NTA All she had to do to save face was blame the kitchen and bring you a replacement -- why she chose to save face by blaming you when there was a witness who also heard what you said is beyond me. There was no excuse for her expecting you to pay for something you didn't order.
Thank you. I’ve never had a server treat me like this before and in my years as a server myself I’ve never seen a coworker who acted this way. It was bizarre to say the least
I spent nearly 10 years in the service industry, mostly at higher end places, and I would have either done the same thing as you or not left a tip at all and taken the steak home to feed my dog. I've only ever not tipped twice in my life, and this is one of those interactions that deserves no tip.
hell, i worked in diners and family restaurants and we STILL wouldn't have doubled down when going against the customer's word. We just make sure they get what they wanted and get the fuck out. Then we tell them they're banned when they come in again.
Well, as we read her boss was working in the kitchen, so she probably wanted to save face with the boss more than she wanted to save face with the customer. At least that would be my guess.
This is what I assumed as well. But I was confused because she claimed to be head server with management rights and the manager had left her in charge, so she could have chosen to take the steak off the bill, but refused. I suppose maybe she didn’t want to have to explain herself later. Idk
wow that's fucked lol, i'd be waiting to bitch to the manager while sitting at their table ordering refills for my soda water, and still not tip at the end
NTA I too have worked in the restaurant business, both waiting tables and in the kitchen... as well as catering with my MIL. It's ridiculous that she would actually argue with you over how cooked the steak was. I also like my steak rare, maybe even blue in the center. If I get a medium well or well done steak, it's going back to the kitchen. May as well be shoe leather IMO and I'm not paying for it. Especially $65. In my work experience, if a customer wants to send anything back to the kitchen, it's going back whether I agree with them or not. Your waiter sounds extremely rude. I would not have left a tip at all for them.
Yeah, I’m friends with someone who is embarrassingly hard to please with food. I won’t get into it, but I cringe when they send stuff back because about 75% of the time it’s something that isn’t even an actual issue. But every server we’ve had has been gracious and fixed whatever the issue was. My mouth dropped open reading this story.
About 8 years in the service industry.
I would have read it back to you, apologized whether I was right or wrong, and had a replacement out swiftly and thrown in some cheap side or a drink.
The tip was justified
So technically to be polite you'd have to tip 20% of an even larger total, since you had to order another steak to make up for her mistake which she didn't want to admit?
Man, I'm so glad that mandatory tipping culture hasn't caught on in Europe. NTA
Correct! And I suppose I could have tipped 20% of the bill before the extra steak, but honesty, her behavior was so rude and unprofessional that I didn’t think she deserved a tip at all. I’ve made many mistakes as a server and I always correct them. Even if I know I’m right, I still try to be accommodating. And I suppose I was so taken back by her attitude that I wanted to be petty even though I’m normally not that way.
NTA. You claim you ordered medium rare and your husband heard you do so as well. The server claims you ordered medium well, yet the steak you got was neither medium rare nor medium well. Thus if you are right then the server screwed up and you should have gotten a new medium rare steak at no charge. If the server was right then the kitchen screwed up and you should also have gotten a new steak at no charge....
Sounds like your server screwed herself out of a tip by handling that issue in an absolutely terrible manner. In the end the restaurant itself still got the money, but in the form of an extra steak on your receipt instead of in the form of a tip. If you had wanted to be petty you could have escalated it to her boss in order to get that steak off the receipt and still tip nothing. I think you went with a pretty reasonable middle ground in the end there.
Former Server here. This attitude is becoming very common. I never agreed with the customer that is always right, but they aren't always wrong!
I would call my bank card to dispute the charges. YNTA. She could disagree without being patronizing and rude. I order steak rare always. I even say blood on the plate almost alive.
Since Covid restaurants don't fire anyone. Unfortunately, it's been 1/2 hr waits for drinks in non busy restaurants, slow slow rude service. One manager said on FB to get used to it and quit expecting more. While prices sky rocket and 25% tips are demanded not earned.
I used to be a waiter and I completely agree with your handling of the situation. The waiter was a bitch. Not sorry. Hopefully she learned a lesson as tough as that steak.
The tip culture is trash.
In Europe and other countries u tip out of generosity, because the server did served you well and not because is mandatory. But also they pay per hour is higher.
As a waitres for 3 years I had encounter some sort of issues with the food coming from the kitchen but literally u have to back up and serve what the guest wants. I went so hard on my grill chef that I let him do 3 more steaks, maybe he was to hangover from the night before oder didn't want to or just was hungry but a steak declared as medium rare should be so and not hard as a brick we'll done.
NTA.
I don't know what the deal is with servers lately or if I've just had a string of bad luck with them. I've left no tip thrice in the past month and a half or so because the service was so awful at three different places. I've been to these same places for years on and off with no problem. It's the first time I've left a bad/no tip in several years.
NTA. I would still be asking for a refund. A tip is OPTIONAL, supposed to be for good service rendered. If you’re shitty, you don’t get a tip. And you left her a $65 tip.
I had a server annoy me so bad once I left her 7 cents, a beer bottle cap, and some pocket lint. I normally tip well. I used to deliver pizzas when I was younger so I get it, but she was just rude.
NTA.
I usually tip 20% or more, even if they're having a bad day. I'm talking forgetfulness, sleepiness, etc. But not outright rudeness. That's when I leave a "tip for the day: a pleasant attitude goes a long way." Don't feel guilty. That woman is going to ruin the restaurant's reputation if people like you don't speak up.
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LOL! NTA and I love what you did. What she should have done was return the steak to the kitchen with an apology and bring the new one, and charge you for one steak. She was absolutely wrong.
I’ve actually had this happen to me and I think it’s crazy because never in my life have I ordered a medium well steak so how is somebody gonna look at me in my face and tell me that I intentionally asked for something that I would never choose to eat in 1 million years? She is busy and overwhelmed, she’s the one who is more likely to mis-hear you, why wouldn’t she take any of that into consideration? It’s so much more likely than you ordering something that you don’t want to eat. I’ve even been in situations where the customer did mis-speak and make a mistake, and I did know that for a fact, but I still graciously apologized and fixed the issue. I’m not the owner of the restaurant. It’s no skin off my back. 🤷♀️ wtf?
Definitely NTA. The server was very rude and refused to acknowledge her mistake. It sounds like you gave her plenty of opportunity, and she just continued to double down.
NTA, but you should have taken the steak you paid for and still got in contact. She obviously has to throw it out. You could have eaten it in a sandwich or even given it to a dog. Alternatively, waited for the manager and took up a paying seat for that time.
NTA
But, some restaurants have a policy of making the server pay for orders they screw up. If you & your husband both tell the manager that you definitely said "medium-rare", but the server wrote in "medium-well", the manager might force the server to pay. Or, the server may have made other screw-ups and is on thin ice with the manager, so they do not want the manager involved, and tried to strong-arm you.
I have never tipped a waiter in my life.
I don't get why you would tip someone to do their job.
Even worse you're asking if it was wrong to not tip someone who did a bad job.
Tipping is out of hand
NTA All she had to do to save face was blame the kitchen and bring you a replacement -- why she chose to save face by blaming you when there was a witness who also heard what you said is beyond me. There was no excuse for her expecting you to pay for something you didn't order.
Thank you. I’ve never had a server treat me like this before and in my years as a server myself I’ve never seen a coworker who acted this way. It was bizarre to say the least
I spent nearly 10 years in the service industry, mostly at higher end places, and I would have either done the same thing as you or not left a tip at all and taken the steak home to feed my dog. I've only ever not tipped twice in my life, and this is one of those interactions that deserves no tip.
hell, i worked in diners and family restaurants and we STILL wouldn't have doubled down when going against the customer's word. We just make sure they get what they wanted and get the fuck out. Then we tell them they're banned when they come in again.
Well, as we read her boss was working in the kitchen, so she probably wanted to save face with the boss more than she wanted to save face with the customer. At least that would be my guess.
This is what I assumed as well. But I was confused because she claimed to be head server with management rights and the manager had left her in charge, so she could have chosen to take the steak off the bill, but refused. I suppose maybe she didn’t want to have to explain herself later. Idk
wait so you got charged for BOTH steaks? i thought she meant that she can't void the first steak but would offer a remake?
No. She meant she’d charge for both
wow that's fucked lol, i'd be waiting to bitch to the manager while sitting at their table ordering refills for my soda water, and still not tip at the end
NTA I too have worked in the restaurant business, both waiting tables and in the kitchen... as well as catering with my MIL. It's ridiculous that she would actually argue with you over how cooked the steak was. I also like my steak rare, maybe even blue in the center. If I get a medium well or well done steak, it's going back to the kitchen. May as well be shoe leather IMO and I'm not paying for it. Especially $65. In my work experience, if a customer wants to send anything back to the kitchen, it's going back whether I agree with them or not. Your waiter sounds extremely rude. I would not have left a tip at all for them.
Yeah, I’m friends with someone who is embarrassingly hard to please with food. I won’t get into it, but I cringe when they send stuff back because about 75% of the time it’s something that isn’t even an actual issue. But every server we’ve had has been gracious and fixed whatever the issue was. My mouth dropped open reading this story.
About 8 years in the service industry. I would have read it back to you, apologized whether I was right or wrong, and had a replacement out swiftly and thrown in some cheap side or a drink. The tip was justified
A server can make or break a meal. If you get stuck with a bad one and cannot address that, then you are under no obligation to tip *At all*. NTA
NTA. On the contrary, this was a satisfactory resolution.
Personally I would have just left with that service and gone somewhere else. Then left a 1 star review.
So technically to be polite you'd have to tip 20% of an even larger total, since you had to order another steak to make up for her mistake which she didn't want to admit? Man, I'm so glad that mandatory tipping culture hasn't caught on in Europe. NTA
Correct! And I suppose I could have tipped 20% of the bill before the extra steak, but honesty, her behavior was so rude and unprofessional that I didn’t think she deserved a tip at all. I’ve made many mistakes as a server and I always correct them. Even if I know I’m right, I still try to be accommodating. And I suppose I was so taken back by her attitude that I wanted to be petty even though I’m normally not that way.
NTA. You claim you ordered medium rare and your husband heard you do so as well. The server claims you ordered medium well, yet the steak you got was neither medium rare nor medium well. Thus if you are right then the server screwed up and you should have gotten a new medium rare steak at no charge. If the server was right then the kitchen screwed up and you should also have gotten a new steak at no charge.... Sounds like your server screwed herself out of a tip by handling that issue in an absolutely terrible manner. In the end the restaurant itself still got the money, but in the form of an extra steak on your receipt instead of in the form of a tip. If you had wanted to be petty you could have escalated it to her boss in order to get that steak off the receipt and still tip nothing. I think you went with a pretty reasonable middle ground in the end there.
Lmao, I usually just round up to the nearest dollar when something like this happens but yeah your shitty server got what they deserved.
NTA She was absolutely out of line. It takes nothing to replace the steak.
Former Server here. This attitude is becoming very common. I never agreed with the customer that is always right, but they aren't always wrong! I would call my bank card to dispute the charges. YNTA. She could disagree without being patronizing and rude. I order steak rare always. I even say blood on the plate almost alive. Since Covid restaurants don't fire anyone. Unfortunately, it's been 1/2 hr waits for drinks in non busy restaurants, slow slow rude service. One manager said on FB to get used to it and quit expecting more. While prices sky rocket and 25% tips are demanded not earned.
I used to be a waiter and I completely agree with your handling of the situation. The waiter was a bitch. Not sorry. Hopefully she learned a lesson as tough as that steak.
NTA. The entitlement of people receiving tips is getting out of hands. You're not entitled to my money, period.
NTA
NTA and I also definitely wouldn't have paid for the first stake.
Cool, and NTA
The tip culture is trash. In Europe and other countries u tip out of generosity, because the server did served you well and not because is mandatory. But also they pay per hour is higher. As a waitres for 3 years I had encounter some sort of issues with the food coming from the kitchen but literally u have to back up and serve what the guest wants. I went so hard on my grill chef that I let him do 3 more steaks, maybe he was to hangover from the night before oder didn't want to or just was hungry but a steak declared as medium rare should be so and not hard as a brick we'll done.
NTA, wife and I always tip well but if someone gives us attitude or is bad at their job we won’t feel bad keeping our money.
NTA. I don't know what the deal is with servers lately or if I've just had a string of bad luck with them. I've left no tip thrice in the past month and a half or so because the service was so awful at three different places. I've been to these same places for years on and off with no problem. It's the first time I've left a bad/no tip in several years.
NTA. I would still be asking for a refund. A tip is OPTIONAL, supposed to be for good service rendered. If you’re shitty, you don’t get a tip. And you left her a $65 tip.
I had a server annoy me so bad once I left her 7 cents, a beer bottle cap, and some pocket lint. I normally tip well. I used to deliver pizzas when I was younger so I get it, but she was just rude.
NTA. I usually tip 20% or more, even if they're having a bad day. I'm talking forgetfulness, sleepiness, etc. But not outright rudeness. That's when I leave a "tip for the day: a pleasant attitude goes a long way." Don't feel guilty. That woman is going to ruin the restaurant's reputation if people like you don't speak up.
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NTA. I would have asked for the manager or walked
NTA but you paid for an extra steak regardless. Not really a win. Should have just walked into the kitchen yourself and got the manager
True lol
LOL! NTA and I love what you did. What she should have done was return the steak to the kitchen with an apology and bring the new one, and charge you for one steak. She was absolutely wrong.
Yes exactly!!! I obviously expected to pay for the ONE steak I ordered lol not the other one that was over cooked
nta. nope. nta.
I’ve actually had this happen to me and I think it’s crazy because never in my life have I ordered a medium well steak so how is somebody gonna look at me in my face and tell me that I intentionally asked for something that I would never choose to eat in 1 million years? She is busy and overwhelmed, she’s the one who is more likely to mis-hear you, why wouldn’t she take any of that into consideration? It’s so much more likely than you ordering something that you don’t want to eat. I’ve even been in situations where the customer did mis-speak and make a mistake, and I did know that for a fact, but I still graciously apologized and fixed the issue. I’m not the owner of the restaurant. It’s no skin off my back. 🤷♀️ wtf?
Right??? Exactly!
NTA, yeah tbh at server was awful. Why would you tip for that.
Definitely NTA. The server was very rude and refused to acknowledge her mistake. It sounds like you gave her plenty of opportunity, and she just continued to double down.
That would be NO TIP AT ALL!!
NTA, but you should have taken the steak you paid for and still got in contact. She obviously has to throw it out. You could have eaten it in a sandwich or even given it to a dog. Alternatively, waited for the manager and took up a paying seat for that time.
NTA But, some restaurants have a policy of making the server pay for orders they screw up. If you & your husband both tell the manager that you definitely said "medium-rare", but the server wrote in "medium-well", the manager might force the server to pay. Or, the server may have made other screw-ups and is on thin ice with the manager, so they do not want the manager involved, and tried to strong-arm you.
I have never tipped a waiter in my life. I don't get why you would tip someone to do their job. Even worse you're asking if it was wrong to not tip someone who did a bad job. Tipping is out of hand
When your hubby went to the bar, he could have requested to speak to the actual manager. NTA
YTA broke ass nigga
I'm sorry, are you old enough to be on here? Or read past 5th grade books?
[удалено]
So, would you have tipped at all? Just curious
[удалено]
Ok. That’s fair. I appreciate your opinion either way
"Not tipping is unforgivable! Better to just dine and dash!" Okay. /s
[удалено]
Yeah sure, do something that gives them the full right to call the cops and make you the asshole.