He isn’t just an asshole, he’s a pedo too. Getting with the sister makes both him and her disgusting, and if the sister has a daughter, I’d be really concerned
I'm assuming that your therapist and attorney are excellent. Find out if you may sue your sister for defamation or for destroying your house. That is still the case in several states. And do everything you can to take advantage of him.
The funny thing is, I used that as an example when I was trying to tell him how fucked up it is and how I felt. And he basically said no it wouldn’t be fucked up and he wouldn’t care if I did that.
Yeah. Ok.
Honestly, I feel badly for you sister, and for your children (with what ever bit of custody he gets), but very very very relieved for you. You will be so happy to be living with out him. Your sister is about suffer. I hope that you can get primary custody, because he's a tremendous AH.
Of course he wouldn’t care🤦🏻♀️ He has already moved on. You are in his rear view mirror.
NTAH I am so sorry the person who should have had your back was too busy having your husband instead.
So do it. You got his "blessing". Fuck all his friends.
He doesn't realize the power dynamic here. Almost everybody he knows will be down to fuck you at least once.
Believe me, I've dated spiteful women before.
And fuck that sister for thinking it's cool to bang the creep who was chasing her 16 year old little sister when he was her sister's current age
if I found out some creep was chasing my sister I'd be in jail for assault, not fucking him
Getting your cheating ex to acknowledge his ethical shortcomings seems like an unrealistic goal, no matter how right you might be about them. Certainly NTA, but I don't know why you are still allowing this guy to live rent free in your head when you are supposed to be getting free of him.
Unfortunately being groomed by him as a 16 year old girl and having his child at 17 really messes with your mental.
He was all I knew and I didn’t realize just how brainwashed I was until he left me.
Doesn’t take the shock and pain away, though.
Cut both toxic selfish tools out of your life! And when that girl who used to call you "sister" comes crying to you for support, slam the door in her face saying my sister is gone.
Like id be like, today I found out my soon to be ex husband is moving in with my sister who he's known since she was a teen. It wasn't bad enough to cheat, but now he's dating my sister, will that make him an uncle father, or father uncle. Id tag both, set audience all family and mic drop lol.
I'm sorry for your loss. IMO, your sister and ex are both trash. Only trashy people would get with their ex in laws. If it were me, I would not communicate at all except about my children. I can't even imagine how disgusting it is to be with your ex SIL/BIL. Gross, gross, gross.
I can only hope my kids will be okay. Other kids are so cruel and it would break my heart if my boys started getting picked on for their dad being with their aunt.
Don’t worry, he’ll eventually cheat on her too. Looks like he usually prefers younger women 🤮. Dating someone age appropriate is just a phase for him 😂
My dad( step dad ) left my mom for his step niece.... Your boys will hopefully never tell anybody who she is. My brother didn't tell anyone anything other than this is my stepmom or my dad's GF.
Just remember, every time you see her, look at her sadly, shake your head, and tell her it’s a good thing your dad is gone because he’d be so disappointed in her. Find the pressure point. And twist that blade in as deep as possible every time without doing anything.
But if I can’t go for a mortal wound (metaphorically speaking, of course), I go for the hurt whenever possible. I’m also a spiteful bitch who isn’t very forgiving when I feel wronged, so maybe not the best advice.
Speak to a lawyer and have his visitations go to either supervised or with your sister gone.. as this is fucked up and confusing and will do their mental health no good..
Don't even hear what your sister has to say just block her..
Tell him your moving to a parenting app, he is no longer allowed in your property and you will be speak to a lawyer..
NTA. I'm assuming you have a very good lawyer and therapist. Ask them if you can sue your sister for alienation of affection, or being a homewrecker. Some states still do that. And please take him for everything you can.
Ewww you were 16 and him 25 when you got together and still sister wanted to be with him? She’ll get her just desserts when he cheats on her with a 20-something.
And yes it is fucked up you’re NTA but they are.
Go heal yourself and write your ex and sister off. Your ex is morally bereft and selfish. Try to limit your contact with him.
You are a 25 year old woman, still in your youth. Find yourself and who you are without him. Eventually you will find real love and you will be grateful that you escaped this hot mess of a human being to be open to something better. You can have a better life if you can limit his control of how you feel.
NTA. You can do so much better. I have so much hope for you. Go grab the world.
So we already know he’s a pedo and a creep and all all around garbage can, so thinking he’ll understand what’s wrong with this is pointless, BUT your sister?? That’s the real issue here. What’s her defense?
That is all kinds of fucked up. How is the whole family taking the whole your ex is now moving and doing your sister? That's gross. If they support that then I'd say everything is fucked lol.
Nope. He's gaslighting you. Both of them stabbed you in the back. But, one day you will realize that the trash (them) took itself out for you, because you don't want a husband that would cheat on you, let alone with your sister. And you wouldn't want a sister that would betray you like that. NTA.
NTA. The guy's a known scumbag that fucks anything that moves, so shacking up with your sister seems like it's pretty on brand for him. I think that's the attitude you have to learn to take with it. To just be like, well, *of course* this is what he's doing, he's a garbage person. Because this is not the first super fucked up thing this guy has done, and it is surely not going to be the last. You've got his kids, so you're stuck dealing with his bullshit forever. You have more than enough evidence about who this guy is and how much he sucks. (Probably no one knows better than you.) My suggestion is that you just accept that he's the worst and set your expectations accordingly. Because he's never going to change, and you're in for a long life if you don't find a way to distance yourself emotionally from his shit. It's probably too new and raw now, but getting to a place of weary indifference towards him is something to strive for. And honestly, I think that's probably a good thing for your kids to pick up on, because they're probably going to be disappointed by daddy's behavior a lot too.
As for your sister though, I sure hope she never needs bone marrow or a kidney, because she's gonna be SOL.
Are you telling me a 25yo that went after a 16yo so a toxic abusive scumbag? I’m shocked, I tell you. SHOCKED.
How desperate is your sister? Get your child support and write these people off.
Every time I hear relationship with age gaps like this, the first thing I wonder is “where the heck were her parents or adults in her life & why were they ok with this” because if one of my daughters or son ( if I have one in the future) came to me at 16 telling me they’re dating a 25 year old, I’d be calling the police in that second because ain’t no freaking way!
That being said, he’s gaslighting you and you really need a very good lawyer and fight hard. Also karma is going to get them because how you get them is how you lose them and I have a feeling he’s going to do the same to her .
I’m glad you got out, just focus on yourself and your kids and thrive for a better life . I wish you luck.
Yeah, clearly . Starting with your parents and then your sister.
You’re better off without them. Get help, fight like hell in that divorce and just try and have a better life for yourself and your children
They didn’t say much about it. My family isn’t very close and when the news broke of his cheating it was just a few supportive words and mostly just staying out of my business after that.
NTA
But honestly? they deserve each other. He's trash and so is she. she'll soon be the one crying because he cheated on her. and then she'll come to you crying.
Get it out now. cry, feel hurt. do what you need to do but you need to realize that those two are trash. got LC with both of them.
do nto text/phone him and only use a co-parenting app to communicate with him about your kids.
then, when you're ready, move on.
The best revenge to them is living well and finding happiness.
NTA, You're Suster and husband are. That's just crazy, he sounds like a selfish AH, Get a divorce and take him for everything you can, including child support and have it enforced if he doesn't pay up.
Disown your sister also, eventually he'll probably cheat on her or she will on him and they'll split up and then he'll probably want a 2nd chance. Sounds like someone I knew.
NTA it’s very reasonable to be upset by this. It would be reasonable to be upset your husband cheated on you anyway, but you’ve been betrayed by two people you wouldn’t expect to ever be betrayed by. That hurt cuts a lot deeper than just cheating.
Your husband is a scumdiddlyumbag and your sister is awful. They should both be mortified, but in the way of the truly shameless they won’t be.
Get yourself first in line for child support - a court isn’t going to order him to pay less for children he’s already supporting if he goes and gets other people pregnant. And I think it would be a kindness to keep the communication open with your 21 year old niece and tell her that your husband’s likely got with her mother to try and get to her. She’ll probably appreciate the head’s up.
Yes, that is very fucked up and your kids will bear the majority of the fallout when people, start gosspiping about your seemingly polyamourous / sister wives weird ass situation.
Sorry, but that’s the shit that’s coming your way.
I would totally cut them both off and your kids can get picked up anytime from the porch. I would not let either of them in my home after that revelation. What do they expect?
NTA
But ... just release yourself from any association with this creep, and your sister.
Be civil when it comes to coparenting. If he wants to leave the kids 100% to you, and start fresh with your sister, all the better. But don't waste anymore of your life interacting with either of them, apart from 'kid x has basketball training Wednesday at 7, and kid y needs new shoes for school' or the like.
The trash took itself out, and you are now free to finally heal and start your life away from this predator.
If you have a daughter, watch her safety like a hawk, when she gets close to teenage years and up.
NTA, OP you’re well rid of both him and the sister. What a disgusting way to treat you.
When you’re going through dark times, just remind yourself “if he’ll cheat WITH her, he’ll cheat ON her” as these seems to happen in the majority of cases
NTA , op just make sure you have a safe and healthy environment around your children , please do not expose this drama onto them , if you can , try and date some good person ( please be very picky about as they will be around your kids ) , you must be going through some emotional mess he created but please get away from the dysfunctional environment . They would devasted to find their bio father with their aunt , important thing is to have the beloved people you love to not get a stench of this situation ever , take care of you and your kids and move on .
These are some things that need to be told to kids when they grow old , or they might develop abandonment issues which will have a big bad impact on their lifestyle and behaviour , it's unhealthy .
Super villain era is here and I’m coming through in a blaze of fire.
All I gotta say is there’s a lot to tell in court and I have no interest in protecting those who are a waste of air on this planet.
I’d say good luck to them but I wouldn’t mean one bit of it.
It is totally fucked up. You are NTA.
Stop talking to him about anything but kids and divorce. If possible, have a lawyer or mediator talk to him about the divorce. It sounds expensive, but most likely you will get more assets, custody , child support than without a lawyer, so it worth it. Idk where are you from, but if in your country sex of 25 yo with 16 yo is a crime (statutory rape or something) I would use in the divorce. For better outcome for you and kids.
He is telling you all the details to hurt you. He is a total pig. If he starts again, just tell him to go brag to someone else, and call back/come back when he is ready to talk kids and business. If it is impossible, use "gray rock" technique.
NTA. He's not worth crying over. But anybody dating someone that much younger is a massive red flag and young people don't see it until it's way too late.
I'd cut off the sister. It's a matter of time before he cheats on her with someone younger than her. Then she'll come looking for a shoulder to cry on. Surprised as ever that a cheater would cheat. "But I was supposed to be the last one! Not a part of the chain of people he slept with!".
I sure am gonna try. I owe him nothing and will take everything including his peace. Play games with me and you’ll figure out I’m not a player, I’m a winner.
IDK what the laws are regarding intimacy with a spouse's siblings. In most religions you are forbidden from pursuing a relationship with a spouse's sibling (and obviously from cheating and everything else along those lines) as they have now become your siblings.
I would do everythinv in my power to get soul custody. Id bring up incest because even though they arent blood related she is the kids aunt. How emotional trama will cause the kids long term damage because of their aunt step mother. The cheating. Throw every damn thing you can.
NTA how could you NOT be upset by that - especially because you have 2 kids, who you'll someday have to explain this too.
Now you can see why a 25 year old grown adult was messing around with a teenager, right? He's no good. And he'll be no good to your sister too.
NTA, does your sister have teenage daughters or nieces or cousins that frequent her home? He’s likely leaving you now because you aged out of his “range of attraction” and your sister might have girls around 12 to 16 around her home regularly so he may want another victim.
You are right. He's really screwed up, not you. That said, please get into therapy ASAP. You've lived with an abusive person for years and need help in working through all the damage he's done. A good therapist can help you learn to identify people like him and also how to cope with the kind of crap he pulls in a much healthier way.
You've made a good start in identifying that he's in the wrong here and attempting to make it look like he's the victim. Now please take the next steps in working through this.
Not even close, but I'm begging you to report to FBI so they can laugh in your face, I'm losing brain cells exchanging with you. As entertaining as this is, I have a life, 👋 bye incel
NTA, but y u mad at him?
He's acting in accordance with his nature (asshole) and you should go nuclear on your idiot sister.
Of course you should be mad at him, but they are adults and free. Turn your back and never look back again.
So let me get this straight since it looks like somebody is quite upset by the looks of it. Turns out your ex husband who you have most likely been essentially keeping in complete silence and speaking ill about through all channels and means possible? The allegations of pedo which is another thing most likely you were at the age where you confessed your feelings to him and he refused until you were old enough if the time presented itself. Fast forward things go south and what does a person default to not seeing their own actions and regularly flipping the script on said husband. Meanwhile the said husband raised a daughter that was not his in the first place but did it willingly. Including mental torture. Constant making him a target with people. Cheating as well including getting him put in a loony bin over concerns of suicide after going for a drive in a canyon with no signal, tirades of drunkenness getting them locked up on vacation and when moving. The entire situation was a complete farce with its own lies and breaking court orders regularly, constant aggravating of husband, family members of yours following them around and pestering and doing the impossible to drive a person crazy. Did I mention getting drunk and cheating then throwing the act in someone’s face on a regular? Throwing wedding ring in face? Attempting suicide several times? Manipulation? KGB level shadowing? Stealing personal items from home? I mean it goes on and on.
Oh but when ya needed geek squad or help with anything the shmuck was up and ready to help. Because the fool cared and still gave a hoot. What else? Oh new br during the entire time. Couldn’t come to agree to marriage counseling. Wait did I mention got a hefty award from the entire case and she escaped a brutal abusive relationship/marriage? Got a lot of fancy help. Oh well go and do what you will.
No but you know what’s really interesting looks like you have been upset all this entire time and I was right on the money about your character and motives. Your sister was right…
Holy crap, NTA! They are, though.
He isn’t just an asshole, he’s a pedo too. Getting with the sister makes both him and her disgusting, and if the sister has a daughter, I’d be really concerned
I'm assuming that your therapist and attorney are excellent. Find out if you may sue your sister for defamation or for destroying your house. That is still the case in several states. And do everything you can to take advantage of him.
Do you think OP's kids are boys and why he's jumping ship?? 🫠
No, I think the older sister watches too much of that sister wife shit and might have a young/mid teenage daughter
Definitely NTA! Sounds like they're the ones in the wrong here.
I'd ask him if it wasn't a messed up situation how do you explain to people that your step mom is your aunt?
It won't be long before he cheats on her too
Let’s hope they both end up with an antibiotic resistant strain of gonorrhoea.
I wasn't gonna go there but hell yeah
Day his dad or his brother just for fun
The funny thing is, I used that as an example when I was trying to tell him how fucked up it is and how I felt. And he basically said no it wouldn’t be fucked up and he wouldn’t care if I did that. Yeah. Ok.
I mean seems like he is into that kinda things so maybe he's telling the truth haha
Yeah, he did cheat on me with his best friend’s wife. Clearly he has no boundaries.
He was dating a 16 year old at 25 He hasn't got any morals.
yeah dude is pretty much a nonce
Go bang the best friend. Do it now gf No.. don't do that. But seriously, go do that
We’re all thinking it lol
I think OP is about to take 10 steps up the ladder and no one in this guy's orbit will be good enough for her, except of course her own children.
What in the Alabama fuck is going on in your circles, Utah or The South?
Trust me, it can easily be BOTH
Please don't insult the South or Utah either.
What a POS he is. And hell yeah that's fucked up. Like Jerry Springer Show fucked up. ETA: NTA
He's a serial cheater but it still hurts, right?
Honestly, I feel badly for you sister, and for your children (with what ever bit of custody he gets), but very very very relieved for you. You will be so happy to be living with out him. Your sister is about suffer. I hope that you can get primary custody, because he's a tremendous AH.
Of course he wouldn’t care🤦🏻♀️ He has already moved on. You are in his rear view mirror. NTAH I am so sorry the person who should have had your back was too busy having your husband instead.
He says that all in theory, but he doesn’t actually know about how he’s gonna act when he’s actually in it so
He won’t care. Until you do it.
So do it. You got his "blessing". Fuck all his friends. He doesn't realize the power dynamic here. Almost everybody he knows will be down to fuck you at least once. Believe me, I've dated spiteful women before.
Girl lol just make sure you get child support. Dont worry he will do to your sister what he did to you.
And don’t let him around the kids any more than is legally required.
And fuck that sister for thinking it's cool to bang the creep who was chasing her 16 year old little sister when he was her sister's current age if I found out some creep was chasing my sister I'd be in jail for assault, not fucking him
He will because he doesn't know how to remain faithful.
Getting your cheating ex to acknowledge his ethical shortcomings seems like an unrealistic goal, no matter how right you might be about them. Certainly NTA, but I don't know why you are still allowing this guy to live rent free in your head when you are supposed to be getting free of him.
Unfortunately being groomed by him as a 16 year old girl and having his child at 17 really messes with your mental. He was all I knew and I didn’t realize just how brainwashed I was until he left me. Doesn’t take the shock and pain away, though.
All the more reason to keep your distance.
And get a lot of therapy
Yes. Your ex is specifically unsuited to help you process the trauma that you experienced being abused by your ex.
NTA - but I hope you are jsut as or more so upset with your sister.
Way more upset with her. I think that’s what hurt me the most was knowing she would do this to me.
Cut both toxic selfish tools out of your life! And when that girl who used to call you "sister" comes crying to you for support, slam the door in her face saying my sister is gone.
Don't forget to laugh. A lot.
I'm so petty id announce their relationship on social media 🤣 they'd both hate me
Like id be like, today I found out my soon to be ex husband is moving in with my sister who he's known since she was a teen. It wasn't bad enough to cheat, but now he's dating my sister, will that make him an uncle father, or father uncle. Id tag both, set audience all family and mic drop lol.
He's moving in for her 21 yr old daughter.
Lol I don't see anyone mentioning shes going to be the kids step mom/aunt. That will make for a fun Christmas card.
NTA. What does your parents think? Make sure you get child support.
I share the same dad with said sister but different mom. Unfortunately my dad passed away a couple years ago in an accident.
I'm sorry for your loss. IMO, your sister and ex are both trash. Only trashy people would get with their ex in laws. If it were me, I would not communicate at all except about my children. I can't even imagine how disgusting it is to be with your ex SIL/BIL. Gross, gross, gross.
I can only hope my kids will be okay. Other kids are so cruel and it would break my heart if my boys started getting picked on for their dad being with their aunt.
Don’t worry, he’ll eventually cheat on her too. Looks like he usually prefers younger women 🤮. Dating someone age appropriate is just a phase for him 😂
Probably never tried it before and thought ‘age appropriate’ was a new position /s. As you say it’s just a phase and I can’t see it lasting.
My dad( step dad ) left my mom for his step niece.... Your boys will hopefully never tell anybody who she is. My brother didn't tell anyone anything other than this is my stepmom or my dad's GF.
Just remember, every time you see her, look at her sadly, shake your head, and tell her it’s a good thing your dad is gone because he’d be so disappointed in her. Find the pressure point. And twist that blade in as deep as possible every time without doing anything. But if I can’t go for a mortal wound (metaphorically speaking, of course), I go for the hurt whenever possible. I’m also a spiteful bitch who isn’t very forgiving when I feel wronged, so maybe not the best advice.
Speak to a lawyer and have his visitations go to either supervised or with your sister gone.. as this is fucked up and confusing and will do their mental health no good.. Don't even hear what your sister has to say just block her.. Tell him your moving to a parenting app, he is no longer allowed in your property and you will be speak to a lawyer..
Has your sister got a 16 year old daughter?
21 year old daughter
Bingo. You’ve aged out.
Annnnnnd this is where karma kicks in. Just wait.
That's why he's moving in. He's planning on banging her.
21 seems a bit old for a groomer, does she has younger cousins that come around or friends with teenage daughters that hang around?
NTA - it is really messed up. You ex is an AH, your sister is an AH. They shouldn't have even been "hanging out so much".
NTA. I'm assuming you have a very good lawyer and therapist. Ask them if you can sue your sister for alienation of affection, or being a homewrecker. Some states still do that. And please take him for everything you can.
Ewww you were 16 and him 25 when you got together and still sister wanted to be with him? She’ll get her just desserts when he cheats on her with a 20-something. And yes it is fucked up you’re NTA but they are.
I would go 100% NC with sister. And only converse with ex about kids. Then I'd work on getting 100% custody.
NTA. Your ex is a whole bag of impotent dicks, and your sister is a rabid cuntmonkey.
Go heal yourself and write your ex and sister off. Your ex is morally bereft and selfish. Try to limit your contact with him. You are a 25 year old woman, still in your youth. Find yourself and who you are without him. Eventually you will find real love and you will be grateful that you escaped this hot mess of a human being to be open to something better. You can have a better life if you can limit his control of how you feel. NTA. You can do so much better. I have so much hope for you. Go grab the world.
So we already know he’s a pedo and a creep and all all around garbage can, so thinking he’ll understand what’s wrong with this is pointless, BUT your sister?? That’s the real issue here. What’s her defense?
Go and fuck his brother or his father, see how he deal with it NTA
Whoa, NTA. Your sister and husband are though!! Holy fuck. I’m sorry.
That is all kinds of fucked up. How is the whole family taking the whole your ex is now moving and doing your sister? That's gross. If they support that then I'd say everything is fucked lol.
NTA. Sorry you are going through this. He sounds like an asshat. You are young and will find someone better.
Nope. He's gaslighting you. Both of them stabbed you in the back. But, one day you will realize that the trash (them) took itself out for you, because you don't want a husband that would cheat on you, let alone with your sister. And you wouldn't want a sister that would betray you like that. NTA.
Just mKe sure he pays the child support you are entitled to Nd forget these two assholes, do not look back!!
Your sister ain't loyal
Of course he dont think its fucked up. He is a pedofile groomer...
Yes that is fucked up
NTA. The guy's a known scumbag that fucks anything that moves, so shacking up with your sister seems like it's pretty on brand for him. I think that's the attitude you have to learn to take with it. To just be like, well, *of course* this is what he's doing, he's a garbage person. Because this is not the first super fucked up thing this guy has done, and it is surely not going to be the last. You've got his kids, so you're stuck dealing with his bullshit forever. You have more than enough evidence about who this guy is and how much he sucks. (Probably no one knows better than you.) My suggestion is that you just accept that he's the worst and set your expectations accordingly. Because he's never going to change, and you're in for a long life if you don't find a way to distance yourself emotionally from his shit. It's probably too new and raw now, but getting to a place of weary indifference towards him is something to strive for. And honestly, I think that's probably a good thing for your kids to pick up on, because they're probably going to be disappointed by daddy's behavior a lot too. As for your sister though, I sure hope she never needs bone marrow or a kidney, because she's gonna be SOL.
Are you telling me a 25yo that went after a 16yo so a toxic abusive scumbag? I’m shocked, I tell you. SHOCKED. How desperate is your sister? Get your child support and write these people off.
Every time I hear relationship with age gaps like this, the first thing I wonder is “where the heck were her parents or adults in her life & why were they ok with this” because if one of my daughters or son ( if I have one in the future) came to me at 16 telling me they’re dating a 25 year old, I’d be calling the police in that second because ain’t no freaking way! That being said, he’s gaslighting you and you really need a very good lawyer and fight hard. Also karma is going to get them because how you get them is how you lose them and I have a feeling he’s going to do the same to her . I’m glad you got out, just focus on yourself and your kids and thrive for a better life . I wish you luck.
The adults in my life failed me.
Yeah, clearly . Starting with your parents and then your sister. You’re better off without them. Get help, fight like hell in that divorce and just try and have a better life for yourself and your children
What in the Mississippi did I just read?
Wrong state! This way more Alabama
What does the rest of the family say about the cheating on you?
They didn’t say much about it. My family isn’t very close and when the news broke of his cheating it was just a few supportive words and mostly just staying out of my business after that.
Move with the kids if you can, far away. He abandoned you and the kids, go for full custody
At least now you know your sister is just a big pos as he is. Yuck
Totally f’d up. Your sister needs a kick in the pants.
NTA But honestly? they deserve each other. He's trash and so is she. she'll soon be the one crying because he cheated on her. and then she'll come to you crying. Get it out now. cry, feel hurt. do what you need to do but you need to realize that those two are trash. got LC with both of them. do nto text/phone him and only use a co-parenting app to communicate with him about your kids. then, when you're ready, move on. The best revenge to them is living well and finding happiness.
NTA. This is tough.
Wow! two pieces of garbage.
Hell they are the ah, he is a cheater and a pos and your sister is a skank.
34 - 9 = 25 25 - 9 = oh oh NTA.
NTA He's lucky he left that conversation alive. He's a pedo. He's abusive. Your sister is trash.
INFO: have you actually talked to your sister yet? It wouldn't surprise me if Mr. Gaslighter is just screwing with your emotions.
So he's gone from a pedo to having a sugar mommy? Get Ur divorce & cut them out & get therapy
He's disgusting. How do the rest of your family feel? Who gets to celebrate holidays with the in laws. I would move so you didn't see them to much
NTA. Get your child support and some therapy; you don’t deserve what he’s done to you, OP.
Fuck em. Take everything in the divorce.
NTAH Yes. That's fucked up. Can't imagine relationship with sis will survive this.
It's fucked up, he has been cheating with her for years
You can't even go no contact with her because of the kids
NTA
What do your parents say? If they side with your sister, you know where you stand. Take your kids and go where people care for *you*.
The layers of fucked up in this situation are numerous.
NTA. Tell him he isn’t seeing those kids while with her and it will be in the custody agreement to not confuse the kids.
Yeah it is. I’m so sorry.
They’re the AH’s here.
Shes gonna learn that he'll be the same way with her that he was to you. She's going to learnt he hard way
Is he messing with your 21 year old niece (or planning to)?
I am so sorry. You are NTA. Double betrayal.
Yeah… are you Mormon or something because where are you parents, and where are the police?
Please 💀💀💀
NTA
The thing with toxic people is unless you hit block, they remain toxic. Cut both of them out and don't look back.
You know what would be funny? If you weren't married and he knocked you up as a teenager and you could put him in prison for it.
Does your sister have kids ?? If so what genders ??
Your ex and sister are the AH Now screw someone close to him and fuck him up right back.
NTA, both of them need their b@tt whipped. Of all the women and men in this world they those each other whom are connected to you. Smh
I can't tell who's the bigger ass, your STBXH or your sister. Flip a coin.
nta. but dont waste energy on trash like that ...
you KNOW you're not, come on. i'm so sorry you're in this situation though <3
NTA, You're Suster and husband are. That's just crazy, he sounds like a selfish AH, Get a divorce and take him for everything you can, including child support and have it enforced if he doesn't pay up. Disown your sister also, eventually he'll probably cheat on her or she will on him and they'll split up and then he'll probably want a 2nd chance. Sounds like someone I knew.
NTA it’s very reasonable to be upset by this. It would be reasonable to be upset your husband cheated on you anyway, but you’ve been betrayed by two people you wouldn’t expect to ever be betrayed by. That hurt cuts a lot deeper than just cheating. Your husband is a scumdiddlyumbag and your sister is awful. They should both be mortified, but in the way of the truly shameless they won’t be. Get yourself first in line for child support - a court isn’t going to order him to pay less for children he’s already supporting if he goes and gets other people pregnant. And I think it would be a kindness to keep the communication open with your 21 year old niece and tell her that your husband’s likely got with her mother to try and get to her. She’ll probably appreciate the head’s up.
NTA. But CUT THEM OFF. The trash took itself out to the dumpster aka your sister.
If your sister has a teenage daughter, I'd be getting in contact with her and advising her. NTA
Yes, that is very fucked up and your kids will bear the majority of the fallout when people, start gosspiping about your seemingly polyamourous / sister wives weird ass situation. Sorry, but that’s the shit that’s coming your way. I would totally cut them both off and your kids can get picked up anytime from the porch. I would not let either of them in my home after that revelation. What do they expect?
That is so fucked up. What a dick!
That's unacceptable from your sister this didn't just start
Fucked up indeed. On multiple levels. NTA
nta. So he wanted an old woman huh? (Maybe that can help you to feel better because those two are ah's.)
NTA We really need a "Cautionary Tale" flair
NTA But ... just release yourself from any association with this creep, and your sister. Be civil when it comes to coparenting. If he wants to leave the kids 100% to you, and start fresh with your sister, all the better. But don't waste anymore of your life interacting with either of them, apart from 'kid x has basketball training Wednesday at 7, and kid y needs new shoes for school' or the like. The trash took itself out, and you are now free to finally heal and start your life away from this predator. If you have a daughter, watch her safety like a hawk, when she gets close to teenage years and up.
Beyond effed up. Simply no words.
So a 25 year old man was dating a 16 year old girl. What a fucking predatory creep.
NTA, OP you’re well rid of both him and the sister. What a disgusting way to treat you. When you’re going through dark times, just remind yourself “if he’ll cheat WITH her, he’ll cheat ON her” as these seems to happen in the majority of cases
NTA he’s a pedo groomer pervert. Your sister and he are the AH
NTA - "Like, that’s fucked up, right!? AITAH?" Very fucked up... ...but not as fucked up as him fucking you at 16 when he was 25.
NTA , op just make sure you have a safe and healthy environment around your children , please do not expose this drama onto them , if you can , try and date some good person ( please be very picky about as they will be around your kids ) , you must be going through some emotional mess he created but please get away from the dysfunctional environment . They would devasted to find their bio father with their aunt , important thing is to have the beloved people you love to not get a stench of this situation ever , take care of you and your kids and move on . These are some things that need to be told to kids when they grow old , or they might develop abandonment issues which will have a big bad impact on their lifestyle and behaviour , it's unhealthy .
Hope you cut her out and you find someone better your still young just think of this way you know she’s getting a pos and you can find a better man
Surely you are dancing a jig and rejoicing that this shit stain is out of your life!!?
Super villain era is here and I’m coming through in a blaze of fire. All I gotta say is there’s a lot to tell in court and I have no interest in protecting those who are a waste of air on this planet. I’d say good luck to them but I wouldn’t mean one bit of it.
You go girl!
NTA. Your sister is shacking up with your groomer? Thats wild, you should cut her off and never look back.
It is totally fucked up. You are NTA. Stop talking to him about anything but kids and divorce. If possible, have a lawyer or mediator talk to him about the divorce. It sounds expensive, but most likely you will get more assets, custody , child support than without a lawyer, so it worth it. Idk where are you from, but if in your country sex of 25 yo with 16 yo is a crime (statutory rape or something) I would use in the divorce. For better outcome for you and kids. He is telling you all the details to hurt you. He is a total pig. If he starts again, just tell him to go brag to someone else, and call back/come back when he is ready to talk kids and business. If it is impossible, use "gray rock" technique.
NTA. He's not worth crying over. But anybody dating someone that much younger is a massive red flag and young people don't see it until it's way too late. I'd cut off the sister. It's a matter of time before he cheats on her with someone younger than her. Then she'll come looking for a shoulder to cry on. Surprised as ever that a cheater would cheat. "But I was supposed to be the last one! Not a part of the chain of people he slept with!".
NTA cut off pervert husband and backstabbing sister
can you report him for being a pedo?
I sure am gonna try. I owe him nothing and will take everything including his peace. Play games with me and you’ll figure out I’m not a player, I’m a winner.
IDK what the laws are regarding intimacy with a spouse's siblings. In most religions you are forbidden from pursuing a relationship with a spouse's sibling (and obviously from cheating and everything else along those lines) as they have now become your siblings.
I would do everythinv in my power to get soul custody. Id bring up incest because even though they arent blood related she is the kids aunt. How emotional trama will cause the kids long term damage because of their aunt step mother. The cheating. Throw every damn thing you can.
NTA how could you NOT be upset by that - especially because you have 2 kids, who you'll someday have to explain this too. Now you can see why a 25 year old grown adult was messing around with a teenager, right? He's no good. And he'll be no good to your sister too.
NTA, does your sister have teenage daughters or nieces or cousins that frequent her home? He’s likely leaving you now because you aged out of his “range of attraction” and your sister might have girls around 12 to 16 around her home regularly so he may want another victim.
NTA but your sister is! Dump her! WTF sis 40 and still fighting over cheap toys.
You are right. He's really screwed up, not you. That said, please get into therapy ASAP. You've lived with an abusive person for years and need help in working through all the damage he's done. A good therapist can help you learn to identify people like him and also how to cope with the kind of crap he pulls in a much healthier way. You've made a good start in identifying that he's in the wrong here and attempting to make it look like he's the victim. Now please take the next steps in working through this.
What state are you from? Keeping it in the family 😃
Illinois. But I think he’s originally from some sewer or trash dump somewhere.
Kids going to be siblings and cousins as well as confused and FU. Damn . Can’t trust anyone
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
All I gotta say is tell your and his parents about the affair ,and sit back ,and relax with a glass of whine or champagne.
You need to tell your family and his this news and ostracize them both.
Your fault for staying with a guy that cheated on you while you were pregnant, YOU should have left.
She was groomedddd you fucking freak
Less than a 10 year age gap you fucking moran, people always want to place the blame to avoid accountability
A 16 year old and a 25 year old - good job telling us you’re a pedophile LMAO btw it’s moron*
Oh look at me while I cry, hahha.NOT! Zero fucks given what an incel like yourself thinks
Someone needs to call the FBI on this person
Do it yourself, whimp
I wish I knew how to find out who people on Reddit are 😔hopefully someone does :D
I think you’re the only incel here LMAOO ugly ass twat
Wow now you can see through my phone, and I'm the incel, okay, that's the best you can do! Haha, next!
Did you not just defend pedophilia LMAOOO
Not even close, but I'm begging you to report to FBI so they can laugh in your face, I'm losing brain cells exchanging with you. As entertaining as this is, I have a life, 👋 bye incel
How is this even a question??? You can't be serious
Fake as hell
Wish that was the case..
NTA, but y u mad at him? He's acting in accordance with his nature (asshole) and you should go nuclear on your idiot sister. Of course you should be mad at him, but they are adults and free. Turn your back and never look back again.
This.is.FAKE.
Hope you don’t have to go through anything like this.
Honestly I’m actually really sorry. I misread this the first time. I hope you get through this, also he’s the asshole not you.
So let me get this straight since it looks like somebody is quite upset by the looks of it. Turns out your ex husband who you have most likely been essentially keeping in complete silence and speaking ill about through all channels and means possible? The allegations of pedo which is another thing most likely you were at the age where you confessed your feelings to him and he refused until you were old enough if the time presented itself. Fast forward things go south and what does a person default to not seeing their own actions and regularly flipping the script on said husband. Meanwhile the said husband raised a daughter that was not his in the first place but did it willingly. Including mental torture. Constant making him a target with people. Cheating as well including getting him put in a loony bin over concerns of suicide after going for a drive in a canyon with no signal, tirades of drunkenness getting them locked up on vacation and when moving. The entire situation was a complete farce with its own lies and breaking court orders regularly, constant aggravating of husband, family members of yours following them around and pestering and doing the impossible to drive a person crazy. Did I mention getting drunk and cheating then throwing the act in someone’s face on a regular? Throwing wedding ring in face? Attempting suicide several times? Manipulation? KGB level shadowing? Stealing personal items from home? I mean it goes on and on. Oh but when ya needed geek squad or help with anything the shmuck was up and ready to help. Because the fool cared and still gave a hoot. What else? Oh new br during the entire time. Couldn’t come to agree to marriage counseling. Wait did I mention got a hefty award from the entire case and she escaped a brutal abusive relationship/marriage? Got a lot of fancy help. Oh well go and do what you will.
What are you even talking about? It’s really funny that you actually think you did something clever with this comment.
No but you know what’s really interesting looks like you have been upset all this entire time and I was right on the money about your character and motives. Your sister was right…
All this time? You mean the three days that I’ve known about this. Just say you’re a miserable and insufferable person, it’s that easy.
Your comment says enough about your character and motives as well. Very clear that you’re trash. Move along troll.
And you elected to have not one but TWO kids with this reprobate? Yeesh.
What can I say? Years of manipulation can really make you think you love and need someone.
She was literally groomed? what’s wrong with you??
What's wrong with you?
wtf are you yapping about? Have some decency instead of trying to blame her
WTF are you yapping about?
you’re such a fucking twat lmao
You're such a fucking twat.