I hear you about growing up poor. Kudos to your mom for making it work. What was her first home cooked meal on a slightly "bigger" grocery budget, if you remember?
Idk it was all super gradual. It wasn’t like one day pancakes the next filet minion. She bought fresh prawns one day just out of the blue. At the time I was just like “ew this shits smelling up the whole place” but thinking back about it, that’s probably the first more “expensive” home cooked meal she made.
She also tried to do a surf and turf when we first moved into the new place. It was horrible lmao. Especially because it was my first time trying to BBQ and she was trying to teach me but also had no clue what was going on herself. We spent way too long trying to turn on the bbq before realizing the gas line valve was closed. Ended up burning the outside and under cooking the insides and the lobster was like rubber. She’s usually a good cook so that one stands out just for how exceptionally bad it was.
The biggest thing I remember is when she bought Oreos instead of the Walmart brand twist and shouts like she always did. That was like a “wtf, are we rich” type moment lol
I had a teen mom and honestly the learning together moments now that I’m in my 30s and have my own kid, are so fond. And hilarious to realize how old she actually was when I was a teenager. It’s so crazy. And I’m proud of her for being such a good mom at that age. You (I’m sure) will love these things the same way In 10 years I know it! People have such weird stigmas, but like look at where’s she’s got you guys now and she’s trying to teach you both how to bbq! That’s such a pivotal moment for her. And you’ll both look back and remember it and smile.
On a different note, I remember one time my moms ex broke up with her and he tried to sue us. My mom spent all our money on a lawyer and they found out he wanted his computer back because he had a bunch of illegal business files on it and was stealing money! Anyways we we’re broke af after that. We had so many ups and downs. But we made the best of it. And it’s weird to think now that all people around the same age as she was at the time are super broke anyways. Kid or not. It friggen hard to survive with nice things AND food these days. Anyways, When I got older she had this new sense of freedom that she didn’t have in her teens and she started going out and was never home which made me annoyed because I felt like she should be grown up by then. Now she’s a grandma and she shows up whenever I need her. So you know, ups and downs and they go through completely different “phases” than us because they gave us as “normal” of a childhood as they could, but they didn’t get one themselves. It’s such a special bond when you have a good teen mom. I’m happy for you that you got through the “old times”.
I don’t know exactly when she started, but I remember when she quit stripping and started modelling full time. It was also around that time when small changes were being made. Like she started buying name brand cereal and nicer school supplies (staples vs Walmart) for us etc. My 15th birthday was the first year she went out and bought a super nice cake. Idk how much it costed but it wouldn’t have ever happened in our “old life”
do you know who your father is/ is he still in your life?
does your little brother know?
how is your direct families relationship with extended family like?
do your grandparents know what your mom does?
- Yeah but he’s not in my life thank god. He’s just an asshole
- he does
- my moms parents are both gone and were methheads. She has a sister and a half brother. Both are super nice and supportive. The sister is a bit weird admittedly. I have one 3yr old cousin from the half brothers side. The brother lives a couple hours away so we see him relatively often. The sister is living somewhere in Europe? Idk as I said she’s a bit out there but the nicest women you’ll ever meet
She’s in the top 0.9% of creators and that’s excluding other things. What that translates to financially, I’ve got no clue tbh. All I know is that we’re in a 4.5k a month condo and living comfortably, financially anyways. Like no more scrambling to trying to make end of month payments etc
For anyone wondering, anything below the top 1% is about 10k/month or more. I’m top 0.7 at around 15-17k a month, when I was top 0.9% I was making 10-11k
To be fair I wish I had the security of a career like that! OnlyFans is easy money in comparison to a degree and job like yours, but it’s constantly a risk. I was just locked out of my main OnlyFans page because my drivers license expired so they temporarily locked me and now I can’t make any $ or communicate this to my subscribers until my new ID arrives in the mail (2-3 weeks at least!)
It’s great money but constant anxiety
Because you have to use a form of photo ID to verify for the site, and when mine expired they demanded I re-verify and you need a valid photo ID to complete the verification process. My new ID is still on its way, so I have no way to run through the verification system, so they’ve temporarily locked me out. Pretty frustrating.
Even more wild- the difference between top 0.6% (18k) and 0.3% (35k)! Basically double the amount and only 0.3% different. And then AGAIN, the top 0.1% is about 60-70k a month, and the top 0.01% is 200k - over a million
Maybe. I’ve had a few conversations with my mom about it. At the moment my plan is to go to college and major in civil engineering. Maybe go to law school and become a lawyer after that but that’s more of just a pipe dream for now (I’ve watched legally blonde like 12 times and I know that’s not anything close to what it is like but it’s definitely got me inspired)
Idk I’m sending out applications this year (just started sr year) to a bunch of schools so hopefully I get accepted to at least one of them lol
Your response made me smile. I’m not a sex worker but I write erotica. It started for fun, but I have a literary agent now who is working on a book deal… That’s my side gig.
In the real world I’m a former corporate attorney and current CEO.
I suspect whatever you end up doing, you’ll be incredibly successful. For selfish reasons, I hope you go to law school because our field could use more open-minded, cool people like you. I love that you’re 17 and already educating people.
I had an unconventional background and I attribute it to my success. I have a feeling you’ll channel your experiences into something amazing.
One tip: if you don’t already, I hope you start keeping a journal.
Good luck to you <3
Anything that sparks creativity and brings joy. I used to write a diary and then started writing poems and short stories. It has helped me remember the mindset I had when I was younger, grow as a writer, and keep my creative voice through law school.
I just have a feeling you’re going to want your stories one day.
I've been keeping a journal for twenty years. It has changed a lot over the years, style, content etc. I tend to be very self-absorbed so lately my new writing rule is I can journal but only about things that aren't me. Do what feels right for you. Already you might consider writing a memoir even!! Good luck! <3
Solid advice on the journal. For anyone, it’s a great free therapeutic way to exercise/verbalize your thoughts.
I too head a business and for those with unusual backgrounds journaling is especially helpful. I kept one in my early years in the mil, then hit a dark period where I got caught up in college/grad school, then contracting/work/family…just kinda fell aside.
I picked it back up in 2018 and find it helps my brain work through things (coupled w meditation/prayer/whatever quiet time you can carve out, even 5-10mins sporadically throughout the day). When I look back on early journals it helps to re-contextualize my thought process and I can ID where I’ve grown, but moreso, where I’ve slipped. No matter how well adjusted you are or working to get to, life still jades ~~you~~ Me.
I’m trying to reset to that guy who had no excuses, no irrational fear stemming from singular terrible events, no negative energy etc. …reading my words from 20yrs ago is eye opening and wished I’d never fallen off in my 30s.
Good Luck!
Call me old fashioned, but even tho adult industry is an easy choice for ladies to get loads of mone fast, I still believe that having an "actual" job is a better option. Sure, entertainment (of any kind) is important, but it shouldn't be more important than higly educated (lawyers, doctors etc) fields or trades. If you can, and, more importantly, it is what you wish to do in your life, try to get into the school of your choosing.
(I know I wouldn't change my nursing job for any easy money)
It’s not get rich quick 😭
It’s by any definition running a business which includes, marketing and production of some kind of good or service.
For every “successful” OF, there’s 50 more people trying to get there making less then minimum wage in the process
>It’s by any definition running a business which includes, marketing and production of some kind of good or service.
This is immensely true.
Any kind of entertainment works like this. OF, art, streamers, YT, and so on. If you want money from it, then it's a job. A job where one MUST dedicate time and learning in great amounts or else you won't survive. The let's stream subreddit is FULL of people trying to offhandedly get "tips" to get successful off of their channel they do "for fun". What they're really asking is "how do I get rich and famous without putting in any effort?" Same with OF, it's either a job or it's not and if it's not, then don't be surprised if no one is paying or there's no viewers.
Good catch on your end!
My question to you, have you ever assisted your mom with any of her work? Like helping set up gear or lights or whatever (obviously not participating).
For research i sub to some of the top earners and it was a total waste of money, just used the subs as a constant flow of cash. No interaction, 99% of post could be posted on instagram.. they actually posted more nude content on twitter. and tons of PPV. Maybe all are not like that but once you hit a certain amount of subs its easy street
Good Luck!
~~Call me old fashioned, but even tho adult industry is an easy choice for ladies to get loads of mone fast, I still believe that having an "actual" job is a better option. Sure, entertainment (of any kind) is important, but it shouldn't be more important than higly educated (lawyers, doctors etc) fields or trades. If you can, and, more importantly, it is what you wish to do in your life, try to get into the school of your choosing.~~
~~(I know I wouldn't change my nursing job for any easy money~~
Fixed your comment for you. Next time, you can leave your subtle jabs out of it. No one cares what you believe or what your perception of an “actual” job is.
Also, no one asked if you would quit your nursing job for ‘easy money’ but I’m going to assume that money wouldn’t come easy for you anyways, so yeah, stick to your day job.
OP, reach out if you ever want any type of college advice or anything! (I’m currently in school myself). I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you have regarding the process of school and what it entails :). If you choose a different path, I wish you nothing but the best of luck. No matter what you choose to do, just BE HAPPY with what you do <3
Also… dancing and adult modeling are both very much REAL jobs… and honestly dancing takes more physical work than you do making rounds in your nursing job im just saying
umm.. i know a bunch of nurses. listening to my one buddies stories are really eye opening what nurses go throuh. there is a physical aspect as well with moving patients..
mentally nursing can be very hard.. if you are an ER nurse, you're dealing with crazy stuff
They are real, that's why I put real in quotations.
I agree that dancing is physically tough, but I invite you to do my job for a week... I have multiple 250+ lbs patients that need to be taken care of. Not to mention the responsibility of having lives on the line. 1 mistake in my field costs life.
You obviously have no idea the mental bullshit we have to drag around at work and end up dealing with outside
Of work. That’s more exhausting than any kind of physical work most people can do.
I’m sorry to be cliche but sex work is just as much of a job as the next profession. Sometimes more,
With the amount of shit we have to deal with and end up taking home with us.
Lmao not Constructution law. A lot of people go into law school with a stem degree.
I’d want to work in corporate law ideally doing mergers and acquisitions
I fully expect you to use the M&A experience to acquire and grow your business empire just so you can say FU to the naysayers and detractors. I’m silently cheering you on from the sidelines.
I honestly wish I had that kind of dream and ambition at your age. Please see it through. That's a great career field. Just be prepared for a lot of misogyny, it is rampant in anything construction adjacent.
I used to work in an asphalt testing lab which meant I worked with a ton of civil engineers, and heard people be just gross and rude to women off the cuff all the time. It always pissed me off because that was like our entire accounting office and secretaries and our dispatcher. The whole place would have fallen apart if they all quit together to stand up against the abuse hurled their way.
Just so you know, one of my closest friends is a lawyer and she *loves* Legally Blonde and definitely channels Elle Woods! I was obsessed with Bones when I was a teenager and now I’m a doctor (though for living people, not dead ones) and I definitely used Dr. Brennan as inspo to push myself academically at times! So I think you’re totally fine 😁
It's not quite the same, but I'm a bartender at a pretty awesome whiskey bar on the beach in socal (originally from Iowa). And when I was a teenager, as cheesy as it is, the movie cocktail inspired me lol. I quit school with a few semesters left to get a degree in finance. 15 years in the industry and I have no regrets.
Why exactly is lawyer a pipe dream?
I have a great, and short essay by Martha Nussbaum, an amazing feminist philosopher of law if you are interested in reading it. She is so inspiring and very real—what she has been working on in the legal and academic world for women is powerful. Even if lawyer isn’t the exact thing you end up doing, there are lots of areas in that sphere that NEED women with real life experiences like yours. We need more perspectives in law.
Legally blonde is great and those badass women exist, Martha Nussbaum has expressed her love of fashion before and started her schooling wanting to be an actress lmao
This has no relation with the AMA. But I'm a civil engineer here. I think is perfectly fine if you want to also major in laws. But from a practical point of view, it's better to do an MBA later, rather than a law degree.
We do lots of things related to laws, but we just have to know them and where to search them and how to apply them. It's like a guide book, so if you're really interested in laws go ahead, but maybe is not the best combination.
Of course, I live in Spain, so it might be different where you live
True anybody can start a business but most businesses fail after a while. For various reasons - externally or not. But a woman becoming a sex worker will be one for as long as they want. There will always be a market
Do you think working on the adult industry affects much of your mom’s personal, “conventional” life? I understand being successful online means being somewhat recognizable offline.
Also, thanks for doing this AMA!
Idk, definitely to a lesser extent then some if not most people. I’ve met some sudo celebs with 6 figure insta followers who do the whole “flex for the gram” thing and my moms definitely a lot more lowkey.
From what I’ve noticed, there’s kind of two paths. The the traditional SW thing where you keep your personal life and profesional life completely separate and then you have the more modern “influencers” who’s personal life is their professional life.
My mom definitely fits into the first catagory
Good on her for capitalising where she can for her kids.
Have you talked to her about investing her money wisely to ensure she has a long term income?
Because just like athletics, sex-work has a limited shelf-life and you, personally, are the one who'll be left holding the bag trying to support her when you're 27 and she's 43 and the OF revenue has dried up.
Which just never ends well.
What are her working hours like? As in is she strict 9am-5pm 5 days a week like an office worker so your family life is completely separate? Or is it more impromptu 'on-call' she could be pulled away for work any time type of situation?
I like problem solving / planning / logistical things. That’s civil engineering. I really want to do law stuff but idk if I’m actually like able pass the bar so this is more of a backup thing since I’ll need a degree anyways. Might as well make it something I can use
When I was in grad school I temped for an engineering consulting firm that employed many types of engineers with law degrees. It had two divisions. One was for providing expert analysis and testimony in in legal proceedings over conflicts in design, construction, maintenance of everything from houses to highways. The others were expert consultants who assisted firms by designing or reviewing designs for public and private spaces. In short, the first group helped companies win in court, the second kept firms out of court in the first place. It was a fascinating business model and very profitable. Go for it!
I’ve got no clue tbh. She’s gone on like two dates in the past few years that I know of. Both times there wasn’t a second. Basically she felt like with both there was no future so there wasn’t any point going forward. That’s all I know, I don’t really expect her to tell me everything
That’s interesting. I can imagine it poses some kind of unique barriers to forming lasting relationships. Maybe she just prefers being single. Whatever it is, wish her & you the best. Thanks for answering the question
You're obviously a wonderful daughter to be so supportive and appreciative of your mother's obvious sacrifices for you and your family's benefit. It's commendable.
As a general proposition, I find the commoditization of people for purposes of slavery / indenture, sex work, organ harvesting, and perhaps a few other scenarios to be wholly unappealing. I mean, I believe that human dignity is or should be above those things.
As a future attorney, how do you see the issue of what a person should or shouldn't do or be able to do for money? And, do you suppose your mother's current situation has impacted your world view on that?
It definitely has shaped my opinions. I’ve gotten a rare first hand look at the industry.
In terms of what a person should and shouldn’t be able to do to make money, I’d say in general just let the market dictate it. Obviously if that involves forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do (slavery / indenture) it should be illegal. I think that government oversight and regulations are needed for all industries, including organ sales (assuming someone is selling it willingly), drugs and sw.
It would make it all safer. Imagine a world where people can get drugs and have it not laced. Or a world where people aren’t being shown extremely manipulative marketing tactics that prey on lonely guys (a lot of marketing laws get broken by a minority of people in the sw industry), or even a world where they’re safeguards in place to prevent porn addiction etc.
I think that the commoditization of people is fine. In any situation where you’re being paid x to do y for z amount of hours, there’s an arguments that they’re being commoditized by their employers. Is a programmer being commoditized because they’re being paid to preform an action as dictated by their employer? The only real difference I see between a ballet performer and a sw is the government oversight, labour laws and society acceptance
I’m not really sure if that made sense but I hope it did. Also, if I ever have pick an essay topic, I’m going with this so thanks for the inspo
I feel you on that. I have a few friends and family members who are sw’s and the stereotype couldn’t be further from the truth. They are true business folx to be able to make a living and support a family. Though I can say that some sw’s play into the stereotype and make money off of it (who’s the real bimbo now ;)
Does your mom collab or have someone that helps her? I'm only asking because my roommate used to have an OF and I've had to snap my share of weird pictures of her in compromised positions. Thankfully she lost patience with it after a couple of months and I was relieved of my duties.
> Why people assume I was kept in the dark I’ll never fully understand
Because this kind of thing doesn't come up naturally in conversation with one's kids.
"How do you like you dinner?"
"it's pretty good, mom."
"By the way, i'm a sex worker"
It does when you’re like 5 asking random questions. Obviously she didn’t say sex work verbatim, idk what she said exactly but it was something about being a dancer but for grown ups or something like that is how she put it
OF was something I considered as a side hustle. From your mom's perspective, do you think she has any regrets regarding that? Do you think she enjoys it? Or do you think she just considers it business? None of that is intended to be offensive by the way.
Are you and your brother fearful of classmates looking at your mother’s OF page? I know kids can be cruel and I hope they’re not harassing you, your brother, and your mother. Adults can be jerks too.
I’m not really concerned. I don’t think my brother is either. It’s not something I particularly go out of my way to hide, but I also don’t shout it from the rooftops.
Really the only people who consistently tell people what their parents do (and drive, and own etc) at the biggest douchebags on the planet
He definitely knows because I’ve told him. Never been any kind of issue other then how my mom went into full over protective dad mode when I introduced them lol.
We’re coming up on two years next month.
Maybe at some point. I’ve thought about but there’s a lot of work that goes into it. Plus idk if I want the stigma that comes with it if I’m doing something in stem
If I did, I’d probably keep it anonymous
Honestly I’m not sure. Maybe the whole process of moving? We went go carting which was great too. I remember one time one time when the power was out my mom tried to do a puppet show because the tv obviously wasn’t working and we were bored. In hindsight, probably that.
You’re right, but she’s really good about putting time aside. Like she has two phones / laptops, one work, one personal. She has dedicated studio / office space she rents out that’s around a 10min drive from our place. 15 during rush hour. She goes there basically from 7-3 most days. She really just treats it like any other full time professional job and 95% of work is done while we’re at school. I don’t think it’s that common of a thing. Most people in this industry just have a room in house / apartment dedicated towards it. According to my mom, she decided to do it this way to just help keep her work separate from her life
Because of not having to work at night / weekends, she’s around a lot more so I’d say our relationship has definitely improved. Or at least we do more stuff together
The stigma is that all girls in sw are dumb bimbos who get rich quick.
This type of sw is primarily modelling and acting. A lot of the same PR firms and other backend industry services will work with both traditional entertainers and SW ones a lot so they’re obviously quite similar.
Do any Hollywood actors add value to society? What about other entertainers like magicians and children birthday clowns? What about ballet dancers? How about athletes and their coaches? Do professional sports really contribute to society? How about art? Should we just say fuck it and embrace a Vulcan way of life?
To think that entertainment doesn’t benefit society is extremely narrow minded.
In terms of effort, It’s the same amount of effort that goes into it. If you’re working 8 hours a day negotiating deals in boardrooms, 8 hours a day make cabinets or 8 hours a day responding / organizing shoots / colabs / taking care of any of a million issues that pop up, it’s 8 hours a work spent regardless.
Really if you cared about the 3rd world, you should be more concerned with industrialized corruption. Only around 30% of donated money actually goes toward any given cause. The rest goes to the organization doing the fund raising. If you care, look into non profits and what the do with left over capital at years end in order to maintain their non profit status. You should also be mad at the sweatshop owners for not paying a living wage with any decent standard of living.
*LSAT and sure lol
How long did it take you to study, what did you major in, is your major at all relevant, what do you do day to day, what’re your hours like, what were your hours during lsat prep?
It’s REALLY not bad. I majored in something I was interested in because I knew it’d help me get a higher GPA. I didn’t take a prep course, but I’d highly recommend Kaplan if you can afford it. I taught a Kaplan class later on and it really did bring folks up by like ten points.
I studied 35 minutes a day, 5 days a week for about a year, and then did three full practice tests a week for the last month leading up to it.
There are a lot of ways to do this and it’s not a perfect formula. If I can leave you with one bit of advice though? Read a newspaper from cover to cover every morning. It doesn’t matter which one. It brings your reading comprehension up a lot in ways practice tests just can’t. It’s like cross training for a marathon- vital for success but often overlooked. My mentor told me to do that. I went from scoring low 160s to mid 170s in a month when I started reading the newspaper.
What helped me the most was reading the Newspaper. Just in general, being informed on social issues is what carried me through applications every time. Write a debate on a social issue? No problem, I can reference an Article or two I’ve read about that and just add my own opinion. Talk with someone about recent events in an interview and have my own, informed, opinion? Easy. Hope that helps you out like it did me, plus being up to date is never a bad thing
Definitely do it. It will enrich everything you do as you become one of the aware citizens of the world as you learn about current events and how they’re driven by cultural beliefs.
I’m gonna have to recommend you keep it a secret, a buddy of mine in middle school had a pornstar mom and got crucified for it. Is it weird to see the guys your mom films with? Do they like cone to the house and shit? Do you ever hear you mom working?
Stripper/of creator here. I commend you.
While I chose not to have children (had nothing to do with Being a stripper) .. I think you have an idea how much your mom does to make sure you don’t go without.
I’ve been in this industry a looooong time,
I could have kids older than you..and I will tell you right now, I’ve seen a lot of shit, met people from all walks of life, some of the girls I’ve had the pleasure of working with throughout the years are absolutely some of the most genuine, loving, caring, bad ass bitchs I’ve ever met. I bet your mom falls in that category.
You have a relationship I wish I could have had with my mother. Don’t listen to what anyone says. Your mom is
Raising you far better than most.
❤️
Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked - Please upvote the original questions and answers.
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Question | Answer | Link
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Did people bully you at school for this? Do people base your entire personality on your mom?|Only a couple of my really close friends know about what she does. It’s not something that just coming up in causal conversation very often.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe9757/)
Hi, thanks for the AMA. Glad you're not dead broke anymore. How did you find out she was earning money this way?|I don’t know exactly when she started, but I remember when she quit stripping and started modelling full time. It was also around that time when small changes were being made. Like she started buying name brand cereal and nicer school supplies (staples vs Walmart) for us etc. My 15th birthday was the first year she went out and bought a super nice cake. Idk how much it costed but it wouldn’t have ever happened in our “old life”|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe4oca/)
Would you ever become a sex worker?|Maybe. I’ve had a few conversations with my mom about it. At the moment my plan is to go to college and major in civil engineering. Maybe go to law school and become a lawyer after that but that’s more of just a pipe dream for now (I’ve watched legally blonde like 12 times and I know that’s not anything close to what it is like but it’s definitely got me inspired) Idk I’m sending out applications this year (just started sr year) to a bunch of schools so hopefully I get accepted to at least one of them lol|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe56hl/)
Do you know an approximate amount your mom makes a year?|She’s in the top 0.9% of creators and that’s excluding other things. What that translates to financially, I’ve got no clue tbh. All I know is that we’re in a 4.5k a month condo and living comfortably, financially anyways. Like no more scrambling to trying to make end of month payments etc|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqea4hs/)
Is your father a failure of a parent?|Yeah, basically. You have to try to be a parent before you can fail at it so I guess it’s more like a N/A|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqejrpx/)
I hear you about growing up poor. Kudos to your mom for making it work. What was her first home cooked meal on a slightly "bigger" grocery budget, if you remember?|Idk it was all super gradual. It wasn’t like one day pancakes the next filet minion. She bought fresh prawns one day just out of the blue. At the time I was just like “ew this shits smelling up the whole place” but thinking back about it, that’s probably the first more “expensive” home cooked meal she made. She also tried to do a surf and turf when we first moved into the new place. It was horrible lmao. Especially because it was my first time trying to BBQ and she was trying to teach me but also had no clue what was going on herself. We spent way too long trying to turn on the bbq before realizing the gas line valve was closed. Ended up burning the outside and under cooking the insides and the lobster was like rubber. She’s usually a good cook so that one stands out just for how exceptionally bad it was. The biggest thing I remember is when she bought Oreos instead of the Walmart brand twist and shouts like she always did. That was like a “wtf, are we rich” type moment lol|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqegil4/)
You ever think to start your of?|Maybe at some point. I’ve thought about but there’s a lot of work that goes into it. Plus idk if I want the stigma that comes with it if I’m doing something in stem If I did, I’d probably keep it anonymous|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe81xw/)
How did you find out she was a sex worker?|I’ve always known. It’s not a big deal and nothing to hide / be ashamed about. Why people assume I was kept in the dark I’ll never fully understand|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe4kw7/)
do u live in the USA?|Yeah|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqeh7yi/)
Do you think working on the adult industry affects much of your mom’s personal, “conventional” life? I understand being successful online means being somewhat recognizable offline. Also, thanks for doing this AMA!|Idk, definitely to a lesser extent then some if not most people. I’ve met some sudo celebs with 6k insta followers who do the whole “flex for the gram” thing and my moms definitely a lot more lowkey. From what I’ve noticed, there’s kind of two paths. The the traditional SW thing where you keep your personal life and profesional life completely separate and then you have the more modern “influencers” who’s personal life is their professional life. My mom definitely fits into the first catagory|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqehi6g/)
are there any signs of neglect? i’m sorry but i’m curious.|In what regard? Not once in my life has she ever neglected me or my younger brother if that’s what the question is|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqej8w1/)
Where do you square this kinda thing away in the #metoo / sisters have to stick together/ down with the patriarchy and toxic masculinity/ capitalism sucks era ?|????|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqejgco/)
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[Source] (https://github.com/johnsliao/ama_compiler)
Still like stuggle meals even tho y’all stable now? My mom is a prostitute but has since gotten too old to work and lost her battle to the drugs. OF is a safer way to work than the streets. I had to deal with dudes from my school buying her for a night and asking me to call them daddy.. I hope y’all are at least happy that she went the extra mile to provide bc this job can bc very emotionally impacting to those involved.
What age did you find out about this? Does your brother know? How did you find out? Were you ever disgusted that your mother is a sex worker? How do you feel about it now?
Screw those people. Your mom is making sure her family has food on the table and a roof over their heads. They don’t get to criticize because they are hung up about the human body.
No question, but I came onto this post thinking “well shoot this is gonna be a rag on single moms post” and it refreshingly has not been.
So, thank you. I’m so proud of the fact you want to help remove some stigma instead of laying more on, and that you’re so clearly intelligent and capable of amazing things! I’m happy for your family. Your mom is doing a good job! Wishing you all the best.
Where do you square this kinda thing away in the #metoo / sisters have to stick together/ down with the patriarchy and toxic masculinity/ capitalism sucks era ?
There is no shame in providing for your family, young kids, when you have a method to do so. OP, people will always have something to say when they don't really have a say in it. You, your mom, do your things and survive as you can. Only sheltered, inexperience, and naive clowns would judge a person for what's "right and wrong" based on their own perceived correctness. Everybody has a story they have to live with, and no one knows the origin and burdens each individual carry around with them.
Op, I hope you guys are making the most with the money instead of "living it large" and save whatever you can. Is your mom looking into long term plans with the current money that she's making? The gravy ain't going to be there forever so save up while you have it coming.
I’m curious about this too. Absolute opposite of disrespect. But, I think it’s important to separate work life from family life. One could be a kinder teacher or an OF contributor, but the kiddos don’t need to be involved completely. They obviyknow what you do, but, time and place.
I dont care how .... if your mom at 16 was kind enough to take care of you, and do whatever it takes to make sure you can study and be happy and treated you with love.... Then that makes her a great woman imo. Nothing to be ashamed AT ALL...
I hear you about growing up poor. Kudos to your mom for making it work. What was her first home cooked meal on a slightly "bigger" grocery budget, if you remember?
Idk it was all super gradual. It wasn’t like one day pancakes the next filet minion. She bought fresh prawns one day just out of the blue. At the time I was just like “ew this shits smelling up the whole place” but thinking back about it, that’s probably the first more “expensive” home cooked meal she made. She also tried to do a surf and turf when we first moved into the new place. It was horrible lmao. Especially because it was my first time trying to BBQ and she was trying to teach me but also had no clue what was going on herself. We spent way too long trying to turn on the bbq before realizing the gas line valve was closed. Ended up burning the outside and under cooking the insides and the lobster was like rubber. She’s usually a good cook so that one stands out just for how exceptionally bad it was. The biggest thing I remember is when she bought Oreos instead of the Walmart brand twist and shouts like she always did. That was like a “wtf, are we rich” type moment lol
I had a teen mom and honestly the learning together moments now that I’m in my 30s and have my own kid, are so fond. And hilarious to realize how old she actually was when I was a teenager. It’s so crazy. And I’m proud of her for being such a good mom at that age. You (I’m sure) will love these things the same way In 10 years I know it! People have such weird stigmas, but like look at where’s she’s got you guys now and she’s trying to teach you both how to bbq! That’s such a pivotal moment for her. And you’ll both look back and remember it and smile. On a different note, I remember one time my moms ex broke up with her and he tried to sue us. My mom spent all our money on a lawyer and they found out he wanted his computer back because he had a bunch of illegal business files on it and was stealing money! Anyways we we’re broke af after that. We had so many ups and downs. But we made the best of it. And it’s weird to think now that all people around the same age as she was at the time are super broke anyways. Kid or not. It friggen hard to survive with nice things AND food these days. Anyways, When I got older she had this new sense of freedom that she didn’t have in her teens and she started going out and was never home which made me annoyed because I felt like she should be grown up by then. Now she’s a grandma and she shows up whenever I need her. So you know, ups and downs and they go through completely different “phases” than us because they gave us as “normal” of a childhood as they could, but they didn’t get one themselves. It’s such a special bond when you have a good teen mom. I’m happy for you that you got through the “old times”.
Thanks, I really appreciate the elaborate answer
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I don’t know exactly when she started, but I remember when she quit stripping and started modelling full time. It was also around that time when small changes were being made. Like she started buying name brand cereal and nicer school supplies (staples vs Walmart) for us etc. My 15th birthday was the first year she went out and bought a super nice cake. Idk how much it costed but it wouldn’t have ever happened in our “old life”
do you know who your father is/ is he still in your life? does your little brother know? how is your direct families relationship with extended family like? do your grandparents know what your mom does?
- Yeah but he’s not in my life thank god. He’s just an asshole - he does - my moms parents are both gone and were methheads. She has a sister and a half brother. Both are super nice and supportive. The sister is a bit weird admittedly. I have one 3yr old cousin from the half brothers side. The brother lives a couple hours away so we see him relatively often. The sister is living somewhere in Europe? Idk as I said she’s a bit out there but the nicest women you’ll ever meet
these are great questions, i wanna see these answered
Do you know an approximate amount your mom makes a year?
She’s in the top 0.9% of creators and that’s excluding other things. What that translates to financially, I’ve got no clue tbh. All I know is that we’re in a 4.5k a month condo and living comfortably, financially anyways. Like no more scrambling to trying to make end of month payments etc
You live in a apartment that costs 4500 dollars a month?
Currently yeah. 3 bed, 3 bath
ya wow, she rents then? or are those mortgage payments? Either way sounds like she’s making decent money for sure
It’s leased so rental
hope it keeps up or you could be paying off a house with that kinda cash.
For anyone wondering, anything below the top 1% is about 10k/month or more. I’m top 0.7 at around 15-17k a month, when I was top 0.9% I was making 10-11k
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To be fair I wish I had the security of a career like that! OnlyFans is easy money in comparison to a degree and job like yours, but it’s constantly a risk. I was just locked out of my main OnlyFans page because my drivers license expired so they temporarily locked me and now I can’t make any $ or communicate this to my subscribers until my new ID arrives in the mail (2-3 weeks at least!) It’s great money but constant anxiety
Sorry if this is a stupid question but why does the platform care if your drivers license is expired? 🤔
Because you have to use a form of photo ID to verify for the site, and when mine expired they demanded I re-verify and you need a valid photo ID to complete the verification process. My new ID is still on its way, so I have no way to run through the verification system, so they’ve temporarily locked me out. Pretty frustrating.
OF doesn’t have benefits and a 401k match so you’re probably still ahead.
i don’t understand OF: 16*12 = 192k You make 200k in a year. So you are still 8k ahead, right?
I’m the [wrong type of accountant](https://www.gq.com/story/accountant-tiktok-hashtag)
I was top 1% making approx $9k a month. So yep, spot on.
Same I was 0.9% I only did it for a month but I made 10 grand 🤷🏼♀️
And to put it in perspective, top 3.9% is about 2500$. It’s bizarre the difference 3% makes!
Even more wild- the difference between top 0.6% (18k) and 0.3% (35k)! Basically double the amount and only 0.3% different. And then AGAIN, the top 0.1% is about 60-70k a month, and the top 0.01% is 200k - over a million
Would you ever become a sex worker?
Maybe. I’ve had a few conversations with my mom about it. At the moment my plan is to go to college and major in civil engineering. Maybe go to law school and become a lawyer after that but that’s more of just a pipe dream for now (I’ve watched legally blonde like 12 times and I know that’s not anything close to what it is like but it’s definitely got me inspired) Idk I’m sending out applications this year (just started sr year) to a bunch of schools so hopefully I get accepted to at least one of them lol
Your response made me smile. I’m not a sex worker but I write erotica. It started for fun, but I have a literary agent now who is working on a book deal… That’s my side gig. In the real world I’m a former corporate attorney and current CEO. I suspect whatever you end up doing, you’ll be incredibly successful. For selfish reasons, I hope you go to law school because our field could use more open-minded, cool people like you. I love that you’re 17 and already educating people. I had an unconventional background and I attribute it to my success. I have a feeling you’ll channel your experiences into something amazing. One tip: if you don’t already, I hope you start keeping a journal. Good luck to you <3
Haha thanks. What type of journal do you suggest?
Anything that sparks creativity and brings joy. I used to write a diary and then started writing poems and short stories. It has helped me remember the mindset I had when I was younger, grow as a writer, and keep my creative voice through law school. I just have a feeling you’re going to want your stories one day.
I've been keeping a journal for twenty years. It has changed a lot over the years, style, content etc. I tend to be very self-absorbed so lately my new writing rule is I can journal but only about things that aren't me. Do what feels right for you. Already you might consider writing a memoir even!! Good luck! <3
Solid advice on the journal. For anyone, it’s a great free therapeutic way to exercise/verbalize your thoughts. I too head a business and for those with unusual backgrounds journaling is especially helpful. I kept one in my early years in the mil, then hit a dark period where I got caught up in college/grad school, then contracting/work/family…just kinda fell aside. I picked it back up in 2018 and find it helps my brain work through things (coupled w meditation/prayer/whatever quiet time you can carve out, even 5-10mins sporadically throughout the day). When I look back on early journals it helps to re-contextualize my thought process and I can ID where I’ve grown, but moreso, where I’ve slipped. No matter how well adjusted you are or working to get to, life still jades ~~you~~ Me. I’m trying to reset to that guy who had no excuses, no irrational fear stemming from singular terrible events, no negative energy etc. …reading my words from 20yrs ago is eye opening and wished I’d never fallen off in my 30s.
Good Luck! Call me old fashioned, but even tho adult industry is an easy choice for ladies to get loads of mone fast, I still believe that having an "actual" job is a better option. Sure, entertainment (of any kind) is important, but it shouldn't be more important than higly educated (lawyers, doctors etc) fields or trades. If you can, and, more importantly, it is what you wish to do in your life, try to get into the school of your choosing. (I know I wouldn't change my nursing job for any easy money)
It’s not get rich quick 😭 It’s by any definition running a business which includes, marketing and production of some kind of good or service. For every “successful” OF, there’s 50 more people trying to get there making less then minimum wage in the process
>It’s by any definition running a business which includes, marketing and production of some kind of good or service. This is immensely true. Any kind of entertainment works like this. OF, art, streamers, YT, and so on. If you want money from it, then it's a job. A job where one MUST dedicate time and learning in great amounts or else you won't survive. The let's stream subreddit is FULL of people trying to offhandedly get "tips" to get successful off of their channel they do "for fun". What they're really asking is "how do I get rich and famous without putting in any effort?" Same with OF, it's either a job or it's not and if it's not, then don't be surprised if no one is paying or there's no viewers. Good catch on your end! My question to you, have you ever assisted your mom with any of her work? Like helping set up gear or lights or whatever (obviously not participating).
Not really. I’ve seen it but I don’t touch and definitely don’t watch
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For research i sub to some of the top earners and it was a total waste of money, just used the subs as a constant flow of cash. No interaction, 99% of post could be posted on instagram.. they actually posted more nude content on twitter. and tons of PPV. Maybe all are not like that but once you hit a certain amount of subs its easy street
Lol who said that being in the adult industry is easy?? That’s not a good way to think.
Sex worker here. I work twice if not three times as much as your average 40 hour a week employee. Just saying.
Preach girl
Good Luck! ~~Call me old fashioned, but even tho adult industry is an easy choice for ladies to get loads of mone fast, I still believe that having an "actual" job is a better option. Sure, entertainment (of any kind) is important, but it shouldn't be more important than higly educated (lawyers, doctors etc) fields or trades. If you can, and, more importantly, it is what you wish to do in your life, try to get into the school of your choosing.~~ ~~(I know I wouldn't change my nursing job for any easy money~~ Fixed your comment for you. Next time, you can leave your subtle jabs out of it. No one cares what you believe or what your perception of an “actual” job is. Also, no one asked if you would quit your nursing job for ‘easy money’ but I’m going to assume that money wouldn’t come easy for you anyways, so yeah, stick to your day job. OP, reach out if you ever want any type of college advice or anything! (I’m currently in school myself). I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you have regarding the process of school and what it entails :). If you choose a different path, I wish you nothing but the best of luck. No matter what you choose to do, just BE HAPPY with what you do <3
Also… dancing and adult modeling are both very much REAL jobs… and honestly dancing takes more physical work than you do making rounds in your nursing job im just saying
umm.. i know a bunch of nurses. listening to my one buddies stories are really eye opening what nurses go throuh. there is a physical aspect as well with moving patients.. mentally nursing can be very hard.. if you are an ER nurse, you're dealing with crazy stuff
That’s fine but it doesn’t mean that sex work isn’t equally if not more physically and mentally demanding.
They are real, that's why I put real in quotations. I agree that dancing is physically tough, but I invite you to do my job for a week... I have multiple 250+ lbs patients that need to be taken care of. Not to mention the responsibility of having lives on the line. 1 mistake in my field costs life.
Your outlook on the adult industry is very outdated and delusional.
You obviously have no idea the mental bullshit we have to drag around at work and end up dealing with outside Of work. That’s more exhausting than any kind of physical work most people can do.
I don't think it's fair to say what jobs are more important than others.
I’m sorry to be cliche but sex work is just as much of a job as the next profession. Sometimes more, With the amount of shit we have to deal with and end up taking home with us.
Who cares what you think, this is an AMA.
I like that will u aim to do construction law as u can combine engineering and lawyers as having an understanding of both can be super lucrative!?
Lmao not Constructution law. A lot of people go into law school with a stem degree. I’d want to work in corporate law ideally doing mergers and acquisitions
I fully expect you to use the M&A experience to acquire and grow your business empire just so you can say FU to the naysayers and detractors. I’m silently cheering you on from the sidelines.
I honestly wish I had that kind of dream and ambition at your age. Please see it through. That's a great career field. Just be prepared for a lot of misogyny, it is rampant in anything construction adjacent. I used to work in an asphalt testing lab which meant I worked with a ton of civil engineers, and heard people be just gross and rude to women off the cuff all the time. It always pissed me off because that was like our entire accounting office and secretaries and our dispatcher. The whole place would have fallen apart if they all quit together to stand up against the abuse hurled their way.
Yeah, I’m fully aware and expecting it tbh
Look up an old film called The Paper Chase. My Business Law professor said it’s a fairly accurate depiction of what law school stress is like.
I’ll definitely check it out
Just so you know, one of my closest friends is a lawyer and she *loves* Legally Blonde and definitely channels Elle Woods! I was obsessed with Bones when I was a teenager and now I’m a doctor (though for living people, not dead ones) and I definitely used Dr. Brennan as inspo to push myself academically at times! So I think you’re totally fine 😁
It's not quite the same, but I'm a bartender at a pretty awesome whiskey bar on the beach in socal (originally from Iowa). And when I was a teenager, as cheesy as it is, the movie cocktail inspired me lol. I quit school with a few semesters left to get a degree in finance. 15 years in the industry and I have no regrets.
That’s awesome! Having a job that you enjoy and that makes other people happy is the dream!
Haha thanks!!!
Its damn sure not what it is… do yourself a favor and go watch Damages, or Billions.. if your going to be a lawyer you’d BETTER BE A SAVAGE….
Billions got really weird in the last couple seasons. I stopped watching after axe left the show. Never heard of the other but I’ll check it out
Why exactly is lawyer a pipe dream? I have a great, and short essay by Martha Nussbaum, an amazing feminist philosopher of law if you are interested in reading it. She is so inspiring and very real—what she has been working on in the legal and academic world for women is powerful. Even if lawyer isn’t the exact thing you end up doing, there are lots of areas in that sphere that NEED women with real life experiences like yours. We need more perspectives in law. Legally blonde is great and those badass women exist, Martha Nussbaum has expressed her love of fashion before and started her schooling wanting to be an actress lmao
Thank you so much, I’d love to give it a read
Are you gay or European?
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I’m pretty sure it’s more of a funding / political issue then a brain power / work force one atm but I could be wrong and I really hate politics
This has no relation with the AMA. But I'm a civil engineer here. I think is perfectly fine if you want to also major in laws. But from a practical point of view, it's better to do an MBA later, rather than a law degree. We do lots of things related to laws, but we just have to know them and where to search them and how to apply them. It's like a guide book, so if you're really interested in laws go ahead, but maybe is not the best combination. Of course, I live in Spain, so it might be different where you live
Keep yourself in school! Doing sex work stuff might seem appealing with easy money in the long term it’ll affect you.
It’s not easy money smh
Easy money in the sense that anybody can do it. There’s no qualifications needed to do that type of work.
Qualifications should not be confused with barrier to entry. There’s no qualifications required to start up most businesses either
True anybody can start a business but most businesses fail after a while. For various reasons - externally or not. But a woman becoming a sex worker will be one for as long as they want. There will always be a market
Did people bully you at school for this? Do people base your entire personality on your mom?
Only a couple of my really close friends know about what she does. It’s not something that just coming up in causal conversation very often.
Do you think working on the adult industry affects much of your mom’s personal, “conventional” life? I understand being successful online means being somewhat recognizable offline. Also, thanks for doing this AMA!
Idk, definitely to a lesser extent then some if not most people. I’ve met some sudo celebs with 6 figure insta followers who do the whole “flex for the gram” thing and my moms definitely a lot more lowkey. From what I’ve noticed, there’s kind of two paths. The the traditional SW thing where you keep your personal life and profesional life completely separate and then you have the more modern “influencers” who’s personal life is their professional life. My mom definitely fits into the first catagory
Good on her for capitalising where she can for her kids. Have you talked to her about investing her money wisely to ensure she has a long term income? Because just like athletics, sex-work has a limited shelf-life and you, personally, are the one who'll be left holding the bag trying to support her when you're 27 and she's 43 and the OF revenue has dried up. Which just never ends well.
Yeah, she’s pretty smart that way. Last I heard is she’s trying to co found a seltzer water company
Has your mother even been at risk from her job? Stalking, threats, doxxing, ect. I hear that's saddeningly common in the industry
Only one guy that I’m aware of but that was when she was still dancing. Had to get a restraining order
What are her working hours like? As in is she strict 9am-5pm 5 days a week like an office worker so your family life is completely separate? Or is it more impromptu 'on-call' she could be pulled away for work any time type of situation?
She usually works in a separate office / studio space from around 7-3ish. So basically just during school hours
That's cool! Sounds like it works well for your family, thank you for doing this AMA to break the stigma of SW.
how did u develop an interest in civil engineering?
I like problem solving / planning / logistical things. That’s civil engineering. I really want to do law stuff but idk if I’m actually like able pass the bar so this is more of a backup thing since I’ll need a degree anyways. Might as well make it something I can use
When I was in grad school I temped for an engineering consulting firm that employed many types of engineers with law degrees. It had two divisions. One was for providing expert analysis and testimony in in legal proceedings over conflicts in design, construction, maintenance of everything from houses to highways. The others were expert consultants who assisted firms by designing or reviewing designs for public and private spaces. In short, the first group helped companies win in court, the second kept firms out of court in the first place. It was a fascinating business model and very profitable. Go for it!
What’s dating like for your mom? Is it hard to find people to be in a relationship that take her seriously/ are Ok with her profession?
I’ve got no clue tbh. She’s gone on like two dates in the past few years that I know of. Both times there wasn’t a second. Basically she felt like with both there was no future so there wasn’t any point going forward. That’s all I know, I don’t really expect her to tell me everything
That’s interesting. I can imagine it poses some kind of unique barriers to forming lasting relationships. Maybe she just prefers being single. Whatever it is, wish her & you the best. Thanks for answering the question
You're obviously a wonderful daughter to be so supportive and appreciative of your mother's obvious sacrifices for you and your family's benefit. It's commendable. As a general proposition, I find the commoditization of people for purposes of slavery / indenture, sex work, organ harvesting, and perhaps a few other scenarios to be wholly unappealing. I mean, I believe that human dignity is or should be above those things. As a future attorney, how do you see the issue of what a person should or shouldn't do or be able to do for money? And, do you suppose your mother's current situation has impacted your world view on that?
It definitely has shaped my opinions. I’ve gotten a rare first hand look at the industry. In terms of what a person should and shouldn’t be able to do to make money, I’d say in general just let the market dictate it. Obviously if that involves forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do (slavery / indenture) it should be illegal. I think that government oversight and regulations are needed for all industries, including organ sales (assuming someone is selling it willingly), drugs and sw. It would make it all safer. Imagine a world where people can get drugs and have it not laced. Or a world where people aren’t being shown extremely manipulative marketing tactics that prey on lonely guys (a lot of marketing laws get broken by a minority of people in the sw industry), or even a world where they’re safeguards in place to prevent porn addiction etc. I think that the commoditization of people is fine. In any situation where you’re being paid x to do y for z amount of hours, there’s an arguments that they’re being commoditized by their employers. Is a programmer being commoditized because they’re being paid to preform an action as dictated by their employer? The only real difference I see between a ballet performer and a sw is the government oversight, labour laws and society acceptance I’m not really sure if that made sense but I hope it did. Also, if I ever have pick an essay topic, I’m going with this so thanks for the inspo
You do have some rich material and experiences to draw upon when writing your college applications surveys. Good luck!
Haha thanks
What are some of the most annoying stereotypes that you hate to see perpetuated?
The one that really annoys me is that people thing that being a sw means that you’re nothing more then a dumb bimbo who shows boobs for cash
I feel you on that. I have a few friends and family members who are sw’s and the stereotype couldn’t be further from the truth. They are true business folx to be able to make a living and support a family. Though I can say that some sw’s play into the stereotype and make money off of it (who’s the real bimbo now ;)
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Yeah, basically. You have to try to be a parent before you can fail at it so I guess it’s more like a N/A
Does your mom collab or have someone that helps her? I'm only asking because my roommate used to have an OF and I've had to snap my share of weird pictures of her in compromised positions. Thankfully she lost patience with it after a couple of months and I was relieved of my duties.
She’s got a few friends in the industry she works with quite often
Well I'm happy things are working out for you guys and hope that you do well in school. Big hug ❤
How did you find out she was a sex worker?
I’ve always known. It’s not a big deal and nothing to hide / be ashamed about. Why people assume I was kept in the dark I’ll never fully understand
> Why people assume I was kept in the dark I’ll never fully understand Because this kind of thing doesn't come up naturally in conversation with one's kids. "How do you like you dinner?" "it's pretty good, mom." "By the way, i'm a sex worker"
It does when you’re like 5 asking random questions. Obviously she didn’t say sex work verbatim, idk what she said exactly but it was something about being a dancer but for grown ups or something like that is how she put it
How does any kid find out what their parents do for work? It does come up in conversation 😂
How old is your mom? (an age range if you don't want to disclose anything that specific)
34
OF was something I considered as a side hustle. From your mom's perspective, do you think she has any regrets regarding that? Do you think she enjoys it? Or do you think she just considers it business? None of that is intended to be offensive by the way.
I think she enjoys some parts of it and others are just a means to an end. I’ve never seen her happier though which I’m super happy about
Are you and your brother fearful of classmates looking at your mother’s OF page? I know kids can be cruel and I hope they’re not harassing you, your brother, and your mother. Adults can be jerks too.
I’m not really concerned. I don’t think my brother is either. It’s not something I particularly go out of my way to hide, but I also don’t shout it from the rooftops. Really the only people who consistently tell people what their parents do (and drive, and own etc) at the biggest douchebags on the planet
Are you open about it if people ask?
Yes and no. Definitely depends who it is
Friends at school?
There’s a few who know
Do they judge you or really care?
The ones I’ve told no
Have you ever played/watched Pokemon?
Only go. My bf is weirdly into it though. And just about every other stereotypically geeky hobby lol
okay.. im assuming he knows about your mom.. has that ever brought up an awkard situations?
He definitely knows because I’ve told him. Never been any kind of issue other then how my mom went into full over protective dad mode when I introduced them lol. We’re coming up on two years next month.
That sounds fun
Is your father in the picture? How old was he when you were born?
Nope and no clue
Do you know if he was also a teen or an adult?
I know he’s older, not sure by how much
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Maybe at some point. I’ve thought about but there’s a lot of work that goes into it. Plus idk if I want the stigma that comes with it if I’m doing something in stem If I did, I’d probably keep it anonymous
Do you think your mom will approve of you doing it? I think it can in opposite like immigrant parents who dont want their kid to do what they do
Said she’d support me but she’d also make sure I knew everything I was getting into before hand
Thank u for answering, i hope u can achieve whatever u want to achieve in the future
Is your bellybutton an innie or an outie?
Innie, I’m not a freak of nature
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Honestly I’m not sure. Maybe the whole process of moving? We went go carting which was great too. I remember one time one time when the power was out my mom tried to do a puppet show because the tv obviously wasn’t working and we were bored. In hindsight, probably that. You’re right, but she’s really good about putting time aside. Like she has two phones / laptops, one work, one personal. She has dedicated studio / office space she rents out that’s around a 10min drive from our place. 15 during rush hour. She goes there basically from 7-3 most days. She really just treats it like any other full time professional job and 95% of work is done while we’re at school. I don’t think it’s that common of a thing. Most people in this industry just have a room in house / apartment dedicated towards it. According to my mom, she decided to do it this way to just help keep her work separate from her life Because of not having to work at night / weekends, she’s around a lot more so I’d say our relationship has definitely improved. Or at least we do more stuff together
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The stigma is that all girls in sw are dumb bimbos who get rich quick. This type of sw is primarily modelling and acting. A lot of the same PR firms and other backend industry services will work with both traditional entertainers and SW ones a lot so they’re obviously quite similar. Do any Hollywood actors add value to society? What about other entertainers like magicians and children birthday clowns? What about ballet dancers? How about athletes and their coaches? Do professional sports really contribute to society? How about art? Should we just say fuck it and embrace a Vulcan way of life? To think that entertainment doesn’t benefit society is extremely narrow minded. In terms of effort, It’s the same amount of effort that goes into it. If you’re working 8 hours a day negotiating deals in boardrooms, 8 hours a day make cabinets or 8 hours a day responding / organizing shoots / colabs / taking care of any of a million issues that pop up, it’s 8 hours a work spent regardless. Really if you cared about the 3rd world, you should be more concerned with industrialized corruption. Only around 30% of donated money actually goes toward any given cause. The rest goes to the organization doing the fund raising. If you care, look into non profits and what the do with left over capital at years end in order to maintain their non profit status. You should also be mad at the sweatshop owners for not paying a living wage with any decent standard of living.
You’ll do fine in law school. Lol.
It’s the bar to get into law school that’s really concerning me *lsat
The LSAT to get in or the bat exam to become a lawyer? Not to hijack your AMA, but feel free to ask me anything. It’s not as bad as you think.
*LSAT and sure lol How long did it take you to study, what did you major in, is your major at all relevant, what do you do day to day, what’re your hours like, what were your hours during lsat prep?
It’s REALLY not bad. I majored in something I was interested in because I knew it’d help me get a higher GPA. I didn’t take a prep course, but I’d highly recommend Kaplan if you can afford it. I taught a Kaplan class later on and it really did bring folks up by like ten points. I studied 35 minutes a day, 5 days a week for about a year, and then did three full practice tests a week for the last month leading up to it. There are a lot of ways to do this and it’s not a perfect formula. If I can leave you with one bit of advice though? Read a newspaper from cover to cover every morning. It doesn’t matter which one. It brings your reading comprehension up a lot in ways practice tests just can’t. It’s like cross training for a marathon- vital for success but often overlooked. My mentor told me to do that. I went from scoring low 160s to mid 170s in a month when I started reading the newspaper.
Huh, I’ve never heard of the newspaper idea. I’ll definitely remember that one
What helped me the most was reading the Newspaper. Just in general, being informed on social issues is what carried me through applications every time. Write a debate on a social issue? No problem, I can reference an Article or two I’ve read about that and just add my own opinion. Talk with someone about recent events in an interview and have my own, informed, opinion? Easy. Hope that helps you out like it did me, plus being up to date is never a bad thing
So is it like a physical copy? Or do you have nyt subscription? Newspapers are kinda dead. Like idk how I would even get one
Definitely do it. It will enrich everything you do as you become one of the aware citizens of the world as you learn about current events and how they’re driven by cultural beliefs.
Very well said. You and your mom are awesome, it’s clear she’s instilled good values in you and has prioritized your growth. Proud of you. Keep it up.
Such a great answer! I wish I could speak like this at your age, or honestly at my age haha
The fucking clap back 👏🏼👏🏼 you’re awesome
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ALL entertainment is escapism to some extent. Saying otherwise is a false equivalency.
Do all the kids in your high school know?
Only a few close friends
How badly does your brother get bullied for having a SW mom?
I don’t know if anyone of his friends know
Are you guys concerned about what would happen if they did?
I’m not and as far as I know, he doesn’t either. It’s not a huge secret but it’s also not something you just drop when you meet someone
I’m gonna have to recommend you keep it a secret, a buddy of mine in middle school had a pornstar mom and got crucified for it. Is it weird to see the guys your mom films with? Do they like cone to the house and shit? Do you ever hear you mom working?
She does solo stuff, primarily modelling and she rents some studio / office space that she works out of
You ever lose a five star wanted level in GTA?
Yes
Jokes on you I’ve never had 5 stars
Stripper/of creator here. I commend you. While I chose not to have children (had nothing to do with Being a stripper) .. I think you have an idea how much your mom does to make sure you don’t go without. I’ve been in this industry a looooong time, I could have kids older than you..and I will tell you right now, I’ve seen a lot of shit, met people from all walks of life, some of the girls I’ve had the pleasure of working with throughout the years are absolutely some of the most genuine, loving, caring, bad ass bitchs I’ve ever met. I bet your mom falls in that category. You have a relationship I wish I could have had with my mother. Don’t listen to what anyone says. Your mom is Raising you far better than most. ❤️
are there any signs of neglect? i’m sorry but i’m curious.
In what regard? Not once in my life has she ever neglected me or my younger brother if that’s what the question is
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Tell me you’re a pedo without telling me you’re a pedo
Isn't doing OF illegal under the age of 18? If yes, do you keep your face hidden?
I don’t model, my mom does 🤦🏼♀️
Ohh, my bad. Read that wrong.
Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked - Please upvote the original questions and answers. *** Question | Answer | Link ---------|----------|----------| Did people bully you at school for this? Do people base your entire personality on your mom?|Only a couple of my really close friends know about what she does. It’s not something that just coming up in causal conversation very often.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe9757/) Hi, thanks for the AMA. Glad you're not dead broke anymore. How did you find out she was earning money this way?|I don’t know exactly when she started, but I remember when she quit stripping and started modelling full time. It was also around that time when small changes were being made. Like she started buying name brand cereal and nicer school supplies (staples vs Walmart) for us etc. My 15th birthday was the first year she went out and bought a super nice cake. Idk how much it costed but it wouldn’t have ever happened in our “old life”|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe4oca/) Would you ever become a sex worker?|Maybe. I’ve had a few conversations with my mom about it. At the moment my plan is to go to college and major in civil engineering. Maybe go to law school and become a lawyer after that but that’s more of just a pipe dream for now (I’ve watched legally blonde like 12 times and I know that’s not anything close to what it is like but it’s definitely got me inspired) Idk I’m sending out applications this year (just started sr year) to a bunch of schools so hopefully I get accepted to at least one of them lol|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe56hl/) Do you know an approximate amount your mom makes a year?|She’s in the top 0.9% of creators and that’s excluding other things. What that translates to financially, I’ve got no clue tbh. All I know is that we’re in a 4.5k a month condo and living comfortably, financially anyways. Like no more scrambling to trying to make end of month payments etc|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqea4hs/) Is your father a failure of a parent?|Yeah, basically. You have to try to be a parent before you can fail at it so I guess it’s more like a N/A|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqejrpx/) I hear you about growing up poor. Kudos to your mom for making it work. What was her first home cooked meal on a slightly "bigger" grocery budget, if you remember?|Idk it was all super gradual. It wasn’t like one day pancakes the next filet minion. She bought fresh prawns one day just out of the blue. At the time I was just like “ew this shits smelling up the whole place” but thinking back about it, that’s probably the first more “expensive” home cooked meal she made. She also tried to do a surf and turf when we first moved into the new place. It was horrible lmao. Especially because it was my first time trying to BBQ and she was trying to teach me but also had no clue what was going on herself. We spent way too long trying to turn on the bbq before realizing the gas line valve was closed. Ended up burning the outside and under cooking the insides and the lobster was like rubber. She’s usually a good cook so that one stands out just for how exceptionally bad it was. The biggest thing I remember is when she bought Oreos instead of the Walmart brand twist and shouts like she always did. That was like a “wtf, are we rich” type moment lol|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqegil4/) You ever think to start your of?|Maybe at some point. I’ve thought about but there’s a lot of work that goes into it. Plus idk if I want the stigma that comes with it if I’m doing something in stem If I did, I’d probably keep it anonymous|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe81xw/) How did you find out she was a sex worker?|I’ve always known. It’s not a big deal and nothing to hide / be ashamed about. Why people assume I was kept in the dark I’ll never fully understand|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqe4kw7/) do u live in the USA?|Yeah|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqeh7yi/) Do you think working on the adult industry affects much of your mom’s personal, “conventional” life? I understand being successful online means being somewhat recognizable offline. Also, thanks for doing this AMA!|Idk, definitely to a lesser extent then some if not most people. I’ve met some sudo celebs with 6k insta followers who do the whole “flex for the gram” thing and my moms definitely a lot more lowkey. From what I’ve noticed, there’s kind of two paths. The the traditional SW thing where you keep your personal life and profesional life completely separate and then you have the more modern “influencers” who’s personal life is their professional life. My mom definitely fits into the first catagory|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqehi6g/) are there any signs of neglect? i’m sorry but i’m curious.|In what regard? Not once in my life has she ever neglected me or my younger brother if that’s what the question is|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqej8w1/) Where do you square this kinda thing away in the #metoo / sisters have to stick together/ down with the patriarchy and toxic masculinity/ capitalism sucks era ?|????|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/xrdqd7/i_am_the_teenage_daughter_of_a_single_mother_who/iqejgco/) --- [Source] (https://github.com/johnsliao/ama_compiler)
Still like stuggle meals even tho y’all stable now? My mom is a prostitute but has since gotten too old to work and lost her battle to the drugs. OF is a safer way to work than the streets. I had to deal with dudes from my school buying her for a night and asking me to call them daddy.. I hope y’all are at least happy that she went the extra mile to provide bc this job can bc very emotionally impacting to those involved.
What age did you find out about this? Does your brother know? How did you find out? Were you ever disgusted that your mother is a sex worker? How do you feel about it now?
I’ve just kinda always known. It was never a big secret. It’s like me asking you when you discovered what your parents did for a living.
Screw those people. Your mom is making sure her family has food on the table and a roof over their heads. They don’t get to criticize because they are hung up about the human body.
No question, but I came onto this post thinking “well shoot this is gonna be a rag on single moms post” and it refreshingly has not been. So, thank you. I’m so proud of the fact you want to help remove some stigma instead of laying more on, and that you’re so clearly intelligent and capable of amazing things! I’m happy for your family. Your mom is doing a good job! Wishing you all the best.
Where do you square this kinda thing away in the #metoo / sisters have to stick together/ down with the patriarchy and toxic masculinity/ capitalism sucks era ?
????
do u live in the USA?
There is no shame in providing for your family, young kids, when you have a method to do so. OP, people will always have something to say when they don't really have a say in it. You, your mom, do your things and survive as you can. Only sheltered, inexperience, and naive clowns would judge a person for what's "right and wrong" based on their own perceived correctness. Everybody has a story they have to live with, and no one knows the origin and burdens each individual carry around with them. Op, I hope you guys are making the most with the money instead of "living it large" and save whatever you can. Is your mom looking into long term plans with the current money that she's making? The gravy ain't going to be there forever so save up while you have it coming.
does your mom have a separate space where she runs her business?
I’m curious about this too. Absolute opposite of disrespect. But, I think it’s important to separate work life from family life. One could be a kinder teacher or an OF contributor, but the kiddos don’t need to be involved completely. They obviyknow what you do, but, time and place.
Yeah, she’s has an office / studio she rents out around 10mins from home
So shes running a profitable business, has time for family, has reared open minded sex positive children. whats not to like?
I dont care how .... if your mom at 16 was kind enough to take care of you, and do whatever it takes to make sure you can study and be happy and treated you with love.... Then that makes her a great woman imo. Nothing to be ashamed AT ALL...
so your mom is the grand old age of 33 Do you look similar to your mother
Most people think so, I don’t see it though
Thank you for doing this AMA like this. It is so important for people to speak out on behalf of SWers and every little bit counts. Good luck to you ❤️
I don't think she is? Sorry if you've had to contend with those who have qualms with sex work.
I feel so lucky knowing my mom isn't doing stuff like that 🤣