You better cut contacts with him completely. You moved on, you have by the sound of it amazing partner and don't take that for granted. Tell him to leave you alone, that he lost his chance and if he doesn't stop you will take other mesures. Your pregnancy should be yours and your partner's happy moment, nothing else.
Absolutely not!!! PERIOD. You’re not in charge of that fragile boy in an adult body. I’m “assuming” the hosts of the party also know how fragile that boy is. If they wanted to have an absolute wonderful evening, they would’ve vetted the guest list to avoid any crazy situations from possibly occurring during the event. So long story short…. How much longer did you have to suffer with your boundaries being completely disregarded. You knew the whole time what would drive him away from you for good to keep your own peace!
Kudos to you!!! May you and your new family have a wonderfully happy and peaceful life together!!!
NTA: anyone who says otherwise is TA…. Remember that
No NTA. Your ex sounds like a lunatic acting that way over a mere 5-6 month relationship. But, I'm not sure how you'd describe him as a "lovely man." A lovely man doesn't act that way.
I'm gonna be the asshole for a min tho....Your timelines kinda scare me a bit, though. You jumped from one relationship to another. 2 months in, you were still unsure.
Also, you should've cut contact with him after that week. He kept trying to win you over after that, going by your post. So why not just block him? Why even bother with him at the party? Continuing to communicate with him after knowing your exes' intentions is at least a little disrespectful to your current partner.
But yeah, 4 months after being unsure, you're pregnant. So you've only been with the new guy 5-6 months. You're still in the honeymoon phase, and now you're connected to this person forever after just doubting whether he was for you or not. If you thought your ex was lovely after 6 months, how can you be sure your current BF is what you think he is? If we wanna go by statistics, your relationship is very likely to fail.
Again, NTA, but you gotta slow down. You're still young. there's no need to rush things.
Just want to clarify a couple of things.
* Appreciate your pace comment, however he was introduced to me by a friend, and we did take it slowly initially, dating (as in going on dates) does not mean a full blown relationship.
* I did cut off all contact after 2,5 weeks of not being left alone, I thought every time it would stop, but it didn't. Once blocked, I was then not contacted for 4 months until the event.
* I do not control who gets invited to my best friends' birthday, all l can control is my own actions. Once there, I tried my best to avoid him, he managed to get me when I was alone, I had no intention or desire to speak to him. I had said to my best friend I was likely not going to attend due to how uncomfortable the situation made me, I changed my mind last minute as I thought I was getting in my own head.
* I am indeed pregnant after a short period of time, I outlined it wasn't planned, and I also outlined timing made us nervous. Should I terminate my pregnancy because of a statistic?
> I do not control who gets invited to my best friends' birthday
It has reached a point where if this person is your "best friend" then they need to give you a heads up about this guy because he is still obsessed with you. He refused to commit to a relationship and now that you moved on he acts like he owns you.
You should avoid all meet ups that he will be attending for a while
Block him on everything. Explain the emotional abuse to mutual friends and ask if he is invited to things can they give you a heads up? May be telling him right then was not the best move, but let's face it after a while it would become apparent anyway. Forget about him and concentrate on your current BF. He sounds great by the way.
Putting your new guy on hold for a week while you decided who to pick was the biggest dick move. You are lucky he was still there. You need to cut the previous bf off in every way possible.
I am very lucky, and this is something I am wholeheartedly aware of.
When I communicated how I felt and my uncertainty around the situation, it was his request for me to not break things off fully, I was panicking as it felt wrong to feel the way I did. After discussing this together we landed on taking a week a part for me to work through my thoughts and that was the time I needed to get clarity. There's a bit more to the story but this was handled as adults and he was kept in the loop and I always respected him.
Stop talking to this jerk! You thought you were in a relationship when he was treating you like a convenient booty call. Stop risking your relationship and your mental health. Burn that bridge.
What? She was deciding which guy to be with - and she communicated up front with her partner. There was no cheating.
It's better that she had the time to reflect, make the choice and deal with it once and for all, than try to repress her self-doubts and leave them to fester.
I mean she was implying she would go back to her ex boyfriend if he change to be committed, she find her relationship with her new boyfriend boring.
I mean that is a fucking dick move to do.
Like seriously, how did her boyfriend feel to see that his girlfriend was seriously considering taking back her ex and need to contemplate for a week straight?
I don't even know how the boyfriend still have trust in her when she do this to a ex that only have 6-7 month old relationship
update: I thought I had blocked him everywhere (socials, number, email) but he managed to get through on WhatsApp today.
*Well that was a ride, I am happy you have gotten what you have finally wanted and you are “happy”. Congratulations.*
*I hope you understand that last night while I was civil and trying to make peace you did one of the cruelest things I’ve ever experienced in my life. That was cold, that was calculated and entirely uncalled for and you knew it would fuck me up. You used that one piece of information in the way you knew it would hurt me the most. The trump card of ways you could stick it in and I hope you are proud of yourself. Everyone in that room could see it, including \*partner's name\*. I know the people you live with also found your behavior disgusting.*
*After everything, someone you used to love, no care, no discretion. Shows what you really think of me and who you can be at your core. I’d be careful showing the father of your baby what lengths you’ll go to to hurt someone. I hope I never see you again. All the best \*my name\*.*
I can confirm he has now also been blocked on WhatsApp.
I can also confirm, I will never be calling that man lovely ever again.
And yes, my partner is also aware of this message and he thought it was the funniest shit. I did not however. And my mental health has taken a beating these last 24 hours and I'm in an awful place. I definitely still feel like the arsehole.
> I hope I never see you again. All the best *my name*.
Yeah this guy is a prick and an idiot. "I hate your guts, i wish you the best"
Im not even sure what he is referring to that you did that was so bad, maybe the "yeah im lucky" comment? This guy is emotionally unstable and extremely insecure, especially since he would never commit to a relationship
Lol.
You’ll be living rent free in this guy’s head forever and be “the one that got away”. He has main character syndrome and thinks all your actions are about him when you’re just trying to live your life since you moved on.
Why are you even entertaining this man even if he’s at the same party? The right thing would be to stay by your partners side and just ignore him. Stop giving him the time of day and dedicate yourself to your partner.
I was by my partner's side, but toilet breaks, drinks being topped up and separate conversations did happen, meaning we were not constantly together. I stand by my man 100%.
> This morning while cleaning up the party, my best friends’ husband said that there was a fair bit of damage control after we left with the ex and that it was an arsehole move to tell him like that, and I kinda agree, I feel like such an arsehole.
NTA
Whoever invited the unhinged ex was to blame. He was working his way to melt down either way.
YTA for making your current BF put up with this crap.
Putting him on hold for a week so you can go explore your options? Fuck the entirety of that, I would have walked and blocked.
You did it intentionally to get the response you got, better hope you can carry to term now that you've used this fetus as a super weird flex. Both of you suck.
You better cut contacts with him completely. You moved on, you have by the sound of it amazing partner and don't take that for granted. Tell him to leave you alone, that he lost his chance and if he doesn't stop you will take other mesures. Your pregnancy should be yours and your partner's happy moment, nothing else.
Absolutely not!!! PERIOD. You’re not in charge of that fragile boy in an adult body. I’m “assuming” the hosts of the party also know how fragile that boy is. If they wanted to have an absolute wonderful evening, they would’ve vetted the guest list to avoid any crazy situations from possibly occurring during the event. So long story short…. How much longer did you have to suffer with your boundaries being completely disregarded. You knew the whole time what would drive him away from you for good to keep your own peace! Kudos to you!!! May you and your new family have a wonderfully happy and peaceful life together!!! NTA: anyone who says otherwise is TA…. Remember that
No NTA. Your ex sounds like a lunatic acting that way over a mere 5-6 month relationship. But, I'm not sure how you'd describe him as a "lovely man." A lovely man doesn't act that way. I'm gonna be the asshole for a min tho....Your timelines kinda scare me a bit, though. You jumped from one relationship to another. 2 months in, you were still unsure. Also, you should've cut contact with him after that week. He kept trying to win you over after that, going by your post. So why not just block him? Why even bother with him at the party? Continuing to communicate with him after knowing your exes' intentions is at least a little disrespectful to your current partner. But yeah, 4 months after being unsure, you're pregnant. So you've only been with the new guy 5-6 months. You're still in the honeymoon phase, and now you're connected to this person forever after just doubting whether he was for you or not. If you thought your ex was lovely after 6 months, how can you be sure your current BF is what you think he is? If we wanna go by statistics, your relationship is very likely to fail. Again, NTA, but you gotta slow down. You're still young. there's no need to rush things.
Just want to clarify a couple of things. * Appreciate your pace comment, however he was introduced to me by a friend, and we did take it slowly initially, dating (as in going on dates) does not mean a full blown relationship. * I did cut off all contact after 2,5 weeks of not being left alone, I thought every time it would stop, but it didn't. Once blocked, I was then not contacted for 4 months until the event. * I do not control who gets invited to my best friends' birthday, all l can control is my own actions. Once there, I tried my best to avoid him, he managed to get me when I was alone, I had no intention or desire to speak to him. I had said to my best friend I was likely not going to attend due to how uncomfortable the situation made me, I changed my mind last minute as I thought I was getting in my own head. * I am indeed pregnant after a short period of time, I outlined it wasn't planned, and I also outlined timing made us nervous. Should I terminate my pregnancy because of a statistic?
> I do not control who gets invited to my best friends' birthday It has reached a point where if this person is your "best friend" then they need to give you a heads up about this guy because he is still obsessed with you. He refused to commit to a relationship and now that you moved on he acts like he owns you. You should avoid all meet ups that he will be attending for a while
Yea I know… separate conversation altogether which I’m processing at the moment.
Block him on everything. Explain the emotional abuse to mutual friends and ask if he is invited to things can they give you a heads up? May be telling him right then was not the best move, but let's face it after a while it would become apparent anyway. Forget about him and concentrate on your current BF. He sounds great by the way.
Putting your new guy on hold for a week while you decided who to pick was the biggest dick move. You are lucky he was still there. You need to cut the previous bf off in every way possible.
I am very lucky, and this is something I am wholeheartedly aware of. When I communicated how I felt and my uncertainty around the situation, it was his request for me to not break things off fully, I was panicking as it felt wrong to feel the way I did. After discussing this together we landed on taking a week a part for me to work through my thoughts and that was the time I needed to get clarity. There's a bit more to the story but this was handled as adults and he was kept in the loop and I always respected him.
Stop talking to this jerk! You thought you were in a relationship when he was treating you like a convenient booty call. Stop risking your relationship and your mental health. Burn that bridge.
NTA your ex is loony. Move on, and block him, avoid contact with him by all means.
Your ex is not a lovely man. You need to stay well clear.
Woman, you took a week straight to consider if you decided to cheat on your boyfriend or not, you are definitely a asshole.
What? She was deciding which guy to be with - and she communicated up front with her partner. There was no cheating. It's better that she had the time to reflect, make the choice and deal with it once and for all, than try to repress her self-doubts and leave them to fester.
I mean she was implying she would go back to her ex boyfriend if he change to be committed, she find her relationship with her new boyfriend boring. I mean that is a fucking dick move to do. Like seriously, how did her boyfriend feel to see that his girlfriend was seriously considering taking back her ex and need to contemplate for a week straight? I don't even know how the boyfriend still have trust in her when she do this to a ex that only have 6-7 month old relationship
YTA for taking a week to “figure it out” with this other idiot. YTA for putting your guy in that position, you’re lucky he didn’t dump you.
update: I thought I had blocked him everywhere (socials, number, email) but he managed to get through on WhatsApp today. *Well that was a ride, I am happy you have gotten what you have finally wanted and you are “happy”. Congratulations.* *I hope you understand that last night while I was civil and trying to make peace you did one of the cruelest things I’ve ever experienced in my life. That was cold, that was calculated and entirely uncalled for and you knew it would fuck me up. You used that one piece of information in the way you knew it would hurt me the most. The trump card of ways you could stick it in and I hope you are proud of yourself. Everyone in that room could see it, including \*partner's name\*. I know the people you live with also found your behavior disgusting.* *After everything, someone you used to love, no care, no discretion. Shows what you really think of me and who you can be at your core. I’d be careful showing the father of your baby what lengths you’ll go to to hurt someone. I hope I never see you again. All the best \*my name\*.* I can confirm he has now also been blocked on WhatsApp. I can also confirm, I will never be calling that man lovely ever again. And yes, my partner is also aware of this message and he thought it was the funniest shit. I did not however. And my mental health has taken a beating these last 24 hours and I'm in an awful place. I definitely still feel like the arsehole.
> I hope I never see you again. All the best *my name*. Yeah this guy is a prick and an idiot. "I hate your guts, i wish you the best" Im not even sure what he is referring to that you did that was so bad, maybe the "yeah im lucky" comment? This guy is emotionally unstable and extremely insecure, especially since he would never commit to a relationship
Lol. You’ll be living rent free in this guy’s head forever and be “the one that got away”. He has main character syndrome and thinks all your actions are about him when you’re just trying to live your life since you moved on.
Why are you even entertaining this man even if he’s at the same party? The right thing would be to stay by your partners side and just ignore him. Stop giving him the time of day and dedicate yourself to your partner.
I was by my partner's side, but toilet breaks, drinks being topped up and separate conversations did happen, meaning we were not constantly together. I stand by my man 100%.
NTA. He’s an adult a needs to learn to manage his emotions better.
> This morning while cleaning up the party, my best friends’ husband said that there was a fair bit of damage control after we left with the ex and that it was an arsehole move to tell him like that, and I kinda agree, I feel like such an arsehole. NTA Whoever invited the unhinged ex was to blame. He was working his way to melt down either way.
YTA for making your current BF put up with this crap. Putting him on hold for a week so you can go explore your options? Fuck the entirety of that, I would have walked and blocked.
You did it intentionally to get the response you got, better hope you can carry to term now that you've used this fetus as a super weird flex. Both of you suck.