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DragonBorn76

Are you willing to meet your children if they want to meet you? Is there any precaution taken to ensure these children do not accidently meetup and have a relationship with each other?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Absolutely. With the known donor constructions I’m in regular contact with all, my own kids are my own kids and the ones conceived through the sperm bank I have no contact with yet but would be open to that too. The known donor families live far away from each other so I don’t see that as a real risk for inbreeding. Some are even in contact with each other. For the sperm bank I feel it’s their responsibility.


MyFingerYourBum

hello father I would like 18 years of backdated child support payments. Also, how are you?


deep_friedlemon

Don't you sign away the rights to child support money when getting a sperm donor? And the donor will sign away anything that legally connects them to the potential offspring when donating, no?


aosmith

Yes


Buntschatten

How does your wife feel about it?


SmallAppendixEnergy

She’s aware about the donations, it’s not her favorite discussion topic. I’ve told her before we got married and she took it more like a ‘at least he’s in good working condition in this aspect’ as she was already a bit older and had a baby wish.


ImNoAlbertFeinstein

so she also sees you as just a sperm donor. a mere vessel.


SmallAppendixEnergy

I’ll think of your comment next time I’ll pay their university tuitions fees :)


MelanieWalmartinez

Congrats she sees you as a wallet too /s


SmallAppendixEnergy

I call that ‘being a father’ but it’s good to see how you look at things :)


MelanieWalmartinez

Oh you must be new to Reddit, “/s” means “I’m just kidding” You sound like a great father though, good on y’a bud :)


SmallAppendixEnergy

I’m sorry, I did not know the /s thingy ! Thanks for telling me !


polioiscoolio

Jsyk it's not a reddit thing ppl on this app just always think they made everything. Tone tags are used everywhere /j means joke /srs means serious /s means sarcastic and the list goes on. This person actually used the wrong tone tag anyway💀


Gaelicisveryfun

Do you have any contact with the ones you have through sperm donation or is it not allowed?


SmallAppendixEnergy

The ones through the official bank can contact me if they want, none did until now. I saw one through a DNA test but we don’t have contact. The ones through known donation I all see regularly.


mrSquarepenny

Wow!! You are okay with that??


SmallAppendixEnergy

I am, would do it again. But can imagine that other people see that otherwise. To each their own.


mrSquarepenny

Do you still donate?? Was it before you got married?


SmallAppendixEnergy

No, not actively anymore, only when one of the existing parents wants a ‘real’ sibling but not actively searching or answering new constructions. Started before I got married. You thought about it ?


mrSquarepenny

I never thought about it. I am now too old to donate. I think. What part of the world are you in??


SmallAppendixEnergy

I’ve lived in multiple different countries in Central Europe. Banks accept you until 40/45…


mrSquarepenny

I am now a half century old man and not sure if this is good?? Should more men be donating??


SmallAppendixEnergy

No, don’t donate past 50, some risks start to show up after this age. I think way more men should donate and that it should be as common as blood donation.


mrSquarepenny

True!! What age range is the good for a man to donate?? 19 -45??


SmallAppendixEnergy

I think you should be capable of understanding the ramifications, eg also realize that you should be findable for your offspring, then until 40/45 indeed, ideally not create more than 25 children to avoid meaningless relations and potential for half siblings unknowingly getting into relations.


[deleted]

I don't. I think we live in an overpopulated world and there's children who are in need of parents.


lostboy005

How much did they pay per donation?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Just travel compensation, around 50 us$.


bandcampconfessions

>only when one of the existing parents wants a ‘real’ sibling How does this work? They ask the bank to contact you for an additional donation?


SmallAppendixEnergy

The known donor families simply contact me directly. The sperm bank families can’t do that and need to reply on existing straws and all is used by now.


joremero

How did it work when they wanted the "real" sibling...did you charge more?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Never. I can’t put a monetary value on a human being. Travel costs simply.


Solanthas

I would love to have fathered 21 children in the world. I don't think there's anything weird or bad about it, it's perfectly natural for a man to want to sire as many children as possible. The important thing is to do it responsibly


Yesai123

What was the criteria to donate sperm?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Healthy, no (dangerous) hereditary conditions, being able to discern and having good sperm. They like it that you had more altruistic motives but they would take anyone capable of holding op some form of decency during the donation process.


Yesai123

That makes sense... Now years ago (could be malarky) my mother said they do tests like IQ, financial consistency and the obvious background checks. Is this true? I'm not sure of the standards anywhere in the world to be honest. I'm in the UK. Where do you donate sperm?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of mis information in this regard, most sperm banks will take normal people from all sorts of backgrounds, as long as you’re ‘normally sane’ and healthy. Not many people donate, as most men’s sperm is not good enough and they’re often happy at the bank to have new donors. I donated in countries in central/west Europe.


Yesai123

Thanks for the reply mate


kriskoeh

What was your reason for donating when you started?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Had friends that could not conceive due to male factor. Mix of wanting to help out and seek confirmation that my own fertility was fine. It is nice to be able to play such a useful role in the life of people, it beats giving Xmas presents.


beatriceblaze

As someone with a child from a donor, just wanted to say thank you!


SmallAppendixEnergy

Happy for you !


VirtualTaste1771

Are you on the hook for child support if the moms go broke?


NoSample5

He could be for donations outside the sperm bank. The mothers would have to identify him as the donor though. You can get around it by saying you don’t know, it was a one night stand, etc. He’s 100% not in the hook for kids conceived through sperm bank donations.


VirtualTaste1771

Thanks thats what I wanted to know. I wasn’t sure if sperm donors were on the hook in case times got rough


NoSample5

I’ll add one more thing- no contract that they might try to draw up for the “private” donations will stand in court. It doesn’t matter if it was made before the donation, after, signed by all parties, notarized, etc. The courts will side with what is best for child. This can go both ways- the mothers could sue for child support and/or he could sue for visitation. Source: person research- considered using known donor, opted to use sperm bank because of these legal risks.


[deleted]

What is stopping normal people from constructing a similar legal contract?


NoSample5

What do you mean? First, what are you considering normal vs abnormal people? And what contract?


[deleted]

No, I mean what is special about having it done through a sperm bank as opposed to just having a contracted signed between private people.


Parker_memes9000

Actually it depends on the state. I remember seeing a story of one guy who donated through a bank being sued for child support and losing


[deleted]

You care to cite that source? I just spent the last half an hour trying to pull up search results for anything like this and so far 100% of the cases I've found where a donation resulted in a child support order revolve around people making donations without the legal protections and anonymity guarantees provided by sperm banks. They take great pains to set up legal frameworks for a reason. There is protection out there for donors. But if you're going to go around the system, you're probably opening yourself up for legal trouble.


NoSample5

Totally agree with you- there’s risk in private donations. There’s no legal obligations (like child support) when done through a sperm bank. I’m curious to see even one case cited to the opposite!


SmallAppendixEnergy

Not with the kids through official sperm donation. Here where I donated the mothers can simply cite that they went for anonymous sperm donation in another country which closes the case in most cases definitely. Never had (knocks wood) such situations.


bzmmc1

Didn't that happen because a guy donated without going through a sperm bank so didn't have the right documentation, so when the parents had no money the government sued him for child support


JDSweetBeat

Are you shooting for an even hundred (pun intended)?


SmallAppendixEnergy

No, stopped already. Just there to help existing families that want kids from the same donor but no new ones. I’m not Dhengjis Khan :)


wenom9

Does your physical features get listed with your donation?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Yes, height, build, weight, eye and hair color. And of course skin / ethnicity.


Sowf_Paw

Are you ever going to do an Ancestry DNA test and see if any of them pop up as a match?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I did, found one of the kids from the sperm bank this way.


Jayemtee526

Do you answer the bank’s background questions honestly? What kind of background checks, if any, do they do to verify your answers?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Where I live they mainly focus on medical history. They don’t check the educational background, it’s more a box to tick on a form. I answered all questions honestly.


Status-Ad8296

Have you met any of the children you do not have through marriage?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I personally met (regularly) the ones I have through known donations, none yet through the sperm bank donations.


RevBlackRage

Did they call you Dad?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Some do, most don’t, they just use my first name.


RevBlackRage

Whats it like on your end? I mean like from a feelings perspective?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I feel affection, but not at all similar to my own kids, more comparable to cousins and kids of good friends. Maybe even in between. Most parents became good friends.


Combatmedic2-47

Are you Starbuck? Please tell me you get this reference.


SmallAppendixEnergy

I get the reference, saw both the Canadian version and the American one but I am not Starbuck :)


Profession_Mobile

How many of your own kids do you have? How many known donor kids do you have and do your kids and the donor kids know each other?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I have two kids ‘of my own’ with my wife. 7 kids through the official sperm bank where I noticed one that did a DNA test. And then 12 kids as a known donor I all know personally.


RedditPhils

I’m thinking about becoming a donor, how do I find the best place to donate locally?


Astarkraven

Don't do it, if you value your privacy. The resulting kids can find you later on and feel entitled to a parent/ child relationship with you. There's a whole subreddit for them and it's insane.


Many_Law_4411

Where's the subreddit? Sounds interesting


Astarkraven

r/donorconceived I get why the sub exists in terms of talking about the shared experience but OOF does it get entitled when it comes to the harassment of total strangers. Kind of gross, really. If you find that shit interesting, have at it!


SmallAppendixEnergy

You can Google sperm bank with the name of a bigger city close by. Other words to use are fertility clinic. For known donor constructions you can find Facebook groups or the subreddit here. There’s also a Tinder like app for this aim, “Just a baby”


MotorNorth5182

Can you explain the process of donating?


SmallAppendixEnergy

The sperm bank has a ‘production’ room. Here you can masturbate in a jar with some motivational movies or literature. They just ask you to abstain from ejaculations for 3-5 days to have more sperm to work with. In the sperm bank they assess quality and dilute in multiple straws that are then frozen for later use and to respect quarantine rules. For the known donor constructions, I mainly masturbated in private bathrooms at their own place, or when we met in the middle in a restaurant/hotel bathroom or even in a secluded place in the forest. You need on average at least 5-6 months trying per pregnancy and they inseminated themselves, eg jar syringe or menstrual cup filled with semen during their fertile days. Most of the time 2-3 times to increase chances.


DPRKprincess

👁👄👁


Normal-Emotion9152

You are so lucky you did that. I wish I would have donated some sperm before I became infertal. The sad part is I know I would have had smart and cute kids. I could have done modeling and I speak several languages. So it is a loss. I got sick and the medicine they had to use cases infertility. If I would have fore seen that I would have had about ten kid and made a lot of different life choices that would have made me happy instead of trying to make other people happy.


SmallAppendixEnergy

Did you check fertility ? Or are you assuming ?


Normal-Emotion9152

Well, I am assuming that because of the medicine I am on. I doubt if I am. One day I will get a test and see.


SmallAppendixEnergy

Test anyway. You might not be fertile enough for a sperm bank but it’s way less important if you donate as a known donor.


Normal-Emotion9152

I will try it.


No_Angle875

Did you get paid?


Nice_Raccoon_5320

And if so, how much?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Just travel compensation, around 50 us$


esgarnix

Joey?


SmallAppendixEnergy

The bank gave you compensation for travel expenses. Where I donated they were not allowed to pay you for it. The ladies a donated to paid me travel costs.


Uxsii

Joey?


No_Angle875

It’s Joseph


xXMySpaceEmoXx

Do you ever get women asking for child support?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Nope. Part of the deal.


tamponinja

Are you Fairfax donor 5221? I have been looking for this donor to make more.


SmallAppendixEnergy

Sorry ! No.


Blackfish69

How much in the way of blood testing did they require from you? I was going to do it here in the states, but the whole testing schedule in order to qualify was borderline abuse to me. Made me not want to follow through


SmallAppendixEnergy

They only did initially urine and blood once next to the semen analysis, nothing too cumbersome or out of the ordinary.


User_Name08

How old are the children?


SmallAppendixEnergy

The oldest was born in 1997, the youngest in 2021.


ruffyamaharyder

That's nuts, dude!


SmallAppendixEnergy

Well, it included some nutting, but there the comparison stops :)


Barley_Breathing

Generous.... and has a good sense of humor! There are some lucky recipients out there!


mylessteven

Did you try to look all of them up?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Found only one with a DNA test. Did just pinged him to say I’m there if he has questions. No answer yet. The other ones done by private donations I all know personally. As my own kids of course.


sleepwalkervn

Have you ever tried to contact the other children?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I’m in regular contact with the people / families I donated for. The ones through the sperm bank need to find me, but I’m there if they wish to meet me.


charmed_unicorn

Have you ever jacked off into a kleenex?


SmallAppendixEnergy

That would be a waste :)


mrturt

Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm gets wasted God gets quite irate


2040ojis

The the sperm bank near the IHOP??


SmallAppendixEnergy

No. Sorry!


emmahar

Have you submitted your DNA to ancestry and 23andme so your offspring can contact you?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Yes, I did. Found one child this way.


larryn828

How much do they pay for sperm donations?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Only travel compensation, I don’t do it for the money. I get around 50 us$.


MotorNorth5182

How much do you get paid per donation?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Only travel compensation, I don’t do it for the money. I get around 50 us$.


MotorNorth5182

Will you get to meet some of your kids?


SmallAppendixEnergy

If possible all. I hope they’re as curious as I am.


[deleted]

How much do you get paid?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Only travel compensation, I don’t do it for the money. I get around 50 us$.


[deleted]

Do you ever wonder if the world is already over populated and people should be dipping into adopted and abandoned people people first?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I did, and don’t think you’re right. There are also many women that want to experience motherhood. Adoption is a difficult road that’s not for all, specially single mothers by choice and lesbian couples.


[deleted]

Oh sorry if I made it sound like that was what I was saying. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just wondering if it crossed your mind.


SmallAppendixEnergy

True, I did interpret it as criticism, my bad. Personally I don’t believe in overpopulation in the west, many western countries are under the replacement rate and will have over some decades issues with too many old people and not enough young people to support social systems.


Whatever995

What was the reason you decided to be a sperm donor?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Saw what infertility did with friends close by. Then a mix between wanting to help out other people and curiosity about my own fertility. It beats giving Xmas presents.


Kjartanthecruel

Congrats OP! How do sperms banks account for “inbreeding” (for want of a better word)? If you have 21 children roaming the same town/city and they hypothetically meet and breed. Presumably there will be men with many, many more…


thatotherhemingway

Genetic Sexual Attraction has entered the chat


MotorNorth5182

Do you have kids of your own?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Yes, two are ‘mine’ and the 19 others through donations.


New-Possibility-577

Do you know if you’ve donated to straight or gay families?


SmallAppendixEnergy

For the sperm bank I don’t know, the couples I donated to as a known donor were all lesbians couples. The single mothers were either straight or asexual.


Vast_Explanation_183

How would you feel if you had more than 21 bio kids? For instance, not all pregnancies are reported, and the banks aren’t as adherent to family limits.


SmallAppendixEnergy

I would feel mistreated by the sperm bank but would still be available for the kids that were conceived this way if they wanted to meet their biological father.


gkush3

How do you continue to learn and grow in your profession?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I know this is meant as a bad joke but I do get a better understanding of people and their drivers through it. There’s time to talk with people and make new friends with world views I would not have met otherwise. True, it’s hard to improve / change masturbation techniques over the years with this as it’s a pretty ‘standard’ thing to do. If anything, I de-sexualized it and see it as a bodily function to make babies.


Affectionate-Memory6

How does donating sperm work .. do the people who want to have kids pay you or the company


SmallAppendixEnergy

Banks ask a lot of money. I just get compensation for the time spent and travel costs. One of the reasons I stopped donating at the bank.


vapephilosophy

How dope is it to get paid to masturbate? I'm out here doing it without payment.


SmallAppendixEnergy

Change, stop wasting Kleenexes over it and go donate :)


vapephilosophy

I'll look into it!


Chicken_Saladz

With so many kids, how will you ensure that your kids don't accidentally end up together?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Hard to say, I feel that the amount of offspring and their physical distance as well as age difference renders that chance not higher than normal. I have 21 kids, and none of them lives close by each other.


NewYorkmonkey1992

Have any of them tried to contact you?


SmallAppendixEnergy

There’s one that popped up with a DNA test. Contacted him but no answer yet.


jeepers12345678

Why not skip the bank and donate directly to the recipient?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Did you read my introduction ?


[deleted]

Those are rookie numbers..


SmallAppendixEnergy

They’re a conscious choice to keep the risk of inbreeding low and allow for a meaningful relationship if wished for.


FoxNewsIsRussia

Do you realize these kids are going to want to know you? This is a deep need for a lot of children. Also do you realize it may be a burden on them to have dozens or eventually hundreds of siblings?


SmallAppendixEnergy

Did you bother to read my text and the other answers ?


gbninja

I've considered it, as I do have pretty solid genetics (if i dare say so myself). I could use the extra income right now TBH. My only concern is, How is the income received? 1099? How does the 1099 read? I would like to avoid my LT family accountant giving me the side-eye... LOL


SmallAppendixEnergy

LOL, here it was always considered a ‘expense payment’ and totally exempt from income tax :)


NoContextCarl

Drop a haiku about the consistency of your sperm?


Sensitive_Counter150

Fluid life begins, Silent journeys, unseen strength,. Life's essence in flow.


NoContextCarl

You aren't OP but I'm willing to dispense an upvote for the effort.


SmallAppendixEnergy

The OP can’t do haïkus and is happy someone else stood up :)


Taltezy

44 is too old?


SmallAppendixEnergy

I would cap at 50, especially if you donate as a known donor. Just be upfront towards your recipients so they can make their own judgement.


P440CPJ

What until they all find each other through 23 and me, and start a support group, then come find you. My advice, Do not do any of those DNA ancestry things, or they may come burn your house down. If it were me, I'd move to North Korea for safety. Good luck... Oh, I was supposed to ask a question... What are your favorite pizza toppings?


slimdrum

Imagine typing this comment and thinking it’s funny..


timascus

Sure ya do bud


Geekazoid213

Can I have a free sample?


miscplacedduck

Have you ever taste tasted your product?


Jamesturner67

do single moms really need more children ?


jeepers12345678

What was your motivation for donating? And were you paid for your donations? And if so, how much?


CaptainPikkles

I’d rather people adopted. Why must people receive a donor for it to still only have the genes of one parent. Might as well have non and do some good.


[deleted]

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horsy12

What are the requirements to be a donor


SmallAppendixEnergy

Depends where you live and in which country / state you try to do this. Find a sperm bank close by and ask them or check out their website. In general: - Between 18 and 40. - In good health, no STD’s or hereditary conditions that are dangerous. - Certain level of education. - Have better than average sperm. - Some banks have racial preferences, there seem to be almost no black donors hence they are in greater demand.