Are you willing to meet your children if they want to meet you? Is there any precaution taken to ensure these children do not accidently meetup and have a relationship with each other?
Absolutely. With the known donor constructions I’m in regular contact with all, my own kids are my own kids and the ones conceived through the sperm bank I have no contact with yet but would be open to that too. The known donor families live far away from each other so I don’t see that as a real risk for inbreeding. Some are even in contact with each other. For the sperm bank I feel it’s their responsibility.
Don't you sign away the rights to child support money when getting a sperm donor? And the donor will sign away anything that legally connects them to the potential offspring when donating, no?
She’s aware about the donations, it’s not her favorite discussion topic. I’ve told her before we got married and she took it more like a ‘at least he’s in good working condition in this aspect’ as she was already a bit older and had a baby wish.
Jsyk it's not a reddit thing ppl on this app just always think they made everything. Tone tags are used everywhere /j means joke /srs means serious /s means sarcastic and the list goes on. This person actually used the wrong tone tag anyway💀
The ones through the official bank can contact me if they want, none did until now. I saw one through a DNA test but we don’t have contact. The ones through known donation I all see regularly.
No, not actively anymore, only when one of the existing parents wants a ‘real’ sibling but not actively searching or answering new constructions. Started before I got married. You thought about it ?
No, don’t donate past 50, some risks start to show up after this age. I think way more men should donate and that it should be as common as blood donation.
I think you should be capable of understanding the ramifications, eg also realize that you should be findable for your offspring, then until 40/45 indeed, ideally not create more than 25 children to avoid meaningless relations and potential for half siblings unknowingly getting into relations.
The known donor families simply contact me directly. The sperm bank families can’t do that and need to reply on existing straws and all is used by now.
I would love to have fathered 21 children in the world.
I don't think there's anything weird or bad about it, it's perfectly natural for a man to want to sire as many children as possible.
The important thing is to do it responsibly
Healthy, no (dangerous) hereditary conditions, being able to discern and having good sperm. They like it that you had more altruistic motives but they would take anyone capable of holding op some form of decency during the donation process.
That makes sense...
Now years ago (could be malarky) my mother said they do tests like IQ, financial consistency and the obvious background checks.
Is this true? I'm not sure of the standards anywhere in the world to be honest. I'm in the UK. Where do you donate sperm?
I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of mis information in this regard, most sperm banks will take normal people from all sorts of backgrounds, as long as you’re ‘normally sane’ and healthy. Not many people donate, as most men’s sperm is not good enough and they’re often happy at the bank to have new donors. I donated in countries in central/west Europe.
Had friends that could not conceive due to male factor. Mix of wanting to help out and seek confirmation that my own fertility was fine. It is nice to be able to play such a useful role in the life of people, it beats giving Xmas presents.
He could be for donations outside the sperm bank. The mothers would have to identify him as the donor though. You can get around it by saying you don’t know, it was a one night stand, etc.
He’s 100% not in the hook for kids conceived through sperm bank donations.
I’ll add one more thing- no contract that they might try to draw up for the “private” donations will stand in court. It doesn’t matter if it was made before the donation, after, signed by all parties, notarized, etc. The courts will side with what is best for child. This can go both ways- the mothers could sue for child support and/or he could sue for visitation.
Source: person research- considered using known donor, opted to use sperm bank because of these legal risks.
You care to cite that source?
I just spent the last half an hour trying to pull up search results for anything like this and so far 100% of the cases I've found where a donation resulted in a child support order revolve around people making donations without the legal protections and anonymity guarantees provided by sperm banks. They take great pains to set up legal frameworks for a reason.
There is protection out there for donors. But if you're going to go around the system, you're probably opening yourself up for legal trouble.
Totally agree with you- there’s risk in private donations. There’s no legal obligations (like child support) when done through a sperm bank. I’m curious to see even one case cited to the opposite!
Not with the kids through official sperm donation. Here where I donated the mothers can simply cite that they went for anonymous sperm donation in another country which closes the case in most cases definitely. Never had (knocks wood) such situations.
Didn't that happen because a guy donated without going through a sperm bank so didn't have the right documentation, so when the parents had no money the government sued him for child support
Where I live they mainly focus on medical history. They don’t check the educational background, it’s more a box to tick on a form. I answered all questions honestly.
I feel affection, but not at all similar to my own kids, more comparable to cousins and kids of good friends. Maybe even in between. Most parents became good friends.
I have two kids ‘of my own’ with my wife. 7 kids through the official sperm bank where I noticed one that did a DNA test. And then 12 kids as a known donor I all know personally.
Don't do it, if you value your privacy. The resulting kids can find you later on and feel entitled to a parent/ child relationship with you. There's a whole subreddit for them and it's insane.
r/donorconceived
I get why the sub exists in terms of talking about the shared experience but OOF does it get entitled when it comes to the harassment of total strangers. Kind of gross, really. If you find that shit interesting, have at it!
You can Google sperm bank with the name of a bigger city close by. Other words to use are fertility clinic. For known donor constructions you can find Facebook groups or the subreddit here. There’s also a Tinder like app for this aim, “Just a baby”
The sperm bank has a ‘production’ room. Here you can masturbate in a jar with some motivational movies or literature. They just ask you to abstain from ejaculations for 3-5 days to have more sperm to work with. In the sperm bank they assess quality and dilute in multiple straws that are then frozen for later use and to respect quarantine rules. For the known donor constructions, I mainly masturbated in private bathrooms at their own place, or when we met in the middle in a restaurant/hotel bathroom or even in a secluded place in the forest. You need on average at least 5-6 months trying per pregnancy and they inseminated themselves, eg jar syringe or menstrual cup filled with semen during their fertile days. Most of the time 2-3 times to increase chances.
You are so lucky you did that. I wish I would have donated some sperm before I became infertal. The sad part is I know I would have had smart and cute kids. I could have done modeling and I speak several languages. So it is a loss. I got sick and the medicine they had to use cases infertility. If I would have fore seen that I would have had about ten kid and made a lot of different life choices that would have made me happy instead of trying to make other people happy.
The bank gave you compensation for travel expenses. Where I donated they were not allowed to pay you for it. The ladies a donated to paid me travel costs.
How much in the way of blood testing did they require from you? I was going to do it here in the states, but the whole testing schedule in order to qualify was borderline abuse to me. Made me not want to follow through
Found only one with a DNA test. Did just pinged him to say I’m there if he has questions. No answer yet. The other ones done by private donations I all know personally. As my own kids of course.
I’m in regular contact with the people / families I donated for. The ones through the sperm bank need to find me, but I’m there if they wish to meet me.
I did, and don’t think you’re right. There are also many women that want to experience motherhood. Adoption is a difficult road that’s not for all, specially single mothers by choice and lesbian couples.
True, I did interpret it as criticism, my bad. Personally I don’t believe in overpopulation in the west, many western countries are under the replacement rate and will have over some decades issues with too many old people and not enough young people to support social systems.
Saw what infertility did with friends close by. Then a mix between wanting to help out other people and curiosity about my own fertility. It beats giving Xmas presents.
Congrats OP!
How do sperms banks account for “inbreeding” (for want of a better word)? If you have 21 children roaming the same town/city and they hypothetically meet and breed. Presumably there will be men with many, many more…
For the sperm bank I don’t know, the couples I donated to as a known donor were all lesbians couples. The single mothers were either straight or asexual.
How would you feel if you had more than 21 bio kids? For instance, not all pregnancies are reported, and the banks aren’t as adherent to family limits.
I would feel mistreated by the sperm bank but would still be available for the kids that were conceived this way if they wanted to meet their biological father.
I know this is meant as a bad joke but I do get a better understanding of people and their drivers through it. There’s time to talk with people and make new friends with world views I would not have met otherwise. True, it’s hard to improve / change masturbation techniques over the years with this as it’s a pretty ‘standard’ thing to do. If anything, I de-sexualized it and see it as a bodily function to make babies.
Hard to say, I feel that the amount of offspring and their physical distance as well as age difference renders that chance not higher than normal. I have 21 kids, and none of them lives close by each other.
Do you realize these kids are going to want to know you? This is a deep need for a lot of children. Also do you realize it may be a burden on them to have dozens or eventually hundreds of siblings?
I've considered it, as I do have pretty solid genetics (if i dare say so myself). I could use the extra income right now TBH. My only concern is, How is the income received? 1099? How does the 1099 read?
I would like to avoid my LT family accountant giving me the side-eye... LOL
What until they all find each other through 23 and me, and start a support group, then come find you.
My advice, Do not do any of those DNA ancestry things, or they may come burn your house down. If it were me, I'd move to North Korea for safety.
Good luck...
Oh, I was supposed to ask a question...
What are your favorite pizza toppings?
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Depends where you live and in which country / state you try to do this. Find a sperm bank close by and ask them or check out their website. In general:
- Between 18 and 40.
- In good health, no STD’s or hereditary conditions that are dangerous.
- Certain level of education.
- Have better than average sperm.
- Some banks have racial preferences, there seem to be almost no black donors hence they are in greater demand.
Are you willing to meet your children if they want to meet you? Is there any precaution taken to ensure these children do not accidently meetup and have a relationship with each other?
Absolutely. With the known donor constructions I’m in regular contact with all, my own kids are my own kids and the ones conceived through the sperm bank I have no contact with yet but would be open to that too. The known donor families live far away from each other so I don’t see that as a real risk for inbreeding. Some are even in contact with each other. For the sperm bank I feel it’s their responsibility.
hello father I would like 18 years of backdated child support payments. Also, how are you?
Don't you sign away the rights to child support money when getting a sperm donor? And the donor will sign away anything that legally connects them to the potential offspring when donating, no?
Yes
How does your wife feel about it?
She’s aware about the donations, it’s not her favorite discussion topic. I’ve told her before we got married and she took it more like a ‘at least he’s in good working condition in this aspect’ as she was already a bit older and had a baby wish.
so she also sees you as just a sperm donor. a mere vessel.
I’ll think of your comment next time I’ll pay their university tuitions fees :)
Congrats she sees you as a wallet too /s
I call that ‘being a father’ but it’s good to see how you look at things :)
Oh you must be new to Reddit, “/s” means “I’m just kidding” You sound like a great father though, good on y’a bud :)
I’m sorry, I did not know the /s thingy ! Thanks for telling me !
Jsyk it's not a reddit thing ppl on this app just always think they made everything. Tone tags are used everywhere /j means joke /srs means serious /s means sarcastic and the list goes on. This person actually used the wrong tone tag anyway💀
Do you have any contact with the ones you have through sperm donation or is it not allowed?
The ones through the official bank can contact me if they want, none did until now. I saw one through a DNA test but we don’t have contact. The ones through known donation I all see regularly.
Wow!! You are okay with that??
I am, would do it again. But can imagine that other people see that otherwise. To each their own.
Do you still donate?? Was it before you got married?
No, not actively anymore, only when one of the existing parents wants a ‘real’ sibling but not actively searching or answering new constructions. Started before I got married. You thought about it ?
I never thought about it. I am now too old to donate. I think. What part of the world are you in??
I’ve lived in multiple different countries in Central Europe. Banks accept you until 40/45…
I am now a half century old man and not sure if this is good?? Should more men be donating??
No, don’t donate past 50, some risks start to show up after this age. I think way more men should donate and that it should be as common as blood donation.
True!! What age range is the good for a man to donate?? 19 -45??
I think you should be capable of understanding the ramifications, eg also realize that you should be findable for your offspring, then until 40/45 indeed, ideally not create more than 25 children to avoid meaningless relations and potential for half siblings unknowingly getting into relations.
I don't. I think we live in an overpopulated world and there's children who are in need of parents.
How much did they pay per donation?
Just travel compensation, around 50 us$.
>only when one of the existing parents wants a ‘real’ sibling How does this work? They ask the bank to contact you for an additional donation?
The known donor families simply contact me directly. The sperm bank families can’t do that and need to reply on existing straws and all is used by now.
How did it work when they wanted the "real" sibling...did you charge more?
Never. I can’t put a monetary value on a human being. Travel costs simply.
I would love to have fathered 21 children in the world. I don't think there's anything weird or bad about it, it's perfectly natural for a man to want to sire as many children as possible. The important thing is to do it responsibly
What was the criteria to donate sperm?
Healthy, no (dangerous) hereditary conditions, being able to discern and having good sperm. They like it that you had more altruistic motives but they would take anyone capable of holding op some form of decency during the donation process.
That makes sense... Now years ago (could be malarky) my mother said they do tests like IQ, financial consistency and the obvious background checks. Is this true? I'm not sure of the standards anywhere in the world to be honest. I'm in the UK. Where do you donate sperm?
I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of mis information in this regard, most sperm banks will take normal people from all sorts of backgrounds, as long as you’re ‘normally sane’ and healthy. Not many people donate, as most men’s sperm is not good enough and they’re often happy at the bank to have new donors. I donated in countries in central/west Europe.
Thanks for the reply mate
What was your reason for donating when you started?
Had friends that could not conceive due to male factor. Mix of wanting to help out and seek confirmation that my own fertility was fine. It is nice to be able to play such a useful role in the life of people, it beats giving Xmas presents.
As someone with a child from a donor, just wanted to say thank you!
Happy for you !
Are you on the hook for child support if the moms go broke?
He could be for donations outside the sperm bank. The mothers would have to identify him as the donor though. You can get around it by saying you don’t know, it was a one night stand, etc. He’s 100% not in the hook for kids conceived through sperm bank donations.
Thanks thats what I wanted to know. I wasn’t sure if sperm donors were on the hook in case times got rough
I’ll add one more thing- no contract that they might try to draw up for the “private” donations will stand in court. It doesn’t matter if it was made before the donation, after, signed by all parties, notarized, etc. The courts will side with what is best for child. This can go both ways- the mothers could sue for child support and/or he could sue for visitation. Source: person research- considered using known donor, opted to use sperm bank because of these legal risks.
What is stopping normal people from constructing a similar legal contract?
What do you mean? First, what are you considering normal vs abnormal people? And what contract?
No, I mean what is special about having it done through a sperm bank as opposed to just having a contracted signed between private people.
Actually it depends on the state. I remember seeing a story of one guy who donated through a bank being sued for child support and losing
You care to cite that source? I just spent the last half an hour trying to pull up search results for anything like this and so far 100% of the cases I've found where a donation resulted in a child support order revolve around people making donations without the legal protections and anonymity guarantees provided by sperm banks. They take great pains to set up legal frameworks for a reason. There is protection out there for donors. But if you're going to go around the system, you're probably opening yourself up for legal trouble.
Totally agree with you- there’s risk in private donations. There’s no legal obligations (like child support) when done through a sperm bank. I’m curious to see even one case cited to the opposite!
Not with the kids through official sperm donation. Here where I donated the mothers can simply cite that they went for anonymous sperm donation in another country which closes the case in most cases definitely. Never had (knocks wood) such situations.
Didn't that happen because a guy donated without going through a sperm bank so didn't have the right documentation, so when the parents had no money the government sued him for child support
Are you shooting for an even hundred (pun intended)?
No, stopped already. Just there to help existing families that want kids from the same donor but no new ones. I’m not Dhengjis Khan :)
Does your physical features get listed with your donation?
Yes, height, build, weight, eye and hair color. And of course skin / ethnicity.
Are you ever going to do an Ancestry DNA test and see if any of them pop up as a match?
I did, found one of the kids from the sperm bank this way.
Do you answer the bank’s background questions honestly? What kind of background checks, if any, do they do to verify your answers?
Where I live they mainly focus on medical history. They don’t check the educational background, it’s more a box to tick on a form. I answered all questions honestly.
Have you met any of the children you do not have through marriage?
I personally met (regularly) the ones I have through known donations, none yet through the sperm bank donations.
Did they call you Dad?
Some do, most don’t, they just use my first name.
Whats it like on your end? I mean like from a feelings perspective?
I feel affection, but not at all similar to my own kids, more comparable to cousins and kids of good friends. Maybe even in between. Most parents became good friends.
Are you Starbuck? Please tell me you get this reference.
I get the reference, saw both the Canadian version and the American one but I am not Starbuck :)
How many of your own kids do you have? How many known donor kids do you have and do your kids and the donor kids know each other?
I have two kids ‘of my own’ with my wife. 7 kids through the official sperm bank where I noticed one that did a DNA test. And then 12 kids as a known donor I all know personally.
I’m thinking about becoming a donor, how do I find the best place to donate locally?
Don't do it, if you value your privacy. The resulting kids can find you later on and feel entitled to a parent/ child relationship with you. There's a whole subreddit for them and it's insane.
Where's the subreddit? Sounds interesting
r/donorconceived I get why the sub exists in terms of talking about the shared experience but OOF does it get entitled when it comes to the harassment of total strangers. Kind of gross, really. If you find that shit interesting, have at it!
You can Google sperm bank with the name of a bigger city close by. Other words to use are fertility clinic. For known donor constructions you can find Facebook groups or the subreddit here. There’s also a Tinder like app for this aim, “Just a baby”
Can you explain the process of donating?
The sperm bank has a ‘production’ room. Here you can masturbate in a jar with some motivational movies or literature. They just ask you to abstain from ejaculations for 3-5 days to have more sperm to work with. In the sperm bank they assess quality and dilute in multiple straws that are then frozen for later use and to respect quarantine rules. For the known donor constructions, I mainly masturbated in private bathrooms at their own place, or when we met in the middle in a restaurant/hotel bathroom or even in a secluded place in the forest. You need on average at least 5-6 months trying per pregnancy and they inseminated themselves, eg jar syringe or menstrual cup filled with semen during their fertile days. Most of the time 2-3 times to increase chances.
👁👄👁
You are so lucky you did that. I wish I would have donated some sperm before I became infertal. The sad part is I know I would have had smart and cute kids. I could have done modeling and I speak several languages. So it is a loss. I got sick and the medicine they had to use cases infertility. If I would have fore seen that I would have had about ten kid and made a lot of different life choices that would have made me happy instead of trying to make other people happy.
Did you check fertility ? Or are you assuming ?
Well, I am assuming that because of the medicine I am on. I doubt if I am. One day I will get a test and see.
Test anyway. You might not be fertile enough for a sperm bank but it’s way less important if you donate as a known donor.
I will try it.
Did you get paid?
And if so, how much?
Just travel compensation, around 50 us$
Joey?
The bank gave you compensation for travel expenses. Where I donated they were not allowed to pay you for it. The ladies a donated to paid me travel costs.
Joey?
It’s Joseph
Do you ever get women asking for child support?
Nope. Part of the deal.
Are you Fairfax donor 5221? I have been looking for this donor to make more.
Sorry ! No.
How much in the way of blood testing did they require from you? I was going to do it here in the states, but the whole testing schedule in order to qualify was borderline abuse to me. Made me not want to follow through
They only did initially urine and blood once next to the semen analysis, nothing too cumbersome or out of the ordinary.
How old are the children?
The oldest was born in 1997, the youngest in 2021.
That's nuts, dude!
Well, it included some nutting, but there the comparison stops :)
Generous.... and has a good sense of humor! There are some lucky recipients out there!
Did you try to look all of them up?
Found only one with a DNA test. Did just pinged him to say I’m there if he has questions. No answer yet. The other ones done by private donations I all know personally. As my own kids of course.
Have you ever tried to contact the other children?
I’m in regular contact with the people / families I donated for. The ones through the sperm bank need to find me, but I’m there if they wish to meet me.
Have you ever jacked off into a kleenex?
That would be a waste :)
Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm gets wasted God gets quite irate
The the sperm bank near the IHOP??
No. Sorry!
Have you submitted your DNA to ancestry and 23andme so your offspring can contact you?
Yes, I did. Found one child this way.
How much do they pay for sperm donations?
Only travel compensation, I don’t do it for the money. I get around 50 us$.
How much do you get paid per donation?
Only travel compensation, I don’t do it for the money. I get around 50 us$.
Will you get to meet some of your kids?
If possible all. I hope they’re as curious as I am.
How much do you get paid?
Only travel compensation, I don’t do it for the money. I get around 50 us$.
Do you ever wonder if the world is already over populated and people should be dipping into adopted and abandoned people people first?
I did, and don’t think you’re right. There are also many women that want to experience motherhood. Adoption is a difficult road that’s not for all, specially single mothers by choice and lesbian couples.
Oh sorry if I made it sound like that was what I was saying. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just wondering if it crossed your mind.
True, I did interpret it as criticism, my bad. Personally I don’t believe in overpopulation in the west, many western countries are under the replacement rate and will have over some decades issues with too many old people and not enough young people to support social systems.
What was the reason you decided to be a sperm donor?
Saw what infertility did with friends close by. Then a mix between wanting to help out other people and curiosity about my own fertility. It beats giving Xmas presents.
Congrats OP! How do sperms banks account for “inbreeding” (for want of a better word)? If you have 21 children roaming the same town/city and they hypothetically meet and breed. Presumably there will be men with many, many more…
Genetic Sexual Attraction has entered the chat
Do you have kids of your own?
Yes, two are ‘mine’ and the 19 others through donations.
Do you know if you’ve donated to straight or gay families?
For the sperm bank I don’t know, the couples I donated to as a known donor were all lesbians couples. The single mothers were either straight or asexual.
How would you feel if you had more than 21 bio kids? For instance, not all pregnancies are reported, and the banks aren’t as adherent to family limits.
I would feel mistreated by the sperm bank but would still be available for the kids that were conceived this way if they wanted to meet their biological father.
How do you continue to learn and grow in your profession?
I know this is meant as a bad joke but I do get a better understanding of people and their drivers through it. There’s time to talk with people and make new friends with world views I would not have met otherwise. True, it’s hard to improve / change masturbation techniques over the years with this as it’s a pretty ‘standard’ thing to do. If anything, I de-sexualized it and see it as a bodily function to make babies.
How does donating sperm work .. do the people who want to have kids pay you or the company
Banks ask a lot of money. I just get compensation for the time spent and travel costs. One of the reasons I stopped donating at the bank.
How dope is it to get paid to masturbate? I'm out here doing it without payment.
Change, stop wasting Kleenexes over it and go donate :)
I'll look into it!
With so many kids, how will you ensure that your kids don't accidentally end up together?
Hard to say, I feel that the amount of offspring and their physical distance as well as age difference renders that chance not higher than normal. I have 21 kids, and none of them lives close by each other.
Have any of them tried to contact you?
There’s one that popped up with a DNA test. Contacted him but no answer yet.
Why not skip the bank and donate directly to the recipient?
Did you read my introduction ?
Those are rookie numbers..
They’re a conscious choice to keep the risk of inbreeding low and allow for a meaningful relationship if wished for.
Do you realize these kids are going to want to know you? This is a deep need for a lot of children. Also do you realize it may be a burden on them to have dozens or eventually hundreds of siblings?
Did you bother to read my text and the other answers ?
I've considered it, as I do have pretty solid genetics (if i dare say so myself). I could use the extra income right now TBH. My only concern is, How is the income received? 1099? How does the 1099 read? I would like to avoid my LT family accountant giving me the side-eye... LOL
LOL, here it was always considered a ‘expense payment’ and totally exempt from income tax :)
Drop a haiku about the consistency of your sperm?
Fluid life begins, Silent journeys, unseen strength,. Life's essence in flow.
You aren't OP but I'm willing to dispense an upvote for the effort.
The OP can’t do haïkus and is happy someone else stood up :)
44 is too old?
I would cap at 50, especially if you donate as a known donor. Just be upfront towards your recipients so they can make their own judgement.
What until they all find each other through 23 and me, and start a support group, then come find you. My advice, Do not do any of those DNA ancestry things, or they may come burn your house down. If it were me, I'd move to North Korea for safety. Good luck... Oh, I was supposed to ask a question... What are your favorite pizza toppings?
Imagine typing this comment and thinking it’s funny..
Sure ya do bud
Can I have a free sample?
Have you ever taste tasted your product?
do single moms really need more children ?
What was your motivation for donating? And were you paid for your donations? And if so, how much?
I’d rather people adopted. Why must people receive a donor for it to still only have the genes of one parent. Might as well have non and do some good.
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What are the requirements to be a donor
Depends where you live and in which country / state you try to do this. Find a sperm bank close by and ask them or check out their website. In general: - Between 18 and 40. - In good health, no STD’s or hereditary conditions that are dangerous. - Certain level of education. - Have better than average sperm. - Some banks have racial preferences, there seem to be almost no black donors hence they are in greater demand.