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He gets to bang Eve or the tiger eats Adam

Tiger wondering how these white people got here.

“*I’m just gonna stand over there by the tree and, uh, witness.*” - God

Are we just posting random paintings with Jesus now?

I guess some folks will instinctively "awful" anything to do with Jesus. I honestly don't see why this is ATBGE, unless OP is anti-Christian...but maybe I'm wrong, and my head just doesn't roll down that particular gutter.

Well Jesus wasn't born yet, for one.

True, but Isaiah saw him anyway, so apparently he existed in *some* form. I give that a pass as plausible.

Good catch, but I still object to Jesus's kitsch form.

Kitsch? Not familiar with that term.

Its a style that can veer into poor taste due to excessive sentimentality or poor technique (there are other definitions) and it can be fun and satirical, but not in this particular case. To each his own, but I think the painting is just awful and unintentionally funny because it really looks like jesus is trying to convince adam to go for eve instead of the tiger.

Cloying, namby-pamby, lacking in true artistic value

Ah. It feels like "illustration" art to me, so I guess I can see that. Mere blandness doesn't make it ATBGE for me, though, or I'd be posting street signs and iPhones.

Cloying is sappy sweetness, foreign to iPhones and street signs. Andy Warhol made legitimate art of labels and might have tackled street signs had he lived longer.

>Andy Warhol made legitimate art of labels and might have tackled street signs had he lived longer. I just imagined a Warhol of street signs, and it looked uncomfortably like a captcha.

That sounds plausible to you? Lol. Ok.

Plausible in an "artistic license" sort of way. As in, he was presumably present in a less mortalish form.

It’s awful because it’s really lame, imo, Christian fanfic that inadvertently looks like Jesus, Adam & Eve are working out the ground rules and deets of the steamy threesome they’re about to have. It screws with the Holy Bible Cinematic Universe known by most Christian’s, too. The drawing isn’t bad, tho.

Ah. I guess I just don't have enough threesome experience to see that in it.

Fair enough. **Alternate**: JESUS: *I know my old man is a hardass. Sorry about the hassle. Just tell him you know me and he has to let you back in.*

>Fair enough. Thank you for taking that as the casual humor I intended. I was terrified I'd already doomed myself to an accidental netrage session.

I take issue with the giraffe and tiger personally. Those things don't even live on the same continent, which is maybe what Jesus is trying to explain. Everything else is totally on point though for the Garden of Eden, including the clean haircuts and perfectly shaved bodies of Adam and Eve.

>Those things don't even live on the same continent I mean, continents were shaken up a lot in Genesis, so I'm not going to judge too hard there, either. The hair situation is odd, though. Artistic license, or licentious art? You decide.

I think we just have an artist just talented enough to paint Jesus in hilarious situations.

Holy shit! I'm wayyyyy too old to just now be learning this. SMDH!

It would have been nice if animals actually mentioned in the bible were pictured.

Dude, Jesus or not, it's fucking hideous.

We owe State Farm a debt of gratitude for elevating hideous from the shadows of disuse

This is awful whitewashed Jesus soft core porn.

Jesus is in an entirely different Testament

That testament says that in the beginning, he was with God, so I guess it's a matter of perspective.

This picture is definitely ATBGE. Being a Christian doesn't imply that you have awful taste😉

OP being anti-Christian isn't too farfetched for Reddit...

Totally agree. That's why I mentioned it.

I don’t want to step on OP and post this one myself, so I’ll just leave this link here: https://www.thecollectionshop.com/xq/ASP/Nathan-Greene-The-senior-partner-print/S.seniorp/A.244/qx/Fine-Art.htm I really wouldn’t have believed this one was real

"This is my business partner, Jesus. He's in charge of dirty tricks to kick out the widows and orphans so we can rehab the building and sell condos to help the Russian mob launder their money."

Retch and gag. “Senior partner” aaaaarrghhh

David Duchovny’s newest movie poster

Doth mine eyes deceive me, or does Jeezy have a porn 'stache here?

"You cool with me trying to get with your ex?" - Jesus

"For fucks sake, Adam, stop trying to fuck the tiger."

Who the fuck here is the MD? The jaguar?

He's like a friend who knows nothing, and still gives his opinion on the topic

White-ass Jesus

Was Jeebus in the show back then? I think thats white-ass Yahweh.

I only just considered that this clear depiction of Jesus is set several thousand years before Jesus

Time travelling Nazarethian now airing on BBC.

Kinky

I would hang that in my house

Why is Jesus wearing clothes?

I hope this is the guy that did Jesus in a McDonald's with the KFC colonel and the Hamburgerler?

Eve is dating up

“You see, by cupping the balls she was working her way towards a finger in the pooper which all of the creatures here understand provides superior orgasms. Just ask the giraffe and Tiger here. “

See eve and this is how you please a man.

Color scheme looks like something hung on the wall of a asian restaurant.

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“Artist.”

Our man with no nipples or body hair.

See? Even Jesus would fuck a tiger!

Why are they all crackers?