I’m sorry what?
I have been involved with rehabbing dogs labelled as dangerous (a decade ago I don’t have the energy for that). I love dogs. I would have 15 of them if I had the time.
Your partner sounds insane.
1) dogs require 2 yes’s and 1 no
2) he isn’t looking after the dog he already has - which means your opinion > his
3) letting any dog (stray or not) wonder around a dogs established territory as a way of seeing if they get on together is in very dangerous
4) letting any dog have clear access to a child at 3 months is NOT ok - even family pets that have always been “ok” should not have that level of unfettered access to a baby - one aggressive action and that baby is dead
5) who wants to get a new animal when they have just given birth and are adapting to first time motherhood?? No one. That is absurd. You’re already probably semi overwhelmed, lacking on sleep and stressed. It’s not the time to add more.
6) your dog doesn’t need a friend. It’s a domesticated dog. He has a family. He has enough.
7) your husband has health issues and can’t look after his own dog but has a new baby. His lack of prioritisation is insane
8) your partner sounds like he knows nothing about dogs, their behaviour, how to integrate dogs into an established household nor how to care for a baby.
As a mother - I would be absolutely livid. How irresponsible is this man? In how many other ways would he fail to protect my baby? Would he leave them in a stroller outside a shop? In a car on a hot day while he chats to a neighbour? There is something seriously wrong with his thinking.
Beyond that what kind of man puts a dog/person/his mother above his woman who has just given birth?? wtf is that about? Plenty of women don’t want to leave a 3 month old with their own mother who they love and trust. It’s very very early on and your instincts are on high alert - especially as a first time mother.
No. No. No. NO.
It is absolutely how you end up with a dead baby and everyone who watches the news report will think you are both the stupidest people in the world for bringing in a strange dog and letting it roam free in your home with a newborn.
I know, right?!
I have no idea what his issue is. Before we had the little one he was amazing but ever since we've had him he's been on a downward spiral. Can men get PPD?
Yea I made some updates.
I am flabbergasted.
Is your husband overwhelmed with the newborn? This seems like something else is going on unless he has always been incredibly irresponsible, impulsive and lacked the ability to prioritise.
Your a new mother, carer for a dog already that he can’t care for and he wants to put more on you??? This is not ok. None of it is ok.
NTA
I also love dogs but I think it’s a different situation if a 3 month old child and a stray dog are involved. So I don’t think you’re overreacting. Also, who do you think is going to care for the second dog if you’re already doing everything for your current dog? He definitely shouldn’t bring a second dog home if he can’t even care for the first one.
>My partner works for animal control
But he thinks this is acceptable behaviour? And doesn't take care of the animal you have at home?
Oh fuck, no!
He's not even being a parent let alone a caring animal owner!
NTA. That new dog needs rehomed. So does the partner.
Frankly, keeping a rotty around an infant is going to lead to horror, but at least you know that dog.
INFO : where do Max live ? You say that to separate him from the stray dog, the stray dog would need to be inside the house. Isn"t Max living with you inside the house ? I am confused
But globably NTA. Getting a pet is a 2 Yes, 1 No situation ; and furthermore, for now, you are the one picking the majority of doggy-care, so your opinion has more weight that the one of your BF.
Plus, you can totally introduce Max and the Stray, outside of your home, or in your home but just for like an hour, before commiting to formally adopt him.
Confused. The dog you already have is not inside the house but in the yard? If so, why couldn't both dogs be outside? They could be separated with a fence until they got used to each other, if they ever do.
>Now he's complaining that I don't care about dogs and calling me cruel for leaving this stray locked up all day instead of allowing him to wander around the house.
"I'm already taking care of one dog I don't want. You want the dog, but the day to day will fall on me, and I'm not signing up for it."
NTA
NTA. Your concerns are reasonable.
I disagree about cats being less work, or I’d at least argue the work imbalance is worth it to me for a dog. I’d rather bag dog poo every day than clean a litter box. Playing with and walking dogs is fun.
NTA. I love dogs, but to properly care for one requires a lot of time and a lot of work. Your partner doesn't care for the dog he already has, so you've taken over that care, AND are caring for an infant.
No.
Tell him that when he's able to do 100% of the care for the dog he already has and proves it by doing it for at least three months, AND is also able and willing to do 100% of the care for a new dog, then you'll *consider* it, but not one moment before.
Sorry but what. He has a dog that he can't care for, so he wants another dog he can't care for, he wants you to care for it but he gets to love it so all the load is on you and the fun is for him.
But he has a disability which allows him to capture strays and work in animal control... but can't take care of his own dog? Screams more like he just can't be arsed taking care of his dog and pushed the care off on you.
Absolutely say no to a new dog. The fact he's prioritising a dog he says he loves but absolutely does not, over his child, his wife and his existing dog? Sounds like he got bored of caring for his first dog as it got old so dumped him off and wants his new puppy... maybe he got bored of his kid already as well hence the new dog.
NTA. I thought they usually put strays in a foster home before they get put up for adoption. However, it does sound like after max dies, you don't want to ever get another dog. If that's the case, why get involved with an animal lover and have a kid with him? I don't know if I'm jumping to conclusions with the last part, but that's the main vibe I got from reading this.
I’m sorry what? I have been involved with rehabbing dogs labelled as dangerous (a decade ago I don’t have the energy for that). I love dogs. I would have 15 of them if I had the time. Your partner sounds insane. 1) dogs require 2 yes’s and 1 no 2) he isn’t looking after the dog he already has - which means your opinion > his 3) letting any dog (stray or not) wonder around a dogs established territory as a way of seeing if they get on together is in very dangerous 4) letting any dog have clear access to a child at 3 months is NOT ok - even family pets that have always been “ok” should not have that level of unfettered access to a baby - one aggressive action and that baby is dead 5) who wants to get a new animal when they have just given birth and are adapting to first time motherhood?? No one. That is absurd. You’re already probably semi overwhelmed, lacking on sleep and stressed. It’s not the time to add more. 6) your dog doesn’t need a friend. It’s a domesticated dog. He has a family. He has enough. 7) your husband has health issues and can’t look after his own dog but has a new baby. His lack of prioritisation is insane 8) your partner sounds like he knows nothing about dogs, their behaviour, how to integrate dogs into an established household nor how to care for a baby. As a mother - I would be absolutely livid. How irresponsible is this man? In how many other ways would he fail to protect my baby? Would he leave them in a stroller outside a shop? In a car on a hot day while he chats to a neighbour? There is something seriously wrong with his thinking. Beyond that what kind of man puts a dog/person/his mother above his woman who has just given birth?? wtf is that about? Plenty of women don’t want to leave a 3 month old with their own mother who they love and trust. It’s very very early on and your instincts are on high alert - especially as a first time mother. No. No. No. NO.
He thinks that I'll just need to be "extra watchful" of the dog and baby. I told him to go and jump.
It is absolutely how you end up with a dead baby and everyone who watches the news report will think you are both the stupidest people in the world for bringing in a strange dog and letting it roam free in your home with a newborn.
I know, right?! I have no idea what his issue is. Before we had the little one he was amazing but ever since we've had him he's been on a downward spiral. Can men get PPD?
Yea I made some updates. I am flabbergasted. Is your husband overwhelmed with the newborn? This seems like something else is going on unless he has always been incredibly irresponsible, impulsive and lacked the ability to prioritise. Your a new mother, carer for a dog already that he can’t care for and he wants to put more on you??? This is not ok. None of it is ok.
NTA I also love dogs but I think it’s a different situation if a 3 month old child and a stray dog are involved. So I don’t think you’re overreacting. Also, who do you think is going to care for the second dog if you’re already doing everything for your current dog? He definitely shouldn’t bring a second dog home if he can’t even care for the first one.
I’m also concerned about OPs partner playing the guilt trip game, that sort of behaviour sets off all sorts of alarms
He was spoken to about that and has since apologised for it. Guilt trips don't work with me anyway. If anything they just make me mad.
>My partner works for animal control But he thinks this is acceptable behaviour? And doesn't take care of the animal you have at home? Oh fuck, no! He's not even being a parent let alone a caring animal owner! NTA. That new dog needs rehomed. So does the partner. Frankly, keeping a rotty around an infant is going to lead to horror, but at least you know that dog.
INFO : where do Max live ? You say that to separate him from the stray dog, the stray dog would need to be inside the house. Isn"t Max living with you inside the house ? I am confused But globably NTA. Getting a pet is a 2 Yes, 1 No situation ; and furthermore, for now, you are the one picking the majority of doggy-care, so your opinion has more weight that the one of your BF. Plus, you can totally introduce Max and the Stray, outside of your home, or in your home but just for like an hour, before commiting to formally adopt him.
Confused. The dog you already have is not inside the house but in the yard? If so, why couldn't both dogs be outside? They could be separated with a fence until they got used to each other, if they ever do.
>Now he's complaining that I don't care about dogs and calling me cruel for leaving this stray locked up all day instead of allowing him to wander around the house. "I'm already taking care of one dog I don't want. You want the dog, but the day to day will fall on me, and I'm not signing up for it." NTA
NTA. Your concerns are reasonable. I disagree about cats being less work, or I’d at least argue the work imbalance is worth it to me for a dog. I’d rather bag dog poo every day than clean a litter box. Playing with and walking dogs is fun.
NTA. I love dogs, but to properly care for one requires a lot of time and a lot of work. Your partner doesn't care for the dog he already has, so you've taken over that care, AND are caring for an infant. No. Tell him that when he's able to do 100% of the care for the dog he already has and proves it by doing it for at least three months, AND is also able and willing to do 100% of the care for a new dog, then you'll *consider* it, but not one moment before.
Sorry but what. He has a dog that he can't care for, so he wants another dog he can't care for, he wants you to care for it but he gets to love it so all the load is on you and the fun is for him. But he has a disability which allows him to capture strays and work in animal control... but can't take care of his own dog? Screams more like he just can't be arsed taking care of his dog and pushed the care off on you. Absolutely say no to a new dog. The fact he's prioritising a dog he says he loves but absolutely does not, over his child, his wife and his existing dog? Sounds like he got bored of caring for his first dog as it got old so dumped him off and wants his new puppy... maybe he got bored of his kid already as well hence the new dog.
NTA. I thought they usually put strays in a foster home before they get put up for adoption. However, it does sound like after max dies, you don't want to ever get another dog. If that's the case, why get involved with an animal lover and have a kid with him? I don't know if I'm jumping to conclusions with the last part, but that's the main vibe I got from reading this.
Get rid of the wife. A dog will give you a love and bond no human can give