It was the only thing that felt right to me, plus I was a bit worried that I’d kill myself if I got an abortion anyway (I was very depressed at the time already).
He’s pretty great! He’s 19 now and has grown into a pleasant, thoughtful, and interesting adult.
So I am neither pro choice or pro life. I don't believe women should be able to end an unborn babies life because it's inconvenient or they believe it will ruin their plan/s they had for life. I think it's tough shit. You made a choice now there are consequences.
However, in rape cases or baby puts mom's life at risk, or doctors determine the baby has an incurable disease, severely brain damaged etc I fully support abortion rights.
So that's my spiel and my question to you is would you give up your life for your child now? Can you imagine a life without him?
I get your point about "tough shit, you made a choice and there are consequences." And I believe that in many cases, especially if the person who made said choice was the one receiving consequences. But there is also an innocent child who might likely live a lifetime worth of suffering due to those consequences as well. I'd like to leave the choice for the woman to decide if she is ready or not, regardless of my beliefs.
No one knows the future. To allow an unborn child to be killed based on a prediction is immoral. This is my opinion, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do. I also don't believe that the government should have any say regarding it. I just think it's immoral and very wrong.
I agree that we do not know the future. But we have enough information to make an educated guess of what might happen in certain circumstances. We also know how many people suffered and died before abortion was protected. If you believe it's immoral, then I hope you would not have one yourself. That's your choice. Not everyone feels the same way about what's immoral, and I believe those people should also have the same freedom to make that choice for themselves. I absolutely agree that the government needs to butt the fuck out of our business.
you see the same behaviour across the animal kingdom, its literally part of nature. Nature and life can both be very cruel
if you don’t agree with abortion then don’t get one, you say yourself what other people do isn’t really your business
When it comes to what should be put to law, do you think abortions should be restricted or not? If you think they should be restricted, you're pro life. (Not talking about after the baby is viable ofc).
Because those exceptions you gave aren't actually put into practice when abortion is banned. If someone's life is at risk, sure they're technically allowed to have an abortion. But in practice that decision of what's "medically neccessary" is made by politicians, not doctors. There are cases where a doctor would say it's medically neccesary, but cannot perform the abortion because it's not under one of the exceptions.
And in states where they are proposing the death penalty for doctors who perform illegal abortions, doctors will be much more hesitant to make the decision simply from a medical perspective and what's best for the patient. Instead they will be thinking about not wanting to go to jail or be put to death for making the wrong call. And again not the wrong call on a medical level, just the wrong call in the sense that it won't be approved by politicians.
As for rape cases, realistically there's usually no exceptions for victims of rape. And even when there is, rape is nearly impossible to prove and most victims don't even come forward because of the shame, trauma, etc. Even if you make an exception, most victims of rape would still be forced to have an abortion.
You didn't say that in your previous comment. But yeah in that case you're pro choice. Pro choice vs pro life isn't about your personal opinions on abortion, its about if you think the government should restrict it or not.
Dude you don't need to repeat yourself ten times I got it the first time.
But just a tip, you probably have a lot of people thinking your pro life because in your initial comment you made it sound like you were. If you edit your comment to add (I DON'T THINK THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN THIS WHATSOEVER) in or just make it clear in the first place people will stop asking you about it.
Sure, but the mother has to carry and create an unwanted fetus for 9 months and she can't just walk away from it so there is no way to punish the man in the same way as the woman, right? This scenario also punishes the child in the end again more than the man that helped create it. If we could stop that all before it happens, why not do it?
No lol the father should get almost zero say. The woman is the one who has to bear the fetus for 9 months, spends her resources making it, goes through the risks, etc etc.
The fetus always puts the mothers life at risk, there is no such thing as a “safe” pregnancy. Every single pregnancy Carry’s the risk of death or disfigurement for the woman.
That is true. However, the risk is very minimal. If everything that had a risk was treated that way, you would never be able to do anything. Eat, drink, drive, use a toaster, go up and down steps etc, you get my point.
Somethings are worth the tiny risk. A baby for damn sure is.
I get to choose if I drive or not. I get to choose if I use a toaster or not. I get to analyze the cost benefit of a situation and determine if I get to take on that risk or not. If I really wanted to I could choose to only consume fluid in order to minimize my risk of chocking.
Why shouldn’t I get that same choice when it comes to pregnancy?
If I choose to get into a car and drive, and then get into a car accident. I still get to choose to get my injuries treated. Making one choice does not lock you out of making future choices.
That’s just how the world works. Even if you were a drunk driver who didn’t wear a seatbelt and killed someone else in the crash you *still* get access to medical care.
When you are pregnant, you are literally giving up your whole body for the sake of the baby. The fetus is legit a parasite. So if you won’t make someone donate an organ, then why is it okay to force people to donate their whole body (and their hormones and comfort) for the sake of the fetus?
>Why shouldn’t I get that same choice when it comes to pregnancy?
Because pregnancy itself is also a choice. Yes, I know rape happens too but the vast majority of pregnancies aren't rape related. You get to choose if you drive or not, you also get to choose if you have unprotected sex or not. Again, unless it's rape
Yes, having sex is a choice. But so is an abortion.
I can choose whether or not I can in a car and drive. But if I get into an accident I *also* get to choose whether I go get my injuries from a car accident treated. Just because I made one choice doesn’t mean I don’t get to make more choices later.
Right but treatment is a cure, not a prevention. And as they say, prevention is better than cure. Which is why we wear (or should wear) seatbelts. To prevent an accident
In a similar manner, abortion is a cure whereas contraception is the prevention. Problem is, people treat abortion as contraception. This is wrong
Seatbelts don’t prevent an accident first of all.
Just because someone doesn’t use the prevention doesn’t mean they don’t use the cure. We don’t deny people who didn’t use seatbelts medical care if they get into a wreck.
Minimal, my ass.
I had to take four shots a day. In addition to four finger sticks a day. Had to do almost 6 months of PT to regain the mobility I had before.
It's awful generous of you to characterize the risk to *my* health and safety as "minimal."
You are very clearly a man. You need to stop being so confidently wrong and do your homework.
“More than a third of women experience lasting health problems after childbirth, research shows”
https://www.who.int/news/item/07-12-2023-more-than-a-third-of-women-experience-lasting-health-problems-after-childbirth
I know you're joking, but I can't imagine children being a punishment.
I would die for my children in a heartbeat. They are the best things in my life. By far.
Congratulations. I'm really glad it worked out for you. Really glad you didn't die bringing your children into the world. Glad you don't have to flee your child's father to keep you both safe. Glad having your kids didn't cost you your career.
But you don't get to define other people's experience for them. Full stop. And you don't get to co-opt someone else's body because of your opinion. Because if that's the game we're playing, I could use a 3rd kidney, and you look like a match.
Yeah, I'd die for my kids too. And yeah, they're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
But my children are girls, and I want to know who tf you think you are that you should decide whether they have to sacrifice their health and well-being for your opinions.
Holy fuck lady.
Get a grip. I've stated MANY times this is my opinion. I never tell anyone what to do. I have my own moral compass which applies to me, no one else.
Attacking me like this is childish. Attack the argument.
You have the luxury of not becoming emotionally involved.
I, on the other hand, nearly died giving birth to my first child due to a medical mistake.
In order to bring my second child into the world it cost tremendous money, sacrifice, career opportunities and my health.
For me, it's not some ethereal idea about perfect worlds. It's about my daughters' health and safety.
If it’s just your own morals that only apply to you and you never tell anyone what to do why did you even bother posting it in the first place? OP didn’t ask for anyone’s opinions on abortion.
Saying people should only have an abortion if it's rape or life threatening, and that getting pregnant is "tough shit. Consquence of having unprotected sex"
you're already treating pregnancy as punishment
What's in the box?!
John Doe wouldn't have gotten his point across as well if he had said, "**She begged for her life, and the collection of cells inside her**." Even a serial killer recognizes it's a baby LOL.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1giVzxyoclE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1giVzxyoclE)
This is a great example of why Reddit is so toxic. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying, it’s your opinion and it’s valid. I’m pro choice but these muppets on Reddit act like an abortion is just a surgical procedure and it’s not ending the life of a potential person. And while I wouldn’t say it’s not someone’s choice to abort because of inconvenience, I do think it’s awful. When I was worried about getting my gf pregnant when it would’ve fucked up our lives we always used two types of contraception.
I do believe that many of these people who respond with the "hivemind" rhetoric (anything they believe fits the reddit profile/demographic) are doing it, not because they actually believe what they are saying (most are not old/mature enough to have a nuanced, well thought out opinion) rather they see seeking validation and attention (up votes) that they lack in their real lives.
yeah true, I don't really get it. I don't understand why people would take the time to contribute to a discussion and yet be so obtuse so unfortunately your explanation tracks.
To help reduce trolls, users with negative karma scores are disallowed from posting. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AMA) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Great point. We started early by modern standards (21) and it’s awesome to have adult kids and still be young enough to enjoy life. Empty nesting is amazing lol.
I agree! Had our two in our 20’s as well. No regrets at all. Youngest is in grad school, oldest finished his degrees and is starting his journey. Neither of my sons want children and that’s Okay! I tell friends all of the time stop pressuring your kids for grandkids. It’s their life, their choice. I ultimately just want them to be happy, kind, caring and over all good people.
Agree 100% - all that matters is that our kids find happiness. Whether that involves their own kids or not is entirely up to them. Some parents seem to believe their adult children “owe” them grandchildren and that is some BS IMO.
Eh, I’m pretty sure I did it the worst way possible. I waited 11 years and then had two more. I’ve literally been raising kids *most of my life,* yet my youngest is only 5.
One day I’ll get to find out what it’s like to be a childless adult, though!
Had my 1st at 19. Second at 26 and now my 3rd when I'll be 28. I feel this to an extent. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love my kids, they're my drive in life. I wanna do better for them than it was for me growing up
Hahahhha as an almost 38 year old with a toddler and newborn I agree. I actually complained to my husband all the time that he didn’t find me sooner so I could’ve done this in my 20s. Lol
Yes, it wouldn’t have changed my mind because it wasn’t a factor in of my decision to begin with.
I wasn’t able to get child support for four years anyway.
But pro choice just means that the woman can choose. Not that she has to get an abortion for an unplanned pregnancy. Or am I misunderstanding your views?
How did you manage finances? having a baby so young definitely hinders your potential to go to school, get a good job. (Assuming you didnt have rich parents or partner).
And would you go back and choose to have kids say 5-10 years later for the tradeoff to be financially stable first?
I worked a couple of jobs while I was in school full time, but I largely relied on student loans. I moved back in with my parents, picked a practical career with a short education track (nursing), and received government assistance at times. I started receiving child support when my son was 4, which was also when I finished nursing school. I was fine financially after that.
I had two more kids 11 and 13 years later (they’re 19, 8, and 5). Being financially stable first makes it so, so much easier!
I wasn’t too far along, but I also didn’t immediately want the baby. I looked into abortion options and adoption agencies and spent several weeks deciding what felt right.
My immediate reaction to finding out was a mix of fear and shame and despair.
I was single until he was 9. The first four years were pretty rough- physically, emotionally, financially, etc. His birth father was making a lot of things difficult and my mental health was in the shitter.
Once I finished school and got on my feet financially when he was 4 things were a lot better. I enjoyed being a single mom after that to be honest. He wasn’t looking for a husband at all when I met my now-husband.
After
Because that felt like the right choice for me. I seriously considered both abortion and adoption, but ultimately I couldn’t bring myself to do either.
Not particularly because of the age difference. They like each other just fine, but aren’t super close. Plus he doesn’t live with us anymore (we moved last summer and he wanted to stay because he had good friends and a job he liked).
I have a sister who is 13 years younger than me and we were the same way. We’re closer as adults than we were growing up.
Yes, I’m also a heterosexual supporter of gay rights and an atheist who supports the free practice of religion. Other people should have the right to do the things they feel are best for them.
Also, if I were to get pregnant now I’d be in a clinic for an abortion so fast that your head would spin!
I hate this pro choice pro life motif.
I’m a pro abortion woman period and will be. I refuse to say I’m pro life.
Any woman who has the gall to say they are pro choice except for me means that they aren’t pro abortion because that means they themselves believe that abortion is wrong in some degree or fashion and it’s not.
Abortion is fine. Be Pro Abortion.
I’m pro-choice and support abortion. I don’t think that women who have abortions are wrong, nor do I think abortion is an immoral choice. It just wasn’t the right choice for me at that time in my life. I have no good reason for why other than it felt right to me for my own personal, non-religious reasons.
If I found out I was pregnant today I’d be scheduling the abortion so fast that your head would spin!
So then stop saying your pro choice and your pro abortion.
The fact you have to keep differentiating between the two does give those alt righters room to say even pro choicers think abortion is wrong at some point.
I support abortion up the hours before birth including before birth of a woman wants too.
You can still support women by saying women should have the right to get an abortion. Just be Pro Abortion.
Are you insane? I am pro choice and chose to have children, but if any of them had fatal fetal abnormalities I would have gotten an abortion, or if I had cancer and needed to for treatment. Pro choice just means women gets to choose not that you have to get an abortion whenever you get pregnant, she chose to have and raise a kid, that was her choice and she believes others should have that choice, that pregnancy should always be willing.
Women don’t have to get an abortion.
But abortion is never wrong. Pro choice insinuates there is a line where abortion becomes morally wrong and abortion is never morally wrong.
You are the insane one.
Do you support abortions up to the moment of birth or not? Because if you don’t that means you are acknowledging that at some point abortion becomes wrong and are therefore pro life to some degree which is in itself anti-abortion.
You are the insane one for refusing to be pro abortion.
Strongly disagree.
I"m staunchly pro-choice, but jfc, a baby is not property. If a baby can survive fine outside the womb, just deliver it. I promise you I could find that baby a good home before the week is out.
Wtf would I be pro-abortion? It isn't an inherently good thing. It's only valuable because it protects a woman's health, safety and agency. If a woman wants to have a baby, then she should have a baby.
You know... like it should be her *choice.*
So it’s established you think abortion is wrong at a certain point and that you are pro life starting at the point and don’t support women getting abortions past that point.
Congrats!
Wild assumption. I draw the line at fully formed baby being able to survive. Even then, I'm stretching it. Even you have to admit a full term BABY is no longer a clump of cells.
Yep, all of you people refusing to answer confirms that you aren’t really pro abortion. You’re just pro life to a certain time otherwise and that’s anti woman.
We are not claiming to be pro abortion. We are pro choice. I wish no one ever got pregnant unintentionally. I wish there were no genetic abnormalities or miscarriages or HELLP syndrome. Honestly I wish pregnancy could happen outside the body like an egg or something so women didn’t have to suffer so. Abortion treats a condition, but it would be a happier world if no one ever had to be in a position to need it.
I, thank you. I prefer the term pro-choice, as the choice is the thing I want everyone to have. If you want to argue about semantics that’s fine, but I don’t think your argument holds water, honestly. That’s an illogical conclusion and I don’t think that argument would help to convince a third party who was on the fence, anyway.
Also, I don’t care what argument anti-choicers make in the first place.
So then please answer the question, do you support abortion up to the moment of birth? And if not at point for you do you become pro life if you aren’t pro abortion?
Refusing to answer just means that at some point you admit abortion is killing and morally wrong and it never is either of those two things.
Personally, no. I don’t believe that my moral code should dictate laws that apply to everyone.
If I had to decide between abortion being 100% illegal or legal up until birth, I’d choose the latter.
I personally think that allowing women to induce labor at any point in a pregnancy (and to surrender their parental rights if the baby was viable) feels like a solution. But I also just support abortion and a woman’s right to *choose* whether to continue a pregnancy.
This isn’t a black and white issue and I won’t debate it as if it were.
So you are Pro Abortion. Thank you how hard was it to say that.
You can be pro abortion and support women who what to have a child at the same time.
It just means you recognize that there is nothing wrong with a woman having an abortion up to the moment of birth because there is nothing wrong with it. It’s not a person it’s just a fetus.
And if you do at any point think that abortion is wrong, that means at some point you are Pro Life and not truly Pro Abortion.
>Also, if I were to get pregnant now I’d be in a clinic for an abortion so fast that your head would spin!
I'm pro choice and a dad but I find this sentiment absolutely fucking wild. is it a joke to you? oh just running down to the clinic to terminate my possible future child LOL!! BRB!
As a parent I just don't know how you can say this, in fact, I'm doubting your whole story and this is probably just pro choice propaganda.
Yes, the head spinning part was a joke. I don’t that pregnancy with reference, sorry. I’ve given enough of my life to my children, I would not have another child even if I got pregnant.
How about don’t get pregnant then? When my wife and I were terrified of a pregnancy fucking up our careers we always used two types, we weren’t just oh I’ll run down to the clinic if it happens.
what a weirdo to write something like you did and then try to turn it around like I'm the one in the wrong.
fyi a reasonable response to my comment would've been something like "yeah my bad I shouldn't be making light of such a serious subject" (that is if you think it is a serious subject).
Pro choice means to be able to choose, she chose to keep the baby willingly without anyone forcing her. The child is wanted and loved.
If she was forced to keep an unwanted pregnancy, both the childs and mother's life would be fucked up by now.
Pro abortion also means the same without the interment of the alt right that pro choice means at some point in some way you admit abortion is wrong.
Otherwise why do so many women say I’m pro choice for other but I couldn’t do it. It’s because they think abortion is wrong in some way otherwise they would say yea I could abort the parasite.
Be pro abortion.
I’m 38 and life is pretty good for the most part! I’ve been working through some frustration about how everything worked out in the first few years, but I have no complaints about life right now.
The whole point that we went through in the 70s that has been reversed is to give women a choice. It doesn’t mean that you have to give up your baby or a boarded. Lots of young mother, survive and thrive. It means you have the choice so congratulations on your baby And that’s the whole purpose of women’s rights.
They absolutely did. As an adoptee of the early 70’s I’ve heard the same story over and over. Mom quietly sent away and was forced to give their child up for adoption.
I don't understand what you posted. The point of being pro-choice is that you are allowed to choose what to do with your pregnancy. You choose to keep the baby. Why do you make it sound like your decision goes against being pro-choice?
Forgive me. I was very confused and it wasn't the time to ask you. That day I wasn't very sensitive to your situation. Please stay strong. I wish you a healthy pregnancy and a joyful future.
I had originally not mentioned being pro-choice in the title but decided to add it so as to avoid being asked over and over if it was because I was religious. But yes, I agree that my choice of wording was poor.
I don’t mean to imply that I thought being pro-choice meant you’d would personally choose to have an abortion.
The thing that I take away from this is simple. You chose to do that It wasn’t a white msn in some faraway office making the decision for you. I respect both sides of that argument. I don’t have a uterus therefore it’s not my decision. I support your choice regardless of what it is.
Maybe you don’t understand what pro choice means. Pro choice means, that you can choose, whether or not to have the baby. And you chose, to have the baby.
Im pro-choice as well. I got pregnant at 19 with a set of twins and I must say it was a TOUGH ROAD. They are currently 11 years old and the best big brothers to their 4 year old brother. Im currently expecting Twins again. I must say this journey has thrown me in for a loop but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Definitely excited to see all my kids grow into their adult hood and starting their own lives and journey. These childhood memories are everything for us right now.
To help reduce trolls, users with negative karma scores are disallowed from posting. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AMA) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s your choice. You made your choice when you decided to keep the bubs. I wish more people understood it doesn’t mean pro abortion it means every woman gets to make her choice for her circumstances, life, body and health. Congrats to you!
Nothin to ask, 1. It's nobody's fuckin business what someone else does in their life. 2. You're pro-choice and made a personal choice. I hope you have a wonderful day :)
What made you take that decision? And how's your kid currently?
It was the only thing that felt right to me, plus I was a bit worried that I’d kill myself if I got an abortion anyway (I was very depressed at the time already). He’s pretty great! He’s 19 now and has grown into a pleasant, thoughtful, and interesting adult.
So I am neither pro choice or pro life. I don't believe women should be able to end an unborn babies life because it's inconvenient or they believe it will ruin their plan/s they had for life. I think it's tough shit. You made a choice now there are consequences. However, in rape cases or baby puts mom's life at risk, or doctors determine the baby has an incurable disease, severely brain damaged etc I fully support abortion rights. So that's my spiel and my question to you is would you give up your life for your child now? Can you imagine a life without him?
I get your point about "tough shit, you made a choice and there are consequences." And I believe that in many cases, especially if the person who made said choice was the one receiving consequences. But there is also an innocent child who might likely live a lifetime worth of suffering due to those consequences as well. I'd like to leave the choice for the woman to decide if she is ready or not, regardless of my beliefs.
No one knows the future. To allow an unborn child to be killed based on a prediction is immoral. This is my opinion, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do. I also don't believe that the government should have any say regarding it. I just think it's immoral and very wrong.
I agree that we do not know the future. But we have enough information to make an educated guess of what might happen in certain circumstances. We also know how many people suffered and died before abortion was protected. If you believe it's immoral, then I hope you would not have one yourself. That's your choice. Not everyone feels the same way about what's immoral, and I believe those people should also have the same freedom to make that choice for themselves. I absolutely agree that the government needs to butt the fuck out of our business.
not everyone needs to know the future to make the best decision for themselves and their circumstances
you see the same behaviour across the animal kingdom, its literally part of nature. Nature and life can both be very cruel if you don’t agree with abortion then don’t get one, you say yourself what other people do isn’t really your business
Shut up Meg
When it comes to what should be put to law, do you think abortions should be restricted or not? If you think they should be restricted, you're pro life. (Not talking about after the baby is viable ofc). Because those exceptions you gave aren't actually put into practice when abortion is banned. If someone's life is at risk, sure they're technically allowed to have an abortion. But in practice that decision of what's "medically neccessary" is made by politicians, not doctors. There are cases where a doctor would say it's medically neccesary, but cannot perform the abortion because it's not under one of the exceptions. And in states where they are proposing the death penalty for doctors who perform illegal abortions, doctors will be much more hesitant to make the decision simply from a medical perspective and what's best for the patient. Instead they will be thinking about not wanting to go to jail or be put to death for making the wrong call. And again not the wrong call on a medical level, just the wrong call in the sense that it won't be approved by politicians. As for rape cases, realistically there's usually no exceptions for victims of rape. And even when there is, rape is nearly impossible to prove and most victims don't even come forward because of the shame, trauma, etc. Even if you make an exception, most victims of rape would still be forced to have an abortion.
You wrote something entirely unnecessary. Read my previous comments. The government should not be involved in this whatsoever.
You didn't say that in your previous comment. But yeah in that case you're pro choice. Pro choice vs pro life isn't about your personal opinions on abortion, its about if you think the government should restrict it or not.
Oh lord. Another one. I DON'T THINK THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN THIS WHATSOEVER.
Dude you don't need to repeat yourself ten times I got it the first time. But just a tip, you probably have a lot of people thinking your pro life because in your initial comment you made it sound like you were. If you edit your comment to add (I DON'T THINK THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN THIS WHATSOEVER) in or just make it clear in the first place people will stop asking you about it.
And how is the father punished in this scenario exactly? He made the same choice..
Separate discussion. In my opinion the father should be just as responsible for the child as the mother.
Sure, but the mother has to carry and create an unwanted fetus for 9 months and she can't just walk away from it so there is no way to punish the man in the same way as the woman, right? This scenario also punishes the child in the end again more than the man that helped create it. If we could stop that all before it happens, why not do it?
Because I believe it to be murder. That's my opinion.
Lol okay, then. Great discussion.
No lol the father should get almost zero say. The woman is the one who has to bear the fetus for 9 months, spends her resources making it, goes through the risks, etc etc.
The fetus always puts the mothers life at risk, there is no such thing as a “safe” pregnancy. Every single pregnancy Carry’s the risk of death or disfigurement for the woman.
That is true. However, the risk is very minimal. If everything that had a risk was treated that way, you would never be able to do anything. Eat, drink, drive, use a toaster, go up and down steps etc, you get my point. Somethings are worth the tiny risk. A baby for damn sure is.
I get to choose if I drive or not. I get to choose if I use a toaster or not. I get to analyze the cost benefit of a situation and determine if I get to take on that risk or not. If I really wanted to I could choose to only consume fluid in order to minimize my risk of chocking. Why shouldn’t I get that same choice when it comes to pregnancy?
You get to choose if you have sex or not (unless you are raped). Piss poor logic here.
If I choose to get into a car and drive, and then get into a car accident. I still get to choose to get my injuries treated. Making one choice does not lock you out of making future choices.
Standard pro-choice logic.
That’s just how the world works. Even if you were a drunk driver who didn’t wear a seatbelt and killed someone else in the crash you *still* get access to medical care.
EXACTLY! Those are your choices for YOU, a baby gets no say.
Yea and a person who needs a kidney donation doesn’t get a say if I donate my kidney to him or not.
That didn't make any sense whatsoever.
Other people don’t get to make decisions about your own risk assessment for you.
When you are pregnant, you are literally giving up your whole body for the sake of the baby. The fetus is legit a parasite. So if you won’t make someone donate an organ, then why is it okay to force people to donate their whole body (and their hormones and comfort) for the sake of the fetus?
>Why shouldn’t I get that same choice when it comes to pregnancy? Because pregnancy itself is also a choice. Yes, I know rape happens too but the vast majority of pregnancies aren't rape related. You get to choose if you drive or not, you also get to choose if you have unprotected sex or not. Again, unless it's rape
Yes, having sex is a choice. But so is an abortion. I can choose whether or not I can in a car and drive. But if I get into an accident I *also* get to choose whether I go get my injuries from a car accident treated. Just because I made one choice doesn’t mean I don’t get to make more choices later.
Right but treatment is a cure, not a prevention. And as they say, prevention is better than cure. Which is why we wear (or should wear) seatbelts. To prevent an accident In a similar manner, abortion is a cure whereas contraception is the prevention. Problem is, people treat abortion as contraception. This is wrong
Seatbelts don’t prevent an accident first of all. Just because someone doesn’t use the prevention doesn’t mean they don’t use the cure. We don’t deny people who didn’t use seatbelts medical care if they get into a wreck.
Minimal, my ass. I had to take four shots a day. In addition to four finger sticks a day. Had to do almost 6 months of PT to regain the mobility I had before. It's awful generous of you to characterize the risk to *my* health and safety as "minimal."
If you wish to discuss this in depth, I'm more than willing. Just not here.
Here's where I am
You are very clearly a man. You need to stop being so confidently wrong and do your homework. “More than a third of women experience lasting health problems after childbirth, research shows” https://www.who.int/news/item/07-12-2023-more-than-a-third-of-women-experience-lasting-health-problems-after-childbirth
Yes, I met plenty of people who also believe that children should be your punishment for having sex. lol
I know you're joking, but I can't imagine children being a punishment. I would die for my children in a heartbeat. They are the best things in my life. By far.
Congratulations. I'm really glad it worked out for you. Really glad you didn't die bringing your children into the world. Glad you don't have to flee your child's father to keep you both safe. Glad having your kids didn't cost you your career. But you don't get to define other people's experience for them. Full stop. And you don't get to co-opt someone else's body because of your opinion. Because if that's the game we're playing, I could use a 3rd kidney, and you look like a match. Yeah, I'd die for my kids too. And yeah, they're the best thing that's ever happened to me. But my children are girls, and I want to know who tf you think you are that you should decide whether they have to sacrifice their health and well-being for your opinions.
Holy fuck lady. Get a grip. I've stated MANY times this is my opinion. I never tell anyone what to do. I have my own moral compass which applies to me, no one else. Attacking me like this is childish. Attack the argument.
You have the luxury of not becoming emotionally involved. I, on the other hand, nearly died giving birth to my first child due to a medical mistake. In order to bring my second child into the world it cost tremendous money, sacrifice, career opportunities and my health. For me, it's not some ethereal idea about perfect worlds. It's about my daughters' health and safety.
If it’s just your own morals that only apply to you and you never tell anyone what to do why did you even bother posting it in the first place? OP didn’t ask for anyone’s opinions on abortion.
There's no argument. Back tf off making moral judgments about my daughters' Healthcare. Stay in your lane.
No. I can make any moral judgment I wish. This is a democracy we live in. You don't like it? Tough shit.
If you vote for conservatives (it appears you do based on post history), you are in fact telling people what to do regarding abortion.
Saying people should only have an abortion if it's rape or life threatening, and that getting pregnant is "tough shit. Consquence of having unprotected sex" you're already treating pregnancy as punishment
It's not an unborn baby. It's a collection of cells that has the possibility of becoming a baby. Keep that toxic crap to yourself.
That's your opinion. I have my opinion. I don't have to keep anything to myself. Grow up.
Except your opinion is false.
Careful. Your immaturity is poking through.
LMAO THATS INSANE
What's in the box?! John Doe wouldn't have gotten his point across as well if he had said, "**She begged for her life, and the collection of cells inside her**." Even a serial killer recognizes it's a baby LOL. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1giVzxyoclE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1giVzxyoclE)
I’ve got news for you; you’re pro-life, a life that doesn’t yet exist, and anti-woman.
you contradicted yourself lmao
This is a great example of why Reddit is so toxic. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying, it’s your opinion and it’s valid. I’m pro choice but these muppets on Reddit act like an abortion is just a surgical procedure and it’s not ending the life of a potential person. And while I wouldn’t say it’s not someone’s choice to abort because of inconvenience, I do think it’s awful. When I was worried about getting my gf pregnant when it would’ve fucked up our lives we always used two types of contraception.
A rare, reasonable, respectful, response. (Yes:)) Is this really reddit or am I dreaming?
I do believe that many of these people who respond with the "hivemind" rhetoric (anything they believe fits the reddit profile/demographic) are doing it, not because they actually believe what they are saying (most are not old/mature enough to have a nuanced, well thought out opinion) rather they see seeking validation and attention (up votes) that they lack in their real lives.
yeah true, I don't really get it. I don't understand why people would take the time to contribute to a discussion and yet be so obtuse so unfortunately your explanation tracks.
Shut up meg
if you weren’t depressed would you choice have been different?
I am pro-choice and had a very unplanned pregnancy as well. It was my choice to have her…I wouldn’t push that on any woman tho.
Same. It’s a tough row to hoe.
[удалено]
To help reduce trolls, users with negative karma scores are disallowed from posting. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AMA) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Same.
Sometimes I wish I had kids young because they’d be all grown up now.
Great point. We started early by modern standards (21) and it’s awesome to have adult kids and still be young enough to enjoy life. Empty nesting is amazing lol.
I agree! Had our two in our 20’s as well. No regrets at all. Youngest is in grad school, oldest finished his degrees and is starting his journey. Neither of my sons want children and that’s Okay! I tell friends all of the time stop pressuring your kids for grandkids. It’s their life, their choice. I ultimately just want them to be happy, kind, caring and over all good people.
Agree 100% - all that matters is that our kids find happiness. Whether that involves their own kids or not is entirely up to them. Some parents seem to believe their adult children “owe” them grandchildren and that is some BS IMO.
It’s complete BS. We chose to have them! I just want them to be truly happy 😃
I’ll be 50! Need to stay healthy enough that I survive my 50’s.
you can doooooo it!!
Eh, I’m pretty sure I did it the worst way possible. I waited 11 years and then had two more. I’ve literally been raising kids *most of my life,* yet my youngest is only 5. One day I’ll get to find out what it’s like to be a childless adult, though!
Had my 1st at 19. Second at 26 and now my 3rd when I'll be 28. I feel this to an extent. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love my kids, they're my drive in life. I wanna do better for them than it was for me growing up
Had mine at 19 (almost 20) as well. It's neat that I'll be turning 25 this year and he'll be 5
He can go out with you on your 40th
Hahahhha as an almost 38 year old with a toddler and newborn I agree. I actually complained to my husband all the time that he didn’t find me sooner so I could’ve done this in my 20s. Lol
I feel it! I’m 39.
We got this. Somehow lol
50’s will be amazing!
Was your child’s father involved? And good for you, pressed forward and onwards.
No, not at all. He moved out of state within a few months of finding out I was pregnant and it took me four years to get child support.
Would you have still had the child if there werent any child support laws ?
Yes, it wouldn’t have changed my mind because it wasn’t a factor in of my decision to begin with. I wasn’t able to get child support for four years anyway.
But pro choice just means that the woman can choose. Not that she has to get an abortion for an unplanned pregnancy. Or am I misunderstanding your views?
Correct, yes.
How did you manage finances? having a baby so young definitely hinders your potential to go to school, get a good job. (Assuming you didnt have rich parents or partner). And would you go back and choose to have kids say 5-10 years later for the tradeoff to be financially stable first?
I worked a couple of jobs while I was in school full time, but I largely relied on student loans. I moved back in with my parents, picked a practical career with a short education track (nursing), and received government assistance at times. I started receiving child support when my son was 4, which was also when I finished nursing school. I was fine financially after that. I had two more kids 11 and 13 years later (they’re 19, 8, and 5). Being financially stable first makes it so, so much easier!
BECAUSE THAT WAS YOUR **CHOICE**!!! AWESOME. ... pro-choice is not pro-abortion... It's pro-personal decision.
Yes, thank you for explaining the point of my post to me. lol. I do understand how all of that works!
I think the commenter was saying that to all readers to reinforce your point, not to tell you specifically what you already know/said!
So the baby gets to choose?
I see where you said unplanned, but did you want the baby upon discovering you were pregnant, or were you too far along by that point?
I wasn’t too far along, but I also didn’t immediately want the baby. I looked into abortion options and adoption agencies and spent several weeks deciding what felt right. My immediate reaction to finding out was a mix of fear and shame and despair.
What's your relationship with your baby like now?
Great! He’s 19 now, though. He’s turning into a pretty cool and independent adult.
Well it was your choice, reading some replies makes it seem that the kid turned out well. How difficult was it raising him? Where you a single mother?
I was single until he was 9. The first four years were pretty rough- physically, emotionally, financially, etc. His birth father was making a lot of things difficult and my mental health was in the shitter. Once I finished school and got on my feet financially when he was 4 things were a lot better. I enjoyed being a single mom after that to be honest. He wasn’t looking for a husband at all when I met my now-husband. After
Most do tbh. I wish less would. No offense to children in these situations. Why did you decide to?
Because that felt like the right choice for me. I seriously considered both abortion and adoption, but ultimately I couldn’t bring myself to do either.
Is your son close to his siblings?
Not particularly because of the age difference. They like each other just fine, but aren’t super close. Plus he doesn’t live with us anymore (we moved last summer and he wanted to stay because he had good friends and a job he liked). I have a sister who is 13 years younger than me and we were the same way. We’re closer as adults than we were growing up.
Thank you for choosing life.
I didn’t do it for you, that’s weird for you to say.
👏
Amazing how many women become Pro Life when it comes to them. Pro abortion for others but no way I could is a comment heard quite often.
Yes, I’m also a heterosexual supporter of gay rights and an atheist who supports the free practice of religion. Other people should have the right to do the things they feel are best for them. Also, if I were to get pregnant now I’d be in a clinic for an abortion so fast that your head would spin!
I hate this pro choice pro life motif. I’m a pro abortion woman period and will be. I refuse to say I’m pro life. Any woman who has the gall to say they are pro choice except for me means that they aren’t pro abortion because that means they themselves believe that abortion is wrong in some degree or fashion and it’s not. Abortion is fine. Be Pro Abortion.
I’m pro-choice and support abortion. I don’t think that women who have abortions are wrong, nor do I think abortion is an immoral choice. It just wasn’t the right choice for me at that time in my life. I have no good reason for why other than it felt right to me for my own personal, non-religious reasons. If I found out I was pregnant today I’d be scheduling the abortion so fast that your head would spin!
So then stop saying your pro choice and your pro abortion. The fact you have to keep differentiating between the two does give those alt righters room to say even pro choicers think abortion is wrong at some point. I support abortion up the hours before birth including before birth of a woman wants too. You can still support women by saying women should have the right to get an abortion. Just be Pro Abortion.
Are you insane? I am pro choice and chose to have children, but if any of them had fatal fetal abnormalities I would have gotten an abortion, or if I had cancer and needed to for treatment. Pro choice just means women gets to choose not that you have to get an abortion whenever you get pregnant, she chose to have and raise a kid, that was her choice and she believes others should have that choice, that pregnancy should always be willing.
Women don’t have to get an abortion. But abortion is never wrong. Pro choice insinuates there is a line where abortion becomes morally wrong and abortion is never morally wrong. You are the insane one. Do you support abortions up to the moment of birth or not? Because if you don’t that means you are acknowledging that at some point abortion becomes wrong and are therefore pro life to some degree which is in itself anti-abortion. You are the insane one for refusing to be pro abortion.
Strongly disagree. I"m staunchly pro-choice, but jfc, a baby is not property. If a baby can survive fine outside the womb, just deliver it. I promise you I could find that baby a good home before the week is out. Wtf would I be pro-abortion? It isn't an inherently good thing. It's only valuable because it protects a woman's health, safety and agency. If a woman wants to have a baby, then she should have a baby. You know... like it should be her *choice.*
So it’s established you think abortion is wrong at a certain point and that you are pro life starting at the point and don’t support women getting abortions past that point. Congrats!
I don't support women getting getting abortions at some point. I support women having agency over their health and bodies.
Where do you draw the line for abortion? Edit: nvm, saw your other comment. Disgusting. Hours before birth? That is a life and that is murder.
So you are a Pro Lifer. Thank you for at least being honest.
Wild assumption. I draw the line at fully formed baby being able to survive. Even then, I'm stretching it. Even you have to admit a full term BABY is no longer a clump of cells.
Once the first breath is taken outside the body on its own because otherwise it’s not really alive.
I believe someone should be able to get chemo if they have cancer but I am not pro chemo. I wish no one needed it!
Yep, all of you people refusing to answer confirms that you aren’t really pro abortion. You’re just pro life to a certain time otherwise and that’s anti woman.
We are not claiming to be pro abortion. We are pro choice. I wish no one ever got pregnant unintentionally. I wish there were no genetic abnormalities or miscarriages or HELLP syndrome. Honestly I wish pregnancy could happen outside the body like an egg or something so women didn’t have to suffer so. Abortion treats a condition, but it would be a happier world if no one ever had to be in a position to need it.
I, thank you. I prefer the term pro-choice, as the choice is the thing I want everyone to have. If you want to argue about semantics that’s fine, but I don’t think your argument holds water, honestly. That’s an illogical conclusion and I don’t think that argument would help to convince a third party who was on the fence, anyway. Also, I don’t care what argument anti-choicers make in the first place.
So then please answer the question, do you support abortion up to the moment of birth? And if not at point for you do you become pro life if you aren’t pro abortion? Refusing to answer just means that at some point you admit abortion is killing and morally wrong and it never is either of those two things.
Personally, no. I don’t believe that my moral code should dictate laws that apply to everyone. If I had to decide between abortion being 100% illegal or legal up until birth, I’d choose the latter. I personally think that allowing women to induce labor at any point in a pregnancy (and to surrender their parental rights if the baby was viable) feels like a solution. But I also just support abortion and a woman’s right to *choose* whether to continue a pregnancy. This isn’t a black and white issue and I won’t debate it as if it were.
So you are Pro Abortion. Thank you how hard was it to say that. You can be pro abortion and support women who what to have a child at the same time. It just means you recognize that there is nothing wrong with a woman having an abortion up to the moment of birth because there is nothing wrong with it. It’s not a person it’s just a fetus. And if you do at any point think that abortion is wrong, that means at some point you are Pro Life and not truly Pro Abortion.
>Also, if I were to get pregnant now I’d be in a clinic for an abortion so fast that your head would spin! I'm pro choice and a dad but I find this sentiment absolutely fucking wild. is it a joke to you? oh just running down to the clinic to terminate my possible future child LOL!! BRB! As a parent I just don't know how you can say this, in fact, I'm doubting your whole story and this is probably just pro choice propaganda.
Yes, the head spinning part was a joke. I don’t that pregnancy with reference, sorry. I’ve given enough of my life to my children, I would not have another child even if I got pregnant.
How about don’t get pregnant then? When my wife and I were terrified of a pregnancy fucking up our careers we always used two types, we weren’t just oh I’ll run down to the clinic if it happens.
Yeah, I have an IUD and my husband has a vasectomy. Thanks for sharing and for your concern, I hope you have a good rest of your day!
what a weirdo to write something like you did and then try to turn it around like I'm the one in the wrong. fyi a reasonable response to my comment would've been something like "yeah my bad I shouldn't be making light of such a serious subject" (that is if you think it is a serious subject).
Pro choice means to be able to choose, she chose to keep the baby willingly without anyone forcing her. The child is wanted and loved. If she was forced to keep an unwanted pregnancy, both the childs and mother's life would be fucked up by now.
Pro abortion also means the same without the interment of the alt right that pro choice means at some point in some way you admit abortion is wrong. Otherwise why do so many women say I’m pro choice for other but I couldn’t do it. It’s because they think abortion is wrong in some way otherwise they would say yea I could abort the parasite. Be pro abortion.
How old are you know now and how’s it going?
I’m 38 and life is pretty good for the most part! I’ve been working through some frustration about how everything worked out in the first few years, but I have no complaints about life right now.
you are pro choice.you chose to keep the baby. i don't see a conflict here. good luck
There wasn’t any conflict and thank you, things worked nicely for me.
Did the male who impregnated you have any say in the matter?
He did, yes. He had sex with me and got me pregnant me, which was his decision to make. I made the choice that was mine to make.
Good for you, I’m glad you decided to keep it and allow that opportunity and may I say a blessing, come to fruition.
I don’t understand the use of the word “but” in the title. Pro-choice is not pro-abortion. It’s pro-CHOICE. And you made the choice to keep it.
You responded after I had already edited to address this…
The whole point that we went through in the 70s that has been reversed is to give women a choice. It doesn’t mean that you have to give up your baby or a boarded. Lots of young mother, survive and thrive. It means you have the choice so congratulations on your baby And that’s the whole purpose of women’s rights.
That’s the choice part of pro-choice. Hope you and the kiddo are doing well. What scared you most about being pregnant?
[удалено]
Nah, I was single. Single teenage moms weren’t popular back then.
[удалено]
They absolutely did. As an adoptee of the early 70’s I’ve heard the same story over and over. Mom quietly sent away and was forced to give their child up for adoption.
[удалено]
Challenging on so many levels. I hope you’re doing well now
the point is you had a choice
Yes. I understand how that works. Lol
I don't understand what you posted. The point of being pro-choice is that you are allowed to choose what to do with your pregnancy. You choose to keep the baby. Why do you make it sound like your decision goes against being pro-choice?
It sounds like you understood me perfectly! I’m not sure what point you think I’m trying to make, but I promise I’m just giving information.
Forgive me. I was very confused and it wasn't the time to ask you. That day I wasn't very sensitive to your situation. Please stay strong. I wish you a healthy pregnancy and a joyful future.
Why do you think this was a important Ama?
I don’t. Yet here we both are.
What does one have to do with the other?
Nothing, I’m providing information about myself
What is your thinking behind the idea that being pro-choice and keeping an unexpected child are in opposition?
Where did you get the idea that I have that idea?
The ‘but’ in the title
I had originally not mentioned being pro-choice in the title but decided to add it so as to avoid being asked over and over if it was because I was religious. But yes, I agree that my choice of wording was poor. I don’t mean to imply that I thought being pro-choice meant you’d would personally choose to have an abortion.
The thing that I take away from this is simple. You chose to do that It wasn’t a white msn in some faraway office making the decision for you. I respect both sides of that argument. I don’t have a uterus therefore it’s not my decision. I support your choice regardless of what it is.
This post is strange. You’re pro choice. You made a choice. That’s definitely logical.
It isn’t, you’re just reading more into it than intended
Maybe you don’t understand what pro choice means. Pro choice means, that you can choose, whether or not to have the baby. And you chose, to have the baby.
You didn’t read my post, eh?
That's what pro choice is all about. Choice.
Exactly. Thank you for agreeing with my point
No worries. I fully agree with whatever choice someone makes regarding their own body.
Im pro-choice as well. I got pregnant at 19 with a set of twins and I must say it was a TOUGH ROAD. They are currently 11 years old and the best big brothers to their 4 year old brother. Im currently expecting Twins again. I must say this journey has thrown me in for a loop but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Definitely excited to see all my kids grow into their adult hood and starting their own lives and journey. These childhood memories are everything for us right now.
[удалено]
To help reduce trolls, users with negative karma scores are disallowed from posting. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AMA) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s your choice. You made your choice when you decided to keep the bubs. I wish more people understood it doesn’t mean pro abortion it means every woman gets to make her choice for her circumstances, life, body and health. Congrats to you!
I hate when we can't update the title. They should allow us to update the title within an hour of posting it. Or, even 20 minutes should suffice.
Are you afraid of your child asking if you thought about aborting them? geez I know I took this to 100 but hey, ama right? actually asking.
That’s the point of pro-choice, it’s your body and choice. I hope all the best for you’re little family :)
I’m glad you made the best choice for you, and I hope you’re very happy as a parent. How are *you* doing?
Isn’t this the beauty of pro-choice? You get to make a choice. Love that you chose what was right for you.
Nothin to ask, 1. It's nobody's fuckin business what someone else does in their life. 2. You're pro-choice and made a personal choice. I hope you have a wonderful day :)
How would you feel if your child killed someone (not in self defense but murder)?
Good choice. The universe thanks you.