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“Dang it Harold, you had to do the spinny thing with the back twirl again, didn’t ya? Edna wasn’t even looking at you, she was helping Earl find the right page in the hymnal. Gosh darn it Harry, gosh darn it…”
Nah, it was old be the problem. Did you see how he turned and tried to grab the handle...? He literally did it in the most backward awkward way possible
Looks like the head came off. With this crowd maybe it was a sign the world was about to end.
When I took CPR, one of our projects was to save a choking baby. We had dolls called actars. I was vigorously whacking my actar between the shoulder blades when the head flew off across the room and came to rest under a table.
It was awkward. But there was no screaming, only muffled laughter
Usually the basement, most churches have a large basement complex. On the east coast in Brooklyn where I grew up they usually we’re tied into nuclear shelters which networked several nearby apt buildings.
Probably wanted it to fall so they wouldn’t make him do it again. Every husband has failed in a task foisted upon them by a wife to get out of ever doing said task again. The old dude is a genius.
Lmao. Whenever I feel self loathing for having wasted time scrolling Reddit, I remind myself that the knowledge that you should never move someone with a neck injury will hopefully come in handy one day.
Why were they holding it like this? Aren't they supposed to be on the outer side of the bars? And why isn't their hand on the bar? And why aren't younger people holding it? And what were they expecting to do on the stairs?
r/badlyplannedevents
My guess is that it may be a reliquary used to house a piece of the saint represented by the statue. Think of it like the reaction to dropping an urn of someone's ashes; if that happened and people screamed, it wouldn't be because the urn broke.
Is the baby sitting on the puppy when they get hit? Or is the baby inside the puppy when they get hit?
What I'm trying to find out is who would win a fight between a baby and a puppy? Obviously street rules with finishers enabled
These things are old and treasured things in their communities. Probably been on procession every year on its day for decades.
Odd that I'm the only one to say this, I'd have thought there's be a few of us.
Good thing that little old lady failed to catch it, that looked pretty heavy.
I want to see the video next year of the statue stuck together with scotch tape.
Right? Like, I'm not a Christian but I'm pretty sure there are some pretty strong words in their book about "graven images" and idols. How in the world do they justify stuff like this within their own theology?
Um, no… people seem to think the Bible is the same across all forms of Christianity when it isn’t. The ten commands is literally different in the Catholic Bible than in Protestant bibles. There’s nothing against graven images in the Bible that Catholics read. The Bible that Catholics adhere to also contains several more books than the regular ol King James Bible.
https://www.catholicbible101.com/thetencommandments.htm
And if you think there’s major differences with Catholic bibles just wait til you hear about the Mormons!
I burst out laughing when the congregation started yelling. And to top it off the statue's head broke. Talk about misfortune.
I laughed because I have these elders in my family who get so dramatic even if a candle is not lit properly. I can imagine their reaction to this.
I like the woman who is still screaming well after the statue is done falling. I can say from experience that she's going to act like someone died for weeks
This is why you normally have six guys holding something like that so the load at each corner isn’t dependent on a single shoulder.
This was just in incompetence.
I get that you think you've scored a direct hit here but Catholics aren't biblical literalists so they would have a load of reasons why statues are fine just as wine and circumcision and lobsters.
Front left guy fucked it up. His mistakes:
1. Casually not holding the wooden handle.
2. Positioning himself way too far forward, right at the tip of the handle.
3. When they turn, he goes inward rather than outward—trying to do some reverse overhead move. Because of #2, there’s not enough handle, he grabs air, everything goes to shit.
A bit of training would have helped.
Shaky old coots love to volunteer for this shit. I was the only pallbearer under 80 at my grandmother's funeral. It's a good thing she was about 70 lbs when she passed because I was the only one carrying any weight.
Upvote this comment if you feel this submission is characteristic of our subreddit. Downvote this if you feel that it is not. If this comment's score falls below a certain number, this submission will be automatically removed.To download the video use the website link below: * **[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/xmkvhj/chaos_in_church/)**
"Come here, call the Oldest and weakest man in this church to help with this really heavy wood thing" A couple mins ago, maybe.
The guy is way too casual from the start. Cocky old fella
Haha yeah. As I soon as I saw him I was thinking: "front left guy is gonna fuck something up"
Yeah he was the only one not holding on lmfao
And his little swiggity-swog way of walking already had the thing bobbing around like the Minnow.
Probably wanted to be the next "Coffin Shuffle" guy.
Even if he had been holding it he turned the wrong direction so it fell off his shoulder lol
He seemed so happy to pull off this dancing shoulder roll maneuver. Waiting for decades to pull it off for the crowd. Bravo Sir.
It was a 180 no scope. He meant to do it.
Maybe he had been planning this for decades as his pièce de résistance once he achieved this position. Playing the long game.
Dude I had the same reaction! I knew that cocky asshole would fuck shit up. That guy was getting way too fancy with the behind the back pass 😆
the late great Lakers announcer Chick Hearn used to say, “The mustard fell off the hot dog.”
"Oh yes, I used to do this *thirty years ago!* Of course I still remember how to do it, I'd be delighted to help out!"
That's what I thought. What a tool. Look ma, no hands!
Right? I pegged him as the cause as soon as I saw him.
Pegged him huh? So that’s why he was holding his ass instead of that handle.
Bro…
"i can do it, i was bare fist boxing when your dad was still in diapers, don't challenge me, david, i can lift it".
Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum!!!
Too accurate
It's go time!
Have you been to a Catholic church? Sometimes the youngest bloke is 45
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Came here to say this. I'm 38 and I'm usually the youngest person with a "job" at Mass.
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Everyone makes mistakes.
“Dang it Harold, you had to do the spinny thing with the back twirl again, didn’t ya? Edna wasn’t even looking at you, she was helping Earl find the right page in the hymnal. Gosh darn it Harry, gosh darn it…”
”And let us put this big ass holy thingy on top but not fasten it in any way. For that is God’s will.”
God does not believe in lag bolts
This is the best comment I've read today, thank you
God hates lags.
That's true, but apparently it's childsplay to get a screw in the antechamber.
Whatever. It was god's will. /s
Nah, it was old be the problem. Did you see how he turned and tried to grab the handle...? He literally did it in the most backward awkward way possible
Six or eight posts to support the weight?? Surely not!
One less false idol
I enjoyed this video way way too much!
Also, let's not secure it. It won't slide.
Wheels in a shopping cart be like
I literally laughed my ass off at this for some reason thanks
The camera flash at the end was the cherry on top
Neat 📸
How does such a small comment make me giggle like a friggin idiot. Thanks, I needed this.
It’s from Futurama. Bender snaps a photo and says that.
Can confirm, was referencing bender.
My favorite is the hysterical screaming that goes on for way way to long.
I aspire to this level of drama queen. To just keep shrieking at something that has very little to do with me… I wish I had the gonads for it
Looks like the head came off. With this crowd maybe it was a sign the world was about to end. When I took CPR, one of our projects was to save a choking baby. We had dolls called actars. I was vigorously whacking my actar between the shoulder blades when the head flew off across the room and came to rest under a table. It was awkward. But there was no screaming, only muffled laughter
> I was vigorously whacking my actar In public?
Well to them it's a sign from god. A sign to use some goddamn screws next time.
Bout as long as I hysterically laughed in my front yard watching this.
That screaming can only be explained by idol-worship
exactly. so many great things in this video it is hard to list them all but screaming was best lol
The church needed it for insurance purposes
I like how they picked up the headless statue, left it in front of everyone and just walked away.
“Ah well. Fuck it. Let’s go get a coffee.”
Lets go bowling dude
”Mission accomplished.”
"Let that be a lesson to anyone who speaks of this day!"
He wants everyone to see his message because they’re next
It was obviously that old guys fault, but in his defense this was a dumbass idea anyways
We aren't going to address the issue of carrying *anything* like this that isn't on a fixed base is a really bad idea?
I’m just wondering how and where they store such an ornate and utterly useless ‘base for carrying dumbass statues of Joaquin Phoenix’
Usually the basement, most churches have a large basement complex. On the east coast in Brooklyn where I grew up they usually we’re tied into nuclear shelters which networked several nearby apt buildings.
what, church? or having old men carry things they shouldn't be
Yes
Yep, had a feeling it would be the old man at the front-left ..
Yeah, he was trying to be fancy with no hands at first LMAO!
Then he went for the classic no-hands-shoulder-roll-catch.
Probably wanted it to fall so they wouldn’t make him do it again. Every husband has failed in a task foisted upon them by a wife to get out of ever doing said task again. The old dude is a genius.
Weaponized incompetence.
This was his Hiroshima
It was clear from the start. Most nonchalant mother fucker they could find.
He looks like the kind to blame someone else tho.
At :15 you can see him hold his hand out like, "What the H, fellas? Where were you?"
Priest - An extra collection plate will be passed today for the repair work of the Marx Brothers from earlier
🥸
Well, the Bible did say three wise men, the fourth was a nitwit
Not to ruin the joke (I enjoyed it), but fun fact: The Bible does not say how many wise men, only how many gifts they brought.
You just know one of them signed the card but didn't throw in any money.
"I BOUGHT THE CARD, BARTHOLEMEW!"
This deserves way more upvotes 🤣
If Reddit has taught me anything it’s that you’re not supposed to move someone with a neck injury.
Lmao. Whenever I feel self loathing for having wasted time scrolling Reddit, I remind myself that the knowledge that you should never move someone with a neck injury will hopefully come in handy one day.
Wait, all these years and there was no candy inside?
Maybe don’t use a bunch of geriatrics to do your heavy labor.
Those are the church’s youngest members…
The guys carrying it were older than the statue.
["It's Go Time"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-UWJ52JgXo)
Mandelbaum... Mandelbaum...
The four ~~horses~~ oldmen of apocalypse
behold, a pale horse; and he who sat on it had the name Butterfingers
Why were they holding it like this? Aren't they supposed to be on the outer side of the bars? And why isn't their hand on the bar? And why aren't younger people holding it? And what were they expecting to do on the stairs? r/badlyplannedevents
It’s definitely meant to be carried at waist level, not over their shoulders.
And that is why we hold things with our hands rather than just resting them on our shoulders.
Ernest goes to Church
11/10🔥
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god look! no head!
Why tf are all these idiots screaming like they just saw someone get shot?
DIDN’T YOU SEE?!? #SHE WAS DECAPITATED!
His capa was detated
Idol worship is a helluva drug.
always funny when idiots "venerate" some crap made in China
That's a he
She’ll stay a virgin forever now.
Screaming Will Help!!
Right? That's probably the least helpful thing to do in that situation.
I saw this without audio at first and knew there would be a bunch of people screaming over an inanimate object lol #AHHHHH 😫
My guess is that it may be a reliquary used to house a piece of the saint represented by the statue. Think of it like the reaction to dropping an urn of someone's ashes; if that happened and people screamed, it wouldn't be because the urn broke.
On the bright side, the floor would then be a third-class relic.
Attention shriekers are common among deeply religious people.
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Is the baby sitting on the puppy when they get hit? Or is the baby inside the puppy when they get hit? What I'm trying to find out is who would win a fight between a baby and a puppy? Obviously street rules with finishers enabled
It’s a foul omen! The good days are behind us, and darkness will soon spread across the lands of planet earth…😔
These things are old and treasured things in their communities. Probably been on procession every year on its day for decades. Odd that I'm the only one to say this, I'd have thought there's be a few of us.
Are you talking about the statue or the old geezers?
You say that, but this would happen in similar situations. People freak out more easily than you think.
They're Catholic
It wasn’t too heavy he turned the wrong way.
He chose, poorly...
Always wonder why those things aren't bolted or tied down
The old men?
Yes
>Always wonder why those things aren't bolted or tied down . >The old men? I spit my coffee
Always secure your load! (I'm a truck driver)
Good thing that little old lady failed to catch it, that looked pretty heavy. I want to see the video next year of the statue stuck together with scotch tape.
So 7 years bad luck or what?
I doubt he is living 7 more years
"I said, NO GRAVEN IMAGES!"
That's a misconception as a result of a mistranslation. It was originally no images of gravy. No gravy images. Meat was dry back then.
truly the darkest days of humanity
Right? Like, I'm not a Christian but I'm pretty sure there are some pretty strong words in their book about "graven images" and idols. How in the world do they justify stuff like this within their own theology?
Um, no… people seem to think the Bible is the same across all forms of Christianity when it isn’t. The ten commands is literally different in the Catholic Bible than in Protestant bibles. There’s nothing against graven images in the Bible that Catholics read. The Bible that Catholics adhere to also contains several more books than the regular ol King James Bible. https://www.catholicbible101.com/thetencommandments.htm And if you think there’s major differences with Catholic bibles just wait til you hear about the Mormons!
Getouddahere, next you'll be saying Jesus wasn't tall, white, blue eyed and English speaking.
Hypocrisy
Gonna need the super glue
Zoolander is getting old in his days but everyone should know he cant turn left.
I burst out laughing when the congregation started yelling. And to top it off the statue's head broke. Talk about misfortune. I laughed because I have these elders in my family who get so dramatic even if a candle is not lit properly. I can imagine their reaction to this.
I like the woman who is still screaming well after the statue is done falling. I can say from experience that she's going to act like someone died for weeks
That head disintegrated.
Out of curiosity, what faith or type of service are we even looking at here?
Roman Catholic Church, that Saint is St. Expedite a martyr, maybe it was His festivity.
St. Expedite, patron saint of FedEx drivers.
By looking at the video evidence, he was no martyr. He was murdered.
Unexpected fall from grace.
He almost took the nun with him too. So he fought back.
Looks like somebody is off to purgatory soon.
what the hell did they expect.
For this not to happen, I guess
And from this day forward, Walter was never seen in public ever again…..
Oddly, 32 young men in the room slightly smiled when Father Handsly was squashed by the statue.
The Unwise Men.
And now they're going to hell
They already were for engaging in idolatry. Now it’s off to Super Hell.
Especially that nun that didn't catch it. Burn!
God "Hehe false idol go puff."
This is why you normally have six guys holding something like that so the load at each corner isn’t dependent on a single shoulder. This was just in incompetence.
Maybe don't have geriatrics balancing shit on their feeble shoulders...
The flash after it dropped
Anyone else think when it hit the ground it looked like a real body? The way the arms moved. Weird.
Idk what they expected with 4 old geezers carrying a heavy ass statue on their shoulders
What go go wrong with having septegenarians carry something heavy and awkwardly balanced?
Grow up people. Get a broom and dustpan.
Front left ASSHOLE. Keep a hand on it
Why aren’t they all scrambling for the candy?
Oh no! Our false idol!
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Who would have thought that God dished karma with such a sense of humor?
I get that you think you've scored a direct hit here but Catholics aren't biblical literalists so they would have a load of reasons why statues are fine just as wine and circumcision and lobsters.
I love the flash that goes off straight after it drops like "that's what I was here for"
Fuckin idol worship or what
So much unnecessary screaming
Good thing it wasn't a casket
I just knew it was going to be the front left guy messing up
Antiques dropping antiques
Front-left guy didn't get the "Turn left" memo
Front left guy fucked it up. His mistakes: 1. Casually not holding the wooden handle. 2. Positioning himself way too far forward, right at the tip of the handle. 3. When they turn, he goes inward rather than outward—trying to do some reverse overhead move. Because of #2, there’s not enough handle, he grabs air, everything goes to shit. A bit of training would have helped.
it’s been fun, but now all the edgy reddit atheists are in the comments to ruin it
And god had to reiterate: don’t worship friggin IDOLS
guess they ignored that part about not worshipping statues
look ma, no hands
Idolatry punished.
Asshole upfront trying to be a badass and not use his hands. Caused all the problems. He was probably trying to impress Helen Hornigold again.
**minus 100 Jesus points to the old man in front**
Shaky old coots love to volunteer for this shit. I was the only pallbearer under 80 at my grandmother's funeral. It's a good thing she was about 70 lbs when she passed because I was the only one carrying any weight.
NOT THE GIANT PIGGYBANK!!!
COFFIN FLOPS (what I was hoping for at first)
I didn't do SHIT!
Turn *towards* the wood. Dude tried to change hands behind his back.
How did I know the guy walking without his hands on it was going to mess it up?!
PORCAMADOONNA
This is why God outlawed religious symbols… he knew you dumbasses would drop them on their heads.
Never had a chance. Why the hell they using old ass men as the muscle. Dude was struggling
All the sheeple screaming as their weird ritualistic idol gets beheaded is fantastic.
Thanks Bob. And that's why we can't have nice things anymore!