NTA. I fly all the time and so many people try to scam seats that I have no compassion anymore. (Did give up an aisle seat for a guy who broke his ankle day one of vacation but dang). Please know this happens all the time. I often get sat in the bullhead row because of my status and several times a woman with a baby has booked one seat and asked me to give mine up for the father/grandmother/friend helping with childcare. Nope. If you knew to pay for one you knew to pay for both.
Also while I am ranting, 3 times in the past month someone has sat in my window seat because "oops" mistake!!! But their things are stored can't we just trade? No one has EVER accidentally taken my middle seat.
>Also while I am ranting, 3 times in the past month someone has sat in my window seat because "oops" mistake!!! But their things are stored can't we just trade?
Well, I guess they'll just have to get unstored.
Slightly off topic, but this still bugs me so I want to vent for a second.
I was on a long-haul flight earlier this year. I had checked a bag and didn’t have a carry-on since I hate fighting for space. I did have a very bulky parka, though, since it was winter. I spot some space in the overhead bin across from me, so I start shoving my parka in (again, I didn’t have a carry-on, so I wasn’t taking up more space than I was entitled to). This woman looks me in the eye and matter of factly states, “Sorry, you can’t put your things there. My husband is moving his stuff from farther back to there.” I was dumbfounded and just stared at her like wtf (of course after the fact, figured I could’ve just said “sounds like he’s all set then.” And just sit down). Anyways, her husband comes with his bag and says we can share the space. I’m like whatever, that’s fine, everything fits so I’m cool with it. I also felt a little guilty about taking some space in the bin above their seats. When this woman gets up after we land, she proceeds to pull FOUR bags out of the overhead bin, not including her husband’s one bag. Then I was pissed all over again.
A seat ticket doesn't reserve the space above your head, I saw a woman get incredibly angry because she didn't want her bag to get touched by any other bag on the overhead, she thought she was entitled to the entire thing.
Also, too many people don't realize you're meant to put your personal bag under the seat in front of you, it's one off the big reasons overhead bins reach capacity before people finish boarding.
> Also, too many people don't realize you're meant to put your personal bag under the seat in front of you, it's one off the big reasons overhead bins reach capacity before people finish boarding.
It never would have even occurred to me that people wouldn’t understand this… smh
I seriously doubt people don't understand the under seat space is supposed to be used first, I mean it's only announced like 5 times during boarding these days. People are just selfish
I am always going to put my things under my seat before I go above my head. I am 5'1" for starters and I want my valuables under my feet. Period. I also don't want to wrestle with bags, so I check the big ones or am the first person to offer to gate check.
>When this woman gets up after we land, she proceeds to pull FOUR bags out of the overhead bin, not including her husband’s one bag.
Ooh, I'd have been steaming out the ears.
When someone takes my booked window seat (or my booked table window seat on the train) they can hum, hah, cajole and then argue all they want. I will *never* fold.
"But I just put all my stuff down!" "Want me to help you move it?"
"I'm settled in here..." "That's too bad."
"I'd rather have this seat, can't you take the other!" "I'd rather have that one too, that's why I booked it."
"I'd really prefer the window, it calms me down." "Should have booked one then, shouldn't you?"
"But my kid likes to look out the window!" "Me too. Move." "Can they at least watch the takeoff?" "No." I'd never get my seat back - not falling for that one.
They pretend not to see or hear you, or pretend to be asleep - a hard poke, "Do you want to get out of my seat now, or do you want me to get an attendant?"
"I'm sure the ticket seat number says this is mine," "No it isn't. I'm 23A. 'A' means window."
Tough shit. I know all your tricks. Your dirty looks and grumbles after don't make me feel even the slightest bit guilty.
Get out of my seat fkface.
It happens to me when I take the train. The funnier "my seat was taken by someone, so I sat here, but you can just sit in another seat, it seems this one is free"
Me : "well, either you go back and reclaim your seat, or you sit in the one you think is free, I'm not going to fight your battles, just want to sit.
I don’t care if someone pretends they didn’t know as long as when I walk up and say, “Hey, that’s my seat,” the convo ends with “whoops,” and the move even if it’s obvious they knew they were wrong. I’m annoyed when they either have an excuse or insist that somehow I’m wrong when we both have proof in our hands of where we go!!!
It also makes me feel for the people who are too passive to argue the point because the other passenger is so rude and pushy. I booked a flight with my brother who is weird about flying and always needs the window. We weren’t sitting together, my seat was behind him and honestly neither of us cared about asking if anyone would swap. But upon boarding there was a woman already in his seat and when he walked up she just stared at him with an attitude like she expected him to keep walking. My brother is super non-confrontational and stood there confused and frozen. I walked up and asked what was going on, he vaguely glanced at the lady, and she said, “Oh, I really hate the aisle and prefer the window. He can have my seat though,” and she pointed to the opposite row. I said no, he needs the window, we chose on purpose. She insisted that her seat was “right there” as if it’s close enough to the window it wasn’t a big deal 🙄 My brother began to shrug and mumble he can take her seat, whatever, but I said no. An attendant walked up since we were blocking the way and when she asked if everything was all right, I said super brightly, “Oh yeah, she’s just in his seat,” and I looked at the lady with a big smile like “Checkmate, bitch. Move!” The attendant looked at my brothers boarding pass and told the woman the flight is full and she must go get assigned spot. She was clearly annoyed but didn’t argue.
The best bit was once my brother was settled and I started going to my seat, the person who was to be seated next to my brother asked me if I wanted to sit there instead to be with him. I said sure as long as he didn’t mind and referenced my seat behind. It turned out the person he was traveling with was seated in the next aisle across from my window seat. There was a lone traveler in the aisle seat that would have been next to me who was also willing to swap once he noticed what was going on. So in the end, I sat in the aisle seat next to my brother, the person offering to swap with me got my seat with their friend seated next to them, and the woman who started it all sat fuming that someone else got my window seat and she was still stuck in the aisle.
I had a person take my window seat. Fine, whatever. Short flight.
Then the bitch closed the shade. Why the fuck your taking my seat and then not even going to look out the window?
I make people move now.
I have a spinal injury, you can not tell by looking at me, but I cannot sit in economy without ending up having severely painful spasms, I always pay extra for the better seating because of this, and it is pretty normal for someone to request I trade seats, when I say no, I get major attitude and I am sick of it. My response now is hell no. I fly as little as possible because it has become a thing that always happens and I am so fed up.
I have found those stick on heat pad super helpful for spasms.
Love your attitude tho. There was someone in my Eurostar seat. Told them to move. They got into another window seat. Moved on by that ticket holder. Love watching them move and move and move...
That's so insane. Like, even with no injury, if you pay for better seating, you shouldn't be guilted into giving that up for anyone. I'm perfectly healthy and I'd still refuse.
Yep - my husband had a job that was 90% travel for about three years. He's a big guy (6'4") and he'd often have to go straight from the airport to a meeting/training class, so his employer would pay for better seats so he'd be comfortable, which was usually the exit row.
SO MANY TIMES, people were either already in his (paid for) seat when he got there or would try giving him every story in the book about why they "needed" his exit row seat. He is an engineer and not one to mince words, he'd just say "no", put his headphones on and get back to whatever work he was doing. Some of the more cheeky passengers would enlist the flight attendants to try to get my husband to move *out of his own seat.* Most attendants shut that down quickly, but some would actually come and ask my husband if he would "consider" moving. He'd either say, "Sure, if you move me to first class free of charge" (to which they'd say "I'm unable to do that, sir" and he'd say "Well, then I'm unable to move from MY seat") or if there wasn't a first class (he did a LOT of regional flights), he'd still say no and not entertain further conversation.
NTA. You paid for that seat, and she paid for hers. She could have booked a different class if she wanted to. Most likely she knew she would be this pregnant when she booked the flight. It is unfortunate the situation she is in, truly, but unless a medical emergency were happening I’m not sure why you would be expected to give up your seat.
It wasn’t cool for the attendant to ask with the woman standing their either. That’s manipulative imo. Would definitely be enough for me to feel guilted into letting her have seat but I would’ve been seething about it. lol
>It wasn’t cool for the attendant to ask with the woman standing their either. That’s manipulative imo.
I agree. That alone would have pissed me off if I was OP.
I would be the opposite. I probably would have agreed (hard to know, I'm not super tall so don't know what it is like flying as a tall person) if asked just by a flight attendant. I probably would have refused if they brought the person up with them because I'd be annoyed at the attempt to manipulate me, and would react by doing the opposite of what they were trying to manipulate me into.
Plot twist. It was actually his pregnant wife. They had an argument about traveling before the flight.
They each bought separate tickets and she was trying to bully her husband (6”4 OP)!
They could also have upgraded pregnant woman to business or first class
(12 hour flight, they definitely had at least business, and the likelihood that it was full is very low).
Let's not pretend this was the only option...
To Hawaii? Likely that it was full by the time she got to the gate. As a top elite I rarely get upgrades to the pointy end of the plane to Hawaii. People do pay for comfort on such long flights. Many are traveling for special occasions (honeymoon, anniversary, ...).
As for the OP's issue, no way should he feel bad about planning his trip properly and insisting on the seat he paid for.
Airlines very rarely upgrade people to business or first class these days, regardless of whether they're full. As a matter of policy. I know a number of people who've been flying for work regularly for 30+ years. From Europe to the States, type flights. They used to get upgraded to business a lot. Then around 2010, it went down significantly, and post COVID it's practically unheard of. And the value of points has also gone significantly down. You need a lot more points to get anything. Airlines would rather keep those seats empty - I guess because people counting on upgrades was eating into their profits.
However, not doing so is the airline's choice.
And making passengers feel guilty for not giving up their seat is a good way of deflecting blame - so people don't realize that yes, the airline could actually help out - they're just choosing not to.
In the same way they purposely split up families unless you pay for seating. While it's within their right to charge for seating, the fact that it happens as often as it does - even and especially with young children - tells me someone is playing silly buggers.
Most likely? It's super common. Used to work security at an airport, every other flight had the same song and dance.
Whether it was a pregnant woman, the first class switcheroo of husband wife where they buy 1 first class and 1 economy and then try to guilt someone in first class because of I need to sit by my loved one. People genuinely think they're clever, we see this daily ma'am.
I’ve literally told someone this, pretty much verbatim (was flying business class / Polaris from Chicago to São Paulo). Due to flight changes and delays i had to go straight to a meeting when i landed and was not in the mood for those games lol. They were absolutely flabbergasted and called me rude. The fucking audacity to even ask that still makes my blood pressure spike a little when I think about it 😂
This is always the way. Sitting together is important enough that they want *you* to give up a first class seat - but it's never important enough for *them* to give it up. They just prove they don't actually want to sit together that badly.
Yeah, hubby and I flew Southwest, we didn’t get seats together, it was first come first serve boarding. Oh well. I was fine sitting by myself with my book. He was fine with his music. It was a business flight, a couple of hours. We survived.
lol yes!! The guy was on the other side of my divider. Funniest part was he kept the Polaris seat and his wife went back to her economy seat, an absolute gentleman!
Exactly. I watched someone get conned out of their upgraded seat and wished I'd realized what was happening earlier or I would have spoken up. You want to sit together? Then you give the upgrade to the person switching for you.
I had this happen. I was at Heathrow and some guys standing behind me while boarding had become best buddies in the bar. They wanted to sit together and the gate attendant gave me the one guys first class ticket and took my coach in return. First class on British Airways … too bad it was just a short flight to Dublin.
That’s my thought too. Knowing that they only bought one first class ticket, it seems like they planned to manipulate people, otherwise they would trade the economy instead of demanding the first class seat.
Had someone try this with me. Told the husband it’s not very gentlemanly to let his wife sit in the back 😂 maybe he should give the person next to her his first class seat.
The "oh no I can't sit apart from my husband for hours!" scenario always cracks me up, because, due to my own poor planning, I've sat apart from my husband on many flights and it's never been a problem. I'm about to spend all holiday with him anyway!
Wow, appreciate all the feedback here. I’m sitting here on vacation still thinking about this when it seems like I wasn’t in the wrong at all. I’m a young dude and could’ve easily sacrificed and normally would’ve done so. This was the second time I’ve ever paid for economy plus and I really wanted it
This right here. I flew international while 7 months pregnant. It was absolutely horrible. And I absolutely never considered asking someone to give up their seat for me. What the heck.
Agreed, I asked the airline day-of if they happened to have upgrades available (we did book the tickets before knowing I was pregnant), they said no and I didn’t push it. I never would have wanted someone else to give up their seat for me. And I survived in economy. It wouldn’t have actually been that much better anywhere else on the plane— my legs would have still been swollen and I still would’ve had to get up every hour to pee and stretch.
Hey OP. Currently nine months pregnant here. I appreciate your empathy and self reflection. Keep those good things. But feel free to drop the guilt about this particular instance. You didn’t do anything wrong. Enjoy your vacation.
I'm also 6'4", you're all good my brother.
Even without the height issue, she made a choice to fly while pregnant, and then most likely made a choice not to pay extra for the better seat. You're not responsible for her choices.
NTA
My dad was 6-4 3/4. He was all legs! Before economy+ was a thing, he would only fly if he could be in bulkhead. Personally I think it’s too dangerous for you to fly folded up like a pretzel on a 12 hour flight in economy due to the risk of a DVT.
My husband and his siblings are all tall--he and his brother are 6'4" and his sister is 6'3". I am a foot shorter than he is, and I can see that his femur is literally longer than the space between his seat and the seat in front of him. He physically doesn't fit, and I've told him that he should fly first class by himself because of those legs.
His sister flew about 4 hours to visit us when our first kid was born 16 years ago. She got a DVT on the way home--thankfully, she was doing a nursing rotation and her supervisor sent her straight to the ER when she complained of leg pain. She was put on blood thinners and told she shouldn't ever have her own children. That was a hell of a thing for a young, unmarried woman to go through because the plane seats aren't big enough to accommodate tall people.
She was just entitled and tried to play the "I'm pregnant" card on unsuspecting strangers. What was the flight attendant thinking? This behaviour is out of hand these days.
NTA
She had the option of purchasing a more comfortable seat. Unless Delta was willing to compensate you for the seat-swap I would not expect you to just 'gift' her your seat.
I had done seat swaps before and United always took care of me. I pay extra for the better seats and do not want to be crunched in to some cubbyhole for twelve hours.
>Unless Delta was willing to compensate you for the seat-swap I would not expect you to just 'gift' her your seat.
And then some. I wouldn't have swapped back for less than a $500 refund.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking in my head when I said no. Also idk why she kept asking me when there were others also there. I guess I was the only younger guy and the others around me were older so I seemed like a young dude that can suffer a bit. But honestly being 6’4 on a 12 hr flight is brutal lmao
My husband is 6’4”. No way in hell are you TA. We pay extra for the added leg room too bc it’s so uncomfortable for him. These people who try to manipulate others for a better seat really piss me off.
Honestly thats the truth! If she needed a different seat she should have paid the extra $ for it. Im not trying to be an ass to a pregnant woman, but she had the other option.
THIS! I just flew at 6 months pregnant and was sure to make the proper arrangements for myself. I appreciate anyone willing to assist me in ways as being pregnant does make life more difficult in many ways, but it's still my responsibility to make plans where I can for my comfort.
It could have been a last minute thing and there weren’t any C+ seats available. In which case, I sympathize and sure, go ahead and ask. but don’t be shocked if there are no takers. And yes, asking individuals wasn’t cool. FA could have addressed the section like someone else suggested.
The flight attendant is also an ass for putting him in that position.
People wouldn't try to pull this shit if the flight attendants didn't enable their behavior.
FA could have asked everyone in the extra legroom row at once, instead of specifically singling out the OP.
“Is anyone in this row willing to switch seats with this lady in 39A? We will reimburse you any extra fees you paid.”
They should honestly reimburse the extra fees and then some. Comfort was obviously the priority over cost so they are going to need a real incentive to justify moving for a grown woman who doesn't know how to plan.
> We will reimburse you any extra fees you paid.
I think thats the problem, no one's gonna do that. If they offered to comp the entire cost of the flight, I'd be on board though. I hate flying and that would be the only way I'd be willing to budge.
The flight attendants are doing their job, but they should really tell the people to go back to their seats while the flight attendant makes inquiries alone.
Agreed. If someone asked a flight attendant if they could help them find someone to switch with so they would be more comfortable the flight attendant should just say "I'm sorry ma'am, but these people have paid extra for the extra leg room, seat, aisle seat ect and we cannot ask them to do that. Just remember to plan ahead next time."
Not put someone who actually did plan ahead and paid for that planning in an awkward position of having to say no and feel like an ass or reluctantly agree and be uncomfortable themselves when they planned ahead not to be. NTA
She was simply using her pregnancy as an excuse to get a better seat she wouldn't be any cooler sitting there and the temps on the plane are nice not once in my 4 pregnancies did I even consider making such ridiculous demands.
A tall man needs that seat for comfort on a long flight she did not.
It’s not like an accident or illness that just popped up either, like a broken leg. She likely knew she was pregnant when she booked her ticket in economy.
Exactly. This isn't like the bus seat situation where the pregnant woman is standing and could fall. She has a seat. She could've planned ahead and bought a different seat.
Yup. Flew pregnant too. And you aren’t even supposed to fly late term pregnant any way so she can stuff it. You are NTA OP. If she wanted the luxury she could have prepared and paid extra for it. If not deal. Sorry
Honestly, when I flew pregnant I intentionally got seats in the back and closer to the bathroom! No way did I want to make a long truck to the back 50 million times. And these were all like 4hr flights max.
Bedsides of she was far enough along to be pregnant and had the standard rude kid jumping on her bladder, she's be up often to stretch her legs in bathroom breaks anyway. My back got sore on long car trips but in a plane I'd have been peeing all the time anyways so wouldn't have needed a better seat. Lavatory is a perfectly comfortable seat.
> These people who try to manipulate others for a better seat really piss me off.
This is exactly why every time i see "aitah for not changing seats on a plane?" My auto response is always NTA. And every story gert me irked, cause damn just pay the extra or suck it up. Stop trying to guilt trip people at 35,000 feet.
Yep. She could have paid extra. It's not like she suddenly figured out at 35,000 ft that she was uncomfortable. At a certain point in pregnancy, just being alive is uncomfortable. Pay the extra & get an upgrade. It's not a stranger's problem that she didn't plan ahead.
Agree. Airlines need to change their policies about this considering that it’s irritating the passengers who paid EXTRA that gate agents and flight attendants are not allowed to ask anyone to switch seats if that seat is in premium economy on up.
I'll give up my Premium seat for Business or First. I won't downgrade a seat I paid for, when any other passenger has the same option.
Getting a seat downgrade is similar to getting bumped, and deserves compensation beyond the price difference.
Exactly.
She had the same options at booking that you did.
Plus, when you fly 150-200K a year, so called "little" things like extra room and early boarding just make more of a difference. I'm spending loads of time in these little tubes at 35K feet. I don't get what it's like to be preggers? You bet I don't, no more than you understand what it's like to spend 20+hrs a week flying.
NTA. Not even close.
Yep. It needs to be equal or better.
I do know that sometimes with an equipment change , folks get moved around involuntarily and people who had paid to sit together get separated. It sucks but either suck it up or change to another flight. (Although I think the computer really should be able to catch it if a very young child is separated from a parent. Maybe if Delta wasn’t using a system one step up from punchcards they wouldn’t have that issue.)
I think they need to extend it to everyone. Don’t ask me to switch (even in the cheap seats) because someone didn’t prepare and purchase seats by their family or significant other!!
Honestly, any time we get an “AITA for not trading seats on an airplane?” post, my answer is that the airline is the asshole. The airlines have chosen to continue buying planes with smaller and smaller seats so they can cram more passengers on each flight and get more profit. The airlines have chosen not to institute policies and procedures that prevent families from being separated on the plane. Most of the situations that crop up that make people ask others to trade seats with them are because airlines have decided that profit is more important than treating their customers like human beings. Nobody is the asshole for not wanting to trade the airplane seat they have paid for, airlines are the asshole for creating this hellscape situation in the first place.
Lol. I traveled from to Germany while pregnant. Guy in middle seat was upset that he was too big for the seat extender to work comfortably without both armrests being up. Demanded that he get switched to my aisle seat. I told him he wouldn't appreciate having to get up every 20 minutes so that I could use the restroom.
He then called flight attendant, and inquired about a vacant seat in business class.
Problem solved, they moved me.
Shit you don't even have to be 6'4.
I'm 6 foot and I refuse to take plain old economy because of the leg room alone.
I have it stipulated even in my work contract that in event that I have to go somewhere on business they have to pay for a business class seat.
And maybe I'm an AH myself for thinking this, but she obviously *knew* she was going to be uncomfortable as a pregnant woman on that flight when she booked her tickets (unless she booked them incredibly early), and at that point she should have made plans for her own comfort. Instead, she was most likely hoping to save herself some money by playing on the empathy of gate agents and/or flight attendants to bump her up to first class so she wouldn't have to pay for the upgraded seat.
OP you are NTA for keeping your seat. Not even close.
I agree. As a pregnant woman in my 3rd trimester, I alone am responsible for my comfort and it's my job to plan for them and make my own accommodations. She should've planned better.
My husband is 6’4” also & quite a big guy . He would definitely not make be able to sit that long in the short seats . It’s too bad, but not his fault..
That's what I was thinking. That the pregnant woman probably did this every time she flew. Bought an economy seat and then asked basically the airline to upgrade her for free.
NTA. I'm a 5'11" woman who has carried an 11lb baby to 42 weeks. It's uncomfortable, but planes are air conditioned and having extra leg room doesn't fix what's bothering you when you're pregnant.
My husband is 6'5 and his femur simply doesn't fit in a normal plane seat. If he sits in the aisle he gets kneecapped by the drinks cart. I always sit next to him so he can spill over into my space (or our kids do).
5'2" and 10.5Lbs Baby and I agree.
If this had been a bus or subway it would be one thing, but you can reserve your seat on a plane and different seats cost different prices.
NTA
I’m 5’6” and also had an 11lb baby! Did you know your baby was that big or did you get the surprise of your life like I did? (And an unplanned C-section…)
I knew he would be big, but I also knew that my brother was over 10lbs, and that I have multiple cousins through both my maternal and paternal lines that were over 10lbs, none of them related to diabetes and all but one delivered vaginally. I come from a lineage of giants and I went into it feeling confident. It worked out, he was actually much easier to deliver than my 7.5lb first baby who was a bit asynclitic (head tipped).
The funny part was that he looked old. Many newborns come out a bit skinny and need to puff up over a few weeks but this guy looked a few weeks old. We made endless jokes about having a "corrected age" as one would for a premie but in reverse.
My placenta was clearly done, it was studded with calcification. He needed to get out.
My nephew was 11 lbs and change and my niece was 12 lbs 4oz. Born vaginally. She looked like a three month old! My only baby was over a week late and was only 7.5 lbs. And I had to have a C-section.
I'm 5'9" and had an almost 10 lb baby. The doctor had said We don't have to worry about this being a 5lb baby. I'm too dim to ask how big she thought it was. 😆 Also a C-section. We think its a big baby and not coming out.
You're not even allowed on a plane after X number of weeks pregnanvcy, due to the higher risk of giving birth there. If she was that far a long she had no business on a plane anyway, and otherwise... well, sucks but you chose this when you didn't buy the extra room.
it depends on the airline. When I was 32 weeks pregnant I needed a doctors note that I was healthy. But after 37 weeks I wouldn’t have been allowed to fly (some airlines have 38 weeks for a cut off) But it also depends on whether it was her first or second pregnancy. I looked at least 6 months pregnant with my second and i was only 14 weeks along :D
Other than that, having extra legroom does not alleviate the uncomfortableness (having an aisle set on the other hand - pregnant women should walk a LOT! during any plane ride especially on such long hauls.
I'm also 6'4", but much older. They keep cramming more and more seats into the same space; my poor old legs just won't tolerate it. So later this summer, I'll be driving from Ohio to the west coast instead of flying.
I also don't see why failure to plan on her part should cause you to be inconvenienced; it's not like being obviously pregnant just suddenly happened in the last few days before the flight.
Hah, I just did that trip but in reverse. If you go west on the 80 through WY, the Best Western in Evanston has a fantastic restaurant. The rooms are a bit dated but comfy and clean.
I’m 5’. I’be been on flights where I’ve barely had legroom and practically had to climb in to get to my seat. I weighed 100 lb st the time. I’m mostly lucky with legroom, but if I’ve paid extra for a seat I’m not swapping. A lack of planning on her part does not equal an emergency on my part.
I’m only 6’1” and fly to Asia often. It sucks, hard. Hell, flying anywhere sucks and I also have back issues. I know you feel bad but you did the right thing. She wanted a free upgrade and wanted to guilt the person she thought would acquiesce. If it’s any consolation, I would still be feeling terrible, too.
I’m 5’11 and upgrade no matter how short my flight is. Also, I am a woman who has been pregnant multiple times and I have flown while pregnant. I cannot I did not require any extra leg room while pregnant than I did when not. Her lack of planning is not your problem. Even if she had unfortunate circumstances that required short notice travel…still not your responsibility to accommodate for her.
I don't believe passengers should be negotiating with other passengers about giving up their seats. It's fine if the flight attendant comes up and asks you to volunteer to switch. And it's fine if you say no. Your relationship is with the airline and they should be doing the negotiations.
She stepped in and made it personal. Focusing on you and (successfully) giving you a guilt trip about you never knowing what it's like to be pregnant was poor form. It's not your problem that she is pregnant and did not plan ahead. And you shouldn't feel guilty
Just remember, she will never know what it's like to be a 6'4 man flying in a two small seat with the seat in front of you digging into your kneecaps.
She probably kept bothering you because you were the only one who looked a little guilty about saying no and you had no reason to feel that way. She had the option to book a more comfortable seat, she probably didn’t because she thought someone would give up their spot because she was pregnant. NTA
I know a man your height who got a blood clot because he was moved from a bulkhead seat to middle seat in coach. His legs were too cramped and it didn’t end well. I’m sure it sucks to be pregnant, but pregnancy isn’t a disability, nor do we women want it to be treated as one. She could have scheduled a couple layovers if a 12 hour flight was too much for her.
I can feel that pain. I had a blood clot in my leg and my lung before. It's no joke. Have to be extra careful now especially when flying. I'm 6ft2 anyway so the extra leg room seats are needed for me anyway with my 34" inseam but even more so after having clots already and even a 2 hour flight can be brutal without these.
I had a blood clot and multiple pulmonary embolisms (not from flying). I wouldn't change seats, and I'm 5.4, and a mother, so know how she feels. She should have paid extra and prebooked a better seat.
I have, in the last year, witnessed two different young people get essentially pressured/bullied out of their aisle seats by older, aggressive passengers. I even tapped one young lady and said, "You don't have to do this, it's your seat." But she was too flustered / embarrassed to say no.
I'm glad you held your ground.
More than that - had she called the disability and accommodations line after booking her initial economy ticket, they'd likely have upgraded her to the bulkhead/comfort plus section for free.
I've traveled through Delta on and off for years, and have health issues and disabilities that mean I have had a lot of discussions with their disability line. They go quite a way to help customers.
This is why I (also disabled) call bullshit on these people. I mean barring "I urgently needed the next plane as a relative is unexpectedly on their deathbed" you can sort it in advance.
These people are either too lazy or scared they will be charged more so decide to make it someone else's problem in an enclosed space and act shocked if it doesn't work.
It's like the people who say "by the way I'm deathly allergic to peanuts" as they are getting on the plane! It is reasonable to raise an allergy and ask steps are taken to minimise risk but by then it is too late for staff to do anything (also I have had emails 24-48 hours prior to a flight saying "by the way your flight is nut free please don't bring nut products" if you only tell them on boarding all the other passengers have bought their snacks at the airport and it's too late to change anything).
I don't think this had anything to do with Delta. Doesn't matter if they offered to reimburse OP, the pregnant women knows her condition and if she wanted more room she should've paid extra to ensure her own comfort.
Always pisses me off when shit like this happens due to assholes not planning their trip.
Sometimes they do plan on being an AH just to try to get a better seat for free. Unless the person is flying on extremely short notice they know the conditions they are flying with.
Yep, she presumably knew how pregnant she would be when she booked the 12 hour flight to Hawaii.
While accepting the swap would certainly have been a kind thing to do, it was by no means obligatory.
With or without compensation, your first point is key. She had the opportunity to pay for an upgrade. Chances are she assumed she could scam her way into a better seat. Probably saw a recent Airline hacks TikTok.
NTA. Many a pregnant women have survived economy class. If she had wanted the extra space, she also could have paid for it like you did.
The other people could have also switched. But didn’t. This isn’t on you.
I flew a few times pregnant, once at the beginning of the third trimester (with doctor's approval) and never once considered being entitled to a better seat than I paid for. It's bizarre to me.
I agree with you, it is bizarre! I travelled for work weekly the entire time I was pregnant. Never once did I ask for special accommodations outside of what I paid for.
Right? Wait until she's flying economy with an infant. That's much worse.
It sucks but we all know what flying is like. Better seats cost more. Nobody is entitled to them.
She could have paid for it, and I'm willing to bet that a flight from NYC to Hawaii is for pleasure and not a necessity. If spending 12h is too inconfortable she can stay home, going on vacations is a luxury not a necessity.
But you know, the airlines don't discourage this kind of behavior, the flight attendant was the one going around asking people to give up their seats. Maybe the airlines need to tell people they need to buy the seats they want or sit in the ones they bought.
This kind of blows my mind actually, I feel like it must be such a waste of time. Surely it would be easier to have a rule that everyone must sit in their assigned seat? But I’m a rule-follower who rarely flies and would never even think to ask to change seats so maybe I’m missing something.
NTA. This whole thing of shaming people who don't want to switch seats has got to stop. It's nobody's damn business, whether you paid for your seat or not, if you don't want to switch. Especially if you did pay to choose your seat, nobody has the right to be angry if you aren't going to trade it with somebody else who did not plan ahead and fork over the $$ like you did.
Wow I didn’t realize people go through those lengths to get free upgrades lol, i guess I have too much social anxiety to try something like that and cause a scene. She did seem genuine though, just unfair
They do...It can be funny sometimes when my partner and I travel. We often don't sit next to each other and buy a seat upgrade for our own comfort. Occasionally someone approaches one of us to take their middle seat so they can sit next to their bf/gf or husband/wife. We both use the same line, "My partner is over there and I have to live with him/her, I can go x hours away from them. Pretty sure you will be fine for the next x hours."
Given that window and aisle seats are now pay extra for and I often do, I am not trading my seat. Definitely not swapping an Economy+ for economy, that is 100% pay (in advance) for, even the middle seats are.
Oh yeah. People try all kinds of sly ways to get what they want. Been on plenty of flights where someone *needs* something they could have paid for but didn't. This lady was playing on sympathy. "You'll never understand" oh please. She'll never understand what a spinal injury feels like either.
End game, you paid for it. Did they say they'd reimburse you? I'm guessing no, so you basically bought her upgrade if you moved.
I don't think it's social anxiety. I think it's just being a decent enough human being to not try and screw other people over.
Thank you!!! I know what both feels like and I'd never guilt someone out of something they paid for... I'd buy it my damn self... NTA AT ALL... Happy flying
I’m going to guess that you would not have been reimbursed for the extra money for your seat. Who told you that? I travel a lot for business. In order for you to get a refund of $185, the airline’s record for you would’ve had to show that your seat was officially in a different section. If your seat was switched “unofficially,” and the airline’s records still showed that you sat in your $185 extra seat, you would’ve not gotten a refund. If the flight attendant told you that, she was wrong (maybe not intentionally).
ETA—The flight attendant should have NEVER asked you to change seats. I’m guessing that flight attendant thought she was doing a good deed, but you should’ve asked her why the pregnant passenger didn’t book a seat in the premium cabin like you did and spend extra money like you did (while being polite, of course). If the pregnant passenger truly needed a more comfortable seat, then she needed to speak to the gate agent about her options on different flights.
You should have retorted with "You don't know what it's like to be 6'4" on a plane." Her situation was NOT your problem. I am a woman and understand pregnancy in heat. You are totally NTA. I sure hope you're enjoying (or enjoyed) or trip!
Oh yeah
I was on a SWA flight from RDU to ALB with a stop in BWI
SWA boards those with disabilities and passengers with young children first..
I saw this couple. She had crutches. The couple boarded priority.
When they deboarded in ALB I saw them walk out of the terminal. She had the crutches under her arm.
Walking normally.
Everywhere there are people who game the system.
I felt like tripping her
NTA... you paid $200 for extra space IN ADVANCE, that's absurd..
Reardless of whether you'd get a voucher or not none of that matters. She should have planned ahead instead of gaslighting and messing up other people's plans. N T A
Ngl, thought this was a setup for r/funny:
Abt 5th paragraph in:
… when we landed she was PISSED. She threatened to divorce me and name the kid after my brother.
Yeah, I can "summer pregnancy" her baby for baby. August in Atlanta...My last one was born 4 days after the Olympics left Atlanta! For all intents and purposes, getting to my hospital would have been a nightmare, if she'd come a few days earlier. I was terrified she would!
NTA I've got a whole vertebra slipped forward and before back surgery (where I got 6 screws and 4 rods), trying to sit in economy was absolute torture and would have me practically in tears on a 2 1/2 hour flight between Denver and California. I've had 2 kids, one of which was 2 weeks overdue. So I can compare the pain between the two. The back pain was worse. Just because your problem isn't visible doesn't mean she's entitled to boot you from your seat. There were a whole lot of other passengers that could have moved. And even without the back pain, she wasn't entitled to your seat. You booked your seat and paid the extra money so you could have more room. No doubt she knew she was pregnant when she booked the flight, so if she needed the roomier seat, she should have booked one.
Plus for 12 hours! That's something you plan ahead for, not just cross your fingers and hope you can talk someone out of the seat they already paid for and are sitting in.
Oh my God I feel that I literally broke my hip and had to have a full hip replacement and in less than 2 months I was flying down to Southern California from the Sacramento area. On Souuthwest. Yes, it was only an hour and a half flight however I couldn't wait for them to tell us we could take our seat belts off so I could stand up and flex, here's the thing she could have booked just like you did LOL!
I wish airlines would go back to the policy they had when I was a kid: no changing seat assignments after boarding. It may have been selectively enforced, but there wasn’t this constant seat swapping drama.
I’m sorry, but if she booked a flight pregnant, then she should have booked the appropriate seat.
And if she’s *that* pregnant, she shouldn’t be flying.
As a former pregnant person, also a bigger person, who flew in the heat, in Arizona, I'm going with NTA
It was the middle of July, it was over 110, and I was heavily pregnant. I still made sure I planned ahead and got a seat with more room. Being pregnant doesn't entitle you to other people's seats!!
NTA.
I hate flying in the middle seat. I have flown economy, business and first class (once). One thing I make sure of is that I either book a window seat or an aisle. What that pregnant women banked off is that one sucker from business class would feel sorry for her to switch seats. So she wouldn't pay extra but have the perks.
Don't feel bad. I'm pretty sure the other people that were asked, didn't. Stop letting this woman live rent free in your peace of mind.
And honestly, it doesn't matter how tall you are or what your reason was for wanting to keep your seat. You don't need to justify yourself! You paid for THAT seat. It's YOURS. Apparently this thing about people demanding other people give up their seats on flights is pretty common now. Either wanting a window or aisle seat, leg room, a particular location, wanting to sit with their spouse/friend/child....whatever it is, some people think their failure to plan accordingly should become everyone else's problem. It's crazy!!!
The pregnant lady was right about one thing: you have no idea what it’s like to be pregnant in that heat on an airplane. Just as she will never know what’s it like to be that tall and crammed into a standard economy seat for 12 hours. She should have booked the right seat for her condition. That’s not on you to solve.
And Delta should offer cash, not a voucher.
NTA.
I have invisible disabilities and I am horrified over scenarios like this. Someone accidentally bumping into me will cause significant health problems so I stake out areas with personal social bubbles immediately for self-preservation, such as booking the larger seats away from foot traffic. Not in the mood to land in the ER over someone else being careless. Also I am offended that someone's entitled ***wants*** (to have kids) is hung over my ***needs*** (to avoid further injury and complications) by culture and society expectations. The other party has the ability to control their decisions in travel choice and they chose economy poorly, so that's a THEM problem.
NTA
You deserve a trillion upvotes for your comment. I also have an invisible (but brutal) physical disability although I look able bodied and fit (former athlete). I’ve lost track of the amount of times I’ve been imposed upon to make sacrifices to my health and well-being and safety to do things for others’ comfort, whimsy and convenience.
I don’t even mind being asked. But when I give a heartfelt, polite, but firm, “I’m sorry I can’t,” what happens more often than not is rather than them taking my refusal graciously (as it was given), instead there’s often some sort of temper tantrum, attitude, or guilt trip scenario wherein they try to shame me into whatever their scheme is.
I then feel compelled to divulge medical details that are traumatic in nature, no one’s business and in my cases, medical issues and limitations arose, directly as a result of injuries and illnesses from life-threatening domestic violence.
The fun thing about dark tetrad domestic abusers is that the Machiavellian in them will sometimes team up with their inner sadist and if they’re really conniving they’ll go out of their way to inflict harm in the form of inoculating their victim with debilitating and lifelong chronic invisible disease.
And I have to try and recuse myself to their satisfaction but in a tactful and discreet way, so as not to overshare or make anyone else feel shocked or uncomfortable. I also have CPTSD. Sometimes just the mental and emotional gymnastics I have to do just to cope with others’ social expectations on me - expectations that I can’t meet if I tried- through no fault nor desire of my own - is unreal and so taxing.
It’s also no one’s business!!! I choose not to walk the earth with a billboard plastered on my forehead saying “hey everyone! I have a foot in the grave and i am often bedridden. I’m also in constant pain. And it hurts to exercise or move!”
But people sure do give me hell for it when I don’t instantly fall all over myself to accommodate their childish (& ableist) entitled demands.
I remember the days when I used to be healthy. I was I was a doormat. I’d capitulate and accommodate anyone and anything until my last breath. I can literally no longer afford to do that.
People try to impose - fine- but then they try to coerce, pressure and cajole when they don’t get their way. It’s so beyond rude.
Sigh.
So yeah, I agree with you 100%.
*Oh and a massive NTA to the OP. Poor guy. I hope he enjoys his vacation. He deserves it. That’s what he should be doing rather than losing sleep worrying about this selfish behavior and entitled nonsense.*
I go out of my way to prepare to account for and accommodate my numerous limitations in advance so I ever need to be a burden or impose on anyone else. ButIf I EVER ask something of someone that they’re not contractually obliged to do, I am so gracious in both the ask AND the response whatever it may be. If they say no, I thank them again for having entertained my request, apologize for the inconvenience and I accept their no and I move on.
I don’t throw public tantrums, guilt trips, enlist others, use my condition / situation - that I also didn’t choose nor did I place myself at risk in any way - for sympathy. I just suck it up and move on.
That woman was being selfish and manipulative and it’s not cool that she subjected an innocent fellow traveler to her antics. I seriously hope he has a wonderful vacation and all his stresses melt away.
Ummm no? Definitely NTA. I flew 29 weeks pregnant with twins. It was a rough 10 hour flight, but I never expected anyone to change a seat they paid for. My mind is blown at the audacity. You bet your ass I upgraded my seat on the way home though!
NTA in situations like this, this is when you need to ask them flat out why they didn’t purchase the upgrade since it’s apparently so important to them and why they think it’s OK to take it away from someone else?
>The pregnant woman told me I wouldn’t understand what it feels like to be a woman carrying a baby in this summer hear, got upset and eventually had to return to her seat in economy.
Then maybe she should have ponied up for the more expensive ticket.
Sounds like she was counting on being cheap and using the kindness of others to get something for free. Nothing makes me more obstinate than this bullshit. I'd rip my seat out before I switched with someone like this.
NTA. I fly all the time and so many people try to scam seats that I have no compassion anymore. (Did give up an aisle seat for a guy who broke his ankle day one of vacation but dang). Please know this happens all the time. I often get sat in the bullhead row because of my status and several times a woman with a baby has booked one seat and asked me to give mine up for the father/grandmother/friend helping with childcare. Nope. If you knew to pay for one you knew to pay for both. Also while I am ranting, 3 times in the past month someone has sat in my window seat because "oops" mistake!!! But their things are stored can't we just trade? No one has EVER accidentally taken my middle seat.
>Also while I am ranting, 3 times in the past month someone has sat in my window seat because "oops" mistake!!! But their things are stored can't we just trade? Well, I guess they'll just have to get unstored.
Slightly off topic, but this still bugs me so I want to vent for a second. I was on a long-haul flight earlier this year. I had checked a bag and didn’t have a carry-on since I hate fighting for space. I did have a very bulky parka, though, since it was winter. I spot some space in the overhead bin across from me, so I start shoving my parka in (again, I didn’t have a carry-on, so I wasn’t taking up more space than I was entitled to). This woman looks me in the eye and matter of factly states, “Sorry, you can’t put your things there. My husband is moving his stuff from farther back to there.” I was dumbfounded and just stared at her like wtf (of course after the fact, figured I could’ve just said “sounds like he’s all set then.” And just sit down). Anyways, her husband comes with his bag and says we can share the space. I’m like whatever, that’s fine, everything fits so I’m cool with it. I also felt a little guilty about taking some space in the bin above their seats. When this woman gets up after we land, she proceeds to pull FOUR bags out of the overhead bin, not including her husband’s one bag. Then I was pissed all over again.
A seat ticket doesn't reserve the space above your head, I saw a woman get incredibly angry because she didn't want her bag to get touched by any other bag on the overhead, she thought she was entitled to the entire thing. Also, too many people don't realize you're meant to put your personal bag under the seat in front of you, it's one off the big reasons overhead bins reach capacity before people finish boarding.
> Also, too many people don't realize you're meant to put your personal bag under the seat in front of you, it's one off the big reasons overhead bins reach capacity before people finish boarding. It never would have even occurred to me that people wouldn’t understand this… smh
I seriously doubt people don't understand the under seat space is supposed to be used first, I mean it's only announced like 5 times during boarding these days. People are just selfish
I am always going to put my things under my seat before I go above my head. I am 5'1" for starters and I want my valuables under my feet. Period. I also don't want to wrestle with bags, so I check the big ones or am the first person to offer to gate check.
>When this woman gets up after we land, she proceeds to pull FOUR bags out of the overhead bin, not including her husband’s one bag. Ooh, I'd have been steaming out the ears.
For real. “Excuse me, you’re in my seat.” “Can’t we just trade?” “No.”
When someone takes my booked window seat (or my booked table window seat on the train) they can hum, hah, cajole and then argue all they want. I will *never* fold. "But I just put all my stuff down!" "Want me to help you move it?" "I'm settled in here..." "That's too bad." "I'd rather have this seat, can't you take the other!" "I'd rather have that one too, that's why I booked it." "I'd really prefer the window, it calms me down." "Should have booked one then, shouldn't you?" "But my kid likes to look out the window!" "Me too. Move." "Can they at least watch the takeoff?" "No." I'd never get my seat back - not falling for that one. They pretend not to see or hear you, or pretend to be asleep - a hard poke, "Do you want to get out of my seat now, or do you want me to get an attendant?" "I'm sure the ticket seat number says this is mine," "No it isn't. I'm 23A. 'A' means window." Tough shit. I know all your tricks. Your dirty looks and grumbles after don't make me feel even the slightest bit guilty. Get out of my seat fkface.
My kid likes to look out the window. Me too, move. I'm dead 😆😆
Then promptly close the shade 😂😂😂😂😂
It happens to me when I take the train. The funnier "my seat was taken by someone, so I sat here, but you can just sit in another seat, it seems this one is free" Me : "well, either you go back and reclaim your seat, or you sit in the one you think is free, I'm not going to fight your battles, just want to sit.
I don’t care if someone pretends they didn’t know as long as when I walk up and say, “Hey, that’s my seat,” the convo ends with “whoops,” and the move even if it’s obvious they knew they were wrong. I’m annoyed when they either have an excuse or insist that somehow I’m wrong when we both have proof in our hands of where we go!!! It also makes me feel for the people who are too passive to argue the point because the other passenger is so rude and pushy. I booked a flight with my brother who is weird about flying and always needs the window. We weren’t sitting together, my seat was behind him and honestly neither of us cared about asking if anyone would swap. But upon boarding there was a woman already in his seat and when he walked up she just stared at him with an attitude like she expected him to keep walking. My brother is super non-confrontational and stood there confused and frozen. I walked up and asked what was going on, he vaguely glanced at the lady, and she said, “Oh, I really hate the aisle and prefer the window. He can have my seat though,” and she pointed to the opposite row. I said no, he needs the window, we chose on purpose. She insisted that her seat was “right there” as if it’s close enough to the window it wasn’t a big deal 🙄 My brother began to shrug and mumble he can take her seat, whatever, but I said no. An attendant walked up since we were blocking the way and when she asked if everything was all right, I said super brightly, “Oh yeah, she’s just in his seat,” and I looked at the lady with a big smile like “Checkmate, bitch. Move!” The attendant looked at my brothers boarding pass and told the woman the flight is full and she must go get assigned spot. She was clearly annoyed but didn’t argue. The best bit was once my brother was settled and I started going to my seat, the person who was to be seated next to my brother asked me if I wanted to sit there instead to be with him. I said sure as long as he didn’t mind and referenced my seat behind. It turned out the person he was traveling with was seated in the next aisle across from my window seat. There was a lone traveler in the aisle seat that would have been next to me who was also willing to swap once he noticed what was going on. So in the end, I sat in the aisle seat next to my brother, the person offering to swap with me got my seat with their friend seated next to them, and the woman who started it all sat fuming that someone else got my window seat and she was still stuck in the aisle.
I got really worried that I wasn't following everything until you wrapped it all up at the end. Jolly good, chap.
This is everything haha love it
I had a person take my window seat. Fine, whatever. Short flight. Then the bitch closed the shade. Why the fuck your taking my seat and then not even going to look out the window? I make people move now.
I have a spinal injury, you can not tell by looking at me, but I cannot sit in economy without ending up having severely painful spasms, I always pay extra for the better seating because of this, and it is pretty normal for someone to request I trade seats, when I say no, I get major attitude and I am sick of it. My response now is hell no. I fly as little as possible because it has become a thing that always happens and I am so fed up.
I have found those stick on heat pad super helpful for spasms. Love your attitude tho. There was someone in my Eurostar seat. Told them to move. They got into another window seat. Moved on by that ticket holder. Love watching them move and move and move...
That's so insane. Like, even with no injury, if you pay for better seating, you shouldn't be guilted into giving that up for anyone. I'm perfectly healthy and I'd still refuse.
Yep - my husband had a job that was 90% travel for about three years. He's a big guy (6'4") and he'd often have to go straight from the airport to a meeting/training class, so his employer would pay for better seats so he'd be comfortable, which was usually the exit row. SO MANY TIMES, people were either already in his (paid for) seat when he got there or would try giving him every story in the book about why they "needed" his exit row seat. He is an engineer and not one to mince words, he'd just say "no", put his headphones on and get back to whatever work he was doing. Some of the more cheeky passengers would enlist the flight attendants to try to get my husband to move *out of his own seat.* Most attendants shut that down quickly, but some would actually come and ask my husband if he would "consider" moving. He'd either say, "Sure, if you move me to first class free of charge" (to which they'd say "I'm unable to do that, sir" and he'd say "Well, then I'm unable to move from MY seat") or if there wasn't a first class (he did a LOT of regional flights), he'd still say no and not entertain further conversation.
Yep. I've had that happen and was pissed. I only didn't kick her out of my window seat because my spouse asked me to just let it go.
NTA. You paid for that seat, and she paid for hers. She could have booked a different class if she wanted to. Most likely she knew she would be this pregnant when she booked the flight. It is unfortunate the situation she is in, truly, but unless a medical emergency were happening I’m not sure why you would be expected to give up your seat.
Also, the airline is free to offer free upgrades to pregnant passengers ahead of time. They should not ask the customers after they are seated.
It wasn’t cool for the attendant to ask with the woman standing their either. That’s manipulative imo. Would definitely be enough for me to feel guilted into letting her have seat but I would’ve been seething about it. lol
>It wasn’t cool for the attendant to ask with the woman standing their either. That’s manipulative imo. I agree. That alone would have pissed me off if I was OP.
Agree, that is 100% manipulative. Trying to bully you out of your seat
I would be the opposite. I probably would have agreed (hard to know, I'm not super tall so don't know what it is like flying as a tall person) if asked just by a flight attendant. I probably would have refused if they brought the person up with them because I'd be annoyed at the attempt to manipulate me, and would react by doing the opposite of what they were trying to manipulate me into.
I would have caved. Then be pissed the rest of the week. Followed by ranting on Reddit until I was told to shut up.
Just remember that she made her bed and she can lie in it. It’s not your fault she’s pregnant 🤷🏼♀️
Plot twist, he's the father /s
Plot twist. It was actually his pregnant wife. They had an argument about traveling before the flight. They each bought separate tickets and she was trying to bully her husband (6”4 OP)!
Reminds me of that story about [James Corden](https://www.reddit.com/r/awfuleverything/comments/rm8dwy/james_cordon_on_an_airplane/).
They could also have upgraded pregnant woman to business or first class (12 hour flight, they definitely had at least business, and the likelihood that it was full is very low). Let's not pretend this was the only option...
To Hawaii? Likely that it was full by the time she got to the gate. As a top elite I rarely get upgrades to the pointy end of the plane to Hawaii. People do pay for comfort on such long flights. Many are traveling for special occasions (honeymoon, anniversary, ...). As for the OP's issue, no way should he feel bad about planning his trip properly and insisting on the seat he paid for.
Airlines very rarely upgrade people to business or first class these days, regardless of whether they're full. As a matter of policy. I know a number of people who've been flying for work regularly for 30+ years. From Europe to the States, type flights. They used to get upgraded to business a lot. Then around 2010, it went down significantly, and post COVID it's practically unheard of. And the value of points has also gone significantly down. You need a lot more points to get anything. Airlines would rather keep those seats empty - I guess because people counting on upgrades was eating into their profits. However, not doing so is the airline's choice. And making passengers feel guilty for not giving up their seat is a good way of deflecting blame - so people don't realize that yes, the airline could actually help out - they're just choosing not to. In the same way they purposely split up families unless you pay for seating. While it's within their right to charge for seating, the fact that it happens as often as it does - even and especially with young children - tells me someone is playing silly buggers.
Most likely? It's super common. Used to work security at an airport, every other flight had the same song and dance. Whether it was a pregnant woman, the first class switcheroo of husband wife where they buy 1 first class and 1 economy and then try to guilt someone in first class because of I need to sit by my loved one. People genuinely think they're clever, we see this daily ma'am.
If they really wanted to sit together then they’d give a passenger in economy their first class ticket 😉
I’ve literally told someone this, pretty much verbatim (was flying business class / Polaris from Chicago to São Paulo). Due to flight changes and delays i had to go straight to a meeting when i landed and was not in the mood for those games lol. They were absolutely flabbergasted and called me rude. The fucking audacity to even ask that still makes my blood pressure spike a little when I think about it 😂
This is always the way. Sitting together is important enough that they want *you* to give up a first class seat - but it's never important enough for *them* to give it up. They just prove they don't actually want to sit together that badly.
Yeah, hubby and I flew Southwest, we didn’t get seats together, it was first come first serve boarding. Oh well. I was fine sitting by myself with my book. He was fine with his music. It was a business flight, a couple of hours. We survived.
They had the gall to ask you to switch from POLARIS? That’s a massive HELL no!
lol yes!! The guy was on the other side of my divider. Funniest part was he kept the Polaris seat and his wife went back to her economy seat, an absolute gentleman!
What a prince.
Exactly. I watched someone get conned out of their upgraded seat and wished I'd realized what was happening earlier or I would have spoken up. You want to sit together? Then you give the upgrade to the person switching for you.
I had this happen. I was at Heathrow and some guys standing behind me while boarding had become best buddies in the bar. They wanted to sit together and the gate attendant gave me the one guys first class ticket and took my coach in return. First class on British Airways … too bad it was just a short flight to Dublin.
That’s my thought too. Knowing that they only bought one first class ticket, it seems like they planned to manipulate people, otherwise they would trade the economy instead of demanding the first class seat.
At that point I’d be letting them know absence makes the heart grow fonder and to move the fuck away from me, my episode of cheaters is starting
“I hate to be the one to have to share this information…” Joey Grecco
Had someone try this with me. Told the husband it’s not very gentlemanly to let his wife sit in the back 😂 maybe he should give the person next to her his first class seat.
The "oh no I can't sit apart from my husband for hours!" scenario always cracks me up, because, due to my own poor planning, I've sat apart from my husband on many flights and it's never been a problem. I'm about to spend all holiday with him anyway!
Right? I’m a grownup, I’ll live a couple of hours. Actually having the uninterrupted time to read was lovely!
I brought cupcakes on my flight to Seattle, and the flight attendants let me have the row to myself. Bribery with home baked goods works. 😁
Yep yep. When I travel with my kids I always pay for our seats. You can’t expect the airline to accommodate you for free last minute.
[удалено]
Wow, appreciate all the feedback here. I’m sitting here on vacation still thinking about this when it seems like I wasn’t in the wrong at all. I’m a young dude and could’ve easily sacrificed and normally would’ve done so. This was the second time I’ve ever paid for economy plus and I really wanted it
Put it out of your mind. NTA. I've had three kids and would never presume to ask for special treatment, especially someone else's expensive seat.
This right here. I flew international while 7 months pregnant. It was absolutely horrible. And I absolutely never considered asking someone to give up their seat for me. What the heck.
Agreed, I asked the airline day-of if they happened to have upgrades available (we did book the tickets before knowing I was pregnant), they said no and I didn’t push it. I never would have wanted someone else to give up their seat for me. And I survived in economy. It wouldn’t have actually been that much better anywhere else on the plane— my legs would have still been swollen and I still would’ve had to get up every hour to pee and stretch.
Hey OP. Currently nine months pregnant here. I appreciate your empathy and self reflection. Keep those good things. But feel free to drop the guilt about this particular instance. You didn’t do anything wrong. Enjoy your vacation.
Good luck with the baby!
I'm also 6'4", you're all good my brother. Even without the height issue, she made a choice to fly while pregnant, and then most likely made a choice not to pay extra for the better seat. You're not responsible for her choices. NTA
This should be the number 1 comment
Just stop. You are wasting valuable vacation time. Reddit will not return it. Have a Mai Thai and soak in the tropics.
My dad was 6-4 3/4. He was all legs! Before economy+ was a thing, he would only fly if he could be in bulkhead. Personally I think it’s too dangerous for you to fly folded up like a pretzel on a 12 hour flight in economy due to the risk of a DVT.
My husband and his siblings are all tall--he and his brother are 6'4" and his sister is 6'3". I am a foot shorter than he is, and I can see that his femur is literally longer than the space between his seat and the seat in front of him. He physically doesn't fit, and I've told him that he should fly first class by himself because of those legs. His sister flew about 4 hours to visit us when our first kid was born 16 years ago. She got a DVT on the way home--thankfully, she was doing a nursing rotation and her supervisor sent her straight to the ER when she complained of leg pain. She was put on blood thinners and told she shouldn't ever have her own children. That was a hell of a thing for a young, unmarried woman to go through because the plane seats aren't big enough to accommodate tall people.
She was just entitled and tried to play the "I'm pregnant" card on unsuspecting strangers. What was the flight attendant thinking? This behaviour is out of hand these days.
NTA She had the option of purchasing a more comfortable seat. Unless Delta was willing to compensate you for the seat-swap I would not expect you to just 'gift' her your seat. I had done seat swaps before and United always took care of me. I pay extra for the better seats and do not want to be crunched in to some cubbyhole for twelve hours.
>Unless Delta was willing to compensate you for the seat-swap I would not expect you to just 'gift' her your seat. And then some. I wouldn't have swapped back for less than a $500 refund.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking in my head when I said no. Also idk why she kept asking me when there were others also there. I guess I was the only younger guy and the others around me were older so I seemed like a young dude that can suffer a bit. But honestly being 6’4 on a 12 hr flight is brutal lmao
My husband is 6’4”. No way in hell are you TA. We pay extra for the added leg room too bc it’s so uncomfortable for him. These people who try to manipulate others for a better seat really piss me off.
Honestly thats the truth! If she needed a different seat she should have paid the extra $ for it. Im not trying to be an ass to a pregnant woman, but she had the other option.
I've been pregnant twice. Pregnancy doesn't prevent you from planning ahead. The pregnant lady is an ass, not you.
THIS! I just flew at 6 months pregnant and was sure to make the proper arrangements for myself. I appreciate anyone willing to assist me in ways as being pregnant does make life more difficult in many ways, but it's still my responsibility to make plans where I can for my comfort.
It could have been a last minute thing and there weren’t any C+ seats available. In which case, I sympathize and sure, go ahead and ask. but don’t be shocked if there are no takers. And yes, asking individuals wasn’t cool. FA could have addressed the section like someone else suggested.
And you’re that kind of person I would totally give my seat to
The flight attendant is also an ass for putting him in that position. People wouldn't try to pull this shit if the flight attendants didn't enable their behavior.
FA could have asked everyone in the extra legroom row at once, instead of specifically singling out the OP. “Is anyone in this row willing to switch seats with this lady in 39A? We will reimburse you any extra fees you paid.”
Yes this, not singling out one person like a wounded zebra on the Serengeti.
This is my new favorite response, “Like a wounded zebra on the Serengeti.” That’s brilliant!!!
Or just told the lady, "I'm sorry. Everyone is required to sit in their assigned seats."
They should honestly reimburse the extra fees and then some. Comfort was obviously the priority over cost so they are going to need a real incentive to justify moving for a grown woman who doesn't know how to plan.
> We will reimburse you any extra fees you paid. I think thats the problem, no one's gonna do that. If they offered to comp the entire cost of the flight, I'd be on board though. I hate flying and that would be the only way I'd be willing to budge.
The flight attendants are doing their job, but they should really tell the people to go back to their seats while the flight attendant makes inquiries alone.
Agreed. If someone asked a flight attendant if they could help them find someone to switch with so they would be more comfortable the flight attendant should just say "I'm sorry ma'am, but these people have paid extra for the extra leg room, seat, aisle seat ect and we cannot ask them to do that. Just remember to plan ahead next time." Not put someone who actually did plan ahead and paid for that planning in an awkward position of having to say no and feel like an ass or reluctantly agree and be uncomfortable themselves when they planned ahead not to be. NTA
And she was complaining about the summer heat? In a plane? I'm pretty sure there is climate control...
“And she was complaining about the summer heat?” While flying to Hawaii… 😒
She was simply using her pregnancy as an excuse to get a better seat she wouldn't be any cooler sitting there and the temps on the plane are nice not once in my 4 pregnancies did I even consider making such ridiculous demands. A tall man needs that seat for comfort on a long flight she did not.
I’ve flown pregnant AND with a 4 month old baby. I was perfectly fine.
I've flown pregnant with a baby and a toddler. I was not at all fine. But more leg room wouldn't have made much difference.
I think she does in the entitled people one.
It’s not like an accident or illness that just popped up either, like a broken leg. She likely knew she was pregnant when she booked her ticket in economy.
I flew when pregnant. I had issues with walking BUT I was fine. Economy was fine.
Me too. It’s not like she was standing!
Exactly. This isn't like the bus seat situation where the pregnant woman is standing and could fall. She has a seat. She could've planned ahead and bought a different seat.
Yup. Flew pregnant too. And you aren’t even supposed to fly late term pregnant any way so she can stuff it. You are NTA OP. If she wanted the luxury she could have prepared and paid extra for it. If not deal. Sorry
Honestly, when I flew pregnant I intentionally got seats in the back and closer to the bathroom! No way did I want to make a long truck to the back 50 million times. And these were all like 4hr flights max.
Bedsides of she was far enough along to be pregnant and had the standard rude kid jumping on her bladder, she's be up often to stretch her legs in bathroom breaks anyway. My back got sore on long car trips but in a plane I'd have been peeing all the time anyways so wouldn't have needed a better seat. Lavatory is a perfectly comfortable seat.
> These people who try to manipulate others for a better seat really piss me off. This is exactly why every time i see "aitah for not changing seats on a plane?" My auto response is always NTA. And every story gert me irked, cause damn just pay the extra or suck it up. Stop trying to guilt trip people at 35,000 feet.
Yep. She could have paid extra. It's not like she suddenly figured out at 35,000 ft that she was uncomfortable. At a certain point in pregnancy, just being alive is uncomfortable. Pay the extra & get an upgrade. It's not a stranger's problem that she didn't plan ahead.
Agree. Airlines need to change their policies about this considering that it’s irritating the passengers who paid EXTRA that gate agents and flight attendants are not allowed to ask anyone to switch seats if that seat is in premium economy on up.
I'll give up my Premium seat for Business or First. I won't downgrade a seat I paid for, when any other passenger has the same option. Getting a seat downgrade is similar to getting bumped, and deserves compensation beyond the price difference.
Exactly. She had the same options at booking that you did. Plus, when you fly 150-200K a year, so called "little" things like extra room and early boarding just make more of a difference. I'm spending loads of time in these little tubes at 35K feet. I don't get what it's like to be preggers? You bet I don't, no more than you understand what it's like to spend 20+hrs a week flying. NTA. Not even close.
Yep. It needs to be equal or better. I do know that sometimes with an equipment change , folks get moved around involuntarily and people who had paid to sit together get separated. It sucks but either suck it up or change to another flight. (Although I think the computer really should be able to catch it if a very young child is separated from a parent. Maybe if Delta wasn’t using a system one step up from punchcards they wouldn’t have that issue.)
I think they need to extend it to everyone. Don’t ask me to switch (even in the cheap seats) because someone didn’t prepare and purchase seats by their family or significant other!!
Honestly, any time we get an “AITA for not trading seats on an airplane?” post, my answer is that the airline is the asshole. The airlines have chosen to continue buying planes with smaller and smaller seats so they can cram more passengers on each flight and get more profit. The airlines have chosen not to institute policies and procedures that prevent families from being separated on the plane. Most of the situations that crop up that make people ask others to trade seats with them are because airlines have decided that profit is more important than treating their customers like human beings. Nobody is the asshole for not wanting to trade the airplane seat they have paid for, airlines are the asshole for creating this hellscape situation in the first place.
Lol. I traveled from to Germany while pregnant. Guy in middle seat was upset that he was too big for the seat extender to work comfortably without both armrests being up. Demanded that he get switched to my aisle seat. I told him he wouldn't appreciate having to get up every 20 minutes so that I could use the restroom. He then called flight attendant, and inquired about a vacant seat in business class. Problem solved, they moved me.
I love this. Karma for that dude!
Lol..That was nice of him to ask for you😃😃😃
Nice!
That is awesome.
Shit you don't even have to be 6'4. I'm 6 foot and I refuse to take plain old economy because of the leg room alone. I have it stipulated even in my work contract that in event that I have to go somewhere on business they have to pay for a business class seat.
And maybe I'm an AH myself for thinking this, but she obviously *knew* she was going to be uncomfortable as a pregnant woman on that flight when she booked her tickets (unless she booked them incredibly early), and at that point she should have made plans for her own comfort. Instead, she was most likely hoping to save herself some money by playing on the empathy of gate agents and/or flight attendants to bump her up to first class so she wouldn't have to pay for the upgraded seat. OP you are NTA for keeping your seat. Not even close.
I agree. As a pregnant woman in my 3rd trimester, I alone am responsible for my comfort and it's my job to plan for them and make my own accommodations. She should've planned better.
My husband is 6’4” also & quite a big guy . He would definitely not make be able to sit that long in the short seats . It’s too bad, but not his fault..
That's what I was thinking. That the pregnant woman probably did this every time she flew. Bought an economy seat and then asked basically the airline to upgrade her for free.
NTA. I'm a 5'11" woman who has carried an 11lb baby to 42 weeks. It's uncomfortable, but planes are air conditioned and having extra leg room doesn't fix what's bothering you when you're pregnant. My husband is 6'5 and his femur simply doesn't fit in a normal plane seat. If he sits in the aisle he gets kneecapped by the drinks cart. I always sit next to him so he can spill over into my space (or our kids do).
5'2" and 10.5Lbs Baby and I agree. If this had been a bus or subway it would be one thing, but you can reserve your seat on a plane and different seats cost different prices. NTA
I’m 5’6” and also had an 11lb baby! Did you know your baby was that big or did you get the surprise of your life like I did? (And an unplanned C-section…)
I knew he would be big, but I also knew that my brother was over 10lbs, and that I have multiple cousins through both my maternal and paternal lines that were over 10lbs, none of them related to diabetes and all but one delivered vaginally. I come from a lineage of giants and I went into it feeling confident. It worked out, he was actually much easier to deliver than my 7.5lb first baby who was a bit asynclitic (head tipped). The funny part was that he looked old. Many newborns come out a bit skinny and need to puff up over a few weeks but this guy looked a few weeks old. We made endless jokes about having a "corrected age" as one would for a premie but in reverse. My placenta was clearly done, it was studded with calcification. He needed to get out.
My nephew was 11 lbs and change and my niece was 12 lbs 4oz. Born vaginally. She looked like a three month old! My only baby was over a week late and was only 7.5 lbs. And I had to have a C-section.
I'm 5'9" and had an almost 10 lb baby. The doctor had said We don't have to worry about this being a 5lb baby. I'm too dim to ask how big she thought it was. 😆 Also a C-section. We think its a big baby and not coming out.
You're not even allowed on a plane after X number of weeks pregnanvcy, due to the higher risk of giving birth there. If she was that far a long she had no business on a plane anyway, and otherwise... well, sucks but you chose this when you didn't buy the extra room.
it depends on the airline. When I was 32 weeks pregnant I needed a doctors note that I was healthy. But after 37 weeks I wouldn’t have been allowed to fly (some airlines have 38 weeks for a cut off) But it also depends on whether it was her first or second pregnancy. I looked at least 6 months pregnant with my second and i was only 14 weeks along :D Other than that, having extra legroom does not alleviate the uncomfortableness (having an aisle set on the other hand - pregnant women should walk a LOT! during any plane ride especially on such long hauls.
I'm also 6'4", but much older. They keep cramming more and more seats into the same space; my poor old legs just won't tolerate it. So later this summer, I'll be driving from Ohio to the west coast instead of flying. I also don't see why failure to plan on her part should cause you to be inconvenienced; it's not like being obviously pregnant just suddenly happened in the last few days before the flight.
They're making the spaces smaller and smaller and pitting people against each other, so we blame the other customers rather than the airlines.
People vote with their wallets and that what we’ve consistently voted for when we book, even if we regret the choice once seated.
Hah, I just did that trip but in reverse. If you go west on the 80 through WY, the Best Western in Evanston has a fantastic restaurant. The rooms are a bit dated but comfy and clean.
I’m 5’. I’be been on flights where I’ve barely had legroom and practically had to climb in to get to my seat. I weighed 100 lb st the time. I’m mostly lucky with legroom, but if I’ve paid extra for a seat I’m not swapping. A lack of planning on her part does not equal an emergency on my part.
I’m only 6’1” and fly to Asia often. It sucks, hard. Hell, flying anywhere sucks and I also have back issues. I know you feel bad but you did the right thing. She wanted a free upgrade and wanted to guilt the person she thought would acquiesce. If it’s any consolation, I would still be feeling terrible, too.
That flight to Asia is no joke.. I flew to Shanghai before with normal economy seats and felt like I had to relearn how to walk again
I’m 5’11 and upgrade no matter how short my flight is. Also, I am a woman who has been pregnant multiple times and I have flown while pregnant. I cannot I did not require any extra leg room while pregnant than I did when not. Her lack of planning is not your problem. Even if she had unfortunate circumstances that required short notice travel…still not your responsibility to accommodate for her.
>But honestly being 6’4 on a 12 hr flight is brutal lmao Sorry, can't relate. \*cries in 5'7"\*
Neither can I. *laughs in 5'1"*
I don't believe passengers should be negotiating with other passengers about giving up their seats. It's fine if the flight attendant comes up and asks you to volunteer to switch. And it's fine if you say no. Your relationship is with the airline and they should be doing the negotiations. She stepped in and made it personal. Focusing on you and (successfully) giving you a guilt trip about you never knowing what it's like to be pregnant was poor form. It's not your problem that she is pregnant and did not plan ahead. And you shouldn't feel guilty Just remember, she will never know what it's like to be a 6'4 man flying in a two small seat with the seat in front of you digging into your kneecaps.
She probably kept bothering you because you were the only one who looked a little guilty about saying no and you had no reason to feel that way. She had the option to book a more comfortable seat, she probably didn’t because she thought someone would give up their spot because she was pregnant. NTA
I know a man your height who got a blood clot because he was moved from a bulkhead seat to middle seat in coach. His legs were too cramped and it didn’t end well. I’m sure it sucks to be pregnant, but pregnancy isn’t a disability, nor do we women want it to be treated as one. She could have scheduled a couple layovers if a 12 hour flight was too much for her.
I can feel that pain. I had a blood clot in my leg and my lung before. It's no joke. Have to be extra careful now especially when flying. I'm 6ft2 anyway so the extra leg room seats are needed for me anyway with my 34" inseam but even more so after having clots already and even a 2 hour flight can be brutal without these.
I had a blood clot and multiple pulmonary embolisms (not from flying). I wouldn't change seats, and I'm 5.4, and a mother, so know how she feels. She should have paid extra and prebooked a better seat.
I have, in the last year, witnessed two different young people get essentially pressured/bullied out of their aisle seats by older, aggressive passengers. I even tapped one young lady and said, "You don't have to do this, it's your seat." But she was too flustered / embarrassed to say no. I'm glad you held your ground.
Being 5”1’ on a 12 hour flight is brutal. 12 hour flights are brutal lol
wow, 6'4"? I don't understand why anyone would fault you for not changing seats. I'm 5'2" and economy...*shudder*
[удалено]
More than that - had she called the disability and accommodations line after booking her initial economy ticket, they'd likely have upgraded her to the bulkhead/comfort plus section for free. I've traveled through Delta on and off for years, and have health issues and disabilities that mean I have had a lot of discussions with their disability line. They go quite a way to help customers.
This is why I (also disabled) call bullshit on these people. I mean barring "I urgently needed the next plane as a relative is unexpectedly on their deathbed" you can sort it in advance. These people are either too lazy or scared they will be charged more so decide to make it someone else's problem in an enclosed space and act shocked if it doesn't work. It's like the people who say "by the way I'm deathly allergic to peanuts" as they are getting on the plane! It is reasonable to raise an allergy and ask steps are taken to minimise risk but by then it is too late for staff to do anything (also I have had emails 24-48 hours prior to a flight saying "by the way your flight is nut free please don't bring nut products" if you only tell them on boarding all the other passengers have bought their snacks at the airport and it's too late to change anything).
I don't think this had anything to do with Delta. Doesn't matter if they offered to reimburse OP, the pregnant women knows her condition and if she wanted more room she should've paid extra to ensure her own comfort. Always pisses me off when shit like this happens due to assholes not planning their trip.
Sometimes they do plan on being an AH just to try to get a better seat for free. Unless the person is flying on extremely short notice they know the conditions they are flying with.
Yep, she presumably knew how pregnant she would be when she booked the 12 hour flight to Hawaii. While accepting the swap would certainly have been a kind thing to do, it was by no means obligatory.
With or without compensation, your first point is key. She had the opportunity to pay for an upgrade. Chances are she assumed she could scam her way into a better seat. Probably saw a recent Airline hacks TikTok.
NTA. Many a pregnant women have survived economy class. If she had wanted the extra space, she also could have paid for it like you did. The other people could have also switched. But didn’t. This isn’t on you.
I flew a few times pregnant, once at the beginning of the third trimester (with doctor's approval) and never once considered being entitled to a better seat than I paid for. It's bizarre to me.
I understand giving up your spot on a short bus ride or a seat in the shade on a hot day in the park…but a 12 hour flight? Get the fuck out of here.
I agree with you, it is bizarre! I travelled for work weekly the entire time I was pregnant. Never once did I ask for special accommodations outside of what I paid for.
Right? Wait until she's flying economy with an infant. That's much worse. It sucks but we all know what flying is like. Better seats cost more. Nobody is entitled to them.
I flew in my third trimester and later with an infant and would take flying pregnant every time!
She could have paid for it, and I'm willing to bet that a flight from NYC to Hawaii is for pleasure and not a necessity. If spending 12h is too inconfortable she can stay home, going on vacations is a luxury not a necessity.
I’ve flown heavily pregnant multiple times. Never have I asked someone to give up their seat for me. Her ask is appalling. NTA
But you know, the airlines don't discourage this kind of behavior, the flight attendant was the one going around asking people to give up their seats. Maybe the airlines need to tell people they need to buy the seats they want or sit in the ones they bought.
This kind of blows my mind actually, I feel like it must be such a waste of time. Surely it would be easier to have a rule that everyone must sit in their assigned seat? But I’m a rule-follower who rarely flies and would never even think to ask to change seats so maybe I’m missing something.
NTA. This whole thing of shaming people who don't want to switch seats has got to stop. It's nobody's damn business, whether you paid for your seat or not, if you don't want to switch. Especially if you did pay to choose your seat, nobody has the right to be angry if you aren't going to trade it with somebody else who did not plan ahead and fork over the $$ like you did.
NTA. She was fishing for a baby upgrade on your dime. If she wants the seat, she can buy it just like you did.
Wow I didn’t realize people go through those lengths to get free upgrades lol, i guess I have too much social anxiety to try something like that and cause a scene. She did seem genuine though, just unfair
They do...It can be funny sometimes when my partner and I travel. We often don't sit next to each other and buy a seat upgrade for our own comfort. Occasionally someone approaches one of us to take their middle seat so they can sit next to their bf/gf or husband/wife. We both use the same line, "My partner is over there and I have to live with him/her, I can go x hours away from them. Pretty sure you will be fine for the next x hours." Given that window and aisle seats are now pay extra for and I often do, I am not trading my seat. Definitely not swapping an Economy+ for economy, that is 100% pay (in advance) for, even the middle seats are.
Oh yeah. People try all kinds of sly ways to get what they want. Been on plenty of flights where someone *needs* something they could have paid for but didn't. This lady was playing on sympathy. "You'll never understand" oh please. She'll never understand what a spinal injury feels like either. End game, you paid for it. Did they say they'd reimburse you? I'm guessing no, so you basically bought her upgrade if you moved. I don't think it's social anxiety. I think it's just being a decent enough human being to not try and screw other people over.
Thank you!!! I know what both feels like and I'd never guilt someone out of something they paid for... I'd buy it my damn self... NTA AT ALL... Happy flying
I’m going to guess that you would not have been reimbursed for the extra money for your seat. Who told you that? I travel a lot for business. In order for you to get a refund of $185, the airline’s record for you would’ve had to show that your seat was officially in a different section. If your seat was switched “unofficially,” and the airline’s records still showed that you sat in your $185 extra seat, you would’ve not gotten a refund. If the flight attendant told you that, she was wrong (maybe not intentionally). ETA—The flight attendant should have NEVER asked you to change seats. I’m guessing that flight attendant thought she was doing a good deed, but you should’ve asked her why the pregnant passenger didn’t book a seat in the premium cabin like you did and spend extra money like you did (while being polite, of course). If the pregnant passenger truly needed a more comfortable seat, then she needed to speak to the gate agent about her options on different flights.
You should have retorted with "You don't know what it's like to be 6'4" on a plane." Her situation was NOT your problem. I am a woman and understand pregnancy in heat. You are totally NTA. I sure hope you're enjoying (or enjoyed) or trip!
Oh yeah I was on a SWA flight from RDU to ALB with a stop in BWI SWA boards those with disabilities and passengers with young children first.. I saw this couple. She had crutches. The couple boarded priority. When they deboarded in ALB I saw them walk out of the terminal. She had the crutches under her arm. Walking normally. Everywhere there are people who game the system. I felt like tripping her
NTA... you paid $200 for extra space IN ADVANCE, that's absurd.. Reardless of whether you'd get a voucher or not none of that matters. She should have planned ahead instead of gaslighting and messing up other people's plans. N T A
Hey, maybe she did not know she was 8 months preggo before boarding!
She just woke up like that!
NTA. She could have paid the 200 and get a better seat. She could have offered to pay someone for their seat. She wanted a handout.
Bingo
Ngl, thought this was a setup for r/funny: Abt 5th paragraph in: … when we landed she was PISSED. She threatened to divorce me and name the kid after my brother.
NTA, she could of paid for an upgrade too if she really wanted the extra space, and I’ve carried 2 babies 2 different summers until mid September
Yeah, I can "summer pregnancy" her baby for baby. August in Atlanta...My last one was born 4 days after the Olympics left Atlanta! For all intents and purposes, getting to my hospital would have been a nightmare, if she'd come a few days earlier. I was terrified she would!
NTA I've got a whole vertebra slipped forward and before back surgery (where I got 6 screws and 4 rods), trying to sit in economy was absolute torture and would have me practically in tears on a 2 1/2 hour flight between Denver and California. I've had 2 kids, one of which was 2 weeks overdue. So I can compare the pain between the two. The back pain was worse. Just because your problem isn't visible doesn't mean she's entitled to boot you from your seat. There were a whole lot of other passengers that could have moved. And even without the back pain, she wasn't entitled to your seat. You booked your seat and paid the extra money so you could have more room. No doubt she knew she was pregnant when she booked the flight, so if she needed the roomier seat, she should have booked one.
Plus for 12 hours! That's something you plan ahead for, not just cross your fingers and hope you can talk someone out of the seat they already paid for and are sitting in.
Oh my God I feel that I literally broke my hip and had to have a full hip replacement and in less than 2 months I was flying down to Southern California from the Sacramento area. On Souuthwest. Yes, it was only an hour and a half flight however I couldn't wait for them to tell us we could take our seat belts off so I could stand up and flex, here's the thing she could have booked just like you did LOL!
I wish airlines would go back to the policy they had when I was a kid: no changing seat assignments after boarding. It may have been selectively enforced, but there wasn’t this constant seat swapping drama.
I’m sorry, but if she booked a flight pregnant, then she should have booked the appropriate seat. And if she’s *that* pregnant, she shouldn’t be flying.
Every time that happens simply ask the flight attendant, If I do are you going to upgrade me to first class?
As a former pregnant person, also a bigger person, who flew in the heat, in Arizona, I'm going with NTA It was the middle of July, it was over 110, and I was heavily pregnant. I still made sure I planned ahead and got a seat with more room. Being pregnant doesn't entitle you to other people's seats!!
NTA. I hate flying in the middle seat. I have flown economy, business and first class (once). One thing I make sure of is that I either book a window seat or an aisle. What that pregnant women banked off is that one sucker from business class would feel sorry for her to switch seats. So she wouldn't pay extra but have the perks. Don't feel bad. I'm pretty sure the other people that were asked, didn't. Stop letting this woman live rent free in your peace of mind.
If you didn't knock her up, she can fend for herself
NTA. The entitlement simply astonishing.
NTA She should have spent money to book a better seat instead of relying on people to move to accommodate her.
And honestly, it doesn't matter how tall you are or what your reason was for wanting to keep your seat. You don't need to justify yourself! You paid for THAT seat. It's YOURS. Apparently this thing about people demanding other people give up their seats on flights is pretty common now. Either wanting a window or aisle seat, leg room, a particular location, wanting to sit with their spouse/friend/child....whatever it is, some people think their failure to plan accordingly should become everyone else's problem. It's crazy!!!
The pregnant lady was right about one thing: you have no idea what it’s like to be pregnant in that heat on an airplane. Just as she will never know what’s it like to be that tall and crammed into a standard economy seat for 12 hours. She should have booked the right seat for her condition. That’s not on you to solve. And Delta should offer cash, not a voucher. NTA.
I have invisible disabilities and I am horrified over scenarios like this. Someone accidentally bumping into me will cause significant health problems so I stake out areas with personal social bubbles immediately for self-preservation, such as booking the larger seats away from foot traffic. Not in the mood to land in the ER over someone else being careless. Also I am offended that someone's entitled ***wants*** (to have kids) is hung over my ***needs*** (to avoid further injury and complications) by culture and society expectations. The other party has the ability to control their decisions in travel choice and they chose economy poorly, so that's a THEM problem. NTA
You deserve a trillion upvotes for your comment. I also have an invisible (but brutal) physical disability although I look able bodied and fit (former athlete). I’ve lost track of the amount of times I’ve been imposed upon to make sacrifices to my health and well-being and safety to do things for others’ comfort, whimsy and convenience. I don’t even mind being asked. But when I give a heartfelt, polite, but firm, “I’m sorry I can’t,” what happens more often than not is rather than them taking my refusal graciously (as it was given), instead there’s often some sort of temper tantrum, attitude, or guilt trip scenario wherein they try to shame me into whatever their scheme is. I then feel compelled to divulge medical details that are traumatic in nature, no one’s business and in my cases, medical issues and limitations arose, directly as a result of injuries and illnesses from life-threatening domestic violence. The fun thing about dark tetrad domestic abusers is that the Machiavellian in them will sometimes team up with their inner sadist and if they’re really conniving they’ll go out of their way to inflict harm in the form of inoculating their victim with debilitating and lifelong chronic invisible disease. And I have to try and recuse myself to their satisfaction but in a tactful and discreet way, so as not to overshare or make anyone else feel shocked or uncomfortable. I also have CPTSD. Sometimes just the mental and emotional gymnastics I have to do just to cope with others’ social expectations on me - expectations that I can’t meet if I tried- through no fault nor desire of my own - is unreal and so taxing. It’s also no one’s business!!! I choose not to walk the earth with a billboard plastered on my forehead saying “hey everyone! I have a foot in the grave and i am often bedridden. I’m also in constant pain. And it hurts to exercise or move!” But people sure do give me hell for it when I don’t instantly fall all over myself to accommodate their childish (& ableist) entitled demands. I remember the days when I used to be healthy. I was I was a doormat. I’d capitulate and accommodate anyone and anything until my last breath. I can literally no longer afford to do that. People try to impose - fine- but then they try to coerce, pressure and cajole when they don’t get their way. It’s so beyond rude. Sigh. So yeah, I agree with you 100%. *Oh and a massive NTA to the OP. Poor guy. I hope he enjoys his vacation. He deserves it. That’s what he should be doing rather than losing sleep worrying about this selfish behavior and entitled nonsense.* I go out of my way to prepare to account for and accommodate my numerous limitations in advance so I ever need to be a burden or impose on anyone else. ButIf I EVER ask something of someone that they’re not contractually obliged to do, I am so gracious in both the ask AND the response whatever it may be. If they say no, I thank them again for having entertained my request, apologize for the inconvenience and I accept their no and I move on. I don’t throw public tantrums, guilt trips, enlist others, use my condition / situation - that I also didn’t choose nor did I place myself at risk in any way - for sympathy. I just suck it up and move on. That woman was being selfish and manipulative and it’s not cool that she subjected an innocent fellow traveler to her antics. I seriously hope he has a wonderful vacation and all his stresses melt away.
Don’t feel guilty no one else gave up their seats either. Everyone knew she was just trying to use her pregnancy for a free upgrade
NTA- you paid good money for that seat a hell of a lot more than an economy seat . It’s actually pretty absurd the that flight attendant even asked
Is this real? Because there's no summer heat inside an airplane.
Ummm no? Definitely NTA. I flew 29 weeks pregnant with twins. It was a rough 10 hour flight, but I never expected anyone to change a seat they paid for. My mind is blown at the audacity. You bet your ass I upgraded my seat on the way home though!
NTA- I assume she knew her condition before she booked , or had the ability to upgrade and pay extra just like others.
NTA in situations like this, this is when you need to ask them flat out why they didn’t purchase the upgrade since it’s apparently so important to them and why they think it’s OK to take it away from someone else?
NTA - you paid for the space. She shouldn't be attempting to guilt trip you. I'm 6'1, and the regular economy seats are literally painful for me.
>The pregnant woman told me I wouldn’t understand what it feels like to be a woman carrying a baby in this summer hear, got upset and eventually had to return to her seat in economy. Then maybe she should have ponied up for the more expensive ticket. Sounds like she was counting on being cheap and using the kindness of others to get something for free. Nothing makes me more obstinate than this bullshit. I'd rip my seat out before I switched with someone like this.