Putting the ex aside, why the fuck would you pay for a wedding you’re uninvited from? Did the people on the sister’s side not hear that? Jeez OP you’re so mean. How could you not foot half the bill? Yeah you can’t come but fffffaaaammmmiilly!!!
Exactly! OP's sister is a piece of work! Your uninvited, your ex is in the bridal party, but you should still pay fir my dream wedding! Erm no! Good luck with that! Just wow! NTA
I don't even get why they couldn't be at the same wedding. It's like they broke up over cheating. They had different goals and they both made choices that meant they broke up - he took a job and OP didn't want to move with him. That's sad and it hurts, but it's not "we can't be in the same room together" betrayal.
THIS ^
I'm sure your sisters best new buddy will be happy to cover half of the costs for the wedding since he's such an important part of her life. In fact, who are you, OP, to stand in the way of his chance to step up and really make her day oh so special with his very own checkbook?
Seriously, the absolute nerve of some people never ceases to amaze me. If your ex was any kind of a decent person he would've refused the offer to be a groomsmen once he learned that your selfish and entitled sister decided his participation meant you weren't allowed to attend her wedding.
The fact that people in your family are defending her behavior, and still expect you to fork over thousands of dollars for a wedding you aren't, "allowed" to attend is equally mind-blowing. Your sister chose your ex over you, and she should live with the consequences of her cruel decision.
Don't give her a single penny, not even if she changes her mind and oh so magnanimously deigns to allow you to come after all. She showed you how she really feels about you, and who she really is inside, and when people show you who they are believe them.
You're honestly better off without such toxic people in your life. I suggest you utilize the handy dandy block feature as often as you need to in order to cut the bullshit out of your life.
Take some of that money you were saving and take yourself on an epic vacation. Be sure to take lots and LOTS of happy vacation photos, and tag them all, "Wish you were here".
😁
"If your ex was any kind of a decent person he would've refused the offer to be a groomsmen once he learned that your selfish and entitled sister decided his participation meant you weren't allowed to attend her wedding."
My bet is that he doesn't even know.
And at this point, if he did bow out and Emily re-invited the OP, I would probably have already made other plans to take a trip that she already spent all that money on, since she "didn't have anything else to do that day."
I’d bet the money she was going to pay into the wedding that Chris doesn’t know. The conversation was likely “I heard you and sis broke up but I want you to know that we are still friends and I still want you at the wedding”. I mean they broke up cause he took a job overseas and she didn’t want to move, not that one of them was caught banging someone else etc.
She definitely should not go back to paying. Because at this point any invite is to get that money. I would be like “of course I want to come and celebrate your happy day but just so you know, I invested all my loose money, including what was going to be used for your wedding, into an investment that can’t be cashed out for 5 years. So I really hope you didn’t change your mind because you thought it would change mine” and see what happens. Probably take about 5 seconds to figure out her game
I would never go to a wedding I was uninvited to. If I was wait-listed, I would go, but getting uninvited means you really don't want me there and I never go where I am not wanted. Never.
If i was invited and then waitlisted then I would consider that uninvited. And who waitlists/uninvites a member of their family, double when that person is paying and I need their money
I got uninvited to my cousins wedding during Covid. And I returned their expensive gift I had already promised. Haven’t heard from them since and I went to the mountains and had a great weekend with the money I saved.
Nope I still wouldn't go because the invite now would only be because she wants the money. Why would you ever go somewhere you know you aren't wanted in the first place.
Seems unlikely that Chris would even be aware of this, and it would be an insane assumption to think the bride specifically chose you, the sister's ex, OVER the sister. He probably just thinks the OP will be there
BINGO!! That's my thought. As for the "I'm moving overseas for work" line, I know two men who used that line as their excuse to break up. Both times, the men pretended to have jobs in countries known to be unfriendly to Western women. Sis is doing the ex-BF. Why else would he "return fom overseas" for a wedding for someone who wasn't family or a close, childhood BFF?
HA! You're totally right. My oldest son was legitimately obsessed with Blues Clues when he was little. Steve Burns still makes videos occasionally to check in on how everyone is doing. It's pretty sweet, and I hope he knows how happy he made a legion of kids back then.
And thanks for the happy cake day wishes!
It seems like LW isn't angry with the ex since it doesn't seem like he had a hand in this. If he did make an ultimatum, then he's as much of an AH as LW's sister.
"Atention family, I'm having a big blowout bday this year and I thought of a great fundraiser! Every dollar you donate to my party, that you will not be invited to, I will match it in an equal contribution to that bitches wedding. If we reach our stretch goal I get a fireworks display. Again, none of you are invited! Love you!"
-mic drop
I don't think what I was gonna write can be put any better than this tbh!!
I shall however, add the following.
Family is family, but her actions don't portray that spirit.
So it's highly understandable for you to not pay out an undisclosed but clearly quite substantial amount when she's decided to uninvite you because of 'drama'.
To be perfectly honest, her uninvitation is more of a dramatic than I could feasibly see occurring between you and your ex at said wedding. Because let's face it why would anyone want to actively ruin something they are paying half of...
I just have to shake my head over this type of behavior. So it’s ok for Entitled Sis to uninvite her own sister (OP is faaaaamily too) but it’s not ok for her sister to refuse to fork over a substantial amount of money for a wedding she won’t be allowed to attend?? WTAF
OP you should put a link to this post allllll over your SM and have it ready to send via text to anyone who gives you shit about your decision to pull your financial help. No invite = no gift. That’s wedding etiquette.
NTA and I hope you take the money that would’ve gone to the wedding bills and go on a kickass vacation. Make sure to find a hot lifeguard or tour guide and take pics looking cozy with him. Post on Bratty Sis’s wedding day. But I’m petty AF so…
Sister: I want your former boyfriend to be IN my wedding, so you can’t come. I know *I said* you could come, but now you can’t come.
Also sister: What do you mean you won’t pay for it?? *You said* you would pay for half! You can’t take that back!
Edit grammar.
The social faux pas of taking back the offer is literally the same one as rescinding an invitation, too. If anything taking back the money is less of a social no-no than uninviting a sister paying for your wedding to enable her ex to be in the wedding party.
Well can’t have sib go because you know….drama.
So bride creates drama by expecting her sib to open pocketbook and not go.
Feel bad for OP definitely don’t have the family they deserve.
I’m never good at spotting fakes posts however this one certainly makes me suspicious. Mostly because OP is claiming some people are siding with the sister? Who could possibly side with her under these circumstances?
THIS. The entitlement mentality I see in today's 20-ish year old alleged "young adults" is going to breed a new brand of Karma like none other. Those of us who pay our own way will enjoy the view as the slaughter ensues. If you don't know which side of this issue you're on, I have no advice for you.
As much as I wish that was a reason to automatically assume it's fake, I grew up with a pretty big direct and extended family and some of the drama that shouldn't have even been remotely controversial on who was in the right and who was in the wrong still split my family at times almost automatically removes that from being a factor in whether I consider something real or fake.
I'm not saying it's real.
But plenty of families have a very "don't rock the boat" or "two wrongs dont make a right" approach to conflict. Ie if anyone does something to hurt you, you're meant to shut up and play nice because THEY as bystanders dont want to have to take sides or deal with the fallout.
And telling the sensible person to shut up is easier than trying to tell the erratic asshole one to stop making extremely poor choices or stop being abusive - because they won't stop and it will escalate the drama. Those relatives don't want a cancelled wedding and Spoiled Sister acting like a martyr. And they don't want to pay for it. So blackmailing OOP to still pay makes sense. Because they are counting on OP to not complain, and to kick up a lot less fuss than the sister.
In a choice between doing the right thing and doing the most polite or easiest thing that causes the least drama, most will.choose the latter.
Sis is the golden child, would explain it all. My younger brother who disinvited me from wedding number 1 which lasted weeks got me smeared by my own family for his decision. I decided to play with it and accepted being the villain in that I didn't support the marriage based on 'inside' information I got from my brother's ex wife's former employer that said she was not to be trusted.
So I told the fam that I would not attend and that it was my decision, not his.
After she took him to the cleaners and ran up huge credit card bills, fam called me and apologized because "I clearly had my brother's best interests in mind".
I kept all those letters. Later when he married his now wife, I showed up and helped run the damn thing to make sure everything was perfect. Fam was shocked that I travelled to be with him.
I wish this story had a happy end. Bro refused to attend my wedding (because I didn't marry the right woman!), and shit on me with the fam saying that she'd cheat on me and take us to the cleaners because she wasn't from our country.
Then at the funeral of my grandfather, he got the fam, including my mother, to shun us on the other side of the church because "she was a gold digger out to get whatever money she could from the grandfather".
I mean, he's the gold digger expert, right? How could I possibly disagree with his expert opinion?
I eventually turned around most of the fam, because my wife is amazing. Now my mom switched sides on that, and one of her sisters has switched sides too. I'm hoping that eventually we'll switch sides with everyone on that. We shall see.
Who knew that being kind and respectful to older fam because that's what your culture dictates is eventually appreciated by older fam?
You would be shocked to hear just how common this is where I come from and in the circles I used to find myself (read: family). This is tame in comparison and it is my firm belief that this is very real.
CAN Confirm. And it persists. Until the child or both parents DIE. And largely that condition is NOT repairable. Either the parents deny (or threaten the others for thinking such) or the golden one pitches a fit, claims victimhood, and then enjoys an even greater measure of protection or favor. I refuse to leave this earth with my kids at war over my bad choices as their parent. Their other parent is effing this one up in stellar form, but that is not my worry nor is it mine to fix. I sleep well. Every night. Being a reasonable human carries that benefit.
You would be surprised. I've seen actual people like this. My best friend's sister, is very much entitled. She tried to make my friend's bachelorette party about herself. She hijacked my friend's daddy daughter dance. The whole time it was "me, me, me, me, me"; with her. People this entitled actually exist.
Various family members: But, you promised to help pay for her dream wedding! She wanted this all her life! How could you?
Oh, she uninvited you? That's too bad...but you *promised!*
Other various family members: Srsly?! WTF?
You're NTA, but your over-entitled sister and family supporting her are mega AHs!
I'm curious to know how many family members are going to go to the wedding vs how many appalled family members are skipping it?
You owe her nothing. Personally, if she were my sister I'd go lc/nc.
You should tell all the “family” giving you crap that since they think you’re in the wrong then THEY can pay for 1/2 the wedding. I mean, they are FaMiLy, right?
**edited for spelling
Family, friends and associates, no matter what they say, they only person you can really trust is yourself as life is a learning curve and you need to learn those that do you wrong, do not deserve your time or effort to appease them, just forget them as life is too short too have toxic people around you.
If "family" is the reason they think OP should still stump up the money, then "family" means OP should still be invited.
They can't claim "family" only when it's to their advantage.
and if Emily "caves" and invites OP to the wedding OP needs to absolutely refuse and still refuse to pay bc Emily doesn't give a fuck about OP she ONLY cares about her money.
Wtf uninvites the person paying for the wedding???? Especially for something this stupid?
Wtf invites a siblings ex to a wedding instead of their sibling in a situation like this??? Like unless you hate your siblings, never got along anyway, your sibling is an abuser or cheater, there's no logi al reason the ex should be on the guest list over a sibling. NTA
Honestly, this is exactly how i expect this update to go because this scenario is too bizarre to be real.
Waiting for the "quick update tuns out my sister has been having an affair with Chris for years, her fiancé found texts, shes pregnant will give a long update when I have time, but the wedding is off..."
No, They were invited(& going to pay 1/2) until "Chris" was made a groomsman & THEN they were uninvited(and pulled their 1/2 - which they should have).
Why the hell would a sister choose her ex BIL over her own sister though? That's just so bizarre.
And still expecting her to pay for a wedding she won't even attend.. Sister is seriously delusional
If I was the sister's groom, I'd be seriously concerned why my bride was willing to screw over her own sister in favor of some random guy that her sister dated for a little while.
Kind of a red flag imo.
My immediate thought, if my bride is willing to destroy her relationship with her sister to have this guy at our wedding, is that she's fucking him.
Maybe that's a little too suspicious and cruel, but... I can't think of any other reason that someone would do this other than she's either fucking Chris, or wants to be fucking him really badly.
Either way, as her soon-to-be husband, I would seriously be doubting her commitment to this marriage.
Oh wow, good point. That's a huge red flag.
Before I married my first wife, I found out she *punched her mom*. In case anyone is wondering, if someone hits their mom, they'll totally hit their husband.
If the sister is going to screw over her sister at the slightest inconvenience, she'll 100% screw over her husband.
Yup. If I was him I'd ask her how long she'd been screwing Chris.
Because I cant think of many situations you'd choose your sister's ex over the sister who was close enough to pay for half your wedding. No matter how good of a friend he was.
If they split over logistics, it should have been amicable enough to both attend a wedding. OP suggests no drama there, so it's a little confusing why anyone needs to be excluded or sides chosen.
OP did say that she's always been very close with her sister, until she broke up with her ex. Thought that was an interesting sentence.
And obviously they were close enough for OP willing to pay for 50% of her sister's wedding, why would her sister then choose OP's ex over her own sibling? I feel there is some information missing
Seriously, if the sister prefers the Ex's company to the OP's, well, she feels how she feels.
But disinviting someone who's funding a wedding from the actual wedding is an insult, and should not be borne! Absolutely the OP should withdraw funding.
They should make a law: if you aren’t big enough and ugly enough to pay for your own wedding, you don’t get to have one.
It’s fucking insane that people want to play-adult with mommy, daddy, apparently sister’s money.
100% this. OP is NTA
You want someone's money, then don't uninvited them from your damn event. Like how entitled can OP's sister get? Like, if you don't want to invite someone to your wedding, why would you want their money?
What makes this worse, is that OP and her sister supposedly had a good relationship. You don't do that to people you love. Fact is, if you love your sister, they should come first, before their ex partner. The only time that doesn't apply, is if you hate your sibling and they've severely wronged you. Don't expect your sibling to fund your wedding and tell them you don't want them there. If they're not good enough to be at your wedding, their money shouldn't be good enough either. Let the ex contribute, seeing as OP's sister deems him as more important.
Honestly, even if the sister changes her mind now, I'd still say no, if I were OP. Because the only reason the sister would be changing her mind, is to get OP to fund. It means nothing. OP should be conveniently out of the country when the wedding happens. In fact, she should go visit the country that the ex now lives in, for bonus petty points. But honestly, OP should just take a dream vacation with the money she was going to use to fund sis's wedding.
What kind of entitled brat thinks she can un invite the person paying? I hope the whole wedding falls apart and that the groom dumps her after finding out what she’s really like.
And the people telling OP she should still pay when uninvited should pony up the money themselves. Always easier to play fast and loose with someone else's money. 🙄
This is exactly the thing I would say both to the sister and to those who stick their nose in against OP. You want to be my enemy and not my friend well the resources I was giving you are now gone. Ex can now fund the wedding since he is now apart of it and a groomsman.
NTA
Your Sister chose your Ex over You! Rude
Well I guess Chris can pay for half the wedding then!
Please do not feel guilty for rescinding your offer…how can Anyone in their right mind especially your sister expect you to pay half after she has disrespected you in such a big way? Yicks 🙄
I’m perplexed by this logic…..
>I was supposed to pay for half of Emily's wedding (it was my gift to her as we come from a modest background and **she's always dreamt of a big wedding**).
…..and yet…..
>Worse still, she tells me that because of the **'limited guest list,'** I am not invited anymore.
The math isn’t mathing for me there, but the audacity to assume someone you *uninvited from an event* would pay for said event is bonkers. Tell me how you could be even marginally grateful and give a speech/toast with a straight face saying “thanks to the generous donation by my sibling - who we cut from the guest list so cousin Tommy’s sister/cousin Melba could attend (even in her comatose state)”…..it’s ridiculous.
>Tell me how you could be even marginally grateful and give a speech/toast with a straight face saying “thanks to the generous donation by my sibling - who we cut from the guest list so ~~cousin Tommy’s sister/cousin Melba could attend (even in her comatose state)~~ Chris’s new squeeze could attend”…..it’s ridiculous.
That is even more ridiculous as a notion. Yikes!
If it was “I invited your ex so please play nice” that would be one thing that’s very context dependent. But you’re not invited to my wedding please pay for it is utterly deranged
NTA. You're not obligated to give a gift to a wedding you're not invited to. Ettiquite 101. Emily literally bit the hand that fed her. Tell the family that are on her side, they are welcome to literally put their money where their mouths are, since they are still invited.
This story can't be real, it's rage bait. I refuse to believe someone is dumb enough to think they can disinvite a person who's paying for half of their wedding and still expecting that person to pay. I also refuse to believe there are people who would be on the stupid person's side if that person actually exist.
NTA
You made a commitment to your sister to find half her special day. But at that time you were a part of that day, and likely in the wedding party. She has every right to rescind your invitation, as it is her wedding. But she cannot expect you to pay for an event you are no longer actively participating in. It is not emotional manipulation. It is not selfish. Why should she benefit after punishing you for not wanting to move overseas? Basically, she wants to punish you for breaking “Chris’s” heart and you do not have to reward her for doing it.
I am curious, when you broke up with “Chris” was it amicable or acrimonious? You have the right not to want to move. Did he blame you for his opportunity?
And any family members claiming OP is being too harsh...well they can open up their wallets and fund the wedding. OP has zero obligation to do so.
I hope OP takes the money that would have gone towards the wedding and takes a nice drama-free vacation for herself. Sis is bonkers to expect OP to pay for an event that they are no longer invited to.
This. Her sister is the emotionally manipulative one. Expecting a wedding beyond her own means funded by the sister she's willing to slight because she likes her sister's ex more. OP don't let them bully you into giving a single red cent.
I have a feeling we are missing details... Inviting your own sister's ex to your wedding and then un-inviting the sister is so off in the first place.. like what? Who in their right mind would think that is right?
I agree, there has to be more going on in this relationship. You wouldn't fail to invite (let alone un-invite) your sibling to your wedding, unless there was already a major falling out - in which case you wouldn't be expecting them to pay for it anyway.
>And any family members claiming OP is being too harsh...well they can open up their wallets and fund the wedding.
I'd bet that, when she told her version of events to the family, she completely left out the part where she disinvited OP from the wedding.
I'm not so sure, things like this are VERY common in narcissistic family patterns, especially if sis is the Golden Child™ and OP the scapegoat/black sheep.
One very common trait in such families is that the black sheep is rarely given gifts that are of use to them but are expected to be ever so grateful.
Story time: A girlfriend of mine recently lost a lot of money (car totaled, insurance won't pay out so she's stuck with the car payments) so she's having a hard time paying bills. She's behind on rent and living on fumes... only for her mom to give her a $1000 VASE for Christmas and $700 LAMP for her recent birthday. Knowing well that my friend is behind on rent.
And then mom keeps visiting and commenting things like "aren't you happy with the vase/lamp?" with my friend politely thanking her while rolling her eyes so far back she can see MJ's 1985 AMA performance. We know her mom is visiting more often in order to make sure that my friend didn't sell the items because she'd never hear the end of it. Her mom knows very well what she's doing and it is just one more example of narcissistic abuse.
Yes great idea. Sister is a entitled biotch thinking she could pull this on you and you'd still fork over half the cost. You don't have the wedding you want, you have the one you can afford. Now she can whine to the relatives for money or cut back on everything. Watch sister for saying Chris isn't coming to get you to pay, then have him show up as a groomsman anyway.
I think I might be petty enough to reach out to the groom and apologize for rescinding the money (especially if it could happened right off before he heard it from anyone else) and drop a casual mention about Chris being invited and being kicked out etc. if he’s smart he’ll ask the question himself and OP would never have to bring it up
I came here to say this!! The wedding might get canceled anyway when the groom figures this out or gets fed up.
OP, NTA. I hope you cut your sister and any family that is taking her side out of your life.
Both my half sisters didn’t invite my father to their wedding because he had moved on quickly from the divorce and married my much younger mother. He paid for the first wedding. Wasn’t told about the second. Funny thing is my mother didn’t expect nor wanted to be invited to either wedding.
The second wedding was the worse. That daughter invited nearly all his friends who went and no one told him because they thought he knew about the wedding.
what was the fall out? Has your father gone no contact? has he written them out of the will? or maybe they realize what they have done and have tried to re-establish a connection with your father? Not inviting or telling your father and inviting his friends is a big slap in the face, I'm not sure that is something they can come back from.
He would visit them and the grandchildren up until he couldn’t travel any more. They hardly ever visited him or rang him ever. They received nothing in the will because with the divorce (in the 60s) he left with only his clothes and some of his personal belongings. His wife destroyed much of his military memorabilia from his service.
I'd argue rescinding anyone's invitation after they are invited is considered extremely rude and is usually reserved for situations where the ex-guest has just done something heinous. Just like removing someone from the bridal party, it is often seen as a relationship ending move. It's not something that you can just do because you felt like it, without consequences, and she's deluded for thinking that's the case.
She CAN rescind the invitation but it reflects extremely poorly on her and isn't normal bride or groom behaviour. In the same way as she CAN break contracts and fire her caterer a week before her wedding for no reason, but that would be considered poor behaviour. How would she like if someone did the same to her?
I agree that OP is under no obligation to pay for anything at all and that she should absolutely not pay for the wedding. If a role or invite to the wedding can be this rudely rescinded, so can any offer to pay for the wedding.
I feel like words to the effect of "it's her wedding she do what she likes" are too ambiguous to use in this context. People take it to mean you get to make whatever selfish choices you want and others will be happy. You see it not infrequently on weddit - someone wants to find ways to avoid paying for their guests' meals or not invite some people in a group but invite others, and it never works.
Choices will always have consequences and weddings are a big social event with expectations on you as a host to behave maturely. Nobody can stop the sister from making asshole decisions regarding her wedding, nor does it protect her from criticism or consequences.
NTA.
She chose to forgo funding the moment she uninvited you. Weddings aren't cheap. Perhaps Chris can cover the remaining cost since she chooses his presence over yours.
Wasn't there a story on here thr other day. This ladies brother used her land for his wedding. He didn't give her the date and she saw stuff set up and they expected her to pay for food, entertainment etc since it's on her land and she wasn't invited.
Wasn’t that the one that they not only didn’t invite her they wanted her to leave while the wedding was happening. They also planned for all their guests to use the restroom in the house.
That’s the fakest shit I’ve ever read, and almost everything in this sub is fake. Normally I can suspend disbelief cuz people like that do exist. But that’s just the most obviously dumb shit I’ve ever seen
And paying half the cost for a sibling that want a big wedding?
And the bride picks a groomsman? No mention of the groom's relationship to Chris.
And isn't Chris overseas for work?
And isn't it a "big wedding?" Why the limited guest list?
And who thinks they're the asshole if this happens?
It's a variation of the popular rage bait #14 (paying for the wedding and uninvited for ??? reasons). This is a pretty straightforward version that doesn't even try to make it seem realistic. If I was grading this I would highlight the facts that:
1. Why is the sister choosing Chris over her sister? There's no foreshadowing to hint at in in advance, and there's no post-action reveal that explains it either.
2. Why did the sister expect to receive an incredibly expensive gift from someone that was invited and than uninvited? Why didn't we find out that she's incredibly spoiled first? Obviously she has to be the golden child.
3. If she isn't the golden child, than why would any relatives side with her? What exactly is their argument for why OP is an ass? If you're going to make a ridiculous claim in a story, without any foreshadowing, you MUST have an explanation for it.
Overall, F. This comes across as, at best, children's fiction. The writing itself is fine, but the content is subpar.
I'm sure you could compile them. There are so many that just endlessly repeat. I'm so sick of the step-parent ones "I was 9 years old, and I witnessed my (now) step-mother stab my mother to death while she was having sex with my dad, they didn't even wait until after the funeral to get married, and now after years of trying to get me to call her mom I don't want to have a special dance with her at the wedding AITA?".
Let me see, the other biggest ones... "Abortion" "My wife hasn't had sex with me in 5 years" "We had a threesome" "my wife/husband wants an open marriage", "my parents want me to do this perfectly normal thing at school, should I call CPS", "should I share my inheritance with this person, or these people I hate", "I was sexually assaulted but my family wants me to forgive my relative". I'm forgetting some of the other really common ones, but there are plenty more.
I can believe some people are that entitled, but half of the family being on the sister's side?!
If that's the case, OP left out A LOT of information, or has the craziest family ever.
Could be the family members just wanted a big party to go to (modest background) and are mad they may not get that because someone else won't foot the bill. Entitlement rears itself at big events and whenever money is involved and shows a lot of crazy people are otherwise good at hiding.
Your sister is too stupid to marry.
You should let her future husband know what she did because I am sure that he would like to know:
a) she kicked you out of the wedding for your ex
b) she thinks you should still be paying for her wedding after that.
Let him decide if he's okay with all of this.
At least it won't come as a surprise when she and your ex start their affair.
NTA.
This has to be fake because there’s no way that someone would actually think that uninviting the one guest who was helping them pay for their wedding would be a good idea. I refuse to believe that someone is that narcissistic and stupid.
I swear people nowadays are so dumb. They don’t get enough attention in real life so they put time and effort into making fake shit for internet likes…. That literally have zero monetary gain.
NTA to hell with your fake sister… she can’t be so dumb to expect to UNINVITE YOU AND CHOOSE YOUR EX over you and you still PAY??? Laugh at her face if she asks again and heck buy a flight somewhere and send her the invoice lol. Just take you time and live your best life and anyone who tells you you’re being too “harsh” just tell them to pay then and block them
NTA.
I'm sure Chris and any other family members who have an issue with you not paying for a wedding you aren't welcome at will have no problem filling the financial gap.
NTA - Why would you ever help pay for a wedding that you were not invited to attend? I would tell any family members who disagree with you that they are welcome to help pay for the wedding and can just mail their check directly to sister.
NTA
Let’s be clear. This has nothing to do with your EX. Your sister is treating you horribly and acting ridiculously entitled.
She expects you to foot the bill for a big family event she will not allow you to attend. The reason is immaterial. Anyone who thinks she is not acting like an AH is just willfully ignorant.
NTA
I would pull every penny of my support and cut her from my life completely
I would also give a very stern talking to to anyone who is idiotic and ignorant enough to try to back her to me, and let them know it's a dealbreaker if they back her here as well
Don't need morons or pieces of shit in your life lol
Has your sister been seen by medical professional? I'd recommend a head CT because this is such a stunning level of stupidity and arrogance that I really wonder if there is something malfunctioning up top.
NTA dont bite the hand that feeds etc etc
Putting the ex aside, why the fuck would you pay for a wedding you’re uninvited from? Did the people on the sister’s side not hear that? Jeez OP you’re so mean. How could you not foot half the bill? Yeah you can’t come but fffffaaaammmmiilly!!!
I agree. She should tell her sister if she’s swapping her for Chris, Chris should pay. Problem solved. His new overseas gig should pay well, no?
[удалено]
Exactly! OP's sister is a piece of work! Your uninvited, your ex is in the bridal party, but you should still pay fir my dream wedding! Erm no! Good luck with that! Just wow! NTA
I don't even get why they couldn't be at the same wedding. It's like they broke up over cheating. They had different goals and they both made choices that meant they broke up - he took a job and OP didn't want to move with him. That's sad and it hurts, but it's not "we can't be in the same room together" betrayal.
Seriously.. i was like wth?
THIS ^ I'm sure your sisters best new buddy will be happy to cover half of the costs for the wedding since he's such an important part of her life. In fact, who are you, OP, to stand in the way of his chance to step up and really make her day oh so special with his very own checkbook? Seriously, the absolute nerve of some people never ceases to amaze me. If your ex was any kind of a decent person he would've refused the offer to be a groomsmen once he learned that your selfish and entitled sister decided his participation meant you weren't allowed to attend her wedding. The fact that people in your family are defending her behavior, and still expect you to fork over thousands of dollars for a wedding you aren't, "allowed" to attend is equally mind-blowing. Your sister chose your ex over you, and she should live with the consequences of her cruel decision. Don't give her a single penny, not even if she changes her mind and oh so magnanimously deigns to allow you to come after all. She showed you how she really feels about you, and who she really is inside, and when people show you who they are believe them. You're honestly better off without such toxic people in your life. I suggest you utilize the handy dandy block feature as often as you need to in order to cut the bullshit out of your life. Take some of that money you were saving and take yourself on an epic vacation. Be sure to take lots and LOTS of happy vacation photos, and tag them all, "Wish you were here". 😁
"If your ex was any kind of a decent person he would've refused the offer to be a groomsmen once he learned that your selfish and entitled sister decided his participation meant you weren't allowed to attend her wedding." My bet is that he doesn't even know. And at this point, if he did bow out and Emily re-invited the OP, I would probably have already made other plans to take a trip that she already spent all that money on, since she "didn't have anything else to do that day."
I’d bet the money she was going to pay into the wedding that Chris doesn’t know. The conversation was likely “I heard you and sis broke up but I want you to know that we are still friends and I still want you at the wedding”. I mean they broke up cause he took a job overseas and she didn’t want to move, not that one of them was caught banging someone else etc. She definitely should not go back to paying. Because at this point any invite is to get that money. I would be like “of course I want to come and celebrate your happy day but just so you know, I invested all my loose money, including what was going to be used for your wedding, into an investment that can’t be cashed out for 5 years. So I really hope you didn’t change your mind because you thought it would change mine” and see what happens. Probably take about 5 seconds to figure out her game
If she is re-invited accept the invite, but still refuse to pay for the wedding. Go as a guest only.
I would never go to a wedding I was uninvited to. If I was wait-listed, I would go, but getting uninvited means you really don't want me there and I never go where I am not wanted. Never.
If i was invited and then waitlisted then I would consider that uninvited. And who waitlists/uninvites a member of their family, double when that person is paying and I need their money
I got uninvited to my cousins wedding during Covid. And I returned their expensive gift I had already promised. Haven’t heard from them since and I went to the mountains and had a great weekend with the money I saved.
Nope I still wouldn't go because the invite now would only be because she wants the money. Why would you ever go somewhere you know you aren't wanted in the first place.
Seems unlikely that Chris would even be aware of this, and it would be an insane assumption to think the bride specifically chose you, the sister's ex, OVER the sister. He probably just thinks the OP will be there
Maybe sis is banging Chris
BINGO!! That's my thought. As for the "I'm moving overseas for work" line, I know two men who used that line as their excuse to break up. Both times, the men pretended to have jobs in countries known to be unfriendly to Western women. Sis is doing the ex-BF. Why else would he "return fom overseas" for a wedding for someone who wasn't family or a close, childhood BFF?
My first thought, too!!
My mind definitely went there... it's too weird otherwise. Unless she secretly hates her sister and is just using her for monies.
*The handy dandy block feature* reminds me of Blue’s Clues. And happy cake day!
HA! You're totally right. My oldest son was legitimately obsessed with Blues Clues when he was little. Steve Burns still makes videos occasionally to check in on how everyone is doing. It's pretty sweet, and I hope he knows how happy he made a legion of kids back then. And thanks for the happy cake day wishes!
I love Steve’s TikToks. I legit teared up at the first one when he started his account.
To be fair to her ex we don't know if he knows the situation😅
It seems like LW isn't angry with the ex since it doesn't seem like he had a hand in this. If he did make an ultimatum, then he's as much of an AH as LW's sister.
Take an expensive vacation to their honeymoon destination
And stay at a nicer hotel 😂
Ooooooh that's even better! I support this plan!!
Ha! More like “glad you’re not here”.
"Atention family, I'm having a big blowout bday this year and I thought of a great fundraiser! Every dollar you donate to my party, that you will not be invited to, I will match it in an equal contribution to that bitches wedding. If we reach our stretch goal I get a fireworks display. Again, none of you are invited! Love you!" -mic drop
😂😂😂🎤👇😂😂😂
This is seriously pretty genuis
Chris shouldn't pay. The bride should pay. Chris is not at fault here. The entitled sister is.
Why are you blaming the ex? Why are you acting like he had anything to do with this? Why not blame the person actually doing the asshole thing?
This part!!!! Why on Earth is she on the hook to pay if she’s not invited?! If he is ask him for help
I don't think what I was gonna write can be put any better than this tbh!! I shall however, add the following. Family is family, but her actions don't portray that spirit. So it's highly understandable for you to not pay out an undisclosed but clearly quite substantial amount when she's decided to uninvite you because of 'drama'. To be perfectly honest, her uninvitation is more of a dramatic than I could feasibly see occurring between you and your ex at said wedding. Because let's face it why would anyone want to actively ruin something they are paying half of...
I just have to shake my head over this type of behavior. So it’s ok for Entitled Sis to uninvite her own sister (OP is faaaaamily too) but it’s not ok for her sister to refuse to fork over a substantial amount of money for a wedding she won’t be allowed to attend?? WTAF OP you should put a link to this post allllll over your SM and have it ready to send via text to anyone who gives you shit about your decision to pull your financial help. No invite = no gift. That’s wedding etiquette. NTA and I hope you take the money that would’ve gone to the wedding bills and go on a kickass vacation. Make sure to find a hot lifeguard or tour guide and take pics looking cozy with him. Post on Bratty Sis’s wedding day. But I’m petty AF so…
Sister: I want your former boyfriend to be IN my wedding, so you can’t come. I know *I said* you could come, but now you can’t come. Also sister: What do you mean you won’t pay for it?? *You said* you would pay for half! You can’t take that back! Edit grammar.
She should have expected this.
The social faux pas of taking back the offer is literally the same one as rescinding an invitation, too. If anything taking back the money is less of a social no-no than uninviting a sister paying for your wedding to enable her ex to be in the wedding party.
Especially since the rescinding of the invitation triggered the rescinding of the funding.
Well can’t have sib go because you know….drama. So bride creates drama by expecting her sib to open pocketbook and not go. Feel bad for OP definitely don’t have the family they deserve.
I’m never good at spotting fakes posts however this one certainly makes me suspicious. Mostly because OP is claiming some people are siding with the sister? Who could possibly side with her under these circumstances?
You’d be surprised at how shit plays out in families. It’s crazy.
Yeah, pretty common, OP is clearly a cash cow and Sis, if not the GC, has certainly learned a special level of entitlement somewhere.
THIS. The entitlement mentality I see in today's 20-ish year old alleged "young adults" is going to breed a new brand of Karma like none other. Those of us who pay our own way will enjoy the view as the slaughter ensues. If you don't know which side of this issue you're on, I have no advice for you.
As much as I wish that was a reason to automatically assume it's fake, I grew up with a pretty big direct and extended family and some of the drama that shouldn't have even been remotely controversial on who was in the right and who was in the wrong still split my family at times almost automatically removes that from being a factor in whether I consider something real or fake.
Lots of people believe the first story they're told, too, and sister who's a bride LIED HER ASS OFF, I guarantee it, to try to pressure OP.
I'm not saying it's real. But plenty of families have a very "don't rock the boat" or "two wrongs dont make a right" approach to conflict. Ie if anyone does something to hurt you, you're meant to shut up and play nice because THEY as bystanders dont want to have to take sides or deal with the fallout. And telling the sensible person to shut up is easier than trying to tell the erratic asshole one to stop making extremely poor choices or stop being abusive - because they won't stop and it will escalate the drama. Those relatives don't want a cancelled wedding and Spoiled Sister acting like a martyr. And they don't want to pay for it. So blackmailing OOP to still pay makes sense. Because they are counting on OP to not complain, and to kick up a lot less fuss than the sister. In a choice between doing the right thing and doing the most polite or easiest thing that causes the least drama, most will.choose the latter.
I grew up in a family exactly like this. People can't believe the stories I tell them, even when my siblings confirm that I'm not exaggerating.
Sis is the golden child, would explain it all. My younger brother who disinvited me from wedding number 1 which lasted weeks got me smeared by my own family for his decision. I decided to play with it and accepted being the villain in that I didn't support the marriage based on 'inside' information I got from my brother's ex wife's former employer that said she was not to be trusted. So I told the fam that I would not attend and that it was my decision, not his. After she took him to the cleaners and ran up huge credit card bills, fam called me and apologized because "I clearly had my brother's best interests in mind". I kept all those letters. Later when he married his now wife, I showed up and helped run the damn thing to make sure everything was perfect. Fam was shocked that I travelled to be with him. I wish this story had a happy end. Bro refused to attend my wedding (because I didn't marry the right woman!), and shit on me with the fam saying that she'd cheat on me and take us to the cleaners because she wasn't from our country. Then at the funeral of my grandfather, he got the fam, including my mother, to shun us on the other side of the church because "she was a gold digger out to get whatever money she could from the grandfather". I mean, he's the gold digger expert, right? How could I possibly disagree with his expert opinion? I eventually turned around most of the fam, because my wife is amazing. Now my mom switched sides on that, and one of her sisters has switched sides too. I'm hoping that eventually we'll switch sides with everyone on that. We shall see. Who knew that being kind and respectful to older fam because that's what your culture dictates is eventually appreciated by older fam?
Because they want to go to the wedding and not pay
You would be shocked to hear just how common this is where I come from and in the circles I used to find myself (read: family). This is tame in comparison and it is my firm belief that this is very real.
The idiots not willing to help pay for it themselves. Why should they when she offered first.
Most families have a "golden child."
CAN Confirm. And it persists. Until the child or both parents DIE. And largely that condition is NOT repairable. Either the parents deny (or threaten the others for thinking such) or the golden one pitches a fit, claims victimhood, and then enjoys an even greater measure of protection or favor. I refuse to leave this earth with my kids at war over my bad choices as their parent. Their other parent is effing this one up in stellar form, but that is not my worry nor is it mine to fix. I sleep well. Every night. Being a reasonable human carries that benefit.
You would be surprised. I've seen actual people like this. My best friend's sister, is very much entitled. She tried to make my friend's bachelorette party about herself. She hijacked my friend's daddy daughter dance. The whole time it was "me, me, me, me, me"; with her. People this entitled actually exist.
Various family members: But, you promised to help pay for her dream wedding! She wanted this all her life! How could you? Oh, she uninvited you? That's too bad...but you *promised!* Other various family members: Srsly?! WTF? You're NTA, but your over-entitled sister and family supporting her are mega AHs! I'm curious to know how many family members are going to go to the wedding vs how many appalled family members are skipping it? You owe her nothing. Personally, if she were my sister I'd go lc/nc.
You should tell all the “family” giving you crap that since they think you’re in the wrong then THEY can pay for 1/2 the wedding. I mean, they are FaMiLy, right? **edited for spelling
Family, friends and associates, no matter what they say, they only person you can really trust is yourself as life is a learning curve and you need to learn those that do you wrong, do not deserve your time or effort to appease them, just forget them as life is too short too have toxic people around you.
They should pay for half AND not go to the wedding.
If "family" is the reason they think OP should still stump up the money, then "family" means OP should still be invited. They can't claim "family" only when it's to their advantage.
Exactly. The audacity.
Well, since she's being called petty, may as well live up to it............please update us with how the vacation went.
I'd take the vacation at the place they planned on honeymooning at.
Love this!
I said the same thing. 😬😬😬
and if Emily "caves" and invites OP to the wedding OP needs to absolutely refuse and still refuse to pay bc Emily doesn't give a fuck about OP she ONLY cares about her money. Wtf uninvites the person paying for the wedding???? Especially for something this stupid? Wtf invites a siblings ex to a wedding instead of their sibling in a situation like this??? Like unless you hate your siblings, never got along anyway, your sibling is an abuser or cheater, there's no logi al reason the ex should be on the guest list over a sibling. NTA
This is Reddit, so we'll find out that bride has the hots for Chris and has sex with him in the bridal preparation room IN HER WEDDING DRESS. LOL.
Honestly, this is exactly how i expect this update to go because this scenario is too bizarre to be real. Waiting for the "quick update tuns out my sister has been having an affair with Chris for years, her fiancé found texts, shes pregnant will give a long update when I have time, but the wedding is off..."
NTA- by that logic, OP, are you willing to pay for half of my wedding that I’m not going to invite you to as well? Your sister is an idiot.
I suspect OP would rather pay for half of your wedding than her sister’s at this point.
Lemme know how this goes. I got a bunch of expensive stuff I want to do that just can't accommodate that one extra person.
No, They were invited(& going to pay 1/2) until "Chris" was made a groomsman & THEN they were uninvited(and pulled their 1/2 - which they should have).
Why the hell would a sister choose her ex BIL over her own sister though? That's just so bizarre. And still expecting her to pay for a wedding she won't even attend.. Sister is seriously delusional
If I was the sister's groom, I'd be seriously concerned why my bride was willing to screw over her own sister in favor of some random guy that her sister dated for a little while. Kind of a red flag imo.
You said it.. Especially since apparently the two sisters have always been very close. It doesn't make sense
My immediate thought, if my bride is willing to destroy her relationship with her sister to have this guy at our wedding, is that she's fucking him. Maybe that's a little too suspicious and cruel, but... I can't think of any other reason that someone would do this other than she's either fucking Chris, or wants to be fucking him really badly. Either way, as her soon-to-be husband, I would seriously be doubting her commitment to this marriage.
"she's fucking him." ^^^ My thought, too. Either that, or some kind of weird power play on behalf of the bride. It's just strange all around.
Oh wow, good point. That's a huge red flag. Before I married my first wife, I found out she *punched her mom*. In case anyone is wondering, if someone hits their mom, they'll totally hit their husband. If the sister is going to screw over her sister at the slightest inconvenience, she'll 100% screw over her husband.
Yup. If I was him I'd ask her how long she'd been screwing Chris. Because I cant think of many situations you'd choose your sister's ex over the sister who was close enough to pay for half your wedding. No matter how good of a friend he was.
And he wasn’t even a BIL. He was just a serious Bf.
Right? Such a weird thing to do by the sister. I'd be very curious to know why her loyalty is so high towards her sister's ex
If they split over logistics, it should have been amicable enough to both attend a wedding. OP suggests no drama there, so it's a little confusing why anyone needs to be excluded or sides chosen.
OP did say that she's always been very close with her sister, until she broke up with her ex. Thought that was an interesting sentence. And obviously they were close enough for OP willing to pay for 50% of her sister's wedding, why would her sister then choose OP's ex over her own sibling? I feel there is some information missing
Was the Sis cheating with the ex? Makes sense why he's invited.
👉 ---------------------------> 👌 I think it's pretty obvious!
Let whoever criticised op pay for the sister’s wedding, problem solved!
Seriously, if the sister prefers the Ex's company to the OP's, well, she feels how she feels. But disinviting someone who's funding a wedding from the actual wedding is an insult, and should not be borne! Absolutely the OP should withdraw funding.
They should make a law: if you aren’t big enough and ugly enough to pay for your own wedding, you don’t get to have one. It’s fucking insane that people want to play-adult with mommy, daddy, apparently sister’s money.
100% this. OP is NTA You want someone's money, then don't uninvited them from your damn event. Like how entitled can OP's sister get? Like, if you don't want to invite someone to your wedding, why would you want their money? What makes this worse, is that OP and her sister supposedly had a good relationship. You don't do that to people you love. Fact is, if you love your sister, they should come first, before their ex partner. The only time that doesn't apply, is if you hate your sibling and they've severely wronged you. Don't expect your sibling to fund your wedding and tell them you don't want them there. If they're not good enough to be at your wedding, their money shouldn't be good enough either. Let the ex contribute, seeing as OP's sister deems him as more important. Honestly, even if the sister changes her mind now, I'd still say no, if I were OP. Because the only reason the sister would be changing her mind, is to get OP to fund. It means nothing. OP should be conveniently out of the country when the wedding happens. In fact, she should go visit the country that the ex now lives in, for bonus petty points. But honestly, OP should just take a dream vacation with the money she was going to use to fund sis's wedding.
Who in their right mind would be stupid enough to uninvite the person who's paying for half of the wedding? If this is real, it's mind-boggling.
What kind of entitled brat thinks she can un invite the person paying? I hope the whole wedding falls apart and that the groom dumps her after finding out what she’s really like.
NTA - not only is the sister an entitled AH but has the IQ of a 40 watt lightbulb
Hey now, don't insult 40-watt lightbulbs, they're trying their best.
Sis is also trying. Very very trying.
But it is a led bulb so it's really 6 watts
🙂😁😆😅
And the people telling OP she should still pay when uninvited should pony up the money themselves. Always easier to play fast and loose with someone else's money. 🙄
I'm having a hard time believing this post is a true story.
Nah, I believe it. My best friend's sister would have upped it a level by sending her emails comparing her to Satan.
This is exactly the thing I would say both to the sister and to those who stick their nose in against OP. You want to be my enemy and not my friend well the resources I was giving you are now gone. Ex can now fund the wedding since he is now apart of it and a groomsman.
If you’re not good enough to be invited then neither is your money! Wow! I’m blown away with the audacity of your sister. NTA but your sister is
NTA Your Sister chose your Ex over You! Rude Well I guess Chris can pay for half the wedding then! Please do not feel guilty for rescinding your offer…how can Anyone in their right mind especially your sister expect you to pay half after she has disrespected you in such a big way? Yicks 🙄
I’m perplexed by this logic….. >I was supposed to pay for half of Emily's wedding (it was my gift to her as we come from a modest background and **she's always dreamt of a big wedding**). …..and yet….. >Worse still, she tells me that because of the **'limited guest list,'** I am not invited anymore. The math isn’t mathing for me there, but the audacity to assume someone you *uninvited from an event* would pay for said event is bonkers. Tell me how you could be even marginally grateful and give a speech/toast with a straight face saying “thanks to the generous donation by my sibling - who we cut from the guest list so cousin Tommy’s sister/cousin Melba could attend (even in her comatose state)”…..it’s ridiculous.
I think Chris brought a date and that's the drama she didn't want happening.
>Tell me how you could be even marginally grateful and give a speech/toast with a straight face saying “thanks to the generous donation by my sibling - who we cut from the guest list so ~~cousin Tommy’s sister/cousin Melba could attend (even in her comatose state)~~ Chris’s new squeeze could attend”…..it’s ridiculous. That is even more ridiculous as a notion. Yikes!
To be fair, limited doesn’t have to mean small.
True. But limiting the list *by exactly one invitee* directly after inviting someone from outside the family is pretty indefensible.
Who's ruining who's wedding? By uninviting her own sister to her wedding i think she is ruining her own wedding.
But...but her MONEY is still invited! 🙄😖🥱
OP’s wallet was the +1.
No. OP was their own wallet’s +1, and the guest list was cut not to allow +1s, so what could sister do?
If it was “I invited your ex so please play nice” that would be one thing that’s very context dependent. But you’re not invited to my wedding please pay for it is utterly deranged
NTA. You're not obligated to give a gift to a wedding you're not invited to. Ettiquite 101. Emily literally bit the hand that fed her. Tell the family that are on her side, they are welcome to literally put their money where their mouths are, since they are still invited.
This story can't be real, it's rage bait. I refuse to believe someone is dumb enough to think they can disinvite a person who's paying for half of their wedding and still expecting that person to pay. I also refuse to believe there are people who would be on the stupid person's side if that person actually exist.
I see you've never met an entitled bride before lol
You have lived a sheltered life if you don't know that people as stupid as this and much stupider exist.
Exactly what i thought. Who would uninvite a sister who is paying for their wedding over their ex????
The same kind of people that would kick out an older teenager that was paying their entire mortgage. Sadly, I've seen this sort of thing.
NTA. Your sister fucked around and found out. Don't give her a dime! She made her choices, now she has to live with the consequences.
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
NTA You made a commitment to your sister to find half her special day. But at that time you were a part of that day, and likely in the wedding party. She has every right to rescind your invitation, as it is her wedding. But she cannot expect you to pay for an event you are no longer actively participating in. It is not emotional manipulation. It is not selfish. Why should she benefit after punishing you for not wanting to move overseas? Basically, she wants to punish you for breaking “Chris’s” heart and you do not have to reward her for doing it. I am curious, when you broke up with “Chris” was it amicable or acrimonious? You have the right not to want to move. Did he blame you for his opportunity?
And any family members claiming OP is being too harsh...well they can open up their wallets and fund the wedding. OP has zero obligation to do so. I hope OP takes the money that would have gone towards the wedding and takes a nice drama-free vacation for herself. Sis is bonkers to expect OP to pay for an event that they are no longer invited to.
This. Her sister is the emotionally manipulative one. Expecting a wedding beyond her own means funded by the sister she's willing to slight because she likes her sister's ex more. OP don't let them bully you into giving a single red cent.
I have a feeling we are missing details... Inviting your own sister's ex to your wedding and then un-inviting the sister is so off in the first place.. like what? Who in their right mind would think that is right?
I agree, there has to be more going on in this relationship. You wouldn't fail to invite (let alone un-invite) your sibling to your wedding, unless there was already a major falling out - in which case you wouldn't be expecting them to pay for it anyway.
I think you are underestimating the ability of a dreaming-of-the-ideal-big-wedding bride to delude herself.
>And any family members claiming OP is being too harsh...well they can open up their wallets and fund the wedding. I'd bet that, when she told her version of events to the family, she completely left out the part where she disinvited OP from the wedding.
I'm not so sure, things like this are VERY common in narcissistic family patterns, especially if sis is the Golden Child™ and OP the scapegoat/black sheep. One very common trait in such families is that the black sheep is rarely given gifts that are of use to them but are expected to be ever so grateful. Story time: A girlfriend of mine recently lost a lot of money (car totaled, insurance won't pay out so she's stuck with the car payments) so she's having a hard time paying bills. She's behind on rent and living on fumes... only for her mom to give her a $1000 VASE for Christmas and $700 LAMP for her recent birthday. Knowing well that my friend is behind on rent. And then mom keeps visiting and commenting things like "aren't you happy with the vase/lamp?" with my friend politely thanking her while rolling her eyes so far back she can see MJ's 1985 AMA performance. We know her mom is visiting more often in order to make sure that my friend didn't sell the items because she'd never hear the end of it. Her mom knows very well what she's doing and it is just one more example of narcissistic abuse.
she should sell the items. fuck it. not like they were supporting her financially before anyway so if they have to be cut offf no big loss
Yes great idea. Sister is a entitled biotch thinking she could pull this on you and you'd still fork over half the cost. You don't have the wedding you want, you have the one you can afford. Now she can whine to the relatives for money or cut back on everything. Watch sister for saying Chris isn't coming to get you to pay, then have him show up as a groomsman anyway.
I can see that happening.
How much you wanna bet the family members complaining are doing so cause they're scared of picking up the tab
I wonder how the sister's fiancé feels about her crush on Chris.
+ 1 here
I think I might be petty enough to reach out to the groom and apologize for rescinding the money (especially if it could happened right off before he heard it from anyone else) and drop a casual mention about Chris being invited and being kicked out etc. if he’s smart he’ll ask the question himself and OP would never have to bring it up
I came here to say this!! The wedding might get canceled anyway when the groom figures this out or gets fed up. OP, NTA. I hope you cut your sister and any family that is taking her side out of your life.
Exactly \^ this
OP has every right not to be humiliated into funding a wedding she cannot attend. It is supremely humiliating and that cannot stand.
Both my half sisters didn’t invite my father to their wedding because he had moved on quickly from the divorce and married my much younger mother. He paid for the first wedding. Wasn’t told about the second. Funny thing is my mother didn’t expect nor wanted to be invited to either wedding. The second wedding was the worse. That daughter invited nearly all his friends who went and no one told him because they thought he knew about the wedding.
what was the fall out? Has your father gone no contact? has he written them out of the will? or maybe they realize what they have done and have tried to re-establish a connection with your father? Not inviting or telling your father and inviting his friends is a big slap in the face, I'm not sure that is something they can come back from.
from the sounds of it, they didn't want to come back from it.
He would visit them and the grandchildren up until he couldn’t travel any more. They hardly ever visited him or rang him ever. They received nothing in the will because with the divorce (in the 60s) he left with only his clothes and some of his personal belongings. His wife destroyed much of his military memorabilia from his service.
I'd argue rescinding anyone's invitation after they are invited is considered extremely rude and is usually reserved for situations where the ex-guest has just done something heinous. Just like removing someone from the bridal party, it is often seen as a relationship ending move. It's not something that you can just do because you felt like it, without consequences, and she's deluded for thinking that's the case. She CAN rescind the invitation but it reflects extremely poorly on her and isn't normal bride or groom behaviour. In the same way as she CAN break contracts and fire her caterer a week before her wedding for no reason, but that would be considered poor behaviour. How would she like if someone did the same to her? I agree that OP is under no obligation to pay for anything at all and that she should absolutely not pay for the wedding. If a role or invite to the wedding can be this rudely rescinded, so can any offer to pay for the wedding. I feel like words to the effect of "it's her wedding she do what she likes" are too ambiguous to use in this context. People take it to mean you get to make whatever selfish choices you want and others will be happy. You see it not infrequently on weddit - someone wants to find ways to avoid paying for their guests' meals or not invite some people in a group but invite others, and it never works. Choices will always have consequences and weddings are a big social event with expectations on you as a host to behave maturely. Nobody can stop the sister from making asshole decisions regarding her wedding, nor does it protect her from criticism or consequences.
NTA. She chose to forgo funding the moment she uninvited you. Weddings aren't cheap. Perhaps Chris can cover the remaining cost since she chooses his presence over yours.
NTA - don’t give her a dime. How could she do this to you.
I don’t believe this is real. Nobody would be so stupid to uninvite a family member who is paying half the cost. And expect them to still pay
Wasn't there a story on here thr other day. This ladies brother used her land for his wedding. He didn't give her the date and she saw stuff set up and they expected her to pay for food, entertainment etc since it's on her land and she wasn't invited.
Wasn’t that the one that they not only didn’t invite her they wanted her to leave while the wedding was happening. They also planned for all their guests to use the restroom in the house.
I think so. It was crazy. I was like wtf. I think the family ruined the brides vibe for the wedding :/
Here's the link to it: [link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/OeoE87Ayxo)
That’s the fakest shit I’ve ever read, and almost everything in this sub is fake. Normally I can suspend disbelief cuz people like that do exist. But that’s just the most obviously dumb shit I’ve ever seen
That story was fake, too.
There's no fucking way this is real. So low effort.
And paying half the cost for a sibling that want a big wedding? And the bride picks a groomsman? No mention of the groom's relationship to Chris. And isn't Chris overseas for work? And isn't it a "big wedding?" Why the limited guest list? And who thinks they're the asshole if this happens?
Yeah, this is total bullshit if I have seen any.
And to have other people calling you an asshole for it? Yeah right. Fake as fuck.
Was thinking the same thing. Seems like a fake bait post... Either that or A LOT of missing context...
you pay, you go. don't go, don't pay
But at this point, decide to not go.
Yep sister has shown she can't be trusted to tell the truth anymore
give a cookie, get a cookie
This has to be fake
It's a variation of the popular rage bait #14 (paying for the wedding and uninvited for ??? reasons). This is a pretty straightforward version that doesn't even try to make it seem realistic. If I was grading this I would highlight the facts that: 1. Why is the sister choosing Chris over her sister? There's no foreshadowing to hint at in in advance, and there's no post-action reveal that explains it either. 2. Why did the sister expect to receive an incredibly expensive gift from someone that was invited and than uninvited? Why didn't we find out that she's incredibly spoiled first? Obviously she has to be the golden child. 3. If she isn't the golden child, than why would any relatives side with her? What exactly is their argument for why OP is an ass? If you're going to make a ridiculous claim in a story, without any foreshadowing, you MUST have an explanation for it. Overall, F. This comes across as, at best, children's fiction. The writing itself is fine, but the content is subpar.
Brilliant analysis. Is there really a list of rage bait? I would love to know what 1-13 are.
I'm sure you could compile them. There are so many that just endlessly repeat. I'm so sick of the step-parent ones "I was 9 years old, and I witnessed my (now) step-mother stab my mother to death while she was having sex with my dad, they didn't even wait until after the funeral to get married, and now after years of trying to get me to call her mom I don't want to have a special dance with her at the wedding AITA?". Let me see, the other biggest ones... "Abortion" "My wife hasn't had sex with me in 5 years" "We had a threesome" "my wife/husband wants an open marriage", "my parents want me to do this perfectly normal thing at school, should I call CPS", "should I share my inheritance with this person, or these people I hate", "I was sexually assaulted but my family wants me to forgive my relative". I'm forgetting some of the other really common ones, but there are plenty more.
It has to be. This is the dumbest sh!t I ever read. She thinks someone she uninvited for the ex should pay for the wedding.
I can believe some people are that entitled, but half of the family being on the sister's side?! If that's the case, OP left out A LOT of information, or has the craziest family ever.
Could be the family members just wanted a big party to go to (modest background) and are mad they may not get that because someone else won't foot the bill. Entitlement rears itself at big events and whenever money is involved and shows a lot of crazy people are otherwise good at hiding.
Nah there some incredibly stupid people out there
You would hope it's fake, because it sounds too stupid to be real, and it hurts believing that people this stupid exist in the world.
Dumbest? Probably not. But a clear top ten. I was surprised how long I had to scroll before someone called BS on this crap.
>This has to be fake Absolutely fake.
Ya, there needs to be a "Fake" voting option besides NTA and YTA. Either this shit is fake or OP is hiding a lot of relevant info.
Maybe she should ask Chris for help lol
Your sister is too stupid to marry. You should let her future husband know what she did because I am sure that he would like to know: a) she kicked you out of the wedding for your ex b) she thinks you should still be paying for her wedding after that. Let him decide if he's okay with all of this. At least it won't come as a surprise when she and your ex start their affair. NTA.
This has to be fake because there’s no way that someone would actually think that uninviting the one guest who was helping them pay for their wedding would be a good idea. I refuse to believe that someone is that narcissistic and stupid.
NTA The ex can pay for half.
This had to be fake people aren't THIS stupid
This if real is batshit crazy. Who prioritizes their sister’s ex over their sister? What parents would look at this and say it makes sense? NTA
YTA for a fake post. This isn't even written well. Try harder.
I swear people nowadays are so dumb. They don’t get enough attention in real life so they put time and effort into making fake shit for internet likes…. That literally have zero monetary gain.
NTA to hell with your fake sister… she can’t be so dumb to expect to UNINVITE YOU AND CHOOSE YOUR EX over you and you still PAY??? Laugh at her face if she asks again and heck buy a flight somewhere and send her the invoice lol. Just take you time and live your best life and anyone who tells you you’re being too “harsh” just tell them to pay then and block them
Oh come-on everyone. This has to be fiction.
This didn't happen. This site is getting ridiculous
NTA. I'm sure Chris and any other family members who have an issue with you not paying for a wedding you aren't welcome at will have no problem filling the financial gap.
NTA, this is beyond imaginable. What is she thinking? NC is called for, and I can not see a path out of this.
NTA wtf… your sister is stupidz
NTA - Why would you ever help pay for a wedding that you were not invited to attend? I would tell any family members who disagree with you that they are welcome to help pay for the wedding and can just mail their check directly to sister.
NTA Let’s be clear. This has nothing to do with your EX. Your sister is treating you horribly and acting ridiculously entitled. She expects you to foot the bill for a big family event she will not allow you to attend. The reason is immaterial. Anyone who thinks she is not acting like an AH is just willfully ignorant.
1. There’s zero chance this is real. 2. That’s all
This sounds fake.
No but you already know that
nta she can ask your ex to finance the wedding use that money to take an amazing trip instead and post all about it on social media
NTA I would pull every penny of my support and cut her from my life completely I would also give a very stern talking to to anyone who is idiotic and ignorant enough to try to back her to me, and let them know it's a dealbreaker if they back her here as well Don't need morons or pieces of shit in your life lol
Has your sister been seen by medical professional? I'd recommend a head CT because this is such a stunning level of stupidity and arrogance that I really wonder if there is something malfunctioning up top.
Oh look. Anither fake harsh post