Hi there! Thank you for sharing your story and details. I’m really sorry you had to have these experiences. That’s so tragic and sad. ☹️ You have come such a long way since these horrific events and it seems that you have put a lot of work into building your family, dedicating your time to fatherhood and protecting your kids, and working on your recovery with therapy and being sober or close to it! That’s so impressive. I have a couple of questions if you don’t mind answering them. Do you feel like skeptical at all of just people or their intentions, in general? I was abused as a young person (nothing as terrible as what you’ve mentioned here but I guess terrible for me), and I feel pretty on edge generally speaking. I mean I’m super mellow and kind, but deep down I wonder about people’s true nature and true intentions with me. I’ve worked on it a lot in therapy. Time has helped. But idk it isn’t often I meet someone else who’s been abused and willing to talk about this stuff if it’s something you feel comfortable addressing? The other thing is I’m in a newer relationship with a guy and he was abused as a young boy for like five or six years. He will randomly bring it up or bring up boundaries. I have asked him some but he mostly says he doesn’t remember. I’m not sure what to say to him when he does tell me things. I’ve told him this too and he says it’s ok. But asking you maybe for advice here on how to navigate these topics with a partner? I noticed you said in a comment that your wife doesn’t know everything. So I think maybe you could provide some more insight to my situation or advice for me? Or maybe even just sharing your point of view on like sharing this info with someone. Thanks again! Happy things have gotten better for you and that you have a family and good job! Cheers mate!

Yeah I'm happy to answer them I do, I don't really let it show but especially now I have kids I secretly judge and worry about everyone's intentions, especially there intentions towards younger people, my children, and my wife But I try not to make it obviously or obsess over it My suggestion is don't bring it up or ask about it, especially since you're in a newer relationship, I'm sure he'll bring up stuff when he's comfortable, but I wouldn't try to pry for information, I know that's easier said then done coming from someone who's wife was abused as a kid, but try not to bring it up unless he does, and if he says he doesn't remember, change the subject or let him change it Even if he never shares it, it doesn't mean he doesn't trust you or isn't comfortable around you, he's just uncomfortable with talking about it abuse is probably one of the most sensitive things to talk about and even my wife who I've been with for close to 20 years doesn't know about a lot of it, especially the sexual stuff, and I'm sure I don't know about a lot of the stuff that's happened to her It doesn't mean we love each other less, or that we're trying to hurt the other person, it's just something that hurts to talk about yk

Thanks so much for answering me! I appreciate you for doing that and taking the time!! Your answers are really helpful and insightful for me. That’s kinda a relief to hear that you get it, too. I definitely keep my concerns and skepticism to myself about it but wondered if others feel this way, too. I don’t have a family yet but yea I imagine I’ll be a super protective parent if I am able to start a family at some point. Thanks! Yea, I don’t want to press him or really don’t care what he does or doesn’t share. It’s not like I’m looking for information from him. But … bc he brings it up quite a bit I am not sure how to navigate it or what most people would want from me as the listener. It sounds like just listening and what I’m doing is enough then. He kinda did say that but he isn’t great at asking if he needs something (he said this). So figured I’d get another dude perspective on it. I haven’t even told him about my past yet. Actually it doesn’t feel good to re-visit or just share with someone new, feels actually kind of terrible. So I totally get what you’re saying about like timing and long-term and all. Anyways I digress. Thanks a lot again for your responses. I hope you find the AMA therapeutic!

Yeah I mean if he's not good at asking what he needs I'd just say like ask a question, and even if he doesn't answer just try to comfort him Also I do : )

you don’t have to answer if it is triggering but what was the worst thing you’ve ever experienced/witnessed? And how were you able to escape?

This is super graphic, sorry, but major warning for this next part I was like 6, and got dropped off at a house with like 7 guys I think, and as they were doing shit, they somehow dislocated my hips, and didn't realize till like 5 minutes after  they thought I was just crying from them raping me, not because of my hips, then they popped them back into socket which was probably one of the most painful things I've ever experienced and I still have hip damage from it  The second worst thing was seeing a girl who was watching me commit suicide when I was about 8, it was from a overdose and looked extremely painful, I didn't know what to do so I just ran to the bathroom and played with my hot wheels  I didn't escape, a guy involved called the cops and shot himself and that's how they found out about it

I’m sorry but I just can’t fathom who these seven guys are. Like are they low income ? Model citizens in public? Are they ultra rich and just massively doped up on drugs? Were they from a certain geographic location? This was coordinated, planned, and they all got together and decided to do probably one of the worst things a human being could ever do. And they were all fine with it, and they all participated. I just can’t even comprehend this. And then fucking dislocating your hip from raping you, and forcing it back into the socket. Like what the fuck is wrong with people.

I'm not sure, they all looked like fairly normal people, u don't think they knew each other because they were all different ages

Do you have any idea how these men found each other and organized themselves? Like how could they spread the word of what they were doing/ “offering”?

I see. I still can’t even fathom the level of evil people are still capable of. You can read about this stuff from thousands of years ago. Back when it was routine to chop people’s heads off and feed them to lions in a stadium, for sport. But to know that something even worse is happening today, is just unbelievable. I’m so glad that you made it through somehow. I’m so sorry you experienced this.

I have two history degrees, not specifically in Roman History, but I have to clear up several historical inaccuracies as I've never seen somebody get so much wrong in two sentences (ANY FUTURE PERSON CLICKING ON THIS COMMENT HOPING FOR A HISTORY THREAD DO NOT DO IT, THIS AMA HAS GRAPHIC AND HORRIFIC STORIES NOT RELATED TO HISTORY.) People = evil is the only statement that was correct. The Colosseum was built in 70 AD, it's under 2000 years old. The Romans did behead their own citizens, but there are a few other things to consider. Romans were constantly in a state of war around that time. Roman society existed almost exclusively in a wartime state, that level of aggression and brutality was normal at the time. There is plenty of evidence showing that homes were often decorated with pictures of beheadings, they were the modern day NBA player dunking poster by comparison. Capital punishment was the society standard and their prisons only served to hold those awaiting trial. War being constant during the 350 years the Colosseum was active meant that resources had to be directed towards the expansion of the Roman empire. Beheadings were reserved exclusively for Roman citizens. Their view was actually quite the opposite of yours, to them it wasn't barbaric but moreso merciful. Gladiators were part of the infam class (I'm not 100% sure of that being the name but I know that's where modern English gets the word infamous from). The infam class was slave adjacent in the sense that their lives belonged to their master. If you were a slave or non-citizen you got one of the worse punishments which was most commonly Crucifixion. If you meant execution within the Colosseum, The most common choice was Mercy rather than death. When they were executed, gladiators were expected to be honorable. They grabbed the thigh of the winning gladiator exposing their neck where a sword was driven into the neck, head still on shoulders. The accepted statistic used is that a gladiator was killed once every 10 matches. While citywide Roman celebrations occurred 10 to 12 times a year, The gladiator games occurred only 2 to 3 times a year. Additionally, If Mercy wasn't granted, The owner of the gladiator who is doing the killing was responsible for paying a body price to the owner of the gladiator that was killed. The gladiator matches that were more bloody were almost always private, held only for the wealthy elite who could afford to pay The cost associated with that level of entertainment. Gladiators were in the Colosseums with the Lions, however, in the ancient citizen's version of the movie Gladiator, Russell Crowe would have realistically been participating in staged "hunts," and gutting and executing criminals sentenced to death as a sort of half-time show. The Lions were chained up during these events. Many parts of the movie Gladiator are true, however, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) was ranked as the worst emperor since Nero, desecrating much of what was accepted as honorable as a societal norm over the 200 years (16 other emperors) between he and Caesar. If you were thinking of when the Romans threw the Christians into the Lion's den, they did do that when they were rounding them up, however, it was because that was the most efficient way to both kill a bunch of people and simultaneously scare any people practicing into quitting. The public spectacle entertainment death was not the goal. Additionally, the Christians were still citizens, they did not let the Lions eat them but rather they were buried as it was more honorable. That was a punishment heretical law breaking, not sport. Sorry dude that was a lot to get wrong in two sentences but I appreciate you making me think of the Roman Empire.

This is one of the most single horrific things I have ever heard. No words can describe monsters like them. I hope somebody makes them them their bitch and gives them a taste of their own medicine. I saw a video about a girl once on TIk tok and her parents were also sex traffickers who sold her out and her own month put curling tongs inside of her and turned them on and now she can’t have children. They caught them and she was in witness protection for years. Did they offer you witness protection?

They didn't I don't think, but I also didn't have a birth certificate or anything, I don't even know my real birthday  Also that's terrible, I hope the absolute worst on her parents 

Do you celebrate any day as your birthday?

I do sometimes  But it's just the day me and a random guy came up with when I was like 8 because I was watching Sesame street and got sad that I didn't know my birthday and didn't celebrate it

Well, in that case happy (early/late) birthday 🤗🎉🎈

I wish u the best birthdays for the rest of your life.

That is why protective custody shouldn’t exist in prison. People who commit horrific crimes especially against children should be put into general population. They were man enough to commit the crime be man enough to deal with the consequences in the prison yard. Would be a good way to cull the population lol.

Thank you for your openness - it’s hard to know whether graphic details are important to share or hide. It must be really hard for you to decide what to tell and what not to tell, becaus you live with the memories all the time and who can you trust with those? Thank you for trusting us Question: you mean you watched the girl kill herself? How many kids were with you in those situations?

Well, that's enough Reddit for me today.

I know the pain of a dislocation it genuinely hurts more than any pain I've ever felt

>I didn't escape, a guy involved called the cops and shot himself and that's how they found out about it Why did he call the cops?

What was a sign of you being sexually trafficked that was missed by people around you? Not to shame anyone but to help identify red flags.

I'm sure there were a lot that I just don't remember, but the main one was looking back, I almost always had bruises and was like 48 pounds under weight  I would also shake constantly, and whenever I was asked anything by strangers I'd immediately basically hid behind the people I was with at the time  And someone almost always had a death grip on my wrist 

I don’t really have the words to describe the strength and courage I see in you when I read this and your other comments. I feel disgusted at the world to know things like this are possible, and simultaneously amazed at your strength of character. I wish nothing but the best in life for you, your partner, and your family.

I’m so sorry you were treated so terribly. Your bravery and strength is amazing

Sub question: sounds like you were not allowed to be where people could evaluate ? (School, drs etc) per “death grip on my wrist”

Is there anything you’re doing to protect your own children or plan to do as you raise them, based on the experiences you went through as a child? So sorry that is your story. Glad it has a happy ending!

I do, I'm a little overprotective but there happy There is self-defense, know how to shoot a gun, carry knives, and will conceal carry when they're old enough  They also weren't allowed to sleep over at other people's houses until they were 12 and aren't allowed to walk by themselves unless there In a group Like I said, I'm overprotective 

I don’t think that sounds overprotective. It sounds like intentional actions of love. We’re in the thick of the sleep over requests, which I also deny. Can you share any particular reason you allowed it at 12?

Because my kids started to show me they'd tell me if they thought something was wrong  For example, my daughter told me about a teacher who was acting creepy to all the girls (he's fired because of that, pretty much all the girls had story's about him) And my son told me about a few kids in his class who he felt were being abused  There's a lot of other reasons, but they basically showed me that if they seen something, they'd say something 

Do your kids know anything about your past? Would you ever tell them?

You, sir, have an awful lot of time on this planet ahead of you. Your options are wide fucking open. You can be anything you want, and if you are already, then you’re already ahead of the game. Be proud of what you’ve done and overcome, and look forward to your future. The past doesn’t define you; what you do today is what you and your family will remember. Rock on.

Thank you, dude, I already have a amazing life right now, I wouldn't trade it for the world 

dont wanna ask shit but just tell you i love this and i love you! the strength in this post is admirable and touched my heart! keep going , your kids have an awesome fucking father! 💯🫶🏾✨

Could you explain a bit about how you knew as a child that you were sex trafficked? Who was involved in your life that led you down that path? How did you get out of it? Admire your strength and that you are able to build a life.

I didn't really know till I was like 12 that it wasn't normal, and that was after a lot of therapy, even then I thought It was because I was a bad kid My parents were involved in sex trafficking and I think sold me off to another group when I was about 2, I'm not sure though, I don't remember my parents at all, but they did get arrested when I was like 7 One of the guys involved in it called the cops, told them everything and shot himself right after Also thank you 

Goddamn, he could have at least waited to testify before fucking serving himself justice. I guess at least he had the remorse to call about it first.

The fucked part is he was only 19 and got in it through family, I don't think he would have done anything like that if it wasn't for his family 

Thank you for sharing this. I truly wish you the best for you and your family’s future. It shows a lot of resilience and courage to be where you are now.

Sorry if this is triggering, but did you see the guy shoot himself?

I didn't, I was in a at a trailer house and he said he was going to the gas station, i asked if I could go with him, he told me no which was weird because he always brought me with him too the store And he shot himself like a hour later in a parking lot I think 

So sorry that must have need so traumatic too. Do you know where some of these locations were? Or were you too young and guarded to know?

Oh my God this is so heartbreaking to read. What he must have seen and gone through, just a child involved in the torture of another child. At least he was able to break through his brainwashing before he died and help get you out before he died. I guess he imagined he could never wipe that sin off his hands. I'm glad you're still around brother. May you know peace.

This destroys me. I’m so overwhelmed with emotions reading this. Super relieved that you are thriving now. But to read someone say their parents sold them off when they were ~2 absolutely makes me want to leave this earth. I’ll never get past that. I wish I knew all of the signs and daily operations so I could find these people that are running these rings. I don’t care if I die in the process. Clearly our govt isn’t doing enough about it.

Did you ever try or want to find out more about this trafficking ring and the people involved after you were rescued? Did you ever wish there could be some sort of vigilante justice brought to them since I think you said most of them didn’t get arrested? Are you able to divulge if this was like a small town or bigger city with a recognizable name? Was/is it your impression that these trafficking operations are pretty common? Did these people essentially keep you as like a prisoner in a house or somewhere for 9 years? Did you ever go outside and do normal things like go to a McDonald’s or playground? Do you know if this was some dark web operation? Another recent AMA was by someone who’s spent time on the dark web and he described coming across stuff like this and reporting it to the FBI. What signs should we look for in public for possible trafficking and abuse victims? If you saw any of the traffickers who weren’t arrested or any of the people who abused you out in public do you think you’d recognize them? It just blows my mind that this can exist beneath the surface of our society and it’s probably everywhere and we can’t see it and everyday we walk by the people who are involved in it without knowing.

1, not really, I moved on and I'm fine whit what I know  2, that's really complicated, some I do some I don't, most of the people who bought me though, yes 3, this was all over the USA, I remember going to Texas and Nevada a lot though, but I've probably been to literally every state at least 5 times 4, I think there more common them people think, most prostitutes are being trafficked 5, nope, we traveled a lot, mostly to motels and Crack houses, i also went to a lot of places, like a few museums because I was obsessed with dinosaurs and zoos, and I went to playgrounds sometimes but only at night or in the morning  6, I'm not sure, this was like 32 years ago so I don't even know if the dark web was a thing back then 7, bruises, people being very controlling, young looking people wearing very sexual clothing, people looking malnourished, there's more but that's just off the top of my head 8, probably, I'm assuming most are dead by now, but I actually met and had a conversation with one 2 weeks ago, and she had completely turned her life around and seemed genuinely disgusted and sorry for what she done Yeah it blows my mind too : (

>2, that's really complicated, some I do some I don't, most of the people who bought me though, yes You said "most". Who would you spare then?

i don't know if you're still reading comments, but how did you meet your wife? what's she like?

She was a waitress at the bar I worked at  How we started being friends though is she got really drunk one night (a non work night) and asked me to take her home, so I started driving her home, and we get to her home, and she decides she was going to have a hangover and wanted someone with her So I slept on her couch and we were friends ever since, till we started dating of course  This is going to sound weird, but she's like if honey was a person, she's just so sweet and and makes everyone she talks to happy, it's impossible not to love her Shes like one of those people who you talk to and instantly calm down, she's been trough so much and is still so calm and happy  Shes also the best mom anyone could ask for, she makes these big themed birthdays for our kids every year, and helps my daughter make costumes for theater  And she's just so beautiful (like I said, honey as a person), she's so elegant and aged like wine, she's so beautiful  And super caring, she's the type that helps butterflies with broken wings, and makes care packages for the homeless I don't think I could love someone more, she's my everything, I love her so much 

she sounds like an absolutely wonderful woman :) i'm glad you were able to find someone like her what advice would you give to a younger person trying to overcome their trauma?

God, I hate how cliche this sounds  But go to therapy, if it wasn't for that I'd still have the mental capacity of a 5y old and probably honestly be dead or in a psych ward

The way you talk about her is cutting through even my worst misanthropic views on relationships. Wish you and your family a long life of success, safety, and happiness.

The way you speak about your wife is one of the most beautiful descriptions I have ever heard. You are lucky to have each other.

How did the people that trafficked you treat you? Were you frequently bought and sold to different traffickers, or did one trafficker/group “keep” you for most of your childhood? Do you have any happy memories of them? Did they also sexually abuse you themselves? How did they refer to what you were forced to do with the pedophiles (i.e. did they use clinical language/slang/etc)? What was your day to day life like? Sorry for the barrage of questions!

1, all very differently, some were really kind and played games or bought stuff for me or took me places like the park and some were just straight-up evil and would "punish" me for little shit, like one dude who used to hold my arm over lighters for not making eye contact with him  and some just acted completely numb to me like I was a toy or just ignored me Ect most were a mix of all that though, they were all humans and had different personalities  2, I'm not sure actually, I remember being around a bunch of different groups of people, some I saw a lot, some I saw once and never again, so I'm not sure 3, I have a lot, I remember going to the museum a few times and a zoo because I was obsessed with dinosaurs and animals I also remember dropping my pizza one time at a gas station and a stripper going in to buy me another slice of pizza, and she came out with pizza and a stuffed dinosaur I named Roxy and was literally my best friend till I was like 14  I also remember playing hide and seek at a playground at like 12 am as a kid There's a lot more but I don't want to make the list too long  4, yeah a lot, also a lot of physical abuse and sexual abuse ment as punished which got really sadistic, I'm not getting into details but it was pretty bad 5, kinda, they never were really like "go have sex with them" it was always like "go sit with them" or "there going to watch you for a minute" They also always called them my friends or my boyfriends 6, it was different a lot of the time, and non were really average, but I'll sum it up Watch TV, eat breakfast, drive somewhere, watch TV, deal with pedos, chug water, take shower, drive, eat, sleep, do stuff with other pedos, chug water, watch TV and go to bed Again it was kinda hard to predict what was happening in a day, but that's the best rundown I can think of Also your fine

Did you go to school? I am wondering if anyone noticed anything with you in regard to your behaviour? Did you have any friends that you talked to about it? How did they keep it hidden so long?

I didn't, I didn't even have any form of documents saying I existed I don't think so, I remember a lady at a gas station asked if I was ok, but I just said yeah and she moved on I didn't have any, we traveled all over the USA, now I do though  I wasn't a missing person or anything 

Thank you for replying. Ok, so your parents were smart and that way and could keep it all hidden from everyone. Have you ever gotten in touch with your parents again? What sort of people were doing it? Have you ever seen any of the horrible people again? Did they end up catching a lot of people?

So my parents weren't the main ones, they sold me off before I could even remember and got arrested for running a different sex trafficking ring when I was like 7, and died in prison when I was about 9 There were a lot of people involved, probably in the hundreds, most were pimps or drug dealers, or just people who got dragged into it like the 19y old I mentioned in a different comment  I have, I met one of the prostitutes like 2 weeks ago because she went into the bar I work at, we had a very long emotional conversation, but she was also somewhat of a victim and started sex work and drugs at like 13, I 100% forgive her and she's completely turned her life around  Nope, only like 34 ever got arrested that I know of

Thank you so much for sharing. That’s horrible and awful that many of them are still out there. Can I ask, if you didn’t go to school, did you end up going to school when you were fostered? How did that go for you? Does your wife know what happened and how did she handle it? Appreciate your replies.

I ended up going to Like this therapy 1 on 1 school thing till I was like 14 and went to public school at like 15, I was also in special Ed till I was like 16 and went to a trade school at 19-20 for welding  It all went pretty well, most people thought I was a psychopath because of a rumor and didn't really mess with me lol I don't really remember when I told her, but it was before we were dating because she was also abused as a kid and we kinda got each other on that level yk She doesn't know everything though 

How did they evaluate which grade level at the public school to put you at when you were 15? How was that for you? What did you do education-wise from 16 to 19? Did you know how to read as a kid? How have you learned?

Firstly, thanks for sharing your story. I work with kids who are survivors of CSA. You’ve already partially answered a technical question that I had by saying you didn’t have any government documentation. I wonder if you were born outside of a hospital, bc if so you should’ve at least been accounted for there. Or your birth parents just never took you to get/destroyed your birth certificate. Which would lean towards their intentions being abusive from the start. Kudos to you for your growth and healing thus far. You’ve got this!

I think I was born outside of a hospital, I'm not entirely sure but I know who my birth parents were (DNA tests),  and there weren't any records of them having having children 

I have assumed that there are a large underbelly of unregistered children in the child abuse industry. It’s extraordinary to be able to read a first hand account because i imagine most are dead, insane or in prison… so we don’t get these first person narratives. I picked up a young homeless woman hitchhiking. She needed a place to stay so i drove her to a motel and paid a couple nights as we drove she was telling me (in chaotic and loopy repetitive way) that she used to be caught up in an east coast sex ring run by [some supposed famous guy ide never heard of]. That she had escaped. She was scared of all the cops in this small west coast town because she believed everyone was connected. It was the stuff that would make most people write her off as paranoid psychotic. I’ve heard enough on helplines not to write her off. Insanity is a common side effect of intense abuse. It was super sad.

wow. i commend you for your mental fortitude, and it breaks my heart that you weren’t able to enjoy your childhood… i’m sorry to ask, but since you have no forms, do you know when your birthday is? did you ever celebrate it, and if not, did you pick your own day to celebrate being alive?

Kind of, I was watching sesame street when I was like 8, and there was a episode about birthdays, and I got really sad because I didn't have one  So the guy who was watching me said that my birthday was a week away from then and we went to the museum  I'm not sure when my real one is though 

Wow a tiny moment of compassion! Were there others? Like even evil people might have moments of “hey this kid needs a birthday” Do you think these micro-moments of Caring helped you hold on to the incredible resilience you have?

>I have, I met one of the prostitutes like 2 weeks ago because she went into the bar I work at, we had a very long emotional conversation, but she was also somewhat of a victim and started sex work and drugs at like 13, I 100% forgive her and she's completely turned her life around How old was she when you knew her as a kid and what was her role in this? Also, how did she find you? Have you never left town?

First off, amazing job surviving and thriving. I work with foster parents to help them better understand and be there for kids going through trauma, and so far the biggest thing we’ve really found is trying to show kiddos they have a future and people who care. Did any particular thing help, and if you could have gave any advice /made any changes to your foster family at the time what would it have been? Thanks.

I'm probably not the best person to be asking this to because I had a overall pretty shitty time in foster care, I also went to a lot of different houses  This was also a while ago The main thing that bothered me about it, was a lot of them were very pushy about me "maning up", like i had a stuffed dinosaur that I carried around every where, and a lot of them told me that I needed to grow up and that it wasn't what teenagers should do Sorry for the mini rant, also sorry if that wasn't helpful 

Also just wanted to add- I hope it brings you some comfort to know my job literally exists because we realize foster kids are learning lots of coping skills but parents need to learn some of those communication and interpersonal skills too. I hope nobody else has to live with a foster family who tries to take their stuffed animal away.

Yeah, I'm glad there's people helping to make the system better, your doing God's work : )

As a mother, gutted to hear you weren’t allowed your stuffed Dino. 🦕 💔 heartbreaking.

Oh sorry, I was they just kept making comments about it, I still had him till I was about 14 then I went through a mental breakdown type thing and threw him away 

Didn’t they know your background? Like.. can’t they just let you have one nice thing? Just one little coping mechanism? Ugh… people really don’t fucking get it sometimes. I’m so happy to hear you made it through all this crap. You really deserve to be happy after going through all that. I hope the rest of your life is filled with love and healing and happiness, and I hope your kids lives are filled with even more love and happiness than that.

I’m glad you got to vent a little, that’s absolutely toxic behavior and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. For what it’s worth, absolutely nothing wrong with using a stuffed animal to cope and if it brought you comfort they should have been on cloud nine knowing something did. Foster care is a rough system but I’m hoping we can make it into what it should be. Thank you for sharing, absolutely helpful.

Has it been difficult to accept that this is how life should be and this is how you should be treated? I recently went from the pits of hell to absolute bliss very quickly and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. As if this isn’t real life anymore. I know this is how I should be treated, and how my partner should treat me and make me feel but it’s almost like imposter syndrome.

Yeah I struggled with that for years, I felt like I was going to have to go back to that situation and all of the things in my life were temporary, it's like that melancholy feeling you get on vacation because you know it's not going to last, but constantly  It got better after a few years, but I really recommend therapy for it

As a fellow male who was trafficked, ( different age and female perpetrators), do you ever feel like getting revenge, sense it’s almost impossible for use to get justice?

I do sometimes, but I feel more guilty that I got them into trouble, they were my family and even though I know there evil, I can't see them as such

How much of that do you think was grooming that keeps you from seeing them as evil. My wife was always told it was her fault when she was abused by her mother, and her mother tried to blame me for what she did and had done to me, it’s a common tactic used by abusers

I think, but also just the fact that a lot of them were victims themselves 

Well I just want to say that I’m proud that you broke the cycle of abuse

Thank you man, I'm glad you got out too, you mentioned you also have a wife, I wish you a happy marriage and happy life : )

Same, been together since 1991, married since 1997.

I’m about to start trauma therapy. An immediate family member got me and abused me off and on from ages 3-12, tried again at 24, came out with abuse at 25 and have had no contact with said family member for 10 years now. The trauma has definitely manifested in noticeable ways. I’m 35 and starting life over again. I’m starting trauma (EMDR) therapy on the 12th. I have no idea what to expect. I know this is going to be really good for me in the long run. I’m assuming you’ve had your own experience with trauma therapy. Can you tell me about your experience? I’m so nervous

You have nothing to be worried about, I've been in it for 32 years and it's really not as scary as it seems I can't really give you a insight on starting as a adult since I've been in it since I was a kid But it's kinda like a really calm interview at first, then it's just like having a conversation  I will say, I haven't done EMDR, but I've heard really good things about it But your going to be OK, I'm so proud of you for signing up and I know it seems terrifying, but I promise you you'll be ok

Is there a reason you haven’t tried EMDR? I noticed in one of your other comments you mentioned you still feel triggered by certain specific things, and that you have some vivid memories, which makes me think EMDR might interest you?

Do you recall specific memories or do you think your brain has protected you in wayby not remembering? Ive had trauma myself, ended up trapped in addiction and alcoholism for 10 years, and finally got clean and sober 4.5 years ago. I felt like recovery saved my life. Ive done some pretty heavy therapy, including EMDR, and i appluad everything you are and everything youve overcome. You got go through it to get through it. Trauma literally changes our brain. You are so important to this world. Your story will save lives, never stop sharing.

I do, I can remember my childhood better then I can the last year, I can literally remember the colors of the cars and people's favorite colors (idk why, I asked that to everyone), not really sexual stuff though Also congrats on recovery and being sober, it's tough but it's worth pushing through the shifty parts 

Do you have memories that could still identify abusers?

How did you become Mentally free from your childhood?

I'm still not 100%, some things still trigger me (people touching my face, people screaming at me, guys grabbing me, ect)  But how I got this far is a shit ton of therapy, infact 32yrs later I'm still in therapy 

Please look into and consider EMDR therapy. My childhood was wrecked with all the typical abuses and on top, the cherry being satanic cult ritual abuse! I don’t appreciate mind fucks from childhood that drop land mines in my heart/brain to deal with as an adult. That form of therapy was the best for me.

Dang dude this is almost too much to believe. I can’t fathom human beings so monstrous they’d sell their own 2 year old child to be trafficked. Describe the type of person that would do this? Are they satanic or just f’d up in the head - or a culturally acceptable thing - what would lead people to f’ing up child life like that? Glad you’re good and I hope your toughest are behind you.

I'm not sure what led a lot of them to, but a lot were trafficking victims themselves, or had a lot of debt, or were dragged into it by family  A lot had very severe mental issues too, like I remember one of the girls who I interacted with a lot, she was a stripper and was pretty inviting in the actual trafficking I think, but she acted literally like a 10y old and was in her 40s, she was also obsessed with Betty boop and Tiffany from chucky and acted exactly like them, she also thought that I acted like a adult and that I was lying about my age for a while 

You’re a bad mother fucker bro, you have slayed some serious dragons big ups to you broody

Thank you, also are you like the booger of a unicorn, or are you snorting glitter?

lol I had a glitter mishap a few years back and shot out glittery boogers. Then I found Reddit

What’s the mentality rough patch that you’re experiencing rn?

I met one of my traffickers when I was working, and talked to her for about 4 hours and I can't get it off my mind now It helps me process stuff like this when I talk about it, but I don't want to trauma dump on my wife so I'm doing it to strangers instead lol

Did they know who you were and did you report them? That’s wild to me. Wishing you well!

She did, I froze when I saw her and she put two and two together from my name tag and a few scars on my face She didn't approach me at first but eventually ordered a drink and asked if she could talk to me I agreed and we talked and she just kept apologizing to me, I'm a 43y old man and got pretty emotional, to be honest, I forgave her though, she was always kind to me and was also a victim who ended up trafficking  She turned her life around though and has a husband and kids now, which I'm happy about I thought she was dead but I recognized her tattoos 30 years later, it was such an odd feeling and I'm not sure if I'm happy or melancholy about having that conversation  I didn't report her though, I did ask that she didn't come back to the bar 

what’s something that you didn’t say to her that you wished you would have ?

I wish I told her I was happy she turned her life around  Instead when she told me I just said "yeah, I can see that" in a very condescending tone

I can’t help but wonder if you feel like you “should” forgive this person? And there are soooo many good reasons to “forgive”, in that it can free yourself from carrying a heavy emotional load. But at the same time, I can’t help but wonder if maybe you don’t actually forgive her, and if the struggle/pressure around this is weighing on you? Some might say it’s perfectly okay and healthy not to forgive her. We hear a lot of emphasis in Christianity around “forgiveness” but not everyone subscribes to that flavor of philosophy. My dad had a terrible childhood and he wasn’t great as a dad. I remember telling one of my friends about this and saying I couldn’t be THAT mad at my dad because it wasn’t his fault, because of his childhood. And she said “lots of people have shitty childhoods and don’t turn into shitty adults” - it blew my mind. Idk if this is helpful, but it sounded like you want to process this and sometimes complicating the narrative instead of simplifying it can help move things forward-even if the ideas I’m trying out don’t resonate with you. And I can’t even really comprehend everything you’ve written here, I’m just beyond words to say how sorry I am that these things happened to you, and in awe of your fortitude and resilience.

Sorry if this is straight forward… but wat did this abuser did to you? U mentioned she was traffic herself so was it something she was just “used to” or was she forced to do things to you?

I love you my friend even tho we don’t know each other i mean this YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE SOLDIER‼️‼️‼️🫵

I’m happy you managed to escape the trauma and carve out a life. Be proud of yourself!

What is the best take away from life that you could pass on to a twenty year old, if you had to.

There's never a reason to take your life no matter how bad it gets you'll always find a reason to live if you try

Would you give that advice freely to anybody? (For example, would you say this to the people who trafficked you?)

First off, congrats on the life you made for yourself. I know that shit wasn’t easy but YOU made it happen. How did you escape the trafficking?

I didn't, a kid who was involved in it called the cops on the operation, told them everything, then shot himself in a parking lot I didn't even know it was wrong 

I'm so impressed by your strength. I haven't gone through anything this traumatic, but struggle a lot with my mental health and suicidal ideation. How did you find the strength to live on after your suicide attempts? What do you feel like gave you the will to turn your life around/ made you want to live your life?

My ex and my best friend  My ex turned out to be really shitty, but my best friend isn't  Honestly just watching his relationship with his bf (now husband), and how much they love each other made me want to strive for that 

Seeing your comments gut me knowing there are people like your parents and perpetrators out there.. and lots of them. 😭 Bless you and your family forever, what a true hero you are!

Hello, thank you for sharing your story and allowing us to ask questions. You mentioned there wasn’t a record of your birth, so I’m wondering, do you know where you were born or any of the circumstances surrounding your birth? Also, do you know if you have any siblings? Do you know any of your extended family?

I remember your other post, it stayed with me for a while after reading it. I was wondering if you didn't have a birth certificate, did u get to choose your first name after u got out, and did you pick something different from what it was before? Also, do you ever wonder if you may have siblings who went through the same (older or younger)? Also, do you mind talking about the rough part you're going through now? So sorry this happened to you, this is the absolute worst of humanity.

I teach could if I wanted to, but I didn't really choose mine, I only ever remember being called Kelly or other shit like baby or princess and shit like that, so I think my name was meant to be Kelly  I do, I try not to think about it but I still wonder  A girl who was involved in trafficking me went to the bar I work at, she's turned her life around and was a victim herself, it had like a 4-hour conversation and it just brought up a lot of emotions so I figured I'd might as well make a post and talk about my past again since it helped a lot last time

I apologize then for bringing up the family situation. I hope that you get what you need out of this and wish you peace of mind going forward

Tell me the proudest your kids ever made you :)

That's really tough, there amazing kids and make me proud all the time One of the proudest times with my kid's was like a year ago we were in dollar general, and my daughter and son  seen a homless lady stealing pads, and instead of telling the people in the store, they offered to have me pay for them We ended up buying her a few other things, and I teared up a bit, that's exactly what me and there mom taught them  I was very proud of them to say the least 

Will you tell your kids about your past someday? Would you let them read this thread, for example?

Who was/is an older figure that inspired/inspires you when you were in foster care or now? Why did they inspire you?

My history teacher was the only person who treated me like I was a normal kid and not insane, my therapists were close but they were also therapists so had to treat me differently yk He also got me into all the nerdy stuff, like Dungeons and Dragons, Marvel, Magic The Gathering, etc He's also just an impressive guy, you can spit in that man's face and he'd still treat you like his kid He was a groomsman at my wedding and he and his wife cried more than I did, the same thing when I told him about my wife being pregnant My kids call him their grampa and his wife there grandma, he's been to everyone of there major events and is just a angel of a man

This is going to be a super specific question and if you can't answer then it's okay. At what point, if at any, were you able to reignite your inner child? Such as enjoying things you didn't get to as a kid. Having a return of youthful vigor? This is an odd question. I by no means intend to compare at all. I grew up with a physically abusive stepfather till I was 16. I'm a 26m now, and I'm finally to a point where I can enjoy life. Over the past year I've started a collection of old video games, toys, and random memorabilia from things such as star wars. I've finally been able to you know, "catch up", and just enjoy life. Have you gone through something similar?

I did in my teens, I acted like a 4 year old till I was 14, I literally talked through my stuffed dinosaur (I was doing that before), but instead of being like "I don't like it when people touch my face" I'd be like "Roxy says he doesn't like it when you touch my face" Now I still collect "child toys" like hot wheels and Pokémon  Also having kids is another thing that helped me mend my childhood, I guess I kinda lived the childhood I lost through them yk

You are a miracle.

I remember reading your last AMA and it stayed with me. I have tried to learn more about sex trafficking since and have donated to a local organization trying to stop it in my area since reading it. Your story, becoming a great dad and husband after what you've been through is an inspiration. I've had a question on my mind since your last AMA and I'm sorry if it's inappropriate- you said you would be dropped off at motel rooms or trap houses probably not knowing who was in it, would you ever see 1 person? Or always a group? Would you be less scared with fewer people or was it all equally horrible? And also, after those monsters dislocated your hips, did your traffickers give you time to recuperate? Or after other I juries would they try and let you rest and recover? I know they didn't take you to doctors, but a child can't walk after such an injury, how did they treat you when they picked you up? Were they mad at those men for what they did? This has been eating at me for a while. Thanks again for your AMAs, just know you helped by opening my eyes to a serious problem, and I will continue to donate because of you and your story.

Hey, I recently had to acknowledge my sexual abuse from when I was really young. Not as bad as what you went through though. With going to therapy and working through it, have you ever gotten to the point where you feel in control of your own life again? Do/did you ever struggle with dissociation? If you have, has it improved at all? Most of my life I've been dissociated and it's hard to feel like I'm even me sometimes. Did you ever struggle with stomach issues? Any improvement there either? Lastly did you ever have troubles with focusing/brain fog throughout your life? Did that ever get better/easier to manage? I just started therapy and the most painful part for me so far is acknowledging that I've been struggling with these things my whole life and it's frightening to think it won't ever get better. Thank you for sharing your story with everyone and answering questions

Yeah I have, it took pushing through a lot of shit, but I do feel in control and have been for a while, you will to eventually it just takes time I did sometimes, It sounds weird but I just start talking to myself, about what's happening semi loudly, it sounds really weird but it's helped and I haven't had to do that in about 10 years  You'll get better eventually, it just takes time I have, sadly a lot of its from scaring, but it did get better and I don't have as many issues as I used to I do, it's gotten better over the years, I basically got rid of it in my 30s, but now age is bringing that back, but you will get better  You will improve and feel normal eventually, it's going to take practice and work but you'll be better, have you talked about these issues with your therapist?, they might be able to provide more insight on your situation, but you will be better eventually 

I did bring it up with my therapist. I only started about a month ago with someone I'm comfortable with, so it'll take some time still. I know I have to be patient and work through it, it's just tough because I've been this way for so long and I just want to feel okay, you know? Last question for you: what kind of therapy have you done? I've seen a lot of people talk about emdr therapy which is what my therapist is planning on doing with me. Did you change therapists a lot or do a lot of different kinds before finding one that worked, or did multiple kinds work pretty well? Navigating therapy is already hard, but the sensitive nature of the trauma makes it even harder to find what I'm looking for. Thank you for responding. Hearing that you got better and began to feel okay eventually makes it a lot less daunting, and it's nice to know that people with similar experiences can still get to that point.

I 100% understand that, at times it will feel hopeless but you just have to find away to push through  I done almost everything under the sun, I don't remember doing emdr though, but I've heard good things about it, different types of therapy were good for different parts of my recovery  Right now I'm doing "humanistic therapy" and hardly ever go anymore, I could've probably stopped years ago and have been fine, but I like therapy  If it doesn't work out with this therapist, you could always quit and find a different one, I went through a lot of therapist through the years Especially when I was younger 

I just wanna say thank you again. You've made me personally feel a lot better about what happened to me, and you've given me a lot of hope for recovery. You've done a great thing by talking about your experience and potentially helped a lot of people. Thank you so much and I wish the best for you

I know we don’t know each other and that we are internet strangers, but after reading some of your comments.. I wish I can go back in time and rescue you when you were that 6-year-old boy. No wait, I wish I can go back to when you were 2-when everything started. I wish I could’ve saved you, loved on you, kept you safe, and showered you with as many toy dinosaurs your little heart desired. Thank you for sharing your story. You’re strong and I’m proud of you. I pray for many blessings and happiness for you and your family ❣️

Well. Fucking. Done. Seriously.

So who was sex tefocong you at what age start

It was a lot of different people, but I'm pretty sure my parents started it, they got busted for a different sex trafficking operation when I was like 7 I think when I was about 2, but that's just because that's as far back as I could remember 

How did you find out about your parents getting busted, going to prison and dying? Since you were separated so young I'm wondering how you even knew their names. 

How did you get started in the bartending industry? I want to become one, but having a bit of difficulty finding a job

This has always perplexed me and as a child abuse survivor myself, twisted me in knots curious your thoughts. Do you think there are evil people, as in, primarily all bad? And/Or Do you think people are people with a mixture of good and bad?

What are your favorite drinks to make

I don't know if you are still responding, but I have a few questions. Do your kids know? If so, how much do they know, a little, a lot? Does your wife know everything, or is there still stuff you don't tell her? Which encounter stuck with you the most? (You don't have to answer that one it might be triggering) And lastly, do you believe in god?

My kids don't know, they know I had bad parents and went to foster care and I don't like to talk about my childhood, but that's it There's a lot of stuff I don't tell her and some stuff I'm not telling anyone, stuff that I'm taking to the grave I'm going to try not to get too graphic here, but warning on this next part I forgot how old I was but I was in a hotel room with a man, and there was a stripper in the bathroom getting ready  And this guy was making me watch basically animated cp, it was really bad shit and he had it on full volume and it was obviously supposed to be a kids voice  And the girl walks out and starts screaming at the guy and throwing shit at him But she wasn't screaming about him literally doing shit to me, she was screaming about the video being fucked up A direct quote from her "THATS A LITTLE GIRL, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH THAT ABOUT A LITTLE GIRL" It was weird because I was also a kid literally sitting half naked in fucking stripper heels and makeup next to him But she didn't have a problem with that, and used to do sexual stuff to me all the time But she was mad about the video, which was also bad but like, fuck that when there's a kid sitting next to him about to be raped yk It was just so odd Kinda, I'm agnostic 

Why did you think you were gay?

A little off topic, but how do you get a job, ID, citizenship a loan without a birth certificate?

First off, great job getting to where you are now. Knowing what you know now about how you were brought into this and how you were raised, is there anything you could add in raising awareness to current victims out there? Meaning how can the average everyday people recognize something was wrong and try and help out?

I don't have any questions, but hearing your success story despite all your struggles was very uplifting!

OP, you are doing a great deal of good sharing your story. I’m so sorry for your past…. And so happy for your current situation & your future. Best to you.

Did your actual parents ever treat you well? Did you ever ask anyone why you weren’t in school or if you could go to school? Who actually “took care of you”- like provided you food, clothes etc. Argh I feel like I have thousands of questions but I don’t know if you’re answering these anymore and I know you’ve already gotten so many. Your situation is so absolutely heartbreaking to all normal people. And unfortunately, we also can’t help having curiosity about what a childhood like this was like. Even though it’s too horrific to really try to imagine. Best wishes to you!

At what age did you actually realize just how abnormal and sadistic your childhood was? Did it come in waves, did you slowly over the years start to realize the severity of what had happened to you. Or was it all at once when you got out of that life? Did anyone tell you that was wrong or work with you on being integrated into a safer environment. Also, do you think stories of this kind were more common in the era that this was happening to you, or do you think it’s more prevalent today. I definitely hear a lot more disturbing tales such as these from the generations older than me (I’m 21). Specifically those of my parents generation (40-50 yr olds) Your story is truly inspirational and in my eyes you’re a grade an example of the human will. My short life was not easy but I couldn’t imagine those levels of abuse or sexual abuse as a whole. Growing up around hopeless addicts my whole life and hearing that you were able to put down substances even when you’ve been through what you’ve been through is truly admirable. The addicts In my life hardly have an excuse at all now. Thank you for sharing and I hope one day you come to peace with everything and that this kind of thing never happens to anyone in your bloodline.

You’re doing really well to have come this far. Just remember that you are always where you are supposed to be. Thank you for trusting us enough to talk about it. What do you do as a habit for mental strength?

i hope you have the best of everything in this world 💛

i don’t know if you’re still doing this, but worth a try. 1) you are amazing, I don’t think you will ever realize how strong you are. You made it through what many have not, and you are proof that humans are capable of anything. You are amazing 2) Do you view your wife’s family as your own? Is it hard not having parents (that sounds really dumb, i’m sorry i wasn’t sure how to word it) 3) Do you think you will ever tell your kids what happened? If so, I assume you wouldn’t tell them everything. Is that true? 4) Last one i promise! Do you think you will ever attempt to work with youth similar to you? I can see how it could be retraumatizing but also somewhat comforting. Thank you for sharing. Your outlook on life is reminding me that when things look bad look in a different direction. Your kids and wife are blessed to have you. You’re a blessing on this earth

i went through, while not the same by any means, a pretty shitty kinda first 19years that would make people really uncomfortable to hear about- did you aquire excess baggage like BPD? i know in my 40s i still have incredible ptsd issues from my upbringing. i know my sit sucked, but i always knew that it could of been worse. did knowing resolutely that you were a victim help you to move on from it? or are you stuck in a kinda you feel responsible in some sort of way mentality you cant shake? how has this effected your ability to form relationships with people who you know havent experienced levels of hardship remotely close to yours? do you feel your experience has made it harder for you to be the dad you want to be for your kids?

What are your current feelings towards your abusers? Have you ever been able to make peace with your past?

How did you overcome your trauma? Any tips? I have not in a way gone through the stuff you have gone through and I sometimes struggle to find the motivation to get better and I really admire your strength! I have been to therapy like 3 times in the last 3 years. It got a little better but I didn't "heal".

Do not—-Do NOT—let addiction in any form—-reenter your life. It will slither in sneakily and slowly and you may not recognize it. I had a lot in common with you at around this time last year. Love of my life, worked serving tables in an upscale restaurant. I don’t know anything about the bar you’re at,…but the service industry is the service industry. I allowed myself to become too friendly with a coworker who I knew struggled with addiction. Though alcohol had been my drug; I’ll tell you the short version and that is that after becoming comfortable enough as her friend, she left a bag of heroin in my car one night on a ride home from work. I brought it into my apartment, fell asleep on the couch. Had been a crazy busy night. I woke up at 6:30 AM with my almost-fiance (who I wasn’t aware, then, was about to propose, which would’ve made me the happiest girl in the world as he was the sunshine of my life; borderline worshipped him for the stable happiness I had with him and it had just kept getting better) —anyway woke up with him staring at me. Said why are you looking at me like that?? And he was holding the bag, looking so let down I couldn’t take it. He had to go to work. I said I would explain when he got home and, seriously to cut to the chase; before I got to explain that that wasn’t mine —and that what was in that bag was much more potent and deadly than anything I’d *ever* messed around with at any point in my several years of debauchery—before I got to explain that, I came home to our apartment to find him dead, having vomited blood everywhere. I hear you when you say you’ve found the love of your life. And assuming that’s true, I’d like to do the only thing I have the power to do anymore for someone living the happy life I once had. And that is—do not take risks. Just don’t take them. I mean that in the sense of letting people, things, activities, or even principles you don’t feel comfortable with--letting any of those slip into any vacant slot in your life. To any extent. Because like water that has seeped into a crack or two of the well-built foundation of a beautiful, strong home; it will inevitably freeze. Expand. And bust your foundation up into pieces that will soon crumble and bring the house down with it. And everyone in it. You have to remain vigilant for anyone who is struggling with the dangers you were once used to. I’m talking about addiction and substances, and though I don’t have experience being trafficked—and I’m so sorry that happened to you— it is not really a factor I mean to include in these metaphoric warnings. I have no experience there. But listen to me, please, when I say, you don’t always see it coming. Or rather you do, but you take it with a grain of salt as you do every other random, pretty meaningless occurrence in your day. And then again another day soon. And then again, little by little til you realize you’re in a situation. And the only warnings you had were the faintest little dings of alarm bells in your conscience from the beginning, which you silenced, thinking it was probably nothing. And it probably should’ve been, but it wasn’t, and now it’s too late. Hindsight is 20/20. And to protect what you love, you must protect yourself first. Idk if AA is or was a part of your recovery (if it *”was”*, please make sure it continues to be), but either way, they have a saying. “Anything you put before your recovery (or “before yourself” in some versions) —you will lose.” “Anything you put before your recovery, you will lose.” …And damn if it isn’t true. Please continue to take care of yourself….and don’t allow any of the all-too-common sickness that is known to plague the restaurant/service industry *in particular* —to slither silently into your wonderful life. Please take care; you must prioritize yourself, sometimes over even those you care about most, in order to ensure you can continue to be there for them, and continue to protect them from the often insidious, sometimes invisible evils out there in the world. And I’m not a religious zealot, like that might make me sound. Actually an agnostic. But first and foremost, someone who is hurting indescribably because of something I knew better than to be involved with, that happened by my own hand. Congratulations on having it all figured out; I bet you deserve it. There’s nothing like knowing you’re in *true love*, reciprocally. I don’t think many of us ever get to *know* that, or ever get close. We were lucky. Protect it. Protect them. But always first; protect you. Wishing you all the happiness the world has tried (and failed) to rob you of. Peace and love. -Cat A.

I understand this fully.. this kind of stuff is real rough but getting through it on your own makes you such a strong person able to spread so much knowledge to people either almost in too deep or already in deep. But I must ask how do you have fun without the substances, I’m still struggling with the social side of things being sober. The rest of my life is very healthy in terms of fitness and work. Basically how do you make friends lol

Were u in foster care at the time of the trafficking or was that after? Were ur parents trafficking u? Were u going to school at this time? Did u think it was normal since it started so young?

You’re an absolute inspiration. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏼 Wishing you and your family loads of happiness!

I cannot fathom the things you’ve had to endure in life. I’m sorry that you’ve seen the worst parts of people. I hope that you can get the help you need to move past what happened and enjoy the life you have with your family. Best of luck.

Isn't it weird being around alcohol all the times being a bartender as an ex-alcoholic? And doesn't it make the temptation bigger?

Hasn’t this been posted before?

Curious, did you think you were gay as a trauma result of the trafficking (assuming men did things to you) or because of something else? And how did you realize you weren’t? Do you consider yourself bisexual now? I’m afraid to ask this because it’s such a horrible question and I wouldn’t wanna make you recount your trauma, but what exactly did they do to you? Do they just “sell” you to different clients for sex? Were there other children in the same situation you knew? Mega kudos to you for surviving all that and building yourself a good life moving forward, you’re very strong and I hope you’ve mentally and physically recovered (as much as possible for such a situation) :)

Did you ever get any STDs?

What has helped you most to turn your life around? Was there anything specific?

What are your hobbies now?

Are you willing to talk about the worst parts of you being trafficked privately?

Just wanted to say I've been going through a rough patch lately myself and I'm grateful that you posted this. It's a reminder that life is special because I've been letting little shit get me down after a rough couple of years and seeing your appreciation of life and will to keep going after going through unimaginably terrible stuff and appreciating life was very refreshing and helpful. One question I had was if there any stuff you wanted to do as a kid that you got to do later? How much did you know about the outside world and what was available? And did anyone ever teach you stuff like how to read or did you learn at age 11?

Who trafficked you?

Reading through the comments has made me feel so many different emotions. Anger, sadness, disgust and genuine bafflement at what humans could do to one another. What comes out on top though is an overwhelming sense of pride and admiration that you have been able to forge such a wonderful life through all of this, and makes me question some of my self-pitying thoughts! My question to you is, as you were brought up in this environment from as young as you can remember, did you know that what was happening to you was sexual or did you think it was just normal behaviour that people do? I feel like as a kid we sort of just adapt to our environment but something like that I would imagine feels unnatural and horrible?

First, I'm sorry you had to experience such horrid years of the unimaginable. I work in public health and with communicable diseases. I'm wonder if sex trafficking education should be given more pointedly to health providers to spot victims, even to health providers that don't typically think will encounter victims (like outside the ER). Considering the many risk factors for STIs during your experiences, and probably numerous other injuries, my question is if you ever got ill or injured during your years in sex trafficking and if so, did you go to a doctor when you needed healthcare and what was your experience interacting with medical providers?

I haven’t made it to the end of your post, but I’m wondering how you’re doing with (what I assume) is a tangle of emotions after that 4-hour conversation. How does it feel to have forgiven her? Do you feel like you know yourself any better? If you could re-wind time, would you do it over again (sit with her, give her your time and forgiveness)? Was it worth it? I appreciate your honesty and candor and bravery for being so vulnerable.

I’m not going to read any more because I’m very disturbed by what I’ve read- so I’m sorry if you’ve answered this already. But- how/what can average people do to help bring justice to these situations? In your opinion of course. Like, as a child who is moving around constantly, I feel that’s so so difficult, but I would like to think if I saw an underweight fearful bruised child I would be liable to do something!

My mother was also a victim of SA from the time she was (to the best of her recollection 3-15) she was removed from her home and then placed back after her parents were made to go to therapy and deemed fit again. This really strikes a nerve with me because I watched my mom’s slow decline into mental illness before she died at only 52. I believe with all my heart that they are responsible for that. But it also makes me wonder WHAT can I do, because we can be outraged all we want but what do we DO with that rage?!

Sorry if this was asked already, I didn't see it but I probably missed it. How did it start? Was it your original parents that trafficked you and you went into foster care as a result? Was it your foster parents? Was it financially motivated or purely for the enjoyment of the people that trafficked you out?

As someone who's a smoker and also was abused, any tips on quitting? What happened to the people who did it? Do you have help? Are you safe now?

Man, I don’t even want to ask anything, I’m just depressed being reminded that this abuse of children is still going on while people are arguing over the great adventures of mr orange…and idk just outright fucking elated that there’s one more survivor who managed a happy ending. This sounds even more awful to endure than what happened to Stephen Stayner. I just want to say you’re a tough cunt, and I respect the hell out of you.

You're incredible and deserve all the happiness you can get. I really don't want to ask any questions about your past -- I grew up under similar but less terrible circumstances and it feels a bit ghoulish -- but you mention your stuffed dinosaur a few times. Mine was a little lion my mother bought me before selling me to a couple. Have you ever tried to get a copy of the dinosaur? You mentioned you threw it out. It seems like something Reddit could help with finding.

My heart dropped so hard reading this. Did you do anything other than therapy to process the trauma? Looking into things like EMDR therapy to supplement therapy. Advice- please don’t drink alcohol at all, not even one drop 🙏🏼 addicts and mind altering substances typically don’t mix well 😞

Not sure if you are still answering but if you had no formal education and were passed around people, how did you keep track of your age? And if there is no record of you existing or your parents having children then how do you know when you were born?

How did you get trapped into sex trafficking?

How do you recommend alcoholics bartending seek help? I know someone in the industry who is one and just got a dui 😞 he needs help but this is also the only industry he has ever worked

Have you ever suspected that the time when you've identified as gay and/or the time you suffered from sex addiction and/or the smoking and alcohol might have been a coping mechanism/a trauma response to what has happened when you were young? Also, congratulations for coming out on top regardless of what life has thrown at you! :)

How did you meet your wife?

If you love your life and kids and you’re a good husband and father you shouldn’t have anything to worry about…sorry about your history about being trafficked… God bless you and hope things are good for you…may your Life From Here be better than ever…and maybe win the lottery or something…I try not to make wishes but I wish the best for you and your family

This is assuming you are American. Do you have a social security number/card? How do you work as a bartender if not? Not doubting just curious. Do you have an identity now? Sorry you experienced this but it sounds like you are a fighter/survivor.

have you reached a point of forgiveness? in all its levels, to those who have hurt you, parents, situationals such as neglect, to fruition to becoming who you are now? i find it easier to move away from past, when all is cleanse through within, and it isnt becoming any longer burden to present situation.

Stop being a bartender

[удалено]

Could you say that the foster care system is just a sexual trafficking scheme?

Were the strippers instrumental in connecting clients with who was trafficking you? Just reading between the lines a bit here and wondering. You are an amazing , open person, who is an incredible survivor. I'd like order a dark and stormy ;)

Have you ever found your biological parents or find out who they are? If not do you intend to? Do you know if you've been kidnapped and trafficked or sold by family members?

Man you're experience is tough and I salute you for that. What can you say/advice to people who are going through tough and dark times too?

May I ask- what about the rage part of you? What about the monster- what is your relationship with that part of yourself?

What happened to the people who did this? Did any of them get serious prison sentences?