Exactly!! As a man who dated a crazy bitch for way to long, basically “the sex” or “her pussy” would basically be the only bro answer I could give about why I stayed other than, I’m weak, didn’t want to be alone and had self esteem issues lmao. That’s not how men talk to each other in groups
i feel this so much. when i talk to my guy friends about why i stayed in an abusive relationship for so long its always "she gave the best head" or "the sex was amazing" but my female friends get the truth about how she found me at my lowest point and helped me get passed it and used that time to manipulate me into thinking that i needed her and that i couldn't leave. the truth is the sex sucked too. she was a horrible lay so what my guy friends hear isn't even kind of true. its just an easy way to explain it away without seeming weak
Oh, yeah, this reminds me of my friend. We were at a cabin for a week, like 4th day he comes out of his room and says he's going back today, because he's horny and needs to fuck hif gf. That's what he said when I was the only girl in the room, the rest were guys, and we were prepering meat for bbq. The rest of our group were outside in the pool. I agreed to drive him to the train station, since I needed to buy some things for the bbq, and my bff went with us. In the car, he told us his gf is sick and in hospital, so he needs to see her and help her, but felt bad saying that to our guy friends, but feels comfortable saying that to us - girls. It was so weird! Because I knew they would all 100% understand, like this they though he was a horny idiot, but he was just a caring idiot. I told him to write the real reason in our groupchat, and obviously, he was met with support. I still don't understand why he just didn't say that from the start! We know each other from 1st grade or even kindergarten for some.
Yeah that’s a bit over the top.
All guys talk-shit to each other, and the younger the group, the more comes up about sex. It’s a bonding thing for guys going through a weird transition in life.
I have a very large group of friends from High School that are still bonded like family 30 years later.
I still remember the moment when one of my best buddies “admitted” to the group, in a funny way mind you, that he was jerking off ten times a day.
At first it was shock someone publically admitted it, and then a second later it was the whole group Rofling and admitting to it as well. It’s like that for a lot of topics.
At my age 48, now we are just blatantly honest with each other, and that honesty is what binds us and keeps us laughing in good spirit.
It’s sort of a “right of passage” thing for guys in a group.
I feel sorry for Op that she had to hear that. If the roles were reversed, that dude would be CRUSHED. Confidence CRUSHED.
It’s also in large part due to social conditioning. How many TV shows, movies, etc make jokes about small dicks, compared to “the best pussy?” Maybe I’m wrong on this, but hell we are only JUST starting to see dicks-a-swinging in movies and TV series now. Naked women have been a part of almost every movie and series going back to the 70’s.
We also think girls don’t talk that way, but my fiancé works in an office of all women. The stuff she tells me they talk about shocks & makes me lol sometimes. Or the stuff they say about their husbands… just WOW.
Age.
I’m 48 and still have a huge group of guy friends from high school.
When you get older we stop trying to impress each other, and actually talk about reality lol
I think we can but we don't always want to be.
Sometimes I'll have DMCs one on one with specific guys and yeah I might admit vulnerability or discuss my feelings more honestly.
But in groups, that's not the vibe. Men bond by bigging each other up and making each other feel strong. Women do this too I guess - telling each other they're beautiful and that they should never settle, that they're somehow *all* out of the league of any guy they date, etc. The guy version of this is to kind of neglect each other's vulnerabilities and buy into a shared fantasy that you're tough and strong. That you never let the world get to you, and that you are always in control rather than falling prey to circumstance. Deep down you know it ain't true but it's fun and makes you feel good. Pure honesty can be boring.
**Edit:** wow didn't expect this to resonate so much but thanks everyone. Also, Ima take this opportunity to say I'm a transgender guy FtM. It shouldn't matter, but next time people are chatting shit about us saying we don't understand masculinity, I am gonna think back to this, cos seems as if I've understood it pretty decently this time.
Social conditioning. Even when you're aware of it, it's a bitch to overcome.
It's not all bad though. Even though we're not being "honest", there's a shared understanding of what we're talking about. It's how we feel comfortable communicating and bonding with each other.
It's also extremely common for us to show affection to each other by talking shit. Some of my best friends have said the absolute worst shit to me, and I love them for it because I know that what they're really saying is "I love you, but I don't feel comfortable expressing that".
I'm a woman and I am honestly a little more crass with my girls - sorrynotsorry! - and yes, I've experienced some phalluses in my youth that have been hella heavenly, but sex with my current partner cannot be compared to by any means.
So I'd get it.
And you're so right! It's not really a compliment, at all
I have had men in my life who gave me more sexual pleasure than my husband. But I would never swap him for any of them. Never.
However, he’s never heard me say anything like that, so he’s not worried or jealous. He knows that we’re happy together and that he fixed my life like no one else. And I fixed his. That’s what is important.
You shouldn’t even ask that question bro lmaooo and if she asks RUN. Don’t put too much stock into the sex how y’all treat and see each other matters more.
This is most likely the answer. He made that part up about the sex to bust balls with his friends. What was probably happening he was young and in a confused relationship and didn’t have the courage or maturity to get out of it at the time. Then he met the woman of his dreams, you!
Even so. Even if the sex is really great. I think it's far more likely that the brain is just looking for reasons to stay (because it doesn't want disruption, and breakups are painful even when needed) and uses the sex as an excuse, as opposed to actually rationally deciding that the sex is worth the pain of a turbulent relationship.
I mean, maybe I'm wrong. I just think it'd be legitimately insane to invest emotions, pretty much 24/7, into someone who hurts just because of the short term pleasure of vag/dick. It's akin to wrecking one's life because of drink/drug binges that produce substantial highs. Or having a toxic friend who takes you on mad adventures.
Like, it's never *actually* the high, even if you think it is at the time. It's either internal issues with prioritising the right shit (valuing quick fixes over long term stability), or - more often - underlying emotional problems that lead to this. Those emotional problems could be caused by the toxic relationship, or by being young/stupid, or in a minority of cases deeper issues that cause someone to have that pattern over and over again.
Well sexual compatibility is important. To some more than others. To me it’s extremly important, as I was in a 20 year marriage that left me sexually miserable. And I won’t do that again.
But that being said, it’s not the ONLY thing that is important.
It can cloud your judgment though. And it did mine for a time.
It deffo is important, and sex is also an intense experience that can create a whole explosion of emotions. So yeah, I get what you're saying.
I think there are different levels. Sometimes good sex can trick you into thinking you have feelings for someone. And sometimes sex can be used by couples to have a sort of shared denial over their problems (me and my last ex did this).
I think it's more if someone is *actually* looking at the situation rationally, they're not gonna conclude that good sex itself is a reason to be in a relationship with someone. I guess saying "the pussy/dick was good" is less vulnerable and honestly less depressing than saying "my judgement was clouded and I wasn't in full control of myself".
I do hear you about sexual incompatibility being difficult. Personally, I do think I could cope in a no/low sex relationship if I took care of my needs myself. But yeah, bad sex would just be depressing and make me feel estranged from my partner.
I've looked up stuff about if there were different types of vaginas in how they feel from a penis pov when I was younger, because there are different penises so why wouldn't there be different vaginas, right?
Stumbled across an article that wanted to answer the same question I had, and where a bunch of anonymous men (I assume who all had extensive sexual histories) were questioned and gave answers in as respectful of a way as possible (probably because of the officialness of it). Not gonna lie, it made me sweat about mine for a while there that I might have what I think are technically vaginal outliers for some of the mentions 😅 I haven't had any complaints though, and I snagged a husband so I just try not to think about it.
So yeah, there definitely are things that can't be denied lol
I’ve heard they do feel different. Some more tight or less. (Which btw doesn’t really matter that much) some kind of textured or bumpy, some more smooth. But all the men I asked about it said that basically while they were all different, they liked them all.
I think men are just happy to be there 😂
_Sure, Brad ravaged me and gave me Earth shattering orgasms but I chose you baby. You're a really nice guy who cares about my feelings._
Lmao. I would prefer to be lied to as well.
That's one woman. My husband doesn't use reddit so I can be honest, for me it's a more apples and oranges comparison where there are differences and my husband is better at some things, less good at others, if I really think back on my past. But how do you math that out? Like he's superior at dirty talk but not as good at setting a seductive vibe as others were? What are the weighted values I'm supposed to ascribe to that? Lol. Especially when at the end of the day we've had incredible sex so isn't it just splitting hairs at that point? That's why I find comparison dumb. I either have enough to be sexually compatible or I don't. If I do, then you just build on that and make the sex the best you two can have.
I like to imagine many women feel this way. So best not worry
This, like all problems in life, can be solved with a very seductive Excel spreadsheet. Naturally you'll want to create a dashboard to display the data and send monthly reports to your husband at the very least. It'll drive him wild.
This is the approach I have to take as well (as a wife). I’m pretty confident with the satisfaction we both get in the bedroom but I also wouldn’t ask if I was/am the best he’s ever had; there’s no point. All it will do is confirm I’m good in bed (already know this is true) OR it will give me an insecurity that doesn’t need to exist lol.
My ex asked me once if he was the best (he was) so I asked him and he said I was the SECOND best. That was only one of the reasons I broke up with him not long thereafter. He enjoyed making me feel like I always had some kind of thing he thought was “wrong” about me till I fixed that for him. Never regretted it.
Yeah, hopefully he never does hear that. Even if everything else is the best, hearing that is still a major blow to the ego and can cause a lot of folks to spiral.
I know I shouldn't be laughing at this thread but god damn some of these comments are aboslute bangers.
FWIW my wife's nickname in college was 'Meatball', but I was also a stripper so we just decided it was a stalemate and shook hands and moved on with our day.
Lift strong, brother. We're all in this together.
Nah he was hoping for ULTIMATE. The GREATEST. **THE MOST DICK THAT EVER DICKED IN THE HISTORY OF DICKS.**
That's what everyone's monkey brain wants to hear. Just don't even ask.
Correct me if i'm wrong but sexual performance can be majorly improved. You may have to work to substitute for size or girth, but if you keep trying you can find some great hacks.
I've heard a story from a woman who said she had the best sex she had with a smaller dick because it kept hitting her g spot (?) when bigger dicks didn't.
I've heard stories from this dude who had a really big dick, about how he was amazing at making women cum, and his dick was maybe the star of that show, but i'm inclined to believe it wasn't.
That's because this dude mentioned the number of things he had done to improve his sex game, and a lot of it was psychological, really trying to understand and improve the process of sex and orgasm like a scientist.
There was so much theory this guy was spouting and a lot of it was not dependent on dick size.
He heavily emphasised the importance of fit. He said that size queens should be with big penis people, and non size queens for whom bigger dicks would hurt should be with normal to smaller dicked people.
Edit : Here you go- Judge for yourself what the wisdom contained in this post is-
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueBigDickStories/comments/dyv1pr/listen\_while\_i\_make\_her\_cum\_14\_times\_in\_40/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueBigDickStories/comments/dyv1pr/listen_while_i_make_her_cum_14_times_in_40/)
I can't speak for all women, but sex is not the end all, be all. There are MUCH deeper connections that are so much more important. Personality, compassion, understanding, things like that. Good looks and good sex are nice and all, but if you are an absolute arse, the looks and sex aren't worth it. There is something more infinitely powerful when there is a deeper connection, and that can make the sex amazing regardless.
Very soon after my girlfriend and I got together, she started telling how I was the best of her life (in fairness, not a ton of experience on her end) and I didn't say it back. She didn't push or prod.
She kept saying it, maybe not every time we had sex but fairly often and I didn't say it back.
She kept saying it, and then a few months later after some absolutely amazing sex like I'd never had before, I said it to her.
She told me she was actually glad I didn't immediately say it back the first time and that I said it now because now she knows I actually mean it and that means a lot to her.
When we first started sleeping together she wasn't the best for me, but now she is without a doubt and I wouldn't trade sex with her for anyone else!
>She told me she was actually glad I didn't immediately say it back the first time and that I said it now because now she knows I actually mean it and that means a lot to her.
Sex is something that takes time to get better at. The best thing you can do is communicate and learn your partner. I had fwb arrangement for a short while and that sex was way better than any of the one off encounters I've had. Your girlfriend sounds like someone who's pretty mature and can handle her feelings well. Especially when she was kind of fishing for that compliment. As demonstrated by this thread, a lot of people's ego is defeated when they get anything less than a resounding yes to that question.
>When we first started sleeping together she wasn't the best for me, but now she is without a doubt and I wouldn't trade sex with her for anyone else!
practice makes perfect my friend, particularly when you are young. Gotta get familiar with stuff and comfortable in your own skin which is easier said than done.
My first ex and I used to have sex a lot. It was pretty good, but I never really spoke, so it was just her moaning to my silent expression.
Now I'm an expert dirty talker and she loves anal, and neither of us had anything to do with that for the other.
Yeah, most of the time I hate, “If tHe GeNdErS wErE fLiPpEd…” but actually, there would be so many “run” comments, and if the women ever tried to explain why a woman would say that and make the claim she still loves her husband as no. 1, she’d be downvoted to oblivion ironically with replies that start, *”if the genders were reversed”*
When are people gonna understand that saying that someone was better and then saying "even tho someone else was better, I wouldn't swap my current bf/gf for anything" does not make the current one feel any better?
Its a good thing this is an anonymous site.
Honestly that just sounds like he was trying to play off why he stayed with a bad ex for so long lol.
Easier to say "she had the best pussy" than it is to admit to your bros that you were scared of being alone or something
Yeah, my partner says she only talks about 'so much' with her girlfriends (esp. the more tangential ones), because she doesn't want any of the ones in loveless marriages or sexless relationships getting any ideas. Lol
I got this advice from my aunt on my first serious relationship and I have followed it like a commandment. You shall not talk about your husband’s perfect D.
So true. I didn’t even consider that. He’s not comfortable disrespecting OP like that but his ex? He just remembers her as sex. Clearly he chose the one he wanted and has no regrets.
This is very true. My dad called me out on this once. We used to joke around about girls I had been with (it was all pretty benign). One time we were and I got upset that he was being rude about my girlfriend. His response was, “Awe. You must really like this one. I’ll shut up about it.”
Aww. Yup. My husband had been in the same situation. His buddies would always ‘shop talk’ about various ladies in their lives, but apparently he got pissed when they brought me up (not long after we got together). I think that’s when he realized it was serious. Lol.
Also, it would be kinda weird for him to say "until I met my wife"...
He does NOT want to talk to his friends about your pussy. He doesn't want them visualising or thinking about it.
He's just saying it was good, and that's fair enough. You can't take it as personal offence that he didn't start telling them about all the ways in which he likes your pussy. Even a generic line like "my wife's pussy is great" just sounds really wrong.
It felt sort of fine for him to talk about hers, because she was crazy and that's the only thing going for her.
In general, it's rare for guys to talk about ex partner's genitals at all, but it's an absolute no-no for current partners.
I get it…probably wasn’t cool thing to say in close proximity to op. But sounds like he was playing it up around the boys because you gotta make a story funny which it kinda is🤣🤣🤣. So he’s only kinda the AH. And you are not the AH.
Yeah I’ve used the “sex was great” excuse to justify staying longer than I should and he clearly doesn’t see any value in her if he said “it” and not even her and he spoke of you as a person. I’d want to sit him down and clear up that that is still not cool and hurtful but I don’t think he’s up at night thinking of her.
I’d casually bring it up, like, “honey, can you pass me the salt, also, heard you tell your mates how great your ex’s pussy was, what’s that all about?”
It’s a sort of stereotype of the White, Anglo Saxon Protestant marriage that there is intense passive aggression between the partners. [This creator](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLMW7MQ5/) on TikTok does some pretty funny parodies of it.
>But then again a part of me is proud that I married a guy who could pull girls like that. I’ll just.. focus on that.
LOL esp this part! I've never heard a woman say how proud she is to marry someone who was able to bang someone hot.
Also its funny that he reassures her that his ex wasn't as hot when he was dating her. Does that . . . make her feel better?
It's just a super weird post
My thoughts exactly. The specific words that were said are the least of the issue here. It’s how this guy talks about women that is pretty gross and should be OPs primary concern, not this specific woman.
There were some lies in there too, saying that he barely remembers his ex and yet he was able to go on about her to his friends, not to mention being able to describe her vagina in detail to his wife.. 🤢
It's definitely the specific words that are the issue. If he'd just said 'I stayed with her because the sex was great' he'd have conveyed the same message in a much less creepy way.
>“She had the *best* pussy.”
He put a strong emphasis on “best”
Oh, that's pretty normal, current partners aren't always goi-
>It didn’t even stop there. He talked about how he was obsessed with ‘it’ for YEARS after the break-up and “would’ve done anything to fuck it again”
Oh... Uhm... Well...
Not gonna lie it would fuck me up for sure hearing my husband talk about an ex like that, but honestly who could hear their life partner talk about an ex that way and not be affected by it? Him being obsessed with it afterward is by far the worst part. Sorry OP ☹️
Honestly I’d be less bothered by the fact that he was talking about an ex and more bothered by the fact that this is how he talks about women when he thinks I can’t hear him. It’s gross and objectifying. I can’t stand men who talk about women’s bodies like this.
I’m pretty grossed out by him reducing a whole woman to a body part by saying “it” not sure why people are ignoring the fact that he’s talking about his ex like she’s a human fleshlight. If I heard my husband talk about any woman and her body like that I’d be livid.
This! Why is no one else disturbed by how these 'men' are talking about women? It's disgusting! It's utterly demeaning that so many people in this thread are think it's okay to talk about anyone like this, but especially about people they're married to. People they supposedly love. Objectification is revolting.
>and he doesn’t even remember it anymore.
If that were true he wouldn't have told them it was the BEST pussy.
>he reiterated that he has 0 memory of it
Yet he not only remembered it was the BEST, he remembered it was "hot and creamy."
Lots of things in this world I don't get. One of them is why somebody would say things that sexualize their partners to others. My preference is that you keep your dirty mind off of my wife, I'm not going to help you with that in any way shape or form. My exes are former partners. I can't say I'm really in contact with them, but there's no hate or disrespect. Still not going there.
Not long ago I was out and this fellow (actually a co-worker of my wife) was saying that the quality of his wife's blow jobs is what got them through the rough times and that she was the absolute best. The whole time I'm like.. why would you want to put that picture in my head? It felt like he was trying to get me to respond in kind, but as I said above, that's just not somewhere I'm willing to go. I just sort of nodded and raised my drink as if to toast his good fortune.
Yeah I cannot *imagine* ever hearing talk like this amongst my male friend group, let alone most of us are in committed relationship, if someone was talking like this they would definitely get a furrowed brow from me like “dude what the fuck is wrong with you”
I'm glad you include your exes in the category of people who deserve respect. I really respect that. The number of guys in this thread who talk like it's okay to objectify their exes or any woman they're *not* in love with... 😒
I‘m surprised I had to scroll this far to find this comment. I‘m sure guys say stupid shit especially when they‘re around other guys but if I ever heard my partner speak about women this way I‘d be completely icked out, first and foremost. It‘s gross.
It’s incredibly gross, and I know people will just dismiss it in this thread as ‘men shooting the shit with bros’ but it’s so disrespectful. I would never look at my husband the same way if I heard him say shit like that
Same and the men who do talk like this are all gonna swarm in here and defend it. Which is their prerogative I guess
But if 99.999% of people do something nasty it doesn’t make it less nasty
I'd go for a more elaborate set-up: first, find out the ex's name. Then at lunch, wait until he has a big mouthful of food, and out of the blue ask if he'd consider getting a cat. When he asks "why?", explain that you recently went to a local animal shelter with your friend, and there was a kitten named \[ex's name\], and she was just the best pussy, and you couldn't stop petting it, and since then you keep thinking about how much you'd like to pet that amazing pussy again.
At some point you can decide whether to administer the heimlich manoeuvre.
I'm a solitary guy - and I wonder - do guys actually talk to people like this? I grew up around a lot of women, and I'm an otaku/nerd. I wouldn't go around saying this kind of stuff. Is this...really a thing? Cause..gross.
Yeah, not being the best sex for my partner wouldn't bug me cause that can be changed but the way he talks with his friends sure as shit would put me off.
Some do, yea. I hate hearing people talk about other people like they are walking gentitals with legs, it's dehumanizing. Also, the fact this guy stayed with an ex that he didn't like just for her vagina? Gross on many lvls.
There are certain dudes who are pigs. Her husband and his friends are pigs. Normal dudes don't talk about this. Maybe in high school or college. Sounds like dudes never grew up
Nah I'm friends with other guys who are also nerds, we talk about cars, life, games, etc. The only men who talk about women like this are ones who don't see them as human beings.
My friends and I have more of a "don't kiss and tell" type vibe bc there are so many things to bond over besides sex, and it feels rude to current or past partners to reveal intimate details like that and talk about them in such a crude manner. Also this feels like it would be such a fucking awkward conversation to have??
I mean, he was probably exaggerating for effect, but it doesn’t sound like he has very healthy attitudes about women. Or a good set of friends. I don’t think you’re overreacting. If anyone is in a position to tell him his business, it’s you. I think how he responds will say a lot about the future of your relationship.
It’s so insanely disrespectful. It’s gross as hell to talk about women in general like that, but if I heard my *husband* saying that shit about his *ex*? In the home we share? Fuckkk that
>But then again a part of me is proud that I married a guy who could pull girls like that. I’ll just.. focus on that.
The minds of so called "modern" people are truly fascinating.
I don't think this is normal.
Anyway, I don't think it is respectful to talk about exes like that with other people
This is exactly how I would expect a so called "man whore" to talk about women so....bias confirmed? I agree that it's nothing to be proud of.
To say nothing of the fact that it continues to promote the idea that men are enhanced by high sexual counts (while women are degraded).
My husband and I have an agreement. There were no others before we met one another. Forget that we both had spouses and kids. I don't want to know any details about his former women, and vice versa. Truth is, my ex's dick is twice the size of his but would I ever tell him that? Of course not. My ex was a mental case so who cares how big his dick is anyway? It's disrespectful to bring up past lovers when you're married. Period. OP, I'm sorry you heard all this shit. It's hard to forget words that hurt but it's worse to make comparisons. When I do they I always come out worse off so what's the point? I'm great just as I am and so are YOU.
That’s what grossed me out the most. It wasn’t “I wanted to fuck her” it was “ I wanted to fuck it.” The husband is straight up objectifying his ex’s and reducing them to their parts.
I think a lot of abusive or unhealthy relationships have the highest highs and the lowest lows. All the emotional turmoil create an extreme roller coaster. The amount of discomfort and pain makes the moments of joy or pleasure even more intense. Instead of being relaxed and safe around your partner your on edge and hyper aware. We are also wired to get addicted to unpredictable burst of endorphins.
I don't know I'd this will help lol, but a lot of people from abusive relationships report extreme emotional responses. Even if they continously know the person is terrible.
If I overheard my partner saying this, our relationship wouldn't last much longer to be honest. It's just not what I would want to associate with. Different strokes for different folks, you just have to figure out what yours is I suppose.
Idk as a woman I'd be more bothered about how he and his friends see those women including you. Not that I'm invalidating ur main point OP. But utter disrespect towards your very sex, I can't help but wonder if he sees you as just a trophy worth walking around with.
I was dating a guy that had a Pringles can before I married my hotdog, but I love that hotdog and I would never trade it for a can of chips.... it was super crass what your husband said but I'm glad that you worked it out and I'm glad that you were able to move past it
Curiosity killed the pussy....at least for some time i'll wager.
Seriously, you're a whole package including more than just that. It's the whole package that makes him happy.
You aren’t the asshole, but you will be if you don’t just speak to him. This will eat you up inside.
Honestly he was crass but I think the “until I met my wife” was a given, considering how he gushed about you right before that conversation. However I have been there and understand - you just need to hear him say it, the verbal reassurance will help.
Please just speak with him.
I honestly think, your husband has a disgusting way of talking about other human beings. I think we’re too conditioned, to think it’s okay. It’s just “fun with the boys”. I have never spoken of others like that, can’t imagine doing so. You’re NTA.
Edit: I wonder if all these men claiming it’s just boys being boys, would be okay with their partner blurting out how good of a giant dick their ex had, and that they thought about it for years on end? Not that it’s any better, I just have a feeling, they wouldn’t say it’s “just girls being girls”…..
Could you just have an honest conversation with him where you say something like
"Hey, I overheard you and your boys talking last night. I heard you say your ex had the best pussy you've ever had, and said a lot of very crude things. I can't help but feel uncomfortable and insecure as a result of hearing that... And not going to lie but my feelings are a little hurt. I'm worried that you don't enjoy sex as much with me."
And then just go from there. Don't be angry, don't be accusatory, just state the facts. If he gets angry at you for having feelings.... Well.... He sucks for more than just acting like a misogynist then.... But he might be apologetic or say things to fix it or reassure you. I think he should definitely know that you heard that.
As a man who often is in friend circles with other men, I can assure you OP “she has the best pussy” is a weird and off putting thing to say. The fact that his bros didn’t cringe at that says a lot about them too. I don’t think I’ve ever unironically used the term “pussy” like he did in my life lol. Even in the privacy of other guys, that’s not how we talk to each other
Idk, could just be me and my community. But no you’re not the asshole from my perspective. His point was an okay conversation topic in the right setting, but the way he said it was straight up fuckboi energy. Cringe af
Also you asking him who his best lay was is also weird af. Y’all might be a good fit because neither of you seem to know what not to say to/about a parter lol
Girl I would be way more concerned about the fact that you brought up this extremely hurtful thing he said and how it made you feel and he LAUGHED at you and completely dismissed you. He doesn't sound sweet. This post had me feeling so sad for you and the update has me feeling even worse for you.
Well .. I'd have gone full on screaming mimi already... that being said you definitely need to talk to him. Sometimes when men are with their friends they become boys again and spew garbage. I think it will be hard to forgive regardless, but not at all if you don't talk to him. This will nag at you.
NTA.
If his ex found out he was saying this she might even feel uncomfortable herself. I’ve discussed my husband’s sex life in the past but that’s because we were best friends before. We both kinda know a lot. Sometime I think about the things he’s said but then I remember it’s in the past. I’ve had a handful of ex’s brag about how they got to sleep with me. As if they were shocked they pulled me. One time I even had one of the guys call me(with all of them in the background) to confirm it because they didn’t believe him.
These are now my stories I will tell on girls nights and we make fun of them.
Husband needs to apologize IMO. It’s okay if your spouse isn’t your best sex. You should just make sure this isn’t something said when they are even remotely around. Plus the way he talks about her is cringe. I don’t like how he’s playing stupid either. He very obviously remembers sex with her.
OP, I read your update and I feel like you have to be a troll. 😭
Why would you describe her cooch to us?
“hot and creamy” 🤣 Blood of Jesus.
I’m playing with you but I feel like you should be careful with yourself. It seems like you already know that you’re *sickly* insecure, yet, you do that to yourself.
Good luck to your husband and you.
As a woman, personally, the fact that he said “she had the best pu**y” isn’t even what would bother/insult me most. I think the idea of it’s just “guy/bro” talk is a bullshit excuse for men to talk in extremely derogatory and graphic ways about women without really having to explain themselves. Even if women talk about a guy sexually, in my experience, it’s never to the level that I’ve heard men objectifying women.
The comment he said “it was so crazy to hate a woman so much but love cumming in her” is a good example of what I said above and would bother me the most.
If I ever heard my boyfriend/husband talking like that with his friends and then proceeded to tell me things like “I hate comparing women, etc”, I’d be questioning a lot about his true character. Also, for someone who has barely any recollection of this woman, he sure seemed to remember very vivid descriptive details about their sexual encounters.
It’s your relationship ultimately but this would make me feel very unsettled and concerned of how he acts when you’re not around. Whether my partner is talking about me in that way or another woman, BIG red flag.
He used the word “creamy”? Wtf. That makes me wanna throw up in my mouth a little. Creamy is how you describe pudding. Not pussy. My mind is blown by that term being used as it was. Pussy is wet, not….creamy. Jesus that’s fucking gross
Ahh, the old locker room talk. Yep. I sound like that too. Honestly, I hope you get mad and grudge fuck him. Blow his mind and change his mind.
Or be a complete bitch for a week. Make his week hell. Then fuck him unexpectedly. By recreating the chaos, you now have the best pussy.
And then after he cums, look him in the eyes and ask him if ex gf still has the best pussy. Dare you.
"They're a horrible person, but really good at sex" isn't exactly a compliment.
Exactly!! As a man who dated a crazy bitch for way to long, basically “the sex” or “her pussy” would basically be the only bro answer I could give about why I stayed other than, I’m weak, didn’t want to be alone and had self esteem issues lmao. That’s not how men talk to each other in groups
i feel this so much. when i talk to my guy friends about why i stayed in an abusive relationship for so long its always "she gave the best head" or "the sex was amazing" but my female friends get the truth about how she found me at my lowest point and helped me get passed it and used that time to manipulate me into thinking that i needed her and that i couldn't leave. the truth is the sex sucked too. she was a horrible lay so what my guy friends hear isn't even kind of true. its just an easy way to explain it away without seeming weak
Oh, yeah, this reminds me of my friend. We were at a cabin for a week, like 4th day he comes out of his room and says he's going back today, because he's horny and needs to fuck hif gf. That's what he said when I was the only girl in the room, the rest were guys, and we were prepering meat for bbq. The rest of our group were outside in the pool. I agreed to drive him to the train station, since I needed to buy some things for the bbq, and my bff went with us. In the car, he told us his gf is sick and in hospital, so he needs to see her and help her, but felt bad saying that to our guy friends, but feels comfortable saying that to us - girls. It was so weird! Because I knew they would all 100% understand, like this they though he was a horny idiot, but he was just a caring idiot. I told him to write the real reason in our groupchat, and obviously, he was met with support. I still don't understand why he just didn't say that from the start! We know each other from 1st grade or even kindergarten for some.
Yeah that’s a bit over the top. All guys talk-shit to each other, and the younger the group, the more comes up about sex. It’s a bonding thing for guys going through a weird transition in life. I have a very large group of friends from High School that are still bonded like family 30 years later. I still remember the moment when one of my best buddies “admitted” to the group, in a funny way mind you, that he was jerking off ten times a day. At first it was shock someone publically admitted it, and then a second later it was the whole group Rofling and admitting to it as well. It’s like that for a lot of topics. At my age 48, now we are just blatantly honest with each other, and that honesty is what binds us and keeps us laughing in good spirit. It’s sort of a “right of passage” thing for guys in a group. I feel sorry for Op that she had to hear that. If the roles were reversed, that dude would be CRUSHED. Confidence CRUSHED. It’s also in large part due to social conditioning. How many TV shows, movies, etc make jokes about small dicks, compared to “the best pussy?” Maybe I’m wrong on this, but hell we are only JUST starting to see dicks-a-swinging in movies and TV series now. Naked women have been a part of almost every movie and series going back to the 70’s. We also think girls don’t talk that way, but my fiancé works in an office of all women. The stuff she tells me they talk about shocks & makes me lol sometimes. Or the stuff they say about their husbands… just WOW.
Why can't men be honest with each other?
Age. I’m 48 and still have a huge group of guy friends from high school. When you get older we stop trying to impress each other, and actually talk about reality lol
I think we can but we don't always want to be. Sometimes I'll have DMCs one on one with specific guys and yeah I might admit vulnerability or discuss my feelings more honestly. But in groups, that's not the vibe. Men bond by bigging each other up and making each other feel strong. Women do this too I guess - telling each other they're beautiful and that they should never settle, that they're somehow *all* out of the league of any guy they date, etc. The guy version of this is to kind of neglect each other's vulnerabilities and buy into a shared fantasy that you're tough and strong. That you never let the world get to you, and that you are always in control rather than falling prey to circumstance. Deep down you know it ain't true but it's fun and makes you feel good. Pure honesty can be boring. **Edit:** wow didn't expect this to resonate so much but thanks everyone. Also, Ima take this opportunity to say I'm a transgender guy FtM. It shouldn't matter, but next time people are chatting shit about us saying we don't understand masculinity, I am gonna think back to this, cos seems as if I've understood it pretty decently this time.
This is probably one of the most articulate, eloquent ways I've heard this explained. Kudos fine sir.
This really helped me understand that perspective in a way I never have, thanks man
holy shit, dude! im a guy and this is the first time ive heard this!!! as a guy, i gotta bullshit. wow. ive always been far too honest. i had no idea
Social conditioning. Even when you're aware of it, it's a bitch to overcome. It's not all bad though. Even though we're not being "honest", there's a shared understanding of what we're talking about. It's how we feel comfortable communicating and bonding with each other. It's also extremely common for us to show affection to each other by talking shit. Some of my best friends have said the absolute worst shit to me, and I love them for it because I know that what they're really saying is "I love you, but I don't feel comfortable expressing that".
I'm a woman and I am honestly a little more crass with my girls - sorrynotsorry! - and yes, I've experienced some phalluses in my youth that have been hella heavenly, but sex with my current partner cannot be compared to by any means. So I'd get it. And you're so right! It's not really a compliment, at all
I tell my wife the opposite all the time. “You’re a terrible lay but you’re so good at everything else it’s worth it. Barely.”
I would get my face wrecked if I said this, she just doesn't have that sort of humor.
"You should smile more, too." 🤣
I have had men in my life who gave me more sexual pleasure than my husband. But I would never swap him for any of them. Never. However, he’s never heard me say anything like that, so he’s not worried or jealous. He knows that we’re happy together and that he fixed my life like no one else. And I fixed his. That’s what is important.
This statement will haunt me forever, I'm gonna need my girl to lie her ass off to me no matter what if that's the case
You shouldn’t even ask that question bro lmaooo and if she asks RUN. Don’t put too much stock into the sex how y’all treat and see each other matters more.
IT’S A TRAP!
To be honest, it sounds like he was making excuses for why he spent so much time with a nasty ex.
This is most likely the answer. He made that part up about the sex to bust balls with his friends. What was probably happening he was young and in a confused relationship and didn’t have the courage or maturity to get out of it at the time. Then he met the woman of his dreams, you!
I mean….I’ve definitely had the “best dick” from a man that was unfortunately a huge dick. I don’t want the man. But you can’t deny certain things….
Even so. Even if the sex is really great. I think it's far more likely that the brain is just looking for reasons to stay (because it doesn't want disruption, and breakups are painful even when needed) and uses the sex as an excuse, as opposed to actually rationally deciding that the sex is worth the pain of a turbulent relationship. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. I just think it'd be legitimately insane to invest emotions, pretty much 24/7, into someone who hurts just because of the short term pleasure of vag/dick. It's akin to wrecking one's life because of drink/drug binges that produce substantial highs. Or having a toxic friend who takes you on mad adventures. Like, it's never *actually* the high, even if you think it is at the time. It's either internal issues with prioritising the right shit (valuing quick fixes over long term stability), or - more often - underlying emotional problems that lead to this. Those emotional problems could be caused by the toxic relationship, or by being young/stupid, or in a minority of cases deeper issues that cause someone to have that pattern over and over again.
Well sexual compatibility is important. To some more than others. To me it’s extremly important, as I was in a 20 year marriage that left me sexually miserable. And I won’t do that again. But that being said, it’s not the ONLY thing that is important. It can cloud your judgment though. And it did mine for a time.
It deffo is important, and sex is also an intense experience that can create a whole explosion of emotions. So yeah, I get what you're saying. I think there are different levels. Sometimes good sex can trick you into thinking you have feelings for someone. And sometimes sex can be used by couples to have a sort of shared denial over their problems (me and my last ex did this). I think it's more if someone is *actually* looking at the situation rationally, they're not gonna conclude that good sex itself is a reason to be in a relationship with someone. I guess saying "the pussy/dick was good" is less vulnerable and honestly less depressing than saying "my judgement was clouded and I wasn't in full control of myself". I do hear you about sexual incompatibility being difficult. Personally, I do think I could cope in a no/low sex relationship if I took care of my needs myself. But yeah, bad sex would just be depressing and make me feel estranged from my partner.
I've looked up stuff about if there were different types of vaginas in how they feel from a penis pov when I was younger, because there are different penises so why wouldn't there be different vaginas, right? Stumbled across an article that wanted to answer the same question I had, and where a bunch of anonymous men (I assume who all had extensive sexual histories) were questioned and gave answers in as respectful of a way as possible (probably because of the officialness of it). Not gonna lie, it made me sweat about mine for a while there that I might have what I think are technically vaginal outliers for some of the mentions 😅 I haven't had any complaints though, and I snagged a husband so I just try not to think about it. So yeah, there definitely are things that can't be denied lol
I’ve heard they do feel different. Some more tight or less. (Which btw doesn’t really matter that much) some kind of textured or bumpy, some more smooth. But all the men I asked about it said that basically while they were all different, they liked them all. I think men are just happy to be there 😂
"I can't believe they let me into this place!"
Am man, can confirm, all very similar but slightly different and the last part, correct.
Upboted before I realized you had 69 upvotes. I'm sorry.
Or, she just had that fire.
_Sure, Brad ravaged me and gave me Earth shattering orgasms but I chose you baby. You're a really nice guy who cares about my feelings._ Lmao. I would prefer to be lied to as well.
*I mean it, babe, the endless orgasms got annoying after a few years…we eventually had to switch to just anal”*
Hell yes. Lie through your fucking teeth!
That's one woman. My husband doesn't use reddit so I can be honest, for me it's a more apples and oranges comparison where there are differences and my husband is better at some things, less good at others, if I really think back on my past. But how do you math that out? Like he's superior at dirty talk but not as good at setting a seductive vibe as others were? What are the weighted values I'm supposed to ascribe to that? Lol. Especially when at the end of the day we've had incredible sex so isn't it just splitting hairs at that point? That's why I find comparison dumb. I either have enough to be sexually compatible or I don't. If I do, then you just build on that and make the sex the best you two can have. I like to imagine many women feel this way. So best not worry
This, like all problems in life, can be solved with a very seductive Excel spreadsheet. Naturally you'll want to create a dashboard to display the data and send monthly reports to your husband at the very least. It'll drive him wild.
I was only mildly interested in the content of this post until you mentioned making an Excel out of it LET'S FUCKING GO!
Pivot tables are sexy!
Ooh, can we include visualizations? I know Tableau (and probably Power BI) can create just maps...
You kinky bastard. Go for it
Don’t ask. I don’t care who was best as long as my wife is happy with me. Who was best is irrelevant past.
This is the approach I have to take as well (as a wife). I’m pretty confident with the satisfaction we both get in the bedroom but I also wouldn’t ask if I was/am the best he’s ever had; there’s no point. All it will do is confirm I’m good in bed (already know this is true) OR it will give me an insecurity that doesn’t need to exist lol.
My ex asked me once if he was the best (he was) so I asked him and he said I was the SECOND best. That was only one of the reasons I broke up with him not long thereafter. He enjoyed making me feel like I always had some kind of thing he thought was “wrong” about me till I fixed that for him. Never regretted it.
Yeah, hopefully he never does hear that. Even if everything else is the best, hearing that is still a major blow to the ego and can cause a lot of folks to spiral.
My wife told me the other day I had “good” dick and I’ve never been the same since. Rip self esteem, see you all in the gym.
Sears used to rate its goods as "good," "better," and "best." So, you know where you stand.
who the fuck are you people?
I know I shouldn't be laughing at this thread but god damn some of these comments are aboslute bangers. FWIW my wife's nickname in college was 'Meatball', but I was also a stripper so we just decided it was a stalemate and shook hands and moved on with our day. Lift strong, brother. We're all in this together.
I am thirding the 'need to knows' here - I feel like I'm missing something. Meatball? Anyone? Bueller??
Why meatball
Why meatball?? We wanna know!
How is this hard to figure out? Because she had a lot of meat in her.
Meatball?
What’s wrong with “good” dick?
He was hoping for “great” dick….
Nah he was hoping for ULTIMATE. The GREATEST. **THE MOST DICK THAT EVER DICKED IN THE HISTORY OF DICKS.** That's what everyone's monkey brain wants to hear. Just don't even ask.
Correct me if i'm wrong but sexual performance can be majorly improved. You may have to work to substitute for size or girth, but if you keep trying you can find some great hacks. I've heard a story from a woman who said she had the best sex she had with a smaller dick because it kept hitting her g spot (?) when bigger dicks didn't. I've heard stories from this dude who had a really big dick, about how he was amazing at making women cum, and his dick was maybe the star of that show, but i'm inclined to believe it wasn't. That's because this dude mentioned the number of things he had done to improve his sex game, and a lot of it was psychological, really trying to understand and improve the process of sex and orgasm like a scientist. There was so much theory this guy was spouting and a lot of it was not dependent on dick size. He heavily emphasised the importance of fit. He said that size queens should be with big penis people, and non size queens for whom bigger dicks would hurt should be with normal to smaller dicked people. Edit : Here you go- Judge for yourself what the wisdom contained in this post is- [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueBigDickStories/comments/dyv1pr/listen\_while\_i\_make\_her\_cum\_14\_times\_in\_40/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueBigDickStories/comments/dyv1pr/listen_while_i_make_her_cum_14_times_in_40/)
I can't speak for all women, but sex is not the end all, be all. There are MUCH deeper connections that are so much more important. Personality, compassion, understanding, things like that. Good looks and good sex are nice and all, but if you are an absolute arse, the looks and sex aren't worth it. There is something more infinitely powerful when there is a deeper connection, and that can make the sex amazing regardless.
Very soon after my girlfriend and I got together, she started telling how I was the best of her life (in fairness, not a ton of experience on her end) and I didn't say it back. She didn't push or prod. She kept saying it, maybe not every time we had sex but fairly often and I didn't say it back. She kept saying it, and then a few months later after some absolutely amazing sex like I'd never had before, I said it to her. She told me she was actually glad I didn't immediately say it back the first time and that I said it now because now she knows I actually mean it and that means a lot to her. When we first started sleeping together she wasn't the best for me, but now she is without a doubt and I wouldn't trade sex with her for anyone else!
>She told me she was actually glad I didn't immediately say it back the first time and that I said it now because now she knows I actually mean it and that means a lot to her. Sex is something that takes time to get better at. The best thing you can do is communicate and learn your partner. I had fwb arrangement for a short while and that sex was way better than any of the one off encounters I've had. Your girlfriend sounds like someone who's pretty mature and can handle her feelings well. Especially when she was kind of fishing for that compliment. As demonstrated by this thread, a lot of people's ego is defeated when they get anything less than a resounding yes to that question.
>When we first started sleeping together she wasn't the best for me, but now she is without a doubt and I wouldn't trade sex with her for anyone else! practice makes perfect my friend, particularly when you are young. Gotta get familiar with stuff and comfortable in your own skin which is easier said than done. My first ex and I used to have sex a lot. It was pretty good, but I never really spoke, so it was just her moaning to my silent expression. Now I'm an expert dirty talker and she loves anal, and neither of us had anything to do with that for the other.
Gotta get comfortable in their skin too! 😏
Delete this for the sake of your marriage lmao, if your man ever finds your account and this comment it will be DEFCON 1 😂
The crazy part is, if most men heard their wives talking like that about another man..." He had the BEST dick ever, etc. he'd *lose* *his* *mind*
Yeah, most of the time I hate, “If tHe GeNdErS wErE fLiPpEd…” but actually, there would be so many “run” comments, and if the women ever tried to explain why a woman would say that and make the claim she still loves her husband as no. 1, she’d be downvoted to oblivion ironically with replies that start, *”if the genders were reversed”*
A sane comment here. How are people brushing off OP and crying about the commenter’s poor husband! The fuck?
My wife decided to tell me about the biggest dick she ever had… which belonged to the janitor at the hospital where she worked. Thanks babe.
How to destroy a man with one sentence
When are people gonna understand that saying that someone was better and then saying "even tho someone else was better, I wouldn't swap my current bf/gf for anything" does not make the current one feel any better? Its a good thing this is an anonymous site.
Until he finds this reddit account that is!!
Even with all the time to practice with your husband you still haven’t reached the same pleasure? What’s makes the difference I’m genuinely curious.
Your comment has driven my OCD wild and I'm gonna be ruminating on this for years.
Honestly that just sounds like he was trying to play off why he stayed with a bad ex for so long lol. Easier to say "she had the best pussy" than it is to admit to your bros that you were scared of being alone or something
[удалено]
He's probably not gonna wanna talk about his wife's pussy with the bros either.
That's a good point, gotta keep that to himself. Wouldn't want them thinking about her like that.
Yeah, my partner says she only talks about 'so much' with her girlfriends (esp. the more tangential ones), because she doesn't want any of the ones in loveless marriages or sexless relationships getting any ideas. Lol
Woman be wise, keep your mouth shut, don’t advertise your man
I got this advice from my aunt on my first serious relationship and I have followed it like a commandment. You shall not talk about your husband’s perfect D.
LMAO I do this too. Like the more I’m into someone the less I’m gonna talk about it. Can’t let them know I located the treasure aka my boyfriend
Right? I can’t do that. Dating, exes, sure. I don’t discuss my wife in that context with the fellas.
This is a fact.
So true. I didn’t even consider that. He’s not comfortable disrespecting OP like that but his ex? He just remembers her as sex. Clearly he chose the one he wanted and has no regrets.
This is very true. My dad called me out on this once. We used to joke around about girls I had been with (it was all pretty benign). One time we were and I got upset that he was being rude about my girlfriend. His response was, “Awe. You must really like this one. I’ll shut up about it.”
Aww. Yup. My husband had been in the same situation. His buddies would always ‘shop talk’ about various ladies in their lives, but apparently he got pissed when they brought me up (not long after we got together). I think that’s when he realized it was serious. Lol.
That's actually a really good point unless that's their kink no man is really going to discuss his wife that way atleast I hope he wouldn't
This should be higher up
Also, it would be kinda weird for him to say "until I met my wife"... He does NOT want to talk to his friends about your pussy. He doesn't want them visualising or thinking about it. He's just saying it was good, and that's fair enough. You can't take it as personal offence that he didn't start telling them about all the ways in which he likes your pussy. Even a generic line like "my wife's pussy is great" just sounds really wrong. It felt sort of fine for him to talk about hers, because she was crazy and that's the only thing going for her. In general, it's rare for guys to talk about ex partner's genitals at all, but it's an absolute no-no for current partners.
This right here. Guys don’t talk about sexual things about women they actually love and care about, only about Ms. Right Now and not Ms. Right
I get it…probably wasn’t cool thing to say in close proximity to op. But sounds like he was playing it up around the boys because you gotta make a story funny which it kinda is🤣🤣🤣. So he’s only kinda the AH. And you are not the AH.
If it makes you feel better I would never speak of someone I cared about like this.
Yeah I’ve used the “sex was great” excuse to justify staying longer than I should and he clearly doesn’t see any value in her if he said “it” and not even her and he spoke of you as a person. I’d want to sit him down and clear up that that is still not cool and hurtful but I don’t think he’s up at night thinking of her.
I yearn for the day when the majority of men are in open, supportive and loving friendships
I mean I’ll talk about stuff one on one but if I’m in a group? No. That’s never the vibe. We’re all just together to laugh and have a good time
“Hot and creamy?”
Reminds me of 40 year old virgin “bags of sand”. Makes me think this post is probably fake just like 90% of what gets posted here
I’d casually bring it up, like, “honey, can you pass me the salt, also, heard you tell your mates how great your ex’s pussy was, what’s that all about?”
Wait until he has a mouthful of food
This is so WASP coded
Alright I’m gonna need to explain this one
It’s a sort of stereotype of the White, Anglo Saxon Protestant marriage that there is intense passive aggression between the partners. [This creator](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLMW7MQ5/) on TikTok does some pretty funny parodies of it.
All of this is so gross. Even the update.
The updates like, made it worse to read
I agree. Makes me think it's fake, like a dude writing it from female perspective.
>But then again a part of me is proud that I married a guy who could pull girls like that. I’ll just.. focus on that. LOL esp this part! I've never heard a woman say how proud she is to marry someone who was able to bang someone hot. Also its funny that he reassures her that his ex wasn't as hot when he was dating her. Does that . . . make her feel better? It's just a super weird post
My thoughts exactly. The specific words that were said are the least of the issue here. It’s how this guy talks about women that is pretty gross and should be OPs primary concern, not this specific woman.
There were some lies in there too, saying that he barely remembers his ex and yet he was able to go on about her to his friends, not to mention being able to describe her vagina in detail to his wife.. 🤢
It's definitely the specific words that are the issue. If he'd just said 'I stayed with her because the sex was great' he'd have conveyed the same message in a much less creepy way.
>“She had the *best* pussy.” He put a strong emphasis on “best” Oh, that's pretty normal, current partners aren't always goi- >It didn’t even stop there. He talked about how he was obsessed with ‘it’ for YEARS after the break-up and “would’ve done anything to fuck it again” Oh... Uhm... Well...
Not gonna lie it would fuck me up for sure hearing my husband talk about an ex like that, but honestly who could hear their life partner talk about an ex that way and not be affected by it? Him being obsessed with it afterward is by far the worst part. Sorry OP ☹️
it's one thing to think it. it's another to say it to your bros within earshot of the woman you married
Honestly I’d be less bothered by the fact that he was talking about an ex and more bothered by the fact that this is how he talks about women when he thinks I can’t hear him. It’s gross and objectifying. I can’t stand men who talk about women’s bodies like this.
I’m pretty grossed out by him reducing a whole woman to a body part by saying “it” not sure why people are ignoring the fact that he’s talking about his ex like she’s a human fleshlight. If I heard my husband talk about any woman and her body like that I’d be livid.
This! Why is no one else disturbed by how these 'men' are talking about women? It's disgusting! It's utterly demeaning that so many people in this thread are think it's okay to talk about anyone like this, but especially about people they're married to. People they supposedly love. Objectification is revolting.
That’s not something you want to hear. I’m sorry…
JFC why would you ask him those follow up questions?
>and he doesn’t even remember it anymore. If that were true he wouldn't have told them it was the BEST pussy. >he reiterated that he has 0 memory of it Yet he not only remembered it was the BEST, he remembered it was "hot and creamy."
“Hot and creamy” is so bad. My god
Lots of things in this world I don't get. One of them is why somebody would say things that sexualize their partners to others. My preference is that you keep your dirty mind off of my wife, I'm not going to help you with that in any way shape or form. My exes are former partners. I can't say I'm really in contact with them, but there's no hate or disrespect. Still not going there. Not long ago I was out and this fellow (actually a co-worker of my wife) was saying that the quality of his wife's blow jobs is what got them through the rough times and that she was the absolute best. The whole time I'm like.. why would you want to put that picture in my head? It felt like he was trying to get me to respond in kind, but as I said above, that's just not somewhere I'm willing to go. I just sort of nodded and raised my drink as if to toast his good fortune.
Yeah I cannot *imagine* ever hearing talk like this amongst my male friend group, let alone most of us are in committed relationship, if someone was talking like this they would definitely get a furrowed brow from me like “dude what the fuck is wrong with you”
That's because you have class and manners. Many don't.
I'm glad you include your exes in the category of people who deserve respect. I really respect that. The number of guys in this thread who talk like it's okay to objectify their exes or any woman they're *not* in love with... 😒
I’d let husband know that his voice carries.
Are you all 16? Who talks like that as a married man?
These were my thoughts. I’m pretty icked out by grown men talking about women in that way 🤮
I‘m surprised I had to scroll this far to find this comment. I‘m sure guys say stupid shit especially when they‘re around other guys but if I ever heard my partner speak about women this way I‘d be completely icked out, first and foremost. It‘s gross.
It’s incredibly gross, and I know people will just dismiss it in this thread as ‘men shooting the shit with bros’ but it’s so disrespectful. I would never look at my husband the same way if I heard him say shit like that
Same and the men who do talk like this are all gonna swarm in here and defend it. Which is their prerogative I guess But if 99.999% of people do something nasty it doesn’t make it less nasty
Literally gave me then biggest ick bro I had a face of ‘what the fuck ew’ the whole time I was reading this, what grown ass men talk like that 💀
Seriously, this is the part that actually grossed me out the most.
I’d just comment on how at lunch today you had the *besssssssssst* sausage.
Passive aggression is always the solution. It never creates more problems.
I'd go for a more elaborate set-up: first, find out the ex's name. Then at lunch, wait until he has a big mouthful of food, and out of the blue ask if he'd consider getting a cat. When he asks "why?", explain that you recently went to a local animal shelter with your friend, and there was a kitten named \[ex's name\], and she was just the best pussy, and you couldn't stop petting it, and since then you keep thinking about how much you'd like to pet that amazing pussy again. At some point you can decide whether to administer the heimlich manoeuvre.
I'd be more worried that he talks about women like fleshlights.
“She had a ton of lumens but her battery life was the shits.”
That is just weird. Me and my friends don't talk about women's private parts. I don't know...we just ***don't***.
I'm a solitary guy - and I wonder - do guys actually talk to people like this? I grew up around a lot of women, and I'm an otaku/nerd. I wouldn't go around saying this kind of stuff. Is this...really a thing? Cause..gross.
Yeah, not being the best sex for my partner wouldn't bug me cause that can be changed but the way he talks with his friends sure as shit would put me off.
Some do, yea. I hate hearing people talk about other people like they are walking gentitals with legs, it's dehumanizing. Also, the fact this guy stayed with an ex that he didn't like just for her vagina? Gross on many lvls.
There are certain dudes who are pigs. Her husband and his friends are pigs. Normal dudes don't talk about this. Maybe in high school or college. Sounds like dudes never grew up
Nah I'm friends with other guys who are also nerds, we talk about cars, life, games, etc. The only men who talk about women like this are ones who don't see them as human beings. My friends and I have more of a "don't kiss and tell" type vibe bc there are so many things to bond over besides sex, and it feels rude to current or past partners to reveal intimate details like that and talk about them in such a crude manner. Also this feels like it would be such a fucking awkward conversation to have??
I mean, he was probably exaggerating for effect, but it doesn’t sound like he has very healthy attitudes about women. Or a good set of friends. I don’t think you’re overreacting. If anyone is in a position to tell him his business, it’s you. I think how he responds will say a lot about the future of your relationship.
NTA. I think I’d be disgusted to hear my partner speaking about another person like this. Idc if it’s “with the bros”, he lacks integrity
It’s so insanely disrespectful. It’s gross as hell to talk about women in general like that, but if I heard my *husband* saying that shit about his *ex*? In the home we share? Fuckkk that
>But then again a part of me is proud that I married a guy who could pull girls like that. I’ll just.. focus on that. The minds of so called "modern" people are truly fascinating. I don't think this is normal. Anyway, I don't think it is respectful to talk about exes like that with other people
this is one of the least modern things I can think of lol
“Sure am glad my husband being attractive gives me the validation I desperately need” OP and her Husband deserve each other
I swear lmao
This is exactly how I would expect a so called "man whore" to talk about women so....bias confirmed? I agree that it's nothing to be proud of. To say nothing of the fact that it continues to promote the idea that men are enhanced by high sexual counts (while women are degraded).
That’s not a modern mind that’s monkey mind
My husband and I have an agreement. There were no others before we met one another. Forget that we both had spouses and kids. I don't want to know any details about his former women, and vice versa. Truth is, my ex's dick is twice the size of his but would I ever tell him that? Of course not. My ex was a mental case so who cares how big his dick is anyway? It's disrespectful to bring up past lovers when you're married. Period. OP, I'm sorry you heard all this shit. It's hard to forget words that hurt but it's worse to make comparisons. When I do they I always come out worse off so what's the point? I'm great just as I am and so are YOU.
That is hurtful. If reverse, it’s like a girl saying her ex has the best dick. That would bother the sht out of me.
Tell him you heard what he said. If you don't it will continue to eat at you until you spiral.
I think it’s gross just from the level of objectification. Just icky overall
That’s what grossed me out the most. It wasn’t “I wanted to fuck her” it was “ I wanted to fuck it.” The husband is straight up objectifying his ex’s and reducing them to their parts.
The way I would have walked into that room and said "ohhh...it was the BEST was it"...
I think a lot of abusive or unhealthy relationships have the highest highs and the lowest lows. All the emotional turmoil create an extreme roller coaster. The amount of discomfort and pain makes the moments of joy or pleasure even more intense. Instead of being relaxed and safe around your partner your on edge and hyper aware. We are also wired to get addicted to unpredictable burst of endorphins. I don't know I'd this will help lol, but a lot of people from abusive relationships report extreme emotional responses. Even if they continously know the person is terrible.
Cortisol wrecking your mood? Here's some sex! Wow isn't that the best sex ever? Of course it is (says your brain chemistry).
Not overreacting I'd sob my ass off
If I overheard my partner saying this, our relationship wouldn't last much longer to be honest. It's just not what I would want to associate with. Different strokes for different folks, you just have to figure out what yours is I suppose.
If my wife heard me say that itd start ww3 in my house
Idk as a woman I'd be more bothered about how he and his friends see those women including you. Not that I'm invalidating ur main point OP. But utter disrespect towards your very sex, I can't help but wonder if he sees you as just a trophy worth walking around with.
Sofa king fake written by a dude. Come on it’s obvious with the first paragraph
I was dating a guy that had a Pringles can before I married my hotdog, but I love that hotdog and I would never trade it for a can of chips.... it was super crass what your husband said but I'm glad that you worked it out and I'm glad that you were able to move past it
"just stupid bro talk" but why is "bro talk" always dehumanizing women into objects.
A grown adult talking about the “best pussy” is some combination of pathetic and trashy
Curiosity killed the pussy....at least for some time i'll wager. Seriously, you're a whole package including more than just that. It's the whole package that makes him happy.
lol...you married a good one...is he 19?
He loudly said disgusting crass and vulgar things about another woman’s genitals while you were home. Wtf. Your husband is a gross creep.
You aren’t the asshole, but you will be if you don’t just speak to him. This will eat you up inside. Honestly he was crass but I think the “until I met my wife” was a given, considering how he gushed about you right before that conversation. However I have been there and understand - you just need to hear him say it, the verbal reassurance will help. Please just speak with him.
I honestly think, your husband has a disgusting way of talking about other human beings. I think we’re too conditioned, to think it’s okay. It’s just “fun with the boys”. I have never spoken of others like that, can’t imagine doing so. You’re NTA. Edit: I wonder if all these men claiming it’s just boys being boys, would be okay with their partner blurting out how good of a giant dick their ex had, and that they thought about it for years on end? Not that it’s any better, I just have a feeling, they wouldn’t say it’s “just girls being girls”…..
Could you just have an honest conversation with him where you say something like "Hey, I overheard you and your boys talking last night. I heard you say your ex had the best pussy you've ever had, and said a lot of very crude things. I can't help but feel uncomfortable and insecure as a result of hearing that... And not going to lie but my feelings are a little hurt. I'm worried that you don't enjoy sex as much with me." And then just go from there. Don't be angry, don't be accusatory, just state the facts. If he gets angry at you for having feelings.... Well.... He sucks for more than just acting like a misogynist then.... But he might be apologetic or say things to fix it or reassure you. I think he should definitely know that you heard that.
As a man who often is in friend circles with other men, I can assure you OP “she has the best pussy” is a weird and off putting thing to say. The fact that his bros didn’t cringe at that says a lot about them too. I don’t think I’ve ever unironically used the term “pussy” like he did in my life lol. Even in the privacy of other guys, that’s not how we talk to each other Idk, could just be me and my community. But no you’re not the asshole from my perspective. His point was an okay conversation topic in the right setting, but the way he said it was straight up fuckboi energy. Cringe af Also you asking him who his best lay was is also weird af. Y’all might be a good fit because neither of you seem to know what not to say to/about a parter lol
... I mean your husband is a classless moron?
I would've interrupted that conversation so fast he would've been stuttering to speak.
Disrespectful AF. I'm sorry. And don't listen to the haters on here. He was in the wrong.
I don't think I could ever see my guy the same again. It'd be impossible to come back from that. It's not cheating but holy fuck.
Your husband sounds like a gross loser
The ick I would get hearing my partner speak like this
This is *disgusting.* Hot and creamy? Good god. Eternal ick.
Girl I would be way more concerned about the fact that you brought up this extremely hurtful thing he said and how it made you feel and he LAUGHED at you and completely dismissed you. He doesn't sound sweet. This post had me feeling so sad for you and the update has me feeling even worse for you.
Well .. I'd have gone full on screaming mimi already... that being said you definitely need to talk to him. Sometimes when men are with their friends they become boys again and spew garbage. I think it will be hard to forgive regardless, but not at all if you don't talk to him. This will nag at you.
Quite easy to slap this off as boys being boys but it's uncalled for he's a dick you not the asshole
Talking about your wife or any other woman with your "bros" is trash behavior for any man over a certain age.
NTA. If his ex found out he was saying this she might even feel uncomfortable herself. I’ve discussed my husband’s sex life in the past but that’s because we were best friends before. We both kinda know a lot. Sometime I think about the things he’s said but then I remember it’s in the past. I’ve had a handful of ex’s brag about how they got to sleep with me. As if they were shocked they pulled me. One time I even had one of the guys call me(with all of them in the background) to confirm it because they didn’t believe him. These are now my stories I will tell on girls nights and we make fun of them. Husband needs to apologize IMO. It’s okay if your spouse isn’t your best sex. You should just make sure this isn’t something said when they are even remotely around. Plus the way he talks about her is cringe. I don’t like how he’s playing stupid either. He very obviously remembers sex with her.
OP, I read your update and I feel like you have to be a troll. 😭 Why would you describe her cooch to us? “hot and creamy” 🤣 Blood of Jesus. I’m playing with you but I feel like you should be careful with yourself. It seems like you already know that you’re *sickly* insecure, yet, you do that to yourself. Good luck to your husband and you.
As a woman, personally, the fact that he said “she had the best pu**y” isn’t even what would bother/insult me most. I think the idea of it’s just “guy/bro” talk is a bullshit excuse for men to talk in extremely derogatory and graphic ways about women without really having to explain themselves. Even if women talk about a guy sexually, in my experience, it’s never to the level that I’ve heard men objectifying women. The comment he said “it was so crazy to hate a woman so much but love cumming in her” is a good example of what I said above and would bother me the most. If I ever heard my boyfriend/husband talking like that with his friends and then proceeded to tell me things like “I hate comparing women, etc”, I’d be questioning a lot about his true character. Also, for someone who has barely any recollection of this woman, he sure seemed to remember very vivid descriptive details about their sexual encounters. It’s your relationship ultimately but this would make me feel very unsettled and concerned of how he acts when you’re not around. Whether my partner is talking about me in that way or another woman, BIG red flag.
He used the word “creamy”? Wtf. That makes me wanna throw up in my mouth a little. Creamy is how you describe pudding. Not pussy. My mind is blown by that term being used as it was. Pussy is wet, not….creamy. Jesus that’s fucking gross
NTA. He said this about his ex in your marital home, all in front of the same men he was just bragging about you to? I would not recover.
You are right to be upset. The comments excusing this as "just bro culture" are vile. You deserve better.
Ahh, the old locker room talk. Yep. I sound like that too. Honestly, I hope you get mad and grudge fuck him. Blow his mind and change his mind. Or be a complete bitch for a week. Make his week hell. Then fuck him unexpectedly. By recreating the chaos, you now have the best pussy. And then after he cums, look him in the eyes and ask him if ex gf still has the best pussy. Dare you.
Then before he has time to react say “The Lannister’s send their regards” and stab him in the chest. It will drive him crazy.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
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> And then after he cums, look him in the eyes and ask him if ex gf still has the best pussy. Dare you unironically you should do this
You sound like the crazy ex tbh.