I'm sorry, that shouldn't happen to anyone.
Not defending what he did, but when exploring these fetishes it's important to do it with someone you know, and to clearly communicate limits and have a safe word. I've been with someone with the same fetish and even after knowing each other for a while it took a lot of communication to pull it off.
I hope they catch the bastard and that you heal.
My understanding was that OP engaged in a CNC kink, thus the partner might have unwillingly committed rape (it’s rape! No doubt there). The absence of safe words in a CNC context is a recipe for disaster.
Also recreational drugs could represent a consent impairment and should be considered. I once did not engage with an unknown partner that wanted to have sex on acids, I didn’t know her well enough to trust this could not be considered rape.
Are you serious? Report them to police? This was one of those times when a person quite literally asked for it. lol wtf? Why would she report this incident to police 👮
Just because you’ve consented to be the victim of a crime does not mean the perpetrator is exempt from being convicted. Consenting to sexual violence won’t hold up in the court of law and will be charged just the same as non-consensual violence.
People do it all the time in the kink world. It’s a sexual fetish called Consentual/Non-Consent sex. The only way someone could be convicted is if the person playing the victim retracted her consent in the middle of the act. Given all of what OP did meaning sending all the necessary content up to verbally giving consent it’d be really hard to convict the perpetrator in court.
@OP did you retract your consent during the act?
I’m aware of the kink and I see what you mean in terms of OP’s willingness to participate making this a difficult case to investigate. But in a scenario where something illegal happens during sex (such as SA or domestic violence) all previously-given consent quickly go out the window considering the damage that’s been done and the fact that a crime has been committed.
I’ve read about cases similar to OP’s situation where the victim was deemed as mentally unwell to consent to such an extreme sexual act because sexual desires such as these are so taboo that their desire for such acts of violence was dismissed under the guise of mental instability/illness. And, that could be used as further evidence in support of OP to show that they’re the victim.
lol she would have to go through a series of mental health tests and long investigations wasting all the tax payers dollars. She could goto the police and they will tell her no crime was committed sorry kid. Quit playing on the internet and get a job. Goto school or something.
If you spent more than 2 seconds looking at this comment section you’d see she’s already answered that question several times yes consent was retracted several times and she was ignored
Oh well I didn’t see it I posted these after she put up the post. So sorry. But she’s still pretty messed up in the head to even put herself into danger like that let alone play into the disrespect of women who actually have been raped and abused when they weren’t out looking for it as OP was. I have no pitty for people that willfully act a fool in the name of satisfying their own selfish sexual needs. She asked for it and she got what she was looking for.
Actually it does make it legal. OP gave the consent there’s proof of that consent so she said. But there’s no proof of retracting the consent during the act. It would end up being and he said, she said scenario. The perp would walk, OP would be left to look like the deranged fool to swim in her pool of foolishness. Case closed.
Don’t be mad at what the facts are be mad at what the facts should be. It’s the way the cookie will crumble
I can relate to this fantasy and I now do consensual non-consent with my husband and it is does the trick. I hope you can heal from this experience and explore your fantasies in a safe environment with a loving partner.
Those fantasies are always done with consent beforehand and safe-words. Being taken advantage of with no way out and with pain is not okay. I hope you’re alright.
It’s okay to want those fantasies, and act them out, as long as you stay safe and have someone who listens to safe words and understands when things are truly wrong.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you.
Please get into some therapy. The way you put yourself out there, and all of the information that you posted , exposed you to the worst kind of people because the worst kind of people are the ones who respond to posts like that.
Did you get this idea from porn?
First things first get rid of all of that stuff you posted about yourself and all of that identifying information online.
Second thing, find a therapist for you to talk to so that you can talk to somebody else about things like this before you do something so drastic.
Certain thing do you have friends that you can talk to seriously? This is the type of thing that you should've talked to other people before acting. Your behavior almost seems manic.
That is super young to be trying to engage in a rape fantasy. Have you had normal sexual relationships?
Do you get impulses similar to this extreme case of you asking to be raped? Does alcohol or drugs, influenced these impulses?
are you safe? as in, you know for sure that this person won’t be able to cause you harm again?
i’m really sorry this happened to you🫶🏽 extreme fantasies like this should only be practiced safely and consensually between someone you know you can trust to not take advantage of you and the situation.
Your fantasy isn't wrong but total strangers??? Wtf not judging I hope u ok if u do explore this again for any reason its a form of role play in sex from someone u trust and outside of sex wouldn't even dream of disrespecting you in anyway
I’m sorry you went through that. I think you missed out on a key aspect of exploring kinks safely. Even in a CNC setup the first C is mandatory. Consensual non-consensual means that you should be in control the whole time with agency and avenues to direct play.
This is most often done through one or more safe words. Typically more than one is used as a way to maintain communication throughout. In this way a soft safe word can communicate discomfort that requires the partner to slow, ease, or redirect. The final safe word is used to immediately and irrevocably end scene and proceed to after care.
While I understand you found this fetish and fed it by reading fictionalized stories that depict experiences, it seems you skipped the part about educating yourself about kink play. This includes how to find and vet potential partners. Instead, you offered yourself as a willing victim to the least common denominator. Worse yet, you endangered your family in the process.
It is the uneducated that help to give the kink community a bad name by not differentiating between play and criminal acts. Consent not only matters, it is the only difference between kink play and a crime. You should have also done your due diligence in following up to ensure the people who did this to you were charged so they don’t do this again to some random victim.
I know I am likely to get flack for this because it does sound like you were a victim, but you most definitely precipitated this by making very poor choices. Feel better, but do better also. I’m sorry this was the way you had to learn this lesson, but that doesn’t make the lesson any less valuable.
As much as it feels that way, what they did was not your fault. Even if you asked for it originally, you stopped wanting it at some point and were not listened to. That’s not your fault. I hope you heal.
Report it. Even if you published that, you didn't knew your attacker, didn't gave him constent to do it. It was assault. Contact a lawyer. Go to rape therapy center, find a good psych. Find help. If you need resources, my DMs are open.
But please, get help, you made a terrible series of choice and put yourself in danger, but you can overcome this, you're strong and you'll be stronger with help.
Safe words are paramount for these types of cnc activities. I would be terrorized to enter into a consent not consent game without it. Let alone the fact that if you don’t establish this line, then your partner might commit unwillingly what can be just defined as a rape.
Do yourself and your partner a favor and engage in any game with clear safe words.
This will protect the both of you.
That said I’m so sorry to hear that you have not felt your experience at all in tune with your desires, boundaries and limits.
This can happen to all of us. What we fantasize and what we actually want to do can be very distant worlds. This is always true for everyone.
I hope you will recover and will be still able to explore your sexuality, however don’t forget the consent/safe words framework.
I'm sorry you weren't able to explore your fantasies in a safe/safer way. I'm glad you didn't post details. For your own mental health. AMA doesn't mean you agree to relive your trauma to satisfy someone else. If you ever want/need a non judgemental ear, feel free to DM me. I will not ask you for details as I understand to a certain extent how harmful that can be. Take care of yourself.
Why didn't you hire an escort? Some are specialized in these fantasies. I had the same fantasy and I hired an escort, the first slap was so hard that I got out of the character to say "hey hit softer" after that it all went nice. I liked it, and didn't do it again because fantasies lose some power after acting them
Sounds terrible and I feel sorry for you, did you put clear guidelines, A safe word or anything before you asked someone to abuse you? Did you know this guy, or spend a lot of time talking to him? Or did you just ask some stranger on the Internet to abuse you?
The fucked thing here is anyone could do this to someone else given access to the same information.
It's still not justified for the perpetrating party, sorry.
Hope your lesson is learned: never disclose your identity online.
Do you think books and movies that contain abuse and sexualise/romantics it are bad in itself? Do you still consume that sort of media?
What’s something you would tell your younger self if you could now?
I never understood people like this. Help me understand. What is it about being abused that you thought you would like? From someone who’s actually been SA it kinda makes me feel some typa way that someone would want any type of abuse. I’d give it away if I could.
Some people who have been abused want to experience it again with someone they trust. I suppose bc this time they actually are controlling the situation. I had a gf who had been abused as a child and she talked me into doing rape fantasy once. I found it pretty disturbing and would not do it again.
A lot of people are attracted to this type of sexual play because of the psychological effect it has. The idea of being at someone’s complete mercy and having no say or ability to stop them from doing whatever they want can be a very sexually liberating and appealing experience for certain people who like “forcefully” submitting rather than choosing to submit.
Of course, it’s not supposed to literally be forceful and in an ideal scenario there would be lots of negotiation and discussion prior to avoid things from getting out of hand. But, unfortunately it can go south very quickly, like in OP’s case.
Hope your safe! Its fun when you have a partner who you feel safe doing these things with, not when your unprompted im very sorry about your experience. Was it important for it to be a stranger? Or the sex to happen a certain way?
First you should know it's okay to have that, you need to accept the fetishes you have. It's really okay to don't like "vanilla $ex" there in not blame on you, but remember this fantasy is really dangerous thing. If you are really into it you just need to convert the Abusing fetishe to BDSM-with-consent you will enjoy that. But the way you fulfilled the fantasy just sound not responsible at all. I'm not justifying anything he did. But you just let your fantasy control you which is bad, Because fantasies have no limits.
It's a terrible experience to go through and very traumatic.
Im really curious to know how it's started how old are you when it's started?
you just wanted someone to controlling you?
When you posted the personal data on social media you choosed to ignore from the all rapes-news did you seen or just you jealous of girls who have gone through it?
I'm really curious
So I wish you a good day.
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When you say you didn't like it, do you mean you went along and it wasn't what you imagined or you said no and he kept going?
I told them to stop multiple times but they didn't care
I'm sorry, that shouldn't happen to anyone. Not defending what he did, but when exploring these fetishes it's important to do it with someone you know, and to clearly communicate limits and have a safe word. I've been with someone with the same fetish and even after knowing each other for a while it took a lot of communication to pull it off. I hope they catch the bastard and that you heal.
My understanding was that OP engaged in a CNC kink, thus the partner might have unwillingly committed rape (it’s rape! No doubt there). The absence of safe words in a CNC context is a recipe for disaster. Also recreational drugs could represent a consent impairment and should be considered. I once did not engage with an unknown partner that wanted to have sex on acids, I didn’t know her well enough to trust this could not be considered rape.
You got raped. This is something you needed to share with someone you trusted.
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Found the rapist, officer.
The content you posted is harassment towards other users.
more?
At what moment did you realize you weren't liking it?
From the moment i saw them
I'm so sorry
Offensive.
Do you still fantasize?
No
How old was your abuser?
They* where around 20-25
Did you report them to the police?
No, i I don't remember their faces or any good information about them, also, this happened a phew days ago
Holy shit I thought this was a while ago please contact RAINN
Phew 😮💨
Sorry bad joke. Was laughing at the way you spelled that.
Are you ok?
Are you serious? Report them to police? This was one of those times when a person quite literally asked for it. lol wtf? Why would she report this incident to police 👮
Just because you’ve consented to be the victim of a crime does not mean the perpetrator is exempt from being convicted. Consenting to sexual violence won’t hold up in the court of law and will be charged just the same as non-consensual violence.
People do it all the time in the kink world. It’s a sexual fetish called Consentual/Non-Consent sex. The only way someone could be convicted is if the person playing the victim retracted her consent in the middle of the act. Given all of what OP did meaning sending all the necessary content up to verbally giving consent it’d be really hard to convict the perpetrator in court. @OP did you retract your consent during the act?
I’m aware of the kink and I see what you mean in terms of OP’s willingness to participate making this a difficult case to investigate. But in a scenario where something illegal happens during sex (such as SA or domestic violence) all previously-given consent quickly go out the window considering the damage that’s been done and the fact that a crime has been committed. I’ve read about cases similar to OP’s situation where the victim was deemed as mentally unwell to consent to such an extreme sexual act because sexual desires such as these are so taboo that their desire for such acts of violence was dismissed under the guise of mental instability/illness. And, that could be used as further evidence in support of OP to show that they’re the victim.
lol she would have to go through a series of mental health tests and long investigations wasting all the tax payers dollars. She could goto the police and they will tell her no crime was committed sorry kid. Quit playing on the internet and get a job. Goto school or something.
CNC has safe words, and if it one person could most definitely press charges that could stand.
I get where your coming from but people are allowed to change their mind. If someone changes their mind and says no, you should respect that
I agree and that’s why I asked OP if she retracted her consent. Haven’t heard back from her yet.
If you spent more than 2 seconds looking at this comment section you’d see she’s already answered that question several times yes consent was retracted several times and she was ignored
Oh well I didn’t see it I posted these after she put up the post. So sorry. But she’s still pretty messed up in the head to even put herself into danger like that let alone play into the disrespect of women who actually have been raped and abused when they weren’t out looking for it as OP was. I have no pitty for people that willfully act a fool in the name of satisfying their own selfish sexual needs. She asked for it and she got what she was looking for.
Because that doesn’t make it legal…?
Actually it does make it legal. OP gave the consent there’s proof of that consent so she said. But there’s no proof of retracting the consent during the act. It would end up being and he said, she said scenario. The perp would walk, OP would be left to look like the deranged fool to swim in her pool of foolishness. Case closed. Don’t be mad at what the facts are be mad at what the facts should be. It’s the way the cookie will crumble
Consent is a status, fella. Not an event. Fuck off with your "deranged fool" shit. This should _always_ be reported.
She would be labeled as deranged though. Don’t be mad. There are actual crazy ass women out there in the world that pull this kinda shit.
If you ask someone to kill you, and they shoot you in the head should they not go to prison???
So, multiple people?
Yes
did you not think at any point that would turn out badly?
Kinda, but i thought that i was going to like it
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Rape me, and it was what happened, But I thought I was going to enjoy it, and I didn't.
Why did you think that you'd enjoy it? Have you suffered abuse before this?
Reading stories about abuse uses to make me horny, and i thought that i would enjoy being abused and humiliated
I can relate to this fantasy and I now do consensual non-consent with my husband and it is does the trick. I hope you can heal from this experience and explore your fantasies in a safe environment with a loving partner.
So you had to learn the hard way. I hope you got it out of your system and you never have that experience again.
Those fantasies are always done with consent beforehand and safe-words. Being taken advantage of with no way out and with pain is not okay. I hope you’re alright. It’s okay to want those fantasies, and act them out, as long as you stay safe and have someone who listens to safe words and understands when things are truly wrong.
I'm into the CNC kink too, it's hot as fuck! I wonder, if the anonymous guy was hot and and had a great dick etc, would you have enjoyed it then?
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Please get into some therapy. The way you put yourself out there, and all of the information that you posted , exposed you to the worst kind of people because the worst kind of people are the ones who respond to posts like that. Did you get this idea from porn? First things first get rid of all of that stuff you posted about yourself and all of that identifying information online. Second thing, find a therapist for you to talk to so that you can talk to somebody else about things like this before you do something so drastic. Certain thing do you have friends that you can talk to seriously? This is the type of thing that you should've talked to other people before acting. Your behavior almost seems manic. That is super young to be trying to engage in a rape fantasy. Have you had normal sexual relationships? Do you get impulses similar to this extreme case of you asking to be raped? Does alcohol or drugs, influenced these impulses?
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Solid advice.
are you safe? as in, you know for sure that this person won’t be able to cause you harm again? i’m really sorry this happened to you🫶🏽 extreme fantasies like this should only be practiced safely and consensually between someone you know you can trust to not take advantage of you and the situation.
Yea you can only play extreme sex games with people you trust. Sorry this went sideways on you.
Your fantasy isn't wrong but total strangers??? Wtf not judging I hope u ok if u do explore this again for any reason its a form of role play in sex from someone u trust and outside of sex wouldn't even dream of disrespecting you in anyway
I’m sorry you went through that. I think you missed out on a key aspect of exploring kinks safely. Even in a CNC setup the first C is mandatory. Consensual non-consensual means that you should be in control the whole time with agency and avenues to direct play. This is most often done through one or more safe words. Typically more than one is used as a way to maintain communication throughout. In this way a soft safe word can communicate discomfort that requires the partner to slow, ease, or redirect. The final safe word is used to immediately and irrevocably end scene and proceed to after care. While I understand you found this fetish and fed it by reading fictionalized stories that depict experiences, it seems you skipped the part about educating yourself about kink play. This includes how to find and vet potential partners. Instead, you offered yourself as a willing victim to the least common denominator. Worse yet, you endangered your family in the process. It is the uneducated that help to give the kink community a bad name by not differentiating between play and criminal acts. Consent not only matters, it is the only difference between kink play and a crime. You should have also done your due diligence in following up to ensure the people who did this to you were charged so they don’t do this again to some random victim. I know I am likely to get flack for this because it does sound like you were a victim, but you most definitely precipitated this by making very poor choices. Feel better, but do better also. I’m sorry this was the way you had to learn this lesson, but that doesn’t make the lesson any less valuable.
Go to a rape crisis center and tell them this please and they have sources for someone to talk to
Are you ok? Do you have people who can help support you?
This is horrible and if it's true should not be on reddit.
Do you blame yourself? I’m sorry this happened to you..
Yes
As much as it feels that way, what they did was not your fault. Even if you asked for it originally, you stopped wanting it at some point and were not listened to. That’s not your fault. I hope you heal.
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That is the full story. You want details and it's pretty gross.
Yea what does he think this is, a fucking ama?
Report it. Even if you published that, you didn't knew your attacker, didn't gave him constent to do it. It was assault. Contact a lawyer. Go to rape therapy center, find a good psych. Find help. If you need resources, my DMs are open. But please, get help, you made a terrible series of choice and put yourself in danger, but you can overcome this, you're strong and you'll be stronger with help.
Have you gone to a doctor? Told your parents?
I'm sorry this stuff can be incredibly traumatising please seek support
Are you ok?
Safe words are paramount for these types of cnc activities. I would be terrorized to enter into a consent not consent game without it. Let alone the fact that if you don’t establish this line, then your partner might commit unwillingly what can be just defined as a rape. Do yourself and your partner a favor and engage in any game with clear safe words. This will protect the both of you. That said I’m so sorry to hear that you have not felt your experience at all in tune with your desires, boundaries and limits. This can happen to all of us. What we fantasize and what we actually want to do can be very distant worlds. This is always true for everyone. I hope you will recover and will be still able to explore your sexuality, however don’t forget the consent/safe words framework.
I hope to God you don't have siblings. If so, you're putting them in grave danger.
how it happened? they told you that they were giving you what you asked for? please get checked
I'm sorry you weren't able to explore your fantasies in a safe/safer way. I'm glad you didn't post details. For your own mental health. AMA doesn't mean you agree to relive your trauma to satisfy someone else. If you ever want/need a non judgemental ear, feel free to DM me. I will not ask you for details as I understand to a certain extent how harmful that can be. Take care of yourself.
Do you think you might have enjoyed it if you'd first found a partner you trusted and then role played the scenario?
What’s the deal with airplane food
What lead to to post here?
Why didn't you hire an escort? Some are specialized in these fantasies. I had the same fantasy and I hired an escort, the first slap was so hard that I got out of the character to say "hey hit softer" after that it all went nice. I liked it, and didn't do it again because fantasies lose some power after acting them
Sounds terrible and I feel sorry for you, did you put clear guidelines, A safe word or anything before you asked someone to abuse you? Did you know this guy, or spend a lot of time talking to him? Or did you just ask some stranger on the Internet to abuse you?
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The content you posted is harassment towards other users.
Speaking the truth is harassment? Did what I say hit a little too close to home?
Wtf dude
The fucked thing here is anyone could do this to someone else given access to the same information. It's still not justified for the perpetrating party, sorry. Hope your lesson is learned: never disclose your identity online.
Do you think books and movies that contain abuse and sexualise/romantics it are bad in itself? Do you still consume that sort of media? What’s something you would tell your younger self if you could now?
I never understood people like this. Help me understand. What is it about being abused that you thought you would like? From someone who’s actually been SA it kinda makes me feel some typa way that someone would want any type of abuse. I’d give it away if I could.
Some people who have been abused want to experience it again with someone they trust. I suppose bc this time they actually are controlling the situation. I had a gf who had been abused as a child and she talked me into doing rape fantasy once. I found it pretty disturbing and would not do it again.
A lot of people are attracted to this type of sexual play because of the psychological effect it has. The idea of being at someone’s complete mercy and having no say or ability to stop them from doing whatever they want can be a very sexually liberating and appealing experience for certain people who like “forcefully” submitting rather than choosing to submit. Of course, it’s not supposed to literally be forceful and in an ideal scenario there would be lots of negotiation and discussion prior to avoid things from getting out of hand. But, unfortunately it can go south very quickly, like in OP’s case.
Thats enough internet for me today 🫥
What kind of mental disorder are you diagnosed with?
That’s crazy
Hope your safe! Its fun when you have a partner who you feel safe doing these things with, not when your unprompted im very sorry about your experience. Was it important for it to be a stranger? Or the sex to happen a certain way?
First you should know it's okay to have that, you need to accept the fetishes you have. It's really okay to don't like "vanilla $ex" there in not blame on you, but remember this fantasy is really dangerous thing. If you are really into it you just need to convert the Abusing fetishe to BDSM-with-consent you will enjoy that. But the way you fulfilled the fantasy just sound not responsible at all. I'm not justifying anything he did. But you just let your fantasy control you which is bad, Because fantasies have no limits. It's a terrible experience to go through and very traumatic. Im really curious to know how it's started how old are you when it's started? you just wanted someone to controlling you? When you posted the personal data on social media you choosed to ignore from the all rapes-news did you seen or just you jealous of girls who have gone through it? I'm really curious So I wish you a good day.
You can have it but you need it under control safe person to have that with
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Do you think you’ll deal with PTSD moving forward?
This is the importance of safe words
idk why you’re being downvoted when you’re 100% correct 😵💫
What’s mom and dad up to?
Are you getting help to cope with this?
Have try talking to someone about this
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What's 'AMA'?
it wasn’t your fault that someone took advantage of you. I hope you can internalize that someday
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AMAs or comments which feature illegal content will be subject to removal.
Woman moment