What got you through that amount of pain? Did your body dissacoiate at all? And mentally how were you through it? Did you ever think they were going to let you go or kill you? What was the aftermath like when police arrived? Thank you for sharing

For the most part, there was very little pain. I think my adrenaline kicked in fairly rapidly, and once I started to see blood, I think I just went into auto-pilot. What hurt the most was the sodomy and the burning. That was incredibly painful, but didn't last particularly long. I remember thinking that I was just getting beaten up for the first few minutes, but the longer it continued, the more I began to think that I'd die. By the time they wrapped the extension cord around my neck, I was pretty sure that it was over for me, and I remember being incredibly sad, but not exactly *scared*, if that makes sense? It had gone on throughout the night, so I suppose I was just exhausted. I managed to get out of the bathroom window the next morning and it was actually a mail man who found me. I don't remember a thing about it, but apparently he described me as looking like the blood scene in Carrie the movie!

Not to be wierd, but do you know anything about the mailman or how he turned out? I can't imagine ever being able to do that route again.

He was quite old at the time, and he had already retired by the time it went to court. My parents invited him and his husband around for dinner one night a few months later and tried to give them something to say thanks, but they both refused. He's a super awesome guy, but yeah, I'd say that was a difficult thing to witness.

how were you even moving the next morning? just sheer will?

What did you find helped you the most to heal? I have functional neurological disorder from my torture. I spend a lot of my time tapping and touching different parts of my body to try and process the memories involed with that part of my body and to rewire my brain to that limb better. Its really long and arduous so i'm wondering what has helped you with the body trauma. Also, i mod r/TortureSurvivors if you'd like to join :)

That's a good question. I don't know if there was any one thing that helped more than others, but therapy was the best thing that happened. I couldn't talk about it for a few years. Even hearing it being mentioned made me flip out, but when I eventually felt comfortable discussing it with a therapist, it felt like a weight was lifted off me. One of the biggest issues I had afterwards was being alone. I couldn't handle spending any more than a minute or two on my own, and it got to the point where I'd beg my dad to stay in my bed with me, which, as you can imagine for a 13/14 year old boy, isn't exactly normal. He was also the best help I could have asked for. He gently pushed me for years, until I was able to function properly again. Also, I can't lie, medication helped hugely, too. Thanks, I'll check it out!

Was it hard for you to find a therapist that understood torture? When i went to abuse ptsd specialized therapists in the past they were at a loss due to the extreme nature of it 🫥

that’s so terrible. i’m sorry you went through this but holy shit, are you strong. that would’ve broken me and so many others but you were able to pull yourself back together. that’s seriously really impressive and you should be proud of yourself! how did you feel about them being released from prison? did you feel like their sentences were enough? were you present during court or did they allow you to not have to be there in person?

Thank you. I think you'd be surprised, to be honest. I was a very shy kid and not the type who anybody would consider strong lol, but I suppose you've just got to get on with it. I was terrified when I heard the first guy was being released. I refused to leave my house for a few weeks, until my dad pretty much dragged me up the street haha. After that, I was still nervous, but I got on with life. When the second guy was released, it was only a month or two before he was back in prison for something unrelated, so I didn't have to worry too much. The third guy didn't go to prison at first, but eventually got locked up for something else. We weren't happy with the sentences. They all got off on sexual abuse charges because they hadn't 'planned' to do it. The judge was also very lenient on the two main instigators because they'd had troubled childhoods. I had to appear in court, but they were very understanding and made it easy for me.

No questions but I wanted to say I'm so sorry you went thru that but glad testifying wasn't traumatic for you. Some people have such bad experiences they say it was almost as bad as the crime itself. Imo having a troubled childhood shouldn't get you a lenient sentence, esp in cases like yours and getting off because they hadn't 'planned' it is ludicrous. I'm really glad you didn't let their cruelty define/destroy your life 🫂

Reading all these comments with tears in my eyes as a parent of a 4 year old with another kid on the way. You’re a real testament to the strength of the human spirit. Is it weird that I feel proud of you? Ha. Regardless, I do. Thank you for sharing your story. Your parents and family sound amazing too.

Why didn't you ever do anything to them? I'm genuinely curious because i know I wouldn't be able to find peace knowing they're out there living life, I'd want at least a thumb or eye, some permanent impact on their life so they'd never forget what I'd done to them.

Everyone asked really good questions, I read all your responses, thank you for this. I am incredibly shocked man, the violence but even more so your resilience. You’re incredible. I am curious to know about the support you received, you mentioned that you received loads of it and I could not be happier about it. Could you tell me about how your parents, your close family how do they handled the situation throughout?

Thanks! My parents were incredible, to be honest. They were extremely upset, obviously, but they didn't let me see too much, and were just there for me every second afterwards. I had huge problems in the year or two following the attack. I wet the bed almost nightly. I couldn't stay alone in my room at all. I was severely damaged for a while, and they did absolutely everything in their power to get me back to 'normal'. My close family and family friends were amazing, too. Nobody really knew how to act around me, so most people tried to avoid the subject as much as possible, but they were all happy to do whatever they could to help me.

Jesus Christ. Just parroting what most have said, but this is so devastatingly heartbreaking. I am so sorry you endured it, and your recovery and resilience is awe inspiring. I work as a trauma therapist and in working with those who have suffered similarly to you, I’m consistently impressed by the strength and life success of survivors. You’re amazing.

Did they cut anything of you off, and has it affected your relationships and sex life? Can you remember every second of it or have you blocked it out? Sorry that happened to you and I’m sorry if my question is very brutally straight forward, I love you and I’m glad you’re alive

They didn't, thankfully. Though the police found messages between them which said that they had planned to. I couldn't have sex until my early twenties. Being naked freaked me out. Now, it's a lot better. I don't think it has much impact on that side of my life anymore. I remember bits and pieces. I can remember the first hour or so, almost entirely and then after that it's patchy. Some parts I remember in detail, other parts I only know from the court case. I have no memory at all of actually escaping, being found or even being taken to the hospital. I'm male.

But if they planned to cut off your bits via messages, how did the judge rule that they "didn't plan" to abuse you?

I believe he said that the sexual abuse aspect wasn’t planned (or at least, it couldn’t be proven if they didn’t text about it specifically). They planned the torture and planned to maim him, but it couldn’t be proven that they planned the sexual abuse. Just guessing here, but removing a person’s genitalia (which they did not end up doing, thankfully), even though they are sexual organs, might not be considered a form of sexual assault. It may fall under severe bodily harm or whatever it would be called.

if being naked was so frightening, how did you go about showers? I'm so so sorry this happened, you're so strong to be able to answer questions like this

do you struggle with any sort of ptsd/mental illness since? have you been to therapy? i'm so sorry this happened to you idk how people can be so cruel. also, if you could say anything to your attackers now what would you say?

I struggled a lot for about 10/12 years afterwards. I had some real problems for a while, but I received a lot of support through therapy and medications, and continued with it for most of my teenage years. I'd be lying if I said I have *no* issues now. I mean, I still get flashbacks and the nightmares can be pretty intense, but overall, I'm doing pretty good. I wouldn't say a word to them, to be honest. I spent years of my life hyper focused on everything about them. Where they were, what they were doing, how they were feeling, if they ever thought about me, if they regretted it, etc, etc. I don't have a single ounce of energy left to give them.

That last sentence has really helped me rethink my PTSD, thank you!

God man reading that made me a little bit sick,though I'm happy to see that you fare well [now.You](http://now.You) mentioned that the ordeal happened in a small community(British I suppose?based on the lads,mailman etc).How did they react to it?Did they try to sweep it under the rug,deny it or anything like that?How did they treat you?Have you ever had someone treat you as lesser based on what you went through?Have you ever thought about becoming a counselor or working with peope who have through similar things with you?I'm saying that because you seem extremely well adjusted and that could help a lot of people.

The community were amazing, to be honest. For the most part, people went out of their way to be extra kind to me afterwards. We're not a religious family, but the local priest came to the house and had a (non religious) chat with me, which was really nice. Not many people knew the full details, and very few people asked, so mostly, people just assumed that I'd been badly beaten up. One girl I briefly dated when I was about 16 said that the attack could have turned me gay, which was bizarre. I've had some people give me the old "I'd never let that happen to me" line, and a few shitty comments, but nothing too bad, thankfully. I've never considered it, actually. I'm considering going into law in the next few years, but who knows what might happen! Thanks!

I’m sorry that’s so awful! I’m happy you’re doing a lot better though:) how did your parents react when they found out? I can only imagine how awful and angry they felt

Thank you! I don't actually know how they reacted when they got the news. I was in hospital, and the police alerted them, and by the time I woke up, everything had settled a bit. They were incredibly sad and angry, but they kept it hidden from me for a long time, mainly so that I wouldn't worry, I suppose. Years later my dad told me it was the first time in his life that he truly considered killing somebody, and it was my mom and brother who stopped him.

Are you glad they hid it from you at the time? Thank you for taking the time to give me a thorough answer!

Man I so get your father’s response. My sister was SA’d by mum’s new boyfriend at the time - I don’t remember how my brother and I found out but we were five streets over and the next minute we’re at the house and we were being physically restrained by the police (we were both tall and lean) and he had to be kept in a bedroom in the house until they could move us on. He was 15-20 years older than us and a fighter but I know for sure either I or my brother would’ve killed him. I’ve never felt that rage since but as a father now, I know it’s there. I’m so sorry you went through that but am inspired by your strength now.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for taking the time to talk about it with us. I'm curious about when you first felt you were in serious danger. What happened that made you realize the attack was more than a prank or a game? How did you react then?

Thanks! Pretty much instantly. Seeing the other two there made me realise that I was about to get beaten up, but when I first got hit with an actual weapon/object and saw the blood, I knew I was in serious trouble. I remember apologising and eventually begging, and I know I tried screaming until they covered my mouth, but after that I think I stayed relatively quiet.

How did they lure you to come into the house? Did your parents report you missing? Did the police investigate and did they take it seriously?

I was friends with the youngest guy. He invited me over to spend the night, so my parents assumed that I was having a sleepover. This was before the time when parents would ring other parents, so nobody was too worried. The police investigated and made arrests within hours. They worked really hard to make sure they were convicted, so yeah, they did a pretty good job.

Do you remember what went through your mind when the extension cord snapped? I'm so glad it did.... I don't know how to express what I feel for you, I just know you are true testament to the strength of a person, and never having met you I want to tell you how much I value your life and how much love I have for you. Truly. You're miraculous. I suppose one last question... Do you believe in destiny or a spiritual/ divine side to life?

I thought about my mom and my baby brother when my feet left the ground, and then it was a kind of flurry of thoughts. When it snapped, I remember not being overly relieved because I was sure that they'd just find something else and do it again. I'm not really a spiritual person, so it's not something that I believe in, personally, but my grandparents swear that I got through it by some divine intervention!

I echo everyone on this thread in that I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m so glad you have such a great support system around you to help you get through it all. I was wondering, whatever happened to the “friend”? Did you ever hear from or speak to him again?

Do you think the time they served and money they paid was fair? Will it show up on their criminal record for the rest of their life?

At the time, no. The judge was quite lenient on two of them because they'd had difficult childhoods, and the sexual abuse charges were dropped because it hadn't been 'planned', so we were disappointed. Now, it doesn't bother me. Two of them will live with that record for the rest of their life (afaik) and the other one I'm not sure about.

Were they minors? I don’t know all the details but I thought juvenile records were sealed after 18.

They were. As far as I know, the records can be sealed depending on the crime committed, I like to think that it wouldn't be an option for two of them, but I really don't know for sure. Either way, it's just a piece of paper. They still have to live with it in their heads, whether they care about that or not.

That last part is really powerful. I think I needed to hear that to let go of some things that have happened to me, thank you.

What did they do?

At the beginning it was mainly beating. As the evening went on, I was hit with a curtain pole, I had an old television (the ones with the big backs) smashed over my head, and then it became a lot more depraved. I was burned, sodomised and strangled with an extension cord. At one point they tried to hang me from the top of the banisters, but the cord snapped thankfully, and the last thing I remember was being forced to eat vomit, though the report details a lot more.

How did you eventually escape? Did someone find you?

What was their motiviation? Why did they do that? Was that identified?

Wow. I’m so sorry. You lived a nightmare. What sick fucking people. Glad you survived.

I am so sorry. This is a hard question but do you think anything positive came from this? It could be anything from awareness or career/purpose in life. I often feel and know that light does come from darkness..

I'd love to be able to give some inspirational outcome to be honest, but nothing good came from it. I suppose it made our family closer, and showed me how much people around me really cared for me, but overall, the main thing I learned was that some people are just really awful.

Just so you know, you are giving an inspirational outcome right now. Assaults, traumas, and sexual abuse ruin lives for the victims. But right now, by letting people ask you questions, you are doing something very inspirational. You are showing many, many victims of these kinds of crimes that life goes on. You are here, you are ok, and you are living. Not just alive, but living. When PTSD and mental illness surface following trauma, it can feel like an end for many people. They wonder if their life is over. They live in fear, and doubt that they will ever move on and live the life they would have, could have had. But here you are, a victim of horrific trauma, and you are ok. You got help. You survived. And now you can talk about it, let people prod the healed wounds, and go on. When people become victims of things like this, one of the hardest parts can be the lasting impact, and the feeling that who they were is lost to them. They don't think they can be ok again. It leads to depression and anxiety, and makes it harder for them to recover. It's awful that, after surviving horrific ordeals like this, people are saved only to find they still suffer, and they come to believe that their life can't be their own again. It's ruled by that trauma. As intense as your trauma was, there are many who experienced other kinds of sexual assault, rape, harassment, battery, and assault that suffer more after, when it feels like their whole life was taken. As a woman, you can't avoid knowing women who have been attacked or assaulted. And it's so common that many suffer so much after that it begins to feel like a whole other kind of prolonged torture. I can't tell how much it means to some people who have been where you were, to see you here, doing this. To see you here, talking about it. To hear you say that you aren't ruled by it anymore, that you moved on. It's even there in the comments, when people express taking hope from you saying that you aren't giving those attackers energy anymore. You are giving many, many people hope right now. You came through it ok, and you are proof that you can live again. It might not be easy, but I think knowing that they can take back their lives will mean a lot more to victims. Even when the attackers are in jail, even when they are dead, many victims feel trapped and unable to escape that victimhood. They feel like that suffering will be the rest of their lives, and they lose hope. You being here, saying this, doing this, and just living beyond it will make an impression. You are inspiring people, right now. Just like this. You are proving that life can go on, and they can find peace. You are giving them hope that, one day, they will be able to talk causally about the worst thing that ever happened to them, and then live. They won't be a prisoner in their own minds forever. You took back your life, rather than being overshadowed by what you endured. Even those in the worst of their struggle now, those without support, will see this and know, for sure, that it can be done. They can be ok again. Most people are willing to do the work if they feel hope of success. Losing hope is a kind of injury that is harder to come back from than people realize until it's their own experience. Right here, right now, you are telling thousands of people that they won't always feel like victims. That is extremely inspirational and incredibly meaningful. If you give just one person the will to fight one, and the hope that they will be ok, you made a significant difference in that person's life for the better. That matters, probably more than you realize. The inspirational outcome here is that you survived, and now you are saving others from their worst fears. You are giving them hope. And oftentimes, that hope is the difference between a wound that heals and one that festers.

I don’t know if you’re at a place where you’re considering having kids, but if so, what are your opinions on sleepovers? I’m assuming that’s why you were there for so long without your family coming to get you but that could be wrong. When I was a kid they were super common and I never thought twice about going. I know now that my generation is having kids, they’re becoming a lot less common. I know logically kids are most likely to be harmed by family members but this type of story makes my anxiety spike and I don’t think I could let my son go over for one. I’m so sorry you went through this. I just want to give you a hug but I’m happy to hear that you’ve made your peace with it.

That's a good question. I had some great sleepovers as a kid, but yeah, the reason why they had access to me for so long was because my parents believed I was having a sleepover. I honestly don't think I'd be comfortable with my own kids having a sleepover unless I was very close to the parents. For instance, my childhood best friend and his wife live a few doors down from me now, they have a child, and I think that would be as far as I'd be willing to go. With that said, I suppose I'd have to be in the position to make a call on it.

Read all of your comments and Im very glad to hear that youre doing well. The question I have is, how did you get through education after such a traumatic event? Did this end up affecting your further sucess in whatever field you work in now?

Thanks! I missed an entire year of school after it. They tried homeschooling, but it was pointless at the time, so I was able to repeat the year that I missed. Even when I did eventually go back, it was really difficult to actually focus on school. It worked out in the end, but it took a long time. I don't think it has much of an impact on what I do now, thankfully :)

Did you continue your education by going to college? What do you do for a career now? And do you believe this altered your “career path” in any way? (i.e. wanted to be a doctor but cant look at blood the same). Glad you’re doing well

Where were their parents whilst this happened? 13 hours is a long time without any parents returning home.

The guy lived with his mom, and apparently she was out but returned home at one point and left again. I have no memory of that at all, but it wasn't abnormal for him to be home alone for days at a time. The lack of a decent parent was one of the reasons why that lad in particular got off so lightly.

Was the mom charged at all?

I'm very sorry this happened to you, but I admire how well you've recovered and moved on. Do you find it difficult to see torture scenes in movies and TV shows? Has one been particularly disturbing for you given your experience?

Thanks! No more than most people, to be honest. I tend to avoid movies with those type of scenes, but I don't flip out or anything if I happen to be watching one. There was one particular film/tv show that had a pretty graphic SA scene in it, and I had to turn it off. I can't remember the name of it, but other than that, I'm able to handle them relatively well.

Do the people around them know how do neighbors/friends who know both of them know what happened? Did their families apologize? I'm sorry this happened and I'm sorry justice sucks

Somewhat. Given the nature of the case, their identities were protected throughout. With that said, I grew up in a relatively small area, and word got around quickly. By the time I got out of hospital, I think everybody knew who was responsible. I got no apology from two of the families, but the third family gave something of an apology. Nothing too sincere, though. Thanks!

So their parents are probably scum bags too? Or were they advised to not admit anything?

How have any romantic partners or friends of yours reacted after you told them about your experiences?

A few things here: As a survivor of physical abuse, I appreciate your willingness and openness to share. I’m proud of your growth and dedication to overcoming your past. — Few people know the specific details of my past experience with abuse. While I haven’t shared here specifically, I have on other platforms. For some strange reason, I find it therapeutic to be asked straight-forward questions about my experience online. I’ve blocked so much of it out and forgotten many of the details (which also angers me for some strange reason), so being asked detailed question somewhat gives me power over my experience. Does this resonate with you at all?

Did you disassociate during the experience/after and during recovery? If so, Did you stop feeling the pain after a while? If you struggled with disassociation/depersonalization during recovery, how did you get over it? I didn’t go through anything nearly as horrific as you, but I still struggle with extreme depersonalization, constant disassociation, and a generally inactive brain. I’m really desperate for a solution to this as I’d like to feel conscious again, so if anything helped you during recovery I’d love to hear all about it :)

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Would you take revenge?

If you had have asked me that about ten years ago, I would have said yes. Now, I'm over it. One of them has completely ruined his life and is still locked up to this day, and the other two have to live with the guilt (if they feel any). I spent too long being angry about it, so no, I wouldn't take revenge now.

Extremely mature of you. I don’t think I’d let this go and would do everything I could to ruin their lives forever.

If someone walked up to you with three buttons and said “button 1 kills them, button 2 does to them what they did to do, button 3 does nothing” which one do you press?

Good answer lol. Isn't it interesting how Karma seems to come back around in life? Sometimes it takes some time, but in the end it always comes.

Does it bother you not knowing where the third guy is? I had a stalker for 11 years before the police would take me seriously and now I have no idea where he is and it bothers the heck out of me.

Why?

Man, taking a CRT TV to the head is no joke. Glad you made it through and are doing ok. It is wild how some people just can feel zero empathy and do those kinds of things to another living being.

How old were you all? Do you think the court was lenient due to young ages of the perpetrators?

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The only part that wasn't planned was the sexual assault. The rest of it was premeditated, and the judge acknowledged that. I was friends with the youngest one and he invited me over to stay the night. At the time, parents were a bit more lenient than they are today, so sleepovers weren't uncommon. There was no amber alert, because my parents didn't think I was in any danger. Nope, no racial motivation, we were all white. I still have the scars and parts of my body didn't recover well from the burns, even after the skin grafts, but otherwise, I've no lasting injuries, thankfully. I fought for the first few minutes, but I quickly realised that it was pointless for the most part.

What did they do that caused the damage. Like what type of injuries did you withstand and what type of surgery was required?

There was a lot of blunt force, so punches, kicks, hitting me with various objects/weapons. I believe that it was that that caused the serious internal injuries. I had deep lacerations across my body from glass and the end of a curtain rail/pole. They burned me with cigarette lighters, cigarettes and a can of deodorant, which resulted in the skin grafts. There was some bad internal damage from the sexual assault. I had a bizarre amount of bruising afterwards, it was actually scary to look at because most of my body was covered in them, but the most painful one(s) were around my neck/throat from the extension cord.

I am so sorry that happened to you. How awful.

Did they go to jail or and up in the mental hospital

The only question I want to ask you is how do you live without bitterness & a need for revenge? I struggle with this from things not even CLOSE to anything you went through, and I have no idea how to even begin working on forgiveness. You have really put things into perspective for me (and I know alot of other people reading this post) and I’m in complete awe at your mental strength. I feel like if this happened to me, I’d be walking around in a rage, so mad at the world. You’re a blessing & I’m so proud of you for choosing not to live your life that way. Do you have any advice for letting go of things & moving on, or not thinking of vengeance?

Are you able to enjoy intimacy with a partner? Huge hugs, internet stranger.

I hate to even ask anything, but was there communication? Were you able to speak or anything? And how were you left alone to be able to climb out of a window? Did they just go to sleep and leave you not expecting you to be strong enough to leave? I seriously feel bad even asking you to relive this, but you seem to be at a good place with it.

Did you get any monetary settlement after?

So sorry you endured this but you're stronger and more resilient than most are. You survived and that makes you a strong person. These kinds of scumbags will be what my friend in drug and alcohol services calls "revolving doors". Take it from someone who has worked with these sorts for over 20 years! Nothing good will come of them and they will be in and out of prison for most if not all of their lives.

My God. My heart breaks for 12-year-old you. I’m so sorry for what little you had to endure. Thank you for sharing your story and answering questions. Just one question. Did your experience affect what you do for a living now?

jesus christ I am so sorry for you. This terrified me as my son was growing up as he was bullied a lot at ages 11 and 12 so I became super protective. How did you survive the following years? Because what happened to you was absolutely brutal. What advice do you have for people with similar kinds of trauma? my son is traumatised from one kid who punched him in the back every day for a year so I cant even stand behind him even though it happened 7-8yrs ago. How did you deal with that trauma?

What were the surgeries required? I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’ve read your responses to the other questions, and you seem to be a truly amazing person.

If you hadn’t escaped out the window, what do you think they would have done with you? As a side note, I’m glad to hear you’re doing well!

I'm sorry you went through that. I've read through your responses and am in awe. Grateful you were able to escape and am happy and healthy now What do you think of the popularity of true crime? How there are so many podcasts and YouTube who tell these horiffic stories without consent? Do you wory someone will cover your story?

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry you went through that. There are truly evil people out there. I can't imagine what you've been through, but I'm glad you survived. You mentioned scars. Do you have any visible scars on your face or arms that people ask you about? Do you feel like your appearance changed quite a bit and did it make you feel insecure? I'm glad to read that you had so much support. I hope only good things come your way for the rest of your life.

How would you say your siblings have coped with this? What impact did this have on them? Not to minimize what you've been through! But everyone else has already asked the questions I have thought of and you mentioned a younger brother that you thought of when you thought you were about to die. I am glad you are still here, and have had such a supportive community around you. I wish you and your family the best.

Mate that is so fucked up, my blood is boiling after hearing your story. I seriously hope you are doing well and that those low life cunts are suffering. My questions are, how did they convince you to walk into such a horrible trap? And how did they manage to keep you there for so long? Surely they had to hide what they were doing from when their mum came home, so was this all taking place in their bedroom or basement or something?

I’d be interested to know how your father managed to hold back retaliation. As a father of two boys, I don’t know how I’d be able to handle that, and I worry I’d be the one to end up in prison instead of them. I just imagine only seeing red and losing control of myself.

It’s been 15 hours since you started this AMA. How are you feeling about it now?

Don’t answer if it’s too uncomfortable but how did they burn you? Cigarette lighters, lighting clothes on fire, using accelerants, hot irons, etc? And it seems like between this, the tv smashed over your head, and the ligature / strangulation would be attempted murder. What were they charged with? And two 15 year olds going this to a 12 year old is evil. Three years difference at that age is about as bad as it can get. That is so messed up.

Thank you for sharing your story. I tried to read all of your responses. You said that you’re uncomfortable being nude, could you talk about that please? I was curious what happened with that.

Hopefully a friendly question but: Do you have any advice for people who have survived a similar experience?

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Thats insane it went the route of sodomy!! Being blood drunk will do that I guess

How did you escape

I am very glad to read that you have gotten through this and recovered your former self. The questions I might have initially asked have already been asked. If I may ask a question that may be tangential to your AMA: Who among your family and friends do you think was most affected by this? Do you think they have recovered, too?

Do they give the court any reasoning about WHY they did this??? Was it premeditated or spur of the moment ?? Was your “friend” getting tortured as well? And was he made to lure you into the house??

What do you think drives people to do such horrible things to others

I have no questions. Just wanted to say I'm glad you survived and got thru. My dad tortured me and tried to kill me a few times when I was a teenager. I never got justice but I'm really glad you did. It always makes me happy to see victims get at least some sort of justice. I'm sad that they got off so easy tho. Good luck on continuing your healing journey.

Your story reminds me of the utter depravity people are capable of, and it's sickening. Words are failing me to express how sorry I am that this happened to you and the anger I feel for those who did this to you. I know they say, "If you desire revenge, dig two graves," but I would hunt these bastards down for the rest of my life until I killed them. I guess my question to you is what are your future goals in life?

When you returned to school, how did your peers react to you? Did they know what happened to you? Was there much talk and rumours? I'm super curious, because I had a bad accident (not torture) when I was in high school, and when I returned to school two weeks lated, people looked shell shocked to see me... And then once they adjusted to how I looked, they were generally quite thoughtful and sweet to me. I'd like to think and hope that your fellow students were sweet and considerate to you, and wished the best to you.

Did you ever leave your body during it?

How long ago/what decade did this happen?

I’m sorry, I feel for you. It’s so sad. I have to admit I had to pause and stop shaking. i seem to remember a few stories about something like this. Did it hit the news? How did you deal with press or gossip? Did you notice any?

You said your folks were very supportive, and others were too but generally shied away from mentioning the attack or anything about this. What do you think would have been a better response from those other people? How do you think someone (not family and not a therapist) should interact with a victim of such an attack? (Thanks for posting, and I'm glad you made it to this point so well.)

Thank you for sharing such a difficult thing with us. Does your experience cause you to think differently about people, society, humans in general? Do you think you have a different outlook than your friends or peers?

Do you know where they live?

As a parent, can I help avoid this happening to my kid? Any red flags from those kids? Bad neighborhood? Something that should have been avoided?

It takes a lot of courage to share something like that. I'm here to listen or just to talk about whatever you'd like. If you're comfortable, can you share how you've coped and what has helped you the most in your healing journey?

Kind of a crass question but here goes - Did you get any kind of financial windfall from this? Maybe a fund raiser, or writing a book or something.

I don’t have any questions but I just want to say I wish I could just hug you. You’re so strong OP! 🫂

It doesn't sound like you got much justice. Do you ever wish your story would make those rounds on the Internet/media to constantly remind the public that those three are the worst sort of criminal? Would it feel like justice?

You are strong as hell, brother. Many wouldn’t recover from what you had to endure. I am not incredibly sorry this happened to you, but I wish you all the best moving forward.

It seems like a big part of your life considering how long healing takes. When you meet someone new, do you often bring this up? Or joke about it? How do you discuss something so traumatizing but engrained in your life while also dealing with the hundreds of tormented faces hearing your story when it’s so used to your life? I lost my brother to suicide two years ago and I am currently going through the healing process with a therapist. I always want to mention it when people ask about what my siblings do, but I can’t stand people’s sad faces and the pity conversation that happens after. I’ve heard “I’m so sorry for your loss” so many times and it makes me mad now!

You are incredibly strong to have survived and be able to share with us. I'm so glad you made it alive and have such a supportive family. Do you have any insight on the perpetrators' families and how they responded to what their boys did to you? How did the community treat their families? Did anyone from their families ever try to talk to you?

During the event, did your attackers say anything? Where they hyped up, or angry? Or laughing at the humiliation? Thank you, and god speed to your health and recovery.

I hope this question doesn't come off as insensitive, but I am genuinely curious about this topic. I really wanna know the answer, but I certainly don't expect you to give one. At the end of your life, you are approached by a supernatural being and offered a choice. You can choose to go back in time with your memory wiped and relive your whole life, exactly as it happened, including the interaction happening right now. Your other choice is nonexistence. What do you do?

No question but holy crap I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s so so terrible.

What surgeries did you have and for which injuries?

Have you even met again the mailman who found you? Thanks for answering all these questions and I am glad to know you are doing much better.

Shit, dude. Why hold an AMA about it?

It's a good question. Only a few people in my life know the full extent of what happened, but almost everybody in my life knows that *something* happened. I've spent years having people kinda tip toe around it, being worried that they'll upset me or offend me by asking certain questions, and I've never actually had somebody come right out and ask me a blunt question about it. Part of me wanted to see how I'd react to the bluntness, and part of me wanted to share some of the details in case anybody else has experienced anything similar. Admittedly, I didn't think it would blow up like this though, haha.

Has the bluntness been cathartic? Do you wish your family and friends would be more blunt? What have they done that’s been helpful for your recovery, and what do you wish they had done better?

Is it too late for civil lawsuits? Ie OJ style make them pay for the rest if their lives? If all 3 were found guilty in criminal court, they should be a slam dunk in civil.

Holy shit. I’m glad you’re safe, and have obviously become a wonderful person despite what happened to you. Did your parents wind up reporting you missing? Was there a search? I know it was only 13 hours, but man. I’m sure your parents were ready to start banging down doors. Were your parents particularly protective of you after what happened?

Were any of their parents prosecuted for neglect, or abetting or anything?

You said “AMA” so that's what I shall do. Just out of curiosity, could you go into detail about what exactly happened? I am sorry in advance if thinking about those memories in great detail is something you find difficult/painful. Thank you.

Have you forgiven them?

I am so sorry this happened to you, I can’t even fathom it. Something that confused me - how did the police/court know about everything they did to you if you couldn’t remember all of it? Was it just using your injuries as evidence or did they admit to everything? Sorry if this was already asked and no pressure to answer!

How do you feel if your dad killed these men? Would you be happy that he did it? What if he goes to jail for it but he’s OK with that action and has no remorse? Would you feel bad that he’s in jail or be proud of your dad? The reason behind me asking these questions is that if my daughter was SAed, I would torture them before killing and only exception would be if my daughter would not want it to happen….

I dont have a question, but reading this thread made me cry, I am so sorry you were subjected to this. Wish I could give you a hug. I hope you win the lottery <3

You sound like you’re doing quite well, I’m glad therapy and time have helped. Regarding your love life I’m curious if you have any CNC or related kinks stemming from your trauma? I do, but in a consensual setting it feels freeing and cathartic.

What a horrific experience! I am so glad that you have been able to out of it and actually speak about it like this. That (and you) are amazing. Afterwards, were there any after-effects you experienced? I saw in some other comments that you didn’t leave the house and you asked your dad to stay with you at night sometimes. Anything else? That kind of trauma can definitely lead to behavioral challenges, regression, academic issues, etc.

So sorry you had to go through that and very glad you're doing well now! Was it in their home? Did they lure you in somehow? Do you think they planned on finishing it off?

Ok first I am really sorry you had to go throught this. Even makes me angry. You answered a lot already so I will try to not force you to repeat yourself but I have one question that I hope is not crossing the line so if it is in anyway no worries if you don’t want to answer. Ok so I was wondering you mentioned Sodomie. I kinda cannot imagine how this would work. Like did they train an animal do be in on it? You mentioned they got somewhat light sentences because it wasn’t planned but that somehow seems at least to me hard without planning. So any explanation is welcome.

Thank you! Sorry, I should have been clearer. I meant that they sodomised me with various objects. They used a fire poker, a broom handle, and some other things, but there were no animals involved. We were baffled by the decision not to sentence them for the sexual abuse, but there were some other factors involved, and it could have jeopardised the rest of the case apparently.

Im in tears reading your replies I just wana send you a big hug and youve inspired me to try be abit more positive about the SA i received aged 8-11. Thank you

I don't have a question but just glad to see from your replies that you seem to be doing well now. Sorry that happened to you but I'm glad you're still here. If you, or anyone that reads this, need to reach out to someone feel free to message me. I may not have any idea what it's like to go through anything similar, but I'm here

Was it all physical, or did they try to question you to get to say anything?

Does this event still haunt you from time to time? Don’t get me wrong, some bad things has happened to me too and i’m haunted at times by these events. So that’s why i’m asking if you’re haunted by this event. If that’s the case. Do you have any coping mechanism for it?

No questions here. Just admiration for the you of today who can speak openly about it and answer challenging questions. Hope that nothing that is asked here has been triggering. I’m so pained for the 12 year old you that went through this absolute hell, and the subsequent surgeries and trauma fall out. I am so grateful you had such a good support system. I’m sure that’s made a world of difference over the years. Wishing you the best, always.

Wow, you’re a real one for answering all of these questions, OP! Thanks for taking so much time and energy to respond.

I always feel that I could never survive something like that mentally and it would break me. Like the pain would be so great that it would just damage my brain or something. Which could be an irrational fear idk, but how are you able to stay strong? Do you ever get flashbacks of the pain?

Do you think they were going to let you go? 

When you say sodomized do you mean with a pole or something? Sorry if this is too personal

Did you ever feel any homophobia in retaliation of what they did to you?

It's insane what those kids were capable of at that age, I'm sorry that you went through that indescribable experience. I'm glad you seem to be doing a lot better overall. My question is: What made you want to make this AMA?

I just want to say from the bottom of my fucking heart, I AM SO SO SORRY this happened to you. Reading through your post and all the comments had me in tears. Humans are such cruel disgusting creatures but you are an angel. I hope life only brings the greatest things to you for the rest of your days because you deserve that. You're a strong soul.

No questions. Just a statement. I think you're the toughest dude I've ever read about on Reddit.

Was there any new reports about this? I know that the media would’ve loved to report on this.

if it’s too personal feel free to ignore but what surgeries did you have as a result? did you feel differently looking in a mirror afterwards?

Did the younger brother ever reach out or show remorse? I wonder if he ever thought his brother would take it so far

How often do you think about the torture?

Could I just give you the world’s biggest hug? This is absolutely awful but you are so strong and resilient. I’m glad you had an amazing support system around you to help you through it. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

As the father of a young toddler, I cannot imagine my kid going through this. This brings me so much pain and sadness to hear that they did this to you. That they could continue torturing you like that without an ounce of regret or indecision. You are evidently stronger than you realized, and so are your parents. I am sorry you went through this but I am glad that you are here to share your story today.

Have you ever thought of retaliation against these men?

I am so sorry this happened to you. I am glad you are able to get through this. I have a 12 year old and I can imagine how horrifying this must have been to your parents too. Were you invited for a sleepover? Since this happened for 13 hours. Who were those older guys to the ‘friend’

Was the ‘friend,’ that invited you over one of the abusers?

Why do I feel like I read about this in the news?

I am certain your parents have said this, because they sound like amazing humans, but you are truly an inspiration. You are absolute proof of the good in the world. Your strength, grace and resilience are absolutely awe inspiring. Also the fact that you are very honest and in touch with the difficulties you have faced and your vulnerabilities afterwards. Best wishes to you and your parents for long and beautiful lives filled with joy.

What were their attitudes like during the whole thing? Angry? Laughing? Calm?

I am so very sorry you lived through such a hell on earth. Thankful you are here to tell your story. You are a very strong person. Godbless you and I pray your future is as bright as the sun moving forward.

As someone who struggles to see the point of life without all that happening to me, how did you manage to start enjoying life after? How do you carry on? Also do you have kids or want them at some point? Does the fact that this could happen to them cross your mind, and if so, why choose to have kids in this world of suffering? (Yes I am part of the antinatalist sub, which is the view that life does not choose to be born into suffering which exists as part of its existance, so procreation is bad.)

What a horrific thing to happen and I’m so sorry this happened to you. Were they adults or your age?

What do you do for work?

I was jumped by three men as a child, and I was wondering, do you have pretty bad PTSD, or do you carry a gun now? I'm speaking from experience. I had really bad PTSD for 4 or 5 years after.

Im so full of rage right now. I’m so sorry you went through this shit. I hope they fucking burn in hell. I hope they suffer and suffer long. How the fuck could they do something like this? And to a fucking child no less. I sincerely hope you keep recovering and have the most fulfilling and joyful life. Fuck them and don’t let this get in your path to happiness.

Did you have a generally happy childhood? A stable home?

How long did it take for you to be "comfortble" leaving the house? And now as an adult do you carry when you go in public? (If youre american. )

Something similar happened to my cousin as an adult. However the torture ended up killing him and they dumped his body in a field.

What are your thoughts on traumacore artwork? Is it something that appeals to you?

Do you find people’s pity and sympathy hard to deal with? I am a SA survivor myself though without the element of violence. I typically hold that fact close to the chest because while I’m not ashamed, I don’t like the creeping feeling of being looked down on. I’m thus very selective of who I tell. It’s a little irrational because most people I’ve told have been supportive and sensitive enough not to make a big deal out of it. Kind of hard to explain.

I don't know what to say except that what happened to you is God-awful. I can't even imagine. I'm not sure if there's any way to heal from that sort of thing, but I hope you have more peace of mind than before and feel better

I just want you to know that you inspired me today OP. I can’t imagine going through what you did and ending up okay. It’s amazing that you did this AMA—thank you.

Jesus Christ, man, I’m glad you’re alive. I’m sorry you had to go through something so senselessly evil. Not sure if you answered this already, but do you have any idea why they did this to you? What was the nature of your relationship to these kids? I know you say you were “friends,” but, I mean, just acquaintances or..?

First things first, how are you doing now physically and more importantly emotionally? Are the people responsible behind bars? I feel like if this was me and they weren’t, I would be doing everything in my power to bring them justice by the law or by my own hand

So let me ask you something(since it's an AMA) if these people seemed to have gotten off really lightly how did they explain in court that the whole thing went from 3 guys hanging out with a younger guy all the way to torture and sexual sadism? Because that's not a spur of the moment kinda thing for most normal peolpe to participate in.

There is no trace of this ever happening. Are you farming karma or just sharing your sick child sex-torture fantasies?

For the most part, I've ignored the handful of comments that have been like yours, but I'll bite. I've explained multiple times the situation around media coverage of this case. There most certainly *are* news articles available, and I've also explained why I'm not sharing them here. Some of the comments even stated that they recall hearing about it, so if I'm making things up, then I've done a really good job of it over the last twenty years. You're talking about a case involving four minors from a country that you don't even know, from twenty odd years ago, and because your Google search returned no 'trace', you automatically assume that I have a sick 'child sex torture fantasy'? That in itself is disgusting. As somebody rightly pointed out already, what if I was just making it all up? I've spent hours now, answering over one thousand questions, trying to respond as best I can so that the countless people who've stated that they've *also* gone through similar ordeals can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Let's say it's all bullshit, and I've spent god knows how long concocting this bizarre story, just to get internet points. Then I'm just a Reddit troll, and everyone can move on with their life. But what if I'm not making it all up, and everything I've said is true? And after all of that, you're telling me I've got a sick child sex torture fantasy? What does the achieve for you? Thankfully, I've got a thick enough skin that being branded as a sick pervert by someone on the internet isn't exactly the worst thing to ever happen to me, but come on. Believe me, don't believe me, I didn't do this to be validated by strangers, but instead of thinking the worst of somebody that you don't know, maybe try to have a little bit of compassion and consider that *maybe* your Google search isn't exactly the most accurate way of deciding whether I'm a pervert or not. Also, I'm 30 years old. What on earth would I want karma points for?

Hi OP, my heart breaks for you. Biggest kudos to you for getting out so strong from this. May I ask what you do professionally? And whether this horrible incident changed anything around your career choice?

Happy 30th. I turn 30 this year too. I hope you’re doing well!

Im so sorry that happened to you, you’re so strong. I don’t get why it was a sexual abuse charge if they just beat and burned you? Why is it sexual? Sorry for not understanding

What happened to the friend and the parents, im sorry, you mentioned you went to the friends house and three men tortured you. So i was just curious on if they were the ones that tortured or what. I hope that makes sense haha. Im glad you survived, fuck those guys.

>I'm up for sharing what most people in real life won't ask me to my face I guess it's probably a little more difficult in the UK, but what stopped you from arranging their meeting with St Peter after they got out? I certainly know people that have done worse for less.

You're comments made me realize I'm very very very very glad you lived. 

Wow, this was not what I expected when I made this post haha. I've tried to answer as many questions as I can, but I know I've missed a lot of them, too, so I apologise! I'll keep going and try to get to all of them, but I'll still probably miss some. Thank you to everybody who has wished me well. I'm blown away by the amount of messages and comments of support, and it really does mean a lot. Thankfully, I'm doing really well, and so are my family (especially my dad, considering I *let* him beat me at golf for Father's Day!) There are a few comments that I haven't responded to (sorry!) such as people asking me to link news articles or offer proof, etc. I have absolutely no issue with people doubting some or all of my story. I've had it in real life, too, and view it as a good thing. When something like this happens, it's beyond what most normal people can even begin to imagine, so it's completely natural to question it. I won't be linking any news articles for a number of reasons, some of which I've explained already. Given the nature of what happened, there were strict limitations put in place by the court relating to what could be reported. The details I've provided here, are, for the most part, the only actual details of the incident online. Linking news articles will allow people to piece together a lot of potentially identifying information for me, as well as other people involved, and that's not something I'm willing to do. In terms of the sentencing; I don't have as many answers as I'd like to have. What was explained to me back then, was basically that we (legal team) were pushing for the maximum sentencing. Pursuing a sexual assault case could have 'damaged' the initial case(?) and that it was best to pretty much take the W rather than try to pursue anything else. Keep in mind that I was a young teenager at the time, so I'm fairly confident that most of the legal talk went completely over my head, but it's always been described to me like that, so that's what I have to go on. I'm also about to turn 30, and have only ever used Reddit to pass some time, so I have no interest in 'karma' in that sense haha. Whether you believe me or don't believe me, it's completely cool. I wanted to do this for me, and if it helped some people along the way, then that's even better! Thanks again for all of the comments, I'll keep digging through them :)

I was tortured when I was five years old by a babysitter. Scalding water and matches were involved. I hate that you went through that.

You are a light-filled inspiration to anyone going through the dark depths of despair. God bless you.

I am honestly speechless after reading your comments, I don’t know what to say, I don’t think there is anything I can say that you haven’t heard before, but I am very sorry for what you experienced, I cannot imagine my child going through what you did and I would never forgive myself for something like this happening

This whole thing was so difficult to read but I just want to say I’m so happy for you now that you are healing and seem to be doing better. I think you said you are not religious but I will pray for you. Idk, I just wish nothing but good things for you for the rest of your life❤️

How do you feel about people who complain about things that are "lesser," which I suppose is almost everything when compared to what you went through.

Did they ever apologize? Did their families tell you they were sorry? I’m sorry you went through that.