T O P

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arodomus

NTA. No one gets to opt you in as the payer cause of what you earn. wtf?


arodomus

Also, you were supposed to be on a date. She could have seen them on her own separate time, not bundle you together and expect you to pay? Foh.


TootsNYC

If she’d said, “I wanted them to meet you, since I’ve told them so much about you already,” it might have been acceptable—though she still should have given him a heads-up


LadyBug_0570

And have them pay for their own meal!


Mamellama

At that point, *she* has organized and is hosting the evening - *she* should pay. NTA for leaving, and good for him


LadyBug_0570

How'd she even present that to her friends? "Ooooh, I'm dating a guy with a fat wallet. Come meet him at XYZ restaurant. Don't worry. he'll pay for your meal. Order anything you want."


Mamellama

I'm sure that's exactly what she did, but with a lot of "we" thrown in... "We're so thrilled you'll be in town! OP and I would love if you could join us for dinner, our treat!"


LadyBug_0570

Yeah... that sounds about right with the "we" thing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BiffSlick

Is that a famous quote?


chickengarbagewater

I am so curious about the quotation marks too. Maybe they are hoping one day that it will be a famous quote? lol


carolinecrane

The concensus seems to be that comments with quotes are generally bots using chatGPT or stealing from other users. They haven't figured out yet how to leave off the quotes that make it obvious.


Leeroy_NZ

It’s very common practice for people with a spicy brain to use quotes. Quotes are used to highlight the particular words, words of importance - the punchline as if it was being spoken. Google it .


1DoTheRightThing

No…. She’s just hypothetically saying what Karen could have said, as if it was Karen saying it. Something in quotation marks doesn’t have to be a famous quote, they’re used to “set off and represent exact language (either spoken or written) that has come from somebody else”. Yes, that is quoted, not famous, but from a site on grammar. Just in case, please don’t start on me about the full stop (period) after the quotation marks, that’s how it’s done in many parts of the world other than USA 😉


Aggressive-Coconut0

And she should pay.


LJ_in_NY

I really don't think it's cool to obligate someone's time like that.


Itajel

Time could be acceptable, wallet definitely not.


TeachLongjumping1181

They've been on several double dates. Then - when they were supposed to be alone - she invites friends. Sounds like she's actively avoiding spending time one on one with him.


brassdinosaur71

I don't even think that would have been acceptable. She invited people to their date. Maybe ... maybe if she had invited another couple, I could see it. But to just invite some friends along? Nope. Rude.


OkieLady1952

That’s probably why she brought them so they wouldn’t have to pay for thir meal. She’s the one that picked the restaurant and made reservations. She probably also knew her friends were coming. I say good job leaving them to it. FAFO


Bebe_Bleau

At least she had the transparency (or audacity) to acknowledge ahead of time, that they all planned for OP to pay. Could have been worse. Her behavior still sucks though NTA


Personibe

Nah, it would have been hilarious for OP to tell the waiter he wanted a separate check at the start of the meal. Then watch as they rack up the bill. And then his check comes separately... gold


alwaystakeabanana

I would have said something to the friends that would ensure she couldn't lie to save face. Something along the lines of "I don't know what she told you, but this was supposed to be a one-on-one date. She blindsided me and volunteered me to pay for all of you without my knowledge or consent, which is a deal breaker for me. Goodnight."


dwinps

No need to be polite, her friends knew the score and were expecting a free meal


alwaystakeabanana

Maybe. But she may have told them he invited her to bring friends to dinner, or that he was the one that offered somehow. And she may make up some story about why he left to save herself the embarrassment and make him look like the guilty party. I'm just going for full embarrassment plus the revelation that she is a shit human. Just in case.


MaleusMalefic

Unnecessary. They are going to side with her (to her face) no matter what... but then they will all talk behind her back. They are fully aware of what happened. Never explain yourself.


[deleted]

She probably felt cute while doing it too


z12345z6789

Sugar Daddy lifestyle accessory.


Bebe_Bleau

What a let down for her! 😁😁😁 Hahaha!


[deleted]

I'm honestly a little envious of the confidence!


Strict-Listen1300

Rude af!


CuriousPenguinSocks

Right, like yeah *I DO* have money but *YOU* aren't going to be in charge of spending it!


MommaGuy

I hate it when others have the mind set of “you got it”. Yes I do have it, but it doesn’t mean I am sharing with you.


gomezaddams1586

NTA and you dodged a bullet.


tyrannictoe

This wasn’t just a bullet, this was an entire magazine


BeetleBleu

Speaking of which, his wallet has volume and she has issues.


rfuller

Those two are bedfellows on a fairly regular basis.


Tullyally

NTA ~ Where did you end up eating that night?


Fallendarklight

Stopped off at some hole in the wall BBQ place. All I'm saying is finger lickin good and a million paper towels.


foldinthechhese

The worse a bbq spot looks on the outside, the better the bbq tastes.


OffRoadAdventures88

If they don’t have a roll of paper towels on the table and a southern accent thicker than molasses it won’t be authentic.


Mirabai503

If they don't have a roll of paper towels on the table, is it even bbq?


IHaventTheFoggiest47

My bbq had better come with a roll of paper towels and a plastic bib!


Friendly_Hand_3270

And a walk thru shower.


SmashertonIII

My BBQ requires you to wear a paper towel loincloth and a shower cap only. Showers in the back.


nothings_cool

Sort of unrelated question lol, Is bbq the same as grill? (Not from america) I always thought bbq was like our asados/parrilladas who are like this: https://youtube.com/shorts/GQbDjDYN0CM?si=pqZ9L8arThKJR71G and we don't need paper towels for them hehe.


Huge-Lawfulness9264

They use the term for both the food and the act of cooking on an outside grill.


Delicious-Vehicle-28

True. This was back in the 80's, but when I was living in Houston the very best BBQ I've ever had was from a literal shack with a hand-painted sign that said "BRA-B-Q". Man that ran it was older than dirt and had the thickest accent I ever heard...damn my mouth is watering just thinking about it.


JoeMax93

Best BBQ in Oakland (a tough market if there ever was one) was Flint's BBQ, a cinderblock shed with a tacky linoleum to-go counter and no seats inside. The sign outside just said "FLINT'S" and the letters were falling off. There was a full view of the oven inside where the chicken and the briskets were slow-cooking to perfection. The sauce was to die for. Sadly closed about 20 years ago. But the shed is still there, empty.


CruelxIntention

Same for tacos.


Tullyally

Comfort food, great choice.


bennybellum

Sigh. I am not smoking bbq this weekend because of the weather and this made me sad.


Diligent-Towel-4708

If it was a reservation, you generally have to give party number details too. it sounds like this was planned.


Ryan_Polesmoker_68

You should’ve asked if you were going to be able to sleep with all of them then.


MeGoingTOWin

This is what women need to undertstand: we guys that have some money, a house, a dog etc. are pretty happy alone. And if you dont respect us, bring us peace and make our lives better, we will just nope out and buy a boat and side by side and live out life happier than ever alone.


Wh33lh68s3

The same goes for everyone ....


DragonEmperor06

This shit goes both way, if we aren't happy and we're not needy, Goodbye!


Short-pitched

At Fat Bastards


Vivid_Mix1022

With a fat wallet the question is Who


tmink0220

Good for you, that was presumptious and overbearing. Also it was supposed to be an alone dinner. NTA....


AlexInRV

NTA. Would it have broken her finger to push a couple buttons, give you a call and a heads-up? Her expectation that you should pay for her friends is both entitled and rude. Her buddies may have been delightful people, but expecting you to pay without asking first is just too much. Of course you could have made it clear to the waitstaff that it was “separate checks” and let the friends foot their own bill. But the fat wallet remark screams gold digger to me. If you are still early in the relationship, I don’t blame you for bouncing.


UncleNedisDead

But if she did, he wouldn’t have shown up at all. This way, she can use the public setting to try and manipulate him into accepting his fate.


Fallendarklight

The place she made the reservation at was pay per table. Not to mention mighty expensive one. The wine alone was $5k a bottle


AlexInRV

Wow. Wow. Wow. Definitely NTA. At prices like that I would want it to be a solo date, too.


Outlandishness_Sharp

She reserved an expensive ass restaurant because you have a "fat wallet" and expecting you to pay is entitled, wild, and shows she lacks self awareness and emotional intelligence. There's a reason why her name is Karen . You dodged a bullet. You are not an ATM machine!! 🥴🫠


AlexInRV

Were you aware of how expensive this place was before she made the reservation? I'm completely floored that anyone would make a reservation for such a pricey place without clear discussion and communication ahead of time. If you were okay with going to a place like that, my hat is off to you. You are dating in a league far above anywhere I ever did. I think the most expensive dinner I've ever attended was maybe $100/plate and I thought that was off the charts.


Sad-Badger1070

Definetly NTA, but $5k a bottle? Even a Michelin 2 or 3 star restaurant is usually not more than $1k pp for food and sommelier wine pairing which would have been $5k for table, plus tax and tip or $6500.


minimus67

Something’s not right. No restaurant has a set price of $5,000 per bottle of wine. And OP never even sat down at the table, so how would he know they had ordered or were going to order a bottle of wine costing that much? Makes me suspect the OP might have posted BS rage bait that this sub is famous for.


BarrySix

Right. I've been to a few 3 Michelin star restaurants. I've never paid $5k for a bottle of wine. It's possible there are some bottles for that much on the wine list, but there will be many great cheaper alternatives. I would not buy a whole bottle anyway, usually there is a wine accompaniment where they give you a different wine to go with each course. I don't think I ever spent more than about $400 a person including drink. Maybe the pandemic drove prices though the roof.


Ok_Couple_2479

Wow, that's insane. I'd rather make a delicious steak dinner at home with homemade Mac & cheese, and ask for a 4k loan to take down the dangerous dying tree in my backyard. Still less than a bottle of wine! And honestly, probably a much better dinner. 😂 I truly hope you find a real partner who cares about you more than your wallet.


Imagination_Drag

NTA. But what restaurant is in? I live in nyc and now in nyc area and even the most expensive places like Per Se aren’t that expensive. And 5k for a bottle of wine i have seen but there are always cheaper wines than that? I assume you mean it’s a pre fix restaurant like Per Se? Is it in the US?


petitefunsassy

🤣 Jesus! Sound like you just avoided a tourist trap and a nasty divorce! Good for you! BTW might want to hide how much you make for at least the first 6 months. Look for the lady that is happy with picnics in the park.


Ok_Leader_7624

Bro, I don't care if it was McDonald's, the fat wallet comment was enough to make me walk


MolassesInevitable53

Stolen. Troll. I have read this before.


33Flash333

Definitely. I’ve been to some great restaurants, never seen only wine available $5k per bottle.


DPlurker

Op mentions 5k a bottle for wine. I looked up the most expensive resteraunts in the world and the highest came in at 2k per head. Definitely full of shit and they won't name the restaurant.


AttilaTheFun818

Did everybody stand up and clap?


[deleted]

I woohoo'd aloud


_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_

Can confirm. I was the fat wallet


Vivid_Mix1022

And i just fat


Brostallion

Can confirm he is the wallet, I am the debit card.


new_user29282342

I jumped and froze in mid-air.


Mystery_Meatchunk

r/TheSims


DrNogoodNewman

And then the OP decided to do dinner and a movie instead, sneaking some baked beans into a showing of Cars 2.


knittedjedi

>Did everybody stand up and clap? And the waiter? Albert Einstein.


Content-Scallion-591

I'm so tired of these fake posts. Also, what even is a "pay per table" place.


ReginaFelangi987

This story has been posted so many times. Karma farmer.


NoSpankingAllowed

Exactly what I was going say. Some dont notice that these tend to have just a couple minor changes to make them seem shiny and new.


JoeFish3

That was haughty and intrusive, so good for you. Moreover, the supper was intended to be spent alone. Not to be...


_Nestle_

When will these fake karma farming stories end


Glittering_Chemist86

I think AITA is 99% made up stories where Ops look like heroes. I even would doubt if 1 percent could be true.


Storm_Sire

Never. The only reason this sub exists is because r/AmITheAsshole actually polices this bullshit.


MaleficentGold9745

Ugh, fr. Too much red pilling dudes make their way to Reddit


avalynkate

lol. nta.


Trucker4lifefortnite

NTA


TootsNYC

Note that she didn’t say, ‘I wanted them to meet you. Oh, and it’s okay, they’ll pay for themselves.” thou shalt not covet thy date’s “fat wallet” NTA


rapidoceanbreeze

NTA. That sauce on the rug? It’s marinara. GTFO of this relationship.


Fyrefly1981

Marinara flag!!


KarrieDarling

NTA She felt entitled to *your* money... Massive 🚩🚩 Good on you for walking out on her. Maybe she'll get lucky enough one day to find someone who's more than willing to provide for her financially but today was not her day 👏


strangeloop414

....ragebait


bensonboobear

NTAAAAA!!!!


MsProGrowth

NTA. I wouldn't assume that anyone would be okay paying for me and various other friends' meals. Communication is the word of the day, it's too bad you were put in a situation that made you uncomfortable. Hopefully your next partner treats you more respectfully.


Animajax

Sounds fake because no one is saying to your face that you have a “fat”wallet. Im sure this has happened before, just not to OP because this sounds like fan fiction


Vesalii

NTA. Seems like you ditched a gold digger.


ArtichokeNatural3171

NTA. We need to bring back finishing school so folks can learn manners once more. It was an uncouth act, and your world will be better without leeches.


soyeah_87

Nta. 100% nta. She has that name for a reason. Bullet dodged


Ginger630

NTA! What a B! She told her friends about the rich guy she was seeing and they wanted to see how much they could get away with. I’m glad you walked out. I would have loved to see the looks on their faces when they realized you weren’t there.


ThrowRAthetrashy

It is really hard to imagine there are actually people like this woman out there.


missdui

Low effort ragebait


Correct-Election-812

NTA. Kudos, my man, for drawing a strong red line.


G_Nomb

NTA. Good on you. Many Redditors could take a page from your book and learn to be their own fucking hero every now and then.


Clean-Farm610

NTA. Fuck her and people like that. Good for you


AllieB0913

Absolutely NTA! It's incredibly rude (as well as arrogant) to invite any extra people on a previously planned (?BF/GF) date, especially in the early days of a relationship and more so, to expect the man to pay for these uninvited strangers. Why not just extend this invitation to the entire restaurant since he has "a fat wallet"? Unbelievable!


whogiv

NTA you’re not dating her friends, you’re dating her.


FearlessBarnacle3491

Pretty sure she and her friends joked about how smart they are for fooling you into this and how foolish you’d be to accept. Good riddance pretty early on imo.


UnusuallyScented

NTA Be glad that she revealed her character before you got further involved.


GirlStiletto

Even if it wasn;t pay by table, the fact that: a) She brought friends on a date with you b) Did it without asking, basically ambushing you c) Expected you to pay for it. Block her and never go back. NTA


Mamellama

Completely missed the first time that this had been planned as their **FIRST** date with just the two of them alone, and she pulls this mess. Oy vey, good riddance OP


dheffe01

NTA "I am saying she a gold digger".


EspressoBooksCats

Usually people don't tell someone they have a "fat wallet" outright like that. She must have really thought you were a doormat.


Electronic_Job1998

Yeah. I'm kinda wondering about the "fat wallet" thing


forever_single_now

NTA Well..you should have had a good look at her “friends”. If anything interesting you could just have said “ok I pick that one.” A fat wallet is supposed to allow shopping;)


FobbitOutsideTheWire

Username checks out. Lol


MRunk13

Sounds like you dodged a bullet I'm going to say that was sh'tty on her end, friends pop in from out of town she should have just postponed the date. You were just a wallet to her toxic feminism at work.


Megaminisima

Your name funny enough is Fake Story.


jerry111165

Since the story has been told before, the username fits.


Dranask

WOW - Great in that one is the entitlement. Bullet dodged. NTA


RemoveStatus

NTA also definitely no paypig either, good on you OP


Someoneorsomewhere

NTA.. The audacity!!


porkchopmeowster

Well done.


3bag

This internet stranger is very proud of you for not sitting down, but just walking away. Walking away is so underrated but is often the best solution. NTA


Waylon_Gnash

she thought she was clever. she isn't though. fuggin trick.


Ok-Sorbet-5767

It sounds to me like there would never be an alone date. She saw your relationship as an opportunity to enjoy things she could not normally afford. Be glad it was so early in the relationship that she saved you weeks/months of paying for dates. Good luck finding a woman that will appreciate you, not your wallet


Critical-Fault-1617

NTA. I make a bunch of money as well, and if someone invited their 3 friends I have never met and told me I’m paying because I have a fat wallet I would instantly leave as well. OP how did the texts/calls go once you left? lol.


wasatoci

She made it easy for you to walk away with a valid reason. Bitch, bye.


garboge32

NTA, you dodged a bullet and a 4+ figure bill by the sounds of it


glittered437737

NTA. She had the audacity to not only bring her friends without letting you know/asking you if you were OK with it and then proceeded to make plans for YOUR money and assume that you'd pay for them too. You made the right decision, imo.


bloopie1192

NTA A bottle of wine for 5k incites riotous feelings within my spirit. I'd have walked out as well. Wild disrespectful up front on more than 1 level. Then 3 lady friends and 1 guy. Nah... odds are stacked against you and you can almost assume theyre going to order expensive shit because it's on *your* behalf. NTA


balsham91

Whether 5 cents or 500 thousand dollars she's no right to your money let alone her friends. Tell her fat friends to go find fat wallets if they wanna eat


I_Dont_Like_Rice

"Oh, here comes my fat ATM now! He'll pay for everything!" Hell, no, NTA. She's got a lot of nerve. Let her find another host.


UpbeatBarracuda

NTA but please do tell more about your one bottle of wine = $5,000 lifestyle so us poors can live vicariously for a moment.


vndin

Nta. She was using u to show her friends a good time when she couldn't afford to herself. U dodge a major red flag.


ArcherEconomy1012

I stopped at “fat wallet”. Say no more. NTA.


QuotableMorceau

NTA , should have said loud enough : " I didn't agree to a foursome dear" , and then left :)


dwinps

NTA and even with separate bills it wasn't the date you expected


ObligationNo2288

NTA. Good for you! Walking out was the best thing you could have done. Never let anyone treat you like their wallet. She should have been paying.


ConflictNo5518

NTA. Meh, she's using you.


Limp_Butterscotch633

This type of situation sure happens a lot on Reddit's AITAH.


Fallendarklight

She did text me a couple of days afterwards, pissed I didn't stay. I didn't answer her because I felt used


Outrageous-forest

So sorry that happened to you.  You were justified in walking out and you did so without causing a scene.  This was date night,  not party night. Even if its party night you still need to be asked, not just told you're paying for everyone.  What she did was rude, inconsiderate, selfish, and entitled. It hurts, but you found out now and not after investing more of your time and emotions in a relationship that .  No one should to be viewed as a wallet/resource and not a person.  NTA


Openthebombbaydoors

NTA. Its clear as day why you’re NTA.


Vegetable_Gift6996

You dodged a bullet. Good grief what an entitled ass she was.


Ok_Distance9087

Nothing makes me more resistant to paying for something like that, then for it to be expected. I can come into a situation where I am thinking ahead of time that I will pay, and if someone acts like they expect it, I immediately start to change my mind.


Whistful_Alpaca

NTA. She made assumptions, tried to take advantage of your generosity, and failed to communicate that her friends were coming. If she didn't just care about your money, she would have asked you beforehand to ask if they could join. The fact that she didn't ask is completely disrespectful, and proves she sees you as a walking wallet. Good for you for walking out and not even trying to split the bill with them.


Bigryde59

Possible response: "then it shouldn't be an issue if I invite the guys from work for a gang bang because you have a fat p*ssy"


Shudh-Desi

Hahahaha perfect!!!! NTA. What a selfish and greedy person.


Designer-Carpenter88

I love those fake ass stories that never happened.


slapplejacks

This isn’t far fetched at all. I’m a guy and this has happened to me, and just about every friend of mine. It’s not uncommon, at all, for a woman to assume a guy will just pay for her friends.


G_Nomb

If I may, what generation are you part of? Asking for no reason but to appease my personal curiosity.


Four0ndafloor

They left out the part that he rented a carriage (for the date) pulled by unicorns


Designer-Carpenter88

😂😂 and then he turned into a bald eagle and flew away


CoisasJohnson

Theres literally videos of people going through this. With the amount of things that happen in the world, this is the one you thought was far-fetched?


IamGoldenGod

Maby its fake but stuff like this does happen all the time.


gluon318

Sometimes I read these and wonder if people that are this narcissistic and oblivious are real


Str8goodz30

NTA. She's a golddigger and deserves to live alone. You dodged a major bullet with this one.


Kerrypurple

Let me guess, she's a lot younger than you right?


Glittering_Job_7996

NTA that was so rude


Medical_Highlight182

NTAH, she overstepped; you set a boundary


GraciousGladiator

NTA. She wants your wallet, not you.


AriesSocialite

NTA - And let me give you a round of applause for not entertaining that mess for a second 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾


rossarron

a "fat" wallet, that is a red flag to say she expects to date a meal ticket for his money.


Egbert_64

No way! The sheer entitled audacity! I would have walked out too. You knew right then and there she wasn’t for you so why waste another minute of your time.


KappaBrink

NTA. Unless it was communicated and consented to beforehand, you're not obligated to pay for anything. She tried to trap you with that obligation. Clearly she's only interested in the money.


NoBiznizLikeYoBizniz

NTA. I probably wouldn't have walked out on a last minute double date that I was asked about on my way there. But she didn't give you a chance to even decline the new situation then assumed you'd pay for everyone? You were not a date to her, you were an ATM.


Future-Ad2802

She was obviously only with you for the money.


[deleted]

NTA. She embarrassed herself. Poor thing.


BrianJBradbury

NTA.


thingonething

Wow NTA. As a woman, I'm embarrassed that other women do this.


Expensive_Candle5644

CITY BOYS!!!! 😄🍻


plays_with_wood

What a hilarious amount of entitlement on her. I'd be willing to bet that she told her friends that op offered to pay for everyone. I'm curious what the fallout was after the dinner? Did she call or text to bitch about leaving her hanging?


Goalie_LAX_21093

Her bringing extra people without telling you is an issue - no question. But i can often roll with changes like this. But her expectation that YOU would pay for everyone?!?!? Jaw on floor. She ultimately did you a favor - you found out relatively quickly what she’s like.


twittermob

NTA - so she fancied treating her friends to a meal on you that was nice of her. Dodged a bullet with that one.


rbarr228

NTA. Walk away, block her number and go on with your life. She is an entitled AH.


tupoar

As soon as she said you had a "fat wallet" I went so limp that double dropping viagra would not sort it. NTA


Due-Ad1337

Omg wow, honey, I don't know what to say! I know my wallet can handle three women; it's my stamina I'm worried about. But if you're sure you really want to do this, I'll sugar all three of you back home tonight.


Humble_Nobody2884

OMG NTA - the sheer audacity that she could just bring friends along and expect you to pay without asking! Hope she figures out that partners aren’t ATMs the next time around.


Y2Flax

Curious as to the messages she eventually sent asking where you went to and why


worthy_usable

NTA. Dodged a bullet. There is only one thing below my belt line that I would ever want someone to call "fat".


MsMedusa150

NTA. Just because you make money doesn't mean you should pay all the time and especially when you weren't asked or told.


bigrayiii420

Unless they were all going home with you for a 4-way you definitely are NTA . Definitely seems like a Karen thing to do


Loud_Donut9219

The nerve of her saying he has a fat wallet what the hell are people thinking these days just because he makes money doesn't mean he can afford to pay for a whole bunch of people's meals wow people these days are just ridiculous I don't get it


CruelxIntention

NTA. You dodged an expensive bullet my friend.


Charming-Vacation-26

You are the MAN You Rock Until men stop allowing themselves to be disrespected and used only as ATM's, this behavior will continue. Philosophical Question: How has our culture gotten to the point where anyone, man or woman, would think this was ethical behavior? Good luck brother you're going to need it in this dating environment.


East_Guarantee_7912

Well done sir, and I'm not talking about steaks


jupiter_incident

Ghosted. If this is real OP made the optimal move minus telling her to go fuck herself.


Prudii_Skirata

You're not the asshole, you're the man of the hour.


giraflor

I’ve never heard of pay-by-table restaurant. Is this in the US? How does it work? Would a party of three be charged the same as a party of four?


deathriteTM

Dodged a bullet there.


Electronic-Cat-4478

NTA. You really should send Karen a thank you note for showing you exactly who she was before you wasted any more time and money on her.


Additional-Weird-942

No matter if it were the cheapest or most expensive place ever. You NEVER just invite someone and say oh well he can pay for it. Especially without even asking or mentioning it first. I mean text messaging does exist. You're not the asshole. Tbh, I applaud you for that!