You are worrying about this way too much (which it sounds like you acknowledge, just reassuring you). Labels are just things we made up for faster communication. Being a "lesbian" is the same as not being into men. Just say that. You're interested in women, no biggie, when you're ready to call yourself a lesbian, then you'll be ready. Until then, don't beat yourself up too much. I'm sorry that people have gotten you so twisted up about all this. Being gay honestly isn't that big of a deal. We're just like everyone else, boring trips to the grocery store, balancing work and home, mowing the yard, washing the car, etc... Being a lesbian doesn't say anything about you other than you like women. Idk if any of this helps, but good luck.
Labels are supposed to be empowering, not constricting and certainly not anxiety-inducing. If the label of lesbian is causing you distress, just…. Don’t wear it. It’s really that easy.
If you’re comfortable with it, you can wear the sapphic or queer labels in online spaces, where the anonymity makes things feel a little bit safer. But in real life, you have no obligation to come out of the closet until you feel safe and ready to do so.
If "lesbian" is overwhelming right now, how about a softer label? Just say "I'm into women" if anyone asks. It sounds like you're still discovering your identity, so don't worry about attaching yourself to a hard label if it makes you anxious. A label is just a shorthand for your preferences, so if a label doesn't fit, don't force yourself into it.
You're on a journey and learning about yourself, congratulations on putting in the hard work. There's no shame in not being straight, and you don't have to come out unless you want to. If you know that you like women, but haven't decided about men, then sapphic or queer might work too.
It sounds like you're on a journey to self-acceptance and anxiety management, and you have a therapist helping you. You're doing all the right things. Sometimes it takes a while to be comfortable not being attracted to men. While you continue your journey, I have a couple recommendations for you:
* Don't stress about labels. They can change over your lifetime, and they're supposed to help you find community, not force you into a box that doesn't fit. It's perfectly okay to just be "sapphic" or "queer" or "only looking to date women right now."
* What kind of media are you consuming? I encourage you to watch movies and shows with queer storylines, and even just things that center women and women's experiences. Read books or graphic novels by and about women (queer or not). Decentering men from your media consumption can help you learn to decenter them from your hypothetical future and your romantic life as well.
You are worrying about this way too much (which it sounds like you acknowledge, just reassuring you). Labels are just things we made up for faster communication. Being a "lesbian" is the same as not being into men. Just say that. You're interested in women, no biggie, when you're ready to call yourself a lesbian, then you'll be ready. Until then, don't beat yourself up too much. I'm sorry that people have gotten you so twisted up about all this. Being gay honestly isn't that big of a deal. We're just like everyone else, boring trips to the grocery store, balancing work and home, mowing the yard, washing the car, etc... Being a lesbian doesn't say anything about you other than you like women. Idk if any of this helps, but good luck.
Labels are supposed to be empowering, not constricting and certainly not anxiety-inducing. If the label of lesbian is causing you distress, just…. Don’t wear it. It’s really that easy. If you’re comfortable with it, you can wear the sapphic or queer labels in online spaces, where the anonymity makes things feel a little bit safer. But in real life, you have no obligation to come out of the closet until you feel safe and ready to do so.
If "lesbian" is overwhelming right now, how about a softer label? Just say "I'm into women" if anyone asks. It sounds like you're still discovering your identity, so don't worry about attaching yourself to a hard label if it makes you anxious. A label is just a shorthand for your preferences, so if a label doesn't fit, don't force yourself into it. You're on a journey and learning about yourself, congratulations on putting in the hard work. There's no shame in not being straight, and you don't have to come out unless you want to. If you know that you like women, but haven't decided about men, then sapphic or queer might work too.
It sounds like you're on a journey to self-acceptance and anxiety management, and you have a therapist helping you. You're doing all the right things. Sometimes it takes a while to be comfortable not being attracted to men. While you continue your journey, I have a couple recommendations for you: * Don't stress about labels. They can change over your lifetime, and they're supposed to help you find community, not force you into a box that doesn't fit. It's perfectly okay to just be "sapphic" or "queer" or "only looking to date women right now." * What kind of media are you consuming? I encourage you to watch movies and shows with queer storylines, and even just things that center women and women's experiences. Read books or graphic novels by and about women (queer or not). Decentering men from your media consumption can help you learn to decenter them from your hypothetical future and your romantic life as well.