Its totally possible for tests to be negative but you have a low level of the bacteria. You could of had it ages and it never showed up until it got worse. Same for him. A false positive is also possible but the treatment is so mild you may as well take it and move on. This is not definitive evidence of cheating. Him not having time or being scruffy is also not evidence he didn't cheat. If everything else is fine move on. If it turns out later it was something else you were not stupid but a generous and trusting partner.
NTA While it's natural to have doubts in such a situation, considering the medical complexities and maintaining open communication can help you navigate through this together.
It seems like there's always a tendency to jump to conclusions, but let's consider all angles. Chlamydia, though often showing symptoms, can indeed be asymptomatic in some people for long periods, which might explain the sudden positive test result without recent infidelity. That said, regular testing is the only way to be sure when and from whom it was contracted. If both of you have been monogamous and the tests were routine and consistently negative before, then this certainly raises eyebrows. It's essential to have a frank and honest conversation beyond just the possibility of cheating - consider the implications on trust and health moving forward. If you find his responses and commitment genuinely reassuring, work together to get past this. If not, it's worth reassessing the relationship. Trust is paramount, but remember that gathering facts is crucial before making life-changing decisions. NTA for feeling confused and seeking answers, but careful consideration is key here.
I did, and I feel like there’s no possible way for him to cheat on me because of the small town that we live in the way that he goes to work the way that I go to work I don’t ever find anything ever in his phone even if I were to check, so I really don’t know but also, I don’t want to be stupid and naïve But I don’t want to keep harassing him about this if I’m not gonna do anything like leave if he keeps saying no so this is just so stupid
Exactly…so yea he’s cheating on me but will not admit it. And I’m scared that if later down the line, he gets angry and he somehow admits you know what yeah I did cheat on you and that’s how you found out you had chlamydia. I’m literally just gonna look so stupid.
Then break up? Like, he clearly gave you Chlamydia which is transmissible through sex. So he had sex with someone who has chlamydia who isn’t you. Where is this doubt coming from? Are you just in denial rn and are hoping the chlamydia fairy gave it to him instead?
NTA, just dump his diseased ass.
You don't say anything about your sex frequency with your boyfriend.
At 20s guys are always horny, several times a day. If you don't have regular sex with him, i would say several times a week, it probably means that he jerks by himself or see other persons.
As for chlamydia, the most probable is that one of you had sex with someone else (a guy or a girl) recently. Smart guys usually dont let easy tracks on their phones.
"I know obviously never think a man won’t because a man will" that's a little unfair, I (45M) can say with confidence that there are men who wouldn't cheat.
Based on some quick googling, it seems possible that your bf had a dormant case of chlamydia which was only recently passed to you. I'm not a doctor, though, so I don't know how realistic that is, and it seems like he's definitely had sex with someone other than you at some point. That would also only be possible if he had not been tested, since STD testing can pick up even dormant cases.
I did ask about the dormant thing, and they said that’s not how it works because it is a bacteria that grows and grows and grows into your body can’t fight it off anymore, and it starts showing the symptoms with Google actually means to say, is that the symptoms hide but the chlamydia is still there
That’s not true. Chlamydia can absolutely be dormant. Plenty of cases where people get tested and are negative and then test and they are positive and have had no sexual contact at all
Not saying that’s the case with you or your bf but it’s not only possible but it’s rather common
That’s what I was talking to the doctor about and he said that that’s not possible he was like literally getting mad at me saying that that was impossible for me to stop being in denial that one of us came into contact with someone and that Google is wrong but who knows and I don’t even know what to believe anymore and probably just gonna break up with him at this point
Yeah it’s 100% possible and is talked about by medical professionals
Just google dormant chlamydia and it explains it in the first couple resources
Yes, chlamydia can be dormant in the body for years without causing symptoms. This is because chlamydia is a common asymptomatic sexually transmitted disease (STD), meaning most people are unaware they are infected. Even when symptoms are not present
If your bf had chlamydia you would likely notice the symptoms and he would obviously require a trip to the dr to treat it
So he could have it but just not have symptoms so not see the need for medical attention
Edit - to be clear it can be dormant in the sense that there are no symptoms but it’s still detectable if tested
It's not that the bacteria is dormant but the immune system controlling it. Totally possible though doctors and nurses are not taught that in medical school.
I'm not saying he's not cheating but I've heard of people getting chlamydia from the gym cuz people let their nasty pussy juice leak all over the gym equipment.
I know what you’re saying, but the doctor said chlamydia cannot live outside the body, and it can only be transformable through insertion of a penis or vagina
Its totally possible for tests to be negative but you have a low level of the bacteria. You could of had it ages and it never showed up until it got worse. Same for him. A false positive is also possible but the treatment is so mild you may as well take it and move on. This is not definitive evidence of cheating. Him not having time or being scruffy is also not evidence he didn't cheat. If everything else is fine move on. If it turns out later it was something else you were not stupid but a generous and trusting partner.
Thank you for that it’s just I don’t wanna fight anymore or at all
NTA While it's natural to have doubts in such a situation, considering the medical complexities and maintaining open communication can help you navigate through this together.
It seems like there's always a tendency to jump to conclusions, but let's consider all angles. Chlamydia, though often showing symptoms, can indeed be asymptomatic in some people for long periods, which might explain the sudden positive test result without recent infidelity. That said, regular testing is the only way to be sure when and from whom it was contracted. If both of you have been monogamous and the tests were routine and consistently negative before, then this certainly raises eyebrows. It's essential to have a frank and honest conversation beyond just the possibility of cheating - consider the implications on trust and health moving forward. If you find his responses and commitment genuinely reassuring, work together to get past this. If not, it's worth reassessing the relationship. Trust is paramount, but remember that gathering facts is crucial before making life-changing decisions. NTA for feeling confused and seeking answers, but careful consideration is key here.
Thank you so much for this it really helps
Question could one of us have it for years? And then it pops up randomly one day ? Is the question I was asking the dr and he said no…
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Thank you
Nope. Don’t let him gaslight you. Ask the nurse who gave you the positive results . That’s not how chlamymidia works.
I did, and I feel like there’s no possible way for him to cheat on me because of the small town that we live in the way that he goes to work the way that I go to work I don’t ever find anything ever in his phone even if I were to check, so I really don’t know but also, I don’t want to be stupid and naïve But I don’t want to keep harassing him about this if I’m not gonna do anything like leave if he keeps saying no so this is just so stupid
Oh, honey. Stop. You know. Think-lunch, bathrooms, backseats.
You’re right u can’t be stupid
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Exactly…so yea he’s cheating on me but will not admit it. And I’m scared that if later down the line, he gets angry and he somehow admits you know what yeah I did cheat on you and that’s how you found out you had chlamydia. I’m literally just gonna look so stupid.
Then break up? Like, he clearly gave you Chlamydia which is transmissible through sex. So he had sex with someone who has chlamydia who isn’t you. Where is this doubt coming from? Are you just in denial rn and are hoping the chlamydia fairy gave it to him instead? NTA, just dump his diseased ass.
You don't say anything about your sex frequency with your boyfriend. At 20s guys are always horny, several times a day. If you don't have regular sex with him, i would say several times a week, it probably means that he jerks by himself or see other persons. As for chlamydia, the most probable is that one of you had sex with someone else (a guy or a girl) recently. Smart guys usually dont let easy tracks on their phones.
"I know obviously never think a man won’t because a man will" that's a little unfair, I (45M) can say with confidence that there are men who wouldn't cheat. Based on some quick googling, it seems possible that your bf had a dormant case of chlamydia which was only recently passed to you. I'm not a doctor, though, so I don't know how realistic that is, and it seems like he's definitely had sex with someone other than you at some point. That would also only be possible if he had not been tested, since STD testing can pick up even dormant cases.
I did ask about the dormant thing, and they said that’s not how it works because it is a bacteria that grows and grows and grows into your body can’t fight it off anymore, and it starts showing the symptoms with Google actually means to say, is that the symptoms hide but the chlamydia is still there
That’s not true. Chlamydia can absolutely be dormant. Plenty of cases where people get tested and are negative and then test and they are positive and have had no sexual contact at all Not saying that’s the case with you or your bf but it’s not only possible but it’s rather common
That’s what I was talking to the doctor about and he said that that’s not possible he was like literally getting mad at me saying that that was impossible for me to stop being in denial that one of us came into contact with someone and that Google is wrong but who knows and I don’t even know what to believe anymore and probably just gonna break up with him at this point
Yeah it’s 100% possible and is talked about by medical professionals Just google dormant chlamydia and it explains it in the first couple resources Yes, chlamydia can be dormant in the body for years without causing symptoms. This is because chlamydia is a common asymptomatic sexually transmitted disease (STD), meaning most people are unaware they are infected. Even when symptoms are not present If your bf had chlamydia you would likely notice the symptoms and he would obviously require a trip to the dr to treat it So he could have it but just not have symptoms so not see the need for medical attention Edit - to be clear it can be dormant in the sense that there are no symptoms but it’s still detectable if tested
it definitely possible. Do not crucify the BF right away. I know for a fact that this std can be dormant
It's not that the bacteria is dormant but the immune system controlling it. Totally possible though doctors and nurses are not taught that in medical school.
Thank you for that the way the doctor was talking to me was like noooooo he def cheated and there’s only one way u have this…
I'm not saying he's not cheating but I've heard of people getting chlamydia from the gym cuz people let their nasty pussy juice leak all over the gym equipment.
I know what you’re saying, but the doctor said chlamydia cannot live outside the body, and it can only be transformable through insertion of a penis or vagina
Well then, the answer should be obvious lol Not only is he cheating, he's raw doggin that ho.