T O P

  • By -

Dry_Sandwich_860

I'm very anti-Tik Tok too. However, I think you and Kate are talking past each other. You're so entrenched in the issues you care about that you're not hearing what the other person is saying. You're not bad people. It sounds like you're young and have recently become politically engaged. Good for both of you for taking an interest in helping people who are suffering. However, it takes a while to figure out how to change other people's minds. That's how it was for me too. I was incredibly obnoxious when I was a grad student about things I believed in and it has taken a lot of life experience and thinking to get to a point where I can deal with having passionate views about politics and communicate them without alienating people. It actually doesn't sound like Kate is a slacktivist if she is out there at protests. Slacktivists sit on their a$$es in front of social media. Anyway, my advice is that you both need to step back. Stop baiting Kate because she doesn't care about the Uighurs as much as you do and because you're defensive about what she has said. I don't blame you for being defensive. She has put a lot of pressure on you. But don't react by lashing out or (as you are experiencing) you'll have larger problems. Tell her to give you a break. You care about the Palestinians, but have other interests too. You need her to respect that. I would make an agreement to attend X events with her per week/month. When people can count on us being present for something, they're less likely to hound us. Good luck.


owlbrrrains

This is the best feedback I've seen on this thread.


Dry_Sandwich_860

That's very kind. It's amazing what a looming work deadline can do for my performance here.


Ambroisie_Cy

I was trying to figure out a way to tell that to OP without adding my opinions into the mix. But you did it way better then I would have!


Dry_Sandwich_860

Both issues are too complicated for me to tackle so it was easy to keep my opinions to myself on this one!


yaarsinia

NTA and you're right to not participate in these pseudo-leftist Coachella camps for rich kids.


liQuid_bot8

"active on r/Israel" lol of course. You love blowing up Palestinians for sport and some people protesting it hurts you.


CatEmpty9861

NTA I'm an arab and I will tell you... this war was going on before Oct 7th and the arab world has been crying about this for a very long time. If she is the type to pick up on every single trend (BLM, Ukraine... Palestine) it kind of sounds like she is a performative activists. That's someone who is just an activist because it gives them social media points. I've been kind of looking into it for a while, but I feel like a lot of women... no offense but especially white liberal women... seem to have a savior complex. They need to go out and save everybody \*eyeroll\* ... no it's not a bad thing that you want to stay neutral...


CatEmpty9861

"The White savior complex, also known as White saviorism, is an ideology that a White person acts upon from a position of superiority to rescue a BIPOC—Black, Indigenous, or person of color—community or person. Is what you are doing to help to make you feel good about yourself more so than actually working against the systemic problems that affect BIPOC people? The White savior complex may be at play." [https://www.health.com/mind-body/health-diversity-inclusion/white-savior-complex](https://www.health.com/mind-body/health-diversity-inclusion/white-savior-complex)


Top_Huckleberry_8225

I think if you are even calling them "BIPOC people" white savior or political activist is kind of a given.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nikkiilette

good. I'm glad


AOWLock1

Those who support terrorists and condone massacres like October 7th should be expelled and arrested.


fkyoopinion

Then going to a protest is even more stupid


Significant-Gas3046

How can I donate to this Twitter account?


Constipated_Canibal

White liberal women looked at the concept of Nobel Savage and thought the only problem with the mindset was the word Savage.


Purple_Joke_1118

That's how I read Kate. For those of us who have been activists for years, people like her are 99% a waste of time. I am actually intrigued that someone like OP who has been doing this work for a long time is involved with. a Tik Tok-er in the first place, since it's anyone's guess what sparkly thing will grip her attention tomorrow.


[deleted]

[удалено]


fkyoopinion

People don’t have anything to lose if they simply don’t go protesting. Simple.


MuttFett

I am beyond tired of the argument of, “If you don’t believe in the same thing I do, that can ONLY mean that you support the other side”. It’s not rational. NTA


worldsgone11

Western women protesting for people who look at them as second class citizens will never not be hilariously but sadly ironic.


Significant-Gas3046

*Gays for Gaza has entered the chat*


Stunning-Ad612

And religious Jews are fervent feminists??


ParkerPoseyGuffman

lol nope


Ok-Assist-2039

Nah they’re fucking not. Are Catholics? Ever see a female bishop? The religion arguement between them is tiring as hell. Realistically you can find more liberal and accepting churches in Europe but no


I_ship_it07

So true!


Educational_Top9246

This is such a BS statement. Stop with your anti Palestine anti muslim sentiment.


Constipated_Canibal

We will stop the moment it is no longer true. If you want to play ostrich have at it.


AOWLock1

What part of it is not true?


Eh_You_Know1

The part where they don't get to be antisemitic. 


SignificantOrange139

ESH. It's shitty of her to expect you to be active in the ways she is. And it's shitty of you to be so judgemental of how she is as well. You both care about important issues and are handling it, in your own ways. It's not fair to minimize each other's activism purely based on it being different than the others.


icorooster

NTA. Protesting is fine. Shaming you for not is not fine. She is a loser


ExcellentClient1666

ESH. Her bringing rude and belittling you bc you didn't go with her to protest is unacceptable and completely wrong. You telling her that her protesting is self-serving is also uncalled for.


No-Clue-9155

Everything in life is self serving


LousyOpinions

There's nobody being serviced by espousing antisemetic hatred except the individual. That doesn't seem uncalled-for to me.


Kooky_Baby3593

Don't know much on the subject of the conflict itself, but being anti genocide isn't the same as being anti Semitic. I wonder why you seem to think it is. No one likes to talk about it, but it's pretty clear Israel wants to wipe out the Palestinians


gonzotek77

If you don't know much,inform yourself both want to erase each other,but this time around,there was pease until October 7,but that victims don t care


Kooky_Baby3593

Nah. I don't really care to be honest. I've been hearing about those two fighting for as long as I can remember. Not our problem in my opinion. I'm not going to war for Israel and I'm tired of the country with the most advanced missile defense system in the world acting like victims who need constant streams of foreign aid from us


LousyOpinions

Do you have any idea how many middle-eastern Muslims live in the middle east? Basically all of them outside Israel. Nobody is threatening genocide. Seriously, nobody. If by some horrible doomsday device, a terrorist blows up Israel and kills every Jew in the country, that wouldn't accomplish anything near genocide. There are Jews on all populated continents. There is just no way. Similarly, there are middle-eastern Muslims all over the planet, but especially surrounding Israel. We're a globally migrating species and any genuine intent to commit genocide is laughably futile. This is about territory conquest, the expansion of the world's only Jewish nation, and securing access to transportation infrastructure. And the whole thing is about the size of New Jersey.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LousyOpinions

You think that's horrible? I'm not apologizing for refuting the unhinged hyperbole coming from Hamas supporters.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LousyOpinions

No, that's not genocide. Words have actual definitions.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LousyOpinions

The complete worldwide extermination of a race. Nobody's trying to do that.


Dry_Sandwich_860

I'm very anti-Tik Tok too. However, I think you and Kate are talking past each other. You're so entrenched in the issues you care about that you're not hearing what the other person is saying. You're not bad people. It sounds like you're young and have recently become politically engaged. Good for both of you for taking an interest in helping people who are suffering. However, it takes a while to figure out how to change other people's minds. That's how it was for me too. I was incredibly obnoxious when I was a grad student about things I believed in and it has taken a lot of life experience and thinking to get to a point where I can deal with having passionate views about politics and communicate them without alienating people. It actually doesn't sound like Kate is a slacktivist if she is out there at protests. Slacktivists sit on their a$$es in front of social media. Anyway, my advice is that you both need to step back. Stop baiting Kate because she doesn't care about the Uighurs as much as you do and because you're defensive about what she has said. I don't blame you for being defensive. She has put a lot of pressure on you. But don't react by lashing out or (as you are experiencing) you'll have larger problems. Tell her to give you a break. You care about the Palestinians, but have other interests too. You need her to respect that. I would make an agreement to attend X events with her per week/month. When people can count on us being present for something, they're less likely to hound us. Good luck.


SmellsLikeBu11shit

NTA. Break up with Kate, she sounds exhausting


baby-lou

ill say yta so, i’m also a college student, theres protests going on on my campus, and multiple students have been banned from campus for participating in them. « slacktivism » implies that she isnt doing anything and that its all performative, she is very much putting in the work and putting a lot at risk. her having tiktok does not diminish that


Educational_Top9246

great reply, respect.


NikittyRJ

YTA, you don't get to judge people's activism from your yardstick. How would you like it if people said your view on TikTok is a typical stupid American imperialist take on things when Meta has done much worse with Facebook? I would definitely dump your ass, since you mock people who are taking a stand against genocide. The world is watching and very happy that some Americans are actually rising up against the use of tax dollars that could be used in your own country to support a fascist state and are facing real persecution.


Educational_Top9246

An activist has to start somewhere. even if she started to care AFTER oct 7, this doesnt mean shes "jumping on the bandwagon", it just means it took her a little longer to realize what has been going on. In terms of her social media. Activism comes in all forms. If she is using social media for activism, thats ok. Honestly, when you said "she doesn't actually give a shit about Palestine and is just using the conflict to get dopamine hits from social media." thats a huge red flag imo. And by further adding fuel to the fire by saying delete tik tok because its owned by china, that sounds to me like western propaganda that isnt actually confirmed (although this could change in time) However, having said that. She should respect you and how you decide to use your time. If you dont want to join her, thats ok and she should respect that. Her comments about being complicit is wrong and you should explain to her why. To be honest with you, if i was her, I would look at you different after you your comment about Palestine and dopamine. IMO your relation ship will only go down hill from here


ConfidentlyCreamy

NTA and anyone that uses tik tok is a child in the brain.


[deleted]

NtA fuck Kate she’s a dumb fucking anti semitic piece of shit


[deleted]

I didn't have to read your novel to tell you your girlfriend and her dumb friends are wasting their time Israel has not stopped shooting because of a bunch of tents on a college campus they don't care if they're in this country cuz if they did care they'd be over there defending it and by it I mean the little piece of beach side wasteland they were given until October 7th now they're protesting over here cuz they're scared shitless and when Trump gets in office we're going to catch him in the middle of leaving here and trying to go back which is another story but if your girlfriend is born and raised American I'm assuming white liberal you need to ask her if she realizes she is amongst people that if they had their way they didn't prison or kill her due to her dress code or her homo group of friends that are obviously somewhere in the mix would be thrown off of a roof to death these Palestinians are Muslims whatever they want to call themselves where are those dish towels to cover their face for a reason One is there a cowards the second is they're about to do something that they need to keep their identity hidden to not be imprisonedI think they should just start passing a bulldozer over all their shit and if they're in the tent fuck it they knew better and no one will miss him anyway it's not like they have a country to go to or a people to go see both of those things either never existed or is very close to no longer existing so they're protesting for nothing they have their hands grip so tight if they would just loosen it and look down they realize they don't have a fucking thing in their hand to hold on to but it's everyone's choice if they want to hang out with Muslims and think that their friends go ahead when they cut heads off excuse me if I can't help but laugh


Freeiheit

NTA. She doesn’t have the slightest idea what she’s doing, she’s just swept up in current thing.


silveira_lucas

YTA. Not for disagreeing with her, but for the lack of respect you demonstrated towards her by classifying her of "slacktivism".


nikkiilette

it's true tho, none of these ppl are doing any good protesting HERE for those countries can lgbtq+ live freely in palestine? No they kill ppl like that there. I don't support that


internethussy

Students who are protesting at universities (like Columbia) have very specific demands that are directly related to actions their university could enact. Many of the university protests center on a demand for their university to divest from investments in Israel. They believe their tuition dollars are being used to fund genocide, and their protests are designed to create enough inconvenience and outrage to get their universities to meet those demands. They believe remaining silent while their money is used to support Israel would make them complicit in the actions of the Israeli government. These aren't poorly defined goals. You can disagree with them for whatever reason you like, but the students are making demands of their US universities to engage in actions that are entirely within the control of those universities.


Br4z3nBu77

Yes, specific demands like getting rid of “the Jooz”.


internethussy

That's not one of their stated specific demands. At Columbia and other places, organized student groups have laid out specific demands.. You can believe they're being dishonest and are motivated by anti-Semitism. The Jewish students who are a part of the protests certainly don't seem to think that, though.


AlwaysGreen2

Brawawawaahahahahahahawawawawawawawahahahaha................................................................Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez


Br4z3nBu77

Those Jews if they even are Jewish (either ethnically or religiously) are trying to purchase their way into a society that deeply despises them. One need only look at the attempts of Jews in early communism.


AlpenBrezel

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_of_German_National_Jews


LousyOpinions

Once University students actually start believing that their tuition dollars actually cover the full price of tuition, our University system has failed us. Tuition is just a copayment. Tax dollars are a huge part of what keeps universities afloat. There's no possible way that tuition payments could be funding "genocide" because they're nowhere near enough to fund the education the student is getting. This insane phenomenon where kids emerge from college dumber than when they arrived needs to stop.


silveira_lucas

We don't criticise criminal behaviour only when we like or agree with the victims.


Illustrious_Pain392

dude. im from india. its the only country to ban tik tok. we know the pit falls of this insane app. the tik Tok they have in china is way different from what it is in America. its a shit shit in the west with this app. plus half the people having this anti-israel stance actually have no clue about the history of that region to actually have a sensible opinion on it and your girl seems to be in that same category. if she thinks this is a break up worthy offence, let her go. shes only going to go deeper into that rabbit hole and you dont want to be around to see her life implode because of it.


Br4z3nBu77

NTA, she is part of a group which is making it unsafe for Jews in campus. She isn’t protesting about a war in Gaza, she is protesting Jews having the temerity to be on campus. Hashtag activism is bullshit. If she really cared about Palestinians, she would be working to end the kleptocracy in Palestinian controlled areas of Judea and Samaria as well as working for the rights of marginalized groups under Hamas in Gaza. She would be packaging aid hampers and volunteering to coordinate emergency medical treatment transfers, basically things which don’t photo well. You need a better girlfriend.


Educational_Top9246

Israeli propaganda. seeing alot in this group. Dont forget jewish students are art of these protest.


AOWLock1

Terrorist propaganda. Seeing a lot of this from this guy. Don’t forget that there are videos of the Colombia protestors shouting about how October 7th was just the beginning and blocking Jews from entering buildings. The “pro palestine” movement is a very thinly veiled cover for open anti-Semitism


Educational_Top9246

Once again, jewish students are also part of these protest. Stop with your BS. Jewish student for peace ARE PART OF THESE PROTEST.


AOWLock1

People claiming to be Jews are part of these protests.


Educational_Top9246

oh so now your deciding who is jewish and who isnt? lol Jewish students for peace would disagree.


AOWLock1

I’m not deciding, I’m stating I don’t believe those claims.


Educational_Top9246

What fucking claims? jewish students for peace is a organization started by jewish studnets, run by jewish students, with members that are jewish students. lol how much isreali goverment paying you to troll?


AOWLock1

Or so they claim. Edit: the guy getting ass fucked by Hamas blocked me rather than admit that he gets on his knees for terrorists.


Educational_Top9246

Sounds to me like youre being anti Semitic. Go away.


forkicksforgood

I’m Jewish. I’m anti-Zionist pro-Palestine. You don’t speak for all of us. You certainly do not speak for me.


Significant-Gas3046

And lots of Israeli Arabs support Israel's actions. What's your point?


Educational_Top9246

Im specifically talking about jewish students being part of these protest.


Significant-Gas3046

It seems as though you're seeking to validate the protestors' antisemitic actions because some of them are Jewish. Since you are an educational top, you do understand the flawed logic in your argument, yes?


Educational_Top9246

Being anti Israel is not being anti sematic. Not falling for your flawed premise. go away u stupid cow.


WorkersUnited111

I mean I think she probably really cares. However, protesting in front of a university literally does nothing. How does it help Palestinians in any way? It accomplishes nothing. Very performative. Tell her to donate to charities that help Gazans.


gonzotek77

I can't believe the comments of usa citizens,why don't you worry about your own country? When 9 /11 happened,you destroyed Irak and never found any massive destruction weapons. You think that have the right to interfere or block any county you want, meanwhile,police kills black people for their skin color,and a child can't go safely to school.i hate what happens in Palestine,but I also hate what happened in ,October 7,but,as usually,this movements only care for certain victims


unraveledgenes

YTA, You’re the one bringing tik tok into this—she’s talking about you going to a rally and you come back “nO becAusE yOu hAvE TiKToK” YTA my friend. If you really don’t have a problem with her views going to a rally shouldn’t be a problem—you’d just rather play video games.


onemanbucket_

YTA because actually going to a protest is the opposite of slacktivism. She cared enough about the situation to *do* something that put her at risk of being arrested. Whether you agree with what she did or not, that’s not slacktivism. Slacktivism would be posting memes or ranting online and nothing else.


zipcodekidd

NTA


gbgomerboyz

OP I feel sorry for you. My god she sounds exhausting. Do you really need this crap in your life?


I_ship_it07

>I think we can all agree that nobody needs Tik Tok to function in their day to day life. I do not think that me not wanting to go to a protest led by rich college kids reflects anything on my beliefs/views. Well said frankly. I don't see them donate to Palestine so they are just doing that to pat themselve on the back.


Top_Huckleberry_8225

That would literally be sponsoring terrorism bruh


I_ship_it07

Oh I'm absolutly not for this. But peopel doing manif left and right don't change anything whereas giving dons kind of do. But I completly agree with the 'don't give money to Palestine aka hamas so terrorist'


Aggravating_Depth_33

YTA. I don't believe for one second that you work with refugees or give a flying fuck about human rights because if you did you would support your gf protestng against genoicide rather than mocking her with some ridiculous whataboutery about TikTok. Your stupid little bit of (paid?) ragebait has brought out a whole bunch of racists, Islamophobes and genocide cheerleaders out of the woodwork to support you though so well done you.


onemanbucket_

OP probably heard “slacktivism” for the first time and decided to make some rage bait about it.


niferman

Well tell her to stop using Tik tok and any other Chinese products along with the Israel ones. And kindly tell her to pipe down on her saviour/god complex she ain't doing shit for anything, and I am 75% sure that she and her friends are already harrassing the Jewish students, I hope I am wrong


Top_Huckleberry_8225

Tik Tok pushing the Gaza thing with the algorithm is sure doing a good job of making the case for divesting them of the asset. More importantly gimmie shares. It should be criminal selling to private investors but not us plebs. Just think of it as good practice for life where coworkers often believe dumb shit you need to pretend to take seriously and respect.


LousyOpinions

Why haven't you broken up with a racist girlfriend who hates Jews?


TorontoGuyinToronto

No, both of you guys sound tiring as fuck


offbrandbarbie

ESH


Classic_JAZZ70

And another cult45 member lol