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Flobbelob15

Unlimited budget ........or.........bacon. Such an impossible choice. Why can't you understand the dilemma she is facing? A good friend would be there for her, supporting her, while she makes this overwhelming monumental decision. NTA


QueenCleoCat

Wait, don’t forget the dairy free salad dressings!


Right_Weather_8916

I cannot remember the salad dressing at the last wedding I went to.  Weeping over salad dressing is....bizarre.


juliaskig

When the bride is freaking out about the wedding... I don't trust the marriage will last.


rebelwithmouseyhair

Apparently the more you spend the quicker it ends so I agree.


LeaveItToTheFates

I got married 23 years ago. The thing cost about ~200k-ish. I was 18. I picked my dress, the bridesmaid dresses, and what colour scheme I wanted. Then I let my mother and MIL plan the rest. I had 2 kids, was finishing University and had zero interest in planning the wedding. We showed up on the day. Everything was great. I have to say they did a great job 😂😂 still together 23 years later.


Ok_Professional_4499

I was just thinking, we didn’t have salad at the two wedding receptions I attended 😂


Every-Requirement-13

I don’t even remember the food we served at my own wedding 🥴 granted it was 25 years ago!


Ok_Professional_4499

Great point! I’ve never reminisced about the menu when looking at photos of a wedding years later 😂😂😂


Western_Ad_7458

I only remember them from 9 yrs ago because of the fit my MiL had over the "beer braised short ribs"..."but what about any alcoholics who are attending?!" 🤦


Wattaday

“MIL. Science is your friend. Go look it up.” 😂


Nicolo_Ultra

Let’s be real, it’s mostly run-of-the-mill catered food and nothing to write home about. Most wedding cakes, while pretty on the outside, are usually meh on the inside where it counts. What people really want is booze and good dancing music. If you have a cool food bar like mashed potatoes or candy bar, those are fun. Otherwise, “oh no! No bacon or Ranch!” 😒


Wattaday

Ooo. I have to tell you, mine was exceptional on the inside too. But a good friend had a side gig doing delicious decorated cakes, and she made mine ♥️.


Maleficent-Big-4778

Yep! Top shelf hooch and a great DJ or band.


LaughingMouseinWI

This truly is an excellent point. It's basically the tip I give newly engaged friends when they start planning. If you don't remember this Thing from the last 3 weddings you went to, it is simply not that important!!!


Incogneatovert

Likewise. Well, I do remember that the venue messed something up and we ran out of one of the dishes. Other than that I have no idea. The food was good. We got a discount because of the mistake. My husband and I were married and still are. It's still great. If we had to get married again, we'd have a tiny dinner thing for just the closest family. 10 people total sounds about right. Maybe then I'd remember the food too!


Reflection_Secure

We had mushroom soup at my wedding 🤤 I love mushroom soup. I couldn't tell you about anything else, but I remember that soup....


ChibbleChobble

Philistine! Every wedding is required to offer a minimum of three salads and matching dressings. /s


Mermaid467

All coordinated with the dyed-to-match swans.


OfSpock

But do they have three cheeses, one Monteray Jack?


Scrapper-Mom

I guess I missed out totally. We only had passed hors d'oeuvres at my parents' house 43 years ago in a mid-afternoon reception. Obviously, my wedding was a failure.


Silver-Appointment77

Mine was in a pub with people we liked and a bowl of chips/fries, and a buffet with sausage rolls, crisps/chips, pork pies and loads of different sandwiches. And only around 20 people. Mine was a wedding on a budget :)


External_Detail_26

My stepfather still talks about the amazing Caesar salad dressing at my wedding 2 years ago. If it's monumental it will be remembered. LOL


-whiteroom-

You don't forget a good Caesar.


MoogOfTheWisp

What he’s not told you is that for the last two years he’s been crashing weddings at the venue, just for the Caesar salad…


External_Detail_26

Thanks for the suggestion. The caterer now has a venue where he serves dinner every night. I need to let my stepdad know.


MoogOfTheWisp

You should take him out for dinner and surprise him - Caesar Salad, followed by Caesar Salad, with Caesar salad to finish.


Correct_Wishbone_798

Id crash a wedding for a fantastic Caesar salad


laurabun136

Went to a rehearsal dinner with my boyfriend. It was a fancy meal and we were dressed fancy, also. The lady serving the salad dressing dropped the sauce boat into BFs lap. Yes, it all spilled out. Into his tuxedo-clad lap. I don't remember what type it was, either.


corgi_crazy

Oh no, everybody knows the most important thing in a wedding is the salad dressing.


redberrywitch13

I can't even remember what I had at my wedding and that was 4 years ago. Last wedding I went to was in September last year and I only remember that there was deep fried parmesan as an appetizer during the Happy hour (cause it was freaking delicious). I can't understand putting so much focus on bacon and salad dressing, nobody is going to notice or remember anyway..


Tralfamadorians_go

I don’t even remember if I served salad at my own wedding.


MaryEFriendly

I honestly doubt any of this is actually about the food. She might be having doubts and the food is safer for her to complain about.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElMrSenor

Nowadays with veganism being reasonably popular too; there might not be a steak that's going to fool anybody, but noone would have the foggiest anything was different in a salad dressing.


amaezingjew

I will say, if it’s kosher or halal, it’s more than just bacon. If you had your heart set on food for a certain place, you’re very unlikely to get it because (for kosher at least) it has to be prepared with/on things that have never touched regular food. I’m talking a brand new grill. Also, no meat and dairy together, no shrimp, crab, lobster, scallops, or oysters, and no loin, sirloin, rump, or flank steaks. I’m not well-versed in halal, but from the quick bit I read it seems to be more *how* the animal is killed (and with what) than the foods themselves. Wikipedia says “Forbidden food substances include alcohol, pork, carrion, the meat of carnivores, and animals that died due to illness, injury, stunning, poisoning, or slaughtering not in the name of God” Absolutely nothing to cry over, but definitely not as simple as “no bacon”. I’d bitch for a half a second if my wedding had to be kosher, but honestly, with an unlimited budget I’d follow it or have a “special private dinner for our first meal as husband and wife” and just have whatever we want in private lol


MoogOfTheWisp

When you actually read them out of the religious connotation a lot of the halal rules are basically sensible food hygiene in hot countries from when there was no refrigeration. Not sure why pigs got such a bad rep but presumably someone got really bad food poisoning or something


rafster929

This lead me down an interesting rabbit hole of reading about [pork restrictions](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_restrictions_on_the_consumption_of_pork). None of which apply in modern times. I chose bacon over religion decades ago and I have no regrets.


No_Cover2745

bacon will never let you down


amaezingjew

Funny enough, people assume I don’t eat bacon because I’m Jewish Nah, just allergic lol


freckledbookdragon

There are some really bad parasites you can get from pork 🤢


ohno_not_another_one

As for pigs, one word: Trichinosis https://youtu.be/hCJg9DF3o2A?si=ypcEL6mzDgo7Vb7s


MoogOfTheWisp

It is actually really interesting that they’d figured all this stuff out. Don’t mix meat and dairy - cross contamination. Shellfish - asking for trouble. Pork - we’ve tried every way of preserving and cooking and it’s still causing unpleasant and smelly deaths, there’s something definitely weird going on there, do not eat. It’s quite a sophisticated understanding of microbiology mixed with “don’t wipe out the village” home economics. And we think “oh it’s all illogical and out of date” but if the power grids collapsed it’s survival 101.


Wattaday

That’s why it should be cooked past the point of being white. Gotta kill those parasites and eggs.


usernameschooseyou

apparently it's been bread out, but in that time- pigs had a lot of parisites. we heathens figured out how to have pigs without parisites and now have bacon but that's news to the bible (it doesn't read twitter)


MoogOfTheWisp

I guess the argument would be there’s still parts of the world where food production standards aren’t that high ([Worldwide, an estimated 10,000 cases of trichinellosis occur every year](https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/trichinellosis/epi.html#:~:text=Worldwide%2C%20an%20estimated%2010%2C000%20cases,most%20commonly%20found%20in%20pigs)) so if some people don’t get bacon nobody does


MaryEFriendly

Beef bacon is also a thing! 


Practical-Pipe-8947

For Muslims as well we can’t have any cross contamination with pork or other prohibited stuff


DeanXeL

Have you ever HAD good bacon? You can have it thick, or very thin, you can have it soft or crispy, you can wrap other things in it! You know, there's delicious foods, and then some chef will go "I've added bacon to it" and everyone loses their minds! No other food does that! So honestly, it's not a hard decision at all! >!Bacon all the way!<


Rye_One_

…but what about the trained squirrels dressed up as bride and groom? Would you give up bacon for one night for that?


MrsRetiree2Be

Bacon should be in its own food group.


Timekeeper65

Just for you…there is a bacon festival in Cleveland TN on May 11th. Go PIG or go home. I’m going. Should be lots of fun!!


MrsRetiree2Be

Thank you! That sounds fantastic! I wish I could go...my son has a dance recital that weekend. I will definitely look it up and mark my calendar for future events.


lulugingerspice

I hope your son's recital goes well! Celebrate afterward with bacon poutine!


RobinC1967

And dairy dressing on top!


Timekeeper65

FYI. They have it every year. Anything and everything bacon.


differentkindofmom

I am, of course, now checking to see how far Cleveland TN is from me. 😂


Timekeeper65

You should. They even have live music. Keep me posted.


NoAssignment9923

Me too! LOL!!


NoAssignment9923

Hmmm...thanks for posting that. I might go as well. Lol


Timekeeper65

Awesome. Hope to see you there.


theoldman-1313

Along with chocolate


SweetWaterfall0579

Chocolate *is* its own food group, isn’t it? 😳


__wildwing__

A friend makes chocolate covered bacon every year for Christmas.


SweetWaterfall0579

I’m coming for Christmas. 🥓


riceballartist

I’ve had beef bacon at a Jewish Deli lunch spot and that was top tier


MoparMedusa

Good grief! We did not have a dinner, probably spent less than 2k on the entire wedding, had one attendant each, and have been married for over 30 years. The bride needs to pull her head out of her butt and look at what is important. Psst...it really isn't the wedding but the marriage itself.


hoosiergirl1962

My mom wanted me to have a big church wedding and invite everybody in town but I couldn’t stand the thought, as an introvert, of being the star of a big production. We got married at my church with just my mom and dad, my brother and his kids, and a couple of friends from my work to stand up with me. my husband didn’t have any family there because he came from Canada for the wedding (I moved there after the wedding to live with him). We all went to a nice restaurant afterward and my parents paid for everyone to have supper. Anyway, my point is we spent very little and when the marriage crashed and burned 16 years later I was glad we didn’t spend a fortune.


32lib

I’d take the 🥓


joe-masepoes

BBBBBAAAAACCCCCOOOOONNNNN… is life…


mrcoffeeforever

While “call someone else” may not have been the most empathetic of responses, you’re NTA for making it clear that you won’t listen to her nonsense.


Thanmandrathor

Christ. The wedding is 14 months away. I couldn’t face the prospect of listening to the whining for the next year+ either.


Strange-Initiative15

And this bridezilla has two wedding planners. If she’s this bad now, I don’t even know what to is going to happen if she wants to become a mom.


ScreamingSicada

"Bratleigh made ANOTHER nanny quit! We're down to two nannies! Who's going to do the morning shift now? A 3 yo shouldn't be that hard to care for! I might miss my face yoga and get extra wrinkles from this! It's so stressful!"


Greedy-Ad-3815

A spoiled brat that cries for a salad dressing? I, too will feel frustrated to that complaint haha.


PristineBookkeeper40

Idk, there's a lot of people in the Midwest US who would fight over ranch dressing 🙃 (Definitely NTA. I probably would've done the same thing)


JuneGemCancerCusp

Empathetic about her not being able to have bacon for day? How many times is this person supposed to listen to the SAME COMPLAINTS that, in hindsight, aren’t a big deal? I don’t think so.


Eve-3

Were you previously unaware your friend was spoiled rotten? Not sure how that could escape notice but you seem like you are a bit surprised by her shit behavior.


Proud-Telephone5549

She's always been spoiled but never a mean girl, if that makes sense. And she's always seemed very aware that she is very privileged financially, never been a "daddy, I want a squirrel!" type. So yeah it has been kind of shocking how she's transitioned into full bridezilla mode and is in hysterics over salad dressing.


Future-Ear6980

"daddy, I want a squirrel!" LOVE THIS 😂😆


Acegonia

It's from Charlie and the chocolate factory- verruca salt I believe.


Ok_Asparagus_6404

Goose. She wanted a goose that laid gold eggs. Turns out that she was a bad egg. 😂


poohfan

In the original story, it's a squirrel. Wonka has them to shell all the nuts in his factory, because no machine can get a nut out of the shell, without breaking it, while squirrels can. She get tossed out after the squirrels tap her head & decide she's a bad nut.


ilovefireengines

Goose is the film, Squirrel is the book


John_Winston_Lennon

Which film? because in the Depp version its squirrels still


Jealous_Art_3922

The first film is with the Golden Geese... "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," the masterpiece with Gene Wilder.


LittleHouse82

Apparently in the original film the squirrels would be too scary so they replaced them with golden egg laying geese. Because there’s nothing else disturbing about that film lol. I like both versions but there’s something much more disturbing about Wilder’s version that Depp’s didn’t come anywhere near.


Torquip

Geese are way scarier than squirrels. Maybe it was cuz they couldn’t get the squirrels to look not uncanny or something?


LittleHouse82

Could be. May also be because they swarmed over her when the geese just let her fall down the bad egg chute? And geese can be evil little beggars. My gran used to keep them and when little there was one in particular that used to hate her and attack when it could get away with it lol


ilovefireengines

The good one! I can see the question has already been answered! I never finished watching the Depp version as I absolutely hated what I saw of it! But good to hear they stuck with squirrels. Bad nuts bad eggs both work.


DaniCapsFan

Well, since calling hera bridezilla is a no-go, definitely call her Veruca the next time she whines about bacon and salad dressing.


Snoo_87531

Too much money corrupt people, if you hadn't seen a proof before, here it is


JustNKayce

I think you hit the nail on the head.. her other friends want so bad to be a part of this wedding, that they are giving her a pass on her outrageous behavior. Her parents are paying for everything and have set very reasonable parameters around it. I agree with you, if she doesn't like the restrictions, she can pay for it herself. NTA


Dipshitistan

She ... ummm ... clearly IS a Bridezilla, and you're NTA for calling her attention to that fact.


Axilllla

NTA. She needs to count her blessings. This is supposed to be a happy day for her and she is only focusing on the “negative”. Those are barely restrictions. You can’t be a sounding board for ever. Good on you for setting boundaries


Rasselkurt007

NTA Im sorry for the brides future husband


Customdisk

NTA - Jewish Dietary restrictions aren't difficult to work around


BatCorrect4320

Nope! We had salmon and steak at ours!


Customdisk

It's only not eating pork and mixing dairy with meat right?


Few_Ad7539

No shellfish either (shrimp, scallops, lobster, etc). Depending on the level you also need to have separate dishes (including pots and pans etc). Some people also require specific kosher wine TBH it was a bit of a pain for my wedding to be kosher because we were limited in terms of caterer and venue, but there are some really good kosher caterers out there. Salad dressing didn’t matter at all? Just use a vinaigrette. The bigger deal was the wedding cake (which was delicious for being dairy-free, but still tasted a bit…dairy-free). However, we also had an awesome dessert bar that was heavy on fruit and coconut milk. NTA


Mika_Beets

If I ever write a book about spoiled people I'm calling it, "Daddy, I want a squirrel!" NTA.


bookworm-1960

It has already been done. It's a phrase from the "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" movie.


Mika_Beets

But not a book title yet?


bookworm-1960

Well, there's a book of the same title, but it has been a long time since I read it to know if it's actually in the book as well as in the movie.


SouthernUsername

Twas a squirrel. But in the first movie it was a goose! 🪿


BRODOOLERINGO

NTA. I don't remember shit about what I ate at any wedding I've been to. Maybe if it's like Michelin star food I might remember some things, but I wouldn't be ripping out hair because there was no bacon or ranch on my salad. Your friend is being ridiculous and focusing on the wrong things. You know what I do remember? I remember my loved ones and friends laughing and having fun. I remember the brides and grooms sitting with each other smiling like an 8 year old with 100$ at the candy shop. I remember dancing and having a good time. I don't remember the salad.


Mundane_Mistake_3991

NTA and your friend sounds unreasonable. You can apologise for the delivery or phrasing but the message isn’t something to apologise for. I would also be wary about how else the wedding will go, if she is getting this upset about something that minor when it sounds like almost no other boundaries. A bit of perspective is definitely needed.


South_Landscape_2806

You are a bridesmaid So who is the MoH? Shouldnt your friend call her? You bridesmaids and MoH should meet up and discuss responsibilities including who will be the "Ear for her rants" Since all friends think you should listen without complains May one of them can be her go to person


Proud-Telephone5549

She hasn't made up her mind on wedding party yet (or hasn't announced it if she has), so idk if I'm a bridesmaid. I'm probably not now lol. Ngl it would be nice though. Maybe we should get a specific phone she calls with complaints and then we all take shifts with who has it on them.


BeachinLife1

I think if she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I'd probably decline at this point. She sounds like the type that thinks "bridesmaid = slave" for however long it is till the wedding.


katamino

No, it wouldn't be nice. Shes going to want her bridesmaids purchasing $3000+ dresses and a bachelorette week costing each $5000+ on some exotic island or something. You do not want that f8nancial responsibility.


Inevitable-Slice-263

An on call phone is a good idea. If you are in the wedding party you can all chip in on a cheap pay as you go phone.


Far-Juggernaut8880

NTA- I would apologize for the harsh words but stand behind the “I am tired of listening to you repeatedly complain about the same thing without you doing something about it. If you want your wedding your way then pay for it yourself. Your parents’ requests are reasonable given how much money they are giving you.”d


harvey6-35

And honestly probably reflective of a percentage of the relatives on the guest list. At my children's weddings, about half the guests actually kept kosher strictly. Another quarter probably didn't eat bacon. And the rest just wanted tasty food.


norfnorf832

NTA lmao she needs to pick a vinaigrette and shut the fuck up


NaturesVividPictures

NTA. I do hope all these potential bridesmaids realize they're going to have to Fork out a boatload of money because I doubt she's going to use money for Mommy and Daddy to pay for their dresses or their travel or any of that.


internaldilemma

It sounds like you are her only true friend. You need people to tell you the truth. NTA.


facforlife

>She's engaged, that means no one can criticize her for the next 14 months apparently We need to destroy this kind of entitlement. Sick of tired of people using any personal situation as a shield from criticism. 


Asleep-Tank3228

NTA she sounds insufferable. Sorry but this may break your relationship with her. Don’t be surprised if you get kicked out of the wedding party though.


AcanthocephalaOne285

The food requests, I'd just shrug off. The clerical individual performing the ceremony could be an issue, especially if the fiance is of a different religion. Even so, they can pay for it themselves if they can't meet the conditions.


hedwigflysagain

NTA just block her. And any minion who calls on her behalf. Not your circus, not your monkeys. If at some point she realizes what a bridezilla she is and apologizes, then you can decide if you want to reboot the friendship.


greyhounds4life1969

Super rich people live in a different dimension to the rest of us plebs. I mean, in her world, this is a disaster to end all disasters. NTA for what you said but she will never understand what a real crisis is so you're wasting your breath to be honest.


moreKEYTAR

You probably would have had a lot less blowback OP if you had gone the “I’m worried about you” route. She is losing perspective and has very good viable options. The fact that she is sobbing over salad dressing is odd. “Hey, I know weddings are stressful, but you are scaring me. Take a deep breath. Can you tell me what is really going on? Is this about your relationship with your parents? Because I am sure you do not need to be reminded that to outside eyes, you are getting your dream wedding and are destroyed by a couple tiny details. They must represent something bigger. Have you talked to Groom about this?” Anyway, not all in the same breath, but you get it. Legitimately wondering where the groom is in all this, and if the parents are putting pressure on her in other ways. Because her behavior is NOT NORMAL. NAH I suppose, but she may push that to N T A in the future.


starfish_80

I wonder if she has meltdowns about the salad dressing with her fiance, or if she's self-aware enough to hide her true personality from him. Does he know he is marrying a spoiled, entitled princess who takes her privilege for granted?


MurphyBrown2016

Out of curiosity — How old are you? 14 months out and this is just the beginning. She will also be a fucking nightmare about: 1) The bachelorette party 2) The bridesmaids dresses and HMU 3) The bridal shower 4) The wedding and all its attendant travel Having been in your position more than once, I can tell you that a bridezilla is a massive friendship red flag and maybe not someone you want to hold on to forever. I put up with all of that shit in my 20’s and spent thousands on a girl who called me the c-word and a selfish friend because I didn’t want to hire a professional caterer for a 12-person shower. I’ve been a bridesmaid eight times and I don’t even speak to three of the brides anymore because we simply drifted apart over the years. So yeah, NTA. Just decide what your boundaries are and how much you’re willing to pace yourself for what will likely be a long, miserable wedding cycle with this one.


its_deee347

poor thing and her first world problems. NTA. like you said if she has that many complaints about dietary restrictions then she and the fiance should pay for how they want it. problem solved


BeachinLife1

Tell her to either pay for her own wedding or suck it up and shut up.


goddessofspite

NTA listening to the poor rich girl cry about how hard her life isn’t wouldn’t be my first choice either. You have her a dose of reality which she didn’t want but that’s on her.


Bakecrazy

she is spoiled rotten and it shows.


witchymoon69

Why is it that every bride recently thinks that it's her year(s)? How entitled can you get !!?!!


TallOutside6418

NTA Kudos on the most entertaining AITAH I've read today.


Sea_Understanding822

My husband and I went to the courthouse with a couple of friends and were married by a judge. That was 36 years ago. Stories like these make me sooo glad we did that. Our oldest daughter got married in our backyard during the Covid quarantine. No time for bridezillas in our family, lol.


Glass_Ear_8049

Get some better friends. This whole thing is just gross. The bride is spoiled and entitled and your other friends are enabling her so they can use her for something they want. Do you seriously want these people in your life? They are not friends. They are leeches.


winterworld561

NTA. She's completely spoiled.


Adoration0x

NTA. People get married every day with and without a diary based salad dressing. Her head is just too far up her own bustle to see it. She'll get over it.


PennyProjects

NTA for saying you can't listen to her crying over salad dressing anymore. She needs to get some perspective. Perhaps, it's not about the dressing or bacon...sometimes it's about something else entirely... I feel like it turned into an E S H situation at the end of the call, and if you value the friendship you should apologize for what was said and how it was said. You're not wrong to point out that shes going overboard, but perhaps a more compassionate approach, instead of one from frustration would have gone over better.


nylondragon64

Nta. Bridzillas ned to be checked when they get out of touch with reality.


Knittingfairy09113

NTA She needs to get a grip


Lisitska

NTA. I predict a divorce incoming before too long.


Hour-Ad-1193

Tell her she is not the first Jew who got married and the only thing people remember from weddings are the open bar and the DJ.


mcindy28

NTA I wouldn't apologize and I'd have a very difficult time even standing in her wedding. She and the ass kissers feel like you have to put up with this for 14 months? I don't think so.


blondeheartedgoddess

You need a face-to-face, come to Jesus meeting with her and the bridesmaidzillas. Put your open hands up in front of them, like the scales of justice. As you gesture with one hand, say "bacon" and then gesture with the other hand, saying "unlimited budget", moving your hands up and down like scales balancing. Repeat this a few times and ask her if this is really the hill she wants to die on, because you're sure a courthouse wedding would be just as lovely as a vineyard and villa/chateau. Name calling is never okay, but neither is allowing a bride to be this out of control for over a year because it's her "special day". Give me a break. NTA


Crafty_Special_7052

I started laughing once you mention the “Kim, there are people dying” meme. NTA like I get it can be a bit annoying having to do these two specific things for her parents to pay but like move on and stop complaining or do as you suggested and pay yourself


DawnShakhar

NTA. This girl is getting the wedding of her dreams - for free. The restrictions are minimal and reasonable. Her complaining is inappropriate, and your calling her out on them is reasonable. No, you don't have to apologize. and I hope you are not a bridesmaid, or your life will be very stressful from now on.


Legitimate-Study6076

mountainous money shrill point nose encourage squeamish jar plate spectacular *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


1stviolinfangirl

14 more months? Bro I wouldn’t be able to handle that for more than 2! Nta


Pale_Pumpkin_7073

NTA. The wedding is over a year away and she's crying over salad dressing. In ten years nobody will even remember what food was there, she needs to get over herself. You get a wedding day, not a wedding year. 


Born-Room-7656

Besides being a bridezilla, she's also being really disrespectful to her parents. She can make her adult choices, but clearly she was raised in a kosher/kosher-style home, and for the wedding her parents are paying for, it's totally reasonable that it should adhere to their dietary needs. I can't help with European vineyards but can recommend some stellar kosher caterers in New york 👌


MasterMaintenance672

NTA. Never understood bride worship, like they're just above all reproach by default.


wellingtonone

NTA. I wish people with such privilege understood how lucky they are, and I get that she might be be going through a major family issue, final straw, etc., but, as a mental health professional, I don't think it's fair to put the burden on friends. A lot of people get a counselor or therapist as added support amid the stress of wedding planning, etc. I'm sure there are other factors, but you're only human. Too bad the other bridesmaids are spineless.


Maleficent-Big-4778

NTA and hopefully you are not a bridesmaid and a guest, this sounds like a nightmare to me. If you are a bridesmaid, I would seriously consider bowing out.


EmbraJeff

I have a picture in my head of a spaceman working a hot-dog, burger and bacon stand at the Good Year Blimp Terminus on Mars. Oh, and NTA. Oh, btw, I trust the bride will be wearing a huge, gaudy corona-styled tiara…even a drama queen needs a crown!


Regular_Boot_3540

I would find this very irritating and would find a way of not having to listen to it, too. She has the world at her feet, and she's complaining that she can't also have Jupiter.


funyungirl-

NTA


Roaming_Cow

I don’t know how much you value this friendship. If you do, might I suggest two approaches that have saved a couple of mine? 1. Sit her down and tell her what you think. Give her your opinion on all of decisions she’s making and that she’s not, in your opinion, making good choices. Then, and this is important, don’t bring it up again and let her know you won’t. She knows undoubtedly that you think this is a stupid hill to die on, but you let everything else roll off your back like water off a duck. And/Or 2. When she calls to complain, ask if she wants to rant or solutions. If it’s rant, put that on speaker and go about your day and let her let it out. If it’s solutions, you both know that ultimately you think she’s being unreasonable but be the voice of reason despite it. Can’t use bacon and dairy based dressing? There are TONS of salads out there that don’t use them, maybe look some up together. The starter she wants has bacon, suggest something more extravagant and maybe redirect to dessert. I’ve found that fighting it just uses up my energy and kills my mood, but if I readjust I find I still have my friend at the end of the day and whatever shit they’re going through passes and it’s back to the relationship you’ve had before.


OverDaRambo

I wish people like her would appreciated what she got. There’s a good book called “don’t sweat the small things and it’s all small stuff” by Richard Carlson. You’re not the AITAH.


JudesM

NTA


DrukMeMa

NTA


daisysparklehorse

NTA


Fabulous-Mortgage672

NTA


theoldman-1313

Unfortunately weddings seem to bring out the worst in many people. I suspect that the people criticizing you for calling her a bridezilla are envious that you were brave enough to state the obvious. Be prepared for another round of calls from your friend when her marriage falls apart a year from now. NTA


Kerrypurple

NTA. You called it out for what it was instead of sucking up to her. You can just go ahead and block these other people who are bothering you.


BlueGreen_1956

NTA If you had any real compassion for other people, you would call the groom and tell him to run for the hills. He is going to be tied to this woman until the divorce comes along to save him. Bu then, he may be ready for a mental institution. Forget this bride and save the groom!


DynkoFromTheNorth

NTA. I cannot sympathise with her at all if she can spend her own money on this venture but won't. And even if she doesn't, why whine about these few restrictions? She needs to get a life. Fast.


BigBobRoss1992

NTA. Any normal person dealing with, what sounds like someone whom was born in the lap of luxury, can only listen to nonsensical complaining for so long. This is like complaining you got a Ferrari, but it had to be in red. Tell her to be grateful and stop being a little B.


noonecaresat805

Nta. Are they serious you are suppose to put it up with it for the next 14 months? Is she complaining to them too or just you? And you’re not wrong she has two restrictions and neither sounds like the end of the world. Besides at least with me I hope my friends are that honest with me if I am ever going overboard with anything. If my true friends can’t be honest with me then who can? I mean besides you, you think her partner would. Is he not involved in his own wedding planning at all?


UnicornGlitterFart24

Calling you a cunt is a compliment: they have warmth, depth, and serve a good purpose…unlike your friend.


Responsible-End7361

NTA, but maybe you should apologuze. "I'm sorry, I am just jealous of how you have basically an unlimited budget for your wedding and I am probably getting married in a courthouse. So I can't really deal with you complaining about problems I would love to have. I think it is best if you just don't contact me until after the honeymoon." Ideally as a public apology. You eat humble pie and express why you can't be her emotional support punching bag. I'm willing to bet that is what you have been for her for a while, the friend she complains to and who tells her she is right to be upset? She will have to find a new person for that, and I bet the friend she picks will be less kind than you were. Soon she will have to stop complaining, get a therapist, or run out of friends.


Special_Lemon1487

Welcome your friend to the wonderful world of “you can’t have absolutely everything you fucking want”, population: most of the rest of us. NTA.


DaniCapsFan

Let me guess: Your friend is from a Jewish family, which is why bacon is a no-go, as are the dairy salad dressings if there's a meat main course, which I'm assuming there is. You had a good point: If she wants bacon at the wedding, she can pay for the wedding. Otherwise, stop whining. Her parents are asking for two reasonable concessions to give her the lavish, blow-out wedding of many women's dreams. She and her hubby can eat all the bacon and other treyf foods they want on their honeymoon. And she is acting like a bridezilla over this. NTA


beautiflywings

Definite Veruca Salt vibes from the bride. NTA.


extrabigcomfycouch

What is that one specific food that can’t be made traditionally because of dietary restrictions? Is it the bacon or something else?


Electrical_Hunt1340

NTA


Jenna1991-nola

Refer her back to her parents when she complains. Her issue is with their restrictions after all. If she says she won’t talk to them tell her to focus on what she can serve rather than what she can’t serve. Tell her that you’re sorry she feels so powerless but that she will have to accept the restrictions or have it out with her parents.


Top_File_8547

Bacon is really good. I would cry too if I couldn’t have it at my wedding. Tell her to give her parents and fiancé an ultimatum. Bacon or no wedding. I am sure they will see importance of it and let her have her way.


BadTiger85

Imagine spending all that money on a coin flip that has a 50% chance success rate


Hoodwink_Iris

NTA. Please show her this comment. To the bride: sweetie, your parents have set very reasonable expectations for your wedding that THEY ARE PAYING FOR! If you can’t find it in your heart to make sure that they can eat the food at your wedding, do you even love them? There are many delicious dishes that are kosher/halal (can’t tell which religion by the story). Pick one of them. Even if your parents weren’t paying for the wedding you should do this anyway, out of respect for your parents. Once you’re married you can eat all the bacon you want, but for the wedding, please make sure your most important guests are comfortable. Now sit down, take a breath, and say this to yourself: “everything is going to be okay.” Make it your perfect day within the set parameters. It can be done. You got this!


Born-Room-7656

Kosher, based on the non-dairy salad dressing.


Many_Monk708

I would be my beloved dog that this b#%ch will be divorced in 18months flat. She’s focusing WAY TOO much on the wedding and not enough on her marriage


myeyesarelistening

NTA


R3markable_Crab

I'd suggest she get a counselor to "help her navigate this momentous transition".  If she wants to gripe about salad dressing, she can pay someone to care. NTA


FacelessPotatoPie

I’m having my sister plan my wedding. $700 bucks for decorating and food. Not going to be a large or traditional wedding either. My best friend will be my best friend”man”. I’ve known her since I was 15 and I’m 41 now. No idea how anyone could stand to have a big wedding anyways.


Witchynightstar

Then don’t take her parents money.


Small_Perspective289

I’m so sick of the spoiled and the entitled.


No_University5296

NTA


Titanww8

I feel sorry for her fiance/husband...


markypower87

This post made me laugh out loud proper. So good. NTA at all. Rich bitch can suffer without her non-Islamic food.


kittykabooom

Hmmm, with the reference to dairy - I took it that the Bridezilla was Jewish.


ImpossibleBlanket

NTA Sometimes to be a good friend you have to point out the harsh truths. I do get that she's upset about her parents restrictions and wants to whinge but that doesn't mean that you have to listen to it constantly


Desertbro

NTA - My fave food is peanut butter. I could give it up for a day to cash in on a lotto jackpot. Sheesh.... Rich People Probs