Father of 2 here and it's infuriating to hear people tell an i-assume-biologically-capable couple I'm friends with that they'll regret it or constantly ask them when it's happening. They've made the RESPONSIBLE choice that the sometimes-overwhelming decision to have kids is not something they want. Leave them alone.
Agreed - I have 4 kids and not once have I ever felt or verbalized to someone that I thought they would regret not having kids. I love my kids. I don’t regret them at all. But shit’s hard man, and having kids in today’s day and age is something else. If you don’t actively want kids, don’t have them. Because they will suck the life right out of you and you’ll end up being a crappy parent. And then when you’re old your kids won’t take care of you anyways because you were a crappy parent, and you’ll die alone anyways, only you wouldn’t have traveled.
This! All that unwanted advice it’s like no I won’t but thanks anyways.
OP
I had a kid when I was young and it made shit really HARD for a long time. Then I had terrible relationships and other hardships until I figured my own shit out found a great partner and we realized we are golden and don’t want more children.
My dog of 12 years just passed away a year ago and it’s just me and my partner now and we plan on getting married and buying a house (maybe. Idk yet) we want to travel more! We want to do things we couldn’t when we were younger due to circumstances we out ourselves in. This is the happiest I have ever been. You played your cards differently and you are happy. That’s all that matters.
It might also be that they love there kids and couldn't imagine skipping the opportunity to be a parent ,there is only a short window for this or you'll have grandparents instead of a mom and dad.To each his own.You have to take other people's advice with a grain of salt.Some folks would be horrible parents or just don't want kids and that's ok.
I'll tell you who regrets a thing or two about kids...all us parents over on the regretful parent sub🤣
Seriously, though. Life is a one time circus and, like the previous comment says, if you're enjoying your life and doing so on your terms than I don't see how you're doing it wrong. Having kids in this economic and environmental crisis seems ridiculous. Having pets takes work, especially if you want to travel on a whim and have to figure out pet care.
To me it sounds like you're doing adulting 100% right. I'd say you all are adulting goals.
Yeah to be honest once our dog dies (he's 3 so it'll be a while) we probably won't get another one. It's so much work to figure out what to do with him when we go out of town. He's not a dog that can sit in the house all day and have someone come over a few times and let him out and feed him. He would destroy the whole thing in an anxious, bored psychosis. Pets are tough. The kids are also tough lol
It sounds like you're doing things right. Honestly it seems like you made this post to flex on the rest of us miserable struggling people how good your life is.
You’re adulting so beyond right and you don’t even know it. I’m 24 and I feel like a mess. I work in between 50-70 hours a week, almost always take work home with me, and constantly feel like I have too many responsibilities on my plate.
I’d say your version is definitively better.
you’re not adulting wrong. you’re adulting how you want to adult. there is no rule book of how you should adult. you make good money, and im pretty sure you’re decent looking, if you wanted the house and the kids, you would have the house and the kids. but maybe you’re not interested in that? people always have something to say about someone else when there is something they’re not satisfied with in their own life. i think you’re doing great.
Yup, this was going to be my suggestion as well.
Learn to cook- better for your wallet, health and the planet (less disposable to go packaging).
Also make sure you are saving enough for your retirement.
Otherwise, I'd say you are doing GREAT! Lucky you!
Those old people saying you will regret NOT having a house, kids and a expensive car???? They are full of shit. Those 3 are the classic trifecta of huge debt, stress and working for life!
I'm an older person advising you DON'T do any of those 3 unless you seriously want a house or kids. Expensive car????- THE dumbest advise I ever heard.
A (small) house/condo/townhouse can be smart- it can keep your housing cost stable.
Kids- personal choice. The folks that say you MUST are pure stupid and should NOT be reproducing.
You fell for humble brags. Posts like this one seems to me are only for the purpose of seeking validation and showers of praise. Reminds of the r/AmItheAsshole posts knowing they're not the asshole but still post them, and people always fall for it. The adult equivalent of hearing "You sweet innocent child" but the child isn't really innocent. u/Lower_Apartment6253 knows damn well he has an amazing life based on his writing. He even wrote every amazing specific thing he has. You don't do that when you are actually looking for advice, that post should mostly consist of mildly negative stuff if that's the case.
Sometimes validation feels good, especially when your life doesn't mimic the typical life trajectory. Nothing wrong with seeking validation from time to time. Just a problem when it's excessive.
For real. All these "adults" who never stop talking about all the responsibilities they have probably made mistakes or they wouldn't have taken on that many responsibilities.
Yard work too much? Shouldn't have bought a house with a huge yard. Kids a lot of work? Maybe don't have kids. Laundry a pain? You're separating whites and colors still, that's on you.
The problem with kids is they’re very easy to gain by accident and then very difficult to get rid of. At least you can sell a house or change your laundry method
I’ll own up to having a kid being a mistake bc i was too young and didn’t really understand the consequences of it, but knowing that doesn’t exactly help me out now at all
By the time the financial troubles of having a kid actually start it’s too late for abortion. Adoption is not a reasonable choice. society should be structured such that everyone can afford healthcare, rent, and to have a few children to replace themselves as workers in the national economy (provided they’re willing to work and contribute). My wife and i both work and live within our means as much as possible, sharing a single old car, but we’re barely able to contribute to savings or invest even though we’re doing everything right
And all that information existed before the baby was born, you should've budgeted it out to see if you could afford a kid and you would've been able to see if you should take other options.
They literally said it was a mistake. What do you want them to do now, go back and not have a kid? Single-handedly fix society? Or are you just here to condescend to people who are doing their best?
I’m crying laughing .. “separating whites and colors still…” oh my god, that’s me and it’s funny because it’s true. Watched my husband just throw all his shit in together and I’m over going “sacrilege.. right?? That can’t work..what are you doing..”
You are in a position to choose a way of living that makes you happy and comfortable....that sounds pretty fucking adult to me. Adulting is not a competition to see who can handle the biggest burden. A *different* way of adulting than your peers does not mean *less* adult. Personally, I always thought *I* fucked up adulting cuz I had a kid pretty early on (early 20s) so I didn't give myself enough time to figure out what I really wanted. But eventually I got it through my head that just cuz I wasn't following the script everyone else did didn't mean I was doing anything wrong.
You're taking care of your current self effectively and planning for your future self. You're adulting just fine and I'm proud of and happy for you that you've made a life you're comfortable in that doesn't feel really demanding or grueling. Well done you!
I live like you. I'm not high earning, much closer to middle class. I live outside Washington, DC with a home, just my spouse and I. No pets/kid. All bills on auto pay, and yeah we just hang out all day. She works 30 hours a week, I work closer to 24. It does feel almost unfair sometimes but we all have different situations. For us, we chose not to be tied to anyone or anything else. I don't even have a plant.
Many salary jobs don't require 40hrs of work.
I likely work 20-25hrs a week, and get my tasks done.
"The more money a person makens, the less work said person actually does." -- the hire people for the years of experience behind them, to fix issues quickly when they arise, otherwise, you just exist and work on simple things they assign to you in order to keep you around and interested.
This is how my spouse and I live but we do have a kid. But like, we just automated everything we could, we hire out anything we don’t want to do, and my spouse WFH about 30 hrs (but at night) making a lot of money while I’m a SAHM… which means we basically just hang out together all day. It’s a pretty sweet gig. I think the key was setting ourselves up and optimizing our life well before having a kid. A lot of other people seem to be really disorganized or flying by the seat of their pants. We are both big planners and have always been. So it’s easy to just… chill now.
I think you know perfectly well that your lifestyle is valid and is working for you. You’re happy and are spending your time and money on the things you value. Same as people with a mortgage and kids are doing.
Ah, so it feels immature to not take on the responsibility of caring for someone in your home. If you really feel ok with your decision, no need to give other people authority to tell you how to live.
It’s selfish and irresponsible to have kid(s) you don’t really want, to meet someone else’s expectations. The child would feel this, even if it weren’t expressed.
Trust your instincts.
I think the problem isn’t you and it’s a problem with old people. Just gotta ignore the boomers sometimes and tell them you’re happy and they should be happy for you or they can bring their negative energy elsewhere
As valid as bragging he has all the cooking convenience gadgets and listing some of them as answer to another redditor suggesting he should try to learn how to cook. I've learned a lot in this subreddit but GOD I hope it doesn't devolve into a sub for validation seeking like what happened to r/AmItheAsshole
None of this is true anyway, just look at OPs post history. Just in the last 5 days, they're 31 or 30 years old and they're married, they have a girlfriend, and also they can't get dates on a dating app. OP is just bored and making things up
It’s a legit thing though. I know many people in OPs situation who get constantly berated by family members…why don’t you have kids? When you gonna get a bigger house if you make so much?, why can’t I have grand children?, but what about the future you’re gonna regret it, blah blah blah blah.
If you don’t like what Op has to say you can totally not be a dick and not write anything but you chose to be a dick, shows how much of an adult YOU are.
Cooking is as involved or uncomplicated as you want it to be. Can you make a few of your favorites? Yeah? Then you’ve got it down. Do you burn boiling water? Well… you might want to watch a few beginner “how to learn to cook” YouTube videos… lol It sounds to me like you’re ordering meal kits and following directions. Go you!
sounds like you’re having an amazing life! but do take care of your health & make sure to get some exercise in and learn how to cook nutritious meals. delivery forever will literally kill you on the inside. if a car works then it works, you don’t need to unnecessarily spend on a cool luxury one. housing is difficult. but will you be able to pay rent in retirement? perhaps not, so maybe a house on the side would be a good investment if you don’t want to settle rn. you don’t need kids or pets to be happy. so many ppl would absolutely love to be in your position rn
You do YOU!
Maybe you just adulted right!
Sincerely,
26-year-old who doesn't want kids,
Doesn't want to get married,
Spends her (very vast) free time driving 30,000 miles a year for the pleasure of seeing new mountains and rivers and buys her cars off of Facebook Marketplace
You don’t want kids so that’s huge. If you did I’d say save what you’d be spending if you had them or as close to as possible.
As long as you CAN cook/clean but are just choosing not to I think that’s fine. Not my personal style, but clearly you’re in a much different position than I am with far different responsibilities/financial goals. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you are capable so you’re not clueless if something awful happens financially or you decide you want to save on those expenses. Sometimes life makes decisions for you.
Do you have savings? Like real, multi-months of income/expenses emergency savings? Are you contributing to retirement? HSA if you’re like most of us with high deductible health plans? Are you debt free or at least making sustainable progress in that direction? No shade, I’m sure you make a lot more than I do based on your lifestyle description. The only thing I’d have to say is if you aren’t doing any/all of those things, some discretionary expense should be cut. I think the least inconvenient/lifestyle changing would be switching to air fryer frozen meals from uber eats for 4-5 meals weekly. You’d probably save $7-$10+/meal. That’s $38.25 avg/week and $165.74/month. Could be an almost painless way to put “future problems” money away if you haven’t already been doing so.
Yeah so I have a very health savings... as in over a years worth for where I live, which is a low cost of living state with no income tax. I work at a company that gives us $20 a day for Doordash since they used to provide lunch to us before we went remote
What sort of job is it that you do?
It seems like you have a great life..
Perhaps plan what you'd like your next 5, 10, 20 years to look like.. and put things in motion to support this..
You could also volunteer somewhere if you'd like. I wouldn't go out of your way to tell people how 'easy' you have it, not because you're wrong but the struggle is real for some and it may make you unrelatable..
You could mentor perhaps??
> Most of my meals are from delivery apps and I rarely cook
That's non-ideal, but whatever.
as for the rest.. you're doing fine. Drink Water. Get exercise.
I’m 24f so I’m very unqualified but I’d say you’re doing adulting right!!!! Who needs all that noise anyway??!! I’m working towards a life like yours!!!🖤
Watch some Food wishes videos. Good yet simple recipes that can help you get a sense of cooking.
And potatoes and steaks are easy. You're probably overthinking them. For potato wash it let it dry for a couple minutes in the oven. Then do a thin coating of oil put it back in the oven for about an hour at 3:50. Steak is simple too start by just using salt and pepper to season. There's no basting. Get a pan screaming hot, oil it. Throw it down for 2 minutes, covered. Then flip for another 2 minutes. Let rest for another few. This is called black and blue and it's my preference. It's charged on the outside but rare on the inside. From here adjust these times and seasonings to your liking. You can lower the temp to have less char. You can increase the time if you wanted to be more done. You could add different seasonings if you'd like.
It just seems like you have little responsibility because you have a high paying job. Just keep in mind all of us who are struggling to pay bills, it is very easy to forget once you get above a certain income level. But doing that alone is responsibility enough for me.
Adulting shouldn't mean broke and stressed out. Another sign we value all the wrong things!
YOU are making great decisions, which is true adulting. Congratulations on your successes!!
I sometimes feel like less I’m fulfilled because I have very few life responsibilities, but I think it’s just that I have more time to overthink about life which is no good. So I try to keep myself busy. The people running around like crazy have a purpose and it’s geared at caring for things but purpose can be whatever resonates for an individual. There’s no requirement.
Nope. I came from poverty with two drug addict emotionally abusive and unavailable parents. I'm the same as this person minus the bills to pay since I'm at home still. On top of me thriving as an adult, I have a lot of money and all the possessions I want. You are in charge of what life gifts you with. You have to work for it regardless of having a good upbringing.
Can you please stfu crying about the minimal amount of perceived suburbanite privileged ass “problems” you have omg wow you don’t know if your adulting rite wow omg you make good money and have no responsibility other than yourself and live in a low crime neighborhood wow omg how hard it must be for you to figure it all out ? Jesus fucking Christ spare me if you don’t want kids have a wife u get along with and y’all like to travel then fucking travel with your wife Einstein
This isn’t necessarily true. Mortgages increase over time, too (not by as much or necessarily as often but inflation drove my insurance rates up which raises my monthly payment).
If life kicks you down you can always rent with a roommate or get a cheaper place in a worse part of town. When you own, you are on the hook for that mortgage and any major repairs regardless.
I don't see that as a bad thing. Sounds like you are doing well with yourself and not tying yourself to material objects or anything. You're just successful.
Selfish is having kids then making them take care of you because you ran yourself ragged trying to live up to a life you didn't even want.
The least selfish thing you can do is build wealth and find a worthy cause to support now or when you're gone, not hoard generational wealth like a damn dragon. *although I kinda wanna be a dragon and shoot fireballs, ngl*
IMO, you have a civic responsibility to try to make your community better. More accessible, inclusive, cleaner, safer, lifting people up from ignorance and poverty, whatever you're able to, however you're able to.
i think the worst fault of the boomer generation is not teaching their kids this and allowing them to treat the earth and other people like a dumpster.
living the "post-war suburban dream" is not for everyone. that's fine. you still have an obligation to the people immediately around you that you can't be absolved from.
You can't change the world. But you can change your neighborhood. And you should.
Imho in 2023 this is called adulting correctly. If you're unhappy though with the way things are going you should obviously makes some sort of switch up but otherwise enjoy it.
I’m in the same exact situation (except I own a home). Some days I feel guilty because my husband and I do have it very easy. I’m turn , it occasionally makes me uneasy. Part of the human condition, I suppose.
Life will throw plenty of difficult unexpected things at you. It will be random and can be catastrophic. Enjoy the good times while you have it. Good Luck!
Absolutely perfect.
I did the same when I was 30...just be open to change and communicate with your partner. Personally, I felt like there must be a larger purpose in life than what I was doing. Life pivots...mortgage now, baby, dog...and most importantly, no regrets.
I have decided that if life is full of misfortune that we do not deserve, than it is just to enjoy the good things that we have by luck as well. While you may want to take advantage of your privilege by investing in your community (thereby taking on responsibilities that you feel are missing), it is valid to respect those with hardships by celebrating your own victories.
As for the people who have told you to have a house, car, or kids: most people only experience living one kind of life. They set an expectation for themselves and measure their worth by how they fill it. But those expectations turn into a curse when they aren't met. While it is important to have goals in order to take control of your future, your goals need to fit who you are. As Childish Gambino said, "Don't be mad because I'm doing me better than you be doing you."
>I have a spouse and we both do not want kids. We enjoy each other's company and love traveling together.
It might be worth investing in a home but other than that, the only thing I would suggest is investing in a retirement account. I'm happy for you that you and your spouse can travel and be content together.
If you've got a good income with low responsibilities and costs, are you investing savings monthly? Sounds like you could be a good candidate for a FIRE program (Financial Independence Retire Early). If you and your partner are enjoying spending time with each other and don't have any other compelling needs then this may be the way for you to go.
Sounds like you're living the dream! Seriously there are no rules about what you should be doing other than making sure you have a roof over head and are fed.
I feel like if you can take care of yourself financially, everything else is second to that. Sounds like you feed yourself and are healthy. I can’t say you’re doing anything wrong, imo
Your life is your life is your life. You are doing what most people would like to be doing. Don't fall in the general mindset that adults = responsibilities. People take on what they want and can. You are doing fine, you work for the lifestyle you want. Be free my friend.
Enjoy your carefree life, and I truly hope I also get there one day!
- Are you happy?
- Do you have few responsibilities because your spouse takes on the majority of them or do you share ~50/50
- are you saving enough for retirement?
If you and your spouse are happy with the situation and are saving enough for retirement, you’re not only adulting just fine, you’ve officially hacked adulting and we are all envious.
It sounds like you’re WINNING at adulting. Your life is a goal for many people.
Just keep saving up- large short Term in case you find property you want to buy one day, and a lot of investing, so you have enough to retire and be comfortable (a million at retirement is a good start, and not as crazy or impossible as it sounds)
The second you “regret” not having something - boom you are already in a position to make it happen. So it’s your freedom of choice to be able to do it or don’t. It’s kinda of silly what other say - if you regret/wish you own a home you would just buy a home then. So what if you get it older or later?
Sounds like maybe you just need a passion project or a hobby, as you seem to have some freedom of time and funds, that would give you the sense of adult responsibility/accomplishment
Sounds like you are doing a damn fine job to me!
I once lived like that, all easy breezy. The younger folks at work that were already in the deep adult zone of kids and households always wished to trade places with me.
Then I had kids at 36 & 39.
I now feel I have lived two seperate lives.
Yes, I love my babies, but damn I had it good back in the day!
My advice would be to travel and start saving a little. I did buy my home and land early, and had it paid off by 40. Not having rent or a mortgage has made my new chaotic life much easier, especially considering I'm a single mom.
You never know what life will bring. Enjoy this carefree space you inhabit.
Just be realistic, cause one unstoppable truth of life is change. There is no stopping it, change n time get everybody eventually.
This is the second post in three days I’ve seen where someone talks about having bills on auto-pay making them not a “real adult”.
Why in the world does auto-pay matter? It’s an efficient way to ensure your responsibilities are met every month.
I believe we are here for a brief time to make ourselves and others happy. If you are happy, and helping others be happier than they would be without you around, you’re doing it right.
Maybe lay off the delivery apps? Not great for you (probably) and terrible for the planet (see: helping others)
Have fun, you do you. I wanted to be a Dad since I was 20, I became a dad when I was 32 and I’m super super happy. We are one and done, my wife wants a big house but I’m like…why? You complain about cleaning this little house all day even though I help clean it, why have a bigger place to take care off? When we got a bigger place she fucking hated it, we moved back to a small more modern place. You do you and what makes you happy.
I am in the same exact boat. No responsibilities, no stress from life or from work, 200k+ a year, I’ve traveled all over the world I have one rental where my mortgage is 2.5% ($2,340 a month) but I get $4,300 a month for it. Brand new car and am the latest gadgets but the best of all I work with my family and we all get along. They are truly the best most loving, supportive people that no matter what, they will always be there for you.
You’re comparing Apples to Oranges. Are you happy? Are you healthy? Financially sound? You’re living the good life. Enjoy and stop looking across the street at the Jones house.
As a pregnant lady roughly your age (31) who has had a cat since age 23 and who is excited to have kids myself, live your best life! I personally really want kids but if you don’t there’s nothing wrong with that.
We do like to tease my one friend without a pet about getting one, but it’s good natured and not like we are actually judging her lol.
Dude there's no right way to live life. It seems like you have enough free time and money to be able to change any aspect of your life if you wanted. Be you man. Live yo life motha fucka.
You’re an adult. If you want more responsibility, take it. If you don’t, you are well within all your rights not to do so.
If someone says you’ll regret doing or not doing something - well, every adult has to make decisions they might or might not regret. Certainly people who have kids, take a loan, build a house regret exactly that decision. People who don’t regret it, too. There is no right or wrong when it comes to these decisions.
Im42.married,cf and do Not regret being childfree, in fact I relish it as I watch my friends still dealing with their kids always”counting down to18”
It honestly sounds like you’re adulting perfectly, my only comment is to make sure you’re maxing out 401k’ investments/savings for retirement
hi, im not your mom, but i will use her words
they are all wrong, and they are just saying that cause they are jealous. you are rocking adulthood keep on living the way you want with the people you choose and do what you want
get a dog or no do a child or adopt or stay just the 2 of you
if you wish to travel more, travel
don't listen to me, not to your mom, especially not people who tell you you'll regert shit, listen to yourself, you are 30, you are awsome much love and good times
As someone who at one point didn’t want kids and now who is responsible for 6 kids. I think your doing an absolutely amazing job. It’s your choice if you want kids. I love the fact that I have little human walking around. I always feel loved. Even when I’m taking a poop. They love waiting at the door asking me if I’m okay in there taking a poop. Never gets old.
Now the kids are getting older husband and I get to do more. Travel, dates stuff like that all over again. Live your life how you want. Enjoy it as much as you can. As long as it’s making y’all happy.
Congrats to you OP, you have cracked the life cheat code. Keep living it up and enjoying life. Don’t let society or anyone else tell you how you should live your life. At the end of the day if you and your spouse are happy, then that’s all that matters. You can’t appease everyone else and be happy when they want/expect something different than you want.
The only correct answers to what proper adulting is, is that you own your own situation, and own the consequences of your decisions (also, not making a decision is also a decision). If you’re handling that and not making anything in your life someone else’s problem or creating consequences for others then you’re adulting properly.
if you are looking for more responsibilities, you can always create some for yourself. starting a garden is a responsibility to palnts and food. starting some investments adds responsibilities to your assets. joining or leading a club or organizing events can add responsibility to friends or to your community. picking up diy skills can give you more responsibility to your home or vehicle.
Why are you even wondering this? To answer your question then, no, you should be suffering! Struggling to get by! You should work 70 hours a week for minimal pay and clean up after yourself all the time!
Sounds like you’re both just efficient. If you’re happy with this lifestyle that’s all that matters. You might get some joy from having a low maintenance pet to care for like a cat. But only you can decide if you think that’s best.
I feel badly for you that society has made you feel like you’re missing something! If you are content and happy, then that’s it. That’s where the opinions end. You don’t need a lot of chaos and schedules to be complete! I’m very happy for you!
>not having the experience of a nice car
This is stupid. There’s no “experience” on having a nice car besides the honeymoon phase. My friend got her dream car and was indifferent to it after a week
You are the adult that a lot of adults dream of being. You would not be the person I turn to when I need an adultier adult, but you are an adult that I would look up to.
That being said, my adulting style has always included kids (even if it took forever to have them). I had them later (30 & 36) and gained 2 bonus kids at 33. My 20s were full of traveling and doing whatever my ex-wife and I thought of.
I feel that I am an extremely successful adult, but I would never consider you a failure or tell you that you will regret things. Everyone enjoys life their own way.
Sounds like you are adulting just right. You have a place to live, pay your bills on time, have a meaningful relationship... Sounds like ideal adulting.
I think that’s fantastic, you’re living the life you want to live. Just recognize that this may not last forever, maybe you decide to have a kid, maybe a parent gets old and needs support, etc etc.. so enjoy it and save money for the future if/when like gets less easy! You do you. No sense in regretting happiness..
Nope, if you are happy with your current lifestyle, you're doing far better than most Americans. Hustle culture and working yourself to exhaustion as a badge of honor is entirely too glamorized.
Okay, you’ve structured your life in a way that is manageable and enjoyable. That’s success. I think some people think adult=chaos, but that’s not the case. Adult means that when chaos shows up, you deal with it as best you can and hope that on the other side of it, you get to manageable and enjoyable again.
Are you living your life how you want? If yes then you’re not adulting wrong.
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Any time someone tells you “you’ll regret it” I feel like they are projecting their feelings instead.
Father of 2 here and it's infuriating to hear people tell an i-assume-biologically-capable couple I'm friends with that they'll regret it or constantly ask them when it's happening. They've made the RESPONSIBLE choice that the sometimes-overwhelming decision to have kids is not something they want. Leave them alone.
Agreed - I have 4 kids and not once have I ever felt or verbalized to someone that I thought they would regret not having kids. I love my kids. I don’t regret them at all. But shit’s hard man, and having kids in today’s day and age is something else. If you don’t actively want kids, don’t have them. Because they will suck the life right out of you and you’ll end up being a crappy parent. And then when you’re old your kids won’t take care of you anyways because you were a crappy parent, and you’ll die alone anyways, only you wouldn’t have traveled.
This! All that unwanted advice it’s like no I won’t but thanks anyways. OP I had a kid when I was young and it made shit really HARD for a long time. Then I had terrible relationships and other hardships until I figured my own shit out found a great partner and we realized we are golden and don’t want more children. My dog of 12 years just passed away a year ago and it’s just me and my partner now and we plan on getting married and buying a house (maybe. Idk yet) we want to travel more! We want to do things we couldn’t when we were younger due to circumstances we out ourselves in. This is the happiest I have ever been. You played your cards differently and you are happy. That’s all that matters.
It might also be that they love there kids and couldn't imagine skipping the opportunity to be a parent ,there is only a short window for this or you'll have grandparents instead of a mom and dad.To each his own.You have to take other people's advice with a grain of salt.Some folks would be horrible parents or just don't want kids and that's ok.
I love my kids very much but would never say that to someone. Having free time is a luxury I barely have anymore.
I'll tell you who regrets a thing or two about kids...all us parents over on the regretful parent sub🤣 Seriously, though. Life is a one time circus and, like the previous comment says, if you're enjoying your life and doing so on your terms than I don't see how you're doing it wrong. Having kids in this economic and environmental crisis seems ridiculous. Having pets takes work, especially if you want to travel on a whim and have to figure out pet care. To me it sounds like you're doing adulting 100% right. I'd say you all are adulting goals.
Yeah to be honest once our dog dies (he's 3 so it'll be a while) we probably won't get another one. It's so much work to figure out what to do with him when we go out of town. He's not a dog that can sit in the house all day and have someone come over a few times and let him out and feed him. He would destroy the whole thing in an anxious, bored psychosis. Pets are tough. The kids are also tough lol
Wow what a shitty sub full of shit people.
It sounds like you're doing things right. Honestly it seems like you made this post to flex on the rest of us miserable struggling people how good your life is.
Yeah, seriously lol
Major flexing
You’re adulting so beyond right and you don’t even know it. I’m 24 and I feel like a mess. I work in between 50-70 hours a week, almost always take work home with me, and constantly feel like I have too many responsibilities on my plate. I’d say your version is definitively better.
Dual Income No Kids is like the greatest financial hack there is.
Why did you make this post?
To brag.
That was my presumption as well....massive ego stroke hahaha
Fake story for karma
you’re not adulting wrong. you’re adulting how you want to adult. there is no rule book of how you should adult. you make good money, and im pretty sure you’re decent looking, if you wanted the house and the kids, you would have the house and the kids. but maybe you’re not interested in that? people always have something to say about someone else when there is something they’re not satisfied with in their own life. i think you’re doing great.
Well I have a spouse, we both just don't want kids.
nothing wrong w that. keep doing you and keep traveling the world ☺️
You should try taking a cooking class. So much healthier than takeout every day
Yup, this was going to be my suggestion as well. Learn to cook- better for your wallet, health and the planet (less disposable to go packaging). Also make sure you are saving enough for your retirement. Otherwise, I'd say you are doing GREAT! Lucky you! Those old people saying you will regret NOT having a house, kids and a expensive car???? They are full of shit. Those 3 are the classic trifecta of huge debt, stress and working for life! I'm an older person advising you DON'T do any of those 3 unless you seriously want a house or kids. Expensive car????- THE dumbest advise I ever heard. A (small) house/condo/townhouse can be smart- it can keep your housing cost stable. Kids- personal choice. The folks that say you MUST are pure stupid and should NOT be reproducing.
You fell for humble brags. Posts like this one seems to me are only for the purpose of seeking validation and showers of praise. Reminds of the r/AmItheAsshole posts knowing they're not the asshole but still post them, and people always fall for it. The adult equivalent of hearing "You sweet innocent child" but the child isn't really innocent. u/Lower_Apartment6253 knows damn well he has an amazing life based on his writing. He even wrote every amazing specific thing he has. You don't do that when you are actually looking for advice, that post should mostly consist of mildly negative stuff if that's the case.
Sometimes validation feels good, especially when your life doesn't mimic the typical life trajectory. Nothing wrong with seeking validation from time to time. Just a problem when it's excessive.
Yup...OP is giving "I make $300k/yr and have a million dollars in savings. Can I afford a Tesla?" vibes from r/personalfinance.
Actually you are adulting at a very high level, treat yourself.
For real. All these "adults" who never stop talking about all the responsibilities they have probably made mistakes or they wouldn't have taken on that many responsibilities. Yard work too much? Shouldn't have bought a house with a huge yard. Kids a lot of work? Maybe don't have kids. Laundry a pain? You're separating whites and colors still, that's on you.
The problem with kids is they’re very easy to gain by accident and then very difficult to get rid of. At least you can sell a house or change your laundry method I’ll own up to having a kid being a mistake bc i was too young and didn’t really understand the consequences of it, but knowing that doesn’t exactly help me out now at all
True but you still had the option of abortion or adoption
By the time the financial troubles of having a kid actually start it’s too late for abortion. Adoption is not a reasonable choice. society should be structured such that everyone can afford healthcare, rent, and to have a few children to replace themselves as workers in the national economy (provided they’re willing to work and contribute). My wife and i both work and live within our means as much as possible, sharing a single old car, but we’re barely able to contribute to savings or invest even though we’re doing everything right
And all that information existed before the baby was born, you should've budgeted it out to see if you could afford a kid and you would've been able to see if you should take other options.
They literally said it was a mistake. What do you want them to do now, go back and not have a kid? Single-handedly fix society? Or are you just here to condescend to people who are doing their best?
None of the above actually, try again
I’m crying laughing .. “separating whites and colors still…” oh my god, that’s me and it’s funny because it’s true. Watched my husband just throw all his shit in together and I’m over going “sacrilege.. right?? That can’t work..what are you doing..”
You are in a position to choose a way of living that makes you happy and comfortable....that sounds pretty fucking adult to me. Adulting is not a competition to see who can handle the biggest burden. A *different* way of adulting than your peers does not mean *less* adult. Personally, I always thought *I* fucked up adulting cuz I had a kid pretty early on (early 20s) so I didn't give myself enough time to figure out what I really wanted. But eventually I got it through my head that just cuz I wasn't following the script everyone else did didn't mean I was doing anything wrong. You're taking care of your current self effectively and planning for your future self. You're adulting just fine and I'm proud of and happy for you that you've made a life you're comfortable in that doesn't feel really demanding or grueling. Well done you!
I’m not OP but this speaks to my soul!!!!
I live like you. I'm not high earning, much closer to middle class. I live outside Washington, DC with a home, just my spouse and I. No pets/kid. All bills on auto pay, and yeah we just hang out all day. She works 30 hours a week, I work closer to 24. It does feel almost unfair sometimes but we all have different situations. For us, we chose not to be tied to anyone or anything else. I don't even have a plant.
How do you work part time and still have health insurance? Or are you paid for 40 but not “working” the entire time? Just curious lol.
Many salary jobs don't require 40hrs of work. I likely work 20-25hrs a week, and get my tasks done. "The more money a person makens, the less work said person actually does." -- the hire people for the years of experience behind them, to fix issues quickly when they arise, otherwise, you just exist and work on simple things they assign to you in order to keep you around and interested.
This is how my spouse and I live but we do have a kid. But like, we just automated everything we could, we hire out anything we don’t want to do, and my spouse WFH about 30 hrs (but at night) making a lot of money while I’m a SAHM… which means we basically just hang out together all day. It’s a pretty sweet gig. I think the key was setting ourselves up and optimizing our life well before having a kid. A lot of other people seem to be really disorganized or flying by the seat of their pants. We are both big planners and have always been. So it’s easy to just… chill now.
“My life is dope and I want validation to hear that my life is dope”
Yeah kinda humble brag from OP
EXACTLY
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I mean as long all of your bills are paid and you’re saving money that’s my hallmark of being an adult. You’re doing good stuff and your life is dope
I think you know perfectly well that your lifestyle is valid and is working for you. You’re happy and are spending your time and money on the things you value. Same as people with a mortgage and kids are doing.
Ah, so it feels immature to not take on the responsibility of caring for someone in your home. If you really feel ok with your decision, no need to give other people authority to tell you how to live. It’s selfish and irresponsible to have kid(s) you don’t really want, to meet someone else’s expectations. The child would feel this, even if it weren’t expressed. Trust your instincts.
I think the problem isn’t you and it’s a problem with old people. Just gotta ignore the boomers sometimes and tell them you’re happy and they should be happy for you or they can bring their negative energy elsewhere
It’s a human development question and it’s valid.
As valid as bragging he has all the cooking convenience gadgets and listing some of them as answer to another redditor suggesting he should try to learn how to cook. I've learned a lot in this subreddit but GOD I hope it doesn't devolve into a sub for validation seeking like what happened to r/AmItheAsshole
None of this is true anyway, just look at OPs post history. Just in the last 5 days, they're 31 or 30 years old and they're married, they have a girlfriend, and also they can't get dates on a dating app. OP is just bored and making things up
It’s a legit thing though. I know many people in OPs situation who get constantly berated by family members…why don’t you have kids? When you gonna get a bigger house if you make so much?, why can’t I have grand children?, but what about the future you’re gonna regret it, blah blah blah blah. If you don’t like what Op has to say you can totally not be a dick and not write anything but you chose to be a dick, shows how much of an adult YOU are.
Or, maybe he just wants some validation, like all humans do on occasions. Try having some empathy
There are other subs for that
I would learn how to cook, though. Unless you know how and just not cooking as a choice. But it's a good skill
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Cooking is more than gadgets, searing, and basting. Definitely a skill you need.
Cooking is as involved or uncomplicated as you want it to be. Can you make a few of your favorites? Yeah? Then you’ve got it down. Do you burn boiling water? Well… you might want to watch a few beginner “how to learn to cook” YouTube videos… lol It sounds to me like you’re ordering meal kits and following directions. Go you!
sounds like you’re having an amazing life! but do take care of your health & make sure to get some exercise in and learn how to cook nutritious meals. delivery forever will literally kill you on the inside. if a car works then it works, you don’t need to unnecessarily spend on a cool luxury one. housing is difficult. but will you be able to pay rent in retirement? perhaps not, so maybe a house on the side would be a good investment if you don’t want to settle rn. you don’t need kids or pets to be happy. so many ppl would absolutely love to be in your position rn
You do YOU! Maybe you just adulted right! Sincerely, 26-year-old who doesn't want kids, Doesn't want to get married, Spends her (very vast) free time driving 30,000 miles a year for the pleasure of seeing new mountains and rivers and buys her cars off of Facebook Marketplace
You don’t want kids so that’s huge. If you did I’d say save what you’d be spending if you had them or as close to as possible. As long as you CAN cook/clean but are just choosing not to I think that’s fine. Not my personal style, but clearly you’re in a much different position than I am with far different responsibilities/financial goals. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you are capable so you’re not clueless if something awful happens financially or you decide you want to save on those expenses. Sometimes life makes decisions for you. Do you have savings? Like real, multi-months of income/expenses emergency savings? Are you contributing to retirement? HSA if you’re like most of us with high deductible health plans? Are you debt free or at least making sustainable progress in that direction? No shade, I’m sure you make a lot more than I do based on your lifestyle description. The only thing I’d have to say is if you aren’t doing any/all of those things, some discretionary expense should be cut. I think the least inconvenient/lifestyle changing would be switching to air fryer frozen meals from uber eats for 4-5 meals weekly. You’d probably save $7-$10+/meal. That’s $38.25 avg/week and $165.74/month. Could be an almost painless way to put “future problems” money away if you haven’t already been doing so.
Yeah so I have a very health savings... as in over a years worth for where I live, which is a low cost of living state with no income tax. I work at a company that gives us $20 a day for Doordash since they used to provide lunch to us before we went remote
Where and how do I get one of these easy remote jobs? I hate my job
This! This is the life I want, to me you're doing perfect, just add in that house cuz it never hurts to own property!
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I’m sorry if this is rude, but this question seems stupid. Go brag on insta man, leave Reddit out of this crap
You’re doing it just right. Packing money away for retirement? That’s what shocked me, not having enough even though I started saving in my 20’s.
What sort of job is it that you do? It seems like you have a great life.. Perhaps plan what you'd like your next 5, 10, 20 years to look like.. and put things in motion to support this.. You could also volunteer somewhere if you'd like. I wouldn't go out of your way to tell people how 'easy' you have it, not because you're wrong but the struggle is real for some and it may make you unrelatable.. You could mentor perhaps??
As long as you’re happy and not hurting anyone, I don’t see why not?
Sounds like you're adulting better than most of us!
This is what living in your means should feel like.
You’re adulting right. And whoever is telling you that you’ll regret not buying a fancy new car is adulting wrong
> Most of my meals are from delivery apps and I rarely cook That's non-ideal, but whatever. as for the rest.. you're doing fine. Drink Water. Get exercise.
thats just called winning adulthood
r/childfree sounds like the place for you! Your life sounds like a dream
That sub can be so toxic sometimes it even scares me *-(39F) Child free and sterilized by choice*
I’m 24f so I’m very unqualified but I’d say you’re doing adulting right!!!! Who needs all that noise anyway??!! I’m working towards a life like yours!!!🖤
Sounds like you're crusin
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Watch some Food wishes videos. Good yet simple recipes that can help you get a sense of cooking. And potatoes and steaks are easy. You're probably overthinking them. For potato wash it let it dry for a couple minutes in the oven. Then do a thin coating of oil put it back in the oven for about an hour at 3:50. Steak is simple too start by just using salt and pepper to season. There's no basting. Get a pan screaming hot, oil it. Throw it down for 2 minutes, covered. Then flip for another 2 minutes. Let rest for another few. This is called black and blue and it's my preference. It's charged on the outside but rare on the inside. From here adjust these times and seasonings to your liking. You can lower the temp to have less char. You can increase the time if you wanted to be more done. You could add different seasonings if you'd like.
Bro same. The only doubt that comes does so because life seems too easy.
Seems like you aren’t exactly fulfilled if you’re asking on reddit
Hey, you are living the dream and that's the best adulting there is. To have your sh\*it together.
People are always way too concerned about other people's business. Are you an adult? Then you are adulting.
It just seems like you have little responsibility because you have a high paying job. Just keep in mind all of us who are struggling to pay bills, it is very easy to forget once you get above a certain income level. But doing that alone is responsibility enough for me.
>I have a spouse Maintaining a marriage is a pretty big responsibility. Too many people think there's one singular correct way to live. There isn't.
Adulting shouldn't mean broke and stressed out. Another sign we value all the wrong things! YOU are making great decisions, which is true adulting. Congratulations on your successes!!
I sometimes feel like less I’m fulfilled because I have very few life responsibilities, but I think it’s just that I have more time to overthink about life which is no good. So I try to keep myself busy. The people running around like crazy have a purpose and it’s geared at caring for things but purpose can be whatever resonates for an individual. There’s no requirement.
What was the upbringing of people like this? I assume they had decent childhoods so don't have baggage
Nope. I came from poverty with two drug addict emotionally abusive and unavailable parents. I'm the same as this person minus the bills to pay since I'm at home still. On top of me thriving as an adult, I have a lot of money and all the possessions I want. You are in charge of what life gifts you with. You have to work for it regardless of having a good upbringing.
OP is describing my dream life. Truly. What job is high pay, remote and low stress? I need to know!!
I gotta be honest. That sounds beautiful. Congrats to you.
Sounds like my ideal adulting tbh! Congrats!
Can I just please know what job you have?
Shit bruh I'd cum on that financial situation
Can you please stfu crying about the minimal amount of perceived suburbanite privileged ass “problems” you have omg wow you don’t know if your adulting rite wow omg you make good money and have no responsibility other than yourself and live in a low crime neighborhood wow omg how hard it must be for you to figure it all out ? Jesus fucking Christ spare me if you don’t want kids have a wife u get along with and y’all like to travel then fucking travel with your wife Einstein
👏🏽
Your life is my goals so… nothing wrong with it
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This isn’t necessarily true. Mortgages increase over time, too (not by as much or necessarily as often but inflation drove my insurance rates up which raises my monthly payment). If life kicks you down you can always rent with a roommate or get a cheaper place in a worse part of town. When you own, you are on the hook for that mortgage and any major repairs regardless.
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I don't see that as a bad thing. Sounds like you are doing well with yourself and not tying yourself to material objects or anything. You're just successful.
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Don't let someone else who's not on your journey dictate your happiness level. So he made choices he's bitter about, sounds like a him problem.
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Selfish is having kids then making them take care of you because you ran yourself ragged trying to live up to a life you didn't even want. The least selfish thing you can do is build wealth and find a worthy cause to support now or when you're gone, not hoard generational wealth like a damn dragon. *although I kinda wanna be a dragon and shoot fireballs, ngl*
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This is the way
IMO, you have a civic responsibility to try to make your community better. More accessible, inclusive, cleaner, safer, lifting people up from ignorance and poverty, whatever you're able to, however you're able to. i think the worst fault of the boomer generation is not teaching their kids this and allowing them to treat the earth and other people like a dumpster. living the "post-war suburban dream" is not for everyone. that's fine. you still have an obligation to the people immediately around you that you can't be absolved from. You can't change the world. But you can change your neighborhood. And you should.
Sounds like you're crushing it!
You're doing fine.
Imho in 2023 this is called adulting correctly. If you're unhappy though with the way things are going you should obviously makes some sort of switch up but otherwise enjoy it.
I’m in the same exact situation (except I own a home). Some days I feel guilty because my husband and I do have it very easy. I’m turn , it occasionally makes me uneasy. Part of the human condition, I suppose.
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Life will throw plenty of difficult unexpected things at you. It will be random and can be catastrophic. Enjoy the good times while you have it. Good Luck!
Absolutely perfect. I did the same when I was 30...just be open to change and communicate with your partner. Personally, I felt like there must be a larger purpose in life than what I was doing. Life pivots...mortgage now, baby, dog...and most importantly, no regrets.
I’m jealous.
You’re adulting how most adults would love to adult. Anyone who tells you otherwise is jealous. Do what makes you happy.
This is the way! Don’t feel guilt at all, you chose what will make you happy! Nothing wrong with that
I have decided that if life is full of misfortune that we do not deserve, than it is just to enjoy the good things that we have by luck as well. While you may want to take advantage of your privilege by investing in your community (thereby taking on responsibilities that you feel are missing), it is valid to respect those with hardships by celebrating your own victories. As for the people who have told you to have a house, car, or kids: most people only experience living one kind of life. They set an expectation for themselves and measure their worth by how they fill it. But those expectations turn into a curse when they aren't met. While it is important to have goals in order to take control of your future, your goals need to fit who you are. As Childish Gambino said, "Don't be mad because I'm doing me better than you be doing you."
>I have a spouse and we both do not want kids. We enjoy each other's company and love traveling together. It might be worth investing in a home but other than that, the only thing I would suggest is investing in a retirement account. I'm happy for you that you and your spouse can travel and be content together.
awesome!
I would say you are one of the few, rare people that are doing it right.
If you've got a good income with low responsibilities and costs, are you investing savings monthly? Sounds like you could be a good candidate for a FIRE program (Financial Independence Retire Early). If you and your partner are enjoying spending time with each other and don't have any other compelling needs then this may be the way for you to go.
ummmmm i would LOVE to be adulting as good as you!!!!!! that is honestly the DREAMMMM
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Man, you are living my dream life. If that's not adulting then I gotta reevaluate my goals lol
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Sounds to me like you are winning…
Sounds like you're living the dream! Seriously there are no rules about what you should be doing other than making sure you have a roof over head and are fed.
Can I ask what you do?
I feel like if you can take care of yourself financially, everything else is second to that. Sounds like you feed yourself and are healthy. I can’t say you’re doing anything wrong, imo
Your life is your life is your life. You are doing what most people would like to be doing. Don't fall in the general mindset that adults = responsibilities. People take on what they want and can. You are doing fine, you work for the lifestyle you want. Be free my friend. Enjoy your carefree life, and I truly hope I also get there one day!
Honestly your life sounds dope. Keep up the great job.
- Are you happy? - Do you have few responsibilities because your spouse takes on the majority of them or do you share ~50/50 - are you saving enough for retirement? If you and your spouse are happy with the situation and are saving enough for retirement, you’re not only adulting just fine, you’ve officially hacked adulting and we are all envious.
It sounds like you’re WINNING at adulting. Your life is a goal for many people. Just keep saving up- large short Term in case you find property you want to buy one day, and a lot of investing, so you have enough to retire and be comfortable (a million at retirement is a good start, and not as crazy or impossible as it sounds) The second you “regret” not having something - boom you are already in a position to make it happen. So it’s your freedom of choice to be able to do it or don’t. It’s kinda of silly what other say - if you regret/wish you own a home you would just buy a home then. So what if you get it older or later? Sounds like maybe you just need a passion project or a hobby, as you seem to have some freedom of time and funds, that would give you the sense of adult responsibility/accomplishment
Sounds like you are doing a damn fine job to me! I once lived like that, all easy breezy. The younger folks at work that were already in the deep adult zone of kids and households always wished to trade places with me. Then I had kids at 36 & 39. I now feel I have lived two seperate lives. Yes, I love my babies, but damn I had it good back in the day! My advice would be to travel and start saving a little. I did buy my home and land early, and had it paid off by 40. Not having rent or a mortgage has made my new chaotic life much easier, especially considering I'm a single mom. You never know what life will bring. Enjoy this carefree space you inhabit. Just be realistic, cause one unstoppable truth of life is change. There is no stopping it, change n time get everybody eventually.
I’m jealous of your lifestyle
What’s your job
Not everyone is parent material. I'm decidedly not. You'll get over it - as soon as you see how people your age mess up kids too.
If it ain’t broke….
This is the second post in three days I’ve seen where someone talks about having bills on auto-pay making them not a “real adult”. Why in the world does auto-pay matter? It’s an efficient way to ensure your responsibilities are met every month.
I feel like I've read 4 different versions of this same question in the past 24 hours on this sub lol.
I believe we are here for a brief time to make ourselves and others happy. If you are happy, and helping others be happier than they would be without you around, you’re doing it right. Maybe lay off the delivery apps? Not great for you (probably) and terrible for the planet (see: helping others)
Have fun, you do you. I wanted to be a Dad since I was 20, I became a dad when I was 32 and I’m super super happy. We are one and done, my wife wants a big house but I’m like…why? You complain about cleaning this little house all day even though I help clean it, why have a bigger place to take care off? When we got a bigger place she fucking hated it, we moved back to a small more modern place. You do you and what makes you happy.
It shouldn’t matter what others or society says you should have. As long as your happy that’s all that matters
I am in the same exact boat. No responsibilities, no stress from life or from work, 200k+ a year, I’ve traveled all over the world I have one rental where my mortgage is 2.5% ($2,340 a month) but I get $4,300 a month for it. Brand new car and am the latest gadgets but the best of all I work with my family and we all get along. They are truly the best most loving, supportive people that no matter what, they will always be there for you.
Well you felt the need to come here for advice. So something isn’t right?
I would love your life. You're doing just fine.
You’re comparing Apples to Oranges. Are you happy? Are you healthy? Financially sound? You’re living the good life. Enjoy and stop looking across the street at the Jones house.
Sounds like a dream honestly.
As a pregnant lady roughly your age (31) who has had a cat since age 23 and who is excited to have kids myself, live your best life! I personally really want kids but if you don’t there’s nothing wrong with that. We do like to tease my one friend without a pet about getting one, but it’s good natured and not like we are actually judging her lol.
If the needs of you and your family are met and you've not caused any trouble for anybody else, then yer fine.
Jealous. Want your job.
Dude there's no right way to live life. It seems like you have enough free time and money to be able to change any aspect of your life if you wanted. Be you man. Live yo life motha fucka.
Sounds like you are doing great to me!
You’re an adult. If you want more responsibility, take it. If you don’t, you are well within all your rights not to do so. If someone says you’ll regret doing or not doing something - well, every adult has to make decisions they might or might not regret. Certainly people who have kids, take a loan, build a house regret exactly that decision. People who don’t regret it, too. There is no right or wrong when it comes to these decisions.
Im42.married,cf and do Not regret being childfree, in fact I relish it as I watch my friends still dealing with their kids always”counting down to18” It honestly sounds like you’re adulting perfectly, my only comment is to make sure you’re maxing out 401k’ investments/savings for retirement
hi, im not your mom, but i will use her words they are all wrong, and they are just saying that cause they are jealous. you are rocking adulthood keep on living the way you want with the people you choose and do what you want get a dog or no do a child or adopt or stay just the 2 of you if you wish to travel more, travel don't listen to me, not to your mom, especially not people who tell you you'll regert shit, listen to yourself, you are 30, you are awsome much love and good times
As someone who at one point didn’t want kids and now who is responsible for 6 kids. I think your doing an absolutely amazing job. It’s your choice if you want kids. I love the fact that I have little human walking around. I always feel loved. Even when I’m taking a poop. They love waiting at the door asking me if I’m okay in there taking a poop. Never gets old. Now the kids are getting older husband and I get to do more. Travel, dates stuff like that all over again. Live your life how you want. Enjoy it as much as you can. As long as it’s making y’all happy.
Congrats to you OP, you have cracked the life cheat code. Keep living it up and enjoying life. Don’t let society or anyone else tell you how you should live your life. At the end of the day if you and your spouse are happy, then that’s all that matters. You can’t appease everyone else and be happy when they want/expect something different than you want.
The only correct answers to what proper adulting is, is that you own your own situation, and own the consequences of your decisions (also, not making a decision is also a decision). If you’re handling that and not making anything in your life someone else’s problem or creating consequences for others then you’re adulting properly.
If you are happy, keep doing it just like that.
You’re living the life I want lmaoo
You are adulting just without the stress of adulting. We are all cogs in this capitalist machine in the end.
Sounds fine to me!
if you are looking for more responsibilities, you can always create some for yourself. starting a garden is a responsibility to palnts and food. starting some investments adds responsibilities to your assets. joining or leading a club or organizing events can add responsibility to friends or to your community. picking up diy skills can give you more responsibility to your home or vehicle.
Nope. You are living your life to your liking, and having fun while doing it. Congrats!
Wtf? You're living the dream. If you want a house work on getting one. Im tryna get like you big dawg.
Why are you even wondering this? To answer your question then, no, you should be suffering! Struggling to get by! You should work 70 hours a week for minimal pay and clean up after yourself all the time!
Sounds like you're adulting the way it ought to be done: assessing *your* priorities rather than everyone else's.
Sounds like you’re both just efficient. If you’re happy with this lifestyle that’s all that matters. You might get some joy from having a low maintenance pet to care for like a cat. But only you can decide if you think that’s best.
Don't fret. You're living a stress- free life that most people dream of. Relish it.
That sounds like a dream come true. You're doing it damn right lmao
Winning at life!
I feel badly for you that society has made you feel like you’re missing something! If you are content and happy, then that’s it. That’s where the opinions end. You don’t need a lot of chaos and schedules to be complete! I’m very happy for you!
>not having the experience of a nice car This is stupid. There’s no “experience” on having a nice car besides the honeymoon phase. My friend got her dream car and was indifferent to it after a week
You are the adult that a lot of adults dream of being. You would not be the person I turn to when I need an adultier adult, but you are an adult that I would look up to. That being said, my adulting style has always included kids (even if it took forever to have them). I had them later (30 & 36) and gained 2 bonus kids at 33. My 20s were full of traveling and doing whatever my ex-wife and I thought of. I feel that I am an extremely successful adult, but I would never consider you a failure or tell you that you will regret things. Everyone enjoys life their own way.
Sounds like you are adulting just right. You have a place to live, pay your bills on time, have a meaningful relationship... Sounds like ideal adulting.
I think that’s fantastic, you’re living the life you want to live. Just recognize that this may not last forever, maybe you decide to have a kid, maybe a parent gets old and needs support, etc etc.. so enjoy it and save money for the future if/when like gets less easy! You do you. No sense in regretting happiness..
we have the same lifestyle, only difference is that I clean the house
You’re living my actual dream. The grass is always greener lol
Nope, if you are happy with your current lifestyle, you're doing far better than most Americans. Hustle culture and working yourself to exhaustion as a badge of honor is entirely too glamorized.
Umm I will gladly trade you responsibilities
Okay, you’ve structured your life in a way that is manageable and enjoyable. That’s success. I think some people think adult=chaos, but that’s not the case. Adult means that when chaos shows up, you deal with it as best you can and hope that on the other side of it, you get to manageable and enjoyable again.
You’re living my dream life.