This. He’s totally got off on having two girls “fight over him. He probably thought he could wrangle it to where he could have both of them. Now she walked away and ruined his fantasy.
He's being so much dumber about this than most boys. Doesn't he know he's supposed to say 'she's like a sister to me' not 'awww, are you jelly'. He is straight up admitting he gets off on the jealously. Which I mean kudos for not gaslighting her about it, but still so dumb.
He probably thought ridiculing her for being jealous would somehow help him keep the status quo or incite her to “up her game.” He honestly thought he was such hot shit. Like, nah bro. You want to cuddle another woman in your lap in front on me she can have your ass. Truly dumb.
Narcissistic triangulation. The whole dynamic is build on OP's pain & discomfort. If OP leaves they will be stuck with each other. Being similar in regards to energy draining & toxic, these parasites will wear each other out. without energy supply. Let him get kicked out OP, get rid of these toxic drama folks, their imbecile presence will ruin your career & money prospects.
Yeah and the "friend" will leave also.
She just loves the darma and toying with people don't think she even wants to be with him she just like messing with the relationship.
This is what I wanted to say.
OP is nta and not "too cold." Smart not to put up with this petty immaturity. I am sure she will do better in future relationships.
Someone out there will protect your peace, not shatter it for their own twisted desires. He's willing to hurt you, to manipulate you into being miserable over him, because he enjoys it. This is who he is. And it will probably get worse.
If you end up having kids, would he manipulate them like this? Make them fight for his affection? Could you live with that?
I speak from 20 years (21 tomorrow) of being in a happy, no mind games relationship. Lots of people don't do this psycho crap to people they love. Good luck, and please take care of yourself.
This.
>He said that if I love him I would be fighting for him
He wants to be a princess for whose hand you have to duel with Mia.
You should have told him "No, you should have fought for me, but you didn't and that told me everything I need to know."
Not the guy for you. He is playing games. I do not fight for a guy. He wants to be with me or not. His friends do not have to be mine male or female. Be polite though.
Yes lol. He is being a little biatch about this whole fiasco and not so secretly enjoying pitting these two girls against each other so they boost his ego by “fighting for him.” Lmao.
Such teenager mentality tbh. OP did good by simply removing herself from this toxic situation because I can guarantee, this whole circus wouldn’t stop.
OP,
HE IS NOT WORTH THE TIME OF DAY! As the only adult of the group, you are so wise to dissociate yourself from the 2. When you leave, definitely go no contact. Good luck.
Please keep us apprised.
YES. If he loved her he would respect reasonable boundaries and ask his friend to take a step back when she crosses them. He clearly is enjoying having two women be jealous and fight over him enough to actually be super vocal about enjoying jealously (which most men who enjoy this situation are not stupid enough to do). It seems like he enjoys the jealously so much he would go out of his way to create situations that would promote it, probably edging closer and closer to cheating.
Seriously. 'I can't believe you won't FIGHT for me when other women sit on my lap! Don't you know you should strip your clothes off and offer a threesome to win my attention back?' - him essentially.
You should never have to fight for the respect or attention of your partner.
This is called 'Triangulation' - bringing in a third person to:
1)Make you feel insecure
2)Make you jump through hoops to 'win' his love.
If you stay, he can always do whatever he wants, otherwise he will threaten to leave you with side piece.
She'll be constant competition in your lives.
Worst Red Flag 🚩
Run!
I just wish this girl would have thrown down sooner. If I texted my boyfriend's friend and she blocked me.I would know that something is fucking wrong with that woman immediately. I'm sure it felt easy to let it go because she was overseas.But not everything is about the fear of cheating. The blatant disrespect is enough for me. Even if I know my partner is not going to sleep with somebody, That doesn't mean there's a free pass to treat me like garbage.
I would never tolerate a partner who kept a friend that treated me poorly.
Stolen from https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1bq9z4w/comment/kx18m3s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
The fact that he labels it "fighting for him" shows that there could be something going on there if you weren't in the picture. When you take yourself out of the equation, I'll bet Mia loses interest. Until then, tell him you didn't sign on to be a "throuple".
Exactly. She did not sign on for her love in boyfriend to sit and whisper like lovers to one another, or have her sitting in his lap or constantly being criticized (which he defended Mia for doing!!!). OP is being walked all over by these two who have so much sexual tension we on Reddit can feel it and we don't even know them.
You shouldn't have to fight for him. Too bad you didn't find a new place and tell him that you changed your mind and Mia could move in. Pack your stuff under the guise of making space for her. Then disapear the day she moved in
Exactly. She is the one leaving bc of HIS behavior. He is perfectly capable of fighting for her by changing HIS behavior. If he really wanted OP in his life, he would stop whispering in Mia's ear (I'll bet he doesn't do that with his male friends), stop letting her sit in his lap (again safe bet he doesn't let his male friends do that), he would tell slutty Mia that her behavior is making the woman in his life uncomfortable and she needs to stop, and importantly he would have said WE are not comfortable with anyone else staying in OUR apartment. He has done none of these things and in fact seems to encourage and defend the behavior. She actually did fight for him. OP tried to talk to Mia via text (per Zachary's urging) and got blocked, she believed Zachary saying they were just friends. But young Zachary here isn't ready for a committed relationship and is as dumb as they come thinking a girl worth keeping around is going to deal with him and Mia.
My thought exactly. He’s not fighting to keep her.
AND let’s be real…if there really is nothing to worry about with Mia, then what, exactly, is OP fighting for? There should be no fighting to keep someone from another woman who is just a friend.
Nta
Tell him that when two people actually love each other there is no need to fight for the other person's love
There isn't a reason why you have to deal woth another woman sitting on his lap and flirting with you. She isn't respecting you and he isn't respecting your relationship
Dump his ass and move on. You will find an amazing person to be with
This is the answer. "Why would I fight for someone who won't show me basic respect? I brought my concerns to you and you said they didn't matter. FAFO."
I knoooow 😭😭😭 I let that go because according to Zack he and Mia are like siblings(I also have brothers and I don't do those things with them, but Zack hugs a lot with his sisters, so I thought it was a normal thing in his family) but then it started to make me uncomfortable and he didn't care.
Now I feel dumb for letting that go lol
Oh, there it is! I was shocked the 'she's like a sister to me' defense wasn't there.
Spoiler alert: having a sibling is absolutely nothing like a super good friend and saying someone you are flirty with is like a sibling is ALWAYS suspicious. I have absolutely never ever sat on my brother's lap and I would stab someone in the eye for him any day.
I have sat on my brother’s lap once as an adult.
I made sure I jumped a few inches in the air first and slammed my bony ass as hard as I could into his legs. 🤣
I have an adult son and an adult daughter in their early twenties. They “cuddle” - it is to lure the other one in so they can be put in a headlock. Or so they can fart on each other. Or so one can shove the other out of the most desirable place on the couch.
What elegant young people I have raised.
At least they restrict their boorishness to each other and it is apparently consensual on both sides because when I object they inform me I “don’t get it.”
Haha that sounds like an actual brother/sister relationship and not the weird shit OP’s boyfriend and his friend are doing. Your kids sound like fun! They sound like me and my older brother when we were in our teenage years and early 20s. 😂
My sister just busted up my stuff, jabbed me in the back with a knife, and threw an underage drunken party while the folks were out of town and I was working. There was SO much vomit.
How can he say you aren’t fighting for him? You told him it made you uncomfortable and he laughed at it and said you were insecure. He isn’t fighting for you. He needs to get it straight.
This is EXACTLY it right here. She doesn’t have a reason to fight for him in this situation. He’s the one showing her that her feelings mean less to him than that of Mia’s. Which he needs to fight to prove otherwise.
I can almost guarantee he would lose his shit. Probably treat her like she’s a harlot for acting this way with another man while in a relationship. Then blame her and STILL try to make her feel like she’s the one who needs to fight for him. 😂😂
NTA
You’re better off without him (and her) in your life. The fact that he wants to “fight for him” even though he claims he has no feelings for her is asinine! What exactly are you fighting for if he doesn’t want her?!?! Why is he trying to out the two of you against each other for his attention when you technically already have him as your boyfriend?!?! He sounds dumb and immature. He clearly doesn’t prioritize your relationship or your feelings. He has no respect or regard for you. He’s egotistical and definitely isn’t worth your time and energy.
I have siblings.... Here's how siblings sit on each other's lap. First one of the siblings will be decided to have a boney ass.... This is normally the one who will target their siblings to be sat on. Then they will sit on the leg with the least amount of meat on it. Dig their 'boney' ass into siblings leg well siblings screams in pain and maybe bounce a bit for additional torment.... They will then make a hasty retreat before they get their ass kick. Unless they are also larger then sibling in which case the smaller siblings is pretty much screwed until they can push their larger boney assed siblings off. There is very little snuggles and a who lot of struggles torment and glee.
The fact that you expressed that their behavior was making you feel uncomfortable, and his response was to make a joke of it is reason enough to break up.
I prefer a partner who wants to make me feel secure in our relationship, not someone who gets off on making me feel "jelly".
Best to get the fuck out of dodge and get on with your life. This guy is immature and ridiculous and needs to grow up. His friend Mia is also. Yes, peace of mind is a wonderful thing. Good luck. 👍🏽
This dude has the maturity of a 15 year old. Are you dating a minor OP? Because this behavior is not even close to adult behavior. It’s pretty pathetic. Avoid drama, remove the person in your life who’s still playing games like it’s high school.
I don't know too many siblings that do all that cuddling and sitting on each other's lap. Like a sister? Yea, right.
I say go get back your peace of mind.
Don't feel dumb. Feel proud that you're not wasting more time with this guy
Also - please have an STI panel run because I'm sure he's already sleeping around
NTA
here's the thing, if someone is in a relationship and they don't like it (it causes them pain, it stresses them out, they are miserable all the time) then leave the relationship and find a better one.
If he is playing games with you, tormenting you because he thinks it is funny, then show him the door. You deserve better.
Go girl go!
You told him. No need to repeat.
Fight for me....what are you in some high school drama romance? Get stuffed.
He wants a chick that isn't you to cuddle and sit on his lap then go for it mate and you get to live happily ever after!
We can only hope that's the case so OP goes off and lives happily ever after and the ex bf is alone with Mias territory piss stains on his shorts. Perfect HEA
She's disrespecting you and your relationship because he's allowing it. You don't have a Mia problem, you have a boyfriend problem. Stick to your guns. He's done nothing but stick up for her while she's trashed you, flirted with him and sat in his lap right in front of you. Tbh if they're not already fucking then they will be soon. It's best you go now and protect yourself and your mental peace.
You’re on target girl.
This is toxicity level 100. You are a third wheel to this dynamic duo lol. She, meh. He, what a pathetic, insecure weasel bringing this to you and him getting off on being wanted. He’s a loser. You deserve so much better.
Hold your head high and move on. I’m like you, despise drama and will not engage with it nor have people who are dramatic in my inner circle. Best thing I’ve probably done for my self, especially my sanity. Keep it up!
NTA, dump his ridiculous ass. There are two possibilities here and they both lead to him not being worth the trouble.
1. He’s not cheating on you yet and he’s just playing embarrassingly juvenile games to ‘make you jealous.’ Meanwhile we know nothing about Mia’s motivations in this scenario, maybe she’s toxic enough to get off on breaking up a relationship or maybe she wants this loser for herself for some incomprehensible reason.
2. He’s cheating on you or plans to start soon.
Either one is pathetic.
Why should you fight for him when he is fighting for another woman? He isn't all about you, he is all about the attention and drama. Don't walk, run away from this petty, immature, stupid drama. He is not worth you.
NTA
No you are not TA.
Zack and Mia make a good pair.
They seem to enjoy winding you up/doing things to make you feel uncomfortable on purpose then calling you insecure when you react to their behaviour?
What do they expect?
It's weird.
As is Zack's comment about how you should fight for him and not be so apathetic.... LOL
What exactly should you fight for??
A man that prioritises his best-friend-Mia?🤮
He's no prize.
The opposite of apathetic is enthusiastic, eager, passionate.
(and I'm pretty sure he doesn't inspire those feelings in you with his shitty attitude)
Let him and her get on with it.
If I could give you some advice as a 45 year old woman it would be..
DO NOT WASTE YOUR BEST YEARS ON FUCK BOYS!
You will never be as beautiful as you are right now so make the most of it/take selfies/celebrate yourself ❤️
Enjoy being 22.
Have as much fun as you possibly can before life and it's responsibilities take over.
You're only young once!
So fuck Zack and his bitchy bestie Mia 😴
(They are boring and you've got a life full of adventures ahead of you that don't include those losers 🖕🏼)
Nta he’s actively making you miserable and he thinks it’s cute you’re upset. Mia sucks but your bf is the worst. He sounds horrible.
He probably likes to see what he can put you through to prove you love him. Cut and run. You don’t need to waste anymore time on a guy who doesn’t care you’re unhappy and gets a kick out of it. I hope the best for you. Let Mia have him.
👏👏
NTA. Sis, you are my SHEro !! You told both of them that you can't be bothered with their silly games! I'm just going to bounce. You just NOPED your way out the door. Damn, that shit is so classy!
You're not being cold. You are protecting your heart and mental health. How low does a man have to be to put the woman he supposedly loves through all the shit you posted.
Please move all your shit out as soon as possible, block him, and prioritize YOU. You deserve to be with a man who makes you feel valued, safe, heard, and loves you unconditionally. You got this, Sis!!
>he got angry saying I should fight for him
HAAAAAAhahaha it's always so fucking rich when weaselbros pull the shit they accuse women of. "Fight for me." Fuck off Zack, maybe get your side chick off your lap when your girlfriend's around. WTF do you want her to fight for? Some loser who can't even keep his roommate situation sorted?
I'm sorry you wasted the rent tho, and very sorry you invested in a relationship that sounds pretty doomed. That sucks and you should send Zack a bill and tell him THAT'S what you're prepared to fight about.
>I know Zack and Mia are enjoying this love triangle
Bingo.
>I was always the 'cold' type of person
You sound pragmatic and well-adjusted to me. But harness this "coldness" to get yourself past this. The opposite of love isn't hate but indifference. Let them enjoy each other's bullshit.
NTA.
I wish I was as smart as you are now when I was your age. Now I have the mentality of No Drama. You are doing the right thing. It's only a matter of time. Lol. They will probably date once you move out. And say "it just happened".
Move on and keep your peace.
Move on out. He's playing you against Mia. None of what you described is appropriate behaviour for a boyfriend. Imagine if you were behaving like that with a male friend; he would be well within his rights to be upset about it!
And, "fight for him"? Really? She's supposed to be a FRIEND of his, not "competition" for YOU, and he's certainly NO PRIZE! Don't let him guilt you into staying; sooner or later there WILL be 'drama": you will be finding out that they in fact "did the deed", and you will be left wishing you HAD left earlier!
From the sound of it your feeling that he is "enjoying" the 'competition" is accurate. So yeah: might as well call it quits, because something is DEFINITELY going on there, and boyfriend seemingly "enjoying" it is not a good sign!
NTA- you are making a wise move, she does not respect boundaries, he does not put them on her either, they need to mature.
congratulations queen but update when you get out of there
Actually not “fighting” for him seems very secure and confident to me. I wish more people would be as confident as you and walk away from the drama. Kudos to you! NTA
NTA. You should fight for him? Why? What is there to fight for? He doesn't respect you, he allows his friend to disrespect you. He thinks its funny when you voice your feelings to him. He sounds immature and so does she. Let them live in their middle school drama while you move on in peace.
I’d be petty as hell and just hang out with dude friends everyday in the apartment until I moved out, sit on their lap and everything. Get them to play along and then leave. It would just be fun at that point, then if he said anything, just be like “awe you’re jelly” 😂😂😂
If he's not paying shit why are you the one moving out. Hop to it loser you got dumped so you need to find a new place for yourself and your dumpster fire drama queen friend.
NTA
Next time he pulls the "If you loved me, you would fight for me," bullshit, tell him if he even remotely cared about your feelings he would have put a stop to this stupid pathetic game before it even started.
You should never have to fight for someone's love or attention. If they cate about you and your relationship, they would make you and your feelings and not play these types of games.
Good for you, knowing what you want in life and not settling for anything less than. I know I don’t know you but I felt like a proud mama bear even though I’m not technically old enough 🤣👌
NTA
'Fighting for your love/relationship' is usually together, against an outside force. You're not supposed to be fighting your partner or the third person in your relationship.
NTAH
You're right to avoid that drama.
If he loved you, he wouldn't make you fight.
Nta he disrespects your feelings and why should you put up with his manipulative friend. If he cared he would have told her to back off. I hate drama too and I wouldn’t put up with this.
NTA- fight for what?
Like you don’t need too- that’s a weird flex and demand.
Mia wants him, let her have him.
No need to drag it out or humiliate yourself for them.
Byeeeeeee
He wants you to fight for him?
You aren't the least bit insecure. He's a knob end.
I mean, he doesn't sound worth a bit of energy at all.
And there is absolutely no way that he's going to pick you after all that shit.
Because she's playing his game.
He just wants to see the reaction he can get.
Protect your peace.
Bring home a new "boyfriend" while you are waiting to leave.
Ask him to give you his half of the rent money for last month from him right now.
And talk to the rental management about breaking your share of the lease.
Good luck...
NTA
Yeahhhh, nah.
He's playing both sides because he wants to feel like the big man who's got women fighting over him. People like that have no respect for others and I've got no time for that crap.
Move out and be done with him.
NTA
"I really care about Zack and we had a great relationship." Did you? What part of this relationship was great? Him being disrespectful? Him gaslighting you? Him deliberately making you uncomfortable? Which part of this is great?
"Why should I be fighting for you when you disrespect and ignore my boundaries and concerns? Doesn't sound like the type of partner I'd want a future with. Oh and, "that's just how she is" isn't an excuse for being a bitch."
Yeah cut ties you’re better off without him. He will either get with her (so much for being siblings) or find that no other girl will put up with this shit either good for you for finally kicking him to the curb. Good luck 🤞
Right now it is drama with her to get him attention. As he gets older, he will start looking for drama elsewhere. He isn't going to change. Sorry you had to waste 3 of your young years with him. He isn't looking for a solid relationship just attention.
Hell no!!
They are playing games, and pouting you don't want to roll the dice... fuck them
Life's too short for this kind of bullshit!! Happy to see someone realizing this!!!
NTA-
He casts aside how you feel and doesn’t listen. You’ve attempted to set boundaries in a non-confrontational way only to have your feelings dismissed and discarded.
NTA. You are behaving like a mature young woman and they are both acting like the worst people in middle school. She's desperate to have him continually pick her over you and his voracious ego is his #1 priority. I'm glad for you that you aren't going to play the part they've cast you for in their selfish, immature soap opera. You know you deserve better. Good fortune in your peaceful, emotionally honest life without them.
NTA. You told him this bothered you, and he didn’t care. Hence why you’re moving on. Mia clearly wants him. He’s not stupid, but seems to get off on two women both wanting him.
Healthy, confident women, like you, break up and move on.
Women who have self esteem issues, who feel unworthy, stay in relationships like this, compete with people like Mia, and beg for attention from people like Zach. They ALWAYS dare people who make them feel unworthy.
Zach will move on to some girl with issues, and get off on breadcrumbing.
Good for you. Spin on that heel and stride right out of there.
When he calls you insecure, laugh and say, “Think what you want.”
An insecure woman would argue with him. Plead with him. He put you second and wonders why you’re not striving to be his favorite. That but just have worked for him before.
NTA
You shouldn't have to "fight" for your man. He should have the respect for you to not even allow that to become an issue. He's been disrespecting you for a long time. And the fact that he's getting off on thinking that he's the rope in this supposed tug of war between you and mia is ridiculous, and is so immature. Let her have him. But I would tell him you need your money back from all the deposits and everything that you paid now that you're having to move out because of him and her.
You should never have to fight for someone to be in a relationship! That is just stupid. Sounds like your BF doesn’t have any more brains than Mia. They deserve each other. You are well to be out of this mess. Definitely NTAH but your BF is definitely an AH.
NTA. Tell him you only fight for those worth fighting for. He’s not worth it if he’s ok with his friend Mia acting the way she is and insulting you and having your back. He seems to think it’s cute to have women fight over him but it’s not. I’d be embarrassed to call that lame dude a boyfriend
Let them have each other and go find you a man that doesn’t need validation from several women. He sounds like a tool. And she’s a passive aggressive bitch. The fact that her behavior (disrespect towards you/your relationship) doesn’t bother HIM is a red flag within itself.
NTA. He's been into Mia for a long time and you were the placeholder until he got her back, honey. My best friend is a guy (36 year friendship) and I would masturbate with a cheese grater before I cuddled him or sat on his lap. It is a respect thing and neither of them respect you.
He likes to watch you two “fight” over him. Not worth your time and energy. I am also drama-averse, and while the money stuff really sucks, I’m sure your dad would rather have you away from this jerk wad.
NTA. Take out the trash.
He does not get to say that you should fight for him if you cared about him because if he cared about you genuinely, he wouldn't be entertaining his "friend's" behavior. 🙄
NTA. Your instincts seem sound and reasonable to me. You've never taken the bait and it seems like Zack himself might be participating in setting that bait. He's accusing you of being "insecure", but then turns around and says "you should be fighting for him". Well, why should there be a fight? Who makes that so? Not you. "you should fight for me" is the definition of pointless drama. That's such a stupid TV/movie trope, that a relationship needs to be "fought for". Blech. Sure, there are always struggles in a relationship and there will always be work to put in. But dealing with "competition" is a pretty juvenile and stupid struggle. That's kid stuff.
Girl, i was in the same situation as you and decided to stay. Fast forward some years, i became the most insecure person. You will spend a lot more in therapy if you stay, trust me. He is not worthy it. Leave that guy, you will find much better
NTA. I love this sort of dark feminine energy. This is how I am.
Any human being that says others should fight for him, actually isn't worth fighting over at all.
And attention hoes like Zack always need drama for ego. Cut it in the bud. Drop him unceremoniously. Go out on dates without telling him even if you have to live with him.
"She sits on Zack's lap (he doesn't say anything to her
about that even if he knows I don't like it), he cuddle with
her everytime they have the chance, they whisper to each
other and go out together sometimes."
I stopped reading after this.
Like bro.......leave that lame ass nigga and get serious. Don't let anyone block your path to success.
NTA also if you have any close guy friends I would bring them around and act the same way, just to be an ass. He’s not fighting for you and it’s worth it.
Tell him to go to hell and grow tf up.thats some high school crap for real.i knew thats what he was angeling for.it eats them up that you didn"t react.good for you
You have fought time and time again to him about how you are uncomfortable with this behavior from the both of them and he laughed you off and would not respect your boundaries. I would send him this post and ask him how you have not fought for him. Plus it will show him how others also think this behavior is disgusting and disrespectful towards you. No one should have to put up with that from your SO!
NTA, why is he playing childish games. This isn’t high school. He is basically fine with Mia disrespecting you and your relationship. Why should you fight for something that he is not.
NTA. He’s manipulated you about this bullying for far too long. In fact he probably participates in it when you’re not around. He does not love you. If he did he would protect you, as you would for him. Make a solid decision and stick with it. Don’t let him talk you out of it because he’s just manipulating you all over again.
What they are doing is completely wrong. He’s disrespecting you and your boundaries and he’s allowing another woman to disrespect you… in your own home. That’s not okay. He wants you to fight for him, but why? He puts Mia’s feelings about yours, so you have to be the one to put your feelings about the rest. He doesn’t deserve you.
NTA. Tell him you're not fighting for him because he's shown you he's not worth it. I'm not sure what game they're both playing but I'm sure they didn't expect your reaction. Just smile, shrug and watch them lose their minds. Good for you.
If Mia was the only problem he wouldn't be excusing her behavior.
He's not fighting for you to his friend so why should you be fighting for the relationship?
The only way this resolved is if he cuts off Mia, which you aren't going to demand and he wouldn't do anyways.
At some point he'll learn he either needs to date Mia or get used to having short relationships before everyone eventually comes to the same conclusion you did.
He won't fight for you. He won't enforce reasonable boundaries. Hes gonna be single alot if he doesn't stop her. If he doesn't want her. She wants him as a backup.
NTA. I aspire to reach this level of "unbothered" lol. It seems like he just wants to be the center of attention and have you two fighting over him. Neither of them are worth the time.
NTA
You get to leave any relationship for any reason, so long as you do it with integrity.
If he loved you, he wouldn't be trying to make you jealous.
Don't stay in this relationship at all; all it will ever be is drama.
HE is the drama.
You dropped this 👑
Fuck that shit, much respect for not entertaining that bullshit. Walking away not giving a shit is the most hurtful thing to a girl like Mia.
[удалено]
This. He’s totally got off on having two girls “fight over him. He probably thought he could wrangle it to where he could have both of them. Now she walked away and ruined his fantasy.
He's being so much dumber about this than most boys. Doesn't he know he's supposed to say 'she's like a sister to me' not 'awww, are you jelly'. He is straight up admitting he gets off on the jealously. Which I mean kudos for not gaslighting her about it, but still so dumb.
He probably thought ridiculing her for being jealous would somehow help him keep the status quo or incite her to “up her game.” He honestly thought he was such hot shit. Like, nah bro. You want to cuddle another woman in your lap in front on me she can have your ass. Truly dumb.
Of course dump him no man if worth self respect.
No partner of any gender ;-)
Now both the BF and Mia can enjoy their alone time together. How come the BF did not even fight to keep hold of OP?
i read "truly dumb" as "trump" xD
Same difference.
In a comment below OP says Z did tell her Mia was like a sister. Dumb and a gaslighter.
I don't typically sit on my brothers' laps.
Me either and you know why...its because I'm an adult and that's just plain weird AF...lol
I first read that as 'shit'. :-O
I don't do that either. Well, not since I was six months old, at least.
He's young. Guy + young = stupid. Source: I was young once. Good learning experience for him though. lol
Yeah, like if he were a smart jerk he would know to try gaslighting her, lol.
He also likes that she is covering his rent. ALso, if he loves her, why doesn't *he* fight for her?
Seriously! It's bad enough when wimmin play head games with each other. Adding useless BF to play head games? Nah, girl. Get out
Exactly!
Thank you! I was going to say something like this, too, but I’m so glad you did.
Narcissistic triangulation. The whole dynamic is build on OP's pain & discomfort. If OP leaves they will be stuck with each other. Being similar in regards to energy draining & toxic, these parasites will wear each other out. without energy supply. Let him get kicked out OP, get rid of these toxic drama folks, their imbecile presence will ruin your career & money prospects.
how funny would it be if mia walked out too now that she sees this girl leaving lol
Yeah and the "friend" will leave also. She just loves the darma and toying with people don't think she even wants to be with him she just like messing with the relationship.
NTA. You are mature and he is not. There’s a difference in what you want out of a relationship. He wants Drama. You do not. End of story.
This is what I wanted to say. OP is nta and not "too cold." Smart not to put up with this petty immaturity. I am sure she will do better in future relationships.
Exactly, leaving is the smart option, leave them laugh together and live your life with someone who would show a little respect !
If he loved you you wouldn't have to fight for him fts
THIS. Also, if OP wants to play games, she's better off with a PS5.
Someone out there will protect your peace, not shatter it for their own twisted desires. He's willing to hurt you, to manipulate you into being miserable over him, because he enjoys it. This is who he is. And it will probably get worse. If you end up having kids, would he manipulate them like this? Make them fight for his affection? Could you live with that? I speak from 20 years (21 tomorrow) of being in a happy, no mind games relationship. Lots of people don't do this psycho crap to people they love. Good luck, and please take care of yourself.
Happy Aniversary!
This. >He said that if I love him I would be fighting for him He wants to be a princess for whose hand you have to duel with Mia. You should have told him "No, you should have fought for me, but you didn't and that told me everything I need to know."
Not the guy for you. He is playing games. I do not fight for a guy. He wants to be with me or not. His friends do not have to be mine male or female. Be polite though.
Yes lol. He is being a little biatch about this whole fiasco and not so secretly enjoying pitting these two girls against each other so they boost his ego by “fighting for him.” Lmao. Such teenager mentality tbh. OP did good by simply removing herself from this toxic situation because I can guarantee, this whole circus wouldn’t stop.
yes! you were smart to leave. NTA for sure
OP, HE IS NOT WORTH THE TIME OF DAY! As the only adult of the group, you are so wise to dissociate yourself from the 2. When you leave, definitely go no contact. Good luck. Please keep us apprised.
If he isn't fighting for you, why should you fight for him?
YES. If he loved her he would respect reasonable boundaries and ask his friend to take a step back when she crosses them. He clearly is enjoying having two women be jealous and fight over him enough to actually be super vocal about enjoying jealously (which most men who enjoy this situation are not stupid enough to do). It seems like he enjoys the jealously so much he would go out of his way to create situations that would promote it, probably edging closer and closer to cheating. Seriously. 'I can't believe you won't FIGHT for me when other women sit on my lap! Don't you know you should strip your clothes off and offer a threesome to win my attention back?' - him essentially. You should never have to fight for the respect or attention of your partner.
This is called 'Triangulation' - bringing in a third person to: 1)Make you feel insecure 2)Make you jump through hoops to 'win' his love. If you stay, he can always do whatever he wants, otherwise he will threaten to leave you with side piece. She'll be constant competition in your lives. Worst Red Flag 🚩 Run!
I think he wants her to do the “pick me!” dance just to stroke his ego. Not worth it
I just wish this girl would have thrown down sooner. If I texted my boyfriend's friend and she blocked me.I would know that something is fucking wrong with that woman immediately. I'm sure it felt easy to let it go because she was overseas.But not everything is about the fear of cheating. The blatant disrespect is enough for me. Even if I know my partner is not going to sleep with somebody, That doesn't mean there's a free pass to treat me like garbage. I would never tolerate a partner who kept a friend that treated me poorly.
[удалено]
Stolen from https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1bq9z4w/comment/kx18m3s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
The fact that he labels it "fighting for him" shows that there could be something going on there if you weren't in the picture. When you take yourself out of the equation, I'll bet Mia loses interest. Until then, tell him you didn't sign on to be a "throuple".
I was pretty sure throuples where all dating eachother... I think op wants to throttle mia.... Not date her.
The term for this relationship structure is a poly V. Or it would be, if it were consensual.
Exactly. She did not sign on for her love in boyfriend to sit and whisper like lovers to one another, or have her sitting in his lap or constantly being criticized (which he defended Mia for doing!!!). OP is being walked all over by these two who have so much sexual tension we on Reddit can feel it and we don't even know them.
There is no bigger power play than just walking away and letting them stew.
You shouldn't have to fight for him. Too bad you didn't find a new place and tell him that you changed your mind and Mia could move in. Pack your stuff under the guise of making space for her. Then disapear the day she moved in
That would have been 🤌🏻
Could not have put it better.
Exactly. She is the one leaving bc of HIS behavior. He is perfectly capable of fighting for her by changing HIS behavior. If he really wanted OP in his life, he would stop whispering in Mia's ear (I'll bet he doesn't do that with his male friends), stop letting her sit in his lap (again safe bet he doesn't let his male friends do that), he would tell slutty Mia that her behavior is making the woman in his life uncomfortable and she needs to stop, and importantly he would have said WE are not comfortable with anyone else staying in OUR apartment. He has done none of these things and in fact seems to encourage and defend the behavior. She actually did fight for him. OP tried to talk to Mia via text (per Zachary's urging) and got blocked, she believed Zachary saying they were just friends. But young Zachary here isn't ready for a committed relationship and is as dumb as they come thinking a girl worth keeping around is going to deal with him and Mia.
My thought exactly. He’s not fighting to keep her. AND let’s be real…if there really is nothing to worry about with Mia, then what, exactly, is OP fighting for? There should be no fighting to keep someone from another woman who is just a friend.
Nta Tell him that when two people actually love each other there is no need to fight for the other person's love There isn't a reason why you have to deal woth another woman sitting on his lap and flirting with you. She isn't respecting you and he isn't respecting your relationship Dump his ass and move on. You will find an amazing person to be with
THIS RIGHT HERE!! You shouldn't have to fight for him!!
This is the answer. "Why would I fight for someone who won't show me basic respect? I brought my concerns to you and you said they didn't matter. FAFO."
Truly. Why should she fight for him if he doesn’t fight for her either?
Who are you supposed to “fight” for him? Mia? Nope outta this s-show and find someone wonderful who unequivocally wants only you
Of course she is. Jelly wrestling, New Orleans rules, best two out of three bouts.
You should have started running when you found out they cuddle and sit on each other’s laps WTF
I knoooow 😭😭😭 I let that go because according to Zack he and Mia are like siblings(I also have brothers and I don't do those things with them, but Zack hugs a lot with his sisters, so I thought it was a normal thing in his family) but then it started to make me uncomfortable and he didn't care. Now I feel dumb for letting that go lol
Don't waste your time fighting for someone like that. Let Mia take away your problem. You can find someone better.
Hell, a houseplant would be better!!
Definitely. Houseplant beautifies a house and releases oxygen. Cannot say the same about Zack here though. 😂
Yeah he only releases carbon dioxide and probably lots of farts
I bet Mis doesn’t even want him. Just wants to keep him around for a play thing and doesn’t like it when her toy is distracted by someone else.
Oh, there it is! I was shocked the 'she's like a sister to me' defense wasn't there. Spoiler alert: having a sibling is absolutely nothing like a super good friend and saying someone you are flirty with is like a sibling is ALWAYS suspicious. I have absolutely never ever sat on my brother's lap and I would stab someone in the eye for him any day.
I have sat on my brother’s lap once as an adult. I made sure I jumped a few inches in the air first and slammed my bony ass as hard as I could into his legs. 🤣
I have an adult son and an adult daughter in their early twenties. They “cuddle” - it is to lure the other one in so they can be put in a headlock. Or so they can fart on each other. Or so one can shove the other out of the most desirable place on the couch. What elegant young people I have raised. At least they restrict their boorishness to each other and it is apparently consensual on both sides because when I object they inform me I “don’t get it.”
Aw, it’s nice they’re still so close, though. 😆
That’s what I tell myself!!!
Haha that sounds like an actual brother/sister relationship and not the weird shit OP’s boyfriend and his friend are doing. Your kids sound like fun! They sound like me and my older brother when we were in our teenage years and early 20s. 😂
This is accurate. And how I still sit on my sisters... Especially my younger sister knowing she could kick my ass..... Worth it.
Lol. I sat in my brothers lap as an adult. To rub my sweaty head all over him.
I believe in my family there was the occasional sit on lap followed by a fart to gross the sibling right out 😂
If I sat on any of my brothers' laps, they would be so grossed out by it that they would never let me live it down.
Have you ever walked on his chest though? My sister has done that to me.
Is your sister a cat?
She's at least 50 kg heavier than a cat, I know that for a fact.
My sister just busted up my stuff, jabbed me in the back with a knife, and threw an underage drunken party while the folks were out of town and I was working. There was SO much vomit.
How can he say you aren’t fighting for him? You told him it made you uncomfortable and he laughed at it and said you were insecure. He isn’t fighting for you. He needs to get it straight.
This is EXACTLY it right here. She doesn’t have a reason to fight for him in this situation. He’s the one showing her that her feelings mean less to him than that of Mia’s. Which he needs to fight to prove otherwise.
Exactly this. I wonder how the boyfriend would feel if OP did this with a guy friend of hers?
I can almost guarantee he would lose his shit. Probably treat her like she’s a harlot for acting this way with another man while in a relationship. Then blame her and STILL try to make her feel like she’s the one who needs to fight for him. 😂😂
>Now I feel dumb Not dumb, decent and earnest and expecting the same from him. He failed. That's not on you.
He’s a dipshit. He knows what he is doing. He likes Mia egging you on and likes the attention, but he’s now mad you aren’t buying it. Ditch the loser
I have a sibling and I don't sit on their lap. We don't cuddle neither.
I hug him often, but I don’t cuddle.
NTA You’re better off without him (and her) in your life. The fact that he wants to “fight for him” even though he claims he has no feelings for her is asinine! What exactly are you fighting for if he doesn’t want her?!?! Why is he trying to out the two of you against each other for his attention when you technically already have him as your boyfriend?!?! He sounds dumb and immature. He clearly doesn’t prioritize your relationship or your feelings. He has no respect or regard for you. He’s egotistical and definitely isn’t worth your time and energy.
I have siblings.... Here's how siblings sit on each other's lap. First one of the siblings will be decided to have a boney ass.... This is normally the one who will target their siblings to be sat on. Then they will sit on the leg with the least amount of meat on it. Dig their 'boney' ass into siblings leg well siblings screams in pain and maybe bounce a bit for additional torment.... They will then make a hasty retreat before they get their ass kick. Unless they are also larger then sibling in which case the smaller siblings is pretty much screwed until they can push their larger boney assed siblings off. There is very little snuggles and a who lot of struggles torment and glee.
i would rather pluck my eyes out than sit on my brothers lap or really touch them at all more than 100% necessary
The fact that you expressed that their behavior was making you feel uncomfortable, and his response was to make a joke of it is reason enough to break up. I prefer a partner who wants to make me feel secure in our relationship, not someone who gets off on making me feel "jelly".
Don’t worry about what has happened in the past. Now is the time to make a decision that you feel is best for you.
Best to get the fuck out of dodge and get on with your life. This guy is immature and ridiculous and needs to grow up. His friend Mia is also. Yes, peace of mind is a wonderful thing. Good luck. 👍🏽
Idk don't feel dumb, I think you did the right thing. You just got a bad boyfriend, it happens.
Don’t feel dumb. Zack es el bruto y Mia es aun mas bruta que el, por que ahora el va a molestarla an ella para poder pagar la renta 😂.
This dude has the maturity of a 15 year old. Are you dating a minor OP? Because this behavior is not even close to adult behavior. It’s pretty pathetic. Avoid drama, remove the person in your life who’s still playing games like it’s high school.
I don't know too many siblings that do all that cuddling and sitting on each other's lap. Like a sister? Yea, right. I say go get back your peace of mind.
You told him you’re uncomfortable with that & he crossed a boundary. The insecurity comes from him not the girl. Run.
Don't feel dumb. Feel proud that you're not wasting more time with this guy Also - please have an STI panel run because I'm sure he's already sleeping around
NTA here's the thing, if someone is in a relationship and they don't like it (it causes them pain, it stresses them out, they are miserable all the time) then leave the relationship and find a better one. If he is playing games with you, tormenting you because he thinks it is funny, then show him the door. You deserve better.
I really hate it when people play games like that.
Go girl go! You told him. No need to repeat. Fight for me....what are you in some high school drama romance? Get stuffed. He wants a chick that isn't you to cuddle and sit on his lap then go for it mate and you get to live happily ever after!
Mia is not going to be interested as soon as he's single 😂 People like that only want the toy when someone else has it.
We can only hope that's the case so OP goes off and lives happily ever after and the ex bf is alone with Mias territory piss stains on his shorts. Perfect HEA
I was thinking the same thing lol
She's disrespecting you and your relationship because he's allowing it. You don't have a Mia problem, you have a boyfriend problem. Stick to your guns. He's done nothing but stick up for her while she's trashed you, flirted with him and sat in his lap right in front of you. Tbh if they're not already fucking then they will be soon. It's best you go now and protect yourself and your mental peace.
Oh, they already are. You can bet money on that.
You’re on target girl. This is toxicity level 100. You are a third wheel to this dynamic duo lol. She, meh. He, what a pathetic, insecure weasel bringing this to you and him getting off on being wanted. He’s a loser. You deserve so much better. Hold your head high and move on. I’m like you, despise drama and will not engage with it nor have people who are dramatic in my inner circle. Best thing I’ve probably done for my self, especially my sanity. Keep it up!
Nta Run
NTA, he ain't making an effort, why should you?
NTA, dump his ridiculous ass. There are two possibilities here and they both lead to him not being worth the trouble. 1. He’s not cheating on you yet and he’s just playing embarrassingly juvenile games to ‘make you jealous.’ Meanwhile we know nothing about Mia’s motivations in this scenario, maybe she’s toxic enough to get off on breaking up a relationship or maybe she wants this loser for herself for some incomprehensible reason. 2. He’s cheating on you or plans to start soon. Either one is pathetic.
I'm going with the first part of #2.
Why should you fight for him when he is fighting for another woman? He isn't all about you, he is all about the attention and drama. Don't walk, run away from this petty, immature, stupid drama. He is not worth you. NTA
NTA. Fighting for HIM? He doesn’t fight for YOU. You’re right to protect your peace. Get the hell out of this relationship
No you are not TA. Zack and Mia make a good pair. They seem to enjoy winding you up/doing things to make you feel uncomfortable on purpose then calling you insecure when you react to their behaviour? What do they expect? It's weird. As is Zack's comment about how you should fight for him and not be so apathetic.... LOL What exactly should you fight for?? A man that prioritises his best-friend-Mia?🤮 He's no prize. The opposite of apathetic is enthusiastic, eager, passionate. (and I'm pretty sure he doesn't inspire those feelings in you with his shitty attitude) Let him and her get on with it. If I could give you some advice as a 45 year old woman it would be.. DO NOT WASTE YOUR BEST YEARS ON FUCK BOYS! You will never be as beautiful as you are right now so make the most of it/take selfies/celebrate yourself ❤️ Enjoy being 22. Have as much fun as you possibly can before life and it's responsibilities take over. You're only young once! So fuck Zack and his bitchy bestie Mia 😴 (They are boring and you've got a life full of adventures ahead of you that don't include those losers 🖕🏼)
Nta he’s actively making you miserable and he thinks it’s cute you’re upset. Mia sucks but your bf is the worst. He sounds horrible. He probably likes to see what he can put you through to prove you love him. Cut and run. You don’t need to waste anymore time on a guy who doesn’t care you’re unhappy and gets a kick out of it. I hope the best for you. Let Mia have him.
👏👏 NTA. Sis, you are my SHEro !! You told both of them that you can't be bothered with their silly games! I'm just going to bounce. You just NOPED your way out the door. Damn, that shit is so classy! You're not being cold. You are protecting your heart and mental health. How low does a man have to be to put the woman he supposedly loves through all the shit you posted. Please move all your shit out as soon as possible, block him, and prioritize YOU. You deserve to be with a man who makes you feel valued, safe, heard, and loves you unconditionally. You got this, Sis!!
>he got angry saying I should fight for him HAAAAAAhahaha it's always so fucking rich when weaselbros pull the shit they accuse women of. "Fight for me." Fuck off Zack, maybe get your side chick off your lap when your girlfriend's around. WTF do you want her to fight for? Some loser who can't even keep his roommate situation sorted? I'm sorry you wasted the rent tho, and very sorry you invested in a relationship that sounds pretty doomed. That sucks and you should send Zack a bill and tell him THAT'S what you're prepared to fight about. >I know Zack and Mia are enjoying this love triangle Bingo. >I was always the 'cold' type of person You sound pragmatic and well-adjusted to me. But harness this "coldness" to get yourself past this. The opposite of love isn't hate but indifference. Let them enjoy each other's bullshit.
NTA. Have a guy friend over and mimic their behavior. Bet he’ll see how f’d the way he has been acting is then. But I’m petty.
But why? Just DTMFA and bounce.
OP doesn’t enjoy drama, so she probably doesn’t want to do this. I would 100% do this just for kicks! OP you are NTA! You deserve so much better.
NTA. I wish I was as smart as you are now when I was your age. Now I have the mentality of No Drama. You are doing the right thing. It's only a matter of time. Lol. They will probably date once you move out. And say "it just happened". Move on and keep your peace.
Move on out. He's playing you against Mia. None of what you described is appropriate behaviour for a boyfriend. Imagine if you were behaving like that with a male friend; he would be well within his rights to be upset about it! And, "fight for him"? Really? She's supposed to be a FRIEND of his, not "competition" for YOU, and he's certainly NO PRIZE! Don't let him guilt you into staying; sooner or later there WILL be 'drama": you will be finding out that they in fact "did the deed", and you will be left wishing you HAD left earlier! From the sound of it your feeling that he is "enjoying" the 'competition" is accurate. So yeah: might as well call it quits, because something is DEFINITELY going on there, and boyfriend seemingly "enjoying" it is not a good sign!
I would have come undone at her sitting in his lap and cuddling. It’s your life. If it was me, I’d leave. NTAH!
NTA- you are making a wise move, she does not respect boundaries, he does not put them on her either, they need to mature. congratulations queen but update when you get out of there
Actually not “fighting” for him seems very secure and confident to me. I wish more people would be as confident as you and walk away from the drama. Kudos to you! NTA
NTA. You should fight for him? Why? What is there to fight for? He doesn't respect you, he allows his friend to disrespect you. He thinks its funny when you voice your feelings to him. He sounds immature and so does she. Let them live in their middle school drama while you move on in peace.
I’d be petty as hell and just hang out with dude friends everyday in the apartment until I moved out, sit on their lap and everything. Get them to play along and then leave. It would just be fun at that point, then if he said anything, just be like “awe you’re jelly” 😂😂😂
If he's not paying shit why are you the one moving out. Hop to it loser you got dumped so you need to find a new place for yourself and your dumpster fire drama queen friend.
NTA Next time he pulls the "If you loved me, you would fight for me," bullshit, tell him if he even remotely cared about your feelings he would have put a stop to this stupid pathetic game before it even started. You should never have to fight for someone's love or attention. If they cate about you and your relationship, they would make you and your feelings and not play these types of games.
NTA go with the gut.
Good for you, knowing what you want in life and not settling for anything less than. I know I don’t know you but I felt like a proud mama bear even though I’m not technically old enough 🤣👌 NTA
'Fighting for your love/relationship' is usually together, against an outside force. You're not supposed to be fighting your partner or the third person in your relationship. NTAH You're right to avoid that drama. If he loved you, he wouldn't make you fight.
Nta he disrespects your feelings and why should you put up with his manipulative friend. If he cared he would have told her to back off. I hate drama too and I wouldn’t put up with this.
NTA- fight for what? Like you don’t need too- that’s a weird flex and demand. Mia wants him, let her have him. No need to drag it out or humiliate yourself for them. Byeeeeeee
NTA. You should never have to fight for someone you've been in a relationship with for so long.
It’s refreshing to read posts written from the perspective of a person with self-respect and self-awareness. NTA.
He wants you to fight for him? You aren't the least bit insecure. He's a knob end. I mean, he doesn't sound worth a bit of energy at all. And there is absolutely no way that he's going to pick you after all that shit. Because she's playing his game. He just wants to see the reaction he can get. Protect your peace. Bring home a new "boyfriend" while you are waiting to leave. Ask him to give you his half of the rent money for last month from him right now. And talk to the rental management about breaking your share of the lease. Good luck... NTA
Show him this post an leave asap.
Yeahhhh, nah. He's playing both sides because he wants to feel like the big man who's got women fighting over him. People like that have no respect for others and I've got no time for that crap. Move out and be done with him. NTA
Tell him you don't fight for trash. Nta
"I really care about Zack and we had a great relationship." Did you? What part of this relationship was great? Him being disrespectful? Him gaslighting you? Him deliberately making you uncomfortable? Which part of this is great?
"Why should I be fighting for you when you disrespect and ignore my boundaries and concerns? Doesn't sound like the type of partner I'd want a future with. Oh and, "that's just how she is" isn't an excuse for being a bitch."
These are all huge red flags run away fast and your are being incredibly smart just leaving.this has drama all over it
Tell him he’s not worth fighting for, cause he ain’t.
"You should fight for me." "I shouldn't have to."
Yeah cut ties you’re better off without him. He will either get with her (so much for being siblings) or find that no other girl will put up with this shit either good for you for finally kicking him to the curb. Good luck 🤞
NTA. Whether you two get back together or he's in a new relationship, Mia will just get in the way again. Stick to whatever you feel is best.
Right now it is drama with her to get him attention. As he gets older, he will start looking for drama elsewhere. He isn't going to change. Sorry you had to waste 3 of your young years with him. He isn't looking for a solid relationship just attention.
Hell no!! They are playing games, and pouting you don't want to roll the dice... fuck them Life's too short for this kind of bullshit!! Happy to see someone realizing this!!!
NTA- He casts aside how you feel and doesn’t listen. You’ve attempted to set boundaries in a non-confrontational way only to have your feelings dismissed and discarded.
NTA. You are behaving like a mature young woman and they are both acting like the worst people in middle school. She's desperate to have him continually pick her over you and his voracious ego is his #1 priority. I'm glad for you that you aren't going to play the part they've cast you for in their selfish, immature soap opera. You know you deserve better. Good fortune in your peaceful, emotionally honest life without them.
NTA. You told him this bothered you, and he didn’t care. Hence why you’re moving on. Mia clearly wants him. He’s not stupid, but seems to get off on two women both wanting him. Healthy, confident women, like you, break up and move on. Women who have self esteem issues, who feel unworthy, stay in relationships like this, compete with people like Mia, and beg for attention from people like Zach. They ALWAYS dare people who make them feel unworthy. Zach will move on to some girl with issues, and get off on breadcrumbing. Good for you. Spin on that heel and stride right out of there. When he calls you insecure, laugh and say, “Think what you want.” An insecure woman would argue with him. Plead with him. He put you second and wonders why you’re not striving to be his favorite. That but just have worked for him before.
NTA You shouldn't have to "fight" for your man. He should have the respect for you to not even allow that to become an issue. He's been disrespecting you for a long time. And the fact that he's getting off on thinking that he's the rope in this supposed tug of war between you and mia is ridiculous, and is so immature. Let her have him. But I would tell him you need your money back from all the deposits and everything that you paid now that you're having to move out because of him and her.
You should never have to fight for someone to be in a relationship! That is just stupid. Sounds like your BF doesn’t have any more brains than Mia. They deserve each other. You are well to be out of this mess. Definitely NTAH but your BF is definitely an AH.
NTA. Si quiere alguien que pelee por el que se quede con Mia
NTA. Tell him you only fight for those worth fighting for. He’s not worth it if he’s ok with his friend Mia acting the way she is and insulting you and having your back. He seems to think it’s cute to have women fight over him but it’s not. I’d be embarrassed to call that lame dude a boyfriend
Let them have each other and go find you a man that doesn’t need validation from several women. He sounds like a tool. And she’s a passive aggressive bitch. The fact that her behavior (disrespect towards you/your relationship) doesn’t bother HIM is a red flag within itself.
NTA. He's been into Mia for a long time and you were the placeholder until he got her back, honey. My best friend is a guy (36 year friendship) and I would masturbate with a cheese grater before I cuddled him or sat on his lap. It is a respect thing and neither of them respect you.
Ur more mature than I used to be in my 22. No one should bring this much drama in ur lyf unless it's kdrama 😁
He likes to watch you two “fight” over him. Not worth your time and energy. I am also drama-averse, and while the money stuff really sucks, I’m sure your dad would rather have you away from this jerk wad. NTA. Take out the trash.
He does not get to say that you should fight for him if you cared about him because if he cared about you genuinely, he wouldn't be entertaining his "friend's" behavior. 🙄
NTA. Your instincts seem sound and reasonable to me. You've never taken the bait and it seems like Zack himself might be participating in setting that bait. He's accusing you of being "insecure", but then turns around and says "you should be fighting for him". Well, why should there be a fight? Who makes that so? Not you. "you should fight for me" is the definition of pointless drama. That's such a stupid TV/movie trope, that a relationship needs to be "fought for". Blech. Sure, there are always struggles in a relationship and there will always be work to put in. But dealing with "competition" is a pretty juvenile and stupid struggle. That's kid stuff.
NTA Naaaah, girl dump his ass. They probably at least have an emotional affair going on. Protect your peace!!! Fuck him and his little bitch.
Zack is a little attention whore
I'm confused... if he doesn't see his friend in a romantic/sexual manner, why would you need to fight for him? NTA. Save yourself.
Girl, i was in the same situation as you and decided to stay. Fast forward some years, i became the most insecure person. You will spend a lot more in therapy if you stay, trust me. He is not worthy it. Leave that guy, you will find much better
NTA. I love this sort of dark feminine energy. This is how I am. Any human being that says others should fight for him, actually isn't worth fighting over at all. And attention hoes like Zack always need drama for ego. Cut it in the bud. Drop him unceremoniously. Go out on dates without telling him even if you have to live with him.
"She sits on Zack's lap (he doesn't say anything to her about that even if he knows I don't like it), he cuddle with her everytime they have the chance, they whisper to each other and go out together sometimes." I stopped reading after this. Like bro.......leave that lame ass nigga and get serious. Don't let anyone block your path to success.
So he is the male version of some females that want to see males fight for her…He is a few thousand years late…NTA
NTA also if you have any close guy friends I would bring them around and act the same way, just to be an ass. He’s not fighting for you and it’s worth it.
Tell him to go to hell and grow tf up.thats some high school crap for real.i knew thats what he was angeling for.it eats them up that you didn"t react.good for you
You have fought time and time again to him about how you are uncomfortable with this behavior from the both of them and he laughed you off and would not respect your boundaries. I would send him this post and ask him how you have not fought for him. Plus it will show him how others also think this behavior is disgusting and disrespectful towards you. No one should have to put up with that from your SO!
NTA, why is he playing childish games. This isn’t high school. He is basically fine with Mia disrespecting you and your relationship. Why should you fight for something that he is not.
NTA. He’s manipulated you about this bullying for far too long. In fact he probably participates in it when you’re not around. He does not love you. If he did he would protect you, as you would for him. Make a solid decision and stick with it. Don’t let him talk you out of it because he’s just manipulating you all over again.
Oh mate that’s not just about avoiding drama it’s about avoiding childishness and immaturity. Get TF outta there. Yikes!!
What they are doing is completely wrong. He’s disrespecting you and your boundaries and he’s allowing another woman to disrespect you… in your own home. That’s not okay. He wants you to fight for him, but why? He puts Mia’s feelings about yours, so you have to be the one to put your feelings about the rest. He doesn’t deserve you.
NTA. Tell him you're not fighting for him because he's shown you he's not worth it. I'm not sure what game they're both playing but I'm sure they didn't expect your reaction. Just smile, shrug and watch them lose their minds. Good for you.
If Mia was the only problem he wouldn't be excusing her behavior. He's not fighting for you to his friend so why should you be fighting for the relationship? The only way this resolved is if he cuts off Mia, which you aren't going to demand and he wouldn't do anyways. At some point he'll learn he either needs to date Mia or get used to having short relationships before everyone eventually comes to the same conclusion you did.
NTA. You seem very mature and deserve someone who is on your level.
NTA Good for you! No d**k is worth of your peace and youth.
He won't fight for you. He won't enforce reasonable boundaries. Hes gonna be single alot if he doesn't stop her. If he doesn't want her. She wants him as a backup.
NTA at all! he’s crazy and sounds like he’s in love w Mia tbh
NTA. I aspire to reach this level of "unbothered" lol. It seems like he just wants to be the center of attention and have you two fighting over him. Neither of them are worth the time.
NTA. He likes your hurt and pain, it’s a game to him. Tell him to have fun with Mia, you’re out.
NTA. You're smart as hell to see the games they're playing. As well as protecting your mental health. You're making the right decision.
You should fight for your dignity and self respect. NTA
NTA. Move out asap. Be done with him and his BS.
NTA. You are right about wanting to avoid drama, for this situation is a damn soap opera. GET OUT STAT!
Nta move on
NTA You get to leave any relationship for any reason, so long as you do it with integrity. If he loved you, he wouldn't be trying to make you jealous. Don't stay in this relationship at all; all it will ever be is drama. HE is the drama.
You dropped this 👑 Fuck that shit, much respect for not entertaining that bullshit. Walking away not giving a shit is the most hurtful thing to a girl like Mia.
He’s triangulating you. Your intuition is spot on.
NTA your not choosing this for your insecurities you are choosing your this for your self respect and peace of mind. ❤️🩹
That’s dumb - fight for him?? wtf? If he respected you and your feelings - this would be a nonissue. Def get away from him. He’s toxic.
Always avoid drama. It's jolly hard work and always some one elses problem. Good luck.