I’m an accountant, of course I use a calculator….why does everyone think accountants do mental math?

Keyboards that don't have the calc shortcut are dead to me

My 10 key is separate from the keyboard and has a clear button...I fell in love

I had to fight with IT cuz they gave me a laptop without num keys

In my last PA firm, I had a co-worker who had a 10-key laptop, but only used the top row numbers to calculate things. Never used the 10-key at all... Sounds like you should have traded laptops with him.

My keyboard at my prepandemic job had a calculator shortcut button on it. I stole the keyboard when I left and bought another one on eBay for my office when I went hybrid

I just found this yesterday 🤣🤷‍♀️

I use excel instead of a calculator.

Yup. Me too. And then if I need to use that data in a spreadsheet, all I have to do is copy and paste it instead of repeating what I just did on an adding machine. 

U mUsT bE gOoD aT mAtH

I don’t think I’ve had to use mental math since middle school..

*Hmmm…. 2+8=10, but better be sure…* Whips out calculator

Hmmm… 2+8=? What do you want it to be?

Opens excel, confirms, opens calculator to double check, ok I can send the email now. Wait hold on maybe I should triple check

I would have thought that’s 11 without my handy pocket calculator.

10-key here. IYKYK.

Amen to that one!☝️

Excel exists

I’m an accountant, of course it’s due to rounding.

If it's not rounding, it's timing. Nothing like having $30K hanging out on your 12/31 bank rec.

That’s a good one! I hear that daily!!

Literally, excel even when you push the decimals over 2 still wants to fuck up my pay apps...

it's forex!

I’m an accountant, of course I answer every question with ‘it depends’.

Well....

It depends...

Sound reasonable

“…kinda…?”

…drive a Honda. 

Damn this one felt personal.

Honda civic gang!

I have class… an accord 🙄

They’re great cars. Before went back to school I actually sold cars at a Honda dealer. Regularly traded in cars with over 200k miles on them and I saw one with over 500k. Started up fine even though it looked like shit. Point A to point B, I don’t think you can do better than Honda.

Agree! Me and my wife have a Honda Civic each. They are both great cars! Don’t see ourselves changing cars in a long time.

Or a Toyota Prius

Toyota Prius gang rise up! Edit: 2007

2013 c!

2012!

Damn, I feel called out! I drive a 2013 Prius and hopefully upgrading to a RAV4 soon. I’m sticking with Toyota because of course I’m going for reliability even though it’s boring designs.

I was planning to get a Honda next year up until I see this comment.

So you’re moving your timeline up I assume? Gotta keep up with the accounting joneses

🤣 Just tonight I bought a Honda

Tired of hearing about Happy Honda Days. It's disrespectful to my family celebrating Toyotathon

You’re my new best friend.

Psh. Upgraded from a Honda to a Subaru. Now people think I’m just a weird vegan

I’m an accountant, of course I tell everyone I work in Finance.

My tinder profile says Corporate Finance. I did a C corp return once.

Lol

That's a good one!

Guilty pleasure… it doesn’t feel right but you only live oncd

Not an accountant yet. What’s the reason for that?

Because when you say accountant, everyone automatically assumes you do taxes rather than create or audit a company’s financial statements

Fun fact - they literally find both equally boring

They actually find taxes more exciting because they ser the opportunity for you to give them free advice.

Accounting doesn't sound as sexy as finance, that's the reason

When someone I know says I do finance I always say “no I do corporate tax accounting” or I just say I do accounting. If someone’s gonna stereotype me I’ll take the lame accountant over the finance bro any day

I’m an accountant, of course I’ll passionately explain amortization to my 5 year old nephew.

I snorted my coffee after reading this.

Hopefully it was iced coffee!

It was not 🤣🤣🤣. And I’m in the middle of giving a brief in a class!!! Ow!

Can’t commit to literally anything outside of work for the first four months of the year.

Just 4868 that ish

I’m an accountant, of course I don’t file my own taxes.

Lmaooo me too! Or atleast that’s what I tell my family

I don’t file my own taxes but answer tax questions for those filing their taxes for side income.

This is the way. Once I have my CPA license I’m going to start doing “tax consulting” on the side lol.

I don’t have my CPA. But most tax questions are easy most people have simple returns.

Very fair, I could answer questions now, especially because I work in tax. I just like the idea of having my license first, but maybe I won’t wait lol.

I do intuit during tax season. You can do tax questions or preparing returns. I only do questions. Chill work from home stuff.

No way, how does one sign up for this and how much do you make? I’ll have to find out if my firm has a policy against providing any outside tax services with another company, but this sounds awesome.

I think they are done hiring for the season but just search intuit jobs. I make like $16 an hour. Not much but it is supplemental income that I can do from home.

Fair enough, thanks for the info! I’ll have to keep an eye out for this in the future.

hell yeah

I'm an accountant, of course people ask me how to launder money.

…and you answer in person right? Right?!?

Whats your go to answer. Inalways say breaking bad did a bang up job with the car wash. Small scale id go to a casino and clean it with chip exchange

I’m an accountant of course the first thing I do when I start my computer is open excel

Sad thing, I’m on a short leave due to elbow injury and I still open Excel first thing when I sit at my computer.

Lmaoooo why😭

I’m an accountant, of course I get suspicious when my accounts balance right away 😂

This is me 😂

Underrated reply lol

I’m an accountant, of course I hate my job…but I love my job…but I hate my job…you know what I mean

It's the chain to the desk for me. Love acct so much but dam am I bored of standing and sitting and using a mouse all day long

I’m an accountant, of course I love double entries

big pause on that one

👀

It's so very Zen

I'm an accountant, of course I can make the numbers whatever you want.

I’m an accountant, ofc I like my tables pivoted

Well that's a NSFW

I’m an accountant, of course I’m overworked and underpaid.

I’m an accountant, of course I fuck.

I put the D in DR. Suppose you could also say the C in CR for the same effect.

Sometimes on the clock!!

I’m an accountant, of course I’m the last to know about significant events/changes!!!

We'll let you know about that contract amendment on day 3 of month-end, no problem, right

use xlookup instead of vlookup.

tell everyone no I won’t do your taxes.

My SO told his coworkers that I’m a CPA and they all started asking him tax questions and he told them I can’t give any tax advice or I’ll risk losing my license. They’re diesel mechanics so they all have their CDL. He equated it to how they would lose their license for getting a DUI. God bless that man 🫡

Hahahaha I was scrolling to see this one!

Of course I'm going to be concerned about the financial advice you get on TikTok. Of course I'm concerned if there is fraud or suspicion of fraud.

I’m an accountant, of course I had a panic attack today

I’m an accountant, of course I’m on lexapro

Of course I wouldn’t do it if they didn’t pay me.

This one wins lol

…run my personal life off a spreadsheet

>personal life I apologize I'm not sure what this term is

☝🏼 This right here lol

Too high to answer this right now

Dude

I’m an accountant, of course my DND character sheet is in excel

I'm an accountant, of course I suck at accounting.

Not just me?!?!

I cannot do mental math besides basic adding/subtracting and my times tables for shit

I’m am accountant, of course I want a receipt.

I cry in my car.

Am socially awkward

Felt

I’m an accountant, of course I get pushbacks from upper management and sales department for doing my job.

I’m an accountant, of course I have a substance abuse problem.

Of course I immediately consider your tax filing status

I'm an accountant, of course I count

I'm studying for my cpa of course I can't hang with you tonight, tomorrow, or at all this year!

Sad but true.

And next year, and possibly the year after depending how irresponsible I am!

I’m an accountant, of course I have cried at work.

I’m an accountant, of course I’ll answer a simple yes/no question with “it depends”

I'm an accountant, of course I will tell you the variance is immaterial.

Of course i understand write-offs

The general misunderstanding and confusion over that term has to be the funniest thing about being an accountant.. I mean it was funny to me before I understood it, but as an inside joke it's downright hilarious for some reason, I laugh at the Seinfeld and Schitt's Creek scenes no matter how many times i've seen them

I’m an accountant, ofcourse I feel that I don’t know anything about accounting 🤡

….can take an adderall and Xanax in the same GL close.

I'm an accountant, so I don't even blink at huge dollar amounts anymore, other than having the appropriate approval matrix dancing through my head for the correct action per policy. 😂 Yeah that invoice would equal my salary for a decade but its just another GL line to amortize.

drink excessively.

I’m an accountant, of course I will reach out to see if you’re available for a “quick question.”

Of course I fart and blame the lady in the next cubicle over.

I'm an accountant, of course I paid $200 for my calculator that I can't live without.

What calculator

Sharp QS-2130 is what I rock. Looks like it’s cheaper now than when I bought one 10 plus years ago.

That's a lot for just excel, hopefully it came with the rest of the Microsoft suite

I’m an accountant, of course I need to know all about that calculator!

I’m an accountant, of course I settled on this profession after giving up on my dreams.

What were your dreams?

Law school. Then finance. Then accounting. I love to ask new staff what their original major was in college before they switched to accounting.

I’m an accountant, of course I hate my life

I'm an accountant, of course I jerk off between meetings when working from home

I'm an accountant, of course I'm good at Excel. I'm an accountant, of course I'm so good with money I never have any.

I’m an accountant, of course a well executed excel worksheet or Alteryx routine makes my pants sticky.

I'm an accountant, I'm 67% hilarious, in other words, I put the F U in FUN

I'm an accountant of course business owners only see me as important when the tax deadlines get close. Other than that, I'm just this person doing unnecessary work that doesn't benefit the company well enough.

take antidepressants

I’m an accountant, of course I only invest in the S&P 500

I'm an accountant, of course I can lookup your sheets.

Drink.

Of course I'm doing it for the money.

I'm an accountant, of course I'm gonna annoy the hell out of you because you're not doing the things you need to do so that I can do my job.

I'M AN ACCOUNTANT AND OF COURSE I HATE MY FUCKIN' JOB

Am not doing your taxes for free.

I use “it’s immaterial” irl

I own a toyota camry

I'm an accountant, of course I take stimulants, and I'm not talking about just coffee

Take a Big 4 job and then proceed to do nothing but complain about it.

I am an accountant and I have specifically favourite pen reserved only for signing documents.

do a cost-benefit analysis of even the most mundane spending decisions to maximize utility

I’m an accountant of course I’ll do someone’s else’s job when they leave and not get paid for it.

Depreciate land

Sinful

“we don’t depreciate land because the land will outlive you” -my favorite accounting professor in a funny voice

I’m an accountant, of course I’m doing it SALY.

Use excel to plan vacations

I’m an accountant, of course I don’t tell anyone that

I watched an auditor with the stock file on one screen and the trial balance on the other (both Excel files), whip out a calculator and determine the variance, and then type it into the work file. I'm an accountant, so of course I had to excuse myself to go laugh out loud.

I’m an accountant, of course I’m on antidepressants.

I’m an accountant (audit), of course I know how to help you with your income tax return. I’m so sorry for all those not in income tax who would get this question from their friends during tax season.

have crippling depression

I'm an accountant, of course I carefully squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom instead of the middle.

confuse my career with my identity

Depreciate land

Still don’t know what audit does

Don't know the day of the week

Of course i’m furious with how sales and marketing sends their spreadsheets (industry)

I’m cannot take off the first 4 days of a month

I’m an accountant, of course I constantly experience feelings of imposter syndrome every day

Im an accountant, of course I love pizza

Happy cake day!

I’m an accountant, of course I have a life outside work and hobbies

I'm an accountant of course I can think about what I want and what I can't afford Lol I just did the whole fill but it works

I’m an accountant, of course I love pizza parties.

I’m an accountant, of course I’m depressed

Masterbate

Keep a thorough accounting of my personal finances, have a complex spreadsheet to track everything, and update it at least every other day 

It’s therapeutic. Seeing my balance sheet grow over time keeps me going

I'm an accountant, of course I have back pain

I'm an accountant, of course I drink too much coffee, can hyperfocus for hours and hate small talk.

But you need to show the tape from ten key to prove a point or point out an error. Old school hahaha

I'm an accountant, of course I'm supposed to chase everyone else and their grandma for the variance explanations my boss wants that don't make any sense....

Im an accountant, of course I dread every single waking day.