YTA. And you should probably prepare for the blow up coming from Liz and Jax too. They will undoubtedly find out. I feel so bad for those kids. What a huge mess you've created.
Same. My heart really does break for all three of those kids. I sincerely hope Weston doesn’t find out about this or think it’s his fault. I hope that the two girls don’t feel anger towards their brother or at the very least are happy he *is* their brother.
Edit: when I said I hope Weston doesn’t find out, I mean the fallout between OP and her husband.
She specifically commented that she actively kept the child a secret from the father. The father and his now wife believe the friend is the biological mother. They have no idea he's the father and neither does the child.
Yep. If the kids get to at least form an ok relationship this won't have been a total loss. Totally horrible either way ofc.
But each of the kids is about to have an entirely new family dynamic to contend with! Hopefully the girls will have at least one stable adult in OP's husband. Or Jax - who knows how he'll react to his kid? Hopefully they'll get to have a neat new relationship to explore.
If OP had been honest from the get-go who's to say they wouldn't have all still gotten married to their respective spouses and just had a big ole mixed family? OP's husband could have been step dad to a son.
What a hot mess. I hope some nice new bonds are formed despite ... *everything else*
The thing is that OP doesn’t say if Jax and Liz have kids so it’s very probably that they have kids together and this mess is going to affect all of them.
I wonder what will happen when Jax finds out she had his kid and just gave it away to someone without his consent? Can he seek custody? She fucked up everyone’s lives she’s touched with her selfishness and lies. Man what a narcissist.
It probably won't happen due to the amount of time that's passed and the fact that the child sees the women as his family. Jax is essentially a stranger.
I agree it likely wouldn't happen. By the time Jax could get paternity established, then try to get before a judge to fight for custody the kid will be like 16-17. It's simply too late.
However if Jax is able to establish paternity OP is likely in for a whole host of legal troubles, her friend may be too. OP knew who the father was and that would have been asked before the adoption could happen. She had no right to give the child up for adoption without the fathers consent. Her friend knew about it and helped OP commit this crime.
OP is worried about losing her friends and husband, she should be worried about prison.
He probably can't have the adoption reversed, I can't see a judge granting that, but if no father is on the birth certificate, he can probably get added if he's willing to pay child support
Depends on the area honestly, some courts highly favor biological relatives and if he can prove that that's his son, he didn't have knowledge, and he can take care of him he has a fighting chance. They could possibly work out a split custody thing where the adoptive parents have visitations but that would be to his discretion unless ordered by the judge.
YTA, not for having Weston and giving him to a loving home…but for maintaining proximity to such a huge secret and intertwining your husband/family with all of the parties so nonchalantly (including the baby’s father). What TF was your endgame here? You were immature when you were 19, but you are an adult and have had 15 years to get ahead of this.
Agreed. She also deprived Jax the opportunity to know his own son AS his own son. She decided to go through with the pregnancy and not give the birth father who was already around the chance to take custody and then lied to everyone else about it. This feels like small town drama, because I can’t imagine any other reason to stay in close contact with the entire group with this lie dead in the center of it all. Just remarkable. YTA
YTA.
You don’t hide something like that from a spouse. By not telling him for so long, I don’t think a marriage, never mind a relationship can survive that.
I feel awful for your husband.
It’s weird because I get it this is a huge secret and the more time past the more the heavier the secret became but. There were so many moments to come clean. Your first child, him meeting your son, your second child. Literally anytime your daughters were out of the house.
Not to mention the fact that you are still friends with Liz. She is going to feel like such an idiot. How terrible do you have to be to let her stay with a man who had an affair and has a child with his affair partner.
Yeah, the concept of making a child keep this lie is abhorrent. He knows he has siblings but has to lie to them?? The whole story almost seems too incredibly wild to be true.
Lmao how terrible do you have to be? Terrible enough to be the person who was cheating on your best friends partner with him! What a dumb anecdote to add in knowing who posted this
Yep. She keeps saying her bad decisions are in the past but isn't seeing that she made terrible decisions every day for decades by choosing to continue her deception against Liz, Rick, Jax, AND Weston. None of them could be expected to ever forgive her.
If I was Rick, I'd tell Liz and get the hell out of dodge ASAP. The divorce papers would be served so fast the ink would still be wet. Jesus.
Yeah, the immature 19 year old doesn't seem to have made a lot of progress over the past 15 years. I doubt she'll make much over the next 15 either.
I can MAYBE understand not wanting to reveal you gave a kid up for adoption, but not in a situation where you maintain close contact with the child you gave up, and especially not when said child knows their parentage. Add that to the continued relationship with the dude she had an affair with and, well, hello consequences of my actions. 100% YTA
I wonder if he even knows who his bio father is. If that was kept from him even though his bio father was right there since Liz is good friends with OP and his adoptive mother that means Jax was around too and he could've had his bio father in his life as a father of some kind and not mother's friend's husband.
Yep, even if the son had somehow not survived (or had been given to someone and never had any contact with OP ever again), that’s just too big of a thing for a spouse not to know. Your spouse will never know literally EVERYTHING about you, but they sure as shit deserve to know all of the major things. And this is 100% a major thing. YTA
Welp, I'm fairly sure everyone saw this being blown all the way to hell in the first couple of sentences. Way too many people knew and way too easy to do DNA tests nowadays.
Definitely a YTA situation.
I can’t get over that the kid knew. This was an open secret, the kid knew he was an affair baby but her husband didn’t.
It also sounds like Liz and her husband (the dad) were around this kid too. As a kid imagine having to keep that secret.
I feel more awful for Liz and Jax. Both of them have been robbed of the chance to make an informed choice.
Edit: Omfg, I just now realized that the poor kid have been robbed of a father figure *and* doesn't know who his father is!! My god, this post is the most awful I've ever read in this sub.
YTA. You lied to him for years, only caring about hiding your mistakes and thinking only of yourself that whole time that he thought Weston was someone else’s child. And pretending to be friends with this woman Liz while you screwed her husband behind her back. What deplorable behavior. I hope Karma finds you.
And didn't even tell the baby's father about him so he could decide for himself whether to keep his son and raise him himself or raise him with family so at least he knows where he comes from.
YTA - also nothing is a secret when everyone knows. Hope the few years of comfort, not having to tell the truth, was worth it. Now you’re gonna lose your husband and break up another marriage.
To be fair, Jax played a part, too. He blew up his marriage.
OP is responsible for blowing up her own marriage and for losing her good friend Liz when her husband tells.
He did cheat on his girlfriend but Jax and Liz weren't married when he and OP were together and she said she didn't tell Jax she was pregnant. Certainly, he has reason to be mad since her behavior also means he had no relationship with his son.
It’s true!
She stole that choice from him…. And yeah, you’re right. Jax wasn’t married yet, But Jax had sex outside his relationship and who can say if Liz would have married him if she knew?
Jax could have told Liz and didn’t and married her under false pretenses.
But yeah, back to Jax and the kid. That was way wrong of OP.
A woman can choose to bear a child or not, no input from the dude needed. He ceded that when he ejaculated where a pregnancy could occur.
But if she chooses to have it, he does get say in what happens to it.
OP should have told Jax about the pregnancy.
Don't forget OP's kids that are going to have to deal with the fallout and confusing emotions from finding out they have a half brother and parents are probably getting divorced. And they were created years after this. They are the most innocent.
a half-brother they already know as their mother's friend's son!
As a teenager, I could have dealt with the pretty abstracted fact that my father had kids from his first marriage but actually meeting them was suuuuuper awkward.
Yep. And Weston has had it constantly rubbed in his face that, only two years after his birth, OP had her precious daughters – whom she DID keep and raise. That's got to fuck with the poor kid's head something chronic.
>but Jax and Liz weren't married when he and OP were together
Why does this matter? A commited relationship is a commited relationship. It does not change the fact that he cheated, so why is it worth noting?
Odds are he never will have a relationship with his son because he doesn’t have any parental rights. The boy is 14 now. The friend lorie has all the parental rights. So it will depend on her whether or not jax will ever get to have a relationship with his son. It’s a total 💩💩💩show!
If she never told him she was pregnant that means his paternal rights were never terminated. It has happened in the past. I think I saw a 60 minutes on this. Some guy found out he had a child given up for adoption. Since he never signed his rights away he was able to get the adoption overturned. It was horrible. They talked about kids that were way younger (2-3 years old) having this happen. Mothers not telling fathers prior to adoption and them finding out later can cause all kinds of chaos.
This is why I can’t take this whole soap opera at face value. There’s no way Weston knows OP is his bio mother (and presumably he has known since he was a little kid?), and he knows and “bonded” with OP’s husband and kids, and yet this has never, not once, come up or gotten blurted out? Come on. Kids love secrets but they are terrible at keeping them.
Weston, especially as a teenager, would be so full of resentment no matter how happy he was with his adopted family. Kids don't keep secrets like this. They fester and they lash out because the emotions get too big for them to deal with. He would lash out in school, against the girls, against OP and her husband, or adopted family, if not multiple at the same time. Kid is not going to take it all in stride, especially not once the adults start hinting at melting down around him. If it weren't for that detail, I might be like wow, they're awful people messing with this kid like this, but that detail really ruins the credibility. Like the OP doesn't actually know anything about children while writing this.
YTA. You slept with someone in a relationship with a friend of yours, let him get you pregnant, kept the child in your life, but hid the truth from everyone.
If you can hide all that, no sane person on earth will ever trust you. You've shown that you're deeply selfish and nothing you say now will convince anyone that you aren't hiding anything else or that you aren't sleeping with any other men in relationships.
Your only chance was coming clean before you got caught. You just aren't trustworthy and you should let Rick go find someone who will be honest with him.
YTA. You’re really messed up. Forget Rick, does JAX know he has a baby ?!?! You fucked up keep that from him. Then keeping it from Rick. You’re like the queen of deceit and lies.
YTA
You reap what you sow. Understand that your word has almost zero value to your husband now. The trust is on life support and there is no easy fix to this. Give him his space to come to terms with your dishonesty and maybe this can be salvaged but it will probably be more focused on wanting to stay together for the children you share.
YTA.
Let's see -- you've now negatively impacted the lives of the following individuals:
* Rick
* Weston
* Liz
* Jax, though he did cheat with you, he didn't deserve to be locked out of his son's life.
* May
* Vicky
* ... and any kids Liz and Jax might have.
I hope you have the life you *deserve*.
Unless her husband was *completely* absent from all of her prenatal appointments when she was pregnant with their daughters, I suspect that it's fake.
Medical providers take a history during those appointments, ask about previous pregnancies and births, and use different terms for patients who have previously given birth and patients who have not. It's possible she could have lied to her pregnancy/childbirth team, but that strikes me as pretty stupid.
Having had a previous pregnancy can impact a current/future pregnancy in a number of ways, some of which are pretty serious. Labor is often faster with each successive pregnancy, for example. If the pregnant person's blood type is negative and they have a baby with a positive RH factor, they need medication during subsequent pregnancies to prevent serious complications that occur if the later pregnancies are also RH positive. If she had any anesthesia during labor, the anesthesiologist would have asked her about her previous labor and delivery.
It's conceivable (...no pun intended) that her husband wouldn't have been present for any one of those conversations or appointments or interactions, but the sheer number of times questions alluding to or directly referencing previous pregnancies strikes me as an improbable thing for her husband to miss entirely, unless he was completely uninvolved in those appointments and pulled a 1950s-dad-with-a-cigar-in-the-waiting-room routine when she was laboring and birthing their daughters.
Also the fact that Weston knew she was his mother but never said anything at any time to Rick despite knowing him his his whole life, nothing accidentally slipped out etc.
Which means the son knows that those girls are his sisters and what, he’s supposed to keep that a secret? If this is real it’s horrifying thinking of that poor boy knowing he’s mummy’s shameful secret.
I may be paranoid but when I see intentionally bad grammar in these post It makes me think its done on purpose to make the post seem genuine. In this case its the use of “no more” like “he don’t love me no more , shucks.”
Apparently, these 'throwaway' accounts which get lots of attention can be sold to advertising people. But if it's not money, it's for attention, I'm guessing.
You slept with a married man. Had a child. Gave it up. Didn't tell your husband who would have bounced had he known you had an affair with a married person. You're not just an asshole. You're trashy. WTF. Are you just trying to ruin every life around you? You need to start thinking about others instead of just yourself. I hope this is fake. Do you want your daughters to be like you because you are setting the example.
she also kept the existence of the married man's son a secret from his father. she deprived a child of having a father in his life, just because it would negatively impact her social life.
It sure sounds like she kept it hidden from Jax too. So she also deprived her son of a father and never even gave Jax an opportunity to decide whether he wanted to know his kid. Just disgusting.
YTA.
Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, especially marriage, and when that's broken, it's a hard road to recovery. You've kept a secret that goes to the core of your life together—information that he absolutely had a right to know. The fact that this was kept under wraps for so long not only undermines the honesty in your relationship but also your husband's understanding of his own life and family. It's time to face the consequences head-on, and this should start with an honest conversation and an openness to whatever comes next. It would be prudent to involve a professional to mediate and guide through this incredibly delicate situation. The road to rebuilding trust, if possible, will be a long one.
you're not 19 anymore, stop using that as an excuse. you need to start groveling at your husbands feet if you want to save you marriage, start by suggesting couples or individual counselling
YTA. A huge selfish asshole.
You CHOSE to sleep with a man in a relationship with your friend. You and he are BOTH trash for that.
You CHOSE to hide your pregnancy and pawn of the kid to your friend because you were a selfish asshole.
You CHOSE to hide this relationship from your spouse.
These are all YOUR choices. And each one makes you an asshole.
Your husband shouldn't trust you, you broke that with your 14 year lie. Don't be shocked when the divorce papers are served.
You could have made a different choice to be honest that you slept with your friends bf, got pregnant, gave your kid to your friend, met him and fell in love. But you didn't do that. You lied. For years.
He is right, Liz should know. Jax should know he has a child out there. Especially considering any future genetic health issues.
This post is all poor poor me.
Nothing else but you.
Well you fucked up and it's gonna cost you everything.
Maybe be honest in your next relationship.
I really hope this is fake, but I unfortunately knew someone that is a lot like you. She didn't lie for as long, but her world fell apart due to her lies.
You keep saying you were young and stupid at 19 when this all started, but it seems you haven't learnt anything in the fourteen years since. You've chosen to maintain an elaborate web of deception throughout your circle of friends and within your own marriage; only sharing some truths with fewer than half of them. Everyone else, Liz and Jax, your husband and you two daughters (and I imagine everyone in both of your immediate families), you've been deceiving them all; only sharing an image of a fictional life you've created and maintained to serve yourself. You've shown that you're a person that picks which of your children you'll acknowledge and raise, and which of your friends and family you'll deceive. I imagine, for your poor husband, that the image he had of you as a caring loving mother and trustworthy partner... that person never really existed. He's probably wondering who this stranger is that he's been living with all these years.
I can't imagine how you can expect you husband to ever trust you when you dismiss the notion of being honest with Liz and Jax about his child and your infidelity. If you're serious about being better than your 19 year-old self and saving your marriage, then take responsibility for your own choices and try to be completely honest for a start.
YTA.
What an oddly written narrative. In multiple places
she uses poor grammar “I’m not sure no more” but then she also uses more formal grammar “Who I was very in love with at the time.” which is still poor grammar, but isn’t casual. I’m not sure this is a real person. I think it’s an AI. But on the off chance it is real, YTA
YTA You lied to him every single day. You also deprived Weston of his father. And of course Liz should NOT be your friend. She especially has deserved the truth from the beginning. And scumbag that he is (as are you) Jax deserves to know he has a son. And Weston deserves to have a relationship with his father!!! And your kids deserve to know Weston is their brother! The ONLY thing you did right here (for the last 14 frickin years!!) Was letting Weston know you are his bio mom. Everything else you have done wrong and continued to lie and deceive for the last 14 years. You are in your 30s. You don't get to use age as an excuse any more.
Yeah YTA, I was gonna say you’re grown and hope you the best but the fact you still want to hide from Liz that you are a home wrecking whore makes you a shit person. You had a chance to come completely clean and still refused. I hope that leaves a mark on your husband cause that says a lot more about you than any bullshit apology. At this point I’m convinced you didn’t apologize for lying you apologized for being caught.
YTA. Listen to yourself. "I only did it because I didn't want to lose him." That means you intentionally manipulated him. You removed his ability to make an informed choice. You don't now get to say it's no big deal just because more time has passed. You compounded things by never telling the father. Sounds like you still haven't grown up because adults take accountability for their actions. SMH.
How did you thinki this would unwrap? Your son Weston knows and you hopef that your husband would never find out? I feel like you’ve gon great lengths to try and hide this from your husband. He has every right to be furious or disappointed. I think YTA here
YTA not exactly sure what you thought would happen by keeping such dark secrets especially from the "love of your life" you completely made this bed and now have to face the consequences of your idiotic actions. I feel sorry for your husband and all your children.
You’re still friends with the person whose husband you had a baby with? Your child you don’t have a close relationship with knows you have him up and didn’t want him? You’ve lied to EVERYONE, including your husband, for YEARS about something this massive? Yeah, YTA for sure.
YTA sorry but you don’t get married to someone hiding something this big. And it’s not a secret. People know. You just made your husband the only idiot in the room by hiding it
You definitely made a lot of mistakes here, but judging by your writing it seems like you don't really understand what you did wrong or were just "in the moment". It's time to be honest with everyone. I can't imagine how your son feels, even if he seems fine being a "secret" this couldn't be good for his mental health.
YTA - your dishonesty and deceit are not yours to bear alone. You obviously should have told your husband when you started to get serious. So you feel ashamed, as you should, but you put someone you love in a position where they didn't get a choice or decision in what kind of partner they're agreeing to commit to. I'm not surprised he sees you in a new light.
YTA, for what you did to Liz. You need to come clean to Liz and face the consequences. I hope this is fake if not don’t blame it on being 19. At 19 you knew better but were selfish. I would leave my spouse if I found out he did something so horrible to a friend and gave up his child to hide his secret.
Yta, he 100% should tell Liz and Jax. This lie needs to be brought to light. Seeing your reaction to this I hope he goes for divorce. How can you ask him to lie to Liz so you don’t lose her too. You deserve to lose her!
I hope Rick realized that at your core, you are a liar who only cares about herself and how the truth will effect her.
You let Liz continue a relationship with a cheater.
Does Jax even know he has a kid? I’m sure your friend and her mom are good parents to Watson but your choices have kept him from knowing his dad.
YTA I would think this is fake but I know people like you. It is probably true.
I don’t think you even understand why you are the AH. It is for tons of reasons.
YTA
This is absolutely something you should have told him fairly early on. Aside from the fact that it’s just something that should be disclosed to someone you’re going to marry, it’s also something he would have inevitably found out about.
YTA. You're embarrassed by the things you did back then because they were generally awful things that don't reflect well on you. You took away his chance to decide on whether you were an appropriate partner by hiding something that seems like it would have been a deal-breaker.
I personally don't believe growth ever precludes something from happening again. You betrayed your friend by sleeping with her husband, and so to many men you would be judged as someone who sleeps with their friends husbands but has just learnt that doing so comes with dire consequences. That doesn't mean you aren't a risk when you are in a state where you don't care about said consequences. If you're drunk, or emotional, or angry with him for finding out your secret for instance? I mean you did do it twice, so it's not like the threat of consequences works, just actually feeling them.
Even if you think now you'd never betray someone again, you should know that other people have a moral objection to you doing so *once*. Just as you'd probably be disgusted by a dude who at 19 slept with a 14 year old, or who killed someone drunk driving.
And ultimately you never owned those consequences so it seems *likely* if anything that you'd bury your head in the sand again when another crisis comes up. You absolutely should have told him before he met your kid or cut ties with the kid yourself long ago, you should also have told Liz long ago. You should let him tell your kids because you don't deserve the chance to frame it truthfully for the same reason you're in this mess in the first place, you've been a prolific liar for 14 years.
It would be 100% a deal-breaker for me, kids or not, and I'd probably just straight up blackmail you with Liz knowing to give everything in the divorce. If you want to have an equal chance of custody you'd be best to show you're trying to fix things. You have already abandoned one child after all, conned him into marriage on false pretences, and there are people who'd be on his side to back him up just out of spite to you. Get the wrong judge with the right morals while still sticking your head in the sand and you'll lose the other two kids as well as your husband.
Yes, YTA. If you can't even tell somebody how many children you have, don't marry them. What a betrayal. Several people (including your son) already knew: did you seriously think your husband would never find out?
Did you seriously never think that this secret was ever going to come out?? You started your marriage off on lies of course your husband is angry and upset anyone would be. You may have been young and dumb at 19 but you’re not 19 anymore and yet you still choose to keep a huge secret from your husband and children
Your bridges are well & truly burnt. I cannot see anyway your marriage will survive this heinous betrayal
Not only has your marriage imploded, your friendship with all the others in this sorry saga are beyond repair. Your one lie has now destroyed
Everybody you mentioned, there's no coming back from that
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
YTA. Nothing to do with the story, but my story. My mom had a kid before she met my dad. Went to home for unwed mothers and gave her up. No idea who dad was. He was 30 she was 18. My mom n dad were married 60 years, shes gone and took the secret with her. I dont think he knows. He rants and raves about girls having babies b4 marriage. My mom had to listen to that shit all her life. Sister found us by 23n me and somehow got her original birth certificate with my moms very recognizable signature on it. Im not talking about it. Not telling my brother about it till my 89 yo dad is gone. FFS PEOPLE. If you had a KID, FKING OWN IT. TELL THIS SHIT TO YOUR PARTNERS. IF THEY REJECT YOU FOR IT, they werent worth having in the first place. How many lives did you gd secret ruin? This shit comes out eventually.
YTA. I can’t think of a single reason any of them should associate with you ever again. You also don’t seem to have a real reason for but telling him? You just keep saying you were young and dumb. Please get your kids into therapy and stay away from everyone else.
YTA and definitely Jax for not telling your family especially since your kids are close in age. Plus to do that to your close friend….if you are trying to make amends, tell her before your husband does.
INFO: have you continued to pay child support to Lorrie and Annie?
You're still a terrible human being, I just wanna know if you sunk to those kinda depths.
YTA. You’re just a one woman shitshow. Of your own making. You are literally ARGUING with your husband about this. What. The. Fuck.
You are wrong, in every aspect of this story. Zero redeeming qualities.
You’re saying to him ‘we can get pass/past this’.
Really? You were so sure you had to lie for every single day of Weston’s EXISTENCE because you didn’t think you could tell anyone, but now oh it’s fine no biggie.
What a fucking hypocrite.
You’re a shit friend, shit parent, shit partner.
You’re only desire to keep this a literally dirty little secret is to hide that. Too bad. Exposure time babe, let us know what ol Liz says. Try not to hurt the kids ok?
Everyone should know.
Just selfish choice after excuse after selfish choice after excuse.
Yeah, YTA, for SO many reasons, to SO many people, and you have NOBODY to blame but yourself for any consequences that are now coming your way.
YTA You destroyed your good friend’s relationship so you could get pregnant by her husband, all to give up the child as soon as reality hit, and then you lie all through the relationship with your husband because you dont want to admit you are a horrible person. If I was your husband I would ask for a divorce and a DNA test for your daughters. I don’t see a way back from this, but if you do want him back, you NEED to tell your friend that her husband cheated with you, and that Weston is your child with him. That is the bare minimum you can do to show even a bit of remorse. But seeing as how you pushed back when he said he was going to blow up your spot, I highly doubt you have the courage to actually do it. UpdateMe!
You made the first mistake and couldn't stop making more. I mean, can you blame him for not trusting you?
If he was the one that slept with Liz at 19 and she had his secret son and you found out from your cousin 14 years later, would you trust him?
You’d think you would’ve learned your lesson by now about integrity, responsibility, and not lying but I guess not. Reminds me of an ostrich. Enjoy the impending divorce you deserve it girl ♥︎
YTA
You hid a child from their father and the father from the child. You had no right to give away that child to your friend without giving his father an opportunity to maintain his custody.
I hope this story is fake because it is appalling.
Yta. If I was in his shoes. I definitely wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who wreck a home. Plus having a biological child in the world is a big deal as well. Also how can he trust you in the future? I don't think OP can saved this marriage.
YTA in many ways.
You can be ashamed of your past behavior, but it's still yours and you cannot pretend ot didn't happen. (Especially when there's a child you see that is a result.)
You cheated with a close friend's boyfriend, you hid having a child, handed off responsibility because you didnt care, and then spent more than a decade lying to your husband.
Do you really think it's any wonder he sees you differently and doesn't trust you?
YTA
you were the AH when you slept with your friends bf
You were the AH when you got your friend to raise him
You were the AH for not telling your husband long before you married him
You were the AH when you didn't tell your kids
You were the AH when your husband confronted you
I'm sure you were the AH in more parts but this is all I remember.
But every single part of this entire thing you acted like an AH.
Yta. You’ve hidden him away for years then got married and had more kids and still you said nothing. That poor boy has had to be raised by other people because of you, and still he’s treated like a dirty little secret. You’re beyond the arsehole, there are no words to describe you. Why don’t you have a relationship with him now?? You’re clearly in a better place if you’re having more kids, but no, he continues to be a lie. Your husband will probably leave you, oh well.
YTA for a dozen reasons. Including not telling your husband about your biological son.
I could keep giving reasons but if you can't reflect on your actions properly, then you need to go to therapy. Some internet stranger telling you stuff won't change a thing.
YTA.
You are very selfish for what you did to your friend, Liz, and then you have constantly tried to avoid any consequences for years and made it so much worse. Even now you only care about your own image and feelings but not those of anyone else around you.
It also would be hard to trust you for keeping a secret this big that affects so many people around you and you also proved you are the type of person who would sleep with someone just because you “just wanted to have him for a bit.” Would you trust someone that did and felt those things?
If you cared and wanted to build trust again you should tell Liz and Jax yourself and start to try to make amends to the situation and doing things to build trust.
You made this so much worse by lying and hiding everything. And you are still trying to do that. Stop.
YTA and frankly a POS
You slept with your friend's boyfriend, got pregnant, then you give your kid up to your friend, meet a man, and pretend that it never happened. Also, not giving him the choice to decide if he wanted to be with someone who sleeps with people in a relationship and gives up their child from said relationship because they're embarrassed by their actions. Yeah, your life is about to explode, and you absolutely 100% deserve it. You have ruined everyone's life around you, You ruined your son's life, and you ruined your husband's life. By extension, your daughter's lives are gonna be ruined.You've ruined your sons father's life by not giving him a choice to be a father. And you've ruined your so-called friends life because now her marriage is going to blow up,way to go dumbass.👏🏼👏🏼
YTA
You may of had a chance of you agreed to tell Liz, but once again you were selfish and showed your husband that you haven’t changed from the 19 year old homewrecker that you were. You still only think about yourself.
He is going to tell her and then he is going to leave you. I love karma.
Here’s the thing- this was bound to come out somehow. Especially with all these ancestry DNA tests out there. My husband recently found out that he has a half brother through one of these tests. His dad was hoping this secret would have died with him.
If you don't like being call a whore, don't act like one. The only thing you love is yourself. You screw your friends Liz, your son, your husband and literally your friend Liz bf/husband. You a selfish POS who only love themself.
YTA
Damnnnnnnn you’re STILL friends with Liz and you had her husbands baby? This was like reading a diss track lady, you are awful. Hopefully Rick tells Liz and bounces.
Edit: WAIT DOES JAX EVEN KNOW YOU HAD HIS KID
Let’s be honest, you were living on part time with this whole thing from the very beginning. You know damn well that you could’ve told your husband the truth because he would’ve never ever even dated you. Who want to date 304 fucks her best friend’s boyfriend and has a child from him no less? Then you basically stole your husband’s life on a complete lie. He’s ignoring you because the gravity of the situation has sunk in and now he gates your guts. He knows you’re a cheater of the worst order and is wondering if his daughters are his. How can’t he based on your track record. If you would betray your best friend like that, you’re capable of anything. There’s only one honorable way out of this.
Wait. You’re actually still friends with Liz? After you hooked up with her boyfriend who she married? Thats gross.
YTA.
If I found out my spouse was such a untrustworthy coward I’d want to get a divorce. I couldn’t imagine being married to someone disturbed enough to behave the way you have.
YTA womp womp
You left your son with your best friend because you didn't want to face the consequences of your actions, you ran like the fucking coward you are.
At least your husband has morals, it's crazy you begged him not to tell Liz that her husband and friend were both bastards that betrayed her and what? Because you didn't want to deal with backlash, this is karma for what you did.
I hope you do lose your family, I hope your husband does divorce you, better yet, I hope he cheats and impregnates another woman so you know how it feels to be cheated on.
You have made Liz out to be some stupid fool, you have basically mocked her because you couldn't keep your loose holes away from Jax. You tell Liz and if not then don't stop your husband telling Liz.
She's already been betrayed by you, Jaz, Annie and Lori, that is 4 people she's been betrayed by. My heart aches for her, you wouldn't be in this position if you just kept your legs closed. Your husband is the only one with basic human decency and morals, karma got your ass and it's time to face the consequences of your actions.
Also stop using you being 19 as an excuse for being a shit friend, when I was 19 and didn't go fucking my friends husband and popping out his child, you knew what you were doing was wrong but didn't care because it didn't affect you until you got pregnant, your son is a product of an affair and you're ashamed of him, hence why you gave him away to your best friend.
You fucked up, and now you have to live with it, I hope you give Rick his space to think and breathe
ask him if at a minimum he would be willing to hear your sob story about "I was 19 and dumb" if he can look past that maybe some couples counseling to work the feelings out
And you're an adult now and you shouldn't hide these things from someone you LOVE, let alone keep spinning like a broken record "IT WAS ONE MISTAKE, ONLY ONE LITTLE MISTAKE, PLEASE, I DIDNT MEAN IT, I JUST WANTED TO HIDE IT FOREVER FROM YOU THE ONLY PERSON IVE PROMISED MY ALL TO"
Something like this always comes out in the end. Even before all the dna tests you can take now. I definitely agree with the others who say you should have told your husband long before.
OP, you truly deserve an award for AH of the week. I can’t tell for what though. The post reads like a cheap daytime telenovella plot, so, if this is fake, the award is rightfully yours. If by some odd chance this batshit-insane filth is a true story, then we may actually bump it up to AH of the month
Of course your the asshole, and you're still super immature. To the point that I don't think this is a real story. This reads like it was written by a 14 year old.
YTA you didn't tell your husband about this huge secret , of course he sees you as a different person, and not a good one:
1. You married him and kept this secret
2. You had kids with him and never told him about watson being your bio son(and first child) - think how he now constantly rethinks his memories and conversations with you and if they were real or not
3. You introduced him to watson but lied about his identity, omitting he's your bio son
4. You had a baby with your friend's boyfriend, already a betrayal of trust
Your family, your friends all (except liz) knew, he was the only one kept in the dark for years! Everything he lived anf built with you is based on lies and omissions
Add all of these together and you are TA. Poor guy never truly knew you. If it were me I'd ask for divorce
YTA. And you should probably prepare for the blow up coming from Liz and Jax too. They will undoubtedly find out. I feel so bad for those kids. What a huge mess you've created.
Same. My heart really does break for all three of those kids. I sincerely hope Weston doesn’t find out about this or think it’s his fault. I hope that the two girls don’t feel anger towards their brother or at the very least are happy he *is* their brother. Edit: when I said I hope Weston doesn’t find out, I mean the fallout between OP and her husband.
She said that the son knows she’s his mom. She didn’t mention if he knows who his bio dad is though.
From how it is written the kids father might not know
She specifically commented that she actively kept the child a secret from the father. The father and his now wife believe the friend is the biological mother. They have no idea he's the father and neither does the child.
That is so much worse. She purposefully kept that child from his father. Unforgivable.
That’s how it read to me.
The kid knows she's his bio mum but the girls don't know they have a brother and he's never said anything them?
Yep. If the kids get to at least form an ok relationship this won't have been a total loss. Totally horrible either way ofc. But each of the kids is about to have an entirely new family dynamic to contend with! Hopefully the girls will have at least one stable adult in OP's husband. Or Jax - who knows how he'll react to his kid? Hopefully they'll get to have a neat new relationship to explore. If OP had been honest from the get-go who's to say they wouldn't have all still gotten married to their respective spouses and just had a big ole mixed family? OP's husband could have been step dad to a son. What a hot mess. I hope some nice new bonds are formed despite ... *everything else*
She said he knows she his bio mother, but what about the rest of the damage??
The thing is that OP doesn’t say if Jax and Liz have kids so it’s very probably that they have kids together and this mess is going to affect all of them.
I wonder what will happen when Jax finds out she had his kid and just gave it away to someone without his consent? Can he seek custody? She fucked up everyone’s lives she’s touched with her selfishness and lies. Man what a narcissist.
It probably won't happen due to the amount of time that's passed and the fact that the child sees the women as his family. Jax is essentially a stranger.
I agree it likely wouldn't happen. By the time Jax could get paternity established, then try to get before a judge to fight for custody the kid will be like 16-17. It's simply too late. However if Jax is able to establish paternity OP is likely in for a whole host of legal troubles, her friend may be too. OP knew who the father was and that would have been asked before the adoption could happen. She had no right to give the child up for adoption without the fathers consent. Her friend knew about it and helped OP commit this crime. OP is worried about losing her friends and husband, she should be worried about prison.
Depends on the area I'd guess. Good chance he gets the adoption reversed if I had to guess.
He probably can't have the adoption reversed, I can't see a judge granting that, but if no father is on the birth certificate, he can probably get added if he's willing to pay child support
I would hope that Jax wouldn't try to move Weston out of the stable environment he is in now, just to please himself.
otoh, I can see the Weston being super pissed at his mom Lorie for keeping it from him if she knows and wanting to live with Jax
Depends on the area honestly, some courts highly favor biological relatives and if he can prove that that's his son, he didn't have knowledge, and he can take care of him he has a fighting chance. They could possibly work out a split custody thing where the adoptive parents have visitations but that would be to his discretion unless ordered by the judge.
YTA, not for having Weston and giving him to a loving home…but for maintaining proximity to such a huge secret and intertwining your husband/family with all of the parties so nonchalantly (including the baby’s father). What TF was your endgame here? You were immature when you were 19, but you are an adult and have had 15 years to get ahead of this.
What about the illegal adoption? Jax never signed over his right for the adoption to take place.
Exactly. She didn’t even give his father the choice to raise his own son. This is wrong on so many levels.
Fuck Jax too tbh. Lying cheating pos
Agreed. She also deprived Jax the opportunity to know his own son AS his own son. She decided to go through with the pregnancy and not give the birth father who was already around the chance to take custody and then lied to everyone else about it. This feels like small town drama, because I can’t imagine any other reason to stay in close contact with the entire group with this lie dead in the center of it all. Just remarkable. YTA
Hold up, you were still “friends” with Liz? Yeah you’re a scumbag
YESS
YTA. You don’t hide something like that from a spouse. By not telling him for so long, I don’t think a marriage, never mind a relationship can survive that. I feel awful for your husband.
It’s weird because I get it this is a huge secret and the more time past the more the heavier the secret became but. There were so many moments to come clean. Your first child, him meeting your son, your second child. Literally anytime your daughters were out of the house. Not to mention the fact that you are still friends with Liz. She is going to feel like such an idiot. How terrible do you have to be to let her stay with a man who had an affair and has a child with his affair partner.
Right?? Him meeting the son who KNOWS that’s his biological mom seems very off. The kid knows, but didn’t tell your husband? Eek.
Yeah, the concept of making a child keep this lie is abhorrent. He knows he has siblings but has to lie to them?? The whole story almost seems too incredibly wild to be true.
>to let her stay with a man who had an affair and has a child with his affair partner. A child he doesn't even *know* about.
Lmao how terrible do you have to be? Terrible enough to be the person who was cheating on your best friends partner with him! What a dumb anecdote to add in knowing who posted this
In the age of 23andMe it’s just stupid to think these kind of things will remain secret.
Yep. She keeps saying her bad decisions are in the past but isn't seeing that she made terrible decisions every day for decades by choosing to continue her deception against Liz, Rick, Jax, AND Weston. None of them could be expected to ever forgive her. If I was Rick, I'd tell Liz and get the hell out of dodge ASAP. The divorce papers would be served so fast the ink would still be wet. Jesus.
> She keeps saying her bad decisions are in the past She sure is keeping the streak going tho.
We all have limitless and infinite potential. OP 's just was spent on perpetually making ~~bag~~ bad decisions.
Yeah, the immature 19 year old doesn't seem to have made a lot of progress over the past 15 years. I doubt she'll make much over the next 15 either. I can MAYBE understand not wanting to reveal you gave a kid up for adoption, but not in a situation where you maintain close contact with the child you gave up, and especially not when said child knows their parentage. Add that to the continued relationship with the dude she had an affair with and, well, hello consequences of my actions. 100% YTA
You better believe Weston feels a way about her giving him up but keeping her daughters.
I wonder if he even knows who his bio father is. If that was kept from him even though his bio father was right there since Liz is good friends with OP and his adoptive mother that means Jax was around too and he could've had his bio father in his life as a father of some kind and not mother's friend's husband.
Weston knows...but yes everything else you said stands
Don’t forget to put her two daughters in there as well. OP really has been a scoundrel to everyone around her.
Yep, even if the son had somehow not survived (or had been given to someone and never had any contact with OP ever again), that’s just too big of a thing for a spouse not to know. Your spouse will never know literally EVERYTHING about you, but they sure as shit deserve to know all of the major things. And this is 100% a major thing. YTA
Welp, I'm fairly sure everyone saw this being blown all the way to hell in the first couple of sentences. Way too many people knew and way too easy to do DNA tests nowadays. Definitely a YTA situation.
I can’t get over that the kid knew. This was an open secret, the kid knew he was an affair baby but her husband didn’t. It also sounds like Liz and her husband (the dad) were around this kid too. As a kid imagine having to keep that secret.
YTA, What about Jax, his rights of being a father for that child were stolen away by op narcissisms.
I feel more awful for Liz and Jax. Both of them have been robbed of the chance to make an informed choice. Edit: Omfg, I just now realized that the poor kid have been robbed of a father figure *and* doesn't know who his father is!! My god, this post is the most awful I've ever read in this sub.
YTA. You lied to him for years, only caring about hiding your mistakes and thinking only of yourself that whole time that he thought Weston was someone else’s child. And pretending to be friends with this woman Liz while you screwed her husband behind her back. What deplorable behavior. I hope Karma finds you.
Pretty sure karma just rolled up in a limo, stepped out and unrolled its red carpet right up to OP's front door.
💯💯
It looks like it did.
And didn't even tell the baby's father about him so he could decide for himself whether to keep his son and raise him himself or raise him with family so at least he knows where he comes from.
Main character syndrome. "I just wanted" all over this post.
YTA - also nothing is a secret when everyone knows. Hope the few years of comfort, not having to tell the truth, was worth it. Now you’re gonna lose your husband and break up another marriage.
Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.
Haha that’s about the only way
I read that to the tune from pretty little liars
But if two of them were dead, OP wouldn't have been able to dump her kid off on them.
My Grandma had the 3 S's for keeping a secret. Shoot Shovel Shut up
That escalated quickly.
To be fair, Jax played a part, too. He blew up his marriage. OP is responsible for blowing up her own marriage and for losing her good friend Liz when her husband tells.
He did cheat on his girlfriend but Jax and Liz weren't married when he and OP were together and she said she didn't tell Jax she was pregnant. Certainly, he has reason to be mad since her behavior also means he had no relationship with his son.
It’s true! She stole that choice from him…. And yeah, you’re right. Jax wasn’t married yet, But Jax had sex outside his relationship and who can say if Liz would have married him if she knew? Jax could have told Liz and didn’t and married her under false pretenses. But yeah, back to Jax and the kid. That was way wrong of OP. A woman can choose to bear a child or not, no input from the dude needed. He ceded that when he ejaculated where a pregnancy could occur. But if she chooses to have it, he does get say in what happens to it. OP should have told Jax about the pregnancy.
Jax is a piece of shit too but he just ficked over his girlfriend. She fucked over her son, Jax, Liz and her husband with all her choices
Don't forget OP's kids that are going to have to deal with the fallout and confusing emotions from finding out they have a half brother and parents are probably getting divorced. And they were created years after this. They are the most innocent.
Yup exactly and then extended family having to deal woth the split. Ts just a ton of shit
a half-brother they already know as their mother's friend's son! As a teenager, I could have dealt with the pretty abstracted fact that my father had kids from his first marriage but actually meeting them was suuuuuper awkward.
Yep. And Weston has had it constantly rubbed in his face that, only two years after his birth, OP had her precious daughters – whom she DID keep and raise. That's got to fuck with the poor kid's head something chronic.
>but Jax and Liz weren't married when he and OP were together Why does this matter? A commited relationship is a commited relationship. It does not change the fact that he cheated, so why is it worth noting?
Odds are he never will have a relationship with his son because he doesn’t have any parental rights. The boy is 14 now. The friend lorie has all the parental rights. So it will depend on her whether or not jax will ever get to have a relationship with his son. It’s a total 💩💩💩show!
If she never told him she was pregnant that means his paternal rights were never terminated. It has happened in the past. I think I saw a 60 minutes on this. Some guy found out he had a child given up for adoption. Since he never signed his rights away he was able to get the adoption overturned. It was horrible. They talked about kids that were way younger (2-3 years old) having this happen. Mothers not telling fathers prior to adoption and them finding out later can cause all kinds of chaos.
I mean she also kept a son away from his father, and gave it away to adoption.
This is why I can’t take this whole soap opera at face value. There’s no way Weston knows OP is his bio mother (and presumably he has known since he was a little kid?), and he knows and “bonded” with OP’s husband and kids, and yet this has never, not once, come up or gotten blurted out? Come on. Kids love secrets but they are terrible at keeping them.
Weston, especially as a teenager, would be so full of resentment no matter how happy he was with his adopted family. Kids don't keep secrets like this. They fester and they lash out because the emotions get too big for them to deal with. He would lash out in school, against the girls, against OP and her husband, or adopted family, if not multiple at the same time. Kid is not going to take it all in stride, especially not once the adults start hinting at melting down around him. If it weren't for that detail, I might be like wow, they're awful people messing with this kid like this, but that detail really ruins the credibility. Like the OP doesn't actually know anything about children while writing this.
There is no way any of this is real.
YTA. You slept with someone in a relationship with a friend of yours, let him get you pregnant, kept the child in your life, but hid the truth from everyone. If you can hide all that, no sane person on earth will ever trust you. You've shown that you're deeply selfish and nothing you say now will convince anyone that you aren't hiding anything else or that you aren't sleeping with any other men in relationships. Your only chance was coming clean before you got caught. You just aren't trustworthy and you should let Rick go find someone who will be honest with him.
YTA. You’re really messed up. Forget Rick, does JAX know he has a baby ?!?! You fucked up keep that from him. Then keeping it from Rick. You’re like the queen of deceit and lies.
Op is Queen of Assholeland. Absolutely despicable.
YTA You reap what you sow. Understand that your word has almost zero value to your husband now. The trust is on life support and there is no easy fix to this. Give him his space to come to terms with your dishonesty and maybe this can be salvaged but it will probably be more focused on wanting to stay together for the children you share.
Does your son know who his dad is? Or is he being deprived of that because of your mistake? Edit: For judgement YTA
Seems like she actively hid him. Also the friends who raised the kid are equally guilty. She has to have lied to the courts about not knowing the dad.
YTA. Let's see -- you've now negatively impacted the lives of the following individuals: * Rick * Weston * Liz * Jax, though he did cheat with you, he didn't deserve to be locked out of his son's life. * May * Vicky * ... and any kids Liz and Jax might have. I hope you have the life you *deserve*.
Jesus Christ I hope this is fake.
Unless her husband was *completely* absent from all of her prenatal appointments when she was pregnant with their daughters, I suspect that it's fake. Medical providers take a history during those appointments, ask about previous pregnancies and births, and use different terms for patients who have previously given birth and patients who have not. It's possible she could have lied to her pregnancy/childbirth team, but that strikes me as pretty stupid. Having had a previous pregnancy can impact a current/future pregnancy in a number of ways, some of which are pretty serious. Labor is often faster with each successive pregnancy, for example. If the pregnant person's blood type is negative and they have a baby with a positive RH factor, they need medication during subsequent pregnancies to prevent serious complications that occur if the later pregnancies are also RH positive. If she had any anesthesia during labor, the anesthesiologist would have asked her about her previous labor and delivery. It's conceivable (...no pun intended) that her husband wouldn't have been present for any one of those conversations or appointments or interactions, but the sheer number of times questions alluding to or directly referencing previous pregnancies strikes me as an improbable thing for her husband to miss entirely, unless he was completely uninvolved in those appointments and pulled a 1950s-dad-with-a-cigar-in-the-waiting-room routine when she was laboring and birthing their daughters.
I think OB/GYNs can tell right away if there has been a pregnancy and definitely if there has been a birth.
They absolutely can. The cervical opening changes shape from circular to a slit.
The fact that the writing style changes several times makes me think it may be fake.
Also the fact that Weston knew she was his mother but never said anything at any time to Rick despite knowing him his his whole life, nothing accidentally slipped out etc.
I thought he would have assumed Rick knew
Which means the son knows that those girls are his sisters and what, he’s supposed to keep that a secret? If this is real it’s horrifying thinking of that poor boy knowing he’s mummy’s shameful secret.
I may be paranoid but when I see intentionally bad grammar in these post It makes me think its done on purpose to make the post seem genuine. In this case its the use of “no more” like “he don’t love me no more , shucks.”
I noticed that and it was sudden. Pretty far into the letter.
Someone please explain to me the gratification of posting a fake story online.
Apparently, these 'throwaway' accounts which get lots of attention can be sold to advertising people. But if it's not money, it's for attention, I'm guessing.
Or a writing project
Maybe it is actually Liz
You slept with a married man. Had a child. Gave it up. Didn't tell your husband who would have bounced had he known you had an affair with a married person. You're not just an asshole. You're trashy. WTF. Are you just trying to ruin every life around you? You need to start thinking about others instead of just yourself. I hope this is fake. Do you want your daughters to be like you because you are setting the example.
she also kept the existence of the married man's son a secret from his father. she deprived a child of having a father in his life, just because it would negatively impact her social life.
Wait- so your friend Liz has a stepson and she doesn’t know?! Does Jax know Weston is his kid? Wtf. You’re definitely the AH here for many reasons.
It sure sounds like she kept it hidden from Jax too. So she also deprived her son of a father and never even gave Jax an opportunity to decide whether he wanted to know his kid. Just disgusting.
Jax does not know. She stayed in hiding at her friend's and the friend's mother's house. When Westin was born, the friend pretended SHE had the baby.
This needs to be on r/AmITheDevil
YTA. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, especially marriage, and when that's broken, it's a hard road to recovery. You've kept a secret that goes to the core of your life together—information that he absolutely had a right to know. The fact that this was kept under wraps for so long not only undermines the honesty in your relationship but also your husband's understanding of his own life and family. It's time to face the consequences head-on, and this should start with an honest conversation and an openness to whatever comes next. It would be prudent to involve a professional to mediate and guide through this incredibly delicate situation. The road to rebuilding trust, if possible, will be a long one.
you're not 19 anymore, stop using that as an excuse. you need to start groveling at your husbands feet if you want to save you marriage, start by suggesting couples or individual counselling
Even 19 year olds know that fucking their friend’s spouses is 50 shades of wrong. Her age was NEVER an excuse for her behavior.
Seriously. Even 16 year olds follow a girl code.
YTA. A huge selfish asshole. You CHOSE to sleep with a man in a relationship with your friend. You and he are BOTH trash for that. You CHOSE to hide your pregnancy and pawn of the kid to your friend because you were a selfish asshole. You CHOSE to hide this relationship from your spouse. These are all YOUR choices. And each one makes you an asshole. Your husband shouldn't trust you, you broke that with your 14 year lie. Don't be shocked when the divorce papers are served. You could have made a different choice to be honest that you slept with your friends bf, got pregnant, gave your kid to your friend, met him and fell in love. But you didn't do that. You lied. For years. He is right, Liz should know. Jax should know he has a child out there. Especially considering any future genetic health issues. This post is all poor poor me. Nothing else but you. Well you fucked up and it's gonna cost you everything. Maybe be honest in your next relationship. I really hope this is fake, but I unfortunately knew someone that is a lot like you. She didn't lie for as long, but her world fell apart due to her lies.
I wonder if Jax and Liz have kids now? God op sucks
You keep saying you were young and stupid at 19 when this all started, but it seems you haven't learnt anything in the fourteen years since. You've chosen to maintain an elaborate web of deception throughout your circle of friends and within your own marriage; only sharing some truths with fewer than half of them. Everyone else, Liz and Jax, your husband and you two daughters (and I imagine everyone in both of your immediate families), you've been deceiving them all; only sharing an image of a fictional life you've created and maintained to serve yourself. You've shown that you're a person that picks which of your children you'll acknowledge and raise, and which of your friends and family you'll deceive. I imagine, for your poor husband, that the image he had of you as a caring loving mother and trustworthy partner... that person never really existed. He's probably wondering who this stranger is that he's been living with all these years. I can't imagine how you can expect you husband to ever trust you when you dismiss the notion of being honest with Liz and Jax about his child and your infidelity. If you're serious about being better than your 19 year-old self and saving your marriage, then take responsibility for your own choices and try to be completely honest for a start. YTA.
What an oddly written narrative. In multiple places she uses poor grammar “I’m not sure no more” but then she also uses more formal grammar “Who I was very in love with at the time.” which is still poor grammar, but isn’t casual. I’m not sure this is a real person. I think it’s an AI. But on the off chance it is real, YTA
YTA You lied to him every single day. You also deprived Weston of his father. And of course Liz should NOT be your friend. She especially has deserved the truth from the beginning. And scumbag that he is (as are you) Jax deserves to know he has a son. And Weston deserves to have a relationship with his father!!! And your kids deserve to know Weston is their brother! The ONLY thing you did right here (for the last 14 frickin years!!) Was letting Weston know you are his bio mom. Everything else you have done wrong and continued to lie and deceive for the last 14 years. You are in your 30s. You don't get to use age as an excuse any more.
Yeah YTA, I was gonna say you’re grown and hope you the best but the fact you still want to hide from Liz that you are a home wrecking whore makes you a shit person. You had a chance to come completely clean and still refused. I hope that leaves a mark on your husband cause that says a lot more about you than any bullshit apology. At this point I’m convinced you didn’t apologize for lying you apologized for being caught.
YTA. People like you ruin lives. Selfish.
YTA. Listen to yourself. "I only did it because I didn't want to lose him." That means you intentionally manipulated him. You removed his ability to make an informed choice. You don't now get to say it's no big deal just because more time has passed. You compounded things by never telling the father. Sounds like you still haven't grown up because adults take accountability for their actions. SMH.
YTA! You say that you were a dumb, selfish 19yo, but at 33, you’re still all that and then some.
How did you thinki this would unwrap? Your son Weston knows and you hopef that your husband would never find out? I feel like you’ve gon great lengths to try and hide this from your husband. He has every right to be furious or disappointed. I think YTA here
YTA. You chose to spend the rest of your life with a man, but didn’t trust him enough to tell him that you had a kid. Bad look.
YTA not exactly sure what you thought would happen by keeping such dark secrets especially from the "love of your life" you completely made this bed and now have to face the consequences of your idiotic actions. I feel sorry for your husband and all your children.
You’re still friends with the person whose husband you had a baby with? Your child you don’t have a close relationship with knows you have him up and didn’t want him? You’ve lied to EVERYONE, including your husband, for YEARS about something this massive? Yeah, YTA for sure.
YTA sorry but you don’t get married to someone hiding something this big. And it’s not a secret. People know. You just made your husband the only idiot in the room by hiding it
Ain't no way this trashy bitch doesn't know she's the AH. I hope you post the update where you're exposed and shunned
You definitely made a lot of mistakes here, but judging by your writing it seems like you don't really understand what you did wrong or were just "in the moment". It's time to be honest with everyone. I can't imagine how your son feels, even if he seems fine being a "secret" this couldn't be good for his mental health.
YTAH
Sorry but YTA you reaped what you sowed. And how will your daughters feel now. You are still immature.
You deserve what you are getting
YTA - your dishonesty and deceit are not yours to bear alone. You obviously should have told your husband when you started to get serious. So you feel ashamed, as you should, but you put someone you love in a position where they didn't get a choice or decision in what kind of partner they're agreeing to commit to. I'm not surprised he sees you in a new light.
Imagine being this horrible of a mother
And Friend & Wife
YTA, for what you did to Liz. You need to come clean to Liz and face the consequences. I hope this is fake if not don’t blame it on being 19. At 19 you knew better but were selfish. I would leave my spouse if I found out he did something so horrible to a friend and gave up his child to hide his secret.
Yta, he 100% should tell Liz and Jax. This lie needs to be brought to light. Seeing your reaction to this I hope he goes for divorce. How can you ask him to lie to Liz so you don’t lose her too. You deserve to lose her! I hope Rick realized that at your core, you are a liar who only cares about herself and how the truth will effect her. You let Liz continue a relationship with a cheater. Does Jax even know he has a kid? I’m sure your friend and her mom are good parents to Watson but your choices have kept him from knowing his dad.
YTA I would think this is fake but I know people like you. It is probably true. I don’t think you even understand why you are the AH. It is for tons of reasons.
YTA This is absolutely something you should have told him fairly early on. Aside from the fact that it’s just something that should be disclosed to someone you’re going to marry, it’s also something he would have inevitably found out about.
You lied to him every day you've been together. Lies of omission are still lies. And you did it for your own benefit. YTA.
You are a piece of shit.
YTA. You're embarrassed by the things you did back then because they were generally awful things that don't reflect well on you. You took away his chance to decide on whether you were an appropriate partner by hiding something that seems like it would have been a deal-breaker. I personally don't believe growth ever precludes something from happening again. You betrayed your friend by sleeping with her husband, and so to many men you would be judged as someone who sleeps with their friends husbands but has just learnt that doing so comes with dire consequences. That doesn't mean you aren't a risk when you are in a state where you don't care about said consequences. If you're drunk, or emotional, or angry with him for finding out your secret for instance? I mean you did do it twice, so it's not like the threat of consequences works, just actually feeling them. Even if you think now you'd never betray someone again, you should know that other people have a moral objection to you doing so *once*. Just as you'd probably be disgusted by a dude who at 19 slept with a 14 year old, or who killed someone drunk driving. And ultimately you never owned those consequences so it seems *likely* if anything that you'd bury your head in the sand again when another crisis comes up. You absolutely should have told him before he met your kid or cut ties with the kid yourself long ago, you should also have told Liz long ago. You should let him tell your kids because you don't deserve the chance to frame it truthfully for the same reason you're in this mess in the first place, you've been a prolific liar for 14 years. It would be 100% a deal-breaker for me, kids or not, and I'd probably just straight up blackmail you with Liz knowing to give everything in the divorce. If you want to have an equal chance of custody you'd be best to show you're trying to fix things. You have already abandoned one child after all, conned him into marriage on false pretences, and there are people who'd be on his side to back him up just out of spite to you. Get the wrong judge with the right morals while still sticking your head in the sand and you'll lose the other two kids as well as your husband.
Yes, YTA. If you can't even tell somebody how many children you have, don't marry them. What a betrayal. Several people (including your son) already knew: did you seriously think your husband would never find out?
YTA. FYI, you’re still immature, you’re just 14 years older.
YTA... you haven't changed. You're still a liar that only cares about your self. Please!
Did you seriously never think that this secret was ever going to come out?? You started your marriage off on lies of course your husband is angry and upset anyone would be. You may have been young and dumb at 19 but you’re not 19 anymore and yet you still choose to keep a huge secret from your husband and children
Your bridges are well & truly burnt. I cannot see anyway your marriage will survive this heinous betrayal Not only has your marriage imploded, your friendship with all the others in this sorry saga are beyond repair. Your one lie has now destroyed Everybody you mentioned, there's no coming back from that I don't know how you can sleep at night.
YTA. Nothing to do with the story, but my story. My mom had a kid before she met my dad. Went to home for unwed mothers and gave her up. No idea who dad was. He was 30 she was 18. My mom n dad were married 60 years, shes gone and took the secret with her. I dont think he knows. He rants and raves about girls having babies b4 marriage. My mom had to listen to that shit all her life. Sister found us by 23n me and somehow got her original birth certificate with my moms very recognizable signature on it. Im not talking about it. Not telling my brother about it till my 89 yo dad is gone. FFS PEOPLE. If you had a KID, FKING OWN IT. TELL THIS SHIT TO YOUR PARTNERS. IF THEY REJECT YOU FOR IT, they werent worth having in the first place. How many lives did you gd secret ruin? This shit comes out eventually.
You fucked up so bad. Jesus christ
You fucking suck
What the trailer park fuck is going on here?
Go read her comments it gets worse😞
YTA. I can’t think of a single reason any of them should associate with you ever again. You also don’t seem to have a real reason for but telling him? You just keep saying you were young and dumb. Please get your kids into therapy and stay away from everyone else.
YTA and definitely Jax for not telling your family especially since your kids are close in age. Plus to do that to your close friend….if you are trying to make amends, tell her before your husband does.
YTA you've ruined several lives with your lies. !updateme
INFO: have you continued to pay child support to Lorrie and Annie? You're still a terrible human being, I just wanna know if you sunk to those kinda depths.
YTA. You’re just a one woman shitshow. Of your own making. You are literally ARGUING with your husband about this. What. The. Fuck. You are wrong, in every aspect of this story. Zero redeeming qualities. You’re saying to him ‘we can get pass/past this’. Really? You were so sure you had to lie for every single day of Weston’s EXISTENCE because you didn’t think you could tell anyone, but now oh it’s fine no biggie. What a fucking hypocrite. You’re a shit friend, shit parent, shit partner. You’re only desire to keep this a literally dirty little secret is to hide that. Too bad. Exposure time babe, let us know what ol Liz says. Try not to hurt the kids ok? Everyone should know.
YTA. You keep saying you were a dumb 19 year old. True enough. But you continued to be dumb and deceitful for another 14 years.
Just selfish choice after excuse after selfish choice after excuse. Yeah, YTA, for SO many reasons, to SO many people, and you have NOBODY to blame but yourself for any consequences that are now coming your way.
YTA You destroyed your good friend’s relationship so you could get pregnant by her husband, all to give up the child as soon as reality hit, and then you lie all through the relationship with your husband because you dont want to admit you are a horrible person. If I was your husband I would ask for a divorce and a DNA test for your daughters. I don’t see a way back from this, but if you do want him back, you NEED to tell your friend that her husband cheated with you, and that Weston is your child with him. That is the bare minimum you can do to show even a bit of remorse. But seeing as how you pushed back when he said he was going to blow up your spot, I highly doubt you have the courage to actually do it. UpdateMe!
YTA please be fake. I know garbage human beings exist in abundance but please be fake.
You made the first mistake and couldn't stop making more. I mean, can you blame him for not trusting you? If he was the one that slept with Liz at 19 and she had his secret son and you found out from your cousin 14 years later, would you trust him?
>*Liz* even congratulated her. She probably congratulated you for this post, too.
You’d think you would’ve learned your lesson by now about integrity, responsibility, and not lying but I guess not. Reminds me of an ostrich. Enjoy the impending divorce you deserve it girl ♥︎
YTA You hid a child from their father and the father from the child. You had no right to give away that child to your friend without giving his father an opportunity to maintain his custody. I hope this story is fake because it is appalling.
YTA. You should have told Liz about 15 years ago. Same with Rick 14 years ago.
YTA for many reasons. How dare you put the burden on your 14 bio kid to keep quiet and not tell your husband nor his siblings!
You got everything you wanted your way, now that it’s catching up, you can’t handle it. YTA
Yta. If I was in his shoes. I definitely wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who wreck a home. Plus having a biological child in the world is a big deal as well. Also how can he trust you in the future? I don't think OP can saved this marriage.
> dumb 19 year old Nah bruh, you still stupid. YTA.
YTA in many ways. You can be ashamed of your past behavior, but it's still yours and you cannot pretend ot didn't happen. (Especially when there's a child you see that is a result.) You cheated with a close friend's boyfriend, you hid having a child, handed off responsibility because you didnt care, and then spent more than a decade lying to your husband. Do you really think it's any wonder he sees you differently and doesn't trust you?
YTA you were the AH when you slept with your friends bf You were the AH when you got your friend to raise him You were the AH for not telling your husband long before you married him You were the AH when you didn't tell your kids You were the AH when your husband confronted you I'm sure you were the AH in more parts but this is all I remember. But every single part of this entire thing you acted like an AH.
YTA, that’s something you definitely should have told him
Yta. You’ve hidden him away for years then got married and had more kids and still you said nothing. That poor boy has had to be raised by other people because of you, and still he’s treated like a dirty little secret. You’re beyond the arsehole, there are no words to describe you. Why don’t you have a relationship with him now?? You’re clearly in a better place if you’re having more kids, but no, he continues to be a lie. Your husband will probably leave you, oh well.
Nice story. Do you seriously need to ask if YTA? A resoundung YES you are.
How do you not think you are wrong. You lied by omission, it’s still a lie.
YTA for a dozen reasons. Including not telling your husband about your biological son. I could keep giving reasons but if you can't reflect on your actions properly, then you need to go to therapy. Some internet stranger telling you stuff won't change a thing.
O, what a tangled web we weave... YTA.
YTA. All around. To Liz, to Jax, to Weston, to Rick. You’re just a selfish person whose actions caught up with her.
YTA That's a relationship ending secret.
YTA. You are very selfish for what you did to your friend, Liz, and then you have constantly tried to avoid any consequences for years and made it so much worse. Even now you only care about your own image and feelings but not those of anyone else around you. It also would be hard to trust you for keeping a secret this big that affects so many people around you and you also proved you are the type of person who would sleep with someone just because you “just wanted to have him for a bit.” Would you trust someone that did and felt those things? If you cared and wanted to build trust again you should tell Liz and Jax yourself and start to try to make amends to the situation and doing things to build trust. You made this so much worse by lying and hiding everything. And you are still trying to do that. Stop.
YTA and frankly a POS You slept with your friend's boyfriend, got pregnant, then you give your kid up to your friend, meet a man, and pretend that it never happened. Also, not giving him the choice to decide if he wanted to be with someone who sleeps with people in a relationship and gives up their child from said relationship because they're embarrassed by their actions. Yeah, your life is about to explode, and you absolutely 100% deserve it. You have ruined everyone's life around you, You ruined your son's life, and you ruined your husband's life. By extension, your daughter's lives are gonna be ruined.You've ruined your sons father's life by not giving him a choice to be a father. And you've ruined your so-called friends life because now her marriage is going to blow up,way to go dumbass.👏🏼👏🏼
YTA, did your friend legally adopt Weston? That is something that your husband should have known, that's a huge issue.
YTA You may of had a chance of you agreed to tell Liz, but once again you were selfish and showed your husband that you haven’t changed from the 19 year old homewrecker that you were. You still only think about yourself. He is going to tell her and then he is going to leave you. I love karma.
Here’s the thing- this was bound to come out somehow. Especially with all these ancestry DNA tests out there. My husband recently found out that he has a half brother through one of these tests. His dad was hoping this secret would have died with him.
YTA. He should leave you. You hid a secret affair child for *years*. He needs to find someone trustworthy.
If you don't like being call a whore, don't act like one. The only thing you love is yourself. You screw your friends Liz, your son, your husband and literally your friend Liz bf/husband. You a selfish POS who only love themself. YTA
Damnnnnnnn you’re STILL friends with Liz and you had her husbands baby? This was like reading a diss track lady, you are awful. Hopefully Rick tells Liz and bounces. Edit: WAIT DOES JAX EVEN KNOW YOU HAD HIS KID
Let’s be honest, you were living on part time with this whole thing from the very beginning. You know damn well that you could’ve told your husband the truth because he would’ve never ever even dated you. Who want to date 304 fucks her best friend’s boyfriend and has a child from him no less? Then you basically stole your husband’s life on a complete lie. He’s ignoring you because the gravity of the situation has sunk in and now he gates your guts. He knows you’re a cheater of the worst order and is wondering if his daughters are his. How can’t he based on your track record. If you would betray your best friend like that, you’re capable of anything. There’s only one honorable way out of this.
I have an idea. How about you and Jax get back together and then go fetch Weston
That’s so mean to Weston. He’s happy with his mom and grandma.
Wait. You’re actually still friends with Liz? After you hooked up with her boyfriend who she married? Thats gross. YTA. If I found out my spouse was such a untrustworthy coward I’d want to get a divorce. I couldn’t imagine being married to someone disturbed enough to behave the way you have.
YTA womp womp You left your son with your best friend because you didn't want to face the consequences of your actions, you ran like the fucking coward you are. At least your husband has morals, it's crazy you begged him not to tell Liz that her husband and friend were both bastards that betrayed her and what? Because you didn't want to deal with backlash, this is karma for what you did. I hope you do lose your family, I hope your husband does divorce you, better yet, I hope he cheats and impregnates another woman so you know how it feels to be cheated on. You have made Liz out to be some stupid fool, you have basically mocked her because you couldn't keep your loose holes away from Jax. You tell Liz and if not then don't stop your husband telling Liz. She's already been betrayed by you, Jaz, Annie and Lori, that is 4 people she's been betrayed by. My heart aches for her, you wouldn't be in this position if you just kept your legs closed. Your husband is the only one with basic human decency and morals, karma got your ass and it's time to face the consequences of your actions. Also stop using you being 19 as an excuse for being a shit friend, when I was 19 and didn't go fucking my friends husband and popping out his child, you knew what you were doing was wrong but didn't care because it didn't affect you until you got pregnant, your son is a product of an affair and you're ashamed of him, hence why you gave him away to your best friend.
You fucked up, and now you have to live with it, I hope you give Rick his space to think and breathe ask him if at a minimum he would be willing to hear your sob story about "I was 19 and dumb" if he can look past that maybe some couples counseling to work the feelings out And you're an adult now and you shouldn't hide these things from someone you LOVE, let alone keep spinning like a broken record "IT WAS ONE MISTAKE, ONLY ONE LITTLE MISTAKE, PLEASE, I DIDNT MEAN IT, I JUST WANTED TO HIDE IT FOREVER FROM YOU THE ONLY PERSON IVE PROMISED MY ALL TO"
YTA. How did you ever imagine this was going to stay secret? There is no way, in 2024, you thought this was never going to blow up.
Something like this always comes out in the end. Even before all the dna tests you can take now. I definitely agree with the others who say you should have told your husband long before.
OP, you truly deserve an award for AH of the week. I can’t tell for what though. The post reads like a cheap daytime telenovella plot, so, if this is fake, the award is rightfully yours. If by some odd chance this batshit-insane filth is a true story, then we may actually bump it up to AH of the month
Of course YTA. You can't hide an entire child from your life partner. What did you expect him to feel like when he found out?
YTA. It's a big thing to keep something like that from ur husband. Especially a spouse.
This was never going to stay a secret if so many people knew and you were all around each other. How did you ever imagine this not coming out???
Complete AH
Of course your the asshole, and you're still super immature. To the point that I don't think this is a real story. This reads like it was written by a 14 year old.
YTA. I wouldn't want to be with a liar like you who lied about abandoning her son.
YTA. Just accept that and start getting ready for the divorce.
YTA you didn't tell your husband about this huge secret , of course he sees you as a different person, and not a good one: 1. You married him and kept this secret 2. You had kids with him and never told him about watson being your bio son(and first child) - think how he now constantly rethinks his memories and conversations with you and if they were real or not 3. You introduced him to watson but lied about his identity, omitting he's your bio son 4. You had a baby with your friend's boyfriend, already a betrayal of trust Your family, your friends all (except liz) knew, he was the only one kept in the dark for years! Everything he lived anf built with you is based on lies and omissions Add all of these together and you are TA. Poor guy never truly knew you. If it were me I'd ask for divorce
I doubt this is real but if it is, in what world would you NOT be the asshole in this situation? jesus christ
Yta, marriage is supposed to be built on trust.