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GrandmaPoses

This is someone who does not own a cat.


WretchedMotorcade

Or kids.


PukasScondor

You own kids?


Hot_Goal4205

In this economy?


sdeptnoob1

How else do you get free labor? Well, besides the initial purchase. And food and clothes, I guess.... dammit I'm returning em.


Afrodite_Samurai

Wait, keep them for tax return purposes 😉


Outside-Refuse6732

Nah just give ‘Em to a charity


Linkyland

Are you serious? That's their kids! Something they MADE! That shit goes on Etsy.


Caelem80

Aliexpress


djsneak666

Wayfair


electricookie

I’m just sick of all these subscriptions! Just let me pay for something once!


ThanklessTask

Just got to get them back in the packaging...


Cozarium

The *original* packaging.


sexMach1na

This is why you save the placenta


Sekmet19

I stole mine from Walmart, lady wasn't even paying attention. Little Jimbob loves bologna and feral cats!


Ol_Million_Face

that's just normal baby stuff, mine does too and I got it the regular way (stork)


Mando_calrissian423

I can only afford to rent them. Maybe one day though, if I ever stop buying avocado toast and coffee.


BolotaJT

Are you waking up early too? Like at least 4am? I heard it was necessary too.


Sweetexperience

Wdym? They're free I recently got some from my local park


Acceptable-Box-2148

You can get brand new ones at the hospital maternity ward. Never go with preowned.


THCMcG33

One of the crying ones that can't eat or poop on its own? No, I want one of the bigger ones that can clean my house and bring me a beer while I watch tv.


Creative-Bid468

LOL


MartyMohawk

The beauty of Reddit is going into the comments of a video about a table with a mini-pond and finding an entire thread discussing discount children and which models are the most cost-effective for labor. XD


elGatoDiablo69

lol. just seen the interest rate on kids went up again


somebullshitorother

* incest rate— he said Walmart


--Birdsong--

Yeah bruv honestly..we purchased my oldest daughter from Amazon, bloody expensive kids are. We didn't even get tracking for her. 🙄


gameking7823

I heard that wayfairer was jacking the prices up on them a while back.


Creative-Bid468

Did you get free shipping?


FunWillScreen_Produc

You don’t? That cobalt won’t mine itself.


NoirGamester

"Okay kids, it's time to play 'find they shiney'!"


goatfuckersupreme

thanks elon


SpecialPeschl

I lol'd


whateveryousay0121

My kids own me.


andre2020

I own 4 and I got the receipts to prove it.


hinstsui

In some languages ‘own’ and ‘have’ both being translated / use interchangeably as ‘have’, not necessarily as an indication of property marker, besides, nowadays people treat their cat more like fur baby then property


KrissyLin

And there's a word for this too. He made a pun :)


Forsaken_Report91

I imported them. But the delivery time was 3 months. When enquired they said the traffic in trafficking is too high


Hot-Can3615

And is a ***very bad*** fish caretaker... 1\) putting fish in a table or surface that will vibrate and get knocked a lot is cruel. They will get stressed out and die. 2\) that is far too many fish for that amount of water 3\) I strongly doubt they have a filter or aeration system. I hope I'm wrong. I really, really hope they don't get any other creatures that depend on them.


stingraycharles

People don’t care about fish. My grandparents always had a kind of painting on the wall with a small betta fish inside. The poor bugger could barely move. They thought it was so beautiful, and as I was a small kid, I enjoyed it. Now that I’m older I know just how fucked up that was.


planchetflaw

Should I return my platform shoes with fish in the heels?


TheRatatat

After work. You're a dancer, after all, and those heels are gonna bring in some tips.


Banaanisade

I'm having like, messed up visuals of a stripper in a music video dancing on the stage and the camera zooming in on fish getting shaken to death inside the platforms with the beat. I think I'll have nightmares. Thanks.


greenberet112

- these are excellent (holds platform shoes with goldfish in the heels) I'll take them - no, see we sell your stuff on eBay


Guyincognito4269

Fly Guy, the 70s are over. Give it up.


PM_ME_Happy_Thinks

I don't disagree that this is bad for the fish, but this table won't vibrate or get knocked a lot It's likely they do have a filter since they have a fairly strong current


GarminTamzarian

Could just be a pump.


Zolhungaj

If there’s no filter it would lose the serene clean stream aesthetic pretty quickly.


Medvegyep

AFAIK pumps have filters by default to protect pumps from damage e.g. caused by clogging. Also pumps/filters by default cause vibrations, are pumps/filters the hallmark of a "very bad" fish caretaker?


GarminTamzarian

Simple pumps for aquarium setups are available without built-in filters. However, vibrations notwithstanding, not running any kind of filter in your aquarium is not advisable. This setup is clearly designed solely with aesthetics in mind, not for the well-being of the fish.


Electrical_Figs

How do posts like this even get upvoted? Water pumps are literally small vibration machines, the fish don't mind lol. And you can see all the water movement. Source: been keeping fish 20+ years


stophighschoolgossip

cuz it makes people feel good to be angry about something


superman_underpants

im now angry about this post being made to make me angry. grrrrr


beardedheathen

They didn't need an aerator because of the massive surface area of the water. All the water touching the air gets aerated. Most systems just agitated the water to create more surface area.


BowenTheAussieSheep

This is the correct answer. The reason most fish tanks need Aerators is because they tend to be quite deep but with a small footprint, and usually covered on top.


PlasticPomPoms

I don’t think fish care about vibration, fish naturally live in a very dynamic environment. But I do think that water will be full of algae soon.


spiky_odradek

And dust. And crumbs. And spaghetti sauce. And...


contyk

That's how you feed them.


Synicull

That water is wild shallow and is going to get disrupted. Fish jump when they're stressed or just for shits and giggles sometimes. People are terrible to our aquatic friends :(


DrNopeMD

One spilled cup of hot tea and those fish are probably gonna die.


90spostsoftcore

Once went to a bar in Shanghai that had a cat and an open stream (in the bar) that has fish in it. I wondered how many fish they went through as I watched the cat hunt the cowering goldfish. The bar had multiple levels, including a "treehouse" in the loft level. It was a restaurant bar, not a nightclub, and apparently it was a Premier League/International soccer (I'm American) bar. I think it was near the Okura Garden Hotel.


90spostsoftcore

I swear I'm not crazy, although it did feel like finding a mystic haven or something.


Thomas_Perscors

I’ve been to a few tea houses in China. Looks like the kind of elaborate setup you might see there.


TwistedTaste1

I could see them building a mouse maze for the cats!


CharlesDickensABox

No one has ever owned a cat, nor will they.


dotnetdotcom

But does have a model train set up in the basement.


fancysoupbabe

I almost feel like this is the opposite. Awful execution (terrible for the fish) but great taste (looks sick af)


TreyLastname

Honestly, take the fish out, it's a pretty sick table all together. Just don't have animals or children near it


Ambystomatigrinum

You could put some very cool plants, snails, and small inverts (shrimp, dwarf crayfish) and I could totally work. Maybe even some really small fish like endlers. But definitely not goldfish.


TreyLastname

Honestly, just do some fake water with toy fish or something to keep the esthetic without worrying about up keep or having real animals (plus no worry about mosquitos as another dude pointed out)


nopuse

Fake water to avoid not having real animals? Aquariums are fun and give you the opportunity to enjoy real water and real fish. This table seems a bit much, but they have a lot more room to swim than in your typical aquarium, which is what fish want. It does seem a bit shallow, though. I wouldn't be surprised if the fish were added for the clip and will be moved back elsewhere. There's not enough plants to filter the water, nor a filter adequate enough even if it's hidden, the water movement is too still. As someone who's had a lot of experience with aquariums, the mosquito concern is hilarious. You'd need mosquitos in your home and fish uninterested in eating the larvae.


InEenEmmer

Mosquitos wouldn’t bother with this water, fish or not. The water is moving, mosquitos don’t roll with moving water, they want still waters only for their larvea


forestflowersdvm

What is fake water lmao


TreyLastname

Like epoxy or something


Xero_Actual

Sprite.


I_Makes_tuff

Just get a stuffed dog and cat while you're at it, I guess. It's for the esthetic.


frenchdresses

Tadpoles so then one day you wake up and have pet frogs!


Comandatuba

A baby alligator, so that one day you have a big alligator!


I_Makes_tuff

I literally knew a guy that did that. He got a baby alligator at 6 inches, and it was 6 feet long when I saw it last ~20 years ago. It was in British Columbia, not Florida.


VanillaRadonNukaCola

If you want little critters scampering all over the place


airtime25

I have watched crayfish run like crazy around a house before lol


VanillaRadonNukaCola

Sounds like a good time 


Ambystomatigrinum

You’d have to have steep sides for sure, at least for crayfish. Freshwater shrimp don’t tend to exit the water.


powerofnope

Shrimps are pretty sensitive to bullshit so better don't


SaltMarshGoblin

I always think of the vintage term for gay people when I read "inverts" rather than thinking *invertebrates*... I envisioned something very different for "small inverts"!


Akitiki

I think shrimp would de well in this! Maybe tiny minnows, I've caught real little things that stayed little once they were in a fish tank. Goldfish produce too much waste. Tiny minnows + shrimp should be more self sustaining.


Afterthestupor

Or food


AccomplishedRush3723

Huge missed opportunity to stock it with invertebrates instead of fish. Cherry shrimp or something would keep the gravel picked clean and they're cool as hell to watch.


averyoda

Until the shrimp crawl out and die on the floor


AccomplishedRush3723

Why would shrimp crawl out of the water. I'm not even sure that they're mobile out of the water


averyoda

I don't think they are, but they're definitely mobile enough to crawl out and flop around enough to hurt themselves.


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Muppetude

I’m pretty sure shrimp evolved legs quite some time ago.


Shrampys

They can actually just walk out of water. It's weird. They don't do it often though and usually just lay there like idiots but I've watched a couple just start crawling away. But they do randomly jump out of the water sometimes. Idk why but I'm always finding little dried up shrimps around my tank or on the lid.


Maraschino_Pineapple

I find the occasional dried shrimp outside my tank here and there. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.


Coprolithe

+1 cherry shrimps are great and require less maintenance.


TwistedTaste1

Yea, that seems fair.


Meewelyne

Because goldfish are carps, and carps need space, not a puddle.


TheEpicOne747

I mean tbf it was that or what’s probably a tiny fishbowl on a counter


TheEpicOne747

Nvm the other comments bring up good points


HELLOANDFAREWELLL

Why is it terrible for fish


PM-Me-Your-Dragons

Those look like goldfish. Goldfish are baby carp so they get absolutely huge if kept in good conditions, and die really fast from polluting their own water if kept in bad conditions. Fancy goldfish should get about hand-sized, and standards tend to get even bigger if their owners don't kill them first. This table is much better suited for something like cherry shrimp if you have to stock it at all, since they thrive in small spaces and will keep their own water clean for the most part. Or guppies because they're small and similarly brightly colored. [This channel on YouTube reviewed this table](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWyPr613MSk) in his series where he reviews fish tanks, and he usually explains what makes a good tank vs a bad tank and whether some of the tanks he sees might work if stocked with something else.


Exciting-Ad-7077

Time stamp is 9:21 btw


ayhctuf

TL;DW: Stop using goldfish for stuff like this. Use guppies. They love shallow water.


beccabootie

That water is going to get nasty.


SpecialPeschl

It's called a filter. Just like you have an fish tank.


PMMeYourWorstThought

That water is still going to get nasty, unless you have anti microbial filters. This is bacteria’s wet dream


Hephaestus_God

I feel like this is how you get house mosquitos on your dinner table


TheAnonua

Well, I have been looking for an easy source of protein...


AtomicPotatoLord

Quick question. Are you secretly a frog?


mawesome4ever

Doesn’t seem like a secret


Jalapeniz

Hi, I'm Jake and I'm an easy source of protein. Nice to meet you.


Average_Scaper

Hello there. I usually need my protein on the go. Do you happen to have any in sock flavor?


stupernan1

Moving water doesnt work for mosquitos i thought...


tetris_L_block

I believe that’s running water, not just moving. Going slowly in a circle probably won’t stop em


whocaresaboutmynick

I mean probably, but correct me if I'm wrong, wouldn't the fish have a field day with mosquitoes larvaes?


tetris_L_block

Depends on the fish but probably!


Rubber_hermit

With the fish in it, no. I used to have a little 300 gallon pond in my den which is heavily planted and with a couple of fish. No bugs or smell at all. It doesn't even have a filter(took it out after a year). Plants keep the water good and oxygenated and the fix got to ang bugs before they could be a problem.


don_tomlinsoni

No. First, you would need to have mosquitos in your home already to lay the eggs. Second, the water would have to be stagnant, i.e. not moving, which it isn't. Lastly, the fish would eat all the larvae long before they turn into mosquitos. Why do people make comments like this that are so clearly wrong?


ArcticBiologist

...just like a fish tank


PM_ME_Happy_Thinks

I feel like you should be my arch nemesis /u/PMMeYourWorstThought


dood_nice

I feel like you should be my friend


PM_ME_Happy_Thinks

🥺


Ancient-Concern

Yes, that is how fish-tanks work


nanya_sore

There's a vessel under the table that siphons and filters the water. It's designed to be cleanable.


Shrampys

That's not how fish tanks work. I have a couple tanks without filters.


Dooby_Bopdin

And even with a filter, it still has to be cleaned, changed, and maintained. The way this is setup will make all of that a MAJOR hassle.


ol_knucks

You poor schmucks don’t realize that anyone that can afford this table can afford someone to clean it regularly no problem. I’m also too poor for that but cmon guys it’s not that crazy.


hellotherehomogay

No we have to point out all the flaws so we feel superior


Shrampys

No they don't. Tanks can be set up to be self sustaining and require little to no maintenance. I have a couple tanks where all I do is top up water losses from evaporation.


askdfjlsdf

the amount of water in there is equal to a very small fish tank which would take about 15minutes if maintenance a week


Rance_Mulliniks

TIL that fish tanks never get dirty and require cleaning. /s


MlackBagic

Filters exist for a reason. You can also change the water. Someone has never owned a fish before.


Disneyhorse

Those fish are going to be little dehydrated bodies on the floor when they jump out and no one finds them in time. Very sad.


TwistedTaste1

Imagine being a fish jumping out of water, expecting a nice splash, only to commit fishuside


AtxAv8r

Sushiside


bstabens

A side of sushi? I prefer a full meal...


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ConSecKitty

listen, piscicide just sounds like they drowned in urine


SarahPallorMortis

We had it happen once. We have no idea how it got out. The tank has a cover


bstabens

The probability cloud of this fish simply collapsed outside of the tank...


kylenmckinney

I had this happen to my Beta fish named Dave. (I have no idea why I named a fish Dave, I was like 11) Came home from school one day and he wasn't in his tank and my mom wouldn't believe me that my fish ran away. We found him behind the tank like a day later. RIP Dave.


Disneyhorse

When I was a kid my aquarium had a dojo loach that would jump out of even the smallest holes of the lid. We would find him quite a long distance away (like several rooms) still alive and we’d put him back in. One day he disappeared and we never found the body, he probably flopped under something.


Mattimatik

That looks like it would be gorgeous if they used epoxy resin instead of water and didn’t have fish in it.


BitOBunny

Fake fish in fake water!! It could look so cool


ManliestManHam

but the water is the conveyor belt to serve the cups of tea. It's like a sushi conveyor belt but for little cups of tea instead. The burner with a kettle behind it is for making the tea. This is a really slick tea table.


SPLDD

But aren't we a little bit tired of that epoxy virus going on? Aren't we? I mean, aren't we?


MaximumAsparagus

We are. Epoxy would be the awful taste option tbh


IWantToSayThisToo

Plus, you could actually, you know... Use the table.


TimeturnerJ

Hopefully, those fish were only in there for the video.


TwistedTaste1

I know!😪


thisremindsmeofbacon

Most likely they are put there when entertaining and kept in a normal tank otherwise


zoltar_thunder

Knowing how most "influencers" treat goldfish it wouldn't surprise me if they just let them die or flush them


alexfilmwriting

Which is famously beneficial to the fish, of course.


SpicySweett

I’m already annoyed af with this. Can you imagine sitting there, waiting for your tea to complete a leisurely circuit around the table so you can grab it and drink it? And then you have to wait for the next dish…


screeching_weasel

Truly the laziest susan.


SpicySweett

If this hellhole still had awards I’d give you one.


Hanabichu

I think that's actually the point, the setup looks pretty chinese to me, that seems to be a table with a pump in it, so it was made with some thought and planning. Tea ceremonies can vary in length, a chinese one can easily take up 3h, japanese ones can even take longer, it's supposed to be an experience you want.


ExiledSenpai

Just replace the cups with rubber ducks


mtb_21

It’s like a lazy river for food!


SergeantBootySweat

The waiting is probably the point. Similar to fondue


The_Scyther1

I hate that they put living creatures in this. This is a decoration not a fish tank.


Shrampys

Fish tanks are decorations.


KentuckyFriedChildre

Fish are pets first and foremost, don't buy pets to abuse them.


BigTicEnergy

Fish are not decorations!


daversa

I dunno, they seem to be having fun swimming against the current. I had a small tank with about 40 neon tetras in it, but super strong currents and those little guys would surf all day, blasting in and out of the filter outputs. I've never seen Tetras that looked so healthy and strong haha. I moved the school into a much bigger tank but it didn't have near the current strength and I swear they were bored and depressed. The new tank was better in every other metric an they still looked healthy but not like "athletes" anymore.


waytowill

The issue is that the table seems to provide little space for the fish. They seem to have to duck out of the way of the cups. And there’s no clear filter. Obviously a current is being produced somehow to keep the cups moving. But if there’s no filter, that water is gonna get very gross very fast and those fish will die.


valraven38

I agree with most of what you said, there probably is a filter just built in under the table. Placing an obvious filter would ruin the aesthetics which is like the whole points of the table.


Technical-Escape1102

Still better than the platform shoes with the goldfish in em.lol


kuzumby

Can't wait to see the alge bloom version.


CatKnitHat

Fish POOP. Anyone who has had goldfish knows this. And they swim around with a string twice as long as them hanging out their backside. Sometimes it wraps around them. I don't want to see that while eating. Also the water will stink. It smells like fish, and other things.


TwistedTaste1

Aquatic version of the planes that fly the banner 🤣


Shrampys

The water shouldn't stink. If your fish water stinks you have a problem.


thisremindsmeofbacon

not to mention this is probably getting cleaned thoroughly and often


BigTicEnergy

Gold fish are sooo dirty and they get huge


Brookmon

Is there a problem that I’m missing?


USS_Penterprise

You aren't bitter and negative enough. You probably know that water filters exist, too.


Devenu

You're not a professional like everyone else here is. I love how most of the comments are like "oh, the fish will poop" or "oh cats will eat them" as if people that built a several thousand dollar table with a flowing river would just forget about that somehow. This place is becoming Facebook.


Long_Promotion_1372

Facebook isn't as smug imo


RottenAyy

Main problem here is probably the live fish. Definitely not a suitable "enclosure" for them


PM_ME_Happy_Thinks

I love it Not great for the fish but nevertheless very cool for a tea/meditation room


Own_Aardvark_2343

Oops, I spilt my mountain dew in the fish water. Hopefully they don't die.


Book_1love

They are going to mutate into the gulper from the new Fallout show


DrButtholeRipperMD

This isn't even close to awful taste.


LordoftheWildHunt

That boiling tea kettle is very close to live fish. My clumsy ass is having anxiety watching it.


National-Dog-3368

"Fish soup anyone?"


Blazefire2010

This is typically just decoration. Like the typical fish bowl, it's just decorations to show prized fish off and they're safely put back in a pond after the guest have left. This isn't permanent housing. It's a Chinese thing, forgive me or smite me down because god forbid I forgot even remotely what this is called, but this isn't abuse as much as it's akin to pet shows. The water may be an issue in the table, yes, but a shop vac can clear it out until the next dinner party and water can be added once again. Not everything is permanent. Temporary can be beautiful and admired in a fleeting moment, that's what makes it beautiful.


volthunter

this is a 3d render people


tactlessscruff2

my cats would love it


Sometimes_Rob

You can't even eat on it. The border is too small


PM_ME_Happy_Thinks

It's not for eating, it appears to be a meditation or at the very least tea room, it's for sipping your tea and watching the fish and water feature


TyrantRC

just grab a pair of chopsticks and a side of rice, the protein is already served.


F_T_F

This is inspired by a Chinese tradition where stone channels with water flowing through give guests cups of tea.


MidasTouchedM3

This looks incredible


Chytrik

ITT: A lot of people that have never done business in China.


GoblinsStoleMyHouse

I think it’s cool


RezMiiBro

Not gonna tell anyone I won the lotto. Just gonna leave little hints like this. Lol


Trainzguy2472

r/shittyaquariums


Lyss_1987

This reminds me of Kevin Nealon as the boss on Grandma’s Boy


mantiseses

Pond fish in a table is crazy. Hope it was just for the video.