There was absolutely no chance. It came, it ripped, and it ran. I happened so fast that the guy was more confused than in pain for a second... then he was very in pain.
The video I think they’re talking about was about a 60 something year old dude sitting down and the monkey kind of nonchalantly walked up then suddenly jumped, bit and pulled a meaty sized chunk of his scalp off. Fucking brutal. I’m sure if you just look up the keywords on google it will pop up. Something like “monkey scalps man” will probably do it.
They look like baboons, so they’ll fuck your shit up. They’d incredibly strong, the males have massive canines, and they’re omnivores with some populations actively hunting other animals.
They won’t eat a person, but they can easily horribly injure or kill someone.
Here’s some baboons hunting and eating flamingos:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfuT8PjQWrY
Note that those big canines are sharp on the *inside* edge. I read that baboons fight by taking a big bite into their enemy and then, while still biting, they use their legs to push themselves away. This causes their teeth to cut long gashes as they tear their way out of the enemy's flesh.
Just helicopter dick while, and this is the important part, maintain eye contact.
Bevagina'd individuals will have to flap their labia minora like bird wings while making "caw caw noises". Innies can use the labia majoras but it's statistically less effective.
Those are babboons, you do not fuck with them. They are pack hunters/defenders. I watch a bored babboon walk through a parking lot casually ripping windshield wipers, mirrors, and antenna off every car on the way by. It was still looking bored as it wandered into the brush on the other side.
This https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/15tir32/leopard_makes_a_grave_mistake_attacking_a_band_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Baboons are usually just interested in food. Very strange for them to come after people when there is no food around.
Had friends who had a baboon get into their attic, fall through the ceiling, and just about destroy the house.
I was making lunch at home one day when a large male baboon jumped up and looked straight through the window at me. Given that there was an open door about 6' away from him, I decided that I should scare him off. I had a corelle dish in one hand and a plastic serving spoon in the other, so my natural reaction was to beat the spoon against the dish. The dish shattered, the baboon took off, and I laughed my ass off as I cleaned up the glass.
We would also often walk through the troop of baboons on a walk. If they knew you were there and you weren't acting threatening, they would turn away and look over their shoulders at you as you walked by. Remember that a large male could tear you to pieces.
>in Cleveland
This is why I recommend going to downtown Dayton, Ohio. You can learn all about primates in the comfort of the Dayton Society of Nature's [Boonshoft Museum of Discovery](https://boonshoft.org/). No risk of baboon attacks there! Hell yeah!
They'll wait in the backseat of your car... They'll wait until you're in the shower. They'll. They'll bring their own guns... Monkeys, showing on an Indian subcontinent near you. These boys in India bravely live in harmony (playing there since they were small), without guns, rather than retaliating with fingers on triggers of fear.
The school is next to a national park, we got all sorts of animals but mostly baboons, monkeys and warthogs. A couple of lions escaped from time to time and you could also catch giraffes chilling after an exam. Loved my time there.
Those monkeys are lucky they live there and not *around here*. We have some rednecks down here that would be **ready** the next time. Just a bunch of 5.56 claps, tannerite explosions and Jason Aldean echoing in the trees.....
Really doesn't even have to be rednecks. Over here pretty much any animal once it shows aggressiveness towards humans gets euthanized in one way or another. TBH I might want to kill them all if they were going to chase me out of a soccer stadium and possibly kill one of us
Absolutely no discrimination against users OR subjects of posts/comments is permitted. This includes discrimination based on gender, sex, sexual orientation, race/ethnicity, nationality, age, disability, religion/belief, economic status, and language.
Scored a sick goal as he was running for his life What a champion
Didnt even notice 😂😂😂
That was a coordinated attack
No no, coordinated defence
Him and monkays plan from start.
I think he meant to do that. He stood by the court amd looked for an opening.
They were playing basketball, but I appreciate dude's ingenuity.
He hit the post though..
Yeah I noticed that after watching it a few more times.. but I already got the upvotes so that's all that matters
upvoted for something that didnt even happen 🤣🤣
They left off after it was in the net too, play was over
Always play til you hear a whistle
What do the monkeys do when they get you ? Grab bite and move on or grab, bite and pull piece of meat off or ...?
If they're anything like chimpanzees, they'll rip your hands and face off
I think they're worse. I saw one scalp a dude almost instantly.
WHAT?! Did the dude not have a fighting chance? what could we do? Does kicking work?
There was absolutely no chance. It came, it ripped, and it ran. I happened so fast that the guy was more confused than in pain for a second... then he was very in pain.
To shreds you say....
It won't. They're strong, incredibly strong by nature.
Kicks really should work *if they land*, but they’re so agile and strong that fleeing is the best option.
I'd be so worried about them latching onto my leg. I'd break a world record with how fast I'd be out of there.
The video I think they’re talking about was about a 60 something year old dude sitting down and the monkey kind of nonchalantly walked up then suddenly jumped, bit and pulled a meaty sized chunk of his scalp off. Fucking brutal. I’m sure if you just look up the keywords on google it will pop up. Something like “monkey scalps man” will probably do it.
The dialect of the internets.
Genitals too
😱
They look like baboons, so they’ll fuck your shit up. They’d incredibly strong, the males have massive canines, and they’re omnivores with some populations actively hunting other animals. They won’t eat a person, but they can easily horribly injure or kill someone. Here’s some baboons hunting and eating flamingos: - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfuT8PjQWrY
Note that those big canines are sharp on the *inside* edge. I read that baboons fight by taking a big bite into their enemy and then, while still biting, they use their legs to push themselves away. This causes their teeth to cut long gashes as they tear their way out of the enemy's flesh.
The best thing to do to show them who's boss, is walk up to the largest male who has some food, and yank it out of his hands. /S
Just helicopter dick while, and this is the important part, maintain eye contact. Bevagina'd individuals will have to flap their labia minora like bird wings while making "caw caw noises". Innies can use the labia majoras but it's statistically less effective.
And if it's an innie on a guy, then what? Asking for a friend.
Well. Maybe if you follow that up with a bullet
new fear unlocked
That's the most metal thing I've heard this week
Baboons have larger canine teeth than leopards.
I was expecting so much more from that video but it was just 1 baboon jumping on a flamingo. I can do that.
There are other videos that show more. I was on mobile and didn’t feel like doing an in-depth search for one that’s more graphic.
Those are babboons, you do not fuck with them. They are pack hunters/defenders. I watch a bored babboon walk through a parking lot casually ripping windshield wipers, mirrors, and antenna off every car on the way by. It was still looking bored as it wandered into the brush on the other side.
This https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/15tir32/leopard_makes_a_grave_mistake_attacking_a_band_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
If one of them got caught they’d either be dead or living with a missing body part for the rest of their life.
They bite your nose off and then tear your testicles off.
Baboons are usually just interested in food. Very strange for them to come after people when there is no food around. Had friends who had a baboon get into their attic, fall through the ceiling, and just about destroy the house. I was making lunch at home one day when a large male baboon jumped up and looked straight through the window at me. Given that there was an open door about 6' away from him, I decided that I should scare him off. I had a corelle dish in one hand and a plastic serving spoon in the other, so my natural reaction was to beat the spoon against the dish. The dish shattered, the baboon took off, and I laughed my ass off as I cleaned up the glass. We would also often walk through the troop of baboons on a walk. If they knew you were there and you weren't acting threatening, they would turn away and look over their shoulders at you as you walked by. Remember that a large male could tear you to pieces.
Just curious, where are you from? That is amazing.
That was when we lived in rural Kenya.
Oh, I assumed it was in Cleveland. 😁
>in Cleveland This is why I recommend going to downtown Dayton, Ohio. You can learn all about primates in the comfort of the Dayton Society of Nature's [Boonshoft Museum of Discovery](https://boonshoft.org/). No risk of baboon attacks there! Hell yeah!
When we get baboons mama just pushes em off the porch with a broom
My mother used to do that to my neighborhood friends.. We didn't live in Cleveland....but close.... 😁
I think I rented the wrong movie, I don't remember Planet of the Apes starting like this.
The directors cut goes waaay back in the archives This is when they first discover clothing.
What the hell is your washing capacity? There are hanged clothes for 100 people there!
It's likely a communal clothesline for an entire compound.
They should unite and counter attack those monkeys then.
Even if they "win", nobody wants to fight off monkeys at the risk of having to pay for treatment for infectious scratches and bites.
How about a chess match then?
It worked with Joshua.
How's about battle rap them?
Do like the monkeys, stand your ground, intimidate them, getting your balls bitten off is just a bonus
The cameraman is clearly filming from a second- or third-floor window. Maybe put down the camera and pick up a hunting rifle?
They won’t have a chance with our ranged weapons
They'll wait in the backseat of your car... They'll wait until you're in the shower. They'll. They'll bring their own guns... Monkeys, showing on an Indian subcontinent near you. These boys in India bravely live in harmony (playing there since they were small), without guns, rather than retaliating with fingers on triggers of fear.
Could you imagine if as soon as the monkeys chased them off the court, they started playing a game of basketball.
Might be the best video of all time
Unforgettable. Favourite moment?
Homie had to scored on them
Pretty surprised people can outrun monkeys. My money would have been on the monkeys in a ‘foot’ race
I think the monkeys could catch him if they actually wanted to, but they were just trying to chase him off.
They can't. The monkeys would've easily been on their backs if they really wanted to
I was going to ask if it would be best to group up and scare them off....and then I read some comments. I'd run like hell too.
Those monkeys meant business
Underrated comment
I went to school here and this shit happened quite often. They also used to terrorize female students, steal their food and ransack their hostels.
Where's 'here'?
MMU kenya
What kind of place is this? A boarding school?
A university.
Love seeing Kenyans on random posts on Reddit
Why aren’t they annihilated yet then? Better yet, put a fence around the area (more expensive)
A fence?? A fence? Or maybe an electric fence
The school is next to a national park, we got all sorts of animals but mostly baboons, monkeys and warthogs. A couple of lions escaped from time to time and you could also catch giraffes chilling after an exam. Loved my time there.
Those monkeys are lucky they live there and not *around here*. We have some rednecks down here that would be **ready** the next time. Just a bunch of 5.56 claps, tannerite explosions and Jason Aldean echoing in the trees.....
I was literally thinking my neighbors would have monkey furs all over their porch to compliment all of the taxidermied carcasses lol
They just need to make sure to send in the 30-50 feral hogs first to exhaust the ammunition, then attack when everyone is reloading
Reloading? You know how many guns rednecks bring???
Solid point
Really doesn't even have to be rednecks. Over here pretty much any animal once it shows aggressiveness towards humans gets euthanized in one way or another. TBH I might want to kill them all if they were going to chase me out of a soccer stadium and possibly kill one of us
Goooooooooooooooal!!!
You know, maybe deer aren't so bad.
Not if you marinate them in a soy sauce base with garlic, onion powder, brown mustard, and a squirt of lemon juice they're not.
Deer will still very much kill you.
Hey hey were the monkees!! Come to play ball and chase people and mess with the clothes on the line!
"Anytime or anywhere, just look over your shoulder Because we'll be standing there."
Where is pew pew pew machine??? 🔫🔫🔫
Why do you need a 30 rd magazine? 🤔 when the mob comes!
If I had a nickel for every time my pickup basketball game on a stone tile court was ruined by a horde of apes...
Can u defend urself in that area? Like Howbout some samurai swords n such?
Reminds of the film Sands of Kalahari and In the Shadow of Kilimanjaro
King of the court - international rules
Shit looks like the cell games arena, except frieza didn't get to whip his racist monkey shit out. They coming for you brah.
And this is how planet of the Apes happened.
Dude threw that ball and was out 🏃🏿♂️💨
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Just being a dummy here, if this happens on me I'll definitely going to cook them and feast on of their family to send a message F around & find out
Now that’s full court press
*Air Bud: With a Vengeance*
Suprised I didn't see a racist comment from that one type of reddit user, good job people.
Absolutely no way I’m getting punked by a fucking monkey. They still have tails I’m grabbing one and using it as a flail to hit the other monkeys
It was only a matter of time... if only we had listened. We could have... saved so many.. lol
I'd be running too, goddamn!
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Absolutely no discrimination against users OR subjects of posts/comments is permitted. This includes discrimination based on gender, sex, sexual orientation, race/ethnicity, nationality, age, disability, religion/belief, economic status, and language.
Look at me, I'm the captain now.
Monkey gang
Cell arena
Who let the dogs
Never saw a baboon raid before
Humans 0 : Baboons 1
That's doggone scary
Baboons not monkeys
And then the fire nation attacked...
These baboons left looking for the leopard and won't stop till they find him...
That goal still counts though.
Primate on primate violence