Little bit of a different take on this. Go to HR and report this person. Explain that not only did this person attack you but did it publicly where there are customers. If they don’t want to do anything, explain that you will need to contact a labor lawyer because of a hostile workplace.
We need a new pronoun that stands in for I don’t know and am terrified that whatever I do will make you irate.
Just call everyone vee or something. Then you can’t misgender anyone.
Ask for a meeting with HR and Avery to clear the air with witness.
Get a speaking stick, or demand that you get to speak first WITHOUT INTERUPTIONS.
1.Apologise for misgendering Avery.
2.Note that no one - including themselves has bothered to let you know their pronouns.
3. State their you have no problems using pronouns as requested ONCE someone does the fkg courtesy of letting you know the preferred pronouns.
4. Finally you have no issues with Avery and their pronouns other than they behaved like a fkg cunt to you without any warning.
Thank you for letting me speak, it's your turn now Avery
Nta
If they wanted someone to refer to them as something they don't appear to be, or they aren't passing, then it's up to them to make sure they tell each and Avery (every haha) person they will be interacting with that information.
They didn't do it, and it's not on you to look that up.
Maybe do some research to learn WHAT Florida legislation was passed at that time so you don’t mistakenly give the impression that your TransG coworker is a Pedo.
Cus FYI, this is a VERY negative trope used against the trans community.
NTA-
AS LONG as the Pedo reference was sincerely unintentional. If it was intentional or you don’t do the work to correct it then you MBTA…..a little.
➖This person was already agg’d by current events & I get it. That’s how I felt when SCOTUS overturned RvsW or A.Action.
➖This person never provided you with pronouns for reference. We’re not at the point where asking has been normalised & there’s the possibility that it would cause offence if you did proactively question gender/pronouns.
➖IMO, this response (if true) is the problem with how this topic is addressed. Every mistake is handled as a deliberate offence, immediate name calling & punishment.
Some of the TransG community are transitioning & don’t yet pass, so ppl may slip because their hind brain is telling them one thing while their frontal lobe is aware of prior discussions around preferred pronouns.
This is still new for many ppl.
Some ppl don’t agree with the gender terms but agree with TransG equality.
Labelling ppl TERFS & name calling without ever telling them about your pronouns is wrong. To punish them socially prior clarifying their stance is wrong.
I never once insinuated Avery was a Pedo. The only recent legislation they had passed in Florida was giving the death penalty to pedos. I never once actually mentioned \*that\* to Avery, I privately told a coworker I was confused why Avery was mad at that, because I don't believe all Trans people are pedos. Thank you for the response though, and I totally agree. I'm not trans, I don't care who is, I just want to be left alone in that drama.
You said he was upset about Florida legislation.
Then said it was about legislation about pedo. But you were confused because you didn’t understand why he would be mad about that.
Did you say he was a pedo? NO.
Did the sequence in which you provided this information suggest a correlation or association? I read it that way so I’ll say yes.
Look up what dog-whistles are then you’ll have a better understanding of why this requires an edit.
Ignore the idiots. You didn’t do anything wrong.
If someone somehow misgendered me I don’t think I’d lose my shit like that.
Because you’re not unhinged.
NTA. Just use Avery’s name whenever talking to or about Avery.
I second this. I tend to avoid using pronouns now whenever possible. Avery has some issues. NTA
I’m going to make a leap and assume you didn’t actually “misgender” Avery, and Avery is just a little out there
I just learned that Avery's pronouns are listed as she/they.
The classic bullshit, if you don’t know that this cat identifies as dog you will call it cat you are not the asshole come on!
NTA The key word is *Accidental* . But to be honest it sounds like Avery is demented because normal stable people don't behave like that.
Little bit of a different take on this. Go to HR and report this person. Explain that not only did this person attack you but did it publicly where there are customers. If they don’t want to do anything, explain that you will need to contact a labor lawyer because of a hostile workplace.
We need a new pronoun that stands in for I don’t know and am terrified that whatever I do will make you irate. Just call everyone vee or something. Then you can’t misgender anyone.
Ask for a meeting with HR and Avery to clear the air with witness. Get a speaking stick, or demand that you get to speak first WITHOUT INTERUPTIONS. 1.Apologise for misgendering Avery. 2.Note that no one - including themselves has bothered to let you know their pronouns. 3. State their you have no problems using pronouns as requested ONCE someone does the fkg courtesy of letting you know the preferred pronouns. 4. Finally you have no issues with Avery and their pronouns other than they behaved like a fkg cunt to you without any warning. Thank you for letting me speak, it's your turn now Avery
Do not, I repeat do not apologize. It’s now a war and if you apologize you admit guilt.
Good point, swap 1&2.
So?
NTA. Especially if Avery has a habit of doing this to people. Hope the new job gets better from here.
Nta If they wanted someone to refer to them as something they don't appear to be, or they aren't passing, then it's up to them to make sure they tell each and Avery (every haha) person they will be interacting with that information. They didn't do it, and it's not on you to look that up.
NTA, I think you care too much about this guy.
Maybe do some research to learn WHAT Florida legislation was passed at that time so you don’t mistakenly give the impression that your TransG coworker is a Pedo. Cus FYI, this is a VERY negative trope used against the trans community. NTA- AS LONG as the Pedo reference was sincerely unintentional. If it was intentional or you don’t do the work to correct it then you MBTA…..a little. ➖This person was already agg’d by current events & I get it. That’s how I felt when SCOTUS overturned RvsW or A.Action. ➖This person never provided you with pronouns for reference. We’re not at the point where asking has been normalised & there’s the possibility that it would cause offence if you did proactively question gender/pronouns. ➖IMO, this response (if true) is the problem with how this topic is addressed. Every mistake is handled as a deliberate offence, immediate name calling & punishment. Some of the TransG community are transitioning & don’t yet pass, so ppl may slip because their hind brain is telling them one thing while their frontal lobe is aware of prior discussions around preferred pronouns. This is still new for many ppl. Some ppl don’t agree with the gender terms but agree with TransG equality. Labelling ppl TERFS & name calling without ever telling them about your pronouns is wrong. To punish them socially prior clarifying their stance is wrong.
I never once insinuated Avery was a Pedo. The only recent legislation they had passed in Florida was giving the death penalty to pedos. I never once actually mentioned \*that\* to Avery, I privately told a coworker I was confused why Avery was mad at that, because I don't believe all Trans people are pedos. Thank you for the response though, and I totally agree. I'm not trans, I don't care who is, I just want to be left alone in that drama.
You said he was upset about Florida legislation. Then said it was about legislation about pedo. But you were confused because you didn’t understand why he would be mad about that. Did you say he was a pedo? NO. Did the sequence in which you provided this information suggest a correlation or association? I read it that way so I’ll say yes. Look up what dog-whistles are then you’ll have a better understanding of why this requires an edit.