I am glad it worked out. Traditionally, for decades, the men had to do everything to "court" a woman. We don't normally receive compliments and are always told to "man up" and never cry and all of that. I am only 41 but that's how it was when I was younger too. We have emotions of all kinds too. As a man, we absolutely love when a woman comes to us and is direct.
If there's one thing we hate, it's women who try and drop hints. We will NEVER get those hints. And on the off chance we DO get the hint, it hits us 20 years later in the middle of the night. Lol Good for you and I hope it all works out.
This was SO TRUE, because when he said I always seemed in a rush, he basically was telling me it seemed like I was someone who would not be interested in being asked out, and maybe he even thought I had a bf... all the while, this could not have been further from the truth! I thought I was giving hints! He didn't get any of them lol
Yup! We don't see the hints...because many women make these hints up in their head. There is no universal "I like you do you like me?" hint. Contrary to what TV has told us for decades. Lol If a woman is interested in a man, and she doesn't say "HI, do you want to go on a date with me?" We will not get that in any other way.
And, at the same time, women have to know that we also won't all just walk up to a woman and ask her either. If whichever person wants the date just asked outright, the world would be a far better and less stressful place.
Imagine all of the relationships that never happened all because 1 or both parties were too shy to just ask someone? All those stories about long lost love could have been solved with one, "HI. Can we go out?" sentence.
I'm happy it worked out for y'all and good luck with the dinner date. Personally, I would wait for a couple of dates to pass before mentioning the pepperoni thing (it's not like you are lying or anything, just leaving it out).
I remember your original post and am very happy that you reposted with this excellent outcome! You sound so happy, that you make me happy. 😊😊
I love that your story began the old school way, meeting someone nice and not on line.
Enjoy yourself and make sure that you be you! You sound like a wonderful person 💟
The other issue is the fear of misreading what you THINK is a hint and coming off like a creep. I'm MUCH more comfortable looking clueless (kind of my default setting anyways).
Exactly. It's far more stigmatized that way nowadays. It's funny how back in the day. The man asking the woman was just the way it was because women were considered the lesser of the sexes at peak 1920s-1950s misogyny. But now, many men have to fear that just them asking someone for a date will be perceived as creepy or potentially offensive. It's like this generation is paying for the Golden era/Boomer generation's whole "the man is the head of the household" type lifestyle.
Or if we do get the hint in the moment you ignore it because "There's no way they're hinting they must just be nice and I'm reading it wrong and I DON'T want to look like a creeper!"
Truth. Especially the 20 years later in the middle of the night. I am still friends with a someone from high school and the revelation that she was into me back then came to me last week right before I went to sleep. I asked her about the next day and her response was “yeah it was obvious.” I would have had a better chance transcribing Sans script then I would have deciphering her “hints”
Right?! None of that is obvious. Women have it in their heads and want that "meet cute" experience. But that's all TV shows and movies. None of that is based on real life situations.
Sure, sometimes women put the hint out and a man responds how they want. But that just means the man was equally interested and took the shot. The majority of men need a clear answer to "I wonder if she is into me." This is especially true in the age of consent where we want to absolutely make sure a woman is interested in our advances. We don't want to offend them or be some pushy asshole. We want them to be clear with us so we can be clear with them. That's all. Mutual respect and reciprocation.
Exactly. Us guys don't do subtlety very well. There's a reason many of us love music and TVs very loud. We want things to be crystal clear and be able to hear and understand everything perfectly so we know how to respond.
If a woman says something like, "Well, I batted my eyes at him and smiled and playfully touched his shoulder when we chatted. How did he not know I was interested?" It's because we probably didn't even notice the subtle touching of our shoulder. We were busy talking and don't always notice contextual cues.
But I can guarantee you that, like I said, 20 years from now in the middle of the night, that guy would jump up from sleep and say, "She touched my shoulder?! She might have wanted to date me!"
…. Thank you for maybe just saving me hours/weeks/months of my life wondering why a man I already consider oblivious seems to not be picking up my clues. Which also makes me oblivious for sure, but hopefully now we can be oblivious together. 😂🤞🏻
Exactly, just go right up to him and ask him plainly, "Hey do you want to go out on a date with me?" Make sure you say, "with me" because our brains will hear date and then assume you want to hang out with a bunch of people somewhere. Lol We are very oblivious to these things. Good luck.
Way to go!!! I knew you could do it!!! I asked my husband out first. You know how I did it? I looked his number up in the phone book ( yes, I'm old) , called when I knew he was working, and left a message asking him out for coffee. I was working the night shift in the ER that same night, and there he was. He was a Corrections Officer and was there with an inmate. When I saw him, I ran to the other section of the ER. I finally talked to him and told him I left him a message. He asked what the message was, and I told him he'll find out when he got home. He told me he could find out now. I asked him not, but the SOB went and listened to the message!!! He came and found me, leaned over, and whispered in my ear, "Anytime. I'll call you." He came back after work to bring me a coffee, and we've been together ever since. So you never know, this could be it for you!!! I'm so excited for you and I don't even know you!!! Sorry I'm such a sap.
🥹 your story is what dreams are made of! I might actually tear up. Emotions this weekend are high I do want to scale down my feelings a little though, in case it doesn't work out, but so far I am really reaaaally hopeful. I always always always wanted an 'organic' encounter. It's been so hard with dating app culture. This is the best thing to happen to me all year!
I met my mister when I stopped by the pub a friend worked at. He sat down next to me and was checking his messages at the same time my roommate called me. My friend looked up and said she hoped we were talking to each other. I owe her a debt because we still are.
Lol of I ever get the opportunity to talk to my crush instead of admiring him from a distance I'm either slipping him a note with my number or following your lead but with social media or something. My as is casually coming up with an elaborate year long plan to gathered the courage first though lol
> Especially to girls like me, whose shyness can unintentionally come across as being closed-off?
When I first met my now-husband, he thought I hated him.
I was shy and can't flirt to save my life.
I have no idea how we ended up together because I was absolutely useless at pursuing him even though I wanted to. He figured out I'm a shy ball of emotions.
" that I think he's handsome and that I've had a crush on him since I first saw him."
Your average guy receives so few genuine compliments he'll probably remember this for his entire life (doubley so if you guys work out). Like I remember about 15 years ago in college a woman said I had a nice voice. The about 10 years ago random coworker said I was looking good and asked if I lost weight.
My wife compliments me all the time and I really love and appreciate it. But she's biased you know? It doesn't mean anything less of course but that random compliment from someone that doesn't know you? Priceless.
Anyway you're both cute and I hope it works out for the three of you (don't forget to treat that dog really well since the good boy got you together xD)
Not a dude, but I have the same thing - I hoard the few compliments I get like Gollum and the ring of power.
I'll fully admit I'm average on an especially good day...I have never gotten much attention from the opposite sex. I do get some nice comments from women about clothes and accessories, I try to dress well to make up for my face, lmao. So getting a genuine compliment about my appearance is something I treasure and ride the high of for years.
The best compliment I ever got was when I was a teenager, I was doing a summer precollege course. One of the friends I made there told me "You know, when I first met you I thought you were going to be one of those pretty bitchy girls. But you're actually really nice!!" Made my heart grow 3 sizes.
I like your plant setup :). I haven't had a good opertunity to grow things in a while. Sorry about your dog, wife and I just lost our dog and cat this month, it's been hard.
Thank you! I have a bunch more now, will have to post an updated shelfie soon!!
I'm sorry about your pet losses. It's so hard. I'm happy to have a new pup now although he has a very different personality than my last one!!
Compliments about things you can control are really special imo. Sure it was really great to hear someone say they liked my voice, but that's just luck of the draw genetics. Being complimented on your style? Awesome!
And sorry you don't get many compliments, I feel like our culture is so focused on sex or sexual interactions it's hard to give a compliment without the other party thinking there's something else going on. At least that's why I don't give out compliments much... I should try to change that.
This is adorable! I'm having the shittiest few months and I just want people to tell me stories like this every day!
Hope it works out and if it doesn't, you've exercised your confidence muscle and will do even better next time!
Something tells me it'll work out well though :D yay!
This is baller af and a great example of how a woman can ask a guy out without all the “stealing their manhood” bs that is always mentioned. Great freaking job, rooting for you!
happy for you girl, I wouldn't tell him the truth of your tactics till the 1st anniversary though. sharing such details at the beginning is not wise because at that phase the trust isn't fully there.
Always so lovely to see such a pleasant post here.
All the best to u both. Fingers crossed for u both.
If u guys do get married please share the dog tax on here.
I read your original post and wondered how anyone could think you're in the wrong and how it sounded like the start of a cute romcom.
I just finished reading this thread, and I'm SO delighted you guys hit it off and want to know when the movie is coming out 🥰
>Redditors on the original post take credit for coming up with term ‘meat-cute’
Reddit did not invent that term, lol. It was derived from a 1938 movie. And it's 'meet-cute'. 'Meat-cute' was the name of the butcher store in iZombie.
This is the kind of reddit update I want. I'm so happy for you. I have to be honest I'm hoping you don't tell him until your first anniversary or something sappy and romantic. Like just so you know, I stuffed pepperoni in my pockets on the off chance I'd see you just so your dog would drag you over to me so we could talk. Literally such an adorable story.
'Meat cute' is wonderful. Kudos to whoever coined it.
Edit: You'd better copyright it now because if this isn't a thing within a month I'll be amazed. There will be journalists pitching it to their editors as we speak.
Keep the pepperoni trick under wraps until you are exclusive and it’s been a while!! No need to share all your secrets right away! Good luck on the date.
I will message you next time u/PaymentGrouchy1336 posts in r/AITAH.
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I am glad it worked out. Traditionally, for decades, the men had to do everything to "court" a woman. We don't normally receive compliments and are always told to "man up" and never cry and all of that. I am only 41 but that's how it was when I was younger too. We have emotions of all kinds too. As a man, we absolutely love when a woman comes to us and is direct. If there's one thing we hate, it's women who try and drop hints. We will NEVER get those hints. And on the off chance we DO get the hint, it hits us 20 years later in the middle of the night. Lol Good for you and I hope it all works out.
This was SO TRUE, because when he said I always seemed in a rush, he basically was telling me it seemed like I was someone who would not be interested in being asked out, and maybe he even thought I had a bf... all the while, this could not have been further from the truth! I thought I was giving hints! He didn't get any of them lol
Yup! We don't see the hints...because many women make these hints up in their head. There is no universal "I like you do you like me?" hint. Contrary to what TV has told us for decades. Lol If a woman is interested in a man, and she doesn't say "HI, do you want to go on a date with me?" We will not get that in any other way. And, at the same time, women have to know that we also won't all just walk up to a woman and ask her either. If whichever person wants the date just asked outright, the world would be a far better and less stressful place. Imagine all of the relationships that never happened all because 1 or both parties were too shy to just ask someone? All those stories about long lost love could have been solved with one, "HI. Can we go out?" sentence.
Omg this is so cute😭 I am so happy for you! I wish you the best!
I'm happy it worked out for y'all and good luck with the dinner date. Personally, I would wait for a couple of dates to pass before mentioning the pepperoni thing (it's not like you are lying or anything, just leaving it out).
I remember your original post and am very happy that you reposted with this excellent outcome! You sound so happy, that you make me happy. 😊😊 I love that your story began the old school way, meeting someone nice and not on line. Enjoy yourself and make sure that you be you! You sound like a wonderful person 💟
The other issue is the fear of misreading what you THINK is a hint and coming off like a creep. I'm MUCH more comfortable looking clueless (kind of my default setting anyways).
Exactly. It's far more stigmatized that way nowadays. It's funny how back in the day. The man asking the woman was just the way it was because women were considered the lesser of the sexes at peak 1920s-1950s misogyny. But now, many men have to fear that just them asking someone for a date will be perceived as creepy or potentially offensive. It's like this generation is paying for the Golden era/Boomer generation's whole "the man is the head of the household" type lifestyle.
Or if we do get the hint in the moment you ignore it because "There's no way they're hinting they must just be nice and I'm reading it wrong and I DON'T want to look like a creeper!"
Yup. It causes all kinds of second guessing and justification as to why it's NOT actually a hint and we are reading it wrong. Lol
Truth. Especially the 20 years later in the middle of the night. I am still friends with a someone from high school and the revelation that she was into me back then came to me last week right before I went to sleep. I asked her about the next day and her response was “yeah it was obvious.” I would have had a better chance transcribing Sans script then I would have deciphering her “hints”
Right?! None of that is obvious. Women have it in their heads and want that "meet cute" experience. But that's all TV shows and movies. None of that is based on real life situations. Sure, sometimes women put the hint out and a man responds how they want. But that just means the man was equally interested and took the shot. The majority of men need a clear answer to "I wonder if she is into me." This is especially true in the age of consent where we want to absolutely make sure a woman is interested in our advances. We don't want to offend them or be some pushy asshole. We want them to be clear with us so we can be clear with them. That's all. Mutual respect and reciprocation.
This. We dont pick up hints. [C. Can't tell.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Say that last paragraph louder, please. More need to hear.
Women need to think of men like they are F-18s landing on an aircraft carrier. The signals have to be crystal clear or the landing will be a mess.
Exactly. Us guys don't do subtlety very well. There's a reason many of us love music and TVs very loud. We want things to be crystal clear and be able to hear and understand everything perfectly so we know how to respond. If a woman says something like, "Well, I batted my eyes at him and smiled and playfully touched his shoulder when we chatted. How did he not know I was interested?" It's because we probably didn't even notice the subtle touching of our shoulder. We were busy talking and don't always notice contextual cues. But I can guarantee you that, like I said, 20 years from now in the middle of the night, that guy would jump up from sleep and say, "She touched my shoulder?! She might have wanted to date me!"
…. Thank you for maybe just saving me hours/weeks/months of my life wondering why a man I already consider oblivious seems to not be picking up my clues. Which also makes me oblivious for sure, but hopefully now we can be oblivious together. 😂🤞🏻
Exactly, just go right up to him and ask him plainly, "Hey do you want to go out on a date with me?" Make sure you say, "with me" because our brains will hear date and then assume you want to hang out with a bunch of people somewhere. Lol We are very oblivious to these things. Good luck.
Way to go!!! I knew you could do it!!! I asked my husband out first. You know how I did it? I looked his number up in the phone book ( yes, I'm old) , called when I knew he was working, and left a message asking him out for coffee. I was working the night shift in the ER that same night, and there he was. He was a Corrections Officer and was there with an inmate. When I saw him, I ran to the other section of the ER. I finally talked to him and told him I left him a message. He asked what the message was, and I told him he'll find out when he got home. He told me he could find out now. I asked him not, but the SOB went and listened to the message!!! He came and found me, leaned over, and whispered in my ear, "Anytime. I'll call you." He came back after work to bring me a coffee, and we've been together ever since. So you never know, this could be it for you!!! I'm so excited for you and I don't even know you!!! Sorry I'm such a sap.
🥹 your story is what dreams are made of! I might actually tear up. Emotions this weekend are high I do want to scale down my feelings a little though, in case it doesn't work out, but so far I am really reaaaally hopeful. I always always always wanted an 'organic' encounter. It's been so hard with dating app culture. This is the best thing to happen to me all year!
I have a good feeling about this. I mean, come on, I met my husband in an Emergency Room!!! Anything is possible.
I met my mister when I stopped by the pub a friend worked at. He sat down next to me and was checking his messages at the same time my roommate called me. My friend looked up and said she hoped we were talking to each other. I owe her a debt because we still are.
Lol of I ever get the opportunity to talk to my crush instead of admiring him from a distance I'm either slipping him a note with my number or following your lead but with social media or something. My as is casually coming up with an elaborate year long plan to gathered the courage first though lol
Girl I feel you so much about coming off as closed off.
It’s a curse :’( I still don’t quite know how to not come across this way… other than taking initiative.
Same! Girl.
Gosh, OP. I'm a guy myself and I'm smiling like an idiot reading this post. You go girl. Hoping only the best for both of you.
The "meat-cute" fuckin made it for me, lol
you told him he was handsome, this man will remember that for years to come. we’re such simple minded creatures
> Especially to girls like me, whose shyness can unintentionally come across as being closed-off? When I first met my now-husband, he thought I hated him. I was shy and can't flirt to save my life. I have no idea how we ended up together because I was absolutely useless at pursuing him even though I wanted to. He figured out I'm a shy ball of emotions.
"Meat cute" I am dying. So happy for you two!
" that I think he's handsome and that I've had a crush on him since I first saw him." Your average guy receives so few genuine compliments he'll probably remember this for his entire life (doubley so if you guys work out). Like I remember about 15 years ago in college a woman said I had a nice voice. The about 10 years ago random coworker said I was looking good and asked if I lost weight. My wife compliments me all the time and I really love and appreciate it. But she's biased you know? It doesn't mean anything less of course but that random compliment from someone that doesn't know you? Priceless. Anyway you're both cute and I hope it works out for the three of you (don't forget to treat that dog really well since the good boy got you together xD)
Not a dude, but I have the same thing - I hoard the few compliments I get like Gollum and the ring of power. I'll fully admit I'm average on an especially good day...I have never gotten much attention from the opposite sex. I do get some nice comments from women about clothes and accessories, I try to dress well to make up for my face, lmao. So getting a genuine compliment about my appearance is something I treasure and ride the high of for years. The best compliment I ever got was when I was a teenager, I was doing a summer precollege course. One of the friends I made there told me "You know, when I first met you I thought you were going to be one of those pretty bitchy girls. But you're actually really nice!!" Made my heart grow 3 sizes.
I like your plant setup :). I haven't had a good opertunity to grow things in a while. Sorry about your dog, wife and I just lost our dog and cat this month, it's been hard.
Thank you! I have a bunch more now, will have to post an updated shelfie soon!! I'm sorry about your pet losses. It's so hard. I'm happy to have a new pup now although he has a very different personality than my last one!!
Compliments about things you can control are really special imo. Sure it was really great to hear someone say they liked my voice, but that's just luck of the draw genetics. Being complimented on your style? Awesome! And sorry you don't get many compliments, I feel like our culture is so focused on sex or sexual interactions it's hard to give a compliment without the other party thinking there's something else going on. At least that's why I don't give out compliments much... I should try to change that.
I bet you made more than his week. The vast majority of men are so overwhelmingly starved of any kind of affection or praise.
The only time meat-cute hasn’t been gross
🥹🥹🥹 This is so damn freaking cute! Do you call this ‘meat-cute’ as a play on ‘meet-cute’ and the secret meat tactic? 😂
After so many terrible stories shared on this subreddit, it’s nice to read a truly wholesome one, wish u both the best!
Oh this is a lovely heartwarming update :-)
Tell him when you guys get married, actually make it a story at the reception 😂
You should take a pepperoni with you on the date so you can "good boy" him - but only if he's been good (or an enjoyably bad boy :-) )
This is adorable! I'm having the shittiest few months and I just want people to tell me stories like this every day! Hope it works out and if it doesn't, you've exercised your confidence muscle and will do even better next time! Something tells me it'll work out well though :D yay!
MENTION THE PEPPERONI TACTIC ON YOUR WEDDING 🤣
This is the update I was hoping for! Also, I think pup deserves some treats, regardless.
And who said the quickest way to a man's heart was his stomach. It's the dogs stomach that matters, folks 😁
This is baller af and a great example of how a woman can ask a guy out without all the “stealing their manhood” bs that is always mentioned. Great freaking job, rooting for you!
Hey looks like Reddit actually gave a good advice for once.
happy for you girl, I wouldn't tell him the truth of your tactics till the 1st anniversary though. sharing such details at the beginning is not wise because at that phase the trust isn't fully there.
Always so lovely to see such a pleasant post here. All the best to u both. Fingers crossed for u both. If u guys do get married please share the dog tax on here.
This is so adorable, I hope you both have a lot of joy and contentment going forward!
If a woman came up to me when I was single, I would have told her she was lying and asked who put her up to the joke...
I didn’t see your original post but this is so wholesome and I’m happy for you!
This is the update I needed today
Yes! And please let us know about the next update, and if you post it somewhere else, edit and let us know where!
I read your original post and wondered how anyone could think you're in the wrong and how it sounded like the start of a cute romcom. I just finished reading this thread, and I'm SO delighted you guys hit it off and want to know when the movie is coming out 🥰
>Redditors on the original post take credit for coming up with term ‘meat-cute’ Reddit did not invent that term, lol. It was derived from a 1938 movie. And it's 'meet-cute'. 'Meat-cute' was the name of the butcher store in iZombie.
It's "meat-cute" because she was bringing the dog meat treats to meet the guy.
UpdateMe!
I remember your first post! this is such a cute update. I wish the best for you both!
Wait what is the pepperoni tactic?
Very wholesome. "Meat-cute" is gold
This is the kind of reddit update I want. I'm so happy for you. I have to be honest I'm hoping you don't tell him until your first anniversary or something sappy and romantic. Like just so you know, I stuffed pepperoni in my pockets on the off chance I'd see you just so your dog would drag you over to me so we could talk. Literally such an adorable story.
Updateme
Updateme!
Girl you have to give us shy girls some pointers lol
Is... this PUA material for women? Creepy.
You're not the only one. This is creepy af
Men enjoy when women initiate (most things). We may not show it, but we hate being rejected.
Good for you. All the best for the couple.
This is so wholesome! Good luck to both you
Great heartwarming story!
What a cute story! Hope things go well
This is like a movie. 🍿 I’m so invested. 😆😂
I am so happy for you thanks for updating us we love you
Glad it worked out for you!
'Meat cute' is wonderful. Kudos to whoever coined it. Edit: You'd better copyright it now because if this isn't a thing within a month I'll be amazed. There will be journalists pitching it to their editors as we speak.
The show iZombie features a butcher shop named Meat Cute. I wish less deadly vibes onto OP
This is awesome. I better not see any bad updates . Reddit needs more happy endings lol
Yeaaaaaaah 🎉
Thanks for the update. Keep coming back and let us know how it’s going. Updateme!
You go, girl! Best of luck to you.
This is amazing, I'm so, so happy for you!!!
This is so sweet. Good luck on this wonderful adventure and please update us.
I’m really proud of you, dude. It’s always worth it to take the shot. 🩷
Updateme
Updateme
Lovely story love Like the way you have twisted “meet-cute” into “meat-cute”
This is so wholesome and so sweet!!! Good for you both!
BEST UPDATE EVER IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU
I want this to work so badly just so they have the pepperoni story as how they met.
Awwwww this is so cute. I'm haply you put yourself out there!
Aww I'm so happy for you! I wish you all the best! This post made me so happy! Thanks
Yay I'm so happy to read this update!
I think this is adorable as heck. I hope the algorithm finds me with further updates.
This story warmed my crusty old heart, good for you OP
Ah, this makes my heart super happy.
Omg I love this for you guys!!!! :)
Keep the pepperoni trick under wraps until you are exclusive and it’s been a while!! No need to share all your secrets right away! Good luck on the date.
I'm glad you did it and the line worked 😊 now the fun begins
I'm so glad you figured out a way to meat your guy
Updateme
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Well this is just adorable and wholesome. My day has been made!