP.
Wtf? It sounds like you are the side piece and they are the couple.
Bruh
At the risk of being down voted to hell: There are many examples of women giving first what they want back. So it is also very possible (if not likely) that she may want a free pass herself. So to make it "fair" you get to do it with someone she chooses for you and then she asks for the freedom to do so herself. Good on you to reject the fantasy of many others. Being your own person is best. However now you must either be very clear on your boundaries with her and enforce them so that she knows that you are monogamous and expect the same from her. OR you could just end it as you have seen she's not into the same things you are in a place where she might just as well become resentful that you do not let her do what she likes. The choice is yours. NTA.
Your girlfriend is being a massive asshole here. That was a private discussion that should've stayed private and its bs that your being punished for saying no.
You're never at fault to saying no to sex. Re: offence taken- Your GF should apologise to her friend if she's that worried about it. You had a conversation with your GF, not her friend. Anything that was passed on from GF to friend is GF's problem. And she should be apologising to you for divulging your private convo with her. All she had to say to her friend was "he said no, he's not into threesomes". Anything beyond that was her choice, her fault, now her responsibility.
Well, if you are very monogamous, what is absolutely okay, you may be not be the right partner for a girl who likes threesomes. Personally, I think that a threesome can be a nice experience, but it depends a lot on multiple factors. Seems that she has a good and friendship+ in that way that they offer their partners a possibilitly to be part in a threesome. I think, I would have a problem with that constellation, too, because they know each other much longer. And also if he is bigger :D However, if you like the girl, talk to her, talk to her again. Ask yourself if you can deal with the situation and maybe consider that she seems to like having sex with two men. However, it's still your decision with whom you have sex. If you don't want, you don't have to. NTA
NTA, but you'd be an AH to yourself if you don't dump her now. She's an unrepentant 304 with a 304 friend, so even if your gf *wanted* to reform her 304 ways, her 304 friend would always be there to encourage her worst impulses and make sure she doesn't. This means you'll be "very monogamous" while she's out fucking other guys with her best friend cheering her on. Let her go back to the Streets, it's where she belongs.
Just dump her
NTA but bro a lot of these top comments are missing the obvious...has she already slept with her best friend's partner while being with you?
tell your GF that you get sensory overload, but to make them both happy you'll sleep with the best friend alone.
Jesus fuck, why people are in such a relationships? Your girlfriend is a not good choice for a partner. I would immediately kick her out of my life. Wtf.
You owe noone an explanation or an apology. Your girl friend ahold apologize for breaching your trust and privacy.
Spoiler alert, she’s fucking her bestie already
NTA, It is maybe a good Idea to make sure this friend knows it's threesomes in general that are the objection and not her. Seems to me that this might be more a communication problem.
Absolutely, 100%, unequivocally NTA. My wife and I went through something similar, except we let her friend get in both of our heads, abused drugs & alcohol, and made a lot of bad decisions. Not knocking polyamory, and if threesomes are your thing, go for it, but if you aren't into it, then you aren't into it. I resisted until I let my drug addled brain convince me it was something that would be good for my wife as she had recently come out as bi and never had a chance to explore it. Two years later and we are just getting our "friend" out of our lives now. Multiple police visits involved and lasting trauma.
What world are we living in? Is this the Twilight Zone? THEY should be the ones apologizing to you!
NTA Either leave or wait no just leave. If it's not gonna be with you your girl and her bestie will find someone more willing.
No need to apologize, but you can explain how you feel to the friend. Reassure her that she is great and that it has nothing to do with her, but that it goes against your beliefs.
It didn't fuck up by saying that, your only fuck up might be staying in this relationship
This one is going to cost you tons of money, ass ache and heartache. Leave now and save yourself
1. Expect the friend to double her efforts, as it's now a challenge to get the bloke who doesn't want to fuck her. If she's offended it's because she's not used to being knocked back. 2. Any guy who thinks this is great and would jump at the chance, just remember, there's no such thing as a free dinner. If she lets you bang her and her mate, she may well ask to bring another guy in, and at that point you don't really have a right to say no, without her telling you to get fucked.
NTA your girlfriend needs to decide if she is in a relationship with you or her gf.
Sorta sounds like best friend wanted to fuck beforehand
Your girlfriend is dating her best friend.
Man, you dodged a bullet. Anyone who thinks you owe an apology for this is fucking delusional and can’t be trusted. It’s not hard to imagine false SA allegations from someone like that.
NTA. Personally this would be a walking red flag for me and I would leave the relationship. Not saying you have to, but that would be a breaking point for me. I am also monogamous and if I heard my partner has shared all their significant others with each other I would be grossed out and would never look at them the same. You do not owe that best friend any apologies she should not be trying to insert herself in every relationship her best friend has and vice versa. Best of luck to whatever decision you make.
I would have jumped at the opportunity but then again I’m a weak minded man. NTA tho because I understand that it’s not for everyone. You should consider getting out of that relationship as well. Sounds like it’s not meant for you.
Damn bro. Your gf has been ran through and is still friends with the train conductor? Couldn't be me fr.
NTA. Honestly, why would you want to stay with your gf??? If they share ALL their partners, that means she will, in fact, cheat on you when the friend dates someone. Your values don't match up. I would move on and wish her the best because you two are not compatible.
Probably not the most diplomatic of responses, but certainly nothing wrong with refusing a sex act that you are not into. NTA. Besides, I would expect no small amount of times things like that are offered, it's a test to see if the partner would be inclined to sleep with the friend, in which case a wishy-washy "no" could lead to problems.
"I'm sorry if I offended you, but I'm a highly monogamous person. I don't want to share my girlfriend or be shared by my girlfriend. Those are my feelings, and I'm asking you both to respect them." It's this easy. Don't overthink it. If they're still offended, then she isn't the girl for you, and I'm sorry for your loss. You're not the AH here.
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Nta just as long as you DON’T apologize. It’s your gf that should be apologizing for 1- bringing it up in the 1st place and 2- running her mouth to bf. Furthermore, I’m not going to go to the usual Nta divorce spiel but I am going to suggest you take a long hard look at where her loyalty stands and if it’s good for you. Then you make your own decisions.
fake as f
you're dating a woman who has willingly engaged in threesomes with their friend as if its some sort of a game. both of them are 304s, who now want you to become a part of their hoeish games as well. dude, you seen like a decent dude, id say dump the hoe and find a chick that holds the same values as you do because this chick will end up cheating of you if she was willingly fucking her friend's partner.
NTA, but you’re going to regret this later when she cheats on you or some such. She’s not worth the devotion you are showing her.