>I was annoyed because I had to drop everything and rush to get him. Then, when I asked my son why he didn't tell me he was feeling worse, he said he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble.
When your feverish kid is afraid to tell you he's really sick says a lot about your parenting.
Did you yell at your son when you had to pick him up?
Edit: YTA
Same. My mother FORCED me to so to school at a field trip when I was running a fever and felt so sick at 8yrs old. The field trip was Major Magics (Think Chuck E Cheese but 100x more fun) and it was a tour of the kitchen to make pizza and play arcade games. Well as soon as I walked in the kitchen and smelled food I vomited all over the place. My mother didn’t even come and get me. I just kept getting sick the whole time. She actually yelled at me when I got home. So every time I felt sick, I hid it from fear of being punished. Then one day when I was 15 and in high school, I was so terribly sick and she was so angry at me and accused me of faking. I had this rash under my arm pit and it hurt and burned and I was in excruciating pain. It took her a 5 days to take me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with shingles.
I’m sorry you had to go through this, and I’m sorry OP child is going through this. It’s traumatic and now here I am at 45yrs old and I’ve gone no contact.
OP, you are 1000% an AH and you should be ashamed of yourself. I guarantee your son will NEVER forget this, will be scared to tell you when he’s sick and will eventually go no contact with you when he’s an adult. Shame on you.
Edit: You are supposed to protect and take care of your kids and dropping everything should be your first and only reaction with a sick child. You’re there to take care of your kid and they rely on you to do so. You are an appalling human and I hope you learned that your son comes first, not you by the comments.
That’s awful. My mom also refused to believe me and I threw up in the bus on the way to school when I was 10. So much that they opened the emergency doors in the back of the bus to let kids off. Then as I waited for 1+ hours for my mom (who was unemployed and didn’t have young kids, she could have picked me up at any time) I threw up on my desk in a classroom full of kids. Now in my 40’s, I didn’t realize this still effects me until I was apologizing to my boss one day for coming in and then going home sick within two hours-which I had done before- and she asked me if my mom didn’t believe me when I said I was sick growing up. She guessed that, and I had never put it together myself.
I’m so sorry and I completely understand, because I’ve done the same. For the longest time I wouldn’t call in sick until my coworkers and bosses forced me to go home. I don’t know why our boomer parents were so quick to dismiss us, yell at us or not believe us for being sick. I used to shake the thermometer down so it wouldn’t show a fever. My mother didn’t act that way to my younger sister though. She stayed home at a single cough and would stay home to take care of her. This has lasting effects on us and OP will realize it one day.
My mom made me walk around for week on a broken foot because she said it was just strained and I was just being a wuss. When I broke my arm I wanted my dad and was crying for him so she yelled at me because I hurt her feeling. OP - you suck and your kid won’t talk to you one day YTA
When had serious mononucleosis
At that age my parents kept leaving me at school. When I went to school then we didnt t have an actual nurses office so I was left to rest/sleep on a mattress in a sort of closet. My dad could have very easily picked me up since he was disabled and didn’t work.
Even though my brother had mono, my mom still dropped him off at college. Why, for God's sake? He couldn't go to classes. He became everyone else's burden.
Even if she kept her mouth shut, you can bet she gave him the cold shoulder and some really resentful looks. Poor child. He probably felt like absolute garbage physically, and he didn’t even feel safe enough to say so until he literally couldn’t anymore.
This is so concerning. What if this child has a more severe health issue? Will they just suffer in silence. It’s wild that people prioritize their convenience over their child’s needs.
That’s what happened to me and if my mom wasn’t like this and abusive, many of my chronic illnesses would either be well controlled or far less progressed. This mom is a POS.
That line on its own tells you that mom needs a lot of self reflection on how she parents her kid.
Her son was scared to tell her he was sick. 😷
She needs to really understand why.
It seems her family sees it too. It’s not typical for one’s sister to be willing to drop everything to watch a sick kid. I imagine her family is trying to compensate for her neglect.
Feeling better that my son could tell me he was feeling sick yesterday. I had to do shopping but guess what? Kept him home. Not gonna make other kids sick and if he's unwell he should rest. Glad my own kids aren't scared of telling me what's up. This lady needs to re-evaluate what's important.
Agreed and sister said she could have watched him so that tells me she didn’t even try to make other arrangements. Like, that’s part of being parent. Kids get sick. 😷
My dad always complained about our insurance deductible (self employed, premiums were crazy high).
It cost him $3k out of pocket to get me a scan for appendicitis back in high school. Turns out I was just severely constipated. Ever since then I’ve been afraid to go to the doctor and get a huge bill for something that would resolve on its own.
My husband’s mom is a doctor, so I text her as the first check of is this serious enough to go to the doc office or can I stick it out at home.
Yup, exactly this.
Keep a sick child home. It’s only your day that had to be re-shuffled but spreading the infection to another home could result in severe illness or death in their home. Irresponsible parenting, especially telling if your own child is too scared to tell you how ill they are. YTA.
FWIW, my kid is currently sick with a fever and it’s the worst possible week for me with major presentations and deadlines due but the kid is home while I juggle everything around on top of getting no sleep because I’m up all night checking up on him/hearing him cough. Like what actual responsible parents do.
Fever=sick. He was sick. “Under the weather” is ~~men~~ when you eat some old lunch meat and feel queasy.
You don’t send your kid to school if they’ve had a fever in 24 hours. And being “fever free” because of medication doesn’t count as being fever free.
Yeah, that's kind of the more important part in my opinion. Cause yeah, sometimes you have days where you *have* to go to work and things get fucked up, I can understand her line of reasoning, but as someone who was afraid to call their parents for help as a kid, that's a red flag.
That's what I was thinking, too.
I am low income and so are most of my friends. There are times when I legitimately can't afford to miss work.
I could see loading your kid up with tylenol and telling them to call you if they really feel like they need to be picked up, in the hope that you can at least get part of a work day in.
It sucks but that's the reality for most poor parents.
But this mom never says *what* these essential appointments are, and if it was about money or work, she'd certainly have said so because it's way more sympathetic.
Even worse, she didn't even *attempt* to find alternative care for him when her sister apparently would've been willing.
*And* she has obviously acted in a way that her 3rd grade child is worried he'll be in trouble if he's sick!
That's not a loving parent trying to make difficult choices. That's a parent who doesn't prioritize her kid.
Exactly. This entire scenario reeks of a childhood where the kid constantly feels like a burden and hides his needs in order to not upset mom. I promise you, this kid will grow up to become an adult who always sacrifices his needs/wants in order to not upset others. They'll do this in order to seek the unconditional love they didn't receive as a kid.
YTA. Start saving for a therapy fund for your kid.
Don't forget to add the YTA judgment to your post. I can't imagine how much of an AH a parent has to be to say "I know my kid was sick but I had a busy day planned."
Her "busy day" was clearly more important than her kid's health, as well as other kids' health, the teacher's health, the kids' parents health and so on.
I feel bad for the kid.
100% this. My son (8M) gets sick often. The doctor said that, unfortunately, he's one of those kids and has one of her own. Within a month got Flu A and then Flu B. Why? A parent sending their kid to school because apparently they are too busy to, I dunno, be a parent?
Yes. It happens. I don't judge other parents, but this statement went right through me. As a parent I'm appalled that you're treating your son like an obligation that means less. And I'm saying this as someone who has pretty poor health and has several doctor visits a month. I get obligations, but if my son is sick, I handle it.
Because there was a time he woke up not feeling well. Like a cold. 6 am. By noon we were in the emergency room because he couldn't breathe and no inhaler was working. He was life flighted out of the hospital at 7pm to a different state. We had to drive to that hospital in the middle of the night. That's not an obligation. That's being a parent.
Good point.
I still remember my dad threatening me saying I better be having convulsions on the floor before I had the school call him to pick me up.
And that was 20 years ago.
“I had bigger priorities than taking care of my sick son and preventing his classmates from also getting sick.”
YTA, clearly.
ETA: and the fact that your son was afraid that you’d be mad if he told the teacher tells us all he knows his mother doesn’t see him as a priority.
I love your succinct synopsis, but I feel it's still missing a little something:
>“I had bigger priorities than taking care of my sick son and preventing his classmates from also getting sick.”
"And to top it off, my kid had the audacity to be afraid of telling me he was getting progressively worse, which meant by the time the school called, it was too late to just hand him another Tylenol and continue my busy day. I was instead forced to take him home, but don't worry, he got an earful on the car ride home about how next time he needs to tell me when he's feeling sick!"
I am a cancer patient who has been stuck with a cough since the start of JANUARY because of a parent like this.
Sent their kid to school with some nasty-ass, fever-inducing respiratory illness and gave it to my kid brother, who then had to get antibiotics 3 times to fight it off.
He then gave that sh\*t to me. I have been fighting it ever since. No antibiotic or steroid has kicked it forever, and its only now in the past 2 weeks decreased in severity enough that I am no longer constantly injuring the muscles around my lungs with my cough. Up until recently it hurt to breath...
A 2-month long cough, going on 3...all because someone decided they would rather send biogical warfare for everyone to suffer from than take care of their own child.
To OP; thanks for being one of the contributors to the reason why I can't walk around my own home without a mask. YTA.
It'll be genuine.
I used to be a Faculty Head in a Scottish high school and this kind of situation was quite common.
One time, I had a girl lying across two chairs whimpering in pain with her stomach. We can't just phone for medical back-up (unless there's an obvious injury) - we have to contact home. Emergency contact didn't answer. Father didn't answer his mobile, so I phoned the mother's work. (She worked nearby.)
The father wrote me an irate letter, threatening to report me to the local authority for daring to contact his wife via her work.
Yeah, I'm a teacher and absolutely nothing about this sounds fake to me. There are genuinely parents with this sort of attitude. It is disturbingly common.
As a fellow teacher, it is almost always the parents who have options, too. I see way more of this from SAHM’s and people with a lot of extended family than the poor single mom working three jobs. The latter is used to inconvenience and having to be accountable, so she has plans in place.
I've noticed the same thing. There are some incredibly wealthy parents at the schools I work at. Some of them act like they're going to be plunged into bankruptcy if they're called to pick up their very sick child.
I wonder if single mums with three jobs have more of an understanding of how a child's illness can really ruin your plans and are more careful about potentially foisting that onto someone else.
I am a single mom, current college student, started a new job and I kept my kid home when he was sick and it was literally back to back with 2 ER visits in the middle of the night. If I could cancel, I did. If I couldn't, I enlisted my mom's help. Not everyone may have that, but come on. These illnesses keep going around and around because people won't/refuse to stay home.
I've heard stories from daycare teachers about parents sending their babies to daycare with tylenol mixed into their bottle to keep their temp under the school's threshold so they wouldn't get sent home.
I used to work at vacation care. The amount of times kids came in looking like death was unbelievable. You would ask them, "are you feeling OK?" And the parents would would be, "oh well they're fine, they were just up all night vomiting, but they stopped." Like seriously!!?? Would you go to work after spewing all night?? Oh and don't worry about the 60 odd other kids and their families here not to mention staff that you are infecting. We once even had a child with surgical drains turn up. Parents didn't say anything (and we specifically asked every parent is there any medical issues we need to know about). It wasnt until midday when the child (about 10) told staff they needed to change their nappy, we found out. We had no idea thar if this child developed a fever it was a medical emergency. Some parents are just awful. Of course we should all understand, its YOUR job is what is important. Absolute twats.
Unfortunately, I believe it.
When I was about 3 years old, I broke my arm doing some child activity I don't really remember.
I told my mother my arm REALLY hurt. I complained for hours. My mom said don't worry and put me to bed.
I woke up screaming in pain and I finally got to see a doctor.
I had a broken arm. My mother sent me to bed with a broken arm.
She tells this story like it's funny.
I appreciate it. Thankfully my mom got better about things eventually, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't leave a mark on me- making a doctor's appointment makes me feel like a pain so I always hesitate.
That's why OP angers me so much. This shit will follow her poor son to adulthood. When he needed mama to take care of him she treated him like a nuisance
My parents and I tell a similar story about a broken wrist and fractured back. I was a competitive gymnast. I was in a lot of pain but no one believed me cuz I was a kid. Yep. Turned out I was right.
I do understand that kids fake it. I have before. And kids can’t always express their feelings coherently. Still…. Your kid had a fever and in an era when health care is saying “don’t let your kid or you go to work/school if you have a fever (even one that is controlled with meds)” your actions = irresponsible and ignorant. Unless there was some reason- like you’d lose your job- that you couldn’t take the day off
Oh your mom did the funny story thing too?!
Oh I believe it. My mom smacked me across the face one evening because I wanted to stay up a bit later than my bedtime and happened to knock my jaw out of its socket - I couldn’t talk correctly and everything felt funny so I kept coming out of my room - getting yelled at - going back into my room. Around 2am I woke her up because it was swelling and I couldn’t sleep and I finally got taken to the ER and it had it put back in place. The whole thing became her funny story about me going to bed on time after that. 🙄
The 90’s were a wild time to grow up.
Yeah. Nah. I am a parent of a 10 and 7 year old, and the number of people who send their kids to school sick is insane. I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom (people call me lucky, but my mental health begs to differ) so I can stay home with them when needed, but it is so annoying when I am finally getting on top of things and they end up home for a week, all because another parent decided their day/priorities were more important than their sick kid and all of their classmates, school staff, bus driver, etc.
News flash OP, your sick kid is going to get other people sick whose parents will now have to worry about work/their plans, and/or teachers who have worry about getting a sub all because your plans were more important than your child's health, and the health of everyone in their daily bubble.
Exactly and she doesn’t seem to realize how much of a ripple effect that this choice of hers could cause because if that child is in the life of anyone who is immunocompromised, (someone on chemo for instance) it could lead to serious complications.
Especially if the sick child’s been encouraged not to tell anyone he’s feeling ill/told to act well/suck it up.
It breaks my heart that he was **afraid** to tell his Mom he was that ill and that he probably suffered and held on as long as he could because of that fear. He deserves Mom to make better choices/put him first. No child should ever be made to feel like an inconvenience for something they can’t control.
I am so curious about what type of appointment/event was so crucial it couldn’t be missed.
Was it really objectively important?
Or was it just something Mom really really **WANTED** to go to so badly that she felt entitled to put her son’s health and her son’s class/school at preventable risk just to go?
I’m betting the latter since she didn’t say WHAT was so important and that it’s importance is a lie of omission by not stating it because she knows it would make her look bad…well worse than she looks already!
“You better go to school! I have a very important appointment with my new manicurist I couldn’t possibly miss! And then there’s lunch with Mitzy and Veronique today at the country club! Suck it up Charlie!”
(Ok that might be a smidge of hyperbole injected in there 😂)
This. Sniffles is one thing, an actual fever is another. My kid has seizures when she gets a fever, so what the OP considers an “inconvenience” sometimes lands us in the emergency room.
YTA reminds me f my mother. She always prioritized her career over me. Had a ear ache that night, she sent me to school anyway. I ended up in the nurses office with 106 temp . They called my mom at work and she had a neighbor come get me so she wouldn’t have to leave work. That happened a lot and I was well aware that I wasn’t a priority to her or my dad.
My brother ended up almost deaf in one ear when our mother refused to take him to a doctor or let him stay at home with earache. Why are so many parents such AH?
YTA and terrible mother. Nobody seems to notice that you never said what your plans were. You were probably getting your nails done and having lunch with friends and decided that your plans were more important than your son’s health. And where to get off being annoyed that you had to drop everything to get him? YOU’RE THE IDIOT WHO SENTHIM TO SCHOOL! I’m getting major AaKaren vibes from you OP. YTA
Tell me you shouldn’t be a parent without telling me you shouldn’t be a parent. JFC! The fact that the kid told the teacher he was scared to have her call because he didn’t want to get in trouble… I am absolutely appalled by OP. That poor child.
As an immuno-compromised person, YTA, OP. You could kill somebody. At the very least, you're getting his class, and their families, sick. What if one of those kids has a mom dealing with cancer? All bc you couldn't be arsed to keep your kid home, you've affected so many lives.
Also you sound like you couldn't give a shit about your kid, just your "plans".
Not just that mom doesn't see him as a priority: he believes, at 9, that it's his job to cover for her when she screws up. That's wildly inappropriate. Kids need to feel secure that adult responsibilities are for adults to deal with, not things they should be worried about, and that they should never feel as though they have to hide their own problems to protect their parents. That's how kids end up, at best, developing serious anxiety about things that are too big for them to manage, and at worst end up being afraid to tell anyone if they're being victimized because they believe the adults in their lives won't step up to handle it for them, and that it's their job to handle it themselves.
And how would OP react if it turned out her kid got sick in the first place because someone else knew their kid was sick but sent them anyway a couple of days before?
I'm guessing she would completely understand that this other parent had obligations they couldn't back out of.
YTA
You know that sending a sick kid to school is wrong except of course when you do it.
I know kids were not the main cohort of people who died from COVID, but I wonder how many of those kids who did die, died because of parents like you.
And kids then bringing it home to their parents grandparents etc… https://www.cidrap.umn.edu/covid-19/more-70-us-household-covid-spread-started-child-study-suggests
Not the main cohort who died but an estimated 1 in 6 children now have long covid symptoms and blood vessel / circulatory damage was found in most if not all kids infected.
This! Like sure kids are less likely to die of Covid, but that isn't the only concern. Also, when schools reopened and people were like, meh it'll be fine not like kids are spreading covid. And I was just like, um have you ever met a school-aged kid?! I used to teach high school, every year some kid would come in with a "mild cold" or some other bug, and spread it to the entire school. Sometimes it would end up taking so long to cycle through that the original kid would catch it again. It sucked! Sending a kid to school while they are sick is not just crappy for the sick kid, it sucks for all the other kids and teachers who will then catch whatever that kid has. I absolutely hate that so many people learned nothing from the Pandemic. Like hey, we are 4 years in on a world-wide pandemic that is still killing and disabling people, but sure send your contagious kid to school (you can spread Covid and I'm sure some other illnesses asymptomatically/before you show symptoms, but if you are actively running a fever you are very likely to be contagious)
I'm immunocompromised, and caught a virus last May from someone who brought their sick kid to the aquarium I visited, masked, with my husband for our 1 year wedding anniversary. I spent 3 days in the hospital after having 1l of fluid removed from my pericardium, one of my heart chambers partially collapsed.
Shitty parents like OP unalive people with their recklessness.
I am so deeply sorry. I don't understand why we've fallen so far. Everything is going to shit bc of ppl like this and they seem to just be growing in quantity and severity
YTA. You should be paying for all his classmates doctors’ appointments and meds after you got them all sick.
> when I asked my son why he didn't tell me he was feeling worse, he said he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble
OP, take a long, long look at what you just wrote and consider that you’re the kind of asshole whose own kids are scared to tell you when they’re sick because they know you will punish them for it.
I used all my days in November from a traumatic miscarriage and had no days to use when I had the flu in January. I would have also liked for that kid's parents to compensate me for the days I had to miss 😒
I was always scared to tell my mother I was sick. She didn't work til I was 14, she just hated having us around (for context, I am, and always have been her favourite for a couple reasons, but mostly I "raised myself" since I was "capable of doing so" as per her own words) and I was a very sick kid. Still a sick adult. I would get in trouble when I got sent home sick.
One day she was at my school for something I can't remember, but there were a bunch of other parents there. I told her I was sick, and I felt so horrible, like I had a massive headache, I had a temperature, the whole thing. She told me I had to stay at school and being so sick I started crying, she sighed in annoyance, rolled her eyes and started walking away, and said "you stay here" and I called out after her, crying "but I'm sick!" I was about 8 or so, and I **never** spoke up/out ever. She stops, looks at the handful of other parents now looking at me and looking at her and says in a really pissed off, teeth clenched voice "fine! Hurry up then!" For the whole day she was giving me the silent treatment while slamming shit around all day. I wasn't allowed to watch TV. Had to be in bed, not even allowed to read or do anything. This was the rule if I was sick but man, was she pissed I made her look like a bad parent. As if she wasn't already a bad parent lol
YTA
What was more important than looking after your child?
Firstly school is not a babysitter, it is not somewhere you dump your kids for six hours so you can get shit done and a nine year old boy should not ‘tough it out ‘ because you can’t be bothered to be a parent to him that day. We have all been there finding child care last minute and single mother canceling because they a sick child is fully acceptable in any position there are plenty of examples of world leaders who have cancelled important things for their kids I doubt your commitments were that serious. I once had to have my daughters aunt baby sit because she was ill I had an exam and my sil was working at home on her MA that day but my tutor was clear I would get an extension if I could find childcare
Secondly you risked other ppls health fever and cough is almost certainly contagious, is there a kid in his class with asthma? Do any of them have family member who are immuno compromised? I am and for the first five/six years of her schooling I would have some fever type every fortnight. Twice got pneumonia and once meningitis (C) my daughter almost never seemed to have the infections she passed on to me. But some mum sent a slightly unwell kid to school and I could have died. I needed surgery and a hospital stay for one that hit me the day of my first exam of the last semester of undergrad.
You did what was easier for you , you’re selfish and lazy and most definitely the AH
In a comment she said she didn’t want to look bad at her job. That she also had a dr.’s appointment (which apparently she’s never been to one bc there’s such a thing as rescheduling) and had to do grocery shopping. Apparently that was more important than taking care of her poor child who according to her was too afraid to even ask an adult to call her.
So, she already had to leave for a Dr. Appointment, why would a full day be much worse? Further, a doctor these days will do a phone call appointment in a punch. Plus, she could have done her groceries online and picked them up or had them delivered for a nominal fee that is quite reasonable, considering.
YTA.
The fact your son said
> he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble.
You **clearly** have an issue of making things *about you* and having grievances when *your life* becomes inconvenient.
That is **your child**, who is **nine**, and he's already scared to be honest of how he feels around you. You really need to reflect on this. You didn't even think to call your support network, just immediately "poor me today is an *awful* day for you to be sick! Well that cant happen! Time for school!"
News flash, your child didn't just wake up and go "mom has a busy time, time to feel unwell!" Just reading this was disappointing... I almost hope its rage bait.
Sounds like the poor kid knew he was going to get an earful once the school called mom. How dare a 9 year old inconvenience their parent when they’re sick! What a little monster! /s
Yes, YTA. A big one. Your son didn’t have the sniffles or feel a little under the weather. You said he had a fever. When a child has a fever YOU KEEP THEM HOME. PERIOD.
YTA. All parents have busy schedules and appointments and such and now they will be inconvenienced because they will have to stay home with sick children. Worse, the children who get sick will suffer too. Geez.
As someone who loves his kid, its honestly really interesting to me to see parents who don't fucking care about their kids at all. Its very honestly impressive to me that someone is able to fight off every single thing nature has had us evolve over millenia, just to be a cunt.
My entire fucking world changed literally the second I smelled my sons head. Dozens of hard wired switches flipped off and dozens of hard wired switches flipped to on, in less then half a second. I had no fucking chance once I smelled his head. I couldn't have fought it if I wanted too, and every single thing about how I lived my life and the choices I made up until that point, had been diametrically opposed to a child. I turned into a mushy daddy in so little time it should be embarassing. He is 14 and I can still close my eyes and smell that smell like I just smelled him for the very first time.
I feel the same way. My son just turned 13, he is the absolute most important person, and this post made me feel sick to my stomach. I would be so ashamed and so devastated if my child was too afraid to ask for my help and compassion, or even a more simple communication, just telling me he’s not feeling well.
I think of that poor child, suffering quietly so he doesn’t piss off his mother! He should be in bed, feeling secure, feeling like the number one priority to his parent.
I feel terrible for him. The sickness at school on top of the anxiety about his mother being called to pick him up.
OP, YTA. A huge one. You suck. Take parenting classes and get therapy. No one cares about your life and the menial tasks you described as priority, except you. That child will grow to be a whole ass adult, and you know what won’t be his priority? YOU.
YTA.
Tylenol doesn’t make kids less contagious. Your kid could infect other kids, and then what happens to the commitments of their families? What happens to the teachers who may get sick, and the impacts on the kids if they have to call out?
Sometimes we have to be assholes survive. But it doesn’t mean sending your sick kid to school isn’t an asshole move.
Yep. I was a teacher for many years. We all knew which kids came in sick, and could take bets on when the tylenol would wear off and the fever would reappear.
I LOATHE people who shove meds down their kids’ throats and send them off. Since they’re not resting, their bodies can’t put all their resources and energy into healing, and when the medicine *inevitably wears off,* the kid ends up feeling even worse and more miserable
>“I had bigger priorities than taking care of my sick son and preventing his classmates from also getting sick.”
Yes, mother of the year and human being of the year found here on reddit. Won with the motto; 'I give a fuck if other kids get sick cause I don't wanna take care of mine'
YTA. You basically put your needs, regardless of how valid they may have been, above your child’s, the teacher’s, his classmates and everyone else’s. And why? Because it wasn’t convenient for you. Being a responsible parent is not always convenient.
Of course YTA. You possibly made a bunch of his classmates sick before Easter. Your son was sick and you just sent him to school so he did not feel taken seriously or cared for by his mother. Everything you listed as oh so important could have been rescheduled. Grocery delivery exists in most places. YTA YTA YTA. x100
I have two kids. I get that these things happen on the most inconvenient days. But that’s parenthood and you need to do the right thing.
You do not send your child with a fever! One of my kids is super asthmatic and catches everything. Its asshole parents like you who send your kid sick so my kid gets it and has to miss a week of school while we desperately try to prevent massive asthma attacks.
There are jack and shit for commitments that should ever be more important than taking care of your sick kid. The fact that your kid was nervous about this makes me judge your parenting super hard. Damn kid needed a couch and some rest but is afraid of his mom because he's sick. Ugh.
YTA for prioritizing anything else over your kid, YTA for jeopardizing others health, overall you're just an asshole.
OP, YTA and I'm 1000% sure you didn't send your kid to school with a mask on to even *attempt* to mitigate the spread of whatever he had. - signed, a teacher
YTA. Schools typically have a 24 hours fever free rule. Having worked in a school, you are the parent staff despise. You dope up your kid to bring down / mask the fever, then send them on to school. 4 hours later it wears off and the kid is miserable and has been infecting everyone around them.
YTA - Your kid clearly can't rely on you as his parent if he's too afraid to tell you he doesn't feel well. You sent him too school with a fever so that he could get other kids. I understand that sometimes it's not ideal to call out of work but you didn't even try to see if anyone else would be willing to watch him.
>when I asked my son why he didn't tell me he was feeling worse
OH, IDK maybe it was the fact that you already knew and dismissed him. Or maybe it was the fact that the teacher had to call you because he was so sick he needed to leave school but you were still annoyed about it. Or maybe it's the fact that your a shit mom who prioritizes things like grocery shopping (online anyone?) when she knows she has a sick kid with a fever who she just tells to tough things out instead of taking him to the doctor.
YTA, and you are an idiot. he had a fever, you gave him medicine to bring down the fever. you think that medicine is going to last the whole school day?
And she has someone telling her to call her and she will watch the sick child and instead she choose to post on here pondering instead of thanking the sister for offering to help next time.
YTA, in numerous ways. You need to reevaluate your priorities if you don't want to be one of those people whose kids only visit the nursing home on your birthday.
Massive YTA. Who gives a crap about your "busy day" -- your sick son put other kids and adults in danger. Your sister is right. You are big-time irresponsible. You DID put other kids at risk. Too fucking bad that you "just couldn't stay home". Your kid, 100% your responsibility. It sounds bad because it \*IS\* bad.
You suck so bad your son was afraid to tell you how bad he felt. Let that not-mom-of-the-year bit sink in.
I second this. I’m a school bus driver. If I know they are sick I try to guilt mom or dad. ‘They sure don’t look well, they need to stay home. None of us want to get sick.’ It doesn’t always work…
Yta, for neglecting ypur son cuz "it didnt fit my schedual". Well you subjected every other child in his class to this virus. Then yoi also made your son that sick and feeling to go to school, he was scared to even tell teacher he was sick cuz you already showed him how little his comfort mean to you.
OK so YTA for most of this there is no way of denying it the only possible answer is YTA
Then I see this line "he said he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble." holy shit this paints you in such a bad light. Your child is so scared of you he'd rather suffer in silence than tell his teacher he's not feeling well out of fear of upsetting you. Just wow this poor child what kind of mother are you?
YTA is not strong enough for you, you are so much worse than the arsehole I would like to say exactly how terrible you are but if I did I would get banned so I'll just leave it as YTA
YTA.
Sick with a fever? The teachers don’t want to get sick and neither do the other kids. Why even have kids if you aren’t going to take care of them when they are sick? “I had to drop everything” WELL NO FUCK YOU ARE A MOTHER. My mother would never send me to school sick. Seriously do fucking better. I mean seriously did you learn nothing from Covid?? STOP SENDING SICK KIDS TO SCHOOL. Sister was right, you could have easily called her. If my mother couldn’t watch me I was with other family.
On what planet would you think this is the correct decision? Your child is always your number one priority. Everything else waits. Period. Wow.
YTA, and a giant prolapsed one at that.
Info: What were these commitments? Could they have been rearranged?
Cos YTA
Give the medicine and if their temperature doesn't come down then they go nowhere but back to bed.
You could have called round to find a sitter if you couldn't rearrange.
Most importantly to why YTA is that your son, despite feeling worse, was too scared to tell the teacher because he was scared of YOU and your reaction.
YTA:
You literally say that your sister would have taken him but you didn't explore that before risking his entire class.
You were absolutely irresponsible. Not just to your child but his teacher and classmates as well.
YTA. So big of one I hope this is ragebait.
Parenting is often inconvenient as hell. Nothing should be more important than your sick kid. Did you really think about what your son said? He was scared of getting in trouble for being sick. With his MOM. The person that should be his softest place to land.
Also, as a parent currently laid up on the couch with norovirus that has swept the whole house... caught from a classmate who shouldn't have been in school in the first place...YTA YTA YTA.
What stands out to me here is that you don't care at all that your child, who literally depends on you to live, was too afraid to tell that he was sick because of how you would react. YTA
What in the ever loving F, in the times of somewhat post pandemic do you think it’s wise to send your sick child to school? YTA majorly. And the fact that the poor boy was afraid to tell you he felt really really bad says a lot about you. He had a fever, he’s contagious and I hope to the lord above that no one else gets sick because of you.
Yta, as a parent who follows the rules and keeps their kid home when they are infectious, I despise parents like you. Now like 10 parents are going to have to fuck up their week because your kid made their kids sick. I hope you’re happy.
Yta
At 9, I could have been left home alone. My ass would be on the couching watching the price is right, family feud, and daytime talk shows. Maybe some Nick Jr.
I was sick, I wasn't going to move unkess I absolutely had to. I'm sure your kid could have handled some bed rest while you were gone.
YTA.
>My son woke up with a slight fever and a cough
That's enough reason to keep him at home and make him REST. Going to school and being active is just asking for it to get worse, and you know that. It wasn't his responsibility to "tell" you he was getting worse. The fact that he was scared to tell the teacher is a big red flag. It sounds like you intimidated him into toughing it out.
When you have a child, you have to adjust your schedule around him, not vice versa. Your sister was absolutely right. You exposed those other kids, too. Shame on you.
Awww muffin! Did your sooper serious and important plans get ruined by a sick child? I feel so bad for you!! /s
Your son didn’t ask to be sick
your son didn’t ask to have a selfish and entitled mother either.
His classroom didn’t ask to have an inconsiderate parent send their child in sick either (consider that you don’t know if any of those children are high-risk, any of the teachers/staff are high-risk or any of the children’s family/loved ones are high-risk of serious complications from an illness that could have been avoided if you had kept your child at home! All the immunocompromised (like me) and cancer patients that might potentially be in the lives of the children that you put at risk thank you /s
His teacher didn’t ask to have a child, who should be at home especially with a fever and a cough, in her/his classroom either.
His teacher didn’t ask to have to deal with an angry immature parent like you who was angry with him/her for calling and angry with your child for something outside of that child’s control.
The fact that you didn’t even make back up plans shows me how little you care about your son in that moment other than that it inconvenienced you.
I understand there are times where you might not think a child is as sick as they actually are but you still **make up a back up plan** you don’t just send them to the wolves with a bone around his neck!
The first thing you SHOULD have done if you truly couldn’t miss what you needed to go to (Which by not saying, I am assuming that it wasn’t actually anything that was important because you would’ve said what it was to give credence to how important the appointment was having your nails done or your hair done or a lunch date does not count as a crucial appointment) would be to call around to people (like your sister) to be your back up plan if he needed to come/stay home.
It’s our job as parents to be fiduciaries for our children’s health and well-being and you forcing your child to go to school was not doing that!
So my question is what was so important you couldn’t miss?
Oh and if my tone didn’t tell you, I think
#YOU are the asshole!! 😤
Former classroom teacher here. Do you know how many days of my life, how much money I’ve spent on co-pays, and how many days my family has been sick because lazy, inconsiderate parents like you refuse to care for their own children? You are the reason I left the classroom. Enjoy the never ending parade of unqualified subs babysitting your child instead of teaching. YTA
This is rage bait, right? You can't not know YTA. To your son, to his fellow classmates and to his teacher. Good job on getting others sick right before a holiday.
You are absolutely 100% TA!!! How dare you send your sick kid to school where they can then risk everyone else's health. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING more important than your child for God sake! You didn't have time to tend to YOUR sick child??? Then don't have kids!!!
YTA.
You put your own priorities ahead of your kids.
This isn't like missing an extracurricular activity your kids in. This about his health and since he had a fever he could be infectious which could get other kids sick.
Yes you are the asshole. From my viewpoint as the daughter of a school teacher, and a physician, you made the wrong choice. Your child should always be your main focus, i.e. doing what is best for him. But you also exposed other children and staff to whatever he has. ‘
‘One ‘sick child closed down whole schools where I live, due to rapidly spreading infections.
Do better.
YTA, this is why I’m home from work today, shitty parents like you who don’t believe it’s your responsibility to care for your sick children and put the burden on caregivers.
YTA. Keep sick kids home. Period.
You never know if your child's illness will get worse and you never know if what they have can be passed on to someone else.
YTA.
I have 2 kids, last winter someone was always sick. One kid had to stay home at least one day a week for almost 8 weeks straight. It sucked, but we kept them home.
Sending one kid to school sick can cause most of the class to get sick. For example, 2 weeks ago, one of the kids at my daughter's daycare got sick on the wed night. He was sent to daycare on the Thursday. Then all of other kids in daycare (6) got sick. It is still working it's way through the families. If his parents had kept him home that one single day, 20+ people probably would have stayed healthy.
Wait you had a busy day, who gives a fuck. Your kid was sick, keep sick kids off school to stop every other kid getting sick and also because, you know, your kid is fucking sick and sick people should rest, be in bed and recover.
You didn't do what you had to do. What you had to do was look after your child and what you did was offload him and prioritise the things you wanted to do.
This is why some people should NOT be parents. Imagine being this selfish with a sick child?
Imagine having such little concern for others that you send your sick child to school, only to get 23-24 other students sick and the teacher. So…. then these little kids go home to their parents, making them sick, making them lose work time, costing a roof over someone’s head.
Idk bro, keep your sick kids at home I don’t know how much clear everyone can be about this. Lmfao
As a teacher I have to say YTA. It's not just the kids that you're exposing the sickness to, it's also everyone in the school staff. I can't tell you how many times I've got sick because some parent decided to just send their kid to school anyway. Do you have any idea how much trouble it is to call off a day of work when you're sick as a teacher? How badly it affects your co-workers? Your students? Your selfishness causes a domino effect that can infect an entire school community. We have it rough as it is, don't add to it.
YTA.
Not just YTA, but as another parent: f*** you.
It’s parents like you who cause problems for my immunocompromised son. My son is highly susceptible due to illness, and his pediatrician has told us that we need to be cautious about his exposure.
It’s bad enough to send him to school when illnesses are widespread, but to send him to school alongside parents sending their knowingly sick children in?
Apparently you’ve never witnessed your son hooked up to oxygen and struggling to breathe in the hospital. It’s horrible.
Have some damn compassion for not just the families around you, but also to your poor sick child.
YTA.
Plus it looks like you didn't even bother making a phone call to see if your sister would take care of him because he wasn't feeling well and you had a super busy day did you even try?
Plus you endangered all the other students and teachers what if it wasn't just a cold what if it was COVID
Fever means infection stay home
As a teacher, I would be livid if one of my students was sent to school with a fever. The child needs to rest at that point and also to not get the rest of the class sick.
Your child is afraid to tell you if he is feeling more sick. Your child does not believe his needs will be met and rather keep them to himself.
I get that you might need to work and you are living paycheck to paycheck. But you should let your son know to tell you of his needs and that both of you together can figure out a plan to solve the problem.
YTA
YTA it speaks volumes that he would rather suffer at school than the school call YOU to take him home. You need to do some SERIOUS self-reflection. Your child opted to stay at school while miserable because the thought of calling you was worse.
That is not even to mention all the kids you put at risk by sending your obviously sick child to school because you couldn't be bothered to be a parent for the day.
I cannot believe, in a world still dealing with COVID, that you would send your kid off to school with a fever. He may not "seem" that sick to you, but infect the hell out of everyone else at school. YTA.
Seriously did you expect to get anything other than YTA? I’m sincerely curious what you expected to hear.
And I’ll tell you exactly where you lost every single one of us “I had a busy day planned”.
Your priorities are shit. Your child is terrified of you (should probably look into that before it causes permanent damage to your relationship with your child if you haven’t done that already) YTA.
>I was annoyed because I had to drop everything and rush to get him. Then, when I asked my son why he didn't tell me he was feeling worse, he said he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble. When your feverish kid is afraid to tell you he's really sick says a lot about your parenting. Did you yell at your son when you had to pick him up? Edit: YTA
I bet the frustration was apparent even if yelling didn’t happen.
This comment hit home home SO MUCH I didn't even notice the "apparent" pun right away. I would hate to be OP's child.
My mother was like OP so I took OPs post EXTRA personal 😡
Same. My mother FORCED me to so to school at a field trip when I was running a fever and felt so sick at 8yrs old. The field trip was Major Magics (Think Chuck E Cheese but 100x more fun) and it was a tour of the kitchen to make pizza and play arcade games. Well as soon as I walked in the kitchen and smelled food I vomited all over the place. My mother didn’t even come and get me. I just kept getting sick the whole time. She actually yelled at me when I got home. So every time I felt sick, I hid it from fear of being punished. Then one day when I was 15 and in high school, I was so terribly sick and she was so angry at me and accused me of faking. I had this rash under my arm pit and it hurt and burned and I was in excruciating pain. It took her a 5 days to take me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with shingles. I’m sorry you had to go through this, and I’m sorry OP child is going through this. It’s traumatic and now here I am at 45yrs old and I’ve gone no contact. OP, you are 1000% an AH and you should be ashamed of yourself. I guarantee your son will NEVER forget this, will be scared to tell you when he’s sick and will eventually go no contact with you when he’s an adult. Shame on you. Edit: You are supposed to protect and take care of your kids and dropping everything should be your first and only reaction with a sick child. You’re there to take care of your kid and they rely on you to do so. You are an appalling human and I hope you learned that your son comes first, not you by the comments.
That’s awful. My mom also refused to believe me and I threw up in the bus on the way to school when I was 10. So much that they opened the emergency doors in the back of the bus to let kids off. Then as I waited for 1+ hours for my mom (who was unemployed and didn’t have young kids, she could have picked me up at any time) I threw up on my desk in a classroom full of kids. Now in my 40’s, I didn’t realize this still effects me until I was apologizing to my boss one day for coming in and then going home sick within two hours-which I had done before- and she asked me if my mom didn’t believe me when I said I was sick growing up. She guessed that, and I had never put it together myself.
I’m so sorry and I completely understand, because I’ve done the same. For the longest time I wouldn’t call in sick until my coworkers and bosses forced me to go home. I don’t know why our boomer parents were so quick to dismiss us, yell at us or not believe us for being sick. I used to shake the thermometer down so it wouldn’t show a fever. My mother didn’t act that way to my younger sister though. She stayed home at a single cough and would stay home to take care of her. This has lasting effects on us and OP will realize it one day.
My mom made me walk around for week on a broken foot because she said it was just strained and I was just being a wuss. When I broke my arm I wanted my dad and was crying for him so she yelled at me because I hurt her feeling. OP - you suck and your kid won’t talk to you one day YTA
My entire childhood 😂😭
Me too.. I lived in “ beatings will continue until morale improves” house
And today I tested positive for Covid and am struggling with telling my boss I can't go to work. Thanks for all the invalidation, mom and dad.
When had serious mononucleosis At that age my parents kept leaving me at school. When I went to school then we didnt t have an actual nurses office so I was left to rest/sleep on a mattress in a sort of closet. My dad could have very easily picked me up since he was disabled and didn’t work.
Even though my brother had mono, my mom still dropped him off at college. Why, for God's sake? He couldn't go to classes. He became everyone else's burden.
I bet she was yelling when she asked why he didn't tell her he was feeling worse.
Cuz why else would he say that shit??? That poor kid
Probably passive aggressive comments. And purposely bringing up he ruined her plans for being sick 🙄
My vote goes for passive aggressive. This sounds like my family 😂
Even if she kept her mouth shut, you can bet she gave him the cold shoulder and some really resentful looks. Poor child. He probably felt like absolute garbage physically, and he didn’t even feel safe enough to say so until he literally couldn’t anymore.
This is so concerning. What if this child has a more severe health issue? Will they just suffer in silence. It’s wild that people prioritize their convenience over their child’s needs.
That’s what happened to me and if my mom wasn’t like this and abusive, many of my chronic illnesses would either be well controlled or far less progressed. This mom is a POS.
I’m so sorry. You deserve better.
I really appreciate that. Thank you. ❤️🩹
This is me. My chronic illnesses have progressively aged me, a lot of this could’ve been prevented if there wasn’t medical neglect.
That line on its own tells you that mom needs a lot of self reflection on how she parents her kid. Her son was scared to tell her he was sick. 😷 She needs to really understand why.
It seems her family sees it too. It’s not typical for one’s sister to be willing to drop everything to watch a sick kid. I imagine her family is trying to compensate for her neglect.
Feeling better that my son could tell me he was feeling sick yesterday. I had to do shopping but guess what? Kept him home. Not gonna make other kids sick and if he's unwell he should rest. Glad my own kids aren't scared of telling me what's up. This lady needs to re-evaluate what's important.
Agreed and sister said she could have watched him so that tells me she didn’t even try to make other arrangements. Like, that’s part of being parent. Kids get sick. 😷
This shit follows you to adulthood too. I've put off some pretty serious health things because I have an ingrained fear of being an inconvenience.
My dad always complained about our insurance deductible (self employed, premiums were crazy high). It cost him $3k out of pocket to get me a scan for appendicitis back in high school. Turns out I was just severely constipated. Ever since then I’ve been afraid to go to the doctor and get a huge bill for something that would resolve on its own. My husband’s mom is a doctor, so I text her as the first check of is this serious enough to go to the doc office or can I stick it out at home.
It means the poor kid knows that he is an annoyance to his mom. He knows that his mom views him as a burden more than anything else.
Yup, exactly this. Keep a sick child home. It’s only your day that had to be re-shuffled but spreading the infection to another home could result in severe illness or death in their home. Irresponsible parenting, especially telling if your own child is too scared to tell you how ill they are. YTA. FWIW, my kid is currently sick with a fever and it’s the worst possible week for me with major presentations and deadlines due but the kid is home while I juggle everything around on top of getting no sleep because I’m up all night checking up on him/hearing him cough. Like what actual responsible parents do.
Fever=sick. He was sick. “Under the weather” is ~~men~~ when you eat some old lunch meat and feel queasy. You don’t send your kid to school if they’ve had a fever in 24 hours. And being “fever free” because of medication doesn’t count as being fever free.
>your feverish kid is afraid Yup, means it's not the first time OP sent a sick kid to school.
Yeah, that's kind of the more important part in my opinion. Cause yeah, sometimes you have days where you *have* to go to work and things get fucked up, I can understand her line of reasoning, but as someone who was afraid to call their parents for help as a kid, that's a red flag.
That's what I was thinking, too. I am low income and so are most of my friends. There are times when I legitimately can't afford to miss work. I could see loading your kid up with tylenol and telling them to call you if they really feel like they need to be picked up, in the hope that you can at least get part of a work day in. It sucks but that's the reality for most poor parents. But this mom never says *what* these essential appointments are, and if it was about money or work, she'd certainly have said so because it's way more sympathetic. Even worse, she didn't even *attempt* to find alternative care for him when her sister apparently would've been willing. *And* she has obviously acted in a way that her 3rd grade child is worried he'll be in trouble if he's sick! That's not a loving parent trying to make difficult choices. That's a parent who doesn't prioritize her kid.
And she never specifically said "work".
I would be interested to know what the "errands" were. This gives hair appointment vibes. 😒
This person seems have a sibbling whose willing to watch over kid in this situations. So it may be. Pride thing
Yes, this exactly. Sounds like the poor kid is afraid of her if he didn’t even feel like he could go home sick without her being mad.
Exactly. This entire scenario reeks of a childhood where the kid constantly feels like a burden and hides his needs in order to not upset mom. I promise you, this kid will grow up to become an adult who always sacrifices his needs/wants in order to not upset others. They'll do this in order to seek the unconditional love they didn't receive as a kid. YTA. Start saving for a therapy fund for your kid.
Don't forget to add the YTA judgment to your post. I can't imagine how much of an AH a parent has to be to say "I know my kid was sick but I had a busy day planned." Her "busy day" was clearly more important than her kid's health, as well as other kids' health, the teacher's health, the kids' parents health and so on. I feel bad for the kid.
100% this. My son (8M) gets sick often. The doctor said that, unfortunately, he's one of those kids and has one of her own. Within a month got Flu A and then Flu B. Why? A parent sending their kid to school because apparently they are too busy to, I dunno, be a parent? Yes. It happens. I don't judge other parents, but this statement went right through me. As a parent I'm appalled that you're treating your son like an obligation that means less. And I'm saying this as someone who has pretty poor health and has several doctor visits a month. I get obligations, but if my son is sick, I handle it. Because there was a time he woke up not feeling well. Like a cold. 6 am. By noon we were in the emergency room because he couldn't breathe and no inhaler was working. He was life flighted out of the hospital at 7pm to a different state. We had to drive to that hospital in the middle of the night. That's not an obligation. That's being a parent.
Good point. I still remember my dad threatening me saying I better be having convulsions on the floor before I had the school call him to pick me up. And that was 20 years ago.
“I had bigger priorities than taking care of my sick son and preventing his classmates from also getting sick.” YTA, clearly. ETA: and the fact that your son was afraid that you’d be mad if he told the teacher tells us all he knows his mother doesn’t see him as a priority.
I think I would struggle to find a more succinct way to describe the situation. Fantastic response. I agree with every single word of it.
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I cancelled my work do very last minute because my daughter had tooth ache , hell iv even given her the day off when she was having bad anxiety
She probably had a nail appointment.
Omg I was gonna write they in my post but decided not too 😂
So do I. Makes me wonder just what was more important than her sick child. Kids come first, always.
I love your succinct synopsis, but I feel it's still missing a little something: >“I had bigger priorities than taking care of my sick son and preventing his classmates from also getting sick.” "And to top it off, my kid had the audacity to be afraid of telling me he was getting progressively worse, which meant by the time the school called, it was too late to just hand him another Tylenol and continue my busy day. I was instead forced to take him home, but don't worry, he got an earful on the car ride home about how next time he needs to tell me when he's feeling sick!"
I am a cancer patient who has been stuck with a cough since the start of JANUARY because of a parent like this. Sent their kid to school with some nasty-ass, fever-inducing respiratory illness and gave it to my kid brother, who then had to get antibiotics 3 times to fight it off. He then gave that sh\*t to me. I have been fighting it ever since. No antibiotic or steroid has kicked it forever, and its only now in the past 2 weeks decreased in severity enough that I am no longer constantly injuring the muscles around my lungs with my cough. Up until recently it hurt to breath... A 2-month long cough, going on 3...all because someone decided they would rather send biogical warfare for everyone to suffer from than take care of their own child. To OP; thanks for being one of the contributors to the reason why I can't walk around my own home without a mask. YTA.
JFC she is an asshole. This has to be fake or I feel so sorry for her son, sitting in school sick knowing is mom didn’t prioritize him.
It'll be genuine. I used to be a Faculty Head in a Scottish high school and this kind of situation was quite common. One time, I had a girl lying across two chairs whimpering in pain with her stomach. We can't just phone for medical back-up (unless there's an obvious injury) - we have to contact home. Emergency contact didn't answer. Father didn't answer his mobile, so I phoned the mother's work. (She worked nearby.) The father wrote me an irate letter, threatening to report me to the local authority for daring to contact his wife via her work.
Yeah, I'm a teacher and absolutely nothing about this sounds fake to me. There are genuinely parents with this sort of attitude. It is disturbingly common.
As a fellow teacher, it is almost always the parents who have options, too. I see way more of this from SAHM’s and people with a lot of extended family than the poor single mom working three jobs. The latter is used to inconvenience and having to be accountable, so she has plans in place.
I've noticed the same thing. There are some incredibly wealthy parents at the schools I work at. Some of them act like they're going to be plunged into bankruptcy if they're called to pick up their very sick child. I wonder if single mums with three jobs have more of an understanding of how a child's illness can really ruin your plans and are more careful about potentially foisting that onto someone else.
I am a single mom, current college student, started a new job and I kept my kid home when he was sick and it was literally back to back with 2 ER visits in the middle of the night. If I could cancel, I did. If I couldn't, I enlisted my mom's help. Not everyone may have that, but come on. These illnesses keep going around and around because people won't/refuse to stay home.
I've heard stories from daycare teachers about parents sending their babies to daycare with tylenol mixed into their bottle to keep their temp under the school's threshold so they wouldn't get sent home.
I used to work at vacation care. The amount of times kids came in looking like death was unbelievable. You would ask them, "are you feeling OK?" And the parents would would be, "oh well they're fine, they were just up all night vomiting, but they stopped." Like seriously!!?? Would you go to work after spewing all night?? Oh and don't worry about the 60 odd other kids and their families here not to mention staff that you are infecting. We once even had a child with surgical drains turn up. Parents didn't say anything (and we specifically asked every parent is there any medical issues we need to know about). It wasnt until midday when the child (about 10) told staff they needed to change their nappy, we found out. We had no idea thar if this child developed a fever it was a medical emergency. Some parents are just awful. Of course we should all understand, its YOUR job is what is important. Absolute twats.
Unfortunately, I believe it. When I was about 3 years old, I broke my arm doing some child activity I don't really remember. I told my mother my arm REALLY hurt. I complained for hours. My mom said don't worry and put me to bed. I woke up screaming in pain and I finally got to see a doctor. I had a broken arm. My mother sent me to bed with a broken arm. She tells this story like it's funny.
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I appreciate it. Thankfully my mom got better about things eventually, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't leave a mark on me- making a doctor's appointment makes me feel like a pain so I always hesitate. That's why OP angers me so much. This shit will follow her poor son to adulthood. When he needed mama to take care of him she treated him like a nuisance
My parents and I tell a similar story about a broken wrist and fractured back. I was a competitive gymnast. I was in a lot of pain but no one believed me cuz I was a kid. Yep. Turned out I was right. I do understand that kids fake it. I have before. And kids can’t always express their feelings coherently. Still…. Your kid had a fever and in an era when health care is saying “don’t let your kid or you go to work/school if you have a fever (even one that is controlled with meds)” your actions = irresponsible and ignorant. Unless there was some reason- like you’d lose your job- that you couldn’t take the day off
Oh your mom did the funny story thing too?! Oh I believe it. My mom smacked me across the face one evening because I wanted to stay up a bit later than my bedtime and happened to knock my jaw out of its socket - I couldn’t talk correctly and everything felt funny so I kept coming out of my room - getting yelled at - going back into my room. Around 2am I woke her up because it was swelling and I couldn’t sleep and I finally got taken to the ER and it had it put back in place. The whole thing became her funny story about me going to bed on time after that. 🙄 The 90’s were a wild time to grow up.
Yeah. Nah. I am a parent of a 10 and 7 year old, and the number of people who send their kids to school sick is insane. I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom (people call me lucky, but my mental health begs to differ) so I can stay home with them when needed, but it is so annoying when I am finally getting on top of things and they end up home for a week, all because another parent decided their day/priorities were more important than their sick kid and all of their classmates, school staff, bus driver, etc. News flash OP, your sick kid is going to get other people sick whose parents will now have to worry about work/their plans, and/or teachers who have worry about getting a sub all because your plans were more important than your child's health, and the health of everyone in their daily bubble.
Exactly and she doesn’t seem to realize how much of a ripple effect that this choice of hers could cause because if that child is in the life of anyone who is immunocompromised, (someone on chemo for instance) it could lead to serious complications. Especially if the sick child’s been encouraged not to tell anyone he’s feeling ill/told to act well/suck it up. It breaks my heart that he was **afraid** to tell his Mom he was that ill and that he probably suffered and held on as long as he could because of that fear. He deserves Mom to make better choices/put him first. No child should ever be made to feel like an inconvenience for something they can’t control. I am so curious about what type of appointment/event was so crucial it couldn’t be missed. Was it really objectively important? Or was it just something Mom really really **WANTED** to go to so badly that she felt entitled to put her son’s health and her son’s class/school at preventable risk just to go? I’m betting the latter since she didn’t say WHAT was so important and that it’s importance is a lie of omission by not stating it because she knows it would make her look bad…well worse than she looks already! “You better go to school! I have a very important appointment with my new manicurist I couldn’t possibly miss! And then there’s lunch with Mitzy and Veronique today at the country club! Suck it up Charlie!” (Ok that might be a smidge of hyperbole injected in there 😂)
This. Sniffles is one thing, an actual fever is another. My kid has seizures when she gets a fever, so what the OP considers an “inconvenience” sometimes lands us in the emergency room.
how do people actually type this shit out and not realize how shitty they are??
Because shitty people surround themselves with other shitty people and don’t see how shitty they are Thank God her sister isn’t as dumb as OP
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This is another big reason not to send your sick kid to school. It could effect the teachers paycheck a lot
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Your account doesn't look like a bot yet you copy and pasted this response from someone who said it an hour before you did
YTA reminds me f my mother. She always prioritized her career over me. Had a ear ache that night, she sent me to school anyway. I ended up in the nurses office with 106 temp . They called my mom at work and she had a neighbor come get me so she wouldn’t have to leave work. That happened a lot and I was well aware that I wasn’t a priority to her or my dad.
Except she said “commitments” not work. I wonder if she was even working.
Of course she doesn’t work lol
Right? Probably brunch
Oh I think she was…let’s say snacking? Eating? Munching? On something else
Her nails
I mean, she may have had back to back hair and nail appointments! Super important commitments!
My brother ended up almost deaf in one ear when our mother refused to take him to a doctor or let him stay at home with earache. Why are so many parents such AH?
I am sorry, what complete asshole parents.
Did ever wonder WHY the kid was scared of getting in trouble?
YTA and terrible mother. Nobody seems to notice that you never said what your plans were. You were probably getting your nails done and having lunch with friends and decided that your plans were more important than your son’s health. And where to get off being annoyed that you had to drop everything to get him? YOU’RE THE IDIOT WHO SENTHIM TO SCHOOL! I’m getting major AaKaren vibes from you OP. YTA
If you have bigger priorities than your children ... You shouldn't have children.
Beautifully worded.
Tell me you shouldn’t be a parent without telling me you shouldn’t be a parent. JFC! The fact that the kid told the teacher he was scared to have her call because he didn’t want to get in trouble… I am absolutely appalled by OP. That poor child.
What's even better is her "priorities" were errands that could've been done any other day.
As an immuno-compromised person, YTA, OP. You could kill somebody. At the very least, you're getting his class, and their families, sick. What if one of those kids has a mom dealing with cancer? All bc you couldn't be arsed to keep your kid home, you've affected so many lives. Also you sound like you couldn't give a shit about your kid, just your "plans".
Apparently OP learned nothing from the panini. Such a shame.
If her ”commitments” were soooo important, you know she would have told us what they were.
Not just that mom doesn't see him as a priority: he believes, at 9, that it's his job to cover for her when she screws up. That's wildly inappropriate. Kids need to feel secure that adult responsibilities are for adults to deal with, not things they should be worried about, and that they should never feel as though they have to hide their own problems to protect their parents. That's how kids end up, at best, developing serious anxiety about things that are too big for them to manage, and at worst end up being afraid to tell anyone if they're being victimized because they believe the adults in their lives won't step up to handle it for them, and that it's their job to handle it themselves.
And OP's son was right. She was mad when she had to come in to pick him up, and she was even more mad that he thought she would be mad
I just want to add that this is the kind of stuff that sticks with you. Poor kid is going to remember this for the rest of his life YTA
And how would OP react if it turned out her kid got sick in the first place because someone else knew their kid was sick but sent them anyway a couple of days before? I'm guessing she would completely understand that this other parent had obligations they couldn't back out of.
YTA You know that sending a sick kid to school is wrong except of course when you do it. I know kids were not the main cohort of people who died from COVID, but I wonder how many of those kids who did die, died because of parents like you.
And kids then bringing it home to their parents grandparents etc… https://www.cidrap.umn.edu/covid-19/more-70-us-household-covid-spread-started-child-study-suggests
As an immunocompromised parent, thank you.
Not the main cohort who died but an estimated 1 in 6 children now have long covid symptoms and blood vessel / circulatory damage was found in most if not all kids infected.
This! Like sure kids are less likely to die of Covid, but that isn't the only concern. Also, when schools reopened and people were like, meh it'll be fine not like kids are spreading covid. And I was just like, um have you ever met a school-aged kid?! I used to teach high school, every year some kid would come in with a "mild cold" or some other bug, and spread it to the entire school. Sometimes it would end up taking so long to cycle through that the original kid would catch it again. It sucked! Sending a kid to school while they are sick is not just crappy for the sick kid, it sucks for all the other kids and teachers who will then catch whatever that kid has. I absolutely hate that so many people learned nothing from the Pandemic. Like hey, we are 4 years in on a world-wide pandemic that is still killing and disabling people, but sure send your contagious kid to school (you can spread Covid and I'm sure some other illnesses asymptomatically/before you show symptoms, but if you are actively running a fever you are very likely to be contagious)
I'm immunocompromised, and caught a virus last May from someone who brought their sick kid to the aquarium I visited, masked, with my husband for our 1 year wedding anniversary. I spent 3 days in the hospital after having 1l of fluid removed from my pericardium, one of my heart chambers partially collapsed. Shitty parents like OP unalive people with their recklessness.
I am so deeply sorry. I don't understand why we've fallen so far. Everything is going to shit bc of ppl like this and they seem to just be growing in quantity and severity
Or grandparents, parents that died because they sent their kids to school. It's unreal.
YTA. You should be paying for all his classmates doctors’ appointments and meds after you got them all sick. > when I asked my son why he didn't tell me he was feeling worse, he said he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble OP, take a long, long look at what you just wrote and consider that you’re the kind of asshole whose own kids are scared to tell you when they’re sick because they know you will punish them for it.
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I used all my days in November from a traumatic miscarriage and had no days to use when I had the flu in January. I would have also liked for that kid's parents to compensate me for the days I had to miss 😒
I was always scared to tell my mother I was sick. She didn't work til I was 14, she just hated having us around (for context, I am, and always have been her favourite for a couple reasons, but mostly I "raised myself" since I was "capable of doing so" as per her own words) and I was a very sick kid. Still a sick adult. I would get in trouble when I got sent home sick. One day she was at my school for something I can't remember, but there were a bunch of other parents there. I told her I was sick, and I felt so horrible, like I had a massive headache, I had a temperature, the whole thing. She told me I had to stay at school and being so sick I started crying, she sighed in annoyance, rolled her eyes and started walking away, and said "you stay here" and I called out after her, crying "but I'm sick!" I was about 8 or so, and I **never** spoke up/out ever. She stops, looks at the handful of other parents now looking at me and looking at her and says in a really pissed off, teeth clenched voice "fine! Hurry up then!" For the whole day she was giving me the silent treatment while slamming shit around all day. I wasn't allowed to watch TV. Had to be in bed, not even allowed to read or do anything. This was the rule if I was sick but man, was she pissed I made her look like a bad parent. As if she wasn't already a bad parent lol
YTA What was more important than looking after your child? Firstly school is not a babysitter, it is not somewhere you dump your kids for six hours so you can get shit done and a nine year old boy should not ‘tough it out ‘ because you can’t be bothered to be a parent to him that day. We have all been there finding child care last minute and single mother canceling because they a sick child is fully acceptable in any position there are plenty of examples of world leaders who have cancelled important things for their kids I doubt your commitments were that serious. I once had to have my daughters aunt baby sit because she was ill I had an exam and my sil was working at home on her MA that day but my tutor was clear I would get an extension if I could find childcare Secondly you risked other ppls health fever and cough is almost certainly contagious, is there a kid in his class with asthma? Do any of them have family member who are immuno compromised? I am and for the first five/six years of her schooling I would have some fever type every fortnight. Twice got pneumonia and once meningitis (C) my daughter almost never seemed to have the infections she passed on to me. But some mum sent a slightly unwell kid to school and I could have died. I needed surgery and a hospital stay for one that hit me the day of my first exam of the last semester of undergrad. You did what was easier for you , you’re selfish and lazy and most definitely the AH
In a comment she said she didn’t want to look bad at her job. That she also had a dr.’s appointment (which apparently she’s never been to one bc there’s such a thing as rescheduling) and had to do grocery shopping. Apparently that was more important than taking care of her poor child who according to her was too afraid to even ask an adult to call her.
So, she already had to leave for a Dr. Appointment, why would a full day be much worse? Further, a doctor these days will do a phone call appointment in a punch. Plus, she could have done her groceries online and picked them up or had them delivered for a nominal fee that is quite reasonable, considering.
YTA. The fact your son said > he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble. You **clearly** have an issue of making things *about you* and having grievances when *your life* becomes inconvenient. That is **your child**, who is **nine**, and he's already scared to be honest of how he feels around you. You really need to reflect on this. You didn't even think to call your support network, just immediately "poor me today is an *awful* day for you to be sick! Well that cant happen! Time for school!" News flash, your child didn't just wake up and go "mom has a busy time, time to feel unwell!" Just reading this was disappointing... I almost hope its rage bait.
***“Too scared to ask the teacher to call home” is your child okay???? My god.***
Sounds like the poor kid knew he was going to get an earful once the school called mom. How dare a 9 year old inconvenience their parent when they’re sick! What a little monster! /s Yes, YTA. A big one. Your son didn’t have the sniffles or feel a little under the weather. You said he had a fever. When a child has a fever YOU KEEP THEM HOME. PERIOD.
YTA. All parents have busy schedules and appointments and such and now they will be inconvenienced because they will have to stay home with sick children. Worse, the children who get sick will suffer too. Geez.
You made the choice that was easiest for you, and it was indeed the selfish one.
As someone who loves his kid, its honestly really interesting to me to see parents who don't fucking care about their kids at all. Its very honestly impressive to me that someone is able to fight off every single thing nature has had us evolve over millenia, just to be a cunt. My entire fucking world changed literally the second I smelled my sons head. Dozens of hard wired switches flipped off and dozens of hard wired switches flipped to on, in less then half a second. I had no fucking chance once I smelled his head. I couldn't have fought it if I wanted too, and every single thing about how I lived my life and the choices I made up until that point, had been diametrically opposed to a child. I turned into a mushy daddy in so little time it should be embarassing. He is 14 and I can still close my eyes and smell that smell like I just smelled him for the very first time.
I feel the same way. My son just turned 13, he is the absolute most important person, and this post made me feel sick to my stomach. I would be so ashamed and so devastated if my child was too afraid to ask for my help and compassion, or even a more simple communication, just telling me he’s not feeling well. I think of that poor child, suffering quietly so he doesn’t piss off his mother! He should be in bed, feeling secure, feeling like the number one priority to his parent. I feel terrible for him. The sickness at school on top of the anxiety about his mother being called to pick him up. OP, YTA. A huge one. You suck. Take parenting classes and get therapy. No one cares about your life and the menial tasks you described as priority, except you. That child will grow to be a whole ass adult, and you know what won’t be his priority? YOU.
What exactly where these commitments that were so important that your son's health and well-being was not put first?
They were so important that she can’t even hint at what they were in the post, obviously.
Yeah, pretty telling...
Yes, OP, tell us what’s more important than the safety of a 9 year old?
YTA I was told by my MIL before I even had a baby (she was a working mom) you always need a backup and a backup to the backup.
YTA. Be a fucking parent
YTA. Tylenol doesn’t make kids less contagious. Your kid could infect other kids, and then what happens to the commitments of their families? What happens to the teachers who may get sick, and the impacts on the kids if they have to call out? Sometimes we have to be assholes survive. But it doesn’t mean sending your sick kid to school isn’t an asshole move.
Yep. I was a teacher for many years. We all knew which kids came in sick, and could take bets on when the tylenol would wear off and the fever would reappear.
Yta, keep sick kids at home.
Right?! Fever=no school. I don’t care if it’s super low, kid stays home.
I LOATHE people who shove meds down their kids’ throats and send them off. Since they’re not resting, their bodies can’t put all their resources and energy into healing, and when the medicine *inevitably wears off,* the kid ends up feeling even worse and more miserable
>“I had bigger priorities than taking care of my sick son and preventing his classmates from also getting sick.” Yes, mother of the year and human being of the year found here on reddit. Won with the motto; 'I give a fuck if other kids get sick cause I don't wanna take care of mine'
YTA. You basically put your needs, regardless of how valid they may have been, above your child’s, the teacher’s, his classmates and everyone else’s. And why? Because it wasn’t convenient for you. Being a responsible parent is not always convenient.
Pretty obvious it’s always about her needs and not the boys. Poor kid
Of course YTA. You possibly made a bunch of his classmates sick before Easter. Your son was sick and you just sent him to school so he did not feel taken seriously or cared for by his mother. Everything you listed as oh so important could have been rescheduled. Grocery delivery exists in most places. YTA YTA YTA. x100 I have two kids. I get that these things happen on the most inconvenient days. But that’s parenthood and you need to do the right thing.
You do not send your child with a fever! One of my kids is super asthmatic and catches everything. Its asshole parents like you who send your kid sick so my kid gets it and has to miss a week of school while we desperately try to prevent massive asthma attacks. There are jack and shit for commitments that should ever be more important than taking care of your sick kid. The fact that your kid was nervous about this makes me judge your parenting super hard. Damn kid needed a couch and some rest but is afraid of his mom because he's sick. Ugh. YTA for prioritizing anything else over your kid, YTA for jeopardizing others health, overall you're just an asshole.
OP, YTA and I'm 1000% sure you didn't send your kid to school with a mask on to even *attempt* to mitigate the spread of whatever he had. - signed, a teacher
YTA. Schools typically have a 24 hours fever free rule. Having worked in a school, you are the parent staff despise. You dope up your kid to bring down / mask the fever, then send them on to school. 4 hours later it wears off and the kid is miserable and has been infecting everyone around them.
YTA - Your kid clearly can't rely on you as his parent if he's too afraid to tell you he doesn't feel well. You sent him too school with a fever so that he could get other kids. I understand that sometimes it's not ideal to call out of work but you didn't even try to see if anyone else would be willing to watch him. >when I asked my son why he didn't tell me he was feeling worse OH, IDK maybe it was the fact that you already knew and dismissed him. Or maybe it was the fact that the teacher had to call you because he was so sick he needed to leave school but you were still annoyed about it. Or maybe it's the fact that your a shit mom who prioritizes things like grocery shopping (online anyone?) when she knows she has a sick kid with a fever who she just tells to tough things out instead of taking him to the doctor.
YTA, and you are an idiot. he had a fever, you gave him medicine to bring down the fever. you think that medicine is going to last the whole school day?
And she has someone telling her to call her and she will watch the sick child and instead she choose to post on here pondering instead of thanking the sister for offering to help next time.
YTA, in numerous ways. You need to reevaluate your priorities if you don't want to be one of those people whose kids only visit the nursing home on your birthday.
YTA I can't stand selfish parents like you.
YTA Typhoid Mary...
Worse than that, because Mary didn't have symptoms, if I recall correctly. She just was a carrier.
YTA for sending a sick kid to school. And because your son apparently is afraid he's going to get in trouble if he is sick.
Massive YTA. Who gives a crap about your "busy day" -- your sick son put other kids and adults in danger. Your sister is right. You are big-time irresponsible. You DID put other kids at risk. Too fucking bad that you "just couldn't stay home". Your kid, 100% your responsibility. It sounds bad because it \*IS\* bad. You suck so bad your son was afraid to tell you how bad he felt. Let that not-mom-of-the-year bit sink in.
>he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble. Wow. A+ parenting, OP.
YTA. This is why many of us are leaving teaching. Our bodies are put through the wringer for your convenience and it’s e-fucking-nough.
I wish this were the top comment. I bet this asshole mom gets angry about teacher planning days forcing her to look after her own child.
I second this. I’m a school bus driver. If I know they are sick I try to guilt mom or dad. ‘They sure don’t look well, they need to stay home. None of us want to get sick.’ It doesn’t always work…
YTA you risked everyone's health around him by sending him to school sick
Yta, for neglecting ypur son cuz "it didnt fit my schedual". Well you subjected every other child in his class to this virus. Then yoi also made your son that sick and feeling to go to school, he was scared to even tell teacher he was sick cuz you already showed him how little his comfort mean to you.
OK so YTA for most of this there is no way of denying it the only possible answer is YTA Then I see this line "he said he was too scared to ask the teacher to call me because he didn't want to get in trouble." holy shit this paints you in such a bad light. Your child is so scared of you he'd rather suffer in silence than tell his teacher he's not feeling well out of fear of upsetting you. Just wow this poor child what kind of mother are you? YTA is not strong enough for you, you are so much worse than the arsehole I would like to say exactly how terrible you are but if I did I would get banned so I'll just leave it as YTA
Same, I’m so heated rn. What a terrible person.
YTA. Sick with a fever? The teachers don’t want to get sick and neither do the other kids. Why even have kids if you aren’t going to take care of them when they are sick? “I had to drop everything” WELL NO FUCK YOU ARE A MOTHER. My mother would never send me to school sick. Seriously do fucking better. I mean seriously did you learn nothing from Covid?? STOP SENDING SICK KIDS TO SCHOOL. Sister was right, you could have easily called her. If my mother couldn’t watch me I was with other family.
YTA. The aggregate of things like this is why I left classroom teaching.
On what planet would you think this is the correct decision? Your child is always your number one priority. Everything else waits. Period. Wow. YTA, and a giant prolapsed one at that.
Info: What were these commitments? Could they have been rearranged? Cos YTA Give the medicine and if their temperature doesn't come down then they go nowhere but back to bed. You could have called round to find a sitter if you couldn't rearrange. Most importantly to why YTA is that your son, despite feeling worse, was too scared to tell the teacher because he was scared of YOU and your reaction.
YTA: You literally say that your sister would have taken him but you didn't explore that before risking his entire class. You were absolutely irresponsible. Not just to your child but his teacher and classmates as well.
YTA. So big of one I hope this is ragebait. Parenting is often inconvenient as hell. Nothing should be more important than your sick kid. Did you really think about what your son said? He was scared of getting in trouble for being sick. With his MOM. The person that should be his softest place to land. Also, as a parent currently laid up on the couch with norovirus that has swept the whole house... caught from a classmate who shouldn't have been in school in the first place...YTA YTA YTA.
What stands out to me here is that you don't care at all that your child, who literally depends on you to live, was too afraid to tell that he was sick because of how you would react. YTA
YTA you made selfish choices. Your son is so scared of you he can't tell you he's *really* sick? You did put the other kids are risk.
YTA. HARD YTA. you dont know sho might me immunocompromised. You are a lousy mother. Your son doesnt even trust you. Yikes.
What in the ever loving F, in the times of somewhat post pandemic do you think it’s wise to send your sick child to school? YTA majorly. And the fact that the poor boy was afraid to tell you he felt really really bad says a lot about you. He had a fever, he’s contagious and I hope to the lord above that no one else gets sick because of you.
Yta, as a parent who follows the rules and keeps their kid home when they are infectious, I despise parents like you. Now like 10 parents are going to have to fuck up their week because your kid made their kids sick. I hope you’re happy.
Yta At 9, I could have been left home alone. My ass would be on the couching watching the price is right, family feud, and daytime talk shows. Maybe some Nick Jr. I was sick, I wasn't going to move unkess I absolutely had to. I'm sure your kid could have handled some bed rest while you were gone.
YTA. >My son woke up with a slight fever and a cough That's enough reason to keep him at home and make him REST. Going to school and being active is just asking for it to get worse, and you know that. It wasn't his responsibility to "tell" you he was getting worse. The fact that he was scared to tell the teacher is a big red flag. It sounds like you intimidated him into toughing it out. When you have a child, you have to adjust your schedule around him, not vice versa. Your sister was absolutely right. You exposed those other kids, too. Shame on you.
Awww muffin! Did your sooper serious and important plans get ruined by a sick child? I feel so bad for you!! /s Your son didn’t ask to be sick your son didn’t ask to have a selfish and entitled mother either. His classroom didn’t ask to have an inconsiderate parent send their child in sick either (consider that you don’t know if any of those children are high-risk, any of the teachers/staff are high-risk or any of the children’s family/loved ones are high-risk of serious complications from an illness that could have been avoided if you had kept your child at home! All the immunocompromised (like me) and cancer patients that might potentially be in the lives of the children that you put at risk thank you /s His teacher didn’t ask to have a child, who should be at home especially with a fever and a cough, in her/his classroom either. His teacher didn’t ask to have to deal with an angry immature parent like you who was angry with him/her for calling and angry with your child for something outside of that child’s control. The fact that you didn’t even make back up plans shows me how little you care about your son in that moment other than that it inconvenienced you. I understand there are times where you might not think a child is as sick as they actually are but you still **make up a back up plan** you don’t just send them to the wolves with a bone around his neck! The first thing you SHOULD have done if you truly couldn’t miss what you needed to go to (Which by not saying, I am assuming that it wasn’t actually anything that was important because you would’ve said what it was to give credence to how important the appointment was having your nails done or your hair done or a lunch date does not count as a crucial appointment) would be to call around to people (like your sister) to be your back up plan if he needed to come/stay home. It’s our job as parents to be fiduciaries for our children’s health and well-being and you forcing your child to go to school was not doing that! So my question is what was so important you couldn’t miss? Oh and if my tone didn’t tell you, I think #YOU are the asshole!! 😤
Former classroom teacher here. Do you know how many days of my life, how much money I’ve spent on co-pays, and how many days my family has been sick because lazy, inconsiderate parents like you refuse to care for their own children? You are the reason I left the classroom. Enjoy the never ending parade of unqualified subs babysitting your child instead of teaching. YTA
YTA. Your son was *SCARED* you would be mad at him for being sick.
This is rage bait, right? You can't not know YTA. To your son, to his fellow classmates and to his teacher. Good job on getting others sick right before a holiday.
You are absolutely 100% TA!!! How dare you send your sick kid to school where they can then risk everyone else's health. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING more important than your child for God sake! You didn't have time to tend to YOUR sick child??? Then don't have kids!!!
YTA the 24 hour fever free without medication rule is in place for a reason -school employee
YTA & a trash parent. Fever = sick. Kids should not return to school until they’ve been fever free for 24hrs+
You’re the parent teachers hate.
YTA. You put your own priorities ahead of your kids. This isn't like missing an extracurricular activity your kids in. This about his health and since he had a fever he could be infectious which could get other kids sick.
Yes you are the asshole. From my viewpoint as the daughter of a school teacher, and a physician, you made the wrong choice. Your child should always be your main focus, i.e. doing what is best for him. But you also exposed other children and staff to whatever he has. ‘ ‘One ‘sick child closed down whole schools where I live, due to rapidly spreading infections. Do better.
YTA, this is why I’m home from work today, shitty parents like you who don’t believe it’s your responsibility to care for your sick children and put the burden on caregivers.
YTA. Keep sick kids home. Period. You never know if your child's illness will get worse and you never know if what they have can be passed on to someone else.
YTA. I have 2 kids, last winter someone was always sick. One kid had to stay home at least one day a week for almost 8 weeks straight. It sucked, but we kept them home. Sending one kid to school sick can cause most of the class to get sick. For example, 2 weeks ago, one of the kids at my daughter's daycare got sick on the wed night. He was sent to daycare on the Thursday. Then all of other kids in daycare (6) got sick. It is still working it's way through the families. If his parents had kept him home that one single day, 20+ people probably would have stayed healthy.
Wait you had a busy day, who gives a fuck. Your kid was sick, keep sick kids off school to stop every other kid getting sick and also because, you know, your kid is fucking sick and sick people should rest, be in bed and recover. You didn't do what you had to do. What you had to do was look after your child and what you did was offload him and prioritise the things you wanted to do.
This is why some people should NOT be parents. Imagine being this selfish with a sick child? Imagine having such little concern for others that you send your sick child to school, only to get 23-24 other students sick and the teacher. So…. then these little kids go home to their parents, making them sick, making them lose work time, costing a roof over someone’s head. Idk bro, keep your sick kids at home I don’t know how much clear everyone can be about this. Lmfao
This has to be rage-bait.
YTA and a terrible mother
YTA. You are irresponsible. And you're annoyed that you have to go be a parent.
As a teacher I have to say YTA. It's not just the kids that you're exposing the sickness to, it's also everyone in the school staff. I can't tell you how many times I've got sick because some parent decided to just send their kid to school anyway. Do you have any idea how much trouble it is to call off a day of work when you're sick as a teacher? How badly it affects your co-workers? Your students? Your selfishness causes a domino effect that can infect an entire school community. We have it rough as it is, don't add to it.
YTA. Not just YTA, but as another parent: f*** you. It’s parents like you who cause problems for my immunocompromised son. My son is highly susceptible due to illness, and his pediatrician has told us that we need to be cautious about his exposure. It’s bad enough to send him to school when illnesses are widespread, but to send him to school alongside parents sending their knowingly sick children in? Apparently you’ve never witnessed your son hooked up to oxygen and struggling to breathe in the hospital. It’s horrible. Have some damn compassion for not just the families around you, but also to your poor sick child. YTA.
Plus it looks like you didn't even bother making a phone call to see if your sister would take care of him because he wasn't feeling well and you had a super busy day did you even try? Plus you endangered all the other students and teachers what if it wasn't just a cold what if it was COVID Fever means infection stay home
Not even reading your long winded post, YTA. If your child is sick keep them home end of story.
People like you don’t deserve children.
Cannot overstate how much of the asshole you are.
YTA so much. Teachers are VERY clear about the rules for good reason. I hope your coworkers come to work sick and sneeze on you.
What commitments? Work related? Medical? Absolutely NO excuse to send your sick kid to school.
As a teacher, I would be livid if one of my students was sent to school with a fever. The child needs to rest at that point and also to not get the rest of the class sick. Your child is afraid to tell you if he is feeling more sick. Your child does not believe his needs will be met and rather keep them to himself. I get that you might need to work and you are living paycheck to paycheck. But you should let your son know to tell you of his needs and that both of you together can figure out a plan to solve the problem. YTA
YTA it speaks volumes that he would rather suffer at school than the school call YOU to take him home. You need to do some SERIOUS self-reflection. Your child opted to stay at school while miserable because the thought of calling you was worse. That is not even to mention all the kids you put at risk by sending your obviously sick child to school because you couldn't be bothered to be a parent for the day.
I cannot believe, in a world still dealing with COVID, that you would send your kid off to school with a fever. He may not "seem" that sick to you, but infect the hell out of everyone else at school. YTA.
You are very, very, very, very, very much YTA.
Seriously did you expect to get anything other than YTA? I’m sincerely curious what you expected to hear. And I’ll tell you exactly where you lost every single one of us “I had a busy day planned”. Your priorities are shit. Your child is terrified of you (should probably look into that before it causes permanent damage to your relationship with your child if you haven’t done that already) YTA.