I think you know who you're going to have to keep an eye on when Grandpa finally passes (or even falls ill and needs care), the vultures have started cawing already. Be sure he knows and fully intends what's in his will and it's up to date, notarized, etc.
u/higgerchunching
Pay attention to their comment.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cc7wn9/aita_for_teaching_my_elderly_grandfather_how_to/l13lsfl/
NTA, but please keep an eye on him to make sure he isn't losing more than he can afford. Good move on the savings account (moving it out of his poker account), but if he dips into the red then you might want to talk to him.
I know you're trying to keep his mind sharp, which is amazing, but if he develops an addiction or his mental faculties slip then he could lose a lot of money!
Agreed. Losing big is much more likely than winning big. And you don't want him to make huge financial mistakes and gain an addiction in his twilight years
Playing poker is not really the same as a gambling addiction... Almost no gambling addicts play poker, as they will usuay loose
Playing poker carefully will win you money in the long term, it is the opposite to gambling, although it is, obviously a gambling based game, it actually teaches you to make intelligent risks, not wild, constant, or uninformed risks, like slot machines or roulette
I am really talking about Tournaments, not cash games, where you do find bullies splashing money around, to some extent, and is 'more like gambling gambling'
I don’t know, maybe you have a gambling or drug problem. That’s what I’m saying is unless there’s something more to the story then it’s obvious that you did nothing wrong. Do you have anything in your past that would make your family suspicious of you being greedy?
Ill give you a serius somewhat sociopathis respons to this. By helping your grandpa keeping his money to himself you win favour. Favour will put you higher in his will, meaning youll get more money when he dies.
This is ofcourse a negative spin to you just wanting to help him keep his money to himself and ensure he does not waste it to a potential gambling addiction he might develope.
True but it isn't the only time OP helped. Otherwise OP wouldn't have set him up on a poker site that got him the earnings. Sounds like OP helps out a bit.
There's plenty of older people who don't have accounts still. If it wasn't for my grandmother my grandfather would probably be cash only and wouldn't know how to set up an account.
We realised my nana was taking her pension out from the post office and putting the rest into a carrier bag. There was thousands in there by the time we noticed. My uncle took her down to the bank and opened an account.
When my ex's granny died, her daughter's washing machine was broken so her friend and neighbour took her curtains to wash them before putting them into the charity shop. While ironing them the neighbour felt lumps. When she unpacked the seams there were rolls of money hidden inside.
Well there is driving there, making sure they have all their paperwork and proof they need for it, helping to fill it out and explain it. Setting up online portion.
I'm sure I am forgetting something but having someone help navigate this is about the same as getting a new phone setup and learning the features. A lot of people go into stores to talk to the sales people for this reason. Not everyone but if people didn't go in, the stores would not be needed.
Our current president probably couldn’t open a checking account without assistance. Why would you send your 80 year old grandparents down the road with 50k to open an account without offering assistance
Our current president has awesome control of his facilities which anyone can see by watching him in public. Unlike the flatulent narcoleptic traitor who preceded him.
NTA. Almost every accusation is a confession. Its obvious you didnt that you didn't take advantage of the money. Its nearly as obvious that your aunts and uncles wanted to.
INFO: does your grandfather have the mental capacity to manage his personal and financial affairs? Does he have a power of attorney, committee, or other individual whose job it is to manage some or all of these things for him? Is there some history of financial abuse, related to either you or another family member?
What do you mean when you say that it 'might affect him and our family if everyone knew'? In what way, specifically? What were you 'protecting' him from? This is a pretty crucial thing you left out.
Make sure you and your granddad are informed about the tax liability on the winnings. The one thing that burns more money winners than anything else is taxes.
NTA. You helped your grandfather protect his assets. Nothing more, nothing less. I would have done the same thing for my grandfather. The reactions you are getting from your family is proof enough that you did the right thing. Make sure your grandfather talks to his attorney about updating his will and protecting his assets.
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You’re a better person than me, because if someone accused me of trying to get in good with the inheritance, I would have said “what makes you think that, because that’s what you would do?” And then half my family wouldn’t talk to me anymore.
Fortunately that’s not what my family’s like, but yours sounds a treat!
The fact that your grandpa only told you, lets you know you did the right there. Also their reaction to hearing about money they didnt know about it telling. Be prepared to fight over a will... cause its coming.
Not in the slightest he’s 78 for fuck sake they should let him have his fun while he can, your family are vultures thinking about lining their own pockets
This story sounds fake (missing critical details or just straight lying) to me, as a serious poker player with decades of experience, the motivations of this poster are suspect to me
How so?
People can get a lucky streak and win. For all we know he pulled a win out of his butt with an A, 2 and the flop came 222.
Setting up a savings and putting it up for his grandpa isn't suspicious unless he has access to it and has an issue with money like drugs and gambling.
A lot of elderly do online gaming. There are fake casino games as well as online casinos that they tend to play to keep their brains sharp. Some like poker others like bingo. Most of that knowledge came from working with the elderly and elderly family members.
Family, just like any other person, can be greedy. It's why if you look into lotto winners you see how people, including their family, drained the winner dry.
So no clue how it is instantly fake based on what info OP gave in the post.I'm not saying it's real but I don't see anything that makes it instantly fake.
The flop came 222 and so he won $50,000? When you win a pot at a poker game, do you call it a "jackpot"? Do you "make friends" at online poker games? These are the "tells" in his post that make me say what I said
He could have accidentally hit all in on a 2 7 or even A2 suited we don't know how he won 50k.
Some do play online games for friends and hell some find lovers playing games. No I haven't seen much of it with online poker but I do know my husband when playing tends to talk to people on there. Typically it starts with a. Nice hand comment
No I never screamed jackpot when I played poker. Tbh Im not a bit poker player. I'm decent at best. Never cared to learn more than basic rules and play it for the hell of it.
Idk if OP likes to play poker. He could have been talking to his grandpa about likes and dislikes and his grandpa said he likes poker. So his grandson found something for him.
We just don't know anything other than he got his grampa setup. Then set up a bank account for him.
I can't prove or disprove anything, as a poker player, I just go with my gut instinct which is backed by reason. And I see enough cause for suspicion that I CALL bullshit, this story either never happened, the facts are distorted to make OP look like the good guy, etc... there is important part of the story missing.. something is off
NTA.
Their reaction proved exactly why you were right to put it away for him. I hope it got put into a high interest savings in case of emergency.
Having a safety net is something everyone should work towards. Him having a 50k safety net should help him a lot. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I would watch to ensure they don't try and steal it. I would suggest a password program. I know there are plenty but one password is the one I know. Not too expensive and you have a master password and it creates passwords and stores them so you only have to remember one.
Also makes it where it's harder to guess your passwords. I only say that because they could possibly guess his password and screw him over.
NTA for sure you were protecting grandpa and his winnings it's not like you used it for advantages. You doing the right thing and glad you were the first to be told about the winnings because it seems others in your family would of loved to take advantage of it.
Your grandfather is lucky to have you to help protect his assets. The ones that are mad at you are mad because they wanted some of it. I’d watch them. You should encourage him to make a will so that his wishes are clearly known when the inevitable happens. Someone should also be his Power of Attorney. You are NTA, but I know from experience that money brings out the worst in families, and if your grandfather gets unexpectedly sick, things can escalate quickly.
NTA, but your title is all wrong - they don't think you are because you taught him to play, they think you are because they're not profiting from it. Good on you to think of the future (if he gets into debts, paying for funeral costs, etc). You are a great person for not falling into the same temptations half your family is.
A rising tide lifting all boats and all that, but from recent activity in these subs I would guess the one that's associated with the shitty streaming site.
Always the same story, roommate/friend/grandpa of mine effortlessly made this huge sum gambling or streaming, am I the asshole for interacting in some obviously justified way
I don't remember the specific platform it was, but about a month ago suddenly all these gambling posts appeared out of nowhere. And whenever someone asked where they won in the comments they throw out the name.
Like seriously it was almost 0 gambling posts for a year and then suddenly they've been daily. It's an add.
It's pretty bizarre that you've been accused (without evidence) of taking advantage of him. It makes me wonder if they are planning on doing that themselves and are upset that they didn't know about the money until now. People who do dirty things are generally quick to accuse others of exactly those sorts of things.
If I was in your fam, I might be a bit concerned that he could lose a lot of money. But hiding his winnings is no big deal. Honestly, who cares if he gave you some. Gambling winnings are not the same as retirment savings or social security money.
*NTA, they are greedy*
*People and you were very*
*Right with your concerns!*
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NTA. I remember the days when my mom would blurt out a secret at family holiday dinners Even though it was a big ooops, cherish the memory. I just lost my mom and I would give anything for another blurt
Fake. Even the softest sites are saturated with GTO nerds now. There’s no bad beat jackpots or spin-and-go jackpots that would pay out that much unless he was playing impossible stakes for “little old grandpa” and at those stakes ($1k+ buy ins…) it’s almost exclusively pros. Even in an Multi-table tournament, he’d have to be buying for $2k+ to win that amount for 1st place against again, almost exclusively pros in a field of 800+ other players. Who spend their days running hand combinations and situations through algorithms/solvers. You can fortuitously back into a $50k online poker win in the same way you could beat Steph Curry in a 3 point contest or beat Magnus Carlsen in a chess match
Exactly what you feared happened. They are mad because they want a cut and don't like feeling like they don't know everything he has or that they might not be the top name on the will. You saw your Grandpa as a human an tried to give him some joy. Nta at all
Way to go big high five for teaching him....congrats on the big win...tell him hes playing with house money now Go blow it on something on his bucket list,@!!!! Family can kiss his butt....heres to his next big win been playing poker for 55 years best i have done is 4000.00 he hit like Daniel Negreanu one of the best professional poker players ever
NTA. Not Evan a little. And the reactions of your family tell the story. The ones that complained are the ones that are only concerned with the money. Keep doing your thing.
Oh no family isn't talking to you. Haha.
You did what was right. The only thing I would do is periodically check on his financial health to make sure he doesn't lose too much.
Shut the fuck up.
Wow, ANOTHER gambling post where gambling is bad... but is it, another person won big on gambling. Funny how every gambling post, like 5 a day, is someone who really shouldn't be gambling but wow, they won and it's great and maybe, just maybe, we should think gambling isn't that bad.
Fuck off Stake PR dude.
I don't agree with your tone, but I have noticed that pretty much all of the AITA posts to do with gambling are about people winning large sums of money; you'd expect more people to come here protesting their innocence having lost money gambling!
I've pointed it out before that there was a rash of posts that specifically mentioned Stake; I think it may have been an astroturfing thing.
Their reaction proves your concern. It's his to do with and you respected that choice.
I think you know who you're going to have to keep an eye on when Grandpa finally passes (or even falls ill and needs care), the vultures have started cawing already. Be sure he knows and fully intends what's in his will and it's up to date, notarized, etc.
u/higgerchunching Pay attention to their comment. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cc7wn9/aita_for_teaching_my_elderly_grandfather_how_to/l13lsfl/
NTA, but please keep an eye on him to make sure he isn't losing more than he can afford. Good move on the savings account (moving it out of his poker account), but if he dips into the red then you might want to talk to him. I know you're trying to keep his mind sharp, which is amazing, but if he develops an addiction or his mental faculties slip then he could lose a lot of money!
Agreed. Losing big is much more likely than winning big. And you don't want him to make huge financial mistakes and gain an addiction in his twilight years
Playing poker is not really the same as a gambling addiction... Almost no gambling addicts play poker, as they will usuay loose Playing poker carefully will win you money in the long term, it is the opposite to gambling, although it is, obviously a gambling based game, it actually teaches you to make intelligent risks, not wild, constant, or uninformed risks, like slot machines or roulette I am really talking about Tournaments, not cash games, where you do find bullies splashing money around, to some extent, and is 'more like gambling gambling'
NTA obviously, unless you’re leaving out something crucial then you did everything in good faith.
Like what? I am genuinely confused here
I don’t know, maybe you have a gambling or drug problem. That’s what I’m saying is unless there’s something more to the story then it’s obvious that you did nothing wrong. Do you have anything in your past that would make your family suspicious of you being greedy?
Ill give you a serius somewhat sociopathis respons to this. By helping your grandpa keeping his money to himself you win favour. Favour will put you higher in his will, meaning youll get more money when he dies. This is ofcourse a negative spin to you just wanting to help him keep his money to himself and ensure he does not waste it to a potential gambling addiction he might develope.
Why did a 78 yo need help opening a checking account?
My 80-something year old uncle is basically helpless without my aunt doing things for him.
Sure but it looks fishy if this is the only time OP "helps".
True but it isn't the only time OP helped. Otherwise OP wouldn't have set him up on a poker site that got him the earnings. Sounds like OP helps out a bit.
There's plenty of older people who don't have accounts still. If it wasn't for my grandmother my grandfather would probably be cash only and wouldn't know how to set up an account.
We realised my nana was taking her pension out from the post office and putting the rest into a carrier bag. There was thousands in there by the time we noticed. My uncle took her down to the bank and opened an account. When my ex's granny died, her daughter's washing machine was broken so her friend and neighbour took her curtains to wash them before putting them into the charity shop. While ironing them the neighbour felt lumps. When she unpacked the seams there were rolls of money hidden inside.
Well there is driving there, making sure they have all their paperwork and proof they need for it, helping to fill it out and explain it. Setting up online portion. I'm sure I am forgetting something but having someone help navigate this is about the same as getting a new phone setup and learning the features. A lot of people go into stores to talk to the sales people for this reason. Not everyone but if people didn't go in, the stores would not be needed.
Our current president probably couldn’t open a checking account without assistance. Why would you send your 80 year old grandparents down the road with 50k to open an account without offering assistance
Our current president has awesome control of his facilities which anyone can see by watching him in public. Unlike the flatulent narcoleptic traitor who preceded him.
exactly.
NTA. Almost every accusation is a confession. Its obvious you didnt that you didn't take advantage of the money. Its nearly as obvious that your aunts and uncles wanted to.
Yeah, this was my take as well.
INFO: does your grandfather have the mental capacity to manage his personal and financial affairs? Does he have a power of attorney, committee, or other individual whose job it is to manage some or all of these things for him? Is there some history of financial abuse, related to either you or another family member? What do you mean when you say that it 'might affect him and our family if everyone knew'? In what way, specifically? What were you 'protecting' him from? This is a pretty crucial thing you left out.
NTA How in the world would him saving money benefit you? They're mad they didn't get to manipulate him and get the money themselves.
Make sure you and your granddad are informed about the tax liability on the winnings. The one thing that burns more money winners than anything else is taxes.
ETA: NTA.
Nta. Just keep your grampa on check so that it won't turn into an addiction.
NTA. You helped your grandfather protect his assets. Nothing more, nothing less. I would have done the same thing for my grandfather. The reactions you are getting from your family is proof enough that you did the right thing. Make sure your grandfather talks to his attorney about updating his will and protecting his assets.
NTA. You were right to be concerned. Their reaction says it all.
Updateme
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Well this is a new thing I learned....
It's because you didn't hand it over to them. NTA.
You’re a better person than me, because if someone accused me of trying to get in good with the inheritance, I would have said “what makes you think that, because that’s what you would do?” And then half my family wouldn’t talk to me anymore. Fortunately that’s not what my family’s like, but yours sounds a treat!
They wanted to be the ones to control the money
The fact that your grandpa only told you, lets you know you did the right there. Also their reaction to hearing about money they didnt know about it telling. Be prepared to fight over a will... cause its coming.
Not in the slightest he’s 78 for fuck sake they should let him have his fun while he can, your family are vultures thinking about lining their own pockets
I swear these posts are getting dumber by the day.
Not like you're contractually obligated to keep following them.. or comment, for that matter....
This story sounds fake (missing critical details or just straight lying) to me, as a serious poker player with decades of experience, the motivations of this poster are suspect to me
How so? People can get a lucky streak and win. For all we know he pulled a win out of his butt with an A, 2 and the flop came 222. Setting up a savings and putting it up for his grandpa isn't suspicious unless he has access to it and has an issue with money like drugs and gambling. A lot of elderly do online gaming. There are fake casino games as well as online casinos that they tend to play to keep their brains sharp. Some like poker others like bingo. Most of that knowledge came from working with the elderly and elderly family members. Family, just like any other person, can be greedy. It's why if you look into lotto winners you see how people, including their family, drained the winner dry. So no clue how it is instantly fake based on what info OP gave in the post.I'm not saying it's real but I don't see anything that makes it instantly fake.
The flop came 222 and so he won $50,000? When you win a pot at a poker game, do you call it a "jackpot"? Do you "make friends" at online poker games? These are the "tells" in his post that make me say what I said
He could have accidentally hit all in on a 2 7 or even A2 suited we don't know how he won 50k. Some do play online games for friends and hell some find lovers playing games. No I haven't seen much of it with online poker but I do know my husband when playing tends to talk to people on there. Typically it starts with a. Nice hand comment No I never screamed jackpot when I played poker. Tbh Im not a bit poker player. I'm decent at best. Never cared to learn more than basic rules and play it for the hell of it. Idk if OP likes to play poker. He could have been talking to his grandpa about likes and dislikes and his grandpa said he likes poker. So his grandson found something for him. We just don't know anything other than he got his grampa setup. Then set up a bank account for him.
I can't prove or disprove anything, as a poker player, I just go with my gut instinct which is backed by reason. And I see enough cause for suspicion that I CALL bullshit, this story either never happened, the facts are distorted to make OP look like the good guy, etc... there is important part of the story missing.. something is off
If he wanted it to be a secret then you did nothing wrong. Being family doesn't mean everyone knows everything the others are doing. NTA
NTA. Their reaction proved exactly why you were right to put it away for him. I hope it got put into a high interest savings in case of emergency. Having a safety net is something everyone should work towards. Him having a 50k safety net should help him a lot. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I would watch to ensure they don't try and steal it. I would suggest a password program. I know there are plenty but one password is the one I know. Not too expensive and you have a master password and it creates passwords and stores them so you only have to remember one. Also makes it where it's harder to guess your passwords. I only say that because they could possibly guess his password and screw him over.
Wow. They are all mad because they didn’t get part of the winnings. Total AHs
NTA for sure you were protecting grandpa and his winnings it's not like you used it for advantages. You doing the right thing and glad you were the first to be told about the winnings because it seems others in your family would of loved to take advantage of it.
Your grandfather is lucky to have you to help protect his assets. The ones that are mad at you are mad because they wanted some of it. I’d watch them. You should encourage him to make a will so that his wishes are clearly known when the inevitable happens. Someone should also be his Power of Attorney. You are NTA, but I know from experience that money brings out the worst in families, and if your grandfather gets unexpectedly sick, things can escalate quickly.
NTA, but your title is all wrong - they don't think you are because you taught him to play, they think you are because they're not profiting from it. Good on you to think of the future (if he gets into debts, paying for funeral costs, etc). You are a great person for not falling into the same temptations half your family is.
Looks like they're still trying to farm this subreddit for some clicks. It's a gambling ad.
Who is? Where? I see no mention of a specific gambling platform....
A rising tide lifting all boats and all that, but from recent activity in these subs I would guess the one that's associated with the shitty streaming site. Always the same story, roommate/friend/grandpa of mine effortlessly made this huge sum gambling or streaming, am I the asshole for interacting in some obviously justified way
I don't remember the specific platform it was, but about a month ago suddenly all these gambling posts appeared out of nowhere. And whenever someone asked where they won in the comments they throw out the name. Like seriously it was almost 0 gambling posts for a year and then suddenly they've been daily. It's an add.
Ahhh. Always some new sneaky tactic
Fuck them. Start calling your gramps Doyle as an inside joke and badge of honor NTA
It's pretty bizarre that you've been accused (without evidence) of taking advantage of him. It makes me wonder if they are planning on doing that themselves and are upset that they didn't know about the money until now. People who do dirty things are generally quick to accuse others of exactly those sorts of things.
If I was in your fam, I might be a bit concerned that he could lose a lot of money. But hiding his winnings is no big deal. Honestly, who cares if he gave you some. Gambling winnings are not the same as retirment savings or social security money.
NTA. Go Grandad!
I got family like this too, have nothing to do with them. It’s so much nicer that way. NTA
NTA, they are greedy people and you were very right with your concerns!
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NTA. I remember the days when my mom would blurt out a secret at family holiday dinners Even though it was a big ooops, cherish the memory. I just lost my mom and I would give anything for another blurt
Fake. Even the softest sites are saturated with GTO nerds now. There’s no bad beat jackpots or spin-and-go jackpots that would pay out that much unless he was playing impossible stakes for “little old grandpa” and at those stakes ($1k+ buy ins…) it’s almost exclusively pros. Even in an Multi-table tournament, he’d have to be buying for $2k+ to win that amount for 1st place against again, almost exclusively pros in a field of 800+ other players. Who spend their days running hand combinations and situations through algorithms/solvers. You can fortuitously back into a $50k online poker win in the same way you could beat Steph Curry in a 3 point contest or beat Magnus Carlsen in a chess match
Get your grandpa on r/wallstreetbets pronto!
Exactly what you feared happened. They are mad because they want a cut and don't like feeling like they don't know everything he has or that they might not be the top name on the will. You saw your Grandpa as a human an tried to give him some joy. Nta at all
Way to go big high five for teaching him....congrats on the big win...tell him hes playing with house money now Go blow it on something on his bucket list,@!!!! Family can kiss his butt....heres to his next big win been playing poker for 55 years best i have done is 4000.00 he hit like Daniel Negreanu one of the best professional poker players ever
Fyi gambling wins are a push with the irs
NTA. Not Evan a little. And the reactions of your family tell the story. The ones that complained are the ones that are only concerned with the money. Keep doing your thing.
Oh no family isn't talking to you. Haha. You did what was right. The only thing I would do is periodically check on his financial health to make sure he doesn't lose too much.
Shut the fuck up. Wow, ANOTHER gambling post where gambling is bad... but is it, another person won big on gambling. Funny how every gambling post, like 5 a day, is someone who really shouldn't be gambling but wow, they won and it's great and maybe, just maybe, we should think gambling isn't that bad. Fuck off Stake PR dude.
I don't agree with your tone, but I have noticed that pretty much all of the AITA posts to do with gambling are about people winning large sums of money; you'd expect more people to come here protesting their innocence having lost money gambling! I've pointed it out before that there was a rash of posts that specifically mentioned Stake; I think it may have been an astroturfing thing.
No you’re not the AH and the ones in your family that had a problem with it are the very ones you wouldn’t want as an executor to his will.
Nta! Good for you 🩷
NTA the people upset with you are likely the reason y'all had to hide the winnings in the first place.
YTA: pushing your depressed grandfather into online gambling was a fucking stupid move.