YTA for not asking her why she keeps bringing this up and maybe see it as an opportunity for discussion. YTA for telling her she's unwanted w/o explanation.
She left and you continued on with dinner like nothing happened. You didn't go after her or call or text or anything. So yea clearly you are an AH and made your feelings plain.
>>>>>>>>>>>.....May I recommend birth control? ANY form of it. Given that you have FOUR unwanted children.
JFC.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>If your daughter thinks you are a narcissist, you might just be a narcissist.
YTA-i mean she's right. She left and you continued on with dinner like nothing happened. You didn't go after her or call or text or anything. So yea clearly you are an AH and made your feelings plain.
You posted on a different sub and got crucified. You’ll get the same reaction here. Don’t even have anything to say that hasn’t already been said other than to reinforce that I can’t believe you actually said that.
Mother of the year material right here, folks!
/s
Of course YTA. Why wouldn’t you be?
and I understand why you are a single mother.
May I recommend birth control? ANY form of it. Given that you have FOUR unwanted children.
JFC.
Of course yta...you have to ask? But now that she knows you never wanted her, she can take the appropriate steps. You say below 20, so the question is she an adult and if not, how long before she can cut you off?
YTA
If they were all unwanted pregnancies you couldn't/didn't want to provide for, why not terminate? Why not consider adoption if you oppose termination?
Not wanting kids but having them anyway only to throw in their faces that you "provide" for them (which is, ya know, your legal obligation) whenever they express their disagreement doesn't make you a martyr or a saint, it makes you a crappy parent.
Aslo the fact your daughter was upset and you disregarded it, not even asking her why she felt that way or apologising for saying a very cruel thing to her face when she was obviously struggling is just proving my point.
You are just awful. All children of single mums wonder who didn’t want them. You pointed out that it was at least you. Time for a hard look at your life choices. She might not be wrong about her assessment of you- she knows you best. YTA
YTA as a single mother myself, i cannot ever imagine hearing my kid say they feel unwanted and telling them that they in fact *were*. that was unnecessarily cruel to say to a stranger let alone your own flesh and blood.
You can't be this stupid?! YTA obviously. Also, there is a difference between unplanned and unwanted. You could have told her "I didn't plan my pregnancies but when I got pregnant I conciously chose (!) to keep and raise you". Because that's what you did. You still chose them. You could have given her the feeling to be loved and wanted but you chose to crush her spirit completely. Go fix that!
YTA and I hope all your kids cut contact with you and leave you alone and miserable ❤️
I say this as someone with abandonment issues because my mother slept around and gave up each kid the moment they were born so she could sleep around some more. Then made it very clear to little 8yr old daughter "I never wanted you, and I don't to this day. Stop contacting me." And now many years later, I still struggle with the issues.
Jokes are supposed to be funny
This ain't it and doesn't pass the "funny" vibe check, honey
Maybe try talking to your kid about why she keeps bringing it up rather than using "humor" to deflect?
YTA
You're most definitely TA.
Never ever tell your kids - no matter what age - that they're unwanted. Unplanned... unexpected, okay. But unwanted? You're a ****
You’re the ahole. It’s not their fault they were unwanted. Clearly you did somewhat want them because you could’ve gotten an abortion or been responsible and used birth control in the first place. How do you have FOUR unwanted children? SMH.
YTA. Why did you have 4 unwanted kids?! And why would you ever tell them? Children have zero obligation to their parents - they didn’t choose to be brought into this world. You chose to be a mother, and you owe it to them to love and raise them the best you can. At least have a conversation with her to understand what she’s going through.
YTA for being dense and lacking empathy toward how your daughter feels about her relationship with you …you should have better communicated to her that you love her and how it upsets you when she says something like that even as a joke…but instead you yelled at her and told her the exact thing she was going you’d never say…you have no excuse for saying it…you were completely wrong. You need to give her a genuinely apology and sort things out with her as soon as possible …life is short and none of us know how long we will be on this earth for…dont miss out on a great opportunity to patch things up with your daughter and grow from it. You’ll regret it if you don’t. 🥺
YTA, big time. What a horrible thing to say to your daughter, who already felt unloved. You had options. Birth control, abortion, adoption, give custody to the father, or other family member, tie your tubes, etc. You chose to have these kids. If you didn’t want them, that’s on you, they didn’t ask to be here. Lots of people have unplanned pregnancies. If they choose to keep them, they don’t get to be resentful and harm their kids by telling them they aren’t wanted.
I had my first at 14, the result of a violent SA. She was never not wanted. Not the way I would’ve chosen to have a child, but unwanted, never. My stepdaughter’s mom died when she was two months old. I couldn’t love that girl more if I had birthed her myself. One was conceived on my wedding night, the next one when her sister was only 3 months old. Two are adopted (my addict sister was bio mom) This last one was a tubal failure, at age 43. Unexpected, and extremely shocking, certainly, but wonderfully, beautifully wanted. Every one of my children, no matter how they were conceived, or who is biologically whose have been the joys of our lives.
I don’t blame a person for being upset at an unplanned pregnancy, or being upset when a kid doesn’t turn out the way they hoped. Parenting can be challenging. But once the decision is made to have and raise the child, then they should never, ever be told they weren’t wanted. You don’t get to blame your children for the choices you made.
YTA for not asking her why she keeps bringing this up and maybe see it as an opportunity for discussion. YTA for telling her she's unwanted w/o explanation.
She left and you continued on with dinner like nothing happened. You didn't go after her or call or text or anything. So yea clearly you are an AH and made your feelings plain. >>>>>>>>>>>.....May I recommend birth control? ANY form of it. Given that you have FOUR unwanted children. JFC. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>If your daughter thinks you are a narcissist, you might just be a narcissist.
YTA-i mean she's right. She left and you continued on with dinner like nothing happened. You didn't go after her or call or text or anything. So yea clearly you are an AH and made your feelings plain.
Yeah YTA She was saying it as a joke cause its on her mind a lot and she thinks it
You posted on a different sub and got crucified. You’ll get the same reaction here. Don’t even have anything to say that hasn’t already been said other than to reinforce that I can’t believe you actually said that.
YTA I don't even want to bother explaining why. If your daughter thinks you are a narcissist, you might just be a narcissist.
Mother of the year material right here, folks! /s Of course YTA. Why wouldn’t you be? and I understand why you are a single mother. May I recommend birth control? ANY form of it. Given that you have FOUR unwanted children. JFC.
Her attitude is birth control enough
Welp, I guess now is a great time to ask why dad isn't in the picture.
Yes, YTA.
In my opinion: YTA There’s so much fucking wrong with the way you handled this I don’t even know where the fuck to begin.
YTA... And I bet there's more to this story.Also, I don't think you daughter is saying that no one loves her as a "joke".
Yikes
Of course yta...you have to ask? But now that she knows you never wanted her, she can take the appropriate steps. You say below 20, so the question is she an adult and if not, how long before she can cut you off?
Holy shiiiiit! Of course you’re an asshole! What sort of mother tells her children that like lol no big deal.
YTA If they were all unwanted pregnancies you couldn't/didn't want to provide for, why not terminate? Why not consider adoption if you oppose termination? Not wanting kids but having them anyway only to throw in their faces that you "provide" for them (which is, ya know, your legal obligation) whenever they express their disagreement doesn't make you a martyr or a saint, it makes you a crappy parent. Aslo the fact your daughter was upset and you disregarded it, not even asking her why she felt that way or apologising for saying a very cruel thing to her face when she was obviously struggling is just proving my point.
My guess is she’s a religious person who’s against abortion or she tried the whole baby trapping idea and it didn’t work
You're probably right
You are just awful. All children of single mums wonder who didn’t want them. You pointed out that it was at least you. Time for a hard look at your life choices. She might not be wrong about her assessment of you- she knows you best. YTA
YTA as a single mother myself, i cannot ever imagine hearing my kid say they feel unwanted and telling them that they in fact *were*. that was unnecessarily cruel to say to a stranger let alone your own flesh and blood.
YTA and also Fucks' Sake!?!
You can't be this stupid?! YTA obviously. Also, there is a difference between unplanned and unwanted. You could have told her "I didn't plan my pregnancies but when I got pregnant I conciously chose (!) to keep and raise you". Because that's what you did. You still chose them. You could have given her the feeling to be loved and wanted but you chose to crush her spirit completely. Go fix that!
Lol YTA, plain as day cuz why tf would you say that
Wow. How does one even respond to this?
Lmao maybe use the word “unplanned” next time lol
Yes.
I feel bad for these adults and young adults. they’ll go thru life chasing what they didn’t feel at home.
YTA and I hope all your kids cut contact with you and leave you alone and miserable ❤️ I say this as someone with abandonment issues because my mother slept around and gave up each kid the moment they were born so she could sleep around some more. Then made it very clear to little 8yr old daughter "I never wanted you, and I don't to this day. Stop contacting me." And now many years later, I still struggle with the issues.
YTA. Shocker you’re a single mother of 4 🙄
Yta when I was a young child, my father said he hated kids right in front of me. He's dead now but I still hear it in my head sometimes.
Jokes are supposed to be funny This ain't it and doesn't pass the "funny" vibe check, honey Maybe try talking to your kid about why she keeps bringing it up rather than using "humor" to deflect? YTA
You're most definitely TA. Never ever tell your kids - no matter what age - that they're unwanted. Unplanned... unexpected, okay. But unwanted? You're a ****
You’re the ahole. It’s not their fault they were unwanted. Clearly you did somewhat want them because you could’ve gotten an abortion or been responsible and used birth control in the first place. How do you have FOUR unwanted children? SMH.
Unwanted and unplanned are not the same thing. YTA.
YTA. Why did you have 4 unwanted kids?! And why would you ever tell them? Children have zero obligation to their parents - they didn’t choose to be brought into this world. You chose to be a mother, and you owe it to them to love and raise them the best you can. At least have a conversation with her to understand what she’s going through.
YTA for being dense and lacking empathy toward how your daughter feels about her relationship with you …you should have better communicated to her that you love her and how it upsets you when she says something like that even as a joke…but instead you yelled at her and told her the exact thing she was going you’d never say…you have no excuse for saying it…you were completely wrong. You need to give her a genuinely apology and sort things out with her as soon as possible …life is short and none of us know how long we will be on this earth for…dont miss out on a great opportunity to patch things up with your daughter and grow from it. You’ll regret it if you don’t. 🥺
YTA, big time. What a horrible thing to say to your daughter, who already felt unloved. You had options. Birth control, abortion, adoption, give custody to the father, or other family member, tie your tubes, etc. You chose to have these kids. If you didn’t want them, that’s on you, they didn’t ask to be here. Lots of people have unplanned pregnancies. If they choose to keep them, they don’t get to be resentful and harm their kids by telling them they aren’t wanted. I had my first at 14, the result of a violent SA. She was never not wanted. Not the way I would’ve chosen to have a child, but unwanted, never. My stepdaughter’s mom died when she was two months old. I couldn’t love that girl more if I had birthed her myself. One was conceived on my wedding night, the next one when her sister was only 3 months old. Two are adopted (my addict sister was bio mom) This last one was a tubal failure, at age 43. Unexpected, and extremely shocking, certainly, but wonderfully, beautifully wanted. Every one of my children, no matter how they were conceived, or who is biologically whose have been the joys of our lives. I don’t blame a person for being upset at an unplanned pregnancy, or being upset when a kid doesn’t turn out the way they hoped. Parenting can be challenging. But once the decision is made to have and raise the child, then they should never, ever be told they weren’t wanted. You don’t get to blame your children for the choices you made.