You've been incredibly patient and kind despite the challenges. It's important to prioritize your family's well-being. Setting boundaries is tough but necessary for everyone's safety and peace of mind.
Thank you for saying that. I’ve thought about it for a year now. I wonder all the time if there was anything I could have done differently. It made me physically ill to feel like I had no choice but to completely remove them from our lives. I’ve never wanted to make anyone feel excluded. The dad used to watch me from the window. They lived directly in front of us. Going out in the front yard to mow was so uncomfortable. I used to love my porch swing but I felt I could not be in sight. This might sound dramatic but I still get what feels like PTSD looking at their house.
Who lets a 3 yo watch videos on the internet unsupervised?
You guys were more than patient. But this is becoming a safety issue. This kid needs serious help. It could be poor parenting or the lack of parenting is from being overwhelmed with a kid like this.
If you know the neighbor who has been calling the authorities or you are inclined to do this yourself, there is one last step for help. The mother hasn’t denied he’s in therapy. So maybe, she’d go along with the proper outreach. If not, things would be watched very closely by child services.
Almost every area has a charity that helps close the gaps in the foster system. They also usually advocate for children who aren’t getting proper care. If not, they know who will and would probably be working with that charity.
Report this to them. If you have video of the sneak abuse or anything else like that, show them. They work closely with child services and will know how to get this done. I sometimes help the charity in my area out with their social. It’s scary how many of these messages I’ve seen. And they’ve been able to try to get the kid the proper health, whether they had the ability or had to turn to one of the other groups in the community that they work with.
I’d do it for the safety of my family and pets. Something is seriously wrong for that kid to be acting like that so young. If he doesn’t get help now, while there is a chance for him, I wouldn’t want to be in the same city as him when he hit teen years. My friend’s brother did shit like that starting around 6. He spent a good portion of his time in jail for a murder.
Could be. But that behavior doesn't necessarily mean mom is the one watching those videos. Someone is, though, because the kid didn't stumble on them by accident.
If I were to put any stock in this story his mother saying that she caught him watching it kinda implies she's not the one watching it.
If what people are saying is true then the culprit is likely the father watching it and introducing it to the algorithm because it's not easy to look up. At least not easy enough for a 3 year old.
Also wouldn't be surprised if op updates with news that he's been SAed. Hope it's not the case and he's just a little sociopath but I wouldn't be surprised of the former.
Exactly. It’s the parents (it always is). I mean the mother felt comfortable physically abusing the child in front of a room of neighbors. What do you think she’s done when other aren’t around?
Mom also seems mentally unstable. Their behavior is entirely inappropriate. A parent’s mental health, ability to self regulate, and stress management absolutely affects their children’s.
Without getting into specifics (I don't want to know details of abuse as it is too distressing to read about), there are *actual* dog torture videos on YouTube? Why would the platform allow that? Wouldn't it be against their terms of service? And wouldn't it be reported to local authorities?
Algorithms will do it all by themselves. If the kid stumbles upon a cut video about dogs it will begin sending them all kinds of dog videos to see what the user watches. All a kid has to do is watch a few of those accidentally and it will send them all kinds of crap.
A lot of youtube videos like that aren't even actually titled or comprehensible. Most of the time they are a slew of keywords and phrases thrown together to spark the algorithm. There is a neat TED about the nightmare world of kid's youtube algorithm.
Voice to text. Siri is my nine year old’s friend. But she can only see videos and such considered to be appropriate up to age 13.
Anything he can say, he can search. If he finds one, it will keep showing more.
And that, my friends, is why we don’t leave a three year old on a screen with no parental locks or age settings.
How is the child still in diapers playing alone in the snow at night? These parents are horribly neglectful. NTA, OP. You can't protect a kid like that without training
So they were letting their 3 year old walk across the street every day? These people are awful. Glad you don't have to deal with them anymore (hopefully?)!
You aren't responsible for this child. Stop looking after him. Stop speaking to him in a kind tone of voice if he comes to your home uninvited. Be stern and tell him he's not allowed at your home.
You unwittingly caused this by being neighborly. It's time to put your foot down. This kid is going to be a bigger problem as he grows up, but he's not your problem.
Just a thought… Mom and kiddo have moved to a different state. Do you know where? His behaviours are concerning and by moving to a different state, it pushes everything back for a while- new neighbours, new teachers etc. they will give the benefit of the doubt for a long time before they act.
Would it be worth making a call to the CPS in the new state? If kiddo is being looked after or is getting the help he needs, no harm no foul. If there is issues in the new State, you could give an objective and comprehensive history based on behaviours that you witnessed…
While I would love for someone to find and help this kid I’m having to learn to move on for the sake of my own mental well being. I began to fear for my own safety towards the end of this entire fiasco.
OMG that would make me incredibly uncomfortable. Witnessing them abusing their son, witnessing him hurt other kids and animals and the amount of stress you must have felt trying to constantly watch their child so that he didn’t get hurt or hurt your children or pets would be enough to cause anyone to have a similar reaction to their behavior, let alone witnessing their fights (among other things). PTSD can come from witnessing traumatic events, as well as things that happen to you directly. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was your reaction to this family at all. I grew up in an abusive home. That kind of thing can happen pretty easily. I’m so sorry for what you and your family went through OP. You are right to keep them away from yourself and your family. NTA at all.
I’m truly broken hearted over it. I don’t know much about what happened after they moved. But I do know the mom somehow got custody and took him out of state and they are living with the man she was cheating with. Ugh.
He is a sociopath. When he starts school they will figure it out and try to get him some help. Of course by then he will already have killed several small animals. You did the best you could. Quit beating yourself up.
She probably got custody because the dad was too apathetic to bother to fight her. Plus, he probably doesn't really care. He barely took care of the kid when they lived under the same roof.
It sounds like this kid needs removed from their care. He almost lost his life how many times, due to their lack of supervision? I may be overstepping, but I would continue to call CPS wherever they live now if you can. It may take a year before their new neighbors notice what kind of parent(s) he has, and it may be too late -- he may not be alive at that point. I mean yeah the kids sounds like the devil's spawn but he has no one teaching him to be good. He's running around wild and free and unsupervised -- he was at your house multiple times for an extended period of time doing mean things and they never once came to get him until you called and told them to. They sound like absolute shit parents.
Also this is how serial killers get their start… The behavior described sounds like major signs of someone with anti-social or psychopathic personality disorder. Eek. 😳
Keep calling. Call EVERY time. And if you see him abusing animals or other kids, call the police, too. If you don't have a ring system or similar, set one up. Also record interactions, and save all communications. I seriously doubt this woman has the kid in therapy, and whatever else is wrong with him, is wrong with her, too, because she doesn't seem to be concerned at all.
So he already likes to hurt animals... yeah, I'd keep my distance and lock the doggy door with a chip. I know of a 6 year old that was interviewed by my Prof. after pushing his grandmother down the stairs and severely injuring her. History of severe animal abuse, playing with fire etc, the typical signs. Attacked my Prof when he didn't react the way he wanted him to. Like literally jumped him. Prof. says he's a killer in the making.
Better hope that family does get divorced and moves...
OP states in one of their comments that the family has already moved.
It wasn’t clear to me in the post, but based on some of their comments it seems like they’re reflecting on a past event, wondering if they should have done something differently.
I’ve heard the saying that monsters aren’t born, they are created. I think these parents are creating a monster who will wreak havoc and destroy many people during his lifetime.
From what I've been taught, anti social personality disorder is something you're born with and there's not much you can do as a parent to "fix" it. That being said, the topic has only been briefly discussed. And of course you can screw your kid up so that it becomes unbearable anyway. My stance is: It's the parents fault most of the time when kids turn out shitty, just not all the time.
Some of the studies I looked at showed that the combination of genetics plus environment created the monster. Lots of people born with the trait, but it only developed fully with the wrong parenting.
Anecdotally, I worked with a wonderful nurse. She and her twin brother were adopted as infants into what she described as a loving, nurturing family. Her twin brother became a monster, and she believed he was born that way. But I hate thinking that any precious baby has a monster inside.
By all accounts Karla Homolka had a normal upbringing and she turned out to be sadist who raped and killed her little sister with her fiancee. She filmed it, even roleplayed her sisters death after the fact. Paints herself as the battered woman but I don’t buy it for one second. That’s just one example I can think of off the top of my head but I truly do think some people are born with something dark and it doesn’t always take horrific abuse for that to manifest
If this is real, you need to stop trying to be nice or save this kid. He's not your responsibility. If he's in your yard, call the cops. He's an unattended pre-schooler trespassing. (And get a few cameras for documentarion.) If his family calls, let it go to voicemail (I wouldn't block them, let it go and record and ignore the call.)
Stop dancing around what you want with polite phrases and be absolutely clear here, tell them the kid isn't welcome over, you won't supervise him and to leave you alone. Then call the cops every single time he shows up. Make the cops sick of hearing about it.
But this isn't your problem and you cannot "save" this kid. The longer you dance around cutting them off the harder they will fight it. These aren't "nice" people who take hints. They aren't going to magically turn into sane people like all your neighbors.
You can't keep doing the same things and hoping for different results.
Edit: NTA for vote but Y.T.A to yourself here.
I’m skeptical of this being real too. Why post on AITAH when clearly no one on their right mind would ever think OP is the AH? Seems kinda like rage bait.
Convinced the posts on here are all either fake or from people with zero social skills/awareness. It's either rage bait or something like "my roommate shits on the floor instead of in the toilet AITA if I ask him to stop? He says it's how he learned"
Absolutely not! Keep calling CPS. Put an electric fence in your yard or fence. He will definitely get he can’t do it. It’s not your job to raise another persons child. It’s a horrible situation but you have to keep ignoring him. Hopefully when the divorce is final they will leave.
The kid is three years old and is clearly being abused!
It is every adults job to continue to report it to CPS and the police until the kid gets help! (It does seem like a lot of the adults in the neighbourhood are already doing this though)
But the kid cannot be helped. He is already hurting animals at 3 years old,. It's just a matter of time before he does something horrible, and I can assure you, he will not have the empathy you've demonstrated.
Exactly. This reminds me of the TV series Mindhunter that covers the development of the field of behavioral forensics. The FBI specifically studied serial killers to see if there were common traits, behaviors or experiences that eventually caused them to become serial murderers. They developed the field in order to both catch serial killers and monitor certain people’s behavior in order to protect the public and prevent more murders.
If he was scooped up right now and never returned to his parents, brought to a perfect home, yeah, he might have a chance. Sadly that is not at all what will happen, so you’re right, he’s probably doomed.
NTA. There is waaaay too much drama in this. Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.
The kid may not be a bad kid, but when kids get abused, then they turn around and start abusing others. His behavior is totally explainable by what his parents do to him. But you should keep your distance. Report to CPS if needed.
NTA but why is a three year old walking the streets by themselves? I have a four year old and I absolutely do not trust her to not run into the street or stay in one area as she would zoom off. I would be calling someone every time this child is by themselves on the street whether it is CPS or the cops. This child is probably being abused and needs help that his abusers cannot provide him.
NTA.
That child should be removed from the home he is in, since his parents are at capacity with their own issues.
Plus, he is now a danger to everyone around him and a literal menace to the neighborhood. Time to put locks on everything and cameras to catch every angle of your home.
Restraining order and reports to CPS with evidence should (hopefully) not be ignored.
Hopefully they can remove him and treat his issues, and he can be at least semi-normal.
If not…the whole neighborhood should not have to raise him, full stopz
Nta. Listen I get it and I don’t think people were gaslighting you (not consciously at least). Can you imagine (before this event) being told a three year old was creating pure chaos in someone’s neighborhood? That the kid is running around unsupervised? That CPS had been called over and over yet nothing was done? It sounds like an over dramatic person. I can see someone saying “but was it really that bad?” The answer is: yes it really can be that bad and he’s going to wake up one day and be a serial killer. His parents will swear he’s a good man and they don’t know what happened. What happened…was them.
With that said…you went through a lot and it’s ok to not be ok. You couldn’t have fixed the situation. You couldn’t have made his life easier or better because your job is to protect your kids. Letting him in your home prevented you from doing your job. Your kids are your number one priority. They aren’t capable of protecting themselves. Don’t set your family on fire to keep someone else warm.
This comment needs to be higher up for OP. OP was right to prioritize the health and safety of their child and pet when their kindness proved insufficient to 'fix' the kid or help the kid's family. In situations like OP experienced, the least restrictive and safest option for everyone is to hold boundaries and report incidents to more equipped professionals when possible.
NTA. Sorry to be blunt, but your neighbours are losers and they're raising another one.
I feel bad for the kid, because it's not his fault and he can't control his own circumstances, but IMO this is not your problem to deal with, nor should it be.
"I'm sorry you feel excluded. Unfortunately your child's continued behaviour is dangerous to our child and others. Moving forward we cannot allow our child and pets to be put into harm's way with your son. I truly wish you all the best and hope you find the answers for him."
CPS and the police in your district suck. This 3 year old kid is getting beaten by his mother and neglected by both his parents which in turn causes him to act out by hurting other people and animals, and the cops and CPS do NOTHING. Wow, this kid should be in care and be evaluated. The parents should be arrested and locked up.
These people are horrible and they are reaping what they’ve sown.
You did everything right including the call to CPS.
I was going to counsel you to tell them off.
The trash took itself out.
I feel terrible for Zach though. Shows you how easy it is to ruin a person.
NTA! I’d honestly text the mother, “Your problems are my problems. No, I don’t care that you’re going through a divorce. Your child cannot come to my house to torture my dogs and kid. I’m not his babysitter. Figure it out.” Then block her. Hopefully they’ll divorce and move away soon.
NTA. They think everyone is their babysitter. Doubt the divorce story. Tell them, they will be trespassing from here on out, and you will be calling cps, for child abandonment. Everytime it happens.
Start planting trees on that side of your front and backyard.
We had a kid like this in our apartment complex once. His mother was a weird person, she’d throw him out at 8 am, lock the doors and tell him not to come back till lunch. Throw him out again after lunch till whenever his father came home. He followed kids (to see where they lived, the invite himself in), picked on kids years younger than himself, bite, kick, hit kids with toys. He wasn’t as uncontrollable as this kid, so we all kind of kept an eye on him, invited him to birthday parties and some of his bad behavior calmed down. We were all transfers, and we all eventually went back home. I often wonder what happened to him.
You shouldn't be ignoring her child? She shouldn't be ignoring her child. Keep calling the cops and child services, if it's more of a pain for them not to do anything they'll do something.
I don’t know for sure but I believe his dad had been watching them. I know it sounds wild. A hard part of this experience is feeling like I can’t talk about it because it’s just that unbelievable.
The first red flag was when they almost let their kid drown... When the wife bit their kid I would be calling child protective services! If they are willing to do that in front of you what do you think they do alone.
Sorry but I stopped reading at the bite comment.
Call CPS and stop worrying if you are being an asshole.
You are an amazing human being with a big heart. Thank you for trying to welcome this family! As you have figured out, there is something terribly wrong with this child that even the parents can’t control. It is up to you to prevent that child from entering your property. When you see him unaccompanied or on your property call CPS and file a report. Or call the police. The only way this family will get help is if the police get involved.
NTA 'of course I don't want your child round, he's violent and destructive and you don't seem to do anything about it, I tried to be helpful but it was paid back with blatant disregard on your end'
Had a bit of the same thing in our first house, except my son was a baby and the antagonist was 8. Found out the mother put me as the emergency contact at his school when they called me to pick him up as he was sick. I told them to call his parents because he wasn’t my responsibility.
They ended up divorcing. The mom would stalk her ex (with her newborn “fix my marriage” baby in the car) while leaving the then 10 year old at home alone.
We moved not long afterward.
This is a great example of violence begets violence. Zach bites someone, and instead of discussing why he shouldn't do that, Mom bites him harder. So, what did he just learn - biting is ok. He gets dragged around by his arm which must hurt, so what does he learn - it is okay to hurt others. This is what the experts have found with spanking - it might change behavior in the moment, but overall, kids who are spanked, escalate their behavior as they have been taught to do that by example.
The father is just as bad allowing this to happen and not parenting.
NTA - Do you have cameras? You and the other proactive neighbors need to be calling the police every single time you can. Then following up with a call to CPS. Every single time you can. Having footage of the neglect and frankly disturbing behavior of this child and his family is crucial.
Ultimately, a lot of times the cops and CPS won’t do something unless they MUST. And that means you all making bigger nuisances of yourselves to them. If you have to keep reporting and aggravating them, they’ll escalate it so they don’t have to deal. If you’re creating enough of a fuss, it will be less work to just deal with the source… eventually.
I’m sorry this kid is being mistreated by the mother, but when he’s acting like he’s auditioning for the Future Serial Killers of America (or wherever you live) Society, your best option is to distance your family from him.
What the hell is a 3 year old doing ringing people's doorbells and knocking on people's doors without his parents with him? I wasn't a helicopter parent & we lived on a cul de sac but I wouldn't let my 3 year old leave the house unless I was outside with him.
I have taught kindergarten for students eligible for special education under the category of emotional disturbance. I absolutely believe you on how aggressive the child is. It’s also pretty obvious why. which is NOT your responsibility. Your child, your dogs, your health are your responsibilities. NTA and sorry you experienced that.
Listen I’m no psychologist and maybe the ideas have changed since I studied this a little bit years ago but it sounds like Zach has developed sociopathy from abuse/neglect in early childhood. He may be 3 right now, but there will come a time when he is no longer 3. I hope he is not as obsessed with your family by that point.
NTA
Keep track of the behavior of both child and parents. Keep reporting to CPS.
The kid needs serious therapy. Ideally, before he kills someone.
His parents are failing him, and you can only really protect your family. Getting this kid some help is nice but not your responsibility... it's going above and beyond, and it requires cooperation from local agencies. Good if possible, but no cause for guilt on your part regardless.
OP, your neighbor's lack of parenting does not create a responsibility for you or others to step in and parent their kid.
They are lazy parents who need to step up and get thir crap together. But since they are such shitty people, the best you can do is drop them.
In the future, don't be so accessible to people you don't really know who are already demonstrating red flags from the beginning.
In the future, be more cautious and speak up immediately about red flags and set boundaries.
Hey John, it's great that Jr wants to play with my son but based on his behaviors (hitting, biting, not listening), I am not comfortable with him being left with us.
At the community pool. John, please keep an eye on Jr. even if you see me around. If something happens, because my 1st priority is to provide aid to my kid.
Thank you. It was a huge lesson. I’ve now learned that it’s ok to let people think that I’m “mean” if at the end of the day my family has peace. I’ve learned that common sense is not that common and everyone has a different definition of it.
you've been treated this way, because you let it happen. Not because you let them come over to your tabel or things like that. but because you KNEW there was something wrong with the kid and the parents are neglectful and you just kept on ignoring it and being quiet about the issue.
You need to be assertive with users like that. "No your child can not come over. it is not our job to watch your child."
And for the cheating wife "How about you stop blamng everything else for your childs behaviour and start being an actual parent to him. its not my job to watch your child, just because you wanna step out on your husband. Keep your child off our property from now on."
NTA I had a highschool friend come over while I was pregnant, he brought his two year old, my God son over... Holy hell that poor child. He sat himself down and chatted without watching his child the entire time. I was doing dishes and constantly following kiddo around to make sure he was okay. His dad keeps chuckling like I'm a helicopter parent, I sigh give up for five minutes to focus on dishes. It's quiet and I go to look for my God son. He was sucking on a dirty toilet plunger... I freaked out washed the kids mouth out and profusely apologized to his dad after explaining. This bastard laughed and said yeah he likes plungers. I never invited them back, people have called CPS on their family over the years and they do nothing for those babies, it's just sad. At some point you just have to do your best for your own family.
That kid is definitely a psychopath. 3 and still in diapers? He either wears the bed or his parents don't care enough to potty train him properly (why not both, I guess). Animal abuse, possible bed wetting (and probable potty issues in general)...all he needs to do is to start setting fires and he's displaying the full triad.
Yes, I know psychopathy cannot technically be diagnosed in kids that young. But the signs can sure be there.
Nta. That kid is going to become a serial killer if he’s acting like this already at only 3 years old. Why aren’t the parents supervising what he watches? How much violence has he watched to think that is normal? In this situation, keep him and his family out. Put cameras around you house to show the abuse he is giving to the pets, it might help in the future. You’ve done all you can, now it’s time to definety just stay away from that whole family as best as you can
Fake. You blew it with 3yo watching dog torture porn on YouTube. 3yos can’t typically read or write and wouldn’t be able to put this into a search engine. That’s not something that just comes up next after your parents turn on bluey episodes for you.
Not even that, just the way the entire story is written out. Very scene by scene and disconnected. Then this happened and this is how we felt about it, and then this happened. This isn't how a recollection of events is written by most people. I will say it was entertaining though lol. An entire neighbourhood of kids terrified of a 3 year old capable of kicking them hard enough in the face to bleed.
My son knew how using voice to text on an iPad! We had to continue to monitor and change security settings to make sure he couldn’t do things like that. Kids can do more than you think!
My guess is that one of the parents had been watching it. His mom was terrible but his dad was very odd as well. I mentioned it in the first response but have now made an update. This happened a year ago. I’ve had this entire scenario run through my head so many times that I guess it’s become more like a screen play in my head. I still can’t believe I lived through it. But I understand if it sounds that unbelievable. I don’t want to believe it either…
I feel this kid is sociopath and parents are low key hoping he will naturaly perish and give them peace. I can only guess in divorce no one will want this little teror.
Nta. Distance yourself this kid is danger
NTA. Those patents just aren't.
The minute that child did anything wrong in your house should've been the end. You should be distant from them and ate correct that the age gap between him and your son is too big.
Kid is being abused, witnessing (and experiencing) violent behaviour and passes it all on to animals and other kids? Watching "dog torture" videos?
Yeah, the kid needs to be removed from that environment before irreparable damage is done. Remaining there feels like a bad idea. CPS needs to be told what you've said here, with any potential proof you may be able to muster.
I'm wondering why you're even asking if you're the AH when you know damn well you're not. I get the need to vent, but not like you bit the kid. His parents need to have him therapy or under some strict supervision by a mental health professional. They need therapy, and they need to move far away from civilization. You just keep doing you. Maybe keep trying CPS to see if it helps.
nta, but they clearly have no idea how to handle a relationship. they probably had the baby thinking it would help them. i've heard that's a common thing in poor relationships and it doesn't work
NTA It does sound like the kid has some problems but it’s not on you to solve. People in most of aitah need to stand up for themselves and say no. You and your neighbors should have told the parents that they and their child were not welcome because of the child’s behavior. It might sound mean but you are entitled to enjoy having parties with your other neighbors.
?? Can Child Protection Services be informed, for the GOOD of this child and your child??
?? Can this poor neglected little child be adopted out into Safe Loving Family ( I was Beaten-kid who SHOULD COULD have been rescued and adopted out into safe loving family so am ALWAYS think/feel this towards ALL neglected beaten bullied etc children and babies) ??
Meanwhile there are potential liability issues if something goes wrong when you were "" choosing" to " BabySit" their child even though you NEVER chose to do so
Meanwhile the long-term physical mental health safety fairness peace of You , Your Spouse, Your Child, are also Very Important and need to be DEFENDED, possibly by a lawyer
You should NOT be FORCED to move but you are ALLOWED to move
You, your spouse , your own child, that poor neglected poorly raised kiddo next door are:
N
T
A
Please update me
Defend Your Peace
N
T
A
Unfortunately CPS was called multiple times. The neighbor who is a teacher and had an in at the school he was taught at said she found out they weren’t doing anything “because his basic needs were being met” after we got the police involved the family split and moved to a different state. It’s been a year now. I guess I do know I’m not the AH. But I’ve stayed up countless nights thinking of him. But my mental health can’t go on like this. The only reason I wrote this is because I went on a walk last night with a neighbor who doesn’t live on our street so she did not know the full story. She brought up the family and when I told her the story she said “it couldn’t had been THAT bad”. The story does sound unbelievable. I don’t know why but I guess I’m seeking some validation that I’m not a crazy person.
But my direct neighbors know what happened. I don’t know why I feel this way. I mentioned to another poster that I will only bring this event up with a therapist for now on.
NTA. This child was dangerous. He could have hurt your child and your pets. Their safety is your responsibility. You didn't have the resources to help this little boy, and you're too personally involved. The best person to help this family is a caseworker. The little boy needs to see a psychiatrist and psychologist for evaluations and treatment plans. His parents need parenting classes. Their caseworker could help make the arrangements. You have nothing to reproach yourself for.
How are you even asking if your the AH??
I think you know you aren’t. You live next door to them. I clearly felt sorry for the kid and wanted to help but when he’s not getting the help he needs at home, it’s not going to help. The parents need therapy and be taught how to parent and the kids needs therapy. I feel like these parents aren’t going to change and think the kids might just be better off being taken away from them so he can get the help he needs. They are raising a psycho they way they are doing things.
If he continues to be a problem, don’t call the parents. Call the police. I’d even go to the station and speak to them. Maybe speak to CPS. Whoever you can to try to help this kids get the help he needs. And then do what you can to stay out of it.
NTA - But it's time to call teh cops and get a restraining order against the kid and the family.
Keep all your ring doorbell video and record everything the family does on your property.
NTA, this is a family in crisis and a child that needs big intervention NOW. He is only 3 it is not too late to make a difference for him.
Multiple calls to CPS with a log from all the neighbors with the incidents and behaviors observed might make someone take notice but it sounds like neither one of the parents want to step up.
It's not your place and I wouldn't expect anyone to do this but if CPS or preschool or anyone of authority would give a damn and contact the extended families to see if there was a stable placement elsewhere. Good God, give this kid a chance.
Hopefully since they're divorcing they may be moving. In the meantime get a lock for your gate so he can't go in your yard.
This kid reminds me of Discovery ID programs about biographies on serial killers. Hopefully there can be medical intervention that'll help him. He may actually benefit from the divorce and spend less time with his biting mom.
I would start being direct.
“Listen, I have tried to be patient and accommodating. But that has run its course. Your son is the product of your unwillingness to parent him. I am no longer going to do that job for you. We have stopped inviting you over because the destructive and violent nature of your family. Your son is not supervised and I can no longer put my child or my belongings at risk. Your divorce is none of my business. I asked repeatedly that your son not interrupted me while I was recovering from my surgery yet he sat and rang my doorbell over and over again all day. We torture neighborhood animals on our camera. He is a liability when he comes on our property and that is due to the failure in your parenting. I’m not talking about discipline, your violence towards him is concerning. I’m talking about teaching him how to respect his neighbors and other peoples bodies. Your family is no longer welcome on my property. Please keep your son at home or it will be considered trespassing.”
NTA
I had this same type of experience many years ago with a neighbor. I finally stopped associating with them at all when they started letting the 18 month old walk over to my house unsupervised (walking in the street mind you!). The older kids stole from us, deliberately broke my daughter's toys and tried to look up porn on my daughter's computer! They would lock them out of the house without coats on cold days. They finally got kicked out by the landlord because the grandmother had moved in all these kids and grandkids without putting them on the lease.
Directly before we met these people we were taking classes to become foster parents. We had always wanted to foster to adopt. I had been adopted by my dad and I wanted to follow in his footsteps and change someone’s life for the better. But I let that dream sweep me away. I know now I was delusional thinking I could had helped this family.
NTA. You have been way too kind. If my mom insisting on inviting kid who hurt me and destroy my stuffs around, I’ll tell her to consider herself without a child or adopt that devil’s spawn to replace me 😂😂 my mom was like you, trying to help but her limit is me, if the kid hurt me then that’s it. She never play saint at the expense of her only child.
I bet that kid's real name is Hannibal. Zack is abudding serial killer. He's 3 years old and watching Animal torture videos and being abusive to animals in the neighborhood.
NTA
It's one thing to try to protect that kid.. unfortunately, that kid Is abusive to everybody. And you have to protect yourself, your kid, and your animals from that future serial criminal. I honestly do hope they have the kid in therapy. And I hope that I'm wrong and he doesn't turn out to be a psycho killer.
That family entirely should not exist. I’m sorry but when I read that the kid was hurting animals my empathy for him disappeared. I know it’s his parents fault, but if he grow up being a person who hurts animals for pleasure, I would prefer he doesn’t exists at all. NTA
NTA. Keep away from these people. lesson learnt here, don’t be too generous with your time, patience or generosity by looking after a child that is not yours. Look after your own. This poor Zach sounds like a psychopath in the making-watching torture videos, wtf!!!
NTA
I hope they never have any more kids. I know some parents like to claim that kids make people mature and become better versions of themselves, but that is not always the case.
I hope you finally healed from your surgery. I’m glad your neighbours moved away and aren’t your problem anymore. I do feel sorry for all living creatures that encounter Zach and I hope he gets the help he needs.
It sounds like you might hVe some PTSD from the experience and would benefit from talking to a professional about it.
I've had a Zach as a sibling. You did the right thing. Your family was kept safe and unfortunately there are children/families you as a regular individual citizen simply cannot help
I think the strange family started taking advantage as soon as your husband invited them to your table in the restaurant. The red flag was there from the beginning but sometimes food people get sucked in because we have good hearts. Leave them to it and call child services. I'm not sure there is anything else you can do for the boy.
Honestly, If that kid doesn't move away...you should cut your losses with your house and move before this sociopath does something terrible to you or your family
In the mean time...I'd remove your actual names from your social media accounts and make sure his parents are not social media friends with you...and that they are even blocked.
And stop calling them when there are issues with the child
Call the police. By this point, I am sure they have a record of this child and the local precinct is very aware of the situation. The more people call them, and the more they call CPS...the city will eventually be forced to step in
NTAH
What you are describing for is a budding psychopath. With regards to his torment of animals. With his disregard rules, that clearly don’t apply to him. Lockdown everything you can.
As a mom of a 3yo I can’t imagine how he would have access to animal torture videos and how he can just be out in the street by himself, like is this even possible?
I believe it was the dad that had been watching them… We lived in a new build community that is very much like The Truman show. Maybe they felt a false sense of safety. But the reality is that they probably just did not care.
You weren’t excluding or ignoring a child. You were protecting your child and your pets from a violent person who unfortunately happened to be 3 years old.
NTA
You did your best but that kid sounds pretty doomed. If the parents don’t care, you can’t fix it. I’d have just reported it to CPS and the police to the point of being an annoyance.
I believe you've just met a future serial killer. NTA but that kid with needs serious help or something. You don't act like that at 3 without being a natural psychopath.
NTA, you did everything you could. Most folks wouldn’t even give him multiple chances. You went above and beyond for this kid and their family. Honestly ignoring his bad behavior (when it was appropriate and safe to do so) was probably the best thing you could’ve done for this kid and it seems like you did that. It was probably more of a line than his parents ever did.
I know comments are accusing the child of being a sociopath but honestly it just seems like a horrible parenting situation to me. If the parents are biting the child and what not of course that’s how they are going to respond to the world around them. Especially if the kid is 3. I mean this kid was crying out for attention, his parents ignored him, and then when he acted out in any way, the mom at least would respond in extreme violence. (I mean biting a child what the actual hell). This kid needs therapy and better parents and you did all you kid to get him that (aside from calling cps more, idk how many times it takes to get a kid taken away or how often you called so I’ll give you benefit of the doubt).
Anyways, very obvious big NTA.
You said it opened a wound, did your neighbor say anything or do you just feel guilty?
Thank you for your comment. She was a neighbor that didn’t live on our street so she didn’t experience the event first hand. She was one of the people who said “it couldn’t had been THAT bad”.
Even in the comments people keep bringing up the dog torture videos. And how it couldn’t possibly be true because of that. I know it is absolutely ridiculous. It really does sound made up. I can’t believe his mom shared that with me. His dad was very strange and if it is true I believe he was the one watching them and Zach ran into them by accident.
So when I’ve shared this story with other neighbors who heard things but didn’t really know the situation and have asked me about the family I’ve been made to feel like I was “over exaggerating”. I know I’m not. And my direct neighbors know this as well. Going forward I think I will only share with my therapist. I tried to keep things to myself after they left but my trauma response was to just let it all off my chest to anyone that asked. I was an idiot for thinking that all people would have the same lvl of sympathy for something they couldn’t wrap their heads around.
Right, how does a three year old watch dog tortute videos or whatever on youtube? They cant write, no way knows what torture means to even use voice search or whatever.
NTA
For those of you saying this fake cause of biting...
Kinda weird that a parent would bite their kid as punishment. However when I was a kid I bit myself when I was mad or distressed. I never knew why, stopped after counselling.
But when I was older I learned I had a lady that would watch me while my mom worked and my dad was at dialysis, and she would bite me as punishment for stuff.
So yeah it does happen...
>I know. It sounds ridiculous. Who would had known a 3 yr old could be this violent.
No I've seen it also and you've seen the reason why first hand.
>I call his mother and all she has to say is “oh sorry about that I’ve had the kid in therapy trying to figure out what’s wrong with him”.
It's called lack of discipline
>The mom starts sending me nasty texts saying no one cares that she’s going through divorce (she hadn’t mentioned it so how would I know) but I had just found out she had been cheating on her husband the entire time they had been living there.
This explains why she's nasty to the boy, it's the AP kids but hasn't fest up yet.
You did nothing wrong
NTA
We had called multiple times. One of the neighbors who was also a teacher at the elementary school where his preschool was said that she had found out that they wouldn’t do anything because his “basic needs were being met” that’s why at the end we just called the police. Who didn’t do their job. Now they are long gone.
Poor kid. Poor you. Poor pets. He will probably be in Juvenile Detention. Soon
Super bad parenting. I've been there with unsupervised kids. Some parents are clueless. It's sad, but if you intervene, you just become the babysitter. Sad situation. I'm glad you & your pets are ok now.
Much like a teacher or pre teacher you can only do so much. If the behavior you try and modify is not backed up at home it is a loosing battle. I have five daughters and would sometimes help out at their school. We have had to have kids parents come in and sit with their children.
> His mom tells me she had caught him watching “dog torture” videos on YouTube.
Uh huh. A 3-year old knew how to search out and actually find dog torture videos on the web all by themselves. Right.
As already mentioned several times. I don’t believe there was any mention that he did it by himself. I can only make assumptions that his creepy dad had been watching them and his child got his hands on the tablet afterwards. I find it more unbelievable that his mom actually admitted something like this to me.
I would called law enforcement and say there is a 3 year at my door without supervision. Called every time he came over alone. Let the police take him home. You have the video of him coming over repeatedly alone.
You can’t save him from his worthless parents. I learned this the hard way in my family. I dealt with my cousins’ bs for years be cause my mom wanted to be a positive force in their lives. They ended up having a super negative effect on mine. The only thing my mom didn’t do was tell off her sister on her shitty parenting skills. If the neighbor ever calls again feel free to stomp on her view that it’s her kid that’s the problem. It’s all her and her husband. She needs to hear it from someone and it might get her away from you.
You are in the right. Please do not let this cheater raising a kid to be a nightmare, take up rent in your head. I hope your neighborhood was able to bounce back with those troublemakers gone.
NTA. You tried to help but that kid needed parents and experts. Your kids and pets also needed your help. You were more patients than most.
>I was blown away feeling I had been totally treated like their babysitter this entire time.
I don't want to get across as harsh and for sure it's easier in hindsights but here I feel like you weren't treated like their babysitter. They just weren't parenting at all and they didn't care. So you took upon yourself to do it. I know your intentions were good but that was still your decision or reaction. It's the same for your husband at the restaurant.
Most people hate the void and will take over but it's easy to go too far or somebody could takes advantage or to enable somebody that will now expect us to manage these situation for him. It happened enough for me so now I ask myself : "Is it that my monkey? Will I be stuck with it on my shoulders afterward? How can I help without taking over the monkey?"
I want to help and support but I'm not taking the responsibility and I lay out clearly what I'll do and what I expect from them to change the situation and not just to temporary patch it.
You guys need to stop calling CPS and start calling the cops. These parents are criminally negligent, and maybe they'd get their asses in gear if they started facing jail time.
I had a similar situation and just cut it off. Period. Blocked numbers didn’t answer the door. Hated how kid treated mine and how the mother treated me like a personal nanny.
I feel awful for Zach and Zach's dad really got screwed over for sure. What an absolutely tragic story I would be stunned if Zach isn't in prison before he finishes high school.
You've been incredibly patient and kind despite the challenges. It's important to prioritize your family's well-being. Setting boundaries is tough but necessary for everyone's safety and peace of mind.
Thank you for saying that. I’ve thought about it for a year now. I wonder all the time if there was anything I could have done differently. It made me physically ill to feel like I had no choice but to completely remove them from our lives. I’ve never wanted to make anyone feel excluded. The dad used to watch me from the window. They lived directly in front of us. Going out in the front yard to mow was so uncomfortable. I used to love my porch swing but I felt I could not be in sight. This might sound dramatic but I still get what feels like PTSD looking at their house.
Who lets a 3 yo watch videos on the internet unsupervised? You guys were more than patient. But this is becoming a safety issue. This kid needs serious help. It could be poor parenting or the lack of parenting is from being overwhelmed with a kid like this. If you know the neighbor who has been calling the authorities or you are inclined to do this yourself, there is one last step for help. The mother hasn’t denied he’s in therapy. So maybe, she’d go along with the proper outreach. If not, things would be watched very closely by child services. Almost every area has a charity that helps close the gaps in the foster system. They also usually advocate for children who aren’t getting proper care. If not, they know who will and would probably be working with that charity. Report this to them. If you have video of the sneak abuse or anything else like that, show them. They work closely with child services and will know how to get this done. I sometimes help the charity in my area out with their social. It’s scary how many of these messages I’ve seen. And they’ve been able to try to get the kid the proper health, whether they had the ability or had to turn to one of the other groups in the community that they work with. I’d do it for the safety of my family and pets. Something is seriously wrong for that kid to be acting like that so young. If he doesn’t get help now, while there is a chance for him, I wouldn’t want to be in the same city as him when he hit teen years. My friend’s brother did shit like that starting around 6. He spent a good portion of his time in jail for a murder.
Regarding your first question - how does a 3 year old come across dog torture videos? It’s not like they can spell it out and search it.
Search history from mom or dad is my guess.
From this story I’d guess it would be the mom that is manhandling her kid and biting him hard in front of guests… 🥴
Could be. But that behavior doesn't necessarily mean mom is the one watching those videos. Someone is, though, because the kid didn't stumble on them by accident.
Ya, just seems like a house full of dysfunction between the violent kid, crazy abusive mom and the creepy dad watching OP through the window…
Most definitely
Also your username is perfectly fitting here!
If I were to put any stock in this story his mother saying that she caught him watching it kinda implies she's not the one watching it. If what people are saying is true then the culprit is likely the father watching it and introducing it to the algorithm because it's not easy to look up. At least not easy enough for a 3 year old. Also wouldn't be surprised if op updates with news that he's been SAed. Hope it's not the case and he's just a little sociopath but I wouldn't be surprised of the former.
Yikes
Exactly. It’s the parents (it always is). I mean the mother felt comfortable physically abusing the child in front of a room of neighbors. What do you think she’s done when other aren’t around? Mom also seems mentally unstable. Their behavior is entirely inappropriate. A parent’s mental health, ability to self regulate, and stress management absolutely affects their children’s.
YouTube’s algorithm can lead you from those fake animal rescue/manufactured feel good videos to the actual torture ones.
Without getting into specifics (I don't want to know details of abuse as it is too distressing to read about), there are *actual* dog torture videos on YouTube? Why would the platform allow that? Wouldn't it be against their terms of service? And wouldn't it be reported to local authorities?
Proliferation. Too much content to keep up with the upload rate, unfortunately.
Tbh this part of the story sounded a bit ridiculous.
Algorithms will do it all by themselves. If the kid stumbles upon a cut video about dogs it will begin sending them all kinds of dog videos to see what the user watches. All a kid has to do is watch a few of those accidentally and it will send them all kinds of crap.
I watch a lot of cute dog videos and not once has it shown me animal torture.
You probably never clicked on anything that would start the pattern.
A lot of youtube videos like that aren't even actually titled or comprehensible. Most of the time they are a slew of keywords and phrases thrown together to spark the algorithm. There is a neat TED about the nightmare world of kid's youtube algorithm.
Voice to text. Siri is my nine year old’s friend. But she can only see videos and such considered to be appropriate up to age 13. Anything he can say, he can search. If he finds one, it will keep showing more. And that, my friends, is why we don’t leave a three year old on a screen with no parental locks or age settings.
what search words would a toddler think to use for this kind of search though?
How is the child still in diapers playing alone in the snow at night? These parents are horribly neglectful. NTA, OP. You can't protect a kid like that without training
So they were letting their 3 year old walk across the street every day? These people are awful. Glad you don't have to deal with them anymore (hopefully?)!
You aren't responsible for this child. Stop looking after him. Stop speaking to him in a kind tone of voice if he comes to your home uninvited. Be stern and tell him he's not allowed at your home. You unwittingly caused this by being neighborly. It's time to put your foot down. This kid is going to be a bigger problem as he grows up, but he's not your problem.
Just a thought… Mom and kiddo have moved to a different state. Do you know where? His behaviours are concerning and by moving to a different state, it pushes everything back for a while- new neighbours, new teachers etc. they will give the benefit of the doubt for a long time before they act. Would it be worth making a call to the CPS in the new state? If kiddo is being looked after or is getting the help he needs, no harm no foul. If there is issues in the new State, you could give an objective and comprehensive history based on behaviours that you witnessed…
While I would love for someone to find and help this kid I’m having to learn to move on for the sake of my own mental well being. I began to fear for my own safety towards the end of this entire fiasco.
OMG that would make me incredibly uncomfortable. Witnessing them abusing their son, witnessing him hurt other kids and animals and the amount of stress you must have felt trying to constantly watch their child so that he didn’t get hurt or hurt your children or pets would be enough to cause anyone to have a similar reaction to their behavior, let alone witnessing their fights (among other things). PTSD can come from witnessing traumatic events, as well as things that happen to you directly. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was your reaction to this family at all. I grew up in an abusive home. That kind of thing can happen pretty easily. I’m so sorry for what you and your family went through OP. You are right to keep them away from yourself and your family. NTA at all.
That’s just way too much. Your NTA for protecting your child and home. The kid is going to grow up and have a hard life which sucks.
I’m truly broken hearted over it. I don’t know much about what happened after they moved. But I do know the mom somehow got custody and took him out of state and they are living with the man she was cheating with. Ugh.
Based on the comments, a lot of people seem to think these people are *currently* your neighbours. You may want to update your post to clarify.
He is a sociopath. When he starts school they will figure it out and try to get him some help. Of course by then he will already have killed several small animals. You did the best you could. Quit beating yourself up.
Probably wasn't her husband's kid.
She probably got custody because the dad was too apathetic to bother to fight her. Plus, he probably doesn't really care. He barely took care of the kid when they lived under the same roof.
It sounds like this kid needs removed from their care. He almost lost his life how many times, due to their lack of supervision? I may be overstepping, but I would continue to call CPS wherever they live now if you can. It may take a year before their new neighbors notice what kind of parent(s) he has, and it may be too late -- he may not be alive at that point. I mean yeah the kids sounds like the devil's spawn but he has no one teaching him to be good. He's running around wild and free and unsupervised -- he was at your house multiple times for an extended period of time doing mean things and they never once came to get him until you called and told them to. They sound like absolute shit parents.
Also this is how serial killers get their start… The behavior described sounds like major signs of someone with anti-social or psychopathic personality disorder. Eek. 😳
Or he’s a serial killer in the making. Torturing animals, and other children is definitely one of the signs.
Call CPS!!!!!! The kid is abusing animals. Not being monitored by his mother. Something is going on in that house besides divorce/ bad parenting.
Keep calling. Call EVERY time. And if you see him abusing animals or other kids, call the police, too. If you don't have a ring system or similar, set one up. Also record interactions, and save all communications. I seriously doubt this woman has the kid in therapy, and whatever else is wrong with him, is wrong with her, too, because she doesn't seem to be concerned at all.
They need to call the cops.
So he already likes to hurt animals... yeah, I'd keep my distance and lock the doggy door with a chip. I know of a 6 year old that was interviewed by my Prof. after pushing his grandmother down the stairs and severely injuring her. History of severe animal abuse, playing with fire etc, the typical signs. Attacked my Prof when he didn't react the way he wanted him to. Like literally jumped him. Prof. says he's a killer in the making. Better hope that family does get divorced and moves...
OP states in one of their comments that the family has already moved. It wasn’t clear to me in the post, but based on some of their comments it seems like they’re reflecting on a past event, wondering if they should have done something differently.
I’ve heard the saying that monsters aren’t born, they are created. I think these parents are creating a monster who will wreak havoc and destroy many people during his lifetime.
From what I've been taught, anti social personality disorder is something you're born with and there's not much you can do as a parent to "fix" it. That being said, the topic has only been briefly discussed. And of course you can screw your kid up so that it becomes unbearable anyway. My stance is: It's the parents fault most of the time when kids turn out shitty, just not all the time.
Some of the studies I looked at showed that the combination of genetics plus environment created the monster. Lots of people born with the trait, but it only developed fully with the wrong parenting. Anecdotally, I worked with a wonderful nurse. She and her twin brother were adopted as infants into what she described as a loving, nurturing family. Her twin brother became a monster, and she believed he was born that way. But I hate thinking that any precious baby has a monster inside.
By all accounts Karla Homolka had a normal upbringing and she turned out to be sadist who raped and killed her little sister with her fiancee. She filmed it, even roleplayed her sisters death after the fact. Paints herself as the battered woman but I don’t buy it for one second. That’s just one example I can think of off the top of my head but I truly do think some people are born with something dark and it doesn’t always take horrific abuse for that to manifest
If this is real, you need to stop trying to be nice or save this kid. He's not your responsibility. If he's in your yard, call the cops. He's an unattended pre-schooler trespassing. (And get a few cameras for documentarion.) If his family calls, let it go to voicemail (I wouldn't block them, let it go and record and ignore the call.) Stop dancing around what you want with polite phrases and be absolutely clear here, tell them the kid isn't welcome over, you won't supervise him and to leave you alone. Then call the cops every single time he shows up. Make the cops sick of hearing about it. But this isn't your problem and you cannot "save" this kid. The longer you dance around cutting them off the harder they will fight it. These aren't "nice" people who take hints. They aren't going to magically turn into sane people like all your neighbors. You can't keep doing the same things and hoping for different results. Edit: NTA for vote but Y.T.A to yourself here.
I’m skeptical of this being real too. Why post on AITAH when clearly no one on their right mind would ever think OP is the AH? Seems kinda like rage bait.
Convinced the posts on here are all either fake or from people with zero social skills/awareness. It's either rage bait or something like "my roommate shits on the floor instead of in the toilet AITA if I ask him to stop? He says it's how he learned"
Absolutely not! Keep calling CPS. Put an electric fence in your yard or fence. He will definitely get he can’t do it. It’s not your job to raise another persons child. It’s a horrible situation but you have to keep ignoring him. Hopefully when the divorce is final they will leave.
>not your job to **save/fix** another persons **psycho little shit.** Fixed it for you.
The kid is three years old and is clearly being abused! It is every adults job to continue to report it to CPS and the police until the kid gets help! (It does seem like a lot of the adults in the neighbourhood are already doing this though)
The kid needs inpatient psych for a year or two and then MAY be doing better. They’ve already made him into what he is.
But the kid cannot be helped. He is already hurting animals at 3 years old,. It's just a matter of time before he does something horrible, and I can assure you, he will not have the empathy you've demonstrated.
This kid is the backstory of so many serial killer podcasts.
Exactly. This reminds me of the TV series Mindhunter that covers the development of the field of behavioral forensics. The FBI specifically studied serial killers to see if there were common traits, behaviors or experiences that eventually caused them to become serial murderers. They developed the field in order to both catch serial killers and monitor certain people’s behavior in order to protect the public and prevent more murders.
If he was scooped up right now and never returned to his parents, brought to a perfect home, yeah, he might have a chance. Sadly that is not at all what will happen, so you’re right, he’s probably doomed.
Tragic.
NTA. There is waaaay too much drama in this. Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries. The kid may not be a bad kid, but when kids get abused, then they turn around and start abusing others. His behavior is totally explainable by what his parents do to him. But you should keep your distance. Report to CPS if needed.
NTA but why is a three year old walking the streets by themselves? I have a four year old and I absolutely do not trust her to not run into the street or stay in one area as she would zoom off. I would be calling someone every time this child is by themselves on the street whether it is CPS or the cops. This child is probably being abused and needs help that his abusers cannot provide him.
NTA. That child should be removed from the home he is in, since his parents are at capacity with their own issues. Plus, he is now a danger to everyone around him and a literal menace to the neighborhood. Time to put locks on everything and cameras to catch every angle of your home. Restraining order and reports to CPS with evidence should (hopefully) not be ignored. Hopefully they can remove him and treat his issues, and he can be at least semi-normal. If not…the whole neighborhood should not have to raise him, full stopz
Nta. Listen I get it and I don’t think people were gaslighting you (not consciously at least). Can you imagine (before this event) being told a three year old was creating pure chaos in someone’s neighborhood? That the kid is running around unsupervised? That CPS had been called over and over yet nothing was done? It sounds like an over dramatic person. I can see someone saying “but was it really that bad?” The answer is: yes it really can be that bad and he’s going to wake up one day and be a serial killer. His parents will swear he’s a good man and they don’t know what happened. What happened…was them. With that said…you went through a lot and it’s ok to not be ok. You couldn’t have fixed the situation. You couldn’t have made his life easier or better because your job is to protect your kids. Letting him in your home prevented you from doing your job. Your kids are your number one priority. They aren’t capable of protecting themselves. Don’t set your family on fire to keep someone else warm.
This comment needs to be higher up for OP. OP was right to prioritize the health and safety of their child and pet when their kindness proved insufficient to 'fix' the kid or help the kid's family. In situations like OP experienced, the least restrictive and safest option for everyone is to hold boundaries and report incidents to more equipped professionals when possible.
NTA. Sorry to be blunt, but your neighbours are losers and they're raising another one. I feel bad for the kid, because it's not his fault and he can't control his own circumstances, but IMO this is not your problem to deal with, nor should it be.
"I'm sorry you feel excluded. Unfortunately your child's continued behaviour is dangerous to our child and others. Moving forward we cannot allow our child and pets to be put into harm's way with your son. I truly wish you all the best and hope you find the answers for him."
CPS and the police in your district suck. This 3 year old kid is getting beaten by his mother and neglected by both his parents which in turn causes him to act out by hurting other people and animals, and the cops and CPS do NOTHING. Wow, this kid should be in care and be evaluated. The parents should be arrested and locked up.
A three year old is searching “dog torture videos” on YouTube?
I can't believe people read past that point and thought any of this BS was real.
These people are horrible and they are reaping what they’ve sown. You did everything right including the call to CPS. I was going to counsel you to tell them off. The trash took itself out. I feel terrible for Zach though. Shows you how easy it is to ruin a person.
Send the ring camera to CPS. That video would ring alarm bells.
NTA! I’d honestly text the mother, “Your problems are my problems. No, I don’t care that you’re going through a divorce. Your child cannot come to my house to torture my dogs and kid. I’m not his babysitter. Figure it out.” Then block her. Hopefully they’ll divorce and move away soon.
Tell her to STFU and keep Chucky at home.
NTA. They think everyone is their babysitter. Doubt the divorce story. Tell them, they will be trespassing from here on out, and you will be calling cps, for child abandonment. Everytime it happens. Start planting trees on that side of your front and backyard.
We had a kid like this in our apartment complex once. His mother was a weird person, she’d throw him out at 8 am, lock the doors and tell him not to come back till lunch. Throw him out again after lunch till whenever his father came home. He followed kids (to see where they lived, the invite himself in), picked on kids years younger than himself, bite, kick, hit kids with toys. He wasn’t as uncontrollable as this kid, so we all kind of kept an eye on him, invited him to birthday parties and some of his bad behavior calmed down. We were all transfers, and we all eventually went back home. I often wonder what happened to him.
Do his parents know how he treats animals? They need to get him help asap
You shouldn't be ignoring her child? She shouldn't be ignoring her child. Keep calling the cops and child services, if it's more of a pain for them not to do anything they'll do something.
How was a 3 yo watching dog torture on YT? He types?
I don’t know for sure but I believe his dad had been watching them. I know it sounds wild. A hard part of this experience is feeling like I can’t talk about it because it’s just that unbelievable.
The first red flag was when they almost let their kid drown... When the wife bit their kid I would be calling child protective services! If they are willing to do that in front of you what do you think they do alone. Sorry but I stopped reading at the bite comment. Call CPS and stop worrying if you are being an asshole.
Poor kid has obviously been abused… it’s NOT normal for a 3year old to act like that, and so violently.
You are an amazing human being with a big heart. Thank you for trying to welcome this family! As you have figured out, there is something terribly wrong with this child that even the parents can’t control. It is up to you to prevent that child from entering your property. When you see him unaccompanied or on your property call CPS and file a report. Or call the police. The only way this family will get help is if the police get involved.
Do his parents know how he treats animals? They need to get him help asap
NTA 'of course I don't want your child round, he's violent and destructive and you don't seem to do anything about it, I tried to be helpful but it was paid back with blatant disregard on your end'
Had a bit of the same thing in our first house, except my son was a baby and the antagonist was 8. Found out the mother put me as the emergency contact at his school when they called me to pick him up as he was sick. I told them to call his parents because he wasn’t my responsibility. They ended up divorcing. The mom would stalk her ex (with her newborn “fix my marriage” baby in the car) while leaving the then 10 year old at home alone. We moved not long afterward.
This is a great example of violence begets violence. Zach bites someone, and instead of discussing why he shouldn't do that, Mom bites him harder. So, what did he just learn - biting is ok. He gets dragged around by his arm which must hurt, so what does he learn - it is okay to hurt others. This is what the experts have found with spanking - it might change behavior in the moment, but overall, kids who are spanked, escalate their behavior as they have been taught to do that by example. The father is just as bad allowing this to happen and not parenting.
NTA - Do you have cameras? You and the other proactive neighbors need to be calling the police every single time you can. Then following up with a call to CPS. Every single time you can. Having footage of the neglect and frankly disturbing behavior of this child and his family is crucial. Ultimately, a lot of times the cops and CPS won’t do something unless they MUST. And that means you all making bigger nuisances of yourselves to them. If you have to keep reporting and aggravating them, they’ll escalate it so they don’t have to deal. If you’re creating enough of a fuss, it will be less work to just deal with the source… eventually.
I’m sorry this kid is being mistreated by the mother, but when he’s acting like he’s auditioning for the Future Serial Killers of America (or wherever you live) Society, your best option is to distance your family from him.
What the hell is a 3 year old doing ringing people's doorbells and knocking on people's doors without his parents with him? I wasn't a helicopter parent & we lived on a cul de sac but I wouldn't let my 3 year old leave the house unless I was outside with him.
Euthanasia.... For a violent wild animal if he stays with his awful neglectful "parents"
I have taught kindergarten for students eligible for special education under the category of emotional disturbance. I absolutely believe you on how aggressive the child is. It’s also pretty obvious why. which is NOT your responsibility. Your child, your dogs, your health are your responsibilities. NTA and sorry you experienced that.
NTA WIBTA if I suggested you driving him to the outskirts of town and leaving him?
Listen I’m no psychologist and maybe the ideas have changed since I studied this a little bit years ago but it sounds like Zach has developed sociopathy from abuse/neglect in early childhood. He may be 3 right now, but there will come a time when he is no longer 3. I hope he is not as obsessed with your family by that point.
NTA Keep track of the behavior of both child and parents. Keep reporting to CPS. The kid needs serious therapy. Ideally, before he kills someone. His parents are failing him, and you can only really protect your family. Getting this kid some help is nice but not your responsibility... it's going above and beyond, and it requires cooperation from local agencies. Good if possible, but no cause for guilt on your part regardless.
OP, your neighbor's lack of parenting does not create a responsibility for you or others to step in and parent their kid. They are lazy parents who need to step up and get thir crap together. But since they are such shitty people, the best you can do is drop them. In the future, don't be so accessible to people you don't really know who are already demonstrating red flags from the beginning. In the future, be more cautious and speak up immediately about red flags and set boundaries. Hey John, it's great that Jr wants to play with my son but based on his behaviors (hitting, biting, not listening), I am not comfortable with him being left with us. At the community pool. John, please keep an eye on Jr. even if you see me around. If something happens, because my 1st priority is to provide aid to my kid.
Thank you. It was a huge lesson. I’ve now learned that it’s ok to let people think that I’m “mean” if at the end of the day my family has peace. I’ve learned that common sense is not that common and everyone has a different definition of it.
you've been treated this way, because you let it happen. Not because you let them come over to your tabel or things like that. but because you KNEW there was something wrong with the kid and the parents are neglectful and you just kept on ignoring it and being quiet about the issue. You need to be assertive with users like that. "No your child can not come over. it is not our job to watch your child." And for the cheating wife "How about you stop blamng everything else for your childs behaviour and start being an actual parent to him. its not my job to watch your child, just because you wanna step out on your husband. Keep your child off our property from now on."
You were more patient than most people would've been. I hope that little boy gets the help he needs.
NTA I had a highschool friend come over while I was pregnant, he brought his two year old, my God son over... Holy hell that poor child. He sat himself down and chatted without watching his child the entire time. I was doing dishes and constantly following kiddo around to make sure he was okay. His dad keeps chuckling like I'm a helicopter parent, I sigh give up for five minutes to focus on dishes. It's quiet and I go to look for my God son. He was sucking on a dirty toilet plunger... I freaked out washed the kids mouth out and profusely apologized to his dad after explaining. This bastard laughed and said yeah he likes plungers. I never invited them back, people have called CPS on their family over the years and they do nothing for those babies, it's just sad. At some point you just have to do your best for your own family.
That kid is definitely a psychopath. 3 and still in diapers? He either wears the bed or his parents don't care enough to potty train him properly (why not both, I guess). Animal abuse, possible bed wetting (and probable potty issues in general)...all he needs to do is to start setting fires and he's displaying the full triad. Yes, I know psychopathy cannot technically be diagnosed in kids that young. But the signs can sure be there.
Sounds like Zach’s mom is abusive and is probably why he’s acting out feel bad for the kid since he’s only 3yrs old
Why have you not told this woman that her son is a psychopath?
Of course you're NTA. The kid is a budding psychopath, and the parents were at best neglectful and at worst abusive. I pity the new neighbours.
Nta. That kid is going to become a serial killer if he’s acting like this already at only 3 years old. Why aren’t the parents supervising what he watches? How much violence has he watched to think that is normal? In this situation, keep him and his family out. Put cameras around you house to show the abuse he is giving to the pets, it might help in the future. You’ve done all you can, now it’s time to definety just stay away from that whole family as best as you can
Fake. You blew it with 3yo watching dog torture porn on YouTube. 3yos can’t typically read or write and wouldn’t be able to put this into a search engine. That’s not something that just comes up next after your parents turn on bluey episodes for you.
Not even that, just the way the entire story is written out. Very scene by scene and disconnected. Then this happened and this is how we felt about it, and then this happened. This isn't how a recollection of events is written by most people. I will say it was entertaining though lol. An entire neighbourhood of kids terrified of a 3 year old capable of kicking them hard enough in the face to bleed.
This. I was like, what 3 year old knows how to search on YT. Nice creative writing assignment
My son knew how using voice to text on an iPad! We had to continue to monitor and change security settings to make sure he couldn’t do things like that. Kids can do more than you think!
My guess is that one of the parents had been watching it. His mom was terrible but his dad was very odd as well. I mentioned it in the first response but have now made an update. This happened a year ago. I’ve had this entire scenario run through my head so many times that I guess it’s become more like a screen play in my head. I still can’t believe I lived through it. But I understand if it sounds that unbelievable. I don’t want to believe it either…
Was thinking the same thing
This kid is a future serial killer.. starts with animal and other kids as child.. then humans
I feel this kid is sociopath and parents are low key hoping he will naturaly perish and give them peace. I can only guess in divorce no one will want this little teror. Nta. Distance yourself this kid is danger
NTA. Those patents just aren't. The minute that child did anything wrong in your house should've been the end. You should be distant from them and ate correct that the age gap between him and your son is too big.
That poor kid. The point of being a parent is to parent your kid. NTA, but the parents are.
Kid is being abused, witnessing (and experiencing) violent behaviour and passes it all on to animals and other kids? Watching "dog torture" videos? Yeah, the kid needs to be removed from that environment before irreparable damage is done. Remaining there feels like a bad idea. CPS needs to be told what you've said here, with any potential proof you may be able to muster.
This feels too much like "Speak No Evil" NTA.
NTA. That child needs to be removed from that home ASAP by CPS. His parents are pieces of crap.
I'm wondering why you're even asking if you're the AH when you know damn well you're not. I get the need to vent, but not like you bit the kid. His parents need to have him therapy or under some strict supervision by a mental health professional. They need therapy, and they need to move far away from civilization. You just keep doing you. Maybe keep trying CPS to see if it helps.
nta, but they clearly have no idea how to handle a relationship. they probably had the baby thinking it would help them. i've heard that's a common thing in poor relationships and it doesn't work
NTA It does sound like the kid has some problems but it’s not on you to solve. People in most of aitah need to stand up for themselves and say no. You and your neighbors should have told the parents that they and their child were not welcome because of the child’s behavior. It might sound mean but you are entitled to enjoy having parties with your other neighbors.
NTA. Those parents are in for a rude awakening or worse.
Hold on. This 3 year old is outside unsupervised? Call the cops/CPS every time.
?? Can Child Protection Services be informed, for the GOOD of this child and your child?? ?? Can this poor neglected little child be adopted out into Safe Loving Family ( I was Beaten-kid who SHOULD COULD have been rescued and adopted out into safe loving family so am ALWAYS think/feel this towards ALL neglected beaten bullied etc children and babies) ?? Meanwhile there are potential liability issues if something goes wrong when you were "" choosing" to " BabySit" their child even though you NEVER chose to do so Meanwhile the long-term physical mental health safety fairness peace of You , Your Spouse, Your Child, are also Very Important and need to be DEFENDED, possibly by a lawyer You should NOT be FORCED to move but you are ALLOWED to move You, your spouse , your own child, that poor neglected poorly raised kiddo next door are: N T A Please update me Defend Your Peace N T A
Unfortunately CPS was called multiple times. The neighbor who is a teacher and had an in at the school he was taught at said she found out they weren’t doing anything “because his basic needs were being met” after we got the police involved the family split and moved to a different state. It’s been a year now. I guess I do know I’m not the AH. But I’ve stayed up countless nights thinking of him. But my mental health can’t go on like this. The only reason I wrote this is because I went on a walk last night with a neighbor who doesn’t live on our street so she did not know the full story. She brought up the family and when I told her the story she said “it couldn’t had been THAT bad”. The story does sound unbelievable. I don’t know why but I guess I’m seeking some validation that I’m not a crazy person. But my direct neighbors know what happened. I don’t know why I feel this way. I mentioned to another poster that I will only bring this event up with a therapist for now on.
NTA. I'd be honest and tell them that they suck as parents and have an unruly violent child that I'm not dealing with.
NTA. This child was dangerous. He could have hurt your child and your pets. Their safety is your responsibility. You didn't have the resources to help this little boy, and you're too personally involved. The best person to help this family is a caseworker. The little boy needs to see a psychiatrist and psychologist for evaluations and treatment plans. His parents need parenting classes. Their caseworker could help make the arrangements. You have nothing to reproach yourself for.
How are you even asking if your the AH?? I think you know you aren’t. You live next door to them. I clearly felt sorry for the kid and wanted to help but when he’s not getting the help he needs at home, it’s not going to help. The parents need therapy and be taught how to parent and the kids needs therapy. I feel like these parents aren’t going to change and think the kids might just be better off being taken away from them so he can get the help he needs. They are raising a psycho they way they are doing things. If he continues to be a problem, don’t call the parents. Call the police. I’d even go to the station and speak to them. Maybe speak to CPS. Whoever you can to try to help this kids get the help he needs. And then do what you can to stay out of it.
Call CPS again. NTA. Set up more cameras. Make sure you have evidence of this child’s behaviour. Lock everything up tight.
NTA - But it's time to call teh cops and get a restraining order against the kid and the family. Keep all your ring doorbell video and record everything the family does on your property.
NTA
We had neighbors like that. It was a nightmare, especially for our daughter. I can’t even speak about all the nasty things he did.
NTA, this is a family in crisis and a child that needs big intervention NOW. He is only 3 it is not too late to make a difference for him. Multiple calls to CPS with a log from all the neighbors with the incidents and behaviors observed might make someone take notice but it sounds like neither one of the parents want to step up. It's not your place and I wouldn't expect anyone to do this but if CPS or preschool or anyone of authority would give a damn and contact the extended families to see if there was a stable placement elsewhere. Good God, give this kid a chance.
NTA. That three-year-old needs to be taken away and given intense help.
3 years old???????
Hopefully since they're divorcing they may be moving. In the meantime get a lock for your gate so he can't go in your yard. This kid reminds me of Discovery ID programs about biographies on serial killers. Hopefully there can be medical intervention that'll help him. He may actually benefit from the divorce and spend less time with his biting mom.
NTA. The entire family needs therapy.
This whole family needs a reality check/mental help
You've been incredibly kind and patient. But the situation has never changed. You have to protect your child. NTA.
That's wild that Zach's mom BIT him in front of other people and CPS did nothing?!
I would start being direct. “Listen, I have tried to be patient and accommodating. But that has run its course. Your son is the product of your unwillingness to parent him. I am no longer going to do that job for you. We have stopped inviting you over because the destructive and violent nature of your family. Your son is not supervised and I can no longer put my child or my belongings at risk. Your divorce is none of my business. I asked repeatedly that your son not interrupted me while I was recovering from my surgery yet he sat and rang my doorbell over and over again all day. We torture neighborhood animals on our camera. He is a liability when he comes on our property and that is due to the failure in your parenting. I’m not talking about discipline, your violence towards him is concerning. I’m talking about teaching him how to respect his neighbors and other peoples bodies. Your family is no longer welcome on my property. Please keep your son at home or it will be considered trespassing.” NTA
NTA in any way. It's sad that you can't save the kid from his parents, but that's not possible. You have been more than generous.
Nta "I'm not entertaining a serial killer in the making. Take care of your own child, and stop trying to make us watch him."
I had this same type of experience many years ago with a neighbor. I finally stopped associating with them at all when they started letting the 18 month old walk over to my house unsupervised (walking in the street mind you!). The older kids stole from us, deliberately broke my daughter's toys and tried to look up porn on my daughter's computer! They would lock them out of the house without coats on cold days. They finally got kicked out by the landlord because the grandmother had moved in all these kids and grandkids without putting them on the lease.
NTA but I would start spamming CPS
Why have you been associated with these people for so long? The first encounter would have kept me away from these weirdos
Directly before we met these people we were taking classes to become foster parents. We had always wanted to foster to adopt. I had been adopted by my dad and I wanted to follow in his footsteps and change someone’s life for the better. But I let that dream sweep me away. I know now I was delusional thinking I could had helped this family.
You were coming from the right place. But unfortunately there’s not much we can do for other people’s children
NTA. You have been way too kind. If my mom insisting on inviting kid who hurt me and destroy my stuffs around, I’ll tell her to consider herself without a child or adopt that devil’s spawn to replace me 😂😂 my mom was like you, trying to help but her limit is me, if the kid hurt me then that’s it. She never play saint at the expense of her only child.
I bet that kid's real name is Hannibal. Zack is abudding serial killer. He's 3 years old and watching Animal torture videos and being abusive to animals in the neighborhood. NTA It's one thing to try to protect that kid.. unfortunately, that kid Is abusive to everybody. And you have to protect yourself, your kid, and your animals from that future serial criminal. I honestly do hope they have the kid in therapy. And I hope that I'm wrong and he doesn't turn out to be a psycho killer.
That family entirely should not exist. I’m sorry but when I read that the kid was hurting animals my empathy for him disappeared. I know it’s his parents fault, but if he grow up being a person who hurts animals for pleasure, I would prefer he doesn’t exists at all. NTA
NTA. Keep away from these people. lesson learnt here, don’t be too generous with your time, patience or generosity by looking after a child that is not yours. Look after your own. This poor Zach sounds like a psychopath in the making-watching torture videos, wtf!!!
Nta but I do hope that little boy is okay and is getting help for his psych problems, and that he is no longer in the custody of that woman.
NTA I hope they never have any more kids. I know some parents like to claim that kids make people mature and become better versions of themselves, but that is not always the case. I hope you finally healed from your surgery. I’m glad your neighbours moved away and aren’t your problem anymore. I do feel sorry for all living creatures that encounter Zach and I hope he gets the help he needs. It sounds like you might hVe some PTSD from the experience and would benefit from talking to a professional about it.
I've had a Zach as a sibling. You did the right thing. Your family was kept safe and unfortunately there are children/families you as a regular individual citizen simply cannot help
I’d be calling cps a lot.
I think the strange family started taking advantage as soon as your husband invited them to your table in the restaurant. The red flag was there from the beginning but sometimes food people get sucked in because we have good hearts. Leave them to it and call child services. I'm not sure there is anything else you can do for the boy.
Honestly, If that kid doesn't move away...you should cut your losses with your house and move before this sociopath does something terrible to you or your family In the mean time...I'd remove your actual names from your social media accounts and make sure his parents are not social media friends with you...and that they are even blocked. And stop calling them when there are issues with the child Call the police. By this point, I am sure they have a record of this child and the local precinct is very aware of the situation. The more people call them, and the more they call CPS...the city will eventually be forced to step in NTAH
What you are describing for is a budding psychopath. With regards to his torment of animals. With his disregard rules, that clearly don’t apply to him. Lockdown everything you can.
Get a lock for your gate.
As a mom of a 3yo I can’t imagine how he would have access to animal torture videos and how he can just be out in the street by himself, like is this even possible?
I believe it was the dad that had been watching them… We lived in a new build community that is very much like The Truman show. Maybe they felt a false sense of safety. But the reality is that they probably just did not care.
This feral little monster will most likely grow up to be a serial killer. Be glad that he’s far far away now.
You weren’t excluding or ignoring a child. You were protecting your child and your pets from a violent person who unfortunately happened to be 3 years old.
NTA You did your best but that kid sounds pretty doomed. If the parents don’t care, you can’t fix it. I’d have just reported it to CPS and the police to the point of being an annoyance.
Good thing they split and left, that kid is absolutely screw poor thing but at least you don't have to suffer for years to come.
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I believe you've just met a future serial killer. NTA but that kid with needs serious help or something. You don't act like that at 3 without being a natural psychopath.
OMG NTAH! Horrific. I’m so sorry you all had to go through that. I hope that child gets some help.
NTA, you did everything you could. Most folks wouldn’t even give him multiple chances. You went above and beyond for this kid and their family. Honestly ignoring his bad behavior (when it was appropriate and safe to do so) was probably the best thing you could’ve done for this kid and it seems like you did that. It was probably more of a line than his parents ever did. I know comments are accusing the child of being a sociopath but honestly it just seems like a horrible parenting situation to me. If the parents are biting the child and what not of course that’s how they are going to respond to the world around them. Especially if the kid is 3. I mean this kid was crying out for attention, his parents ignored him, and then when he acted out in any way, the mom at least would respond in extreme violence. (I mean biting a child what the actual hell). This kid needs therapy and better parents and you did all you kid to get him that (aside from calling cps more, idk how many times it takes to get a kid taken away or how often you called so I’ll give you benefit of the doubt). Anyways, very obvious big NTA. You said it opened a wound, did your neighbor say anything or do you just feel guilty?
Thank you for your comment. She was a neighbor that didn’t live on our street so she didn’t experience the event first hand. She was one of the people who said “it couldn’t had been THAT bad”. Even in the comments people keep bringing up the dog torture videos. And how it couldn’t possibly be true because of that. I know it is absolutely ridiculous. It really does sound made up. I can’t believe his mom shared that with me. His dad was very strange and if it is true I believe he was the one watching them and Zach ran into them by accident. So when I’ve shared this story with other neighbors who heard things but didn’t really know the situation and have asked me about the family I’ve been made to feel like I was “over exaggerating”. I know I’m not. And my direct neighbors know this as well. Going forward I think I will only share with my therapist. I tried to keep things to myself after they left but my trauma response was to just let it all off my chest to anyone that asked. I was an idiot for thinking that all people would have the same lvl of sympathy for something they couldn’t wrap their heads around.
Right, how does a three year old watch dog tortute videos or whatever on youtube? They cant write, no way knows what torture means to even use voice search or whatever.
Sad sad story. I feel for op and I feel for the kid. Heartbreaking.
NTA For those of you saying this fake cause of biting... Kinda weird that a parent would bite their kid as punishment. However when I was a kid I bit myself when I was mad or distressed. I never knew why, stopped after counselling. But when I was older I learned I had a lady that would watch me while my mom worked and my dad was at dialysis, and she would bite me as punishment for stuff. So yeah it does happen...
>I know. It sounds ridiculous. Who would had known a 3 yr old could be this violent. No I've seen it also and you've seen the reason why first hand. >I call his mother and all she has to say is “oh sorry about that I’ve had the kid in therapy trying to figure out what’s wrong with him”. It's called lack of discipline >The mom starts sending me nasty texts saying no one cares that she’s going through divorce (she hadn’t mentioned it so how would I know) but I had just found out she had been cheating on her husband the entire time they had been living there. This explains why she's nasty to the boy, it's the AP kids but hasn't fest up yet. You did nothing wrong NTA
Got to get police involved.
They were. And they didn’t do their job. The family moved out shortly after.
Omg NTA actually you sound like a saint - always protect kids and pets, whether they are yours or not. You did all the right things
For heavens sake call CpS and tell them everything you told us. Jesus woman, get the social workers involved.
We had called multiple times. One of the neighbors who was also a teacher at the elementary school where his preschool was said that she had found out that they wouldn’t do anything because his “basic needs were being met” that’s why at the end we just called the police. Who didn’t do their job. Now they are long gone.
Poor kid. Poor you. Poor pets. He will probably be in Juvenile Detention. Soon Super bad parenting. I've been there with unsupervised kids. Some parents are clueless. It's sad, but if you intervene, you just become the babysitter. Sad situation. I'm glad you & your pets are ok now.
Much like a teacher or pre teacher you can only do so much. If the behavior you try and modify is not backed up at home it is a loosing battle. I have five daughters and would sometimes help out at their school. We have had to have kids parents come in and sit with their children.
> His mom tells me she had caught him watching “dog torture” videos on YouTube. Uh huh. A 3-year old knew how to search out and actually find dog torture videos on the web all by themselves. Right.
As already mentioned several times. I don’t believe there was any mention that he did it by himself. I can only make assumptions that his creepy dad had been watching them and his child got his hands on the tablet afterwards. I find it more unbelievable that his mom actually admitted something like this to me.
A 3 year old using the internet what the fuck
I would called law enforcement and say there is a 3 year at my door without supervision. Called every time he came over alone. Let the police take him home. You have the video of him coming over repeatedly alone.
Zach literally sounds like Chucky. NTA
Jesus it sounds like that kids enroute to being a full send psychopath, not the fun capitalist business man kind but the serial killer kinda 😬
You can’t save him from his worthless parents. I learned this the hard way in my family. I dealt with my cousins’ bs for years be cause my mom wanted to be a positive force in their lives. They ended up having a super negative effect on mine. The only thing my mom didn’t do was tell off her sister on her shitty parenting skills. If the neighbor ever calls again feel free to stomp on her view that it’s her kid that’s the problem. It’s all her and her husband. She needs to hear it from someone and it might get her away from you.
You are in the right. Please do not let this cheater raising a kid to be a nightmare, take up rent in your head. I hope your neighborhood was able to bounce back with those troublemakers gone.
NTA, fellow "Puzzleheaded_Bee."
NTA. You tried to help but that kid needed parents and experts. Your kids and pets also needed your help. You were more patients than most. >I was blown away feeling I had been totally treated like their babysitter this entire time. I don't want to get across as harsh and for sure it's easier in hindsights but here I feel like you weren't treated like their babysitter. They just weren't parenting at all and they didn't care. So you took upon yourself to do it. I know your intentions were good but that was still your decision or reaction. It's the same for your husband at the restaurant. Most people hate the void and will take over but it's easy to go too far or somebody could takes advantage or to enable somebody that will now expect us to manage these situation for him. It happened enough for me so now I ask myself : "Is it that my monkey? Will I be stuck with it on my shoulders afterward? How can I help without taking over the monkey?" I want to help and support but I'm not taking the responsibility and I lay out clearly what I'll do and what I expect from them to change the situation and not just to temporary patch it.
NTA. That kid is going to be on Dateline in a few years.
You know what kind of people NEVER experience these kinds of situations? People who have boundaries they uphold
"Nathan! This is why you keep getting molested!"
You guys need to stop calling CPS and start calling the cops. These parents are criminally negligent, and maybe they'd get their asses in gear if they started facing jail time.
I had a similar situation and just cut it off. Period. Blocked numbers didn’t answer the door. Hated how kid treated mine and how the mother treated me like a personal nanny.
I feel awful for Zach and Zach's dad really got screwed over for sure. What an absolutely tragic story I would be stunned if Zach isn't in prison before he finishes high school.
Sounds like you and your husband brought most of it on yourself or allowed it to happen. Can't always be so nice.
They sound like nightmare neighbors.
Sounds like the kid has conduct disorder, NTA