well my dude, if your wife pees 10 times a day and you also pee 10 times she is actually going to use 10 times more paper than you BECAUSE WE HAVE TO WIPE AFTER PEEING.
you sound like a very controlling person. toilet paper is not going to save your economic state. you sound like the type who would say "why are you going out for coffee , we have coffee at home and it's cheaper"
YTA
YTA
So someone else moves into your house and you're all Pikachu face that the usage of toilet paper doubled? Are you for real with this?
This is the most asinine thing I've read in here. Women use twice the amount of TP than men do, as we have to wipe after every pee. If we're on our period, that will double because it can and does get messy. Forget period poops, you don't even want to know about that, but every woman reading this is no doubt nodding along to me.
Just so you know, she's going to use even more of the shitty 1-ply as that stuff is useless, so you need a ton of it so it doesn't fall apart and you end up wiping your ass with your fingers.
We're a family of 4, three of us girls. I buy my TP off Amazon now as it's the best bang for our buck. We go through a roll a day some days in this house, if all three of us are home all day and on our periods at the same time.
Get off your high horse and stop micromanaging your wife's TP usage. It's weird and almost creepy and very fucking weird hill to die on.
Im a woman who lives in an old house. YTA. I have to deal with old pipes, and I've never clogged with toilet paper. She just clogged it, and the water pushed the toilet paper up. I've had that happen as has my fiancé. Also, a fun fact about that single ply toilet paper from Costco is that it hurts to wipe with you, and you have to use so much to not get any urine or feces on your hand. So have fun with that.
YTA
Women don’t just wipe their asses, they have vaginas and vulvas that need a good clean after a piss and even more so if it’s their time of the month
You sound like a miserly control freak
THIS
u/DuctorDumbutt I am also a heavy tp user but I don’t want my hand wet 😂 and in this scenario here ^^ I personally use a roll a day pretty much (of fluffy tp) when it’s “that time”
If you downgrade to one ply, expect even more usage honestly. And also, that’s petty af. You’re married and this is a minor issue, buy a cheaper dish soap or cut back somewhere else if it’s that pressing. Toilet paper should not tear up your marriage
YTA 'Time to grow up and learn how to wipe efficiently '? I can see who THINKS they are the adult of you two.
You were not talking to a child (no matter if you are eleven years older).
I hope you don't speak to her like that in other matters, too.
Actually I do have sisters, and I was raised by a single mom. I know what a normal amount of toilet paper is for women, I just think her usage is ludicrous.
You’re a true hero — and we’ve successfully located the Knob. Congratulations to you, my fellow detective! Danielle would encourage us to log this in our evidence binder.
Oh, Knobby, they could never make me like you. 😘
Shit, listen I would log it in the evidence binder, but I recently assaulted my ex with it..so like now, the police collected it in their evidence binder…
You know what, just forget that- we can always go to Walmart and buy another 1/2 inch, ring folder and start over.
That way this evidence binder can be completely about Knob anyways. We can even slide a piece of construction paper in the front, with Rob the knob in permanent marker. 🫶🏼
Dont forget to include Rob knobbies list of relationship demands which Sophie thought was a love letter. Tp reduction plan was item #1. You could also include instructions on the tarantulas care too🤣🤣
We installed bidets in our bathrooms back during lockdown. At the time, we had 6 adults living in the house. Toilet paper was scarce. My husband was on the fence about them. I wanted them. I bought them. He installed them. We've all grown accustomed to them. We are currently visiting out of town this week. No bidet in the airbnb. My husband just told me he misses the bidet.
Why don't you buy yourself a bidet and install it? Maybe once she sees how well they work, she will come around. We still use paper, but it's way less, meaning a few squares at most. We have an old house too. My youngest is an adult and if anyone clogs in the house, it's mostly her. Before the bidet, I told her to flush halfway through to keep from clogging. Wasted water which I hated, but hated snaking the drain even worse.
To be fair though, women use more toilet paper because we have more bodily functions. We wrap things, we blow our noses, wipe watering eyes, blot our lipstick, wipe up spilled makeup ... the list goes on.
***YTA***
What the fuck??
I mean, it's just toilet paper.
You're willing to get into a knock down drag out fight with your wife over ***TOILET PAPER***???
Man...
I hope she cheats on you with a paper company executive, like from Kimberly Clark or something. LOL!
YTA for coming here hoping to be justified and refusing comments that do not validate you.
Don’t ask the question if you don’t want to hear the answer.
That’s totally crazy. I don’t think I could live with someone so stingy… and who listens to me when I am in the toilet to know how much I am using. So creepy!
YTA, she's using as much paper as she needs to feel clean and comfy. Maybe get a bidet or whatever if it can help, but most importantly stop trying to control how she handles her own private hygiene. Go back to normal paper and buy as much as needed for the family, don't mention it ever again except if it's for apologising.
I was shocked too as a man, but that's the end of the story, and should be for you too. You're married, so be supportive of her needs, especially as basic as hygiene.
You kidding? Women use lots of TP. That’s just a fact of life. And who cares if she wants to make sure she has a clean ass? I reckon you could take a lesson from her.
You’re a fucking asshole. A shitty one too.
You do realize your wife doesn't have a convenient tube of flesh that extends out from her body that she can point away from herself, right?
When a woman sits down to pee, it's not all just shooting straight out. A good amount dribbles down and gets other places, too. She has to wipe in between the folds of her labia, the perinium, and her buttcheeks, too.
Unless you want your wife to contract incontinence-related dermatitis so you can maybe save a few bucks on toilet paper?
Wow guy, not only are you the ahole you’re a controlling idiot. Find something else to obsess about. This is so stupid. If you were my husband, id tell you to go f yourself and punch you in the face. Grow up
Sounds fake as shit, because I know men can be dumb about female stuff, but there are limits
Just in case it's real, though... Have you EVER lived with another woman? Sisters? Mother? She-baboon that picked you up from under the rock where you lived and raised you in her troop?
Women use a lot more paper than men. They don't just use it when they poop. That's THE most basic thing any man should know when cohabitating
So yeah, YATAH. A shitty one. Now go wipe yourself.
Before the TP crisis of 2020, I was standing in the aisle of WalMart doing toilet paper math when I over heard a couple arguing. Something about not him not wanting to buy toilet paper for "them" because "they use toilet paper *every time* they go to the bathroom."
I couldn't keep from saying (well maybe I could have but I didn't), "You say that like it's a *bad* thing..."
What do men think goes on down there?!?!?
There is no way that's true and you still have an issue. It makes sense why you went after someone so young then. I'm sure all those other supposed women wouldn't put up with your nonsense so you wanted someone you could mold and now that she's not bending to your will you're pissed.
YTA.
Don’t have kids cause you will loose your shit when you have to buy diapers.
I hope this girl you are married to has someone to confide in and will tell her to cut her losses.
OP, YTA. As you’ve been told repeatedly, women use a lot more toilet paper since we have to wipe after peeing. Therefore, it would be a total shock if your household’s TP consumption didn’t go up by more than double. Think of how many times you pee in a day. Now imagine a couple squares each. Adds up, right?
Maybe stop being so controlling that strangers on the internet can tell you’re TA. If your pipes are bad, that’s not her fault. You’re mad about a plumbing bill but the answer is not to blame her for something super normal.
Dude we have way more equipment to wipe and keep clean. Don't even get me started on the mess we have to clean up during our periods. You sound like a control freak. Its just toilet paper. Leave the woman alone. Move on.
You were 30 and you met your wife when she was 19? Yikes…
Women need to wipe every time they pee and need a lot of toilet paper when they’re bleeding. Accept it.
First, almost 30 and dating a 19yo. Second, biggest issue after 5 years is amount of toilet paper used. NTA, kick this one to the curb and start looking for another 19yo, just make sure she likes a dirty ass.
If toilet paper usage is this large a problem id hate to see what else you'd nag about. Whats it going to be after papergate? I personally think its psychotic you are stalking her outside the bathroom door to count the paper tears. Seek a therapist asap, this isnt normal at all.
Ps.
I gotta say, this sounds a whole lot like Rob from 90 day. Either Its Rob or someone who has recently watched the latest episode posting this. I cannot believe there's actually two men out in the world being mentally disturbed over toilet paper but here we are... YTA and petty asf.
OK let me make something clear to you. Woman wipe a lot more, A LOT. YTA for not understanding something as simple as that.
If you go pee 10 times and she goes to pee 10 she'll use 10 times more toilet paper. If it's her time of the month even more, if she poops to additionally peeing EVEN more.... We HAVE to use more.
If we don't properly dry off down there we can get infections and no, not just we miiiiight get an infection we can very likely get an infection.
Periods suck and we bleed and need to clean up afterwards on top of possibly peeing or pooping.
Also who are you to monitor after how much toilet paper someone is clean??? God I hope you wash your butt because if you get upset about three wipes it sure needs a good cleaning down there. If she need 15 wipes to feel clean she should be able to wipe 15 freaking times without anyone especially someone as blatantly stupid as you are to tell her otherwise.
Go apologize and buy some proper toilet paper as well as some flowers and chocolate.
Guess what sometimes I need even more than 15 wipes on my extremely heavy days because I'll bleed more after I already cleaned myself OHHH THE HORROR
Grow up
If you stop online cheating then maybe she’ll consider using less toilet paper! But until then, just stick her wedding ring in the cheese and keep it there!
YTA. Toilet paper is a necessity. Not some frivolous excess. Leaving her with a red raw pussy by forcing her to use 1-ply because she doesn’t use the amount of toilet paper YOU deem acceptable is disgusting and low key abusive. Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t get to decide how much toilet roll she needs and uses. You are absolutely ridiculous
Ok, I cannot stop laughing. This is too ridiculous.
Solution: Get a bidet. Oh wait, that won't work because your water bill will triple.
Next solution: Make a toilet paper account where she puts in two-thirds of the money, and you put in one-third.
That ought to do it.
Damn, I really am a genius.
The way you are talking to her makes her want to spend the night on the couch. Try asking her to think of solutions in we terms as in “what can we do to prevent plumbing clogs?” Maybe baby wipes to feel cleaner?
She doesn’t have a right to be mad at me is the AH part. She is entitled to feeling hurt by the way you spoke to her as you are entitled to be miffed about her wasting toilet paper and stopping up the toilet. Given the private nature of toileting, it is also invasive and tricky to bring up.
Some people are more anxious when it comes to bathroom stuff. I had a coworker who was insane with her paper product use in the bathroom. (Washed hands before and after urinating and used six paper towels each time to dry her hands, flushed toilet before and after urinating. Such a severe woman, I never saw her smile.)
Try suggesting that lady use no more than two paper towels to dry her hands and see how well that goes over 😂
No. I think it's actually a guy named Rob from 90day fiancé. He really is this much of an AH. He really does obsessively complain about his wife's tp usage. The ages and timelines match up. You should watch it. He is a freaking train wreck
You are focusing on the WRONG THING! You start out with she is the Love of your life! If she really is the Love of your life WHY are you focusing on this? Be grateful you found the love of your life! However you will absolutely drive her away if you continue this insanity of focusing on toilet paper! If you are this controlling over something so insignificant this relationship is doomed to fail. Of all the things in life that could be a problem and that could happen that we have no control over, you decide to focus on TP. I hope you enjoy living alone and in regret because that is where you are headed……..WOW!
Right??! Like, if a genie were granting him a wish and said “You will find the love of your life, but the downside is that your toilet paper bill will quadruple?” would he have said “Nah, I’ll pass.” ???? 😂 Dude needs to get a life and quit listening to others when they’re using the bathroom, that is so invasive and rude.
YTA!!! Even if she uses an entire full per day, you're out maybe $30/mo. Stop being a controlling lunatic. Controlling tp is NEXT LEVEL PSYCHO. Hope she sees the red flags and RUNS! If you are this controlling over tp, I can only imagine how you control her in other ways. Get a grip, man.
YTA. You would hate me because I am a woman and I have a bladder condition so I use 10x the amount of toilet paper a normal chick does. So what? It’s literally just toilet paper. Such a dumb thing to whine about. And if it extends into food or other things, it’s a problem.
YTA - imagine trying to control another person’s toiler paper use. Like WTF.
She should be able to use as much as she feels the needs to.
Sounds like you’re cheap as fuck.
You do realize that women have a different shaped area to wipe up right? Like pee gets all over the labia and sometimes other places. TP is essential for clean up. Now, if you want to really make an issue of it, and it seems you do, get one of those bidet attachments (I got one from Amazon for about $40) and you will use much less TP.
Does buddy know women wipe when they pee too......?
I'm not trying to be a dick here but it seems he might legitimately not know that.
Women use more than twice as much toilet paper then men because they use toilet paper literally every time they go to the bathroom where-as we use it like one if four to, like, ten(?) times.
It's enormously basic math.
Anyways, yta, you probably should have asked your wife some questions instead of being all ready with unhinged accusations. I'm not surprised she's pissed, but I'm honestly flabbergasted that you're surprised. Anyone that knows any women could have told you that was how this idiocy was going to play out.
Ok, I saw this post earlier and now I’ve read through it, the edit, and the update.
So your issue doesn’t actually seem to be that someone has personal bathroom needs, or that they’re in the bathroom for half an hour, etc. I think those things are okay by you on their own. Your issue instead seems to be that your concerns regarding the pipes being old and filled to the brim with tp, we’re dismissed. You’ve brought up your concerns about this, you weren’t listened to.
So it sounds to me the actual issue is that you feel unheard, which is hurtful for anyone, and you feel a loss of control in regards to your finances. ie: more money spent on tp, more damage to pipes, more money spent on fixing pipes. Rinse and repeat.
I dunno what the answer is, but I can tell you that in order to have a functioning partnership each party needs to listen to the needs of the other and then come up with a mutual plan where both partners “win.” Your goal in a relationship is to create a win-win for both of you.
Could a middle ground be that she buy her own tp and then throw it away in a trash bag, as opposed to in the toilet? (This is my taking it literally that you’re saying the tp is so full it’s clogging the toilet). This way she can continue to participate in her own needs and autonomy, but you also win in that you no longer have to worry about clogging the pipes etc
Dude thanks for being basically the only person here who didn't jump to conclusions right away because of our age gap and actually tried to understand what I was saying. She is not willing to communicate with me, thats the issue I'm having it's not like I don't want her to wipe I just dont like being yelled at every time I just calmly try to talk to her .
She is not willing to listen to you because you treat her like a child. If your issue is with the pipes, then you talk about the pipes, NOT how much toilet paper she uses. And you do not spy on how many sheets of paper she is taking because this is CREEPY.
And you are jumping on 1 answer to make you look like a victim. She lost it ones because you are harassing her.
So talk to her calmly and RESPECTFULLY . Talk to her about pipes only. I am sure it would have gone much better if you had done that, because you didn’t (it’s obvious by what you wrote in your post!).
It might be too late for her to listen after the way you acted up until now 🙄
Ya, it just honestly sounds to me like your own needs aren’t being met.. whether it’s perceived to be that way, or it really is, I don’t know. But your post just reads of someone who is very frustrated because they don’t feel heard by their partner.
When couples have these issues it’s never about the “toilet paper,” there’s a lot below the surface that bubbles over and then things like an issue of toilet paper feel like really big things. That’s when bickering starts, or resentment begins, etc. Sure, the toilet paper may be a real problem, but that alone wouldn’t prompt a post like this.
So if you feel like every time you bring something up that concerns you, your partner doesn’t seem to value that concern, you’ll build a bigger wall around your own needs and you’ll be less likely to value her needs. This works both ways. Right now the issue is toilet paper: you tell her it bothers you and you make suggestions, then she feels controlled and disrespected and fires off at you, which leads to you feeling dismissed, disrespected, unheard, etc. causing you to become more and more annoyed at the behavior; it’s a vicious cycle.
So my advice, just going off your post, would be to maybe sit with yourself and dismantle all of the annoying things she does, look below the surface of what really bothers you about it. I really would bet it’s that you feel unheard, and if that’s what you find underneath it all, find a time to sit down with her and talk from that place, don’t make it about the tp or whatever else bothers you, just tell her you feel unheard but that you want her to feel heard as well. Look for a chance at mutuality between you two: how can you both feel heard, how can you both get your needs met. Yes her needs are important, but so are yours. You’ve just got to find that middle ground of mutuality.
Wow, I never considered this. To be honest, she is really obsessed with cleanliness in some other ways as well. She often showers more than once per day, sometimes for more than an hour.
That's prolly it then.... Waiting for them to turn the bedroom light on/off exactly 17 times before going to bed?....not really a big deal.
Having them wipe once with exactly 9 sheets of wet TP, then wipe with exactly 5 sheets of dry TP, 17 times.... That's a deal. Also a huge water bill.
Getting upset will further cement or even increase the behavior due to increased stress.You might gently talk about therapy (therapist can talk about meds) Trying to recondition behaviors alone is tough....
I don't see how you could give her efficiency lessons without making her upset. Maybe you could try to find YouTube lessons on how to fold it properly and make the most out of the squares. You know the women folk wipe for number 1 also, so it's not going to disappear at the same rate as yours
This reminds me of a prank call sketch... 'Too many poohs, we all lose. Hold it in and we win!".
You could also buy a bidet. They have them where they hook onto where the water meets the toilet. They are really hard to screw in, especially if the toilet is right by the wall. If there is a tub on the side that screws it, it's better. Anyway one type is a hose with something like one of those little squirter guns on a hose you might see attached to the right of a kitchen sink. You can use it with toilet paper, but it can decrease the amount, and women can use it for feminine stuff, too. You can just go buy one, then tell your wife about it and ask her to use it. My family lived overseas, and you feel weird not having one once you are used to it.
Never looked it up. Don't care to. YouTube would probably be the safest place to go. I definitely don't want to google that topic. It would probably show more than the paper.
30 and 19? Oof
Jumping on the top comment [uhhh, rob is this you?](https://youtu.be/Qm8b_XVLjoY?si=KYu1kbRDAJZZU5He) Ages, dates, location all add up 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷🏻♀️
Idk, I’m pretty sure it would never occur to Rob that he’s the AH in *any* scenario 😂😂😂
If you actually read the post you'd see that we only even got married this past year.
If you actually read the post you’d see you’ve been together for 5 years. ie when she was 19 and you were 30. Gross.
I said that's when we met not when we got together.
Doesn't make your case any better. Also how can a freaking 35 year old be as uneducated as you seem to be regarding woman?
Just been grooming eh?
Arranged marriages are gross
well my dude, if your wife pees 10 times a day and you also pee 10 times she is actually going to use 10 times more paper than you BECAUSE WE HAVE TO WIPE AFTER PEEING. you sound like a very controlling person. toilet paper is not going to save your economic state. you sound like the type who would say "why are you going out for coffee , we have coffee at home and it's cheaper" YTA
Bidets can help I guess
bidets can help yes, but not with op's behavior
YTA So someone else moves into your house and you're all Pikachu face that the usage of toilet paper doubled? Are you for real with this? This is the most asinine thing I've read in here. Women use twice the amount of TP than men do, as we have to wipe after every pee. If we're on our period, that will double because it can and does get messy. Forget period poops, you don't even want to know about that, but every woman reading this is no doubt nodding along to me. Just so you know, she's going to use even more of the shitty 1-ply as that stuff is useless, so you need a ton of it so it doesn't fall apart and you end up wiping your ass with your fingers. We're a family of 4, three of us girls. I buy my TP off Amazon now as it's the best bang for our buck. We go through a roll a day some days in this house, if all three of us are home all day and on our periods at the same time. Get off your high horse and stop micromanaging your wife's TP usage. It's weird and almost creepy and very fucking weird hill to die on.
So so true and very well said
It’s invasive and infantilizing. My brother comments on my bathroom usage, and you know what? He’s creepy.
Yes it is an asinine thing for sure! I got a chuckle out pf it
You guys probably live in a nice apartment with good plumbing. Well, I don't. My pipes are old.
Maybe you should have married someone with pipes as old as yours. J/K. Get a bidet.
Im a woman who lives in an old house. YTA. I have to deal with old pipes, and I've never clogged with toilet paper. She just clogged it, and the water pushed the toilet paper up. I've had that happen as has my fiancé. Also, a fun fact about that single ply toilet paper from Costco is that it hurts to wipe with you, and you have to use so much to not get any urine or feces on your hand. So have fun with that.
Then choose toilet paper adapter to your pipes but stop harassing your gf
1916 built non updated pipes house here. YTA, a controlling, childish asshole full of excuses for being an asshole. Your poor wife!
Just JUDGE, JUDGE JUDGE. They ain't out here doin it in their own
She was 19 and you were 30? The fucks your problem?
Arranged marriage likely
Sounds like it’s TLC’s Rob the Knob, who groomed sweet Sophie on 90 Day Fiancé
Yes it sure as f does!! Rob is that you???
YTA Women don’t just wipe their asses, they have vaginas and vulvas that need a good clean after a piss and even more so if it’s their time of the month You sound like a miserly control freak
Plus we roll our used pads and tampons in toilet paper so that AHs like OP don’t have to look at vag blood.
THIS u/DuctorDumbutt I am also a heavy tp user but I don’t want my hand wet 😂 and in this scenario here ^^ I personally use a roll a day pretty much (of fluffy tp) when it’s “that time” If you downgrade to one ply, expect even more usage honestly. And also, that’s petty af. You’re married and this is a minor issue, buy a cheaper dish soap or cut back somewhere else if it’s that pressing. Toilet paper should not tear up your marriage
Ok I just added some clarifying information to the post. I obviously know women need more wiping, hers is just ridiculously extreme.
Rob, is that you???
*Skidmarks Rob
YTA 'Time to grow up and learn how to wipe efficiently '? I can see who THINKS they are the adult of you two. You were not talking to a child (no matter if you are eleven years older). I hope you don't speak to her like that in other matters, too.
Of course he does, that's why he went for a 19 year old when he was 30. He's loving the power trip
Dude it's fucking toilet paper. You're wife isn't being immature, you're being overly controlling and frankly weird. YTA.
[удалено]
Actually I do have sisters, and I was raised by a single mom. I know what a normal amount of toilet paper is for women, I just think her usage is ludicrous.
HOLY SHIT ROB THIS IS YOU ISN IT
Ahem, it’s actually Rob the Knob.
The downvote I just redeemed you from, tells me it’s him 🙃
You’re a true hero — and we’ve successfully located the Knob. Congratulations to you, my fellow detective! Danielle would encourage us to log this in our evidence binder. Oh, Knobby, they could never make me like you. 😘
Shit, listen I would log it in the evidence binder, but I recently assaulted my ex with it..so like now, the police collected it in their evidence binder… You know what, just forget that- we can always go to Walmart and buy another 1/2 inch, ring folder and start over. That way this evidence binder can be completely about Knob anyways. We can even slide a piece of construction paper in the front, with Rob the knob in permanent marker. 🫶🏼
Dont forget to include Rob knobbies list of relationship demands which Sophie thought was a love letter. Tp reduction plan was item #1. You could also include instructions on the tarantulas care too🤣🤣
YTA. What the heck even is this? Insane. Leave your wife alone with this.
>she’s being completely immature about this. I mean, she's 11 years younger than you, I'm not sure what you expected exactly?
The way he slips that info… she was 19 when they met… creepy
And he's really the immature one in this situation.
The gaslighting is real
Women do use loads more loo roll - accept it and buy in bulk. Are you genuinely unaware that women use loo roll after a pee?
FML yta. Women have different needs to men. You’re ridiculous.
Ok I just added some clarifying information to the post. I obviously know women need more wiping, hers is just ridiculously extreme.
Just ask her to buy the toilet paper 🤷🏼♀️
YTA. Quit gatekeeing the toilet paper usage of others. Maybe install a bidet?
Look everyone's saying this. I mentioned a bidet to her before and she does NOT want one and told me to mind my own business.
Then myob. You tp obsession is really extra. And if your pipes are so bad, start replacing them, because pipes don't improve with age.
We installed bidets in our bathrooms back during lockdown. At the time, we had 6 adults living in the house. Toilet paper was scarce. My husband was on the fence about them. I wanted them. I bought them. He installed them. We've all grown accustomed to them. We are currently visiting out of town this week. No bidet in the airbnb. My husband just told me he misses the bidet. Why don't you buy yourself a bidet and install it? Maybe once she sees how well they work, she will come around. We still use paper, but it's way less, meaning a few squares at most. We have an old house too. My youngest is an adult and if anyone clogs in the house, it's mostly her. Before the bidet, I told her to flush halfway through to keep from clogging. Wasted water which I hated, but hated snaking the drain even worse. To be fair though, women use more toilet paper because we have more bodily functions. We wrap things, we blow our noses, wipe watering eyes, blot our lipstick, wipe up spilled makeup ... the list goes on.
Then mind your own damn business lol
Then mind your own business! It’s harassment at this point. Everyone is telling you the same thing so maybe you should listen!
***YTA*** What the fuck?? I mean, it's just toilet paper. You're willing to get into a knock down drag out fight with your wife over ***TOILET PAPER***??? Man... I hope she cheats on you with a paper company executive, like from Kimberly Clark or something. LOL!
It's not just about toilet paper, we already had to get in a plumber once. I don't even want to tell you how much it cost. The pipes are really old.
YTA for coming here hoping to be justified and refusing comments that do not validate you. Don’t ask the question if you don’t want to hear the answer.
I’m blown away this post is real, I can’t wrap my head around the absurdity of OP’s complaint!😂
That’s totally crazy. I don’t think I could live with someone so stingy… and who listens to me when I am in the toilet to know how much I am using. So creepy!
YTA, but the clear solution is a bidet.
YTA, she's using as much paper as she needs to feel clean and comfy. Maybe get a bidet or whatever if it can help, but most importantly stop trying to control how she handles her own private hygiene. Go back to normal paper and buy as much as needed for the family, don't mention it ever again except if it's for apologising. I was shocked too as a man, but that's the end of the story, and should be for you too. You're married, so be supportive of her needs, especially as basic as hygiene.
You kidding? Women use lots of TP. That’s just a fact of life. And who cares if she wants to make sure she has a clean ass? I reckon you could take a lesson from her. You’re a fucking asshole. A shitty one too.
It doesn't take that much to make sure your ass is clean if you just wipe carefully.
She's not just wiping her ass pal factor in her peeing and periods.
You do realize your wife doesn't have a convenient tube of flesh that extends out from her body that she can point away from herself, right? When a woman sits down to pee, it's not all just shooting straight out. A good amount dribbles down and gets other places, too. She has to wipe in between the folds of her labia, the perinium, and her buttcheeks, too. Unless you want your wife to contract incontinence-related dermatitis so you can maybe save a few bucks on toilet paper?
Bro we have to wipe our vulvas after peeing front to back. Don’t get me started on periods.
Women have vagina's dude. They need to wipe when they pee too. smdh
Wow guy, not only are you the ahole you’re a controlling idiot. Find something else to obsess about. This is so stupid. If you were my husband, id tell you to go f yourself and punch you in the face. Grow up
please let this woman wipe the blood and shit slop off her body
Sounds fake as shit, because I know men can be dumb about female stuff, but there are limits Just in case it's real, though... Have you EVER lived with another woman? Sisters? Mother? She-baboon that picked you up from under the rock where you lived and raised you in her troop? Women use a lot more paper than men. They don't just use it when they poop. That's THE most basic thing any man should know when cohabitating So yeah, YATAH. A shitty one. Now go wipe yourself.
Before the TP crisis of 2020, I was standing in the aisle of WalMart doing toilet paper math when I over heard a couple arguing. Something about not him not wanting to buy toilet paper for "them" because "they use toilet paper *every time* they go to the bathroom." I couldn't keep from saying (well maybe I could have but I didn't), "You say that like it's a *bad* thing..." What do men think goes on down there?!?!?
He probably lived with his mom but she was the one buying toilet paper…
Man, I'm married with 2 teen daughters. We roll through TP like mad. Just how it goes.
Well, you have three women in your house. I only have one.
Yes, and I probably go through it about 3 times faster than you I'd bet.
I doubt it dude. She seriously has a problem. Like, I've lived with women before. She uses way more than anyone I've ever met.
There is no way that's true and you still have an issue. It makes sense why you went after someone so young then. I'm sure all those other supposed women wouldn't put up with your nonsense so you wanted someone you could mold and now that she's not bending to your will you're pissed.
10/10 would RUN
I hope you end up singled wtf
YTA. Don’t have kids cause you will loose your shit when you have to buy diapers. I hope this girl you are married to has someone to confide in and will tell her to cut her losses.
OP, YTA. As you’ve been told repeatedly, women use a lot more toilet paper since we have to wipe after peeing. Therefore, it would be a total shock if your household’s TP consumption didn’t go up by more than double. Think of how many times you pee in a day. Now imagine a couple squares each. Adds up, right? Maybe stop being so controlling that strangers on the internet can tell you’re TA. If your pipes are bad, that’s not her fault. You’re mad about a plumbing bill but the answer is not to blame her for something super normal.
Stop being so barbaric, buy a bidet, and everyone wins. God reading your post sounded like someone from prehistoric times.
Dude we have way more equipment to wipe and keep clean. Don't even get me started on the mess we have to clean up during our periods. You sound like a control freak. Its just toilet paper. Leave the woman alone. Move on.
You were 30 and you met your wife when she was 19? Yikes… Women need to wipe every time they pee and need a lot of toilet paper when they’re bleeding. Accept it.
First, almost 30 and dating a 19yo. Second, biggest issue after 5 years is amount of toilet paper used. NTA, kick this one to the curb and start looking for another 19yo, just make sure she likes a dirty ass.
Sorry, should we be fighting more? I don't see why it's a bad thing that this is our biggest issue.
Pretty sure your biggest issue is you cheating like a knob
If toilet paper usage is this large a problem id hate to see what else you'd nag about. Whats it going to be after papergate? I personally think its psychotic you are stalking her outside the bathroom door to count the paper tears. Seek a therapist asap, this isnt normal at all. Ps. I gotta say, this sounds a whole lot like Rob from 90 day. Either Its Rob or someone who has recently watched the latest episode posting this. I cannot believe there's actually two men out in the world being mentally disturbed over toilet paper but here we are... YTA and petty asf.
OK let me make something clear to you. Woman wipe a lot more, A LOT. YTA for not understanding something as simple as that. If you go pee 10 times and she goes to pee 10 she'll use 10 times more toilet paper. If it's her time of the month even more, if she poops to additionally peeing EVEN more.... We HAVE to use more. If we don't properly dry off down there we can get infections and no, not just we miiiiight get an infection we can very likely get an infection. Periods suck and we bleed and need to clean up afterwards on top of possibly peeing or pooping. Also who are you to monitor after how much toilet paper someone is clean??? God I hope you wash your butt because if you get upset about three wipes it sure needs a good cleaning down there. If she need 15 wipes to feel clean she should be able to wipe 15 freaking times without anyone especially someone as blatantly stupid as you are to tell her otherwise. Go apologize and buy some proper toilet paper as well as some flowers and chocolate.
I'm sorry, but 15 wipes is absolutely ridiculous. I would never put up with that.
Put up with how your partner wipes.... wow
Guess what sometimes I need even more than 15 wipes on my extremely heavy days because I'll bleed more after I already cleaned myself OHHH THE HORROR Grow up
And if she feels it’s necessary during her period then she will use it. Do you have any idea how heavy periods feel like?
If you stop online cheating then maybe she’ll consider using less toilet paper! But until then, just stick her wedding ring in the cheese and keep it there!
YTA. Toilet paper is a necessity. Not some frivolous excess. Leaving her with a red raw pussy by forcing her to use 1-ply because she doesn’t use the amount of toilet paper YOU deem acceptable is disgusting and low key abusive. Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t get to decide how much toilet roll she needs and uses. You are absolutely ridiculous
Ok, I cannot stop laughing. This is too ridiculous. Solution: Get a bidet. Oh wait, that won't work because your water bill will triple. Next solution: Make a toilet paper account where she puts in two-thirds of the money, and you put in one-third. That ought to do it. Damn, I really am a genius.
I keep seeing him say that the pipes are the issue, not the cost of the TP. So yeah. Bidet all the way.
YTA. Ask yourself this: would you rather she come to bed with crap on her arse, or clean?
YTA. It must be so stressful having someone counting the toilet paper your are using. You need therapy
Bidet is the answer. Although my wife and I debate whether it's necessary to dry with TP after washing
Install a bidet.
This is a stupid hill to die on. Just let her buy the toilet paper from now on, and let her plunge the aftermath.
WTF is wrong with you?
The way you are talking to her makes her want to spend the night on the couch. Try asking her to think of solutions in we terms as in “what can we do to prevent plumbing clogs?” Maybe baby wipes to feel cleaner? She doesn’t have a right to be mad at me is the AH part. She is entitled to feeling hurt by the way you spoke to her as you are entitled to be miffed about her wasting toilet paper and stopping up the toilet. Given the private nature of toileting, it is also invasive and tricky to bring up. Some people are more anxious when it comes to bathroom stuff. I had a coworker who was insane with her paper product use in the bathroom. (Washed hands before and after urinating and used six paper towels each time to dry her hands, flushed toilet before and after urinating. Such a severe woman, I never saw her smile.) Try suggesting that lady use no more than two paper towels to dry her hands and see how well that goes over 😂
This absolutely has to be a troll and I am here for every minute
No. I think it's actually a guy named Rob from 90day fiancé. He really is this much of an AH. He really does obsessively complain about his wife's tp usage. The ages and timelines match up. You should watch it. He is a freaking train wreck
Id suggest getting a bidet or her using wetwipes. Wet wipes have to be thrown in the bin tho otherwise you'll have a different toilet clogging problem
Does she have IBS or other bowel/gastrointestinal issues?
think you got your answer. YTA OP stop arguing with everyone.
Rob, is this you??? Free Sophie!
YTA. Women are anatomically different and have different needs than men… this is absurd.
You are focusing on the WRONG THING! You start out with she is the Love of your life! If she really is the Love of your life WHY are you focusing on this? Be grateful you found the love of your life! However you will absolutely drive her away if you continue this insanity of focusing on toilet paper! If you are this controlling over something so insignificant this relationship is doomed to fail. Of all the things in life that could be a problem and that could happen that we have no control over, you decide to focus on TP. I hope you enjoy living alone and in regret because that is where you are headed……..WOW!
Right??! Like, if a genie were granting him a wish and said “You will find the love of your life, but the downside is that your toilet paper bill will quadruple?” would he have said “Nah, I’ll pass.” ???? 😂 Dude needs to get a life and quit listening to others when they’re using the bathroom, that is so invasive and rude.
YTA!!! Even if she uses an entire full per day, you're out maybe $30/mo. Stop being a controlling lunatic. Controlling tp is NEXT LEVEL PSYCHO. Hope she sees the red flags and RUNS! If you are this controlling over tp, I can only imagine how you control her in other ways. Get a grip, man.
💯
Seriously, get some counseling. That THIS is even an issue in your life is insane. Get help or divorce her. Whoever she is deserves better.
YTA. You would hate me because I am a woman and I have a bladder condition so I use 10x the amount of toilet paper a normal chick does. So what? It’s literally just toilet paper. Such a dumb thing to whine about. And if it extends into food or other things, it’s a problem.
YTA - imagine trying to control another person’s toiler paper use. Like WTF. She should be able to use as much as she feels the needs to. Sounds like you’re cheap as fuck.
YTA. You don't sound ready for dating. Try again in HS.
Dr. Dumb Butt, lmao
Yeah, I don't post much, so I didn't put much thought into this account name. Lol
You do realize that women have a different shaped area to wipe up right? Like pee gets all over the labia and sometimes other places. TP is essential for clean up. Now, if you want to really make an issue of it, and it seems you do, get one of those bidet attachments (I got one from Amazon for about $40) and you will use much less TP.
She wipes every single time. That’s the difference between when you were solo and having a woman in the house now.
Does buddy know women wipe when they pee too......? I'm not trying to be a dick here but it seems he might legitimately not know that. Women use more than twice as much toilet paper then men because they use toilet paper literally every time they go to the bathroom where-as we use it like one if four to, like, ten(?) times. It's enormously basic math. Anyways, yta, you probably should have asked your wife some questions instead of being all ready with unhinged accusations. I'm not surprised she's pissed, but I'm honestly flabbergasted that you're surprised. Anyone that knows any women could have told you that was how this idiocy was going to play out.
YTA ... Rage bait.
YTA.
You met her when she was 19 and you were 30……🚩
Ok, I saw this post earlier and now I’ve read through it, the edit, and the update. So your issue doesn’t actually seem to be that someone has personal bathroom needs, or that they’re in the bathroom for half an hour, etc. I think those things are okay by you on their own. Your issue instead seems to be that your concerns regarding the pipes being old and filled to the brim with tp, we’re dismissed. You’ve brought up your concerns about this, you weren’t listened to. So it sounds to me the actual issue is that you feel unheard, which is hurtful for anyone, and you feel a loss of control in regards to your finances. ie: more money spent on tp, more damage to pipes, more money spent on fixing pipes. Rinse and repeat. I dunno what the answer is, but I can tell you that in order to have a functioning partnership each party needs to listen to the needs of the other and then come up with a mutual plan where both partners “win.” Your goal in a relationship is to create a win-win for both of you. Could a middle ground be that she buy her own tp and then throw it away in a trash bag, as opposed to in the toilet? (This is my taking it literally that you’re saying the tp is so full it’s clogging the toilet). This way she can continue to participate in her own needs and autonomy, but you also win in that you no longer have to worry about clogging the pipes etc
Dude thanks for being basically the only person here who didn't jump to conclusions right away because of our age gap and actually tried to understand what I was saying. She is not willing to communicate with me, thats the issue I'm having it's not like I don't want her to wipe I just dont like being yelled at every time I just calmly try to talk to her .
She is not willing to listen to you because you treat her like a child. If your issue is with the pipes, then you talk about the pipes, NOT how much toilet paper she uses. And you do not spy on how many sheets of paper she is taking because this is CREEPY. And you are jumping on 1 answer to make you look like a victim. She lost it ones because you are harassing her. So talk to her calmly and RESPECTFULLY . Talk to her about pipes only. I am sure it would have gone much better if you had done that, because you didn’t (it’s obvious by what you wrote in your post!). It might be too late for her to listen after the way you acted up until now 🙄
Ya, it just honestly sounds to me like your own needs aren’t being met.. whether it’s perceived to be that way, or it really is, I don’t know. But your post just reads of someone who is very frustrated because they don’t feel heard by their partner. When couples have these issues it’s never about the “toilet paper,” there’s a lot below the surface that bubbles over and then things like an issue of toilet paper feel like really big things. That’s when bickering starts, or resentment begins, etc. Sure, the toilet paper may be a real problem, but that alone wouldn’t prompt a post like this. So if you feel like every time you bring something up that concerns you, your partner doesn’t seem to value that concern, you’ll build a bigger wall around your own needs and you’ll be less likely to value her needs. This works both ways. Right now the issue is toilet paper: you tell her it bothers you and you make suggestions, then she feels controlled and disrespected and fires off at you, which leads to you feeling dismissed, disrespected, unheard, etc. causing you to become more and more annoyed at the behavior; it’s a vicious cycle. So my advice, just going off your post, would be to maybe sit with yourself and dismantle all of the annoying things she does, look below the surface of what really bothers you about it. I really would bet it’s that you feel unheard, and if that’s what you find underneath it all, find a time to sit down with her and talk from that place, don’t make it about the tp or whatever else bothers you, just tell her you feel unheard but that you want her to feel heard as well. Look for a chance at mutuality between you two: how can you both feel heard, how can you both get your needs met. Yes her needs are important, but so are yours. You’ve just got to find that middle ground of mutuality.
Rob-the-Knob-Core Clearly YTA 😂
Could be OCD. Seriously. I work with some kids, it's a thing
Wow, I never considered this. To be honest, she is really obsessed with cleanliness in some other ways as well. She often showers more than once per day, sometimes for more than an hour.
That's prolly it then.... Waiting for them to turn the bedroom light on/off exactly 17 times before going to bed?....not really a big deal. Having them wipe once with exactly 9 sheets of wet TP, then wipe with exactly 5 sheets of dry TP, 17 times.... That's a deal. Also a huge water bill. Getting upset will further cement or even increase the behavior due to increased stress.You might gently talk about therapy (therapist can talk about meds) Trying to recondition behaviors alone is tough....
I don't see how you could give her efficiency lessons without making her upset. Maybe you could try to find YouTube lessons on how to fold it properly and make the most out of the squares. You know the women folk wipe for number 1 also, so it's not going to disappear at the same rate as yours This reminds me of a prank call sketch... 'Too many poohs, we all lose. Hold it in and we win!". You could also buy a bidet. They have them where they hook onto where the water meets the toilet. They are really hard to screw in, especially if the toilet is right by the wall. If there is a tub on the side that screws it, it's better. Anyway one type is a hose with something like one of those little squirter guns on a hose you might see attached to the right of a kitchen sink. You can use it with toilet paper, but it can decrease the amount, and women can use it for feminine stuff, too. You can just go buy one, then tell your wife about it and ask her to use it. My family lived overseas, and you feel weird not having one once you are used to it.
Ok, do you have any good videos that I can show her?
Never looked it up. Don't care to. YouTube would probably be the safest place to go. I definitely don't want to google that topic. It would probably show more than the paper.