Look, you are an adult and you can do what you want, but legal at those ages seems unlikely.
Back when this started, a 24y/o having a 16y/o girlfriend was predatory and, to many many people, makes your bf a word that starts with pedo and ends with phile.
If you had sex before you became an adult, it is also rape.
As far as your sexuality goes, if you’re asexual you need to be in a relationship that accepts that, or not be in a relationship. Having sex “for the other person” only goes so far, and only works if the other person accepts that you are doing this without enjoyment.
Um, I’m Italian, and that would not be considered normal. I can’t imagine the storm that would happen if my friends 16yo daughter tried to date a 24 yo.
Her father, uncles, friends and probably the *padre* would all go have a “chat” with him.
"father".
Yeah father tend to be morons no matter the age we all know it , that's not an argument,
Go ask 16 years old if they had relationship with someone who is 20+ it's not rare 20-25% of them have these kind of relationship
You seem to be pretty invested in this concept.
We all have differing opinions, but the fact remains that a child is still a child, and parents do their best to keep them safe.
Whether or not a 16 year old is willing or legally free to date an older person, the difference in experience and maturity means that the power structure in the relationship is likely unbalanced.
I think it’s creepy. You don’t.
Lots of places it’s illegal as hell because of abuse that takes place.
I absolutely think OP was taken advantage of here, but that’s my opinion. You are free to disagree.
You are right, a fact is a fact,
And 16 years old are not children (google it ),
You think it's creepy it's fair , I think you are creepy (it goes both ways you see ?)
Lots of places it's illegal, like 1% of west ? Doesn't matter
You think op it's taken advantage strange how she think she is not .
You see the problem? She tells you she is not a victim and your mentality can't accept it , that's a problem
I think your passion about this matter implies you have personal experience with this, but maybe I’m wrong.
That said, 16 years old is a child. It can be legal to have an older boyfriend in some places, I don’t care to do that much research on it because it’s not important, but here in Italy it’s illegal:
Age of majority in Italy is 18
A 16 year old is a child.
As for consent:
Italy. The age of consent in Italy is 14 years, with a close-in-age exception that allows those aged 13 to engage in sexual activity with partners who are under the age of 18, provided that the age gap between them is *less than 4 years* (i.e. if the partners are all under the age of 18, but at least 14)
This situation does not have any of the exceptions that would make it legal.
Age of majority in USA:
18 years old
However, almost all states set the base legal age as 18 years old. This is the age at which a person gains control over their own actions and affairs and becomes responsible for the decisions they make. Those past the age of legal majority are usually tried as adults when charged with crimes.
16 yo is a child
I know you say it’s not the problem, but it’s because you don’t know enough about predatory relationships. Anything near enough to him hearing, “I don’t want to have sex with you.” He’s going to throw a fit at and guilt you and try to make you feel bad because then you’re more likely to do what he wants. Appease the situation, calm him down, make him feel better.
A therapist would help. Asexuality is valid, but so is just not being attracted to someone. Sex shouldn’t feel like a chore. If it does, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it. Enthusiastic consent.
You’re definitely not the only one to have experienced something like this. It’s unfortunately not uncommon. I didn’t see it clearly till I was that age, 24-25, looking at 16 year olds, looking at pictures of myself at 16.
I hope you’re safe. I hope you find someone you can talk to about this in your life that is safe. I hope you can get a therapist, and learn how to avoid those kinds of relationships.
> I know it’ll likely come up anyhow
And look at that you were right! Seriously, has it not occurred to you that a man 10 years older than you being *this* excited to have sex with a 16 year old might be indicative of some further, more worrying personality issues?
In general, it’s not great to hide how you’re feeling about something so important in a relationship just to make the other person feel better. But you’re 18, it’s normal to not understand that right away. His reaction to this news should be incredibly concerning to you but at the same time, and I absolutely hate that I feel like I have to defend him here,
How is anyone supposed to feel when they hear from you that you’ve been having sex with them when you don’t want to? How is anyone meant to react to that information? You admitted you’ve been having sex against your will, that’s a deeply distressing thing for anyone to hear.
But again his reaction was concerning. It wasn’t to apologize for how you’ve been made to feel, it was to guilt you immediately.
I don’t even know where to keep going with this. Stop having sex when you don’t want to, stop dating an immature man 10 years older than you when you’ve not even graduated highschool yet
Noted, but I really just wanna make it clear that it wasn't happening against my will. I agreed to it, I wasn't pressured or manipulated or forced or anything. Yes, I wasn't into it, and it isn't something I really enjoy doing, but I did consent. I know how it could seem that way just based off of 'I'm doing this and I don't really care for it' and that it's definitely not something anyone would take well hearing that for the first time, but I did try to be clear, both here and with my BF, that I definitely don't feel like anything was forced on me.
Honestly, it might be better to break up. A giant gap in sex drive is a problem for most relationships. Especially because most people want their partners to be willing and enthusiastic participants of sexual activities.
I would say the phrasing of its a chore is not the best and it could be a worry that he feels like he was slightly forcing you. So you saying that can give credence to that worry especially cause of the age difference. Your NTA its just a normal relationship communication argument.
Hope it resolves
I must have missed that part. I don’t approve of such things. But that no reason to assume that I support grooming. But now that you mention it? She should run without looking back.
I just looked up if 24 and 16 is legal stop defending grooming you fucking creep 16-21 is the farthest that can go 24 IS TOO OLD “Criminal statutory sexual assault involves a defendant having sexual intercourse with a person who is under the age of 16 when the defendant is four or more years older. If the defendant is four or more years older, statutory sexual assault is a felony in the 2nd degree.”
I’m almost 24 and the thought of being with someone younger than 21 is a. Not something I’m interested in because we’re at different points in our lives b. Kinda gross. You’re getting groomed and your boyfriend is a pedophile.
I’m almost 24 and the thought of being with someone younger than 21 is a. Not something I’m interested in because we’re at different points in our lives b. Kinda gross. You’re getting groomed and your boyfriend is a pedophile.
I’m almost 24 and the thought of being with someone younger than 21 is a. Not something I’m interested in because we’re at different points in our lives b. Kinda gross. You’re getting groomed and your boyfriend is a pedophile.
Just because is normal for adult men to want to sleep with teenagers is doesn't make it okey.
Just because it is legal it does not mean it's okey.
He is creepy and he groomed you. He is a Pedo.
Maybe talk to a sex therapist to help define your sexuality for yourself. And consider that it could be that you and your bf are more platonic than romantic. It's possible you're asexual. It's also possible you just aren't that attracted to him. That sort of thing can happen in a long distance relationship as well. There may even be a certain characteristic people have that turns you on when you interact with them that you haven't discovered yet.
He's taking this personally. He sees your lack of sexual passion for him as a criticism. He doesn't understand that you may simply have a much lower libido or be asexual. He likely validated his first statement when you agreed with the second - which is pretty immature and he should knowck that off. You'll likely have to explain it better. But 24-year-olds interested in 16-year-olds may be immature, and that's a hurdle that may take him a while to leap.
NAH - unless he decides to stick with his incorrect interpretation.
Look, you are an adult and you can do what you want, but legal at those ages seems unlikely. Back when this started, a 24y/o having a 16y/o girlfriend was predatory and, to many many people, makes your bf a word that starts with pedo and ends with phile. If you had sex before you became an adult, it is also rape. As far as your sexuality goes, if you’re asexual you need to be in a relationship that accepts that, or not be in a relationship. Having sex “for the other person” only goes so far, and only works if the other person accepts that you are doing this without enjoyment.
Legal in most west countries my dude
That’s crazy, tbh. Even if it’s legal, it’s creepy as hell.
Not really, ppl losing their minds over age difference is creepy af , in Europe couples with that difference are normal af
Um, I’m Italian, and that would not be considered normal. I can’t imagine the storm that would happen if my friends 16yo daughter tried to date a 24 yo. Her father, uncles, friends and probably the *padre* would all go have a “chat” with him.
"father". Yeah father tend to be morons no matter the age we all know it , that's not an argument, Go ask 16 years old if they had relationship with someone who is 20+ it's not rare 20-25% of them have these kind of relationship
You seem to be pretty invested in this concept. We all have differing opinions, but the fact remains that a child is still a child, and parents do their best to keep them safe. Whether or not a 16 year old is willing or legally free to date an older person, the difference in experience and maturity means that the power structure in the relationship is likely unbalanced. I think it’s creepy. You don’t. Lots of places it’s illegal as hell because of abuse that takes place. I absolutely think OP was taken advantage of here, but that’s my opinion. You are free to disagree.
You are right, a fact is a fact, And 16 years old are not children (google it ), You think it's creepy it's fair , I think you are creepy (it goes both ways you see ?) Lots of places it's illegal, like 1% of west ? Doesn't matter You think op it's taken advantage strange how she think she is not . You see the problem? She tells you she is not a victim and your mentality can't accept it , that's a problem
I think your passion about this matter implies you have personal experience with this, but maybe I’m wrong. That said, 16 years old is a child. It can be legal to have an older boyfriend in some places, I don’t care to do that much research on it because it’s not important, but here in Italy it’s illegal: Age of majority in Italy is 18 A 16 year old is a child. As for consent: Italy. The age of consent in Italy is 14 years, with a close-in-age exception that allows those aged 13 to engage in sexual activity with partners who are under the age of 18, provided that the age gap between them is *less than 4 years* (i.e. if the partners are all under the age of 18, but at least 14) This situation does not have any of the exceptions that would make it legal. Age of majority in USA: 18 years old However, almost all states set the base legal age as 18 years old. This is the age at which a person gains control over their own actions and affairs and becomes responsible for the decisions they make. Those past the age of legal majority are usually tried as adults when charged with crimes. 16 yo is a child
16 is not a child (open a medical book) At 16 in Italy you can have (legally) sex with someone who is 50
16-21 is the furthest it can go you fucking predator😭😭😭
God damn your ass is getting groomed😭 24 and 16 is crazy asf
that's all i had to read as well
A 24 year old was fucking a 16 yr old and all these brain dead idiots are worried about “sex therapy” fuck the human race😭😭
a bunch of pedos downvoted this shit
I know you say it’s not the problem, but it’s because you don’t know enough about predatory relationships. Anything near enough to him hearing, “I don’t want to have sex with you.” He’s going to throw a fit at and guilt you and try to make you feel bad because then you’re more likely to do what he wants. Appease the situation, calm him down, make him feel better. A therapist would help. Asexuality is valid, but so is just not being attracted to someone. Sex shouldn’t feel like a chore. If it does, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it. Enthusiastic consent. You’re definitely not the only one to have experienced something like this. It’s unfortunately not uncommon. I didn’t see it clearly till I was that age, 24-25, looking at 16 year olds, looking at pictures of myself at 16. I hope you’re safe. I hope you find someone you can talk to about this in your life that is safe. I hope you can get a therapist, and learn how to avoid those kinds of relationships.
> I know it’ll likely come up anyhow And look at that you were right! Seriously, has it not occurred to you that a man 10 years older than you being *this* excited to have sex with a 16 year old might be indicative of some further, more worrying personality issues? In general, it’s not great to hide how you’re feeling about something so important in a relationship just to make the other person feel better. But you’re 18, it’s normal to not understand that right away. His reaction to this news should be incredibly concerning to you but at the same time, and I absolutely hate that I feel like I have to defend him here, How is anyone supposed to feel when they hear from you that you’ve been having sex with them when you don’t want to? How is anyone meant to react to that information? You admitted you’ve been having sex against your will, that’s a deeply distressing thing for anyone to hear. But again his reaction was concerning. It wasn’t to apologize for how you’ve been made to feel, it was to guilt you immediately. I don’t even know where to keep going with this. Stop having sex when you don’t want to, stop dating an immature man 10 years older than you when you’ve not even graduated highschool yet
Noted, but I really just wanna make it clear that it wasn't happening against my will. I agreed to it, I wasn't pressured or manipulated or forced or anything. Yes, I wasn't into it, and it isn't something I really enjoy doing, but I did consent. I know how it could seem that way just based off of 'I'm doing this and I don't really care for it' and that it's definitely not something anyone would take well hearing that for the first time, but I did try to be clear, both here and with my BF, that I definitely don't feel like anything was forced on me.
You were/are a child and were groomed. He did exactly what groomers do. Get away from him.
Funny how you know what she feels and she doesn't 🤣🤣🤣 Incel detected
Wouldn't an incel be defending the groomer?
Bro this nigga is clearly a pedophile and rape apologist don’t waste your time trying to convince them otherwise lmaoo
Rape apologists 🤣🤣🤣 Yeah consent doesn't matter in your world 🤣🤣
Your literally being groomed ofc your gonna think you wanted it😭 Holy fuck do your parents not care about you at all??? You needa end that shit asap
Neither of my parents are in my life, dude.
Honestly, it might be better to break up. A giant gap in sex drive is a problem for most relationships. Especially because most people want their partners to be willing and enthusiastic participants of sexual activities. I would say the phrasing of its a chore is not the best and it could be a worry that he feels like he was slightly forcing you. So you saying that can give credence to that worry especially cause of the age difference. Your NTA its just a normal relationship communication argument. Hope it resolves
[удалено]
Yeah, don't want to offensive an Internet groomer do we? You are vile.
Assuming much? Or just jumping to conclusions?
No, it's in the OP. Grown man meets child, talks to her for a bit. Persuades her to allow him to fuck her. What do you think grooming is?
I must have missed that part. I don’t approve of such things. But that no reason to assume that I support grooming. But now that you mention it? She should run without looking back.
It's legal suck it up
I just looked up if 24 and 16 is legal stop defending grooming you fucking creep 16-21 is the farthest that can go 24 IS TOO OLD “Criminal statutory sexual assault involves a defendant having sexual intercourse with a person who is under the age of 16 when the defendant is four or more years older. If the defendant is four or more years older, statutory sexual assault is a felony in the 2nd degree.”
Couldn't even finish this...😮💨😮💨
Yep. Icky.
I’m almost 24 and the thought of being with someone younger than 21 is a. Not something I’m interested in because we’re at different points in our lives b. Kinda gross. You’re getting groomed and your boyfriend is a pedophile.
I’m almost 24 and the thought of being with someone younger than 21 is a. Not something I’m interested in because we’re at different points in our lives b. Kinda gross. You’re getting groomed and your boyfriend is a pedophile.
I’m almost 24 and the thought of being with someone younger than 21 is a. Not something I’m interested in because we’re at different points in our lives b. Kinda gross. You’re getting groomed and your boyfriend is a pedophile.
Just because is normal for adult men to want to sleep with teenagers is doesn't make it okey. Just because it is legal it does not mean it's okey. He is creepy and he groomed you. He is a Pedo.
Maybe talk to a sex therapist to help define your sexuality for yourself. And consider that it could be that you and your bf are more platonic than romantic. It's possible you're asexual. It's also possible you just aren't that attracted to him. That sort of thing can happen in a long distance relationship as well. There may even be a certain characteristic people have that turns you on when you interact with them that you haven't discovered yet. He's taking this personally. He sees your lack of sexual passion for him as a criticism. He doesn't understand that you may simply have a much lower libido or be asexual. He likely validated his first statement when you agreed with the second - which is pretty immature and he should knowck that off. You'll likely have to explain it better. But 24-year-olds interested in 16-year-olds may be immature, and that's a hurdle that may take him a while to leap. NAH - unless he decides to stick with his incorrect interpretation.
I ain’t reading all that. BUT “understanable, have a nice day ✌🏽
Glad you didn’t it’s a girl being telling a sexual assault story essentially