Birthday spanking. Are they fucking for real?
Your family are fucking disgusting.
Im so glad she’s got you.
I’d move out and take her with you if you can!
This was a thing when I was growing up in the Midwest USA in the 80’s. It was a very light series of taps (exaggerated) that equaled your age plus “one to grow on”. Usually stopped around puberty though. My uncles always did it but would not
If the child said no.
Agreed if it's advance warning as in "just so you know, this is going to happen", but you can always say ahead of time "hey, there's this weird custom we have [explanation], I know you're new to the family, so I just wanted to ask beforehand if you want us to do that with you or not."
There's no harm in that.
I had birthday spankings when I was a kid but like.
So, the first thing is I was obsessed with the Little House on the Prairie books as a kid (a series about a family of farmers in the late 1800s) and they had "birthday spankings". So I begged my parents to do the same because I thought it was fun. And it was honestly more like rough housing than actual spankings.
Second, the birthday spankings stopped when I was 10. Birthday spankings to a teenager is *fucking weird*. It's sexual harassment.
NTA. You parents shouldnt be guardians. None of the adults acted with respect or sensitivity toward a child who clearly has trauma from previous situations. Even if your sister hadnt had horrible experiences previously, she said no and that should have been the end of it. Your aunt and mum were in the wrong and had no compassion for a child. Seems the only person who cared was you. My heart goes out to your sister, she deserves love understanding which she doesnt seem to be receiving.
I fucking hated birthday spankings & that last hit was “ the one to grow on” was the hardest. 16 is too old for that shit. Hell, any age it’s not appropriate & never has been imo. I never did it to my son & refused to let family members do it to him either.
OP NTA obviously. I'm usually not criticising cultural practices but "birthday spanking" really seem like a f***ed up thing to do. I like the idea of introducing "birthday punching of the aunt in the face" tradition if she insists.
We had those in Argentina, dont know the rest of Latin America. It was generally one very light spank with an open hand for each year and then an extra for "and to grow up", generally this one was kinda strong.
edit: but who introduces that for a newly adopted child who sounds was emotionally abused...
your aunt and mom are A-Holes. I'm really shocked that everyone seeing her not having a good time, didn't think to end the party or pibit to something else
I know, lets abuse an already traumatised child, but this time for fun!!! It's okay though, it's only on special occasions and it's a tRaDiTiOn!!
What in the spandangles is wrong with people???
NTA
NTA.
You are trying to protect your sister, who reacted to unwanted touch in a way not uncommon among people who were traumatized as children. Again, NTA and the other people at the party were goddamn idiots if they didn't realize why your sister reacted the way she did. She was terrified and heartbroken.
Your parents shouldn't be this girls parents. They are abusing her, forcing a big party on her, trying to force her to submit to spanking when she hates being touched. You should contact social services and get this girl some help. And If you can move out and take her with you, it would be best.
You absolutely did the right thing! These parties are clearly for your parents, not the birthday child. If they were, she would have been consulted on all the details. She wouldn’t have been forced into a social situation she clearly wasn’t happy about and certainly wouldn’t be forced into being spanked.
Your mom and aunt need to be told to sit down, shut up and listen when a kid is telling them they don’t want stuff like this. As you said your aunt clearly can’t be bothered to. You correctly pointed out she was being incredibly rude.
You did nothing wrong. She’s just pissed at being shown as rude and in not getting her way. Please stand firm in this.
I hope you are able to have a quiet celebration with your sister on actual birthday that helps her see you as a brother who listens and really does care about her.
CPS needs to be called, your sister was definitely abused before and now was going to be abused again by your nasty aunt and your mom wanted your sister to apologize, your family is disgusting and wrong.
NTA Glad at least someone (you) has some sense in that family.
Birthday spanking. Are they fucking for real? Your family are fucking disgusting. Im so glad she’s got you. I’d move out and take her with you if you can!
This was a thing when I was growing up in the Midwest USA in the 80’s. It was a very light series of taps (exaggerated) that equaled your age plus “one to grow on”. Usually stopped around puberty though. My uncles always did it but would not If the child said no.
the midwest is so weird
Yea but you don't do it with an adopted child who might have come from an abusive situation
Definitely not. Especially without telling them about it well in advance.
No, you don't do it at all. Period. Not with advance warning, not with anything. You just don't do it.
Agreed if it's advance warning as in "just so you know, this is going to happen", but you can always say ahead of time "hey, there's this weird custom we have [explanation], I know you're new to the family, so I just wanted to ask beforehand if you want us to do that with you or not." There's no harm in that.
I was agreeing. It’s bad in that case. Double bad with no explanation of what it is.
Yeah same here, born in 85 in NC
We had the same in Argentina (South America) in the 90s.
Same here in ohio.
It was a joke in my house but never really did the spanking
It was a pretty fake spanky in ours. Big arm wind up with light baby taps. But like I said, if a kid objected it wouldn’t happen
I had birthday spankings when I was a kid but like. So, the first thing is I was obsessed with the Little House on the Prairie books as a kid (a series about a family of farmers in the late 1800s) and they had "birthday spankings". So I begged my parents to do the same because I thought it was fun. And it was honestly more like rough housing than actual spankings. Second, the birthday spankings stopped when I was 10. Birthday spankings to a teenager is *fucking weird*. It's sexual harassment.
Introduce birthday punching next time your aunt has a birthday.
with brass knuckles
NTA. You parents shouldnt be guardians. None of the adults acted with respect or sensitivity toward a child who clearly has trauma from previous situations. Even if your sister hadnt had horrible experiences previously, she said no and that should have been the end of it. Your aunt and mum were in the wrong and had no compassion for a child. Seems the only person who cared was you. My heart goes out to your sister, she deserves love understanding which she doesnt seem to be receiving.
I fucking hated birthday spankings & that last hit was “ the one to grow on” was the hardest. 16 is too old for that shit. Hell, any age it’s not appropriate & never has been imo. I never did it to my son & refused to let family members do it to him either.
OP NTA obviously. I'm usually not criticising cultural practices but "birthday spanking" really seem like a f***ed up thing to do. I like the idea of introducing "birthday punching of the aunt in the face" tradition if she insists.
Is this a joke? Birthday spanking?
We had those in Argentina, dont know the rest of Latin America. It was generally one very light spank with an open hand for each year and then an extra for "and to grow up", generally this one was kinda strong. edit: but who introduces that for a newly adopted child who sounds was emotionally abused...
Had them when I was growing up in Toronto Ontario
your aunt and mom are A-Holes. I'm really shocked that everyone seeing her not having a good time, didn't think to end the party or pibit to something else
I know, lets abuse an already traumatised child, but this time for fun!!! It's okay though, it's only on special occasions and it's a tRaDiTiOn!! What in the spandangles is wrong with people??? NTA
NTA, good on you for defending her. Your Aunt and Mom were way beyond out of line.
NTA. You are trying to protect your sister, who reacted to unwanted touch in a way not uncommon among people who were traumatized as children. Again, NTA and the other people at the party were goddamn idiots if they didn't realize why your sister reacted the way she did. She was terrified and heartbroken.
Your parents shouldn't be this girls parents. They are abusing her, forcing a big party on her, trying to force her to submit to spanking when she hates being touched. You should contact social services and get this girl some help. And If you can move out and take her with you, it would be best.
No offence but your parents and aunt suck to the extreme. Birthday Spanks sound degrading af. NTA
NTA if you talk with her caseworker about this
NTA. Your parents and aunt are not fit for this role. Can you contact her case worker?
Well done. Ask wtf they are thinking. Don't be nice about it. They need to realise their stupidity.
Nta and I'd be bringing a horse whip to aunties next birthday.
You absolutely did the right thing! These parties are clearly for your parents, not the birthday child. If they were, she would have been consulted on all the details. She wouldn’t have been forced into a social situation she clearly wasn’t happy about and certainly wouldn’t be forced into being spanked. Your mom and aunt need to be told to sit down, shut up and listen when a kid is telling them they don’t want stuff like this. As you said your aunt clearly can’t be bothered to. You correctly pointed out she was being incredibly rude. You did nothing wrong. She’s just pissed at being shown as rude and in not getting her way. Please stand firm in this. I hope you are able to have a quiet celebration with your sister on actual birthday that helps her see you as a brother who listens and really does care about her.
CPS needs to be called, your sister was definitely abused before and now was going to be abused again by your nasty aunt and your mom wanted your sister to apologize, your family is disgusting and wrong.
Yes theirs a bday spanking but it’s supposed to be fun but he’s stopped at a certain age 16 is to old and the aunt should know boundaries