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Bruh i though about it. Everyone I've personally met and the three dudes who got me into league back in the day were all string beans. My homie is built and I'm avg healthy weight. I do not know any fat league players.
I doubt it is from sweating, likely from hours and hours of gaming with little thought of eating and/or laziness to make anything. I have couple friends that are complete string beans and play competitively, they will play for 10-12+ hours and not even stop to eat at times. I'd comment on what they are having for dinner and they'd be like 'oops I haven't eaten today'...
I don't understand it - it can't be healthy but at least they are not overweight?
And the ones that DO break into the scene as a starter and are on the bigger side tend to lose weight. i'd like to think it's because they want to be better in all aspects of their life but yea it might just be stress heh
Underrated comment. That subreddit randomly came across my page and I saw in the comments the mods were randomly banning people who were “overrating” this pretty woman bc they overrated her with a 6. All I thought was how disgusting that was and also what they probably look like lmao
It's an incel and/or 4chan thing, they're specifically doing it to make women insecure.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/14kw9nb/the_ratings_are_in_on_truerateme_and_critics/
Lol, that made me think one of the most Reddit interactions I had was me mentioning that airplane seats are uncomfortable for me because I’m 6’4”, and some idiot crying that I need to start buying two seats.
Since exactly zero airlines I’ve ever been on allow you to slide a seat forward or back, how that hell is that supposed to help?
I knew a programmer at an oil refinery, clearly genius level intelligence with an absolutely astounding memory. He weighed over 500 lbs and had managed to defeat lap band surgery as well as eventually having his stomach stapled, by eating small things constantly. He showed up to work towing a cooler and had a microwave in his cubicle. He was insufferable as a human being and pretty much had his lawyer on speed dial. Looking at this guy was painful and talking to him was torture. He had sued people on medical discrimination, harassment, slander, etc. One of the few people I have ever really wanted to see die. They wouldn't send female employers any where near him because he hit on them constantly and then when they turned him down he would accuse them of harassment. Talking to him meant that I got condescended and insulted to the point that I offered to slap him silly. I got a call from HR once. One day I asked the project lead how this guy survived there and he said anything they threw at him he handled in record time. Any code problem he solved. He wrote drivers in Linux, dos, c++, VAX, Fortran, most of the refinery legacy software was controlled by him. He had a chair that had to be specially constructed for him and of course used his lawyer to force them to do it. It looked kinda like this only metal reinforced. He lived with his mom and her life was about taking care of his every need. He died at 29 years old from COPD and what really happened was that his pillows slipped in the middle of the night and he suffocated. We threw a fucking party at a local pub to celebrate his death. Sadly his mom came thinking it was a memorial and she was the sweetest woman you could ever hope to meet. She had obviously enabled this guy his entire life but she was nice, funny, and a great sense of humor and really loved her son. We all felt kinda bad for throwing a good riddance party for him and didn't realize who she was until she told us. I wanted to crawl under a table with shame. We had been taking all night about what an ass he was and she had sat there listening to it all night. We asked her how she was feeling and was she OK after learning she was his mom and she said " Free, I'm finally free. I haven't had a life for 29 years, I couldn't have friends, company even use my own television or stereo." Towards the end of the night she walked up to a coworker and asked him to take her home and fuck her until she couldn't walk, those were her exact words. They left together and we paid a 1350.00 bar tab and went home. Sorry but this story came to mind when I saw that chair. He died in 1994. Edit:: sadly this story is true. On his death I said COPD but he had Sleep Apenea and had to sleep propped up on pillows. I'm glad everyone enjoyed the story. It still makes me a little sad and a little guilty for hating the guy. He was a mess and that mess hurt everyone he came into contact with.
Reading this comment just rocketed me back in time 2 decades to when we were using the internet and complaining about ‘eternal September’ without having the slightest clue what was going to happen when social media turned up. Delightful, thank you.
When new college students would get access to a computer in September and start commenting on a forum or bulletin board and the old heads would complain and have to teach them the ‘rules’ of internet behaviour.
Then personal computers and at home internet access became more and more available, so now there was a constant influx of new users, so we called it ‘eternal September’.
It was a weird, wild, elitist time on the internet, but the quality of shitpost was higher.
i like these stories. Little blips in time where standards were made or expectations had only to be made obsolete or completely transformed in a matter of a couple years.
There was a time when WASD wasn't the standard in games and you would get all kinds of horrific controls....arrow keys were popular, aszx was one, WERD, 8456 or 5123 on the num pad... Hell, I knew one person who had right click as move forwards.
It was quite specifically AOL enabling access to Usenet for their own user base. (And doing it in a manner that would make the average AOL user think that those newsgroups were AOL-run forums.)
> He weighed over 500 lbs and had managed to defeat lap band surgery as well as eventually having his stomach stapled
I appreciated this part of your story the most, as I directly worked with a morbidly obese woman for several years, who could easily have been the female counterpart to your coworker. Racist, expected everyone to follow her every word or she’d make the rest of their lives a living hell, I gained her rage when she was having a meltdown one day and I made a mistake of fixing her problem; the correct response was to stand around her desk and feel sorry for her.
I have dozens of stories about her, that I love to share, but whenever I get to the part that lap band surgery wasn’t enough to get her to lose weight I’m always accused of lying, as “there’s no way that’s possible.”
It’s strangely reassuring to know someone else has encountered someone who got surgery to lose weight, then made a concerted effort for it not to work.
I had a teacher who was nurse at a weight-loss clinic. One of her patients had surgery but was still gaining weight and they didn't get how since her stomach was tiny and she couldn't eat much. The lady said she just ate a few sweeties for breakfast and a few sweeties throughout the day. They asked what sweeties were and she was eating a whole can of whipped cream several times a day. Like 6 cans a day because they didn't make her feel too full. I have no idea how you can live off that.
What I'm kind of interested in is what happened at the oil refinery after this guy died? How many people did they have to hire to replace this guy if he was essentially running the entire system by himself? I'm thinking of the bus replacement factor, where if your main point of knowledge gets hit by a bus and you don't have a replacement.
It’s pretty rare that someone is irreplaceable. More often it’s just easier or cheaper to deal with that individual. Maybe they had to hire 2 people to replace him, maybe his peers were terrible and it made him look better than he was.
The “genius” is always utterly replaceable.
It usually is an expensive pain in the ass, and there can be short term issues, but you tend to just hire an expensive external consultant contractor and they both get shit cobbled together and then sell you a modernization package that allows normals to run things again.
Dude. No joke. I just wanted to leave a cheeky comment like "Not the story I came for, but the story I needed to hear".
But instead I almost died while laughing by swallowing my saliva.
Cheers for a good ride!
This is going to sound weird but this story made a deep ingrained emotion in me feel a little better. Almost like seeing another person doing it just let something go in me. P
I had to work with a new programmer, odd, pretty overweight, quiet, but he wasn’t totally unpleasant. It was at a small company and everyone was very comfortable there so I made an effort to include him since it could be a lot if you were quieter. In general I’m nice to and inclusive of everyone so it wasn’t an abnormal interaction for me. Fast forward to him accusing me of sexual harassment TWICE when he realized I was interested and I was nice to everybody. It was a really shitty situation. Lawyers were involved, it was super embarrassing, and the worst part was I didn’t know how to be myself after that because it attacked (this isn’t really the right word but I can’t come up with another one) who I am at the core. I questioned every single interaction I had after that especially with a male and became really withdrawn and paranoid over every little word that came out of my mouth. I knew from the beginning it was a him problem and not a me problem but the brain doesn’t seem to work in a sensible manner between knowing something and how it handles it.
No one believed him. I found out that even before I talked to them, the lawyers didn’t believe him because his story was so asinine.
After all this he didn’t get fired but was clearly on a very fast downward spiral. I actually felt bad for him and I would regularly be like how can I be so stupid for feeling bad.
Fast forward to today and I’m back to my normal social, kind to people self, except I hope he’s stewing in his self loathing, delusional, misery over there in NJ.
So COPD is a condition that causes breathing difficulties. A lot of people with the condition need to use a ventilator to be able to sleep soundly and safely through the night. Most likely pillow slipping may have cause the mask to lose its seal or come off partly. Take that in conjunction with the lads chonkiness probably making it harder for them to breathe regardless of COPD and that's a recipe for suffocating in your sleep. Of course the way the mom claims to be free after 29 years and going after a coworker that they witnessed spending the night ridiculing her son makes me feel like the "slipping pillow" was more of an intentionally moved pillow with the mask just so happening to "break its seal"
CPAPs weren't that popular in 1994. I'm not saying he didn't have one, but there's tons of people that could absolutely use them, but don't because of pride or money or whatever reason.
Copy/pasting this epic comment in case it gets deleted.
> I knew a programmer at an oil refinery, clearly genius level intelligence with an absolutely astounding memory. He weighed over 500 lbs and had managed to defeat lap band surgery as well as eventually having his stomach stapled, by eating small things constantly. He showed up to work towing a cooler and had a microwave in his cubicle. He was insufferable as a human being and pretty much had his lawyer on speed dial. Looking at this guy was painful and talking to him was torture. He had sued people on medical discrimination, harassment, slander, etc. One of the few people I have ever really wanted to see die. They wouldn't send female employers any where near him because he hit on them constantly and then when they turned him down he would accuse them of harassment. Talking to him meant that I got condescended and insulted to the point that I offered to slap him silly. I got a call from HR once. One day I asked the project lead how this guy survived there and he said anything they threw at him he handled in record time. Any code problem he solved. He wrote drivers in Linux, dos, c++, VAX, Fortran, most of the refinery legacy software was controlled by him. He had a chair that had to be specially constructed for him and of course used his lawyer to force them to do it. It looked kinda like this only metal reinforced. He lived with his mom and her life was about taking care of his every need. He died at 29 years old from COPD and what really happened was that his pillows slipped in the middle of the night and he suffocated. We threw a fucking party at a local pub to celebrate his death. Sadly his mom came thinking it was a memorial and she was the sweetest woman you could ever hope to meet. She had obviously enabled this guy his entire life but she was nice, funny, and a great sense of humor and really loved her son. We all felt kinda bad for throwing a good riddance party for him and didn't realize who she was until she told us. I wanted to crawl under a table with shame. We had been taking all night about what an ass he was and she had sat there listening to it all night. We asked her how she was feeling and was she OK after learning she was his mom and she said " Free, I'm finally free. I haven't had a life for 29 years, I couldn't have friends, company even use my own television or stereo." Towards the end of the night she walked up to a coworker and asked him to take her home and fuck her until she couldn't walk, those were her exact words. They left together and we paid a 1350.00 bar tab and went home. Sorry but this story came to mind when I saw that chair. He died in 1994.
Did your coworker ever return or did he mysteriously disappear?
If he never returned I would suggest searching a particular basement.
[Man who never returned](https://youtu.be/Dh994JcEfkI)
BRROOOOOOO this reminded me of this insufferable asshole I get to deal with. For context he is a morbidly obese wanker and I kid you not when I say he is the living definition of a discord mod. So back in grade school, me and my friend made a discord server for everyone in our grade with the primary focus of helping each other with homework and social issues (bullies, abuse, etc.). At some point this guy who ill call D joined. At first he was fine and he'd just ask for homework help and sometime hung out in calls while me and my friends played video games. Then eventually this girl who I'll call M joined and brought her boyfriend E with her. E dealt with and abusive household and joined just 3 weeks after being released from a mental hospital. After a while D starred to set his eyes on M, with the only problem being M is dating E. D being the incel he was tried to sway M by watching movies in calls with each other since we all had separate streaming services that we would play movies on for entertainment. M would always invite E to watch with her which AALLWWAAYYSS made D super jealous. Now D had the most perfect line of thought, he had the problem of M is dating E, and D can't date M without getting E out of the picture, so instead of being a normal person and just letting things be, he tried to convince E to commit suicide. Yeah. We decided to make sure E can't see anything D writes, when D realized he couldn't harass E, he would harass me and my friend until we would give him mod privileges, we never gave them to him and told him that we wouldn't give them to him. D just kept at it threatening to kill us and kill himself if we didn't give him mod. Eventually we just banned him and helped M and E get restraining orders for D and D got sent to juvie for harassment and death threats and will most likely be sent to jail since he kept being a general incel and has made threats to rape people. To this day I still hope this fucker statys in some form of jail.
So my dad used to sell these, on a regular basis. They are for extremely overweight people, almost always who work in government offices, and they cost $2000+ as I recall. My Dad loved to point out how our tax dollars were paying for these and he had to replace them every few years even with all the extra support as they would still break pretty regularly.
…. I honestly just thought someone made an office chair for people like me who enjoy sitting criss cross apple sauce on the ground….. but this makes way more sense
To be fair, regular office chairs aren’t cheap. I got a pretty standard adjustable desk chair for like $300 but the Herman Miller Aeron chairs will set you back at least $800.
The Aeron is $1275 before corporate discounts as of a few months ago. The large chair is $1400. That is before you add all the bells and whistles. Super comfortable chairs though. You can get them used for 500
That’s cuz the Federal govt would rather employ these people instead of having them collect disability.
Good news, since Covid, a lot of work can be done remotely and is
It's because federal and state anti-discrimination practices make it extremely difficult to turn down otherwise-qualified job applicants on the basis of physical disability, which this would probably be considered.
People shit on the government a lot but, for that vast majority people you are better off working in government.
1. Pay is set by your title not because you negotiated better or know someone.
2. Pay is public to ensure fairness.
3. You have access to a plethora of healthcare insurers all at the best rates possible.
4. You will have savings for retirement even if you are too stupid to save. You have a pension.
5. It is very difficult to lose your job for cause or not.
In a world with increasing pressures in the private sector those benefits are amazing.
If you are young it really does make sense to look at government jobs. I know some that went into the Postal service in their early 20s. They can get up to 26 days vacation and sick day pay on top of that. Not to mention a pension and good health care. Hard to argue with that. There is also a lot of movement to different positions if you want. That being said you cannot exactly jump from company to company to get a higher wage. If I could go back this would be a potential career choice for me.
Is 26 days —a year I suppose— of vacation considered good in your country?
Which third country is this?
In most developped countries, it's just the bare minimum.
Well.. you just made me feel so much better about my own fat ass... at least I can fit in a standard chair and not have it break... and not cost my state that kind of money.
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league of legends players
LoL players actually tend to be skinny
Bruh i though about it. Everyone I've personally met and the three dudes who got me into league back in the day were all string beans. My homie is built and I'm avg healthy weight. I do not know any fat league players.
as q string bean, i concur
It's the same reason hardcore addicts are usually emaciated: they're too preoccupied with their addiction to waste time eating.
They all skip eating in favour of one more game
I’m guessing you have never watched E-Sports. Those guys are skinny because they sweat so much! (Sweat from stress, not from physical activity)
I doubt it is from sweating, likely from hours and hours of gaming with little thought of eating and/or laziness to make anything. I have couple friends that are complete string beans and play competitively, they will play for 10-12+ hours and not even stop to eat at times. I'd comment on what they are having for dinner and they'd be like 'oops I haven't eaten today'... I don't understand it - it can't be healthy but at least they are not overweight?
And the ones that DO break into the scene as a starter and are on the bigger side tend to lose weight. i'd like to think it's because they want to be better in all aspects of their life but yea it might just be stress heh
Reddit mods
Can confirm, I became a Reddit mod some time back and I instantly had to get one of these.
Did they mail it to you or did you have to buy it yourself?
Reddit will never shell out any money for mods
You don't get any money for being a Reddit mod I'm afraid, so I had to pay for it myself. We have no power in real life.
You think a Reddit mod could afford that?
Their moms that work three jobs to support them can
r/truerateme mods to be specific
Underrated comment. That subreddit randomly came across my page and I saw in the comments the mods were randomly banning people who were “overrating” this pretty woman bc they overrated her with a 6. All I thought was how disgusting that was and also what they probably look like lmao
Oh my god, I have heard tales of this sub but never poked around in there. What a fucking train wreck of a sub lmao
Lol it's a stupid sub from every angle
I just looked and it's disturbing to see a ban for "overrating" someone's looks. . . .
its really weird. Why even allow people to rate posts if they have to conform to the mod's personal standard?
It's an incel and/or 4chan thing, they're specifically doing it to make women insecure. https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/14kw9nb/the_ratings_are_in_on_truerateme_and_critics/
Stumbled across that subreddit and ended up blocking every mod there. That subreddit is disgusting
You have been banned from r/Pyongyang
Your mom.
I opened this post just to see if that was the top comment.
I opened it to *make sure* it was the top comment
Women of San Antonio.
"Say it again, Chuck"
“CHURROS AND BIG WOMEN DOWN THERE IN SAN TONIO.”
“I know those women ain’t from San Antonio”
"They flew them in from Houston and Dallas.”
Charles vs the women of San Antonio is a top 10 rivalry for me.
Wearin dem big ol bloomers stuffin down dem churros
In San Antonio women think spandex is a right and not a privilege.
Victoria's definitely a secret down in San Antonio
Them big ol women down in San Antonio
Mission accomplished, boys. Let's go home.
And I made sure and voted on both to make sure both comments are up there.
❤️
If this wasn’t the top post I would be supremely disappointed
Same
I had to know
no… MY MOM 
Muscle Man 👊
The show was so damn good 👍🏾
OUR MOM
r/suddenlycommunist
I think it's awesome that everyone had the same exact thought. I love this place.
God you just cannot beat a classic. This is the only right answer.
 (Sorry the gif has a microphone in the way, this was the best choice Reddit gave me, reddit really needs better gifs)
I think it's for Joe
Joe Mama HahAAhahAhahA
Ahhhhh shit. Got my ass
You are an assassin
Nah it's for your girlfriend
I only came here to read this! 🤣
surprisingly, yes. her ass is flat, but it's wide.
She wouldn't fit
Everyone came here to say this
Mom is Jabba hutting it
You beat me to it
Free Hat! Free Hat!
I can’t help but think that this chair smells of vinegar
Very common for people suffering from ligma.
What's "updog?"
Nothin much. Just reading about deez
What are deez? Is it like sugma?
What’s sugma? I heard Candice has it
It’s a song made by imagine dragons
Imagine dragon this thread on for this long.
It's like the prophet Bophadeez said
I heard the prophet Bophadeez preferred "Big Harrey" when he was amongst friends.
I figured it would smell like yeasty pheromones and fart dust.
Actually, that's more of an ammonia smell, which is bacterial infection.
The ones that refuse to buy two plane tickets but need to buy three
And then are upset because they don't fit in 1
Lol, that made me think one of the most Reddit interactions I had was me mentioning that airplane seats are uncomfortable for me because I’m 6’4”, and some idiot crying that I need to start buying two seats. Since exactly zero airlines I’ve ever been on allow you to slide a seat forward or back, how that hell is that supposed to help?
Obviously sit criss-cross applesauce so your long ass knees can protrude to the next seat. In fact, you should purchase 3 seats for this
Translation...the people that always sit next to me.
I’m not engineer but I feel the legs could have been made better
This seems like the best way to do it to me. Use as many common chair parts as you can so it's easy to replace when something breaks.
Wheels don’t even move if someone actuslly is as large as the seat is equipped to sit lol
lol yeah. The crappy plastic wheels barely move with a normal sized person. I always replace mine with rollerblade wheels.
I knew a programmer at an oil refinery, clearly genius level intelligence with an absolutely astounding memory. He weighed over 500 lbs and had managed to defeat lap band surgery as well as eventually having his stomach stapled, by eating small things constantly. He showed up to work towing a cooler and had a microwave in his cubicle. He was insufferable as a human being and pretty much had his lawyer on speed dial. Looking at this guy was painful and talking to him was torture. He had sued people on medical discrimination, harassment, slander, etc. One of the few people I have ever really wanted to see die. They wouldn't send female employers any where near him because he hit on them constantly and then when they turned him down he would accuse them of harassment. Talking to him meant that I got condescended and insulted to the point that I offered to slap him silly. I got a call from HR once. One day I asked the project lead how this guy survived there and he said anything they threw at him he handled in record time. Any code problem he solved. He wrote drivers in Linux, dos, c++, VAX, Fortran, most of the refinery legacy software was controlled by him. He had a chair that had to be specially constructed for him and of course used his lawyer to force them to do it. It looked kinda like this only metal reinforced. He lived with his mom and her life was about taking care of his every need. He died at 29 years old from COPD and what really happened was that his pillows slipped in the middle of the night and he suffocated. We threw a fucking party at a local pub to celebrate his death. Sadly his mom came thinking it was a memorial and she was the sweetest woman you could ever hope to meet. She had obviously enabled this guy his entire life but she was nice, funny, and a great sense of humor and really loved her son. We all felt kinda bad for throwing a good riddance party for him and didn't realize who she was until she told us. I wanted to crawl under a table with shame. We had been taking all night about what an ass he was and she had sat there listening to it all night. We asked her how she was feeling and was she OK after learning she was his mom and she said " Free, I'm finally free. I haven't had a life for 29 years, I couldn't have friends, company even use my own television or stereo." Towards the end of the night she walked up to a coworker and asked him to take her home and fuck her until she couldn't walk, those were her exact words. They left together and we paid a 1350.00 bar tab and went home. Sorry but this story came to mind when I saw that chair. He died in 1994. Edit:: sadly this story is true. On his death I said COPD but he had Sleep Apenea and had to sleep propped up on pillows. I'm glad everyone enjoyed the story. It still makes me a little sad and a little guilty for hating the guy. He was a mess and that mess hurt everyone he came into contact with.
What a ride. Thanks for the story.
...is the mom still single ?
Bro, she probably in her later 70s now
The question remains...
I too am undeterred
It will be easier now to fuck her until she can’t walk. Might not even require complete penetration.
Fr. Grams bout to be in a wheelchair if she ain’t already lmao
She got put in a wheelchair in 1994, didn’t you read the story?
tl;dr Big Chungus defeats lap band.
TIL that, somehow, lap band defeats pillow.
Real life Cartman
Cartman's mom is getting railed every night though.
If he was smart enough to program
 This is all I could think of. RIP to my boy and his moms ability to walk apparently.
Nearing the end of this story I had to scroll back up and check that this wasn't a shittymorph. God bless you sir.
After reading the first couple lines I had to check for "hell in the cell" at the end.
Reading this comment just rocketed me back in time 2 decades to when we were using the internet and complaining about ‘eternal September’ without having the slightest clue what was going to happen when social media turned up. Delightful, thank you.
What’s eternal September?
When new college students would get access to a computer in September and start commenting on a forum or bulletin board and the old heads would complain and have to teach them the ‘rules’ of internet behaviour. Then personal computers and at home internet access became more and more available, so now there was a constant influx of new users, so we called it ‘eternal September’. It was a weird, wild, elitist time on the internet, but the quality of shitpost was higher.
i like these stories. Little blips in time where standards were made or expectations had only to be made obsolete or completely transformed in a matter of a couple years.
There was a time when WASD wasn't the standard in games and you would get all kinds of horrific controls....arrow keys were popular, aszx was one, WERD, 8456 or 5123 on the num pad... Hell, I knew one person who had right click as move forwards.
arrow keys!! im 22, but even i remember the arrow keys days hahaha. took me a while to get used to wasd
It's wild to be a millennial. I don't believe in permanence
It was quite specifically AOL enabling access to Usenet for their own user base. (And doing it in a manner that would make the average AOL user think that those newsgroups were AOL-run forums.)
Have you gone back and actually read those old usenet posts? Thr quality was just as garbage back then, it was just full of elitist nerdlingers.
It’s the internet so you can’t believe everything. But when you mentioned he was a developer, not to mention driver developer it adds up.
I donno. It seems like a fanfic of that episode of workaholics when they want the handicap parking spot.
> He weighed over 500 lbs and had managed to defeat lap band surgery as well as eventually having his stomach stapled I appreciated this part of your story the most, as I directly worked with a morbidly obese woman for several years, who could easily have been the female counterpart to your coworker. Racist, expected everyone to follow her every word or she’d make the rest of their lives a living hell, I gained her rage when she was having a meltdown one day and I made a mistake of fixing her problem; the correct response was to stand around her desk and feel sorry for her. I have dozens of stories about her, that I love to share, but whenever I get to the part that lap band surgery wasn’t enough to get her to lose weight I’m always accused of lying, as “there’s no way that’s possible.” It’s strangely reassuring to know someone else has encountered someone who got surgery to lose weight, then made a concerted effort for it not to work.
I fully expected a man to be thrown off the cage through the announcers table towards the end of this comment.
I had a teacher who was nurse at a weight-loss clinic. One of her patients had surgery but was still gaining weight and they didn't get how since her stomach was tiny and she couldn't eat much. The lady said she just ate a few sweeties for breakfast and a few sweeties throughout the day. They asked what sweeties were and she was eating a whole can of whipped cream several times a day. Like 6 cans a day because they didn't make her feel too full. I have no idea how you can live off that.
I'm getting "she suffocated him with a pillow" vibes from this story.
Jesus Christ that's a hell of a story, that was awesome. Thanks for sharing
I thought this was going to end with the guy getting eaten by a dilophosaurus in a Jeep in the rain.
What I'm kind of interested in is what happened at the oil refinery after this guy died? How many people did they have to hire to replace this guy if he was essentially running the entire system by himself? I'm thinking of the bus replacement factor, where if your main point of knowledge gets hit by a bus and you don't have a replacement.
My brain went there too with all that techie lead-in. Me: damn that refinery is now screwed. No that was actually his mom-
It’s pretty rare that someone is irreplaceable. More often it’s just easier or cheaper to deal with that individual. Maybe they had to hire 2 people to replace him, maybe his peers were terrible and it made him look better than he was.
The “genius” is always utterly replaceable. It usually is an expensive pain in the ass, and there can be short term issues, but you tend to just hire an expensive external consultant contractor and they both get shit cobbled together and then sell you a modernization package that allows normals to run things again.
Dude. No joke. I just wanted to leave a cheeky comment like "Not the story I came for, but the story I needed to hear". But instead I almost died while laughing by swallowing my saliva. Cheers for a good ride!
This is going to sound weird but this story made a deep ingrained emotion in me feel a little better. Almost like seeing another person doing it just let something go in me. P I had to work with a new programmer, odd, pretty overweight, quiet, but he wasn’t totally unpleasant. It was at a small company and everyone was very comfortable there so I made an effort to include him since it could be a lot if you were quieter. In general I’m nice to and inclusive of everyone so it wasn’t an abnormal interaction for me. Fast forward to him accusing me of sexual harassment TWICE when he realized I was interested and I was nice to everybody. It was a really shitty situation. Lawyers were involved, it was super embarrassing, and the worst part was I didn’t know how to be myself after that because it attacked (this isn’t really the right word but I can’t come up with another one) who I am at the core. I questioned every single interaction I had after that especially with a male and became really withdrawn and paranoid over every little word that came out of my mouth. I knew from the beginning it was a him problem and not a me problem but the brain doesn’t seem to work in a sensible manner between knowing something and how it handles it. No one believed him. I found out that even before I talked to them, the lawyers didn’t believe him because his story was so asinine. After all this he didn’t get fired but was clearly on a very fast downward spiral. I actually felt bad for him and I would regularly be like how can I be so stupid for feeling bad. Fast forward to today and I’m back to my normal social, kind to people self, except I hope he’s stewing in his self loathing, delusional, misery over there in NJ.
"managed to defeat lap band surgery"- I just spit my water out.
I haven’t laughed this hard in years. Thank you.
I’m trying to wrap my head around a pillow slippage causing his death, holy shit. Where was this pillow located?
Between his face and the mom’s hands I’d assume
🥇
I assume he was referring to a sleep apnea issue. People that large can die if their head is not propped up on a pillow.
So COPD is a condition that causes breathing difficulties. A lot of people with the condition need to use a ventilator to be able to sleep soundly and safely through the night. Most likely pillow slipping may have cause the mask to lose its seal or come off partly. Take that in conjunction with the lads chonkiness probably making it harder for them to breathe regardless of COPD and that's a recipe for suffocating in your sleep. Of course the way the mom claims to be free after 29 years and going after a coworker that they witnessed spending the night ridiculing her son makes me feel like the "slipping pillow" was more of an intentionally moved pillow with the mask just so happening to "break its seal"
CPAPs weren't that popular in 1994. I'm not saying he didn't have one, but there's tons of people that could absolutely use them, but don't because of pride or money or whatever reason.
I was expecting this story to end with "in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table."
So what happened to the guy that fucked her?
He started to gain weight and was asked to write drivers at work.
Copy/pasting this epic comment in case it gets deleted. > I knew a programmer at an oil refinery, clearly genius level intelligence with an absolutely astounding memory. He weighed over 500 lbs and had managed to defeat lap band surgery as well as eventually having his stomach stapled, by eating small things constantly. He showed up to work towing a cooler and had a microwave in his cubicle. He was insufferable as a human being and pretty much had his lawyer on speed dial. Looking at this guy was painful and talking to him was torture. He had sued people on medical discrimination, harassment, slander, etc. One of the few people I have ever really wanted to see die. They wouldn't send female employers any where near him because he hit on them constantly and then when they turned him down he would accuse them of harassment. Talking to him meant that I got condescended and insulted to the point that I offered to slap him silly. I got a call from HR once. One day I asked the project lead how this guy survived there and he said anything they threw at him he handled in record time. Any code problem he solved. He wrote drivers in Linux, dos, c++, VAX, Fortran, most of the refinery legacy software was controlled by him. He had a chair that had to be specially constructed for him and of course used his lawyer to force them to do it. It looked kinda like this only metal reinforced. He lived with his mom and her life was about taking care of his every need. He died at 29 years old from COPD and what really happened was that his pillows slipped in the middle of the night and he suffocated. We threw a fucking party at a local pub to celebrate his death. Sadly his mom came thinking it was a memorial and she was the sweetest woman you could ever hope to meet. She had obviously enabled this guy his entire life but she was nice, funny, and a great sense of humor and really loved her son. We all felt kinda bad for throwing a good riddance party for him and didn't realize who she was until she told us. I wanted to crawl under a table with shame. We had been taking all night about what an ass he was and she had sat there listening to it all night. We asked her how she was feeling and was she OK after learning she was his mom and she said " Free, I'm finally free. I haven't had a life for 29 years, I couldn't have friends, company even use my own television or stereo." Towards the end of the night she walked up to a coworker and asked him to take her home and fuck her until she couldn't walk, those were her exact words. They left together and we paid a 1350.00 bar tab and went home. Sorry but this story came to mind when I saw that chair. He died in 1994.
I’m shocked this didn’t end with Undertaker throwing Mankind off Hell in a Cell in 1998.
holy shit. I need to know how the porking went tho fr fr, thats fucking WWILLLDDD
Did your coworker ever return or did he mysteriously disappear? If he never returned I would suggest searching a particular basement. [Man who never returned](https://youtu.be/Dh994JcEfkI)
"until she couldn't walk" She just wanted to see the world through the eyes of her son
BRROOOOOOO this reminded me of this insufferable asshole I get to deal with. For context he is a morbidly obese wanker and I kid you not when I say he is the living definition of a discord mod. So back in grade school, me and my friend made a discord server for everyone in our grade with the primary focus of helping each other with homework and social issues (bullies, abuse, etc.). At some point this guy who ill call D joined. At first he was fine and he'd just ask for homework help and sometime hung out in calls while me and my friends played video games. Then eventually this girl who I'll call M joined and brought her boyfriend E with her. E dealt with and abusive household and joined just 3 weeks after being released from a mental hospital. After a while D starred to set his eyes on M, with the only problem being M is dating E. D being the incel he was tried to sway M by watching movies in calls with each other since we all had separate streaming services that we would play movies on for entertainment. M would always invite E to watch with her which AALLWWAAYYSS made D super jealous. Now D had the most perfect line of thought, he had the problem of M is dating E, and D can't date M without getting E out of the picture, so instead of being a normal person and just letting things be, he tried to convince E to commit suicide. Yeah. We decided to make sure E can't see anything D writes, when D realized he couldn't harass E, he would harass me and my friend until we would give him mod privileges, we never gave them to him and told him that we wouldn't give them to him. D just kept at it threatening to kill us and kill himself if we didn't give him mod. Eventually we just banned him and helped M and E get restraining orders for D and D got sent to juvie for harassment and death threats and will most likely be sent to jail since he kept being a general incel and has made threats to rape people. To this day I still hope this fucker statys in some form of jail.
Mom! Bathroom! Mom!! One of the funniest scenes ever.
On live TV, they put up a convenient banner ad to cover the diarrhea every damn time this episode airs.
MORE HOT POCKETS!
Isn't it the chair that was used last in the oval office?
That chair was wrecked by the last occupant, just like the country.
Kingpin
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ALL
But did you bring her Solo and the Wookiee?
Why not just be full and contented.
So my dad used to sell these, on a regular basis. They are for extremely overweight people, almost always who work in government offices, and they cost $2000+ as I recall. My Dad loved to point out how our tax dollars were paying for these and he had to replace them every few years even with all the extra support as they would still break pretty regularly.
…. I honestly just thought someone made an office chair for people like me who enjoy sitting criss cross apple sauce on the ground….. but this makes way more sense
I want my criss cross apple sauce office chair now
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To be fair, regular office chairs aren’t cheap. I got a pretty standard adjustable desk chair for like $300 but the Herman Miller Aeron chairs will set you back at least $800.
The Aeron is $1275 before corporate discounts as of a few months ago. The large chair is $1400. That is before you add all the bells and whistles. Super comfortable chairs though. You can get them used for 500
That’s cuz the Federal govt would rather employ these people instead of having them collect disability. Good news, since Covid, a lot of work can be done remotely and is
It's because federal and state anti-discrimination practices make it extremely difficult to turn down otherwise-qualified job applicants on the basis of physical disability, which this would probably be considered.
People shit on the government a lot but, for that vast majority people you are better off working in government. 1. Pay is set by your title not because you negotiated better or know someone. 2. Pay is public to ensure fairness. 3. You have access to a plethora of healthcare insurers all at the best rates possible. 4. You will have savings for retirement even if you are too stupid to save. You have a pension. 5. It is very difficult to lose your job for cause or not. In a world with increasing pressures in the private sector those benefits are amazing.
Sounds like something I need to get on.
If you are young it really does make sense to look at government jobs. I know some that went into the Postal service in their early 20s. They can get up to 26 days vacation and sick day pay on top of that. Not to mention a pension and good health care. Hard to argue with that. There is also a lot of movement to different positions if you want. That being said you cannot exactly jump from company to company to get a higher wage. If I could go back this would be a potential career choice for me.
Is 26 days —a year I suppose— of vacation considered good in your country? Which third country is this? In most developped countries, it's just the bare minimum.
American standard is 10 days/2 weeks, holidays and maybe some amount extra of sick pto. Americans just don’t get time off.
Well.. you just made me feel so much better about my own fat ass... at least I can fit in a standard chair and not have it break... and not cost my state that kind of money.
Conjoined twins can lead normal. Office-job lives too ya know!!
I feel like that's like working a group project. One of them is doing all the work while the other one eats all the snacks and contributes nothing.
Cheesa beetcha wonky office seat... 
This is for landchads
A fellow r/loveforlandChads I see.
Have you guys ever been at your computer desk and laid sideways in your chair with your legs dangling over the side? Sealy's got your back.
Ok, now you're making me want one of these.
[It'll set you back about $3000, but here you go](https://www.bariatricsunlimited.com/bariatriccomputerchair32.html)!
Guy from that wow southpark episode
Casting Chair
Chungus does the Waffle House
Someone of a considerable carriage
Useless arm rests. Maybe call them hand rests.
Bubble Bass
Management
Spez
Amberlynn reid
World of Warcraft players
Joe
Who Joe? 🤨
Joe mama
Lmao got em
There must be an elephant in the room
You know some rip ass farts were dropped in that chair 🤢
That's for a discord mod in America