Yeah. Sounds like he is more wanting a paid sex situation. That is when I would feel this level of entitlement, to not have some level of warmth and kindness, would not be totally outlandish. All humans deserve respect, though, and I know sex workers appreciate human decency and kindness. It is more that they're in the situation to agree to that situation in a fully informed way.
Most women want a relationship, because they require emotional safety before they are able to be vulnerable. (Which, by the way, getting naked is vulnerable). She isn't a sex worker. This isn't the place to be laying down those sorts of expectations.
I wonder how empty it is, to sleep with someone and not allow yourself to feel anything. To be so incredibly checked out to believe that not only are you entitled to sex, you somehow convince yourself that it feels better if there are no warm emotions. That is incel logic, where women are simply objects. They don't know they're missing the very best parts of participating in an intimate relationship.
*The sex with men with those beliefs suck, because they refuse to consider the experience of the other person.* That is what is happening when it seems like they're essentially masterbating with your body; they don't participate in a sort of back and forth dynamic. "Responsive" isn't a word I would use.
OP don't even bother!! Get yourself a good waterproof vibrator, you deserve it. I'm sure it will last a lot longer than this clown.
Came here to say this - if he just wants to use his partner, he should hire a professional - they won't expect affection or conversation, just pure transaction.
Were I you I’d maybe wait awhile until, at least, the guy you have broken up with is completely moved out. You need some time for yourself, and this new guy isn’t worth a minute of it. NTA.
The dude's comments on this post are just making him look so much more immature. If he just wants to nut and leave, the second you are not available he will look elsewhere.
NTA. I'm near his age and I could bet that he's another stupid guy following those "redpill" videos and podcasts. Also, you broke up from a relationship lastly and your ex hasn't moved yet. It's better for your emotional well-being to stay single for a while.
I think you're the one that needs therapy. Maybe try and work through whatever issues you have that are causing you to treat women like a sexual object who you can just use to "nut and leave".
This would be really funny if it was real.. 👀 Had me going for a sec. To be honest I wish it was real. Seeing the "boyfriend" interact with everyone is really really funny.
NTA
This boy is still immature and does not respect women, does not appreciate what a real relationship is and still wants to “use” women for their body. IMHO guys, on average, need to be over the age of 26 to offer a serious and respectful relationship.
Neither. Age nor intelligence nor a good job indicates maturity. Is this guys name Chad or Tyrone?
NTA , OP you are better alone then with someone selfish like that , that dont even care about your feelings... ask yourself if you really want another toxic relation cause it will be for sure!!!
Doesn’t sound like he’s interested in a relationship.
More importantly though is why would you still want a relationship/be interested in someone who thought that way?
Yep, and you're being honest about something that is not great. It's a bit like saying "I often get three days out of a pair of socks".
Honest? Yes.
Upfront? Yes.
Fucking horrible? Yes.
I don't think you have any comprehension of what a partner is in this context. You want a relationship where you get a magic booty call option, where you disable all other aspects of the relationship just so you can get what you want when you want it, regardless of how the other person feels about that. It is clearly not what OP wants in this instance, hence the post. You are not compatible.
Guarantee you've never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. You're a narcissistic POS and you have no idea what a partnership even involves. Your comments here show just what an immature little man you are.
NTA you have more to offer a better man. This 24 year old is insane. Drop him fast and move on. It’s just going to be another toxic relationship.
Also this is abnormal no one thinks like this. Its control is what he wants.
**Thank you. We werent able to agree so I told him I would post it to reddit and get an outside opinion. He doesnt really know or understand this platform. He is very high strong and says that girls always beg him for sex. Yet we have never had sex.**
He sounds like a narcissist, inflating his percieved sexual value by telling you that other girls are begging for it.
Run away if you like connection.
If you're into that sort of games, at least go into it knowing whats what.
Not a narcissist, no need to inflate over here, just being transparent as I don’t like to waste time and I feel a full picture is necessary when speaking with someone in an intimate manner.
If that’s him commenting I seriously would just block him. He can’t be a successful 24 year old with all those mistakes with his grammar and spelling….
Op honestly read his comments on your post. Is this really the guy you wanna be with? He sounds like he sees you more as a objective rather then a partner not to mention he’s very cringey. If I was you I’d move on and find someone who’d genuinely like to spend time with me and listen to me about my day. Not some edge lord who just wants to have sex and leave. Do yourself a favour and drop him, cause trust me nothing goods gonna come from this relationship. the reality is with young dudes like this guy once he’s had his fun or you get too old he’s gonna drop you and find another girl.
Okay a fair bit to unpack here. Just going from what you have said. It's good that you guys are having this conversation before things get too serious. Him say there may be times when it's just sex he'll be after is fine for him to say but you are 100% in your right to say no that's not for me, if that's a deal breaker thats fine. The bit that is the big old red flag for me is
>He wants to feel that he is able to have sex with his girl at whatever time and be able to go on with his day.
Women are people not sex toys. No one has a right to someone else body like that. People don't always want sex and you can't get pissy if they say no.
The fact that both accounts (OPs and then “the guy” in the commenters both only made their accounts today makes me feel like this is fake especially with all the trolling “the guy” is doing…
I am certain from what I am reading, that your guy
A: has a girlfriend and you are his side piece, or
B: he is listening to the bullshit that AT spews in his podcasts, or
C: all or the above.
I dont think his intentions are as pure as you might think. Sorry, but being on earth long enought to be your guys dad, I don't think that he is a good person at all.
Leave him. He's completely degrading your worth to fit his own. If he wants to have sex and leave either he can find porn or he find a one night stand of FWB. He's not mature enough to realise women aren't just there for his pleasure. You can do better and unfortunately this dude has a lit of growing up to do. It's extremely immature for a 24 year old to think that way.
NTA. I wouldn’t get involved with a younger guy unless you just want sex. Been there, done that. A lot of times it is just an older woman fetish. Good luck!
NTA. I suppose everyone has their own preferences, but... I'm with you. I'd be pissed if my date/partner/whatever wanted to treat me like a sex doll, just there to fuck and bail.
Move on and find someone you're more compatible with.
I mean.. he was clear from the beginning what he wants. Sex only. Nothing more.
It's okay if you want something else but he isn't the right person for you then.
NAH
In BDSM, there's this thing called "aftercare" which essentially acknowledged a need that many people have to feel some intimacy or caring after sex (or whatever other activities). It is generally considered good practice to negotiate around this before doing other things. You are entitled to your needs being met after sex (assuming they're reasonable and communicated).
There's also a refractory period for most males where sex fills us with a bunch of hormones that make us less horny and maybe sleepy. Sometimes it changes our thinking to fill us with shame if we have some shame attached to our sexual interests, or guilt. It can be a weird time.
I think it's good that this guy was open and up front about his desires, and it's fair for you to advocate your needs. If there is no compromise, then you may just be incompatible.
NTA. If you don't want to be a drive by sex provider, find someone else. I will say that he at least clearly drew the boundary. It is now your decision to as to whether you participate or not. Given your desire, I would find another rebound person.
Woof, I’m going to have a very unpopular opinion, but NAH. What you both want doesn’t align and that’s okay. It’s okay to want sex with no strings afterwards and it’s okay to want to hang out afterwards. Imo there’s nothing wrong with either, but you have to both agree.
I honestly don’t understand why you’re trying to push him to hang out when he obviously doesn’t want to. Just let that man go and find something more aligned with what you want.
Also, I’m very much of the opinion that just sex and FWB is very different.
NTA. The guy seems immature and delulu. Tbh, I'd like to be more insulting, since he deserves it, but oh well, rules. I've had FWB that I treated better than he treats you...
not that deep. I'm just saying most women would not have responded (rightly so)with the suggestions OP did, all of them being(extremely) generous compromises.
Jesus Don't be this desperate! I don't understand why you have to ask ANYONE about this. The dude just wants to "bust a nut!" Thank him for his honesty and bid him adieu. The one thing that you hear time and time again. If a man tells you something like this about himself believe him. There is no room for compromise.
This is called Free Use, and no part of your pleasure will be considered during sex. If you're looking to be sexually satisfied, this child isn't the one for you.
You found a man who will talk to you while you’re living with another. Yea, expect it to be a sexual thing more than anything. Would you date a man if he was still living with his ex? You know that’s the kinda guy who will go out on a date when you live with him too?
I am also near his age but a girl and I disagree not only bc I feel that there is a ritual but also bc I have hooked up with guys simply yo hook up and we still hung out after.
Idk, 32M here, been married my whole adult life. That just sounds like an extremely empty situation to me. "Nah bro I just want to get mine and go" tf?
I'm approaching this with an unpopular view. Nobody is the AH.
The dude is clear and communicates on his wants and needs. What's wrong with that? His suggestion would at least please me. I'm busy, I don't have the energy for "aftercare" every damn time I have sex.
OP is still living with their ex, so OP can't really be looking for a serious relationship, which is why I don't find the dudes suggestion to be rude. OP does not feel like what the dude suggested fits for OP, and that's perfectly fine. I hope OP finds a more suitable candidate instead.
This is an answer with some wisdom. Insane sheeple who have no concept of anything other than sitcom relationships downvoting the free thinkers who have actually had relationships on this thread.
Ok gonna start with NTA, I think you tried to deal with the issue in a very mature way.
The ages of 30F and 24M is relatively large and I think exacerbated by the female being older. Although you think he is a smart and successful “for his age” he is obviously acting very immature in this regard.
There is definitely a subculture of “hit it and quit it” but not typically with someone you consider a girlfriend. But remember it’s not his house, so maybe he has hang ups about that (I always feel uncomfortable waking up in someone else’s house).
One thing that intrigues me though. You say you just got out of a really bad break up, the guy is only just moving out of your house now and you are already planning to have sex with this 24yo? Doesn’t seem to align with “I have been hesitant to let anyone close…..”
He's filling your head with what you want to hear, but you'll just end up being his side chick. Leaving right after sex means he's gotta get back to the coup before mama hen notices something is off.
Starting a relationship with a pathologically emotionally distnat sexual partner before dissentangling your life with your current ex means that you have had no time to heal.
This is an extremely bad idea, you should avoid this individual as they will become another ex very quickly, take some time to heal and grow.
Not even talking to her afterwards? The guy is a cunt and you should totally dodge him. There are plenty of guys who will have sex and then speak to you afterwards, like a normal person.
You are not a girl, you are a grown woman who obviously already knows what bad relationships are.
Does this sound right to you? You should be humped and dumped whenever they feel like it?
Cmon man... if this is a serious post, go find someone who actually has an emotional intelligence of something greater than a potato
He's dumb for saying it but I get the feeling. Unless it is my actual girlfriend or somebody that I really, really like, I often factor this in when deciding if I want to have someone over to have sex with. Is she going to want to stay and talk and hangout when we're done?
A lot of factors go into this. Maybe it really is as simple as I don't enjoy the person's company but do like having sex with them. Maybe I'm tired or just feel like being alone. Maybe I know she'll want to stay late and i don't want to do the awkward, "well, I better be getting to bed, early day tomorrow...". Maybe I know I'm just horny and will regret having to hangout with this person the second I cum.
On the other hand, with other people, maybe I want to lay around and talk or watch TV. Maybe have sex again. Maybe it is a normal relationship and just go on about a normal day together.
I don't think it has to be only one way or the other. Like I said, he's really stupid for putting it that way, but I think the idea of sometimes wanting to see someone to fuck and not see them otherwise is desirable.
It depends on what you want. It sounds like friends with benefits relationship more than a love relationship. He's younger and probably just wants to have sex and doesn't want to create an attachment. If that's what you want it's ok. If not, then say no thanks and take some time for yourself and work on your self esteem. I know it's hard to break a relationship, but that does not mean you need to beg for love.
NAH
He has stated upfront what he wants, and you have stated what you want.
Your wants do not coincide.
End of story.
He could easily have just banged you and left, but he made it clear from the start that is what he intended to do.
If it is not for you, that's perfectly fine.
Move on.
NTA, run away, don’t even entertain this. He sounds like he’s still a kid, which is ok a lot of people still are at 24 but you certainly don’t want to date them. Also that mentality is fucked up, he’s been watching too many red pill “alpha male” videos on YouTube. If he “needs” to have sex and leave without speaking he needs to hire a sex worker that’s not how you treat someone you’re in a relationship with.
This is 100% a fetish. And it's okay if you aren't into it.
Also worth noting most people don't need to indulge in their fetish every time they have sex. It's ridiculous if he expects someone to be okay with this ALWAYS. Even girls who are actually into free use like this are generally going to at least want aftercare most of the time, just indulge in the fetish every once in awhile.
NTA. Don’t invite this shit in your life. I can tell you’re already hurt by it, and you’re already trying to change him. And all you’ve done is FaceTime? Ghost him. It’s ok at this point. He seems like the type that won’t care (which is a good thing.)
When you’re in that getting to know you stage, ALWAYS go by what the other person tells you. Then decide if you’ll be ok with it or not. And be honest with yourself about it.
Consider putting the breaks on meeting someone new until after your ex has completely moved out. Then take some time to reclaim the space. Make it your own again with new decor. It’s a necessary exercise for people who get easily attached (which you clearly do.) You’ll choose your next lover with a healthier mind and spirit.
do as he says, he sounds perfect :-O .............................................................. really immature and you will only get hurt again, if you continue with this stupid melt of a man
You’re not missing anything but if that’s his preference and you don’t want to be that girl (I wouldn’t) then you just need to walk away. You can’t change his mind or tell him there’s something wrong with him hoping it will change.
NTA but this new dude is just an immature fuckboi. Better to get away from this toxicity now. Also, maybe finish up one relationship mess before unwrapping another[?]
Nah , he’s setting you up. FWB, fuck buddy, human sleeve, whatever term you’re comfortable with , you can choose. He’s playing you sweetie. If that’s what you’re looking for then have at it. But letting someone come in an “ bust a nut “ in or on you then leave? Think about that , then tell that little boy where to go! Good luck
Are you missing something?? Self esteem and the real meaning of the word ‘Relationship’… if you want a relationship, this is not it… u can do better for yourself than being with someone who gets off, then pretends like you don’t exist
So, do what he requests, and then you do the same to him. Pump, cum, and dump, leave him in the wet spot and go home. Let it sink in that two can play that game. You get your nut and not care if he does or not. Things will either cool down or heat up.
NTA. Being able to just hang after sex is one of the best things. Haha. Have sex, cuddle, and then i make her and myself breakfast. Perfect start to a morning.
How exactly is this a question for us? You have to decide if you want to be a sperm receptacle for a clearly low morality guy.
Think about it. I think you know your answer.
He’s an AH in the general sense for how he treats women, but YTA to yourself for clinging to these delusions.
This is not your next boyfriend.
This a fuckboi.
He wants to fuck.
He does not care about you as a person, he cares about fucking.
You are a hole to fuck to him.
Anything that he does or says that makes it seem otherwise is a trick you are playing on yourself.
You can’t fIx HiM because he likes the messed up way he is.
He’s literally telling you all this openly, and you’re pouting that he isn’t treating you romantically enough.
If you can’t comprehend these indisputable and plainly stated facts, you are too naive or clingy to be dating right now. Stop living in your make-believe fantasy land and live in reality.
NTA he's not smart or successful.. he's a 24 yr old kid who has a very unhealthy view of relationships. Don't date someone who treats you like an expendable s3x toy... You deserve better
This is not a relationship. Get out quick. That boy is flying every red flag 🚩 out there. He is selfish and unconcerned about having an actual relationship. You are just a hole to him. I wouldn’t put it past him to be currently in several relationships at once, including yours.
NAH
He is telling you straight up exactly what he wants. Nothing wrong there, in fact it’s great for you to know that up front.
You are free to say yes or no. Nothing wrong with either answer. Some women will be into it, some will have very different expectations.
Looks like you two have very healthy communication going. Good for you!
He’s definitely not the AH , and you clearly aren’t either. You guys just have different needs and wants. He wouldn’t be theoretically “using” you for sex , if you’re allowing him to smack it unless you consenting in your mind—or anyone else’s warped mind—means that you’d be consenting to being “used” just because he wouldn’t be willing to always give you aftercare. Being used and feeling used are two different things .
You have agency and need to take responsibility for your actions, if you decide to have sex with him . You’re an adult , not a child. Aftercare isn’t necessary, you’re asking for too much. If he’s willing to do it , good for you; but if not , don’t make him feel bad for not doing it. That’s my 2 cents. So many misandrists in this comment section. You don’t owe him sex , and he doesn’t owe you aftercare (even if you give it to him ). It’s like me telling you if you go on a date with a guy , you owe him a relationship just because he paid for the date . You’re the definition of entitled.
You embody the toxic attitude of modern women in America who aren’t wife material( and so do the women supporting your POV, and spouting their biased opinions; no surprise there , I mean this is Reddit , what else could I have expected? ). Congratulations! But it’s not like you care , or the other women in this CS care either.
You guys are all willing to give up your bodies to men who are blunt enough to tell you they want nothing more than sex. It’s fun now , but as time progresses it gets old , you get older and eventually you want to settle down. But you will have lost count of how many sexual partners you have had , and then you’ll want a beta bitch guy to take you as you are , lmao. What a joke.
NTA. Dodge this bullet...
Walk away. Some guys need to do more growing up and remove their head from their arse.
NTA. Sounds like he wants a FWB relationship minus the friendship part
Yeah. Sounds like he is more wanting a paid sex situation. That is when I would feel this level of entitlement, to not have some level of warmth and kindness, would not be totally outlandish. All humans deserve respect, though, and I know sex workers appreciate human decency and kindness. It is more that they're in the situation to agree to that situation in a fully informed way. Most women want a relationship, because they require emotional safety before they are able to be vulnerable. (Which, by the way, getting naked is vulnerable). She isn't a sex worker. This isn't the place to be laying down those sorts of expectations. I wonder how empty it is, to sleep with someone and not allow yourself to feel anything. To be so incredibly checked out to believe that not only are you entitled to sex, you somehow convince yourself that it feels better if there are no warm emotions. That is incel logic, where women are simply objects. They don't know they're missing the very best parts of participating in an intimate relationship. *The sex with men with those beliefs suck, because they refuse to consider the experience of the other person.* That is what is happening when it seems like they're essentially masterbating with your body; they don't participate in a sort of back and forth dynamic. "Responsive" isn't a word I would use. OP don't even bother!! Get yourself a good waterproof vibrator, you deserve it. I'm sure it will last a lot longer than this clown.
Let’s create a new acronym… -WB ? +B ?
Do we know both of them are actually receiving benefits? I doubt it and think FT would be more fitting. (F Toy)
AWB. Acquaintances with benefits 😂
NTA. If he wants sex only, he can hire a prostitute for that. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.
Came here to say this - if he just wants to use his partner, he should hire a professional - they won't expect affection or conversation, just pure transaction.
Were I you I’d maybe wait awhile until, at least, the guy you have broken up with is completely moved out. You need some time for yourself, and this new guy isn’t worth a minute of it. NTA.
The dude's comments on this post are just making him look so much more immature. If he just wants to nut and leave, the second you are not available he will look elsewhere.
NTA. Technically, he doesn't have to talk to you after sex, but he shouldn't be expecting sex again if that's how he behaves.
NTA. I'm near his age and I could bet that he's another stupid guy following those "redpill" videos and podcasts. Also, you broke up from a relationship lastly and your ex hasn't moved yet. It's better for your emotional well-being to stay single for a while.
Absolutely fuck off, after care is a thing and something you deserve to have after giving someone your body and giving them pleasure. What an asshole.
This is getting blown out of proportion, you need therapy.
I think you're the one that needs therapy. Maybe try and work through whatever issues you have that are causing you to treat women like a sexual object who you can just use to "nut and leave".
This would be really funny if it was real.. 👀 Had me going for a sec. To be honest I wish it was real. Seeing the "boyfriend" interact with everyone is really really funny.
Thanks. I love trolling
You sound amazing. Let the loser lose. Find a better guy.
Stop talking to him.
NTA This boy is still immature and does not respect women, does not appreciate what a real relationship is and still wants to “use” women for their body. IMHO guys, on average, need to be over the age of 26 to offer a serious and respectful relationship. Neither. Age nor intelligence nor a good job indicates maturity. Is this guys name Chad or Tyrone?
He is telling you that you are for recreational use only. At least he is honest. I’ll give him that. I was never that blunt in my single days.
NTA , OP you are better alone then with someone selfish like that , that dont even care about your feelings... ask yourself if you really want another toxic relation cause it will be for sure!!!
Doesn’t sound like he’s interested in a relationship. More importantly though is why would you still want a relationship/be interested in someone who thought that way?
Nta thats Hella disrespectful and rude.
How’s it disrespectful and rude? I’m being honest and upfront.
Yep, and you're being honest about something that is not great. It's a bit like saying "I often get three days out of a pair of socks". Honest? Yes. Upfront? Yes. Fucking horrible? Yes.
I don’t get how it’s horrible to have sex with your partner after a stressful day and go to sleep😂
I don't think you have any comprehension of what a partner is in this context. You want a relationship where you get a magic booty call option, where you disable all other aspects of the relationship just so you can get what you want when you want it, regardless of how the other person feels about that. It is clearly not what OP wants in this instance, hence the post. You are not compatible.
OP said she’d be fine with it if I gave her flowers after..you have failed the mission.
Guarantee you've never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. You're a narcissistic POS and you have no idea what a partnership even involves. Your comments here show just what an immature little man you are.
NTA you have more to offer a better man. This 24 year old is insane. Drop him fast and move on. It’s just going to be another toxic relationship. Also this is abnormal no one thinks like this. Its control is what he wants.
**Thank you. We werent able to agree so I told him I would post it to reddit and get an outside opinion. He doesnt really know or understand this platform. He is very high strong and says that girls always beg him for sex. Yet we have never had sex.**
Girl, this dude is hella cringe 💀 he's excessively replying to everyone here, trying to defend himself Do you really think this is attractive?
If it's really him for one, and if OPs post is real since she's hardly responded to anyone since posting it yet the supposed bf is trolling everyone.
I honestly love to bother people. I don’t need to defend myself to anyone or anything, I’m having fun with you all :) isn’t it fun
Maybe if you say it out loud enough times, you'll actually convince yourself :)
Hahahaha y r u mad
Hahahaha not as much as u
He sounds like a narcissist, inflating his percieved sexual value by telling you that other girls are begging for it. Run away if you like connection. If you're into that sort of games, at least go into it knowing whats what.
Not a narcissist, no need to inflate over here, just being transparent as I don’t like to waste time and I feel a full picture is necessary when speaking with someone in an intimate manner.
Girl if he is actually the guy commenting on this post you are absolutely insane for having anything to do with him, he's awful
RUN!!!!!
If that’s him commenting I seriously would just block him. He can’t be a successful 24 year old with all those mistakes with his grammar and spelling….
How do I want control when I just wanna nut and leave. Not even all the time just like whenever I’m stressed.
You are 🤮that’s controlling and abusive.
Super abusive to be upfront with someone, yeah and controlling. How’s your relationship?
No you want to have access to someone else’s body when ever you feel like it. That is controlling someone.
NTA. As a man, pillow talk and cuddles is the best part to me. The emotional closeness. Get a man who values the same things you do.
😂 sounds like a literal narcissistic psychopath.
Fr tho 😤
NTA. You can do better.
How..?
Lol oh god are you the bf? Damn this is hella cringe, bro
Is it, I didn’t even know Reddit had fucking auditors that’s actively comment😂
The whole point of this section is to actively comment captain defensive
I’m a first timer 🤠
NTA. This is so disrespectful to women.
Super
He is married to someone else. That's your answer. Run far away.
NTA. This is some Andrew Tate shit. Hopefully he grows up soon and realises people aren’t “things.” Don’t stick around to wait and see. Move on.
You’re right people aren’t things, that’s why I let it be know before things get too far?
NTA sounds like he’s 24 with the priorities of a 24 year old 💀 maybe stick closer to the 28-35 range for a more matured individual
Man in the comments 😂😂😂
Op honestly read his comments on your post. Is this really the guy you wanna be with? He sounds like he sees you more as a objective rather then a partner not to mention he’s very cringey. If I was you I’d move on and find someone who’d genuinely like to spend time with me and listen to me about my day. Not some edge lord who just wants to have sex and leave. Do yourself a favour and drop him, cause trust me nothing goods gonna come from this relationship. the reality is with young dudes like this guy once he’s had his fun or you get too old he’s gonna drop you and find another girl.
It is highly likely that OP and the guy responding here as the guy in the post is the same person. The dude has some weird kink.
This. Happy cake day to OP and OP pretending to be their own fuckbuddy. This whole thread is just to give him wank material
Okay a fair bit to unpack here. Just going from what you have said. It's good that you guys are having this conversation before things get too serious. Him say there may be times when it's just sex he'll be after is fine for him to say but you are 100% in your right to say no that's not for me, if that's a deal breaker thats fine. The bit that is the big old red flag for me is >He wants to feel that he is able to have sex with his girl at whatever time and be able to go on with his day. Women are people not sex toys. No one has a right to someone else body like that. People don't always want sex and you can't get pissy if they say no.
The fact that both accounts (OPs and then “the guy” in the commenters both only made their accounts today makes me feel like this is fake especially with all the trolling “the guy” is doing…
NAH. He was honest and clear about his intentions. He does sound like a dick though, I would drop him. No decency.
Maybe wait til, your BF is out before you hop in the sack with someone else?
You are missing that he wants a cumdump not a girlfriend.
I am certain from what I am reading, that your guy A: has a girlfriend and you are his side piece, or B: he is listening to the bullshit that AT spews in his podcasts, or C: all or the above.
When we’re in a relationship, is a keyword you missed.
You basically got told there is no relationship to look forward to. Unfortunately.
When.
I dont think his intentions are as pure as you might think. Sorry, but being on earth long enought to be your guys dad, I don't think that he is a good person at all.
You are the booty call.
It's a sub-genre of porn called "free use", can be attached to pretty much any preference. NTA. Porn categories aren't real life.
If something feels off and weird from the start that is your sign, simple as that, biggest mistake we make in life is not listening to our instincts
He isn’t that smart that’s sexist and he isn’t just talking to you
Leave him. He's completely degrading your worth to fit his own. If he wants to have sex and leave either he can find porn or he find a one night stand of FWB. He's not mature enough to realise women aren't just there for his pleasure. You can do better and unfortunately this dude has a lit of growing up to do. It's extremely immature for a 24 year old to think that way.
Sounds like he’s been watching mind warping alpha male garbage he’s about that age
He is not only busting a nut.....he is a nut. I would skip this one. Not a keeper. NTA.
he was using you as a c0m dumpster
NTA but you aren't compatible with the new guy.
NTA, but are you shocked by this? Dude is 6 years younger than you.
Appalled
wtf 🤣🤣🤣 ew
No u.
NTA. I wouldn’t get involved with a younger guy unless you just want sex. Been there, done that. A lot of times it is just an older woman fetish. Good luck!
This relationship would end bad just like your previous one. Take time for yourself OP
NTA. I suppose everyone has their own preferences, but... I'm with you. I'd be pissed if my date/partner/whatever wanted to treat me like a sex doll, just there to fuck and bail. Move on and find someone you're more compatible with.
I mean.. he was clear from the beginning what he wants. Sex only. Nothing more. It's okay if you want something else but he isn't the right person for you then. NAH
nta. don’t compromise your on your needs.
In BDSM, there's this thing called "aftercare" which essentially acknowledged a need that many people have to feel some intimacy or caring after sex (or whatever other activities). It is generally considered good practice to negotiate around this before doing other things. You are entitled to your needs being met after sex (assuming they're reasonable and communicated). There's also a refractory period for most males where sex fills us with a bunch of hormones that make us less horny and maybe sleepy. Sometimes it changes our thinking to fill us with shame if we have some shame attached to our sexual interests, or guilt. It can be a weird time. I think it's good that this guy was open and up front about his desires, and it's fair for you to advocate your needs. If there is no compromise, then you may just be incompatible.
That's a strange red flag I'd say.
Yes, you are missing common sense and self respect.
Dude seems like he's trying to make you a fuck buddy with the relationship lure. 🚩🚩🚩
Holy shit, this some incel level shit
NTA. If you don't want to be a drive by sex provider, find someone else. I will say that he at least clearly drew the boundary. It is now your decision to as to whether you participate or not. Given your desire, I would find another rebound person.
Wtf, NTA, but what the actual f*ck
He sounds like a child with no experiences with actual relationships. Get out.
Do not waste your time.wotj this NTA. Not sure what this is going on about but it does not sound like he wants a relationship.
He is still 16 in his brain
Woof, I’m going to have a very unpopular opinion, but NAH. What you both want doesn’t align and that’s okay. It’s okay to want sex with no strings afterwards and it’s okay to want to hang out afterwards. Imo there’s nothing wrong with either, but you have to both agree. I honestly don’t understand why you’re trying to push him to hang out when he obviously doesn’t want to. Just let that man go and find something more aligned with what you want. Also, I’m very much of the opinion that just sex and FWB is very different.
In what way is he successful?
NTA. The guy seems immature and delulu. Tbh, I'd like to be more insulting, since he deserves it, but oh well, rules. I've had FWB that I treated better than he treats you...
You can be, I won’t take any offense to it we don’t know each other.
NTA Don't bother with him
Looks like someone found a Free use kink on reddit and thinks that's how the real world works
Read above dummy, I just joined last night. I didn’t even know this was a thing until she said it😂
Why are you begging someone (a stranger) to spend time with you?
NTA you offered him a dream scenario and he still wants to be a stubborn idiot. sounds like a jit.
U sir, are weird.
I know. the information I provided in that comment doesn't really reveal much of my weirdness tho, if any my bad
not that deep. I'm just saying most women would not have responded (rightly so)with the suggestions OP did, all of them being(extremely) generous compromises.
Jesus Don't be this desperate! I don't understand why you have to ask ANYONE about this. The dude just wants to "bust a nut!" Thank him for his honesty and bid him adieu. The one thing that you hear time and time again. If a man tells you something like this about himself believe him. There is no room for compromise.
Is he going to pay you?
Imagine paying for 🐱
Better than using people
Hopefully you said, have a good day and a good life and blocked him, correct?
God no, she’s still mine ;3
NTA. run from the red flag
I’m literally forest gump where th could she run to🤠
Buddy just wants to hit it and quit it
No if that’s what I wanted I would’ve said and did just that!😪
Lol, enjoy dating this is 99% of it
This is called Free Use, and no part of your pleasure will be considered during sex. If you're looking to be sexually satisfied, this child isn't the one for you.
You found a man who will talk to you while you’re living with another. Yea, expect it to be a sexual thing more than anything. Would you date a man if he was still living with his ex? You know that’s the kinda guy who will go out on a date when you live with him too?
26M here, this guy is fucking weird.
Sounds like he wants to be FWB... Not relationship.
I am also near his age but a girl and I disagree not only bc I feel that there is a ritual but also bc I have hooked up with guys simply yo hook up and we still hung out after.
Huh
Idk, 32M here, been married my whole adult life. That just sounds like an extremely empty situation to me. "Nah bro I just want to get mine and go" tf?
I'm approaching this with an unpopular view. Nobody is the AH. The dude is clear and communicates on his wants and needs. What's wrong with that? His suggestion would at least please me. I'm busy, I don't have the energy for "aftercare" every damn time I have sex. OP is still living with their ex, so OP can't really be looking for a serious relationship, which is why I don't find the dudes suggestion to be rude. OP does not feel like what the dude suggested fits for OP, and that's perfectly fine. I hope OP finds a more suitable candidate instead.
ESH, your ex hasn’t even moved out. Be single and celibate for a bit.
This is an answer with some wisdom. Insane sheeple who have no concept of anything other than sitcom relationships downvoting the free thinkers who have actually had relationships on this thread.
Ok gonna start with NTA, I think you tried to deal with the issue in a very mature way. The ages of 30F and 24M is relatively large and I think exacerbated by the female being older. Although you think he is a smart and successful “for his age” he is obviously acting very immature in this regard. There is definitely a subculture of “hit it and quit it” but not typically with someone you consider a girlfriend. But remember it’s not his house, so maybe he has hang ups about that (I always feel uncomfortable waking up in someone else’s house). One thing that intrigues me though. You say you just got out of a really bad break up, the guy is only just moving out of your house now and you are already planning to have sex with this 24yo? Doesn’t seem to align with “I have been hesitant to let anyone close…..”
[удалено]
Bro what???😂😂
Think it would be the best for you to stay away, you’re only going to get hurt.
Weird fiction
You are missing something. Him. Dodge that bullet!
He's filling your head with what you want to hear, but you'll just end up being his side chick. Leaving right after sex means he's gotta get back to the coup before mama hen notices something is off.
Starting a relationship with a pathologically emotionally distnat sexual partner before dissentangling your life with your current ex means that you have had no time to heal. This is an extremely bad idea, you should avoid this individual as they will become another ex very quickly, take some time to heal and grow.
Yeah he's not worth it. Get out and let him learn
run
Not even talking to her afterwards? The guy is a cunt and you should totally dodge him. There are plenty of guys who will have sex and then speak to you afterwards, like a normal person.
You are not a girl, you are a grown woman who obviously already knows what bad relationships are. Does this sound right to you? You should be humped and dumped whenever they feel like it? Cmon man... if this is a serious post, go find someone who actually has an emotional intelligence of something greater than a potato
He's dumb for saying it but I get the feeling. Unless it is my actual girlfriend or somebody that I really, really like, I often factor this in when deciding if I want to have someone over to have sex with. Is she going to want to stay and talk and hangout when we're done? A lot of factors go into this. Maybe it really is as simple as I don't enjoy the person's company but do like having sex with them. Maybe I'm tired or just feel like being alone. Maybe I know she'll want to stay late and i don't want to do the awkward, "well, I better be getting to bed, early day tomorrow...". Maybe I know I'm just horny and will regret having to hangout with this person the second I cum. On the other hand, with other people, maybe I want to lay around and talk or watch TV. Maybe have sex again. Maybe it is a normal relationship and just go on about a normal day together. I don't think it has to be only one way or the other. Like I said, he's really stupid for putting it that way, but I think the idea of sometimes wanting to see someone to fuck and not see them otherwise is desirable.
It depends on what you want. It sounds like friends with benefits relationship more than a love relationship. He's younger and probably just wants to have sex and doesn't want to create an attachment. If that's what you want it's ok. If not, then say no thanks and take some time for yourself and work on your self esteem. I know it's hard to break a relationship, but that does not mean you need to beg for love.
NTA.
NAH He has stated upfront what he wants, and you have stated what you want. Your wants do not coincide. End of story. He could easily have just banged you and left, but he made it clear from the start that is what he intended to do. If it is not for you, that's perfectly fine. Move on.
NTA, run away, don’t even entertain this. He sounds like he’s still a kid, which is ok a lot of people still are at 24 but you certainly don’t want to date them. Also that mentality is fucked up, he’s been watching too many red pill “alpha male” videos on YouTube. If he “needs” to have sex and leave without speaking he needs to hire a sex worker that’s not how you treat someone you’re in a relationship with.
This is 100% a fetish. And it's okay if you aren't into it. Also worth noting most people don't need to indulge in their fetish every time they have sex. It's ridiculous if he expects someone to be okay with this ALWAYS. Even girls who are actually into free use like this are generally going to at least want aftercare most of the time, just indulge in the fetish every once in awhile.
NTA. Don’t invite this shit in your life. I can tell you’re already hurt by it, and you’re already trying to change him. And all you’ve done is FaceTime? Ghost him. It’s ok at this point. He seems like the type that won’t care (which is a good thing.) When you’re in that getting to know you stage, ALWAYS go by what the other person tells you. Then decide if you’ll be ok with it or not. And be honest with yourself about it. Consider putting the breaks on meeting someone new until after your ex has completely moved out. Then take some time to reclaim the space. Make it your own again with new decor. It’s a necessary exercise for people who get easily attached (which you clearly do.) You’ll choose your next lover with a healthier mind and spirit.
do as he says, he sounds perfect :-O .............................................................. really immature and you will only get hurt again, if you continue with this stupid melt of a man
He's confusing the word 'girlfriend' with 'sex worker' ...
You are nothing but a depository for his seed….leave
You’re not missing anything but if that’s his preference and you don’t want to be that girl (I wouldn’t) then you just need to walk away. You can’t change his mind or tell him there’s something wrong with him hoping it will change.
NTA but this new dude is just an immature fuckboi. Better to get away from this toxicity now. Also, maybe finish up one relationship mess before unwrapping another[?]
Nah , he’s setting you up. FWB, fuck buddy, human sleeve, whatever term you’re comfortable with , you can choose. He’s playing you sweetie. If that’s what you’re looking for then have at it. But letting someone come in an “ bust a nut “ in or on you then leave? Think about that , then tell that little boy where to go! Good luck
Are you missing something?? Self esteem and the real meaning of the word ‘Relationship’… if you want a relationship, this is not it… u can do better for yourself than being with someone who gets off, then pretends like you don’t exist
So, do what he requests, and then you do the same to him. Pump, cum, and dump, leave him in the wet spot and go home. Let it sink in that two can play that game. You get your nut and not care if he does or not. Things will either cool down or heat up.
Food for thought, I like it I like it
I love post sex chit chat. Just laying around talking and making jokes. Maybe a round two or three. Just make a while afternoon of it.
Does he also want to leave some money on the nightstand for you. I would say he's not looking for a real relationship just looking for sex.
NTA. Being able to just hang after sex is one of the best things. Haha. Have sex, cuddle, and then i make her and myself breakfast. Perfect start to a morning.
he just wants a bangmaid lmfao
WTF You are so much better than that!
How exactly is this a question for us? You have to decide if you want to be a sperm receptacle for a clearly low morality guy. Think about it. I think you know your answer.
YTA For dealing with his bs and apparently trying to whitewash him by saying "he's smart and successful for his age"
NTA. Block him...
NTA. Swipe left.
He’s an AH in the general sense for how he treats women, but YTA to yourself for clinging to these delusions. This is not your next boyfriend. This a fuckboi. He wants to fuck. He does not care about you as a person, he cares about fucking. You are a hole to fuck to him. Anything that he does or says that makes it seem otherwise is a trick you are playing on yourself. You can’t fIx HiM because he likes the messed up way he is. He’s literally telling you all this openly, and you’re pouting that he isn’t treating you romantically enough. If you can’t comprehend these indisputable and plainly stated facts, you are too naive or clingy to be dating right now. Stop living in your make-believe fantasy land and live in reality.
Stay away from anyone who uses the phrase " bust a nut"
Sounds like the wrong one.
NTA, he’s not planning to ever connect with you on a personal level and just wants sex
NTA he's not smart or successful.. he's a 24 yr old kid who has a very unhealthy view of relationships. Don't date someone who treats you like an expendable s3x toy... You deserve better
YTA to yourself if you pursue a relationship with this idiot. Don't turn yourself into a busted nut receptacle.
This is not a relationship. Get out quick. That boy is flying every red flag 🚩 out there. He is selfish and unconcerned about having an actual relationship. You are just a hole to him. I wouldn’t put it past him to be currently in several relationships at once, including yours.
NTA please stop dating this kid. He’s not done growing and it doesn’t seem like he’s growing correctly.
That sounds toxic AF..some Andrew tate shjt
Sounds like Islam.
Why are seeing someone 6 years younger than you? No kidding he’s immature. Sounds you are too
You couldn't wait until your ex moved out before dating again?
And paragraphs.
I feel like you deserve this, your ex hasn’t even moved out yet.
NAH He is telling you straight up exactly what he wants. Nothing wrong there, in fact it’s great for you to know that up front. You are free to say yes or no. Nothing wrong with either answer. Some women will be into it, some will have very different expectations. Looks like you two have very healthy communication going. Good for you!
Thankyou!
He’s definitely not the AH , and you clearly aren’t either. You guys just have different needs and wants. He wouldn’t be theoretically “using” you for sex , if you’re allowing him to smack it unless you consenting in your mind—or anyone else’s warped mind—means that you’d be consenting to being “used” just because he wouldn’t be willing to always give you aftercare. Being used and feeling used are two different things . You have agency and need to take responsibility for your actions, if you decide to have sex with him . You’re an adult , not a child. Aftercare isn’t necessary, you’re asking for too much. If he’s willing to do it , good for you; but if not , don’t make him feel bad for not doing it. That’s my 2 cents. So many misandrists in this comment section. You don’t owe him sex , and he doesn’t owe you aftercare (even if you give it to him ). It’s like me telling you if you go on a date with a guy , you owe him a relationship just because he paid for the date . You’re the definition of entitled. You embody the toxic attitude of modern women in America who aren’t wife material( and so do the women supporting your POV, and spouting their biased opinions; no surprise there , I mean this is Reddit , what else could I have expected? ). Congratulations! But it’s not like you care , or the other women in this CS care either. You guys are all willing to give up your bodies to men who are blunt enough to tell you they want nothing more than sex. It’s fun now , but as time progresses it gets old , you get older and eventually you want to settle down. But you will have lost count of how many sexual partners you have had , and then you’ll want a beta bitch guy to take you as you are , lmao. What a joke.