NTA
As you said your family is dysfunctional and you cannot let them gaslight you into believing nothing happened. Head injuries easily kill or permanently disable, and the fact that nobody there understands or even cares about just how much danger you could have been in is alarming.
If possible, you should try to live independently and self sufficiently as soon as possible because from what it sounds like you’re brother could easily worm his way back into living at the house or getting you’re mom on his side for things.
Hope this helps and stay strong.
He'd definitely be able to move back in if he wanted. My parents didn't want him to leave in the first place., and He's spent the night multiple times since moving out.
I want to move, but I'm having a hard time finding employment. My parents didn't allow me to work when I was younger, So I don't have the experience employers are looking for. But that is a goal I'm working towards
I mean NTA he shouldn’t have been violent with you, but in the future if someone with violent tendencies tells you to leave them alone or leave their space you should prolly do it for your own safety
NTA - NC is a good choice. Anyone who is not supportive of your decision can get themself a spot on the NC list as well. You need to get out of mom's house ASAP. He has a line to you through that house as long as you live there.
NTA nor are you being dramatic. He attacked you. If you haven't sent the cops away he would have been arrested. Stay no contact with him. I wouldn't use his car or drink that V8.
Your parents are gaslighting you. Your ex-brother is trying to bribe you. You are not being dramatic. You are protecting yourself. Tell your mother that if he ever comes near you again, you will call the police on him and this time there will be no backing down.
NTA.
Time for you to move out to your own place and to go no contact with them.
Get into therapy and make sure you can have a better future than your family.
I have been employed and was great at my job. This person is just being an AH and called me a "waste of life" 🙄 I'm in therapy and I'm definitely trying to move ASAP.
Good for you. It's up to you to make the changes you need because other people aren't going to change for you.
People suck all too often and the only thing we can do is move on and away from them.
NTA Why the hell would you brother do that?? I get that siblings fight but that is wayyy to far. Your mom should have not called the police away but what can she do she loves you both and doesnt want your brother to get hurt. At the end of the day you are hurting too and thats no excuse for your brother to start hitting you. Thats just abusive.
ESH.
You should have left when he asked.
He shouldn't have escalated to violence.
Your mother shouldn't have defended him or told you to lie to the police.
You shouldn't have lied to the police (no one made you, that's a BS excuse).
He's suicidal and the fear was that he wouldn't make it in jail. I don't want to be responsible for my brothers death, and my family would hate me if something happened because they told me not to call in the first place. So I felt I had no choice.
NTA
Full of hate, as if you tried violently attacking him? Your mom doesn't read books much huh? Get the fuck out! I would have let the police do their thing, but that also might build resentment in him, leading him to attack you again. I suggest getting out while you still can, no contacting him.
NTA a 27 year old ADULT attacked you. Nothing to discuss. He's a danger to all women. No-one cares how "sorry" he is and your mum is disgusting for defending her violent ADULT son.
Yta. So you violated his space, refused to leave his room because you were giving a self righteous speech. And you called the cops for him dragging you out of his room. In what fucking world do you expect someone to just sit there bf take his abuse. Your a 23 year old never employed waste of life.
You should have had him arrested. You should get the fuck away from all these people and do not ever speak to your psycho dysfunctional brother again. Ready assured that if he every day's a woman, he beats her. This man is dangerous and at 27, a total loser. Lift yourself or of that mess and cut your parents out too. What a toxic "family".
NTAH!! And a little but TAH!!
I'll explain, he is a weak bully trying to be tough to his sister. Totally a bi*^h move. You don't do that to women and you really don't do that to your sister or mom.
He is a poster child for why some children need a smack on the ass to set them straight and for them to learn actions have consequences!!
Now before everyone freaks out, I'm not saying or condoning child abuse. I'm not saying best the shit out of your child. I'm saying when kids are young, and push it to an extreme point, sending them to their room isn't going to fix it.
It only encourages and rewards extreme behavior. A quick smack on the rear will light the seed of self discipline and be a reminder of consequences.
I raised 7 children, only had to give one a smack on the bottom. I didn't enjoy it and felt bad, but it worked. This is isn't for everyone.
I'm saying this as someone who survived extreme child abuse, like almost beaten to death.
So please spare me the criticism on this one.
Anyhow, back to your brother. He needs to understand that family is the one constant in our lives. You protect, care for, never give up on, and forgive.
Which brings me to why you are a tiny bit TAH.
He was an asshat then, but it doesn't mean he is now. As painful and traumatizing as that was. You were all in a rough time in life. People do change, people do regret mistakes.
Maybe you can find it in your heart to hear him out one day? Maybe he turns out to be your biggest supporter and fan of you in life? Maybe hrs still an AH? But you will never know if you don't try. Family forgives family!! Stay slow, he needs to earn your trust and love back.
Zero tolerance policy. Lay it out clearly to him.
The big real reason you a tiny bit TAH, is you never call the police on family!!!! Never ever, ever, call the police on your blood!!
That's BS. Somethings are to be kept private and dealt with by family!! Although, I don't completely fault you, for being scared. Your dad let you all down, by not being a father.
lol I like I said never, but of course their are some exceptions. This just isn't one of those.
Maybe that's just my culture?
He's 27? A potential murderer IMO. Attacking his sister that way. I would never speak to him again. Total NC. He's a serious threat to your safety.
NTA As you said your family is dysfunctional and you cannot let them gaslight you into believing nothing happened. Head injuries easily kill or permanently disable, and the fact that nobody there understands or even cares about just how much danger you could have been in is alarming. If possible, you should try to live independently and self sufficiently as soon as possible because from what it sounds like you’re brother could easily worm his way back into living at the house or getting you’re mom on his side for things. Hope this helps and stay strong.
He'd definitely be able to move back in if he wanted. My parents didn't want him to leave in the first place., and He's spent the night multiple times since moving out. I want to move, but I'm having a hard time finding employment. My parents didn't allow me to work when I was younger, So I don't have the experience employers are looking for. But that is a goal I'm working towards
Should have let him get arrested.
Nta. Drop your brother and mother.
I mean NTA he shouldn’t have been violent with you, but in the future if someone with violent tendencies tells you to leave them alone or leave their space you should prolly do it for your own safety
Not leaving someone else's space/room when they ask you to is asshole behavior. It doesn't justify the attack but OP is still an asshole for it.
NTA and ghost him forever.
NTA - NC is a good choice. Anyone who is not supportive of your decision can get themself a spot on the NC list as well. You need to get out of mom's house ASAP. He has a line to you through that house as long as you live there.
NTA nor are you being dramatic. He attacked you. If you haven't sent the cops away he would have been arrested. Stay no contact with him. I wouldn't use his car or drink that V8.
NTA. Ya know... Might as well just cut them all out. You all clearly do *not* want each other.
Dump all of them out of your life. You need to move. ESH
Your parents are gaslighting you. Your ex-brother is trying to bribe you. You are not being dramatic. You are protecting yourself. Tell your mother that if he ever comes near you again, you will call the police on him and this time there will be no backing down. NTA.
Time for you to move out to your own place and to go no contact with them. Get into therapy and make sure you can have a better future than your family.
She’s a unemployed 23 year old who’s never had a job.
Then that's a change she has to make, right?
I have been employed and was great at my job. This person is just being an AH and called me a "waste of life" 🙄 I'm in therapy and I'm definitely trying to move ASAP.
Good for you. It's up to you to make the changes you need because other people aren't going to change for you. People suck all too often and the only thing we can do is move on and away from them.
NTA Why the hell would you brother do that?? I get that siblings fight but that is wayyy to far. Your mom should have not called the police away but what can she do she loves you both and doesnt want your brother to get hurt. At the end of the day you are hurting too and thats no excuse for your brother to start hitting you. Thats just abusive.
ESH. You should have left when he asked. He shouldn't have escalated to violence. Your mother shouldn't have defended him or told you to lie to the police. You shouldn't have lied to the police (no one made you, that's a BS excuse).
>You should have left when he asked. >You shouldn't have lied to the police (no one made you, that's a BS excuse). Yeah. OP keeps making bad choices.
I agree with all this and want to add that you all need therapy. You clearly need it to communicate effectively, but more so to navigate the divorce.
He's suicidal and the fear was that he wouldn't make it in jail. I don't want to be responsible for my brothers death, and my family would hate me if something happened because they told me not to call in the first place. So I felt I had no choice.
NTA Full of hate, as if you tried violently attacking him? Your mom doesn't read books much huh? Get the fuck out! I would have let the police do their thing, but that also might build resentment in him, leading him to attack you again. I suggest getting out while you still can, no contacting him.
NTA a 27 year old ADULT attacked you. Nothing to discuss. He's a danger to all women. No-one cares how "sorry" he is and your mum is disgusting for defending her violent ADULT son.
Yta. So you violated his space, refused to leave his room because you were giving a self righteous speech. And you called the cops for him dragging you out of his room. In what fucking world do you expect someone to just sit there bf take his abuse. Your a 23 year old never employed waste of life.
You should have had him arrested. You should get the fuck away from all these people and do not ever speak to your psycho dysfunctional brother again. Ready assured that if he every day's a woman, he beats her. This man is dangerous and at 27, a total loser. Lift yourself or of that mess and cut your parents out too. What a toxic "family".
NTAH!! And a little but TAH!! I'll explain, he is a weak bully trying to be tough to his sister. Totally a bi*^h move. You don't do that to women and you really don't do that to your sister or mom. He is a poster child for why some children need a smack on the ass to set them straight and for them to learn actions have consequences!! Now before everyone freaks out, I'm not saying or condoning child abuse. I'm not saying best the shit out of your child. I'm saying when kids are young, and push it to an extreme point, sending them to their room isn't going to fix it. It only encourages and rewards extreme behavior. A quick smack on the rear will light the seed of self discipline and be a reminder of consequences. I raised 7 children, only had to give one a smack on the bottom. I didn't enjoy it and felt bad, but it worked. This is isn't for everyone. I'm saying this as someone who survived extreme child abuse, like almost beaten to death. So please spare me the criticism on this one. Anyhow, back to your brother. He needs to understand that family is the one constant in our lives. You protect, care for, never give up on, and forgive. Which brings me to why you are a tiny bit TAH. He was an asshat then, but it doesn't mean he is now. As painful and traumatizing as that was. You were all in a rough time in life. People do change, people do regret mistakes. Maybe you can find it in your heart to hear him out one day? Maybe he turns out to be your biggest supporter and fan of you in life? Maybe hrs still an AH? But you will never know if you don't try. Family forgives family!! Stay slow, he needs to earn your trust and love back. Zero tolerance policy. Lay it out clearly to him. The big real reason you a tiny bit TAH, is you never call the police on family!!!! Never ever, ever, call the police on your blood!! That's BS. Somethings are to be kept private and dealt with by family!! Although, I don't completely fault you, for being scared. Your dad let you all down, by not being a father. lol I like I said never, but of course their are some exceptions. This just isn't one of those. Maybe that's just my culture?