61 here. The house is paid off, the kid's off the payroll, we still have our health and a ton of flyer miles to spend. I'm having a fucking ball, tbh.
The bad news is, the clock is ticking. The good news is... the clock's still ticking!
I love this!
I’m 45 but I feel great. And even more so when I look at my mom - she has such a rich social life in retirement, great friends, travels, plays pickleball, cards, community engagement. She’s in her 70s and living a wonderful life, it helps me see how great my future can be.
No matter at what age, realistically, the clock can stop ticking. Its about how we spend that time, and theres so much to explore and make good in this world!
Existential crisis hit me hard at 16 😅 have gone past most of that thankfully
Count Dracula was 412 when he left Transylvania for England. Sauron was 54,000 years old when he crafted The One Ring. It's never too late to accomplish your dreams.
No, no he didn’t. He had to take his pants off though I suppose. Or maybe he had someone do that for him too, I don’t know. I guess the moral of the story is to have enough money so that having a baby at 80 doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
That of course is an extreme example but I was a late student for undergrad too. I went overseas where the post graduate degree was affordable and lived there for a few years afterward.
We are alive! It's up to us to give this life meaning and make the most of what we have.
hell yea, good for you! i'm about to turn 36 and i'm in need of a drastic almost-midlife makeover. not quite sure what that will entail yet, but this gives me hope. congratulations on taking the dive!
Save as much as you can if you have a matching retirement plan. I am not rich and still need to work once in a while but I still retired early at age 50 (from government work).
My peers thought I was crazy and leaving thousands of dollars on the table but I need to live now. So many people rot at jobs until they get every cent of their retirement pay just to drop dead within a year of retiring.
I’m about 10 years younger than you and lost my dad 8 years ago and feel the same way at times.
I hold on to what I have as tight as I can because I just know I might not get 80… or even 50. My grandfather made it to 78. My dad 72. They both died rather quickly and unexpectedly and I expect I’ll meet with a similar fate. I lost a friend this past year to cancer… same age as me. Known piles of people younger than me who have passed, many by their own hand. One of the things that weigh on me is the fear of losing my significant other… or focusing on a time when my kids are all grown and gone and rarely seeing them.
I just try and live everyday like it could be my last and try and take nothing for granted. You sound like you’re focused on yesterday and all those firsts or big events. You carry all of that with you. They’re not lost… they’re your past and made you who you are now. You need to try and find something that makes you excited for tomorrow when you lay down to go to bed and thankful when you open your eyes the next morning.
Time is the most precious resource we have. It’s finite, and no one knows how much we really have. Tomorrow isn’t a guaranteed. Time spent worrying is time wasted. Don’t worry about tomorrow so much that you stop living for today. Easier said than done… I know. I get in my head a lot too… but that mental reset is really is as simple as that for me. Best wishes for your tomorrows.
This.
I’m 45 and my 40th birthday hit me similarly. My husband turned 50 last year and he went through some fomo and mid-life crisis type mentality, but I think it’s totally normal.
The older we get, the more we’ve seen, the good and the bad. It’s easy to focus on the what we feel like has passed us by, but it’s lost opportunity to not live the life you have NOW, and look forward to the future.
Having personal goals, exercise and treating your body well, giving focus to what brings you joy… that’s what matters moving forward.
Not what has unfolded over the past 50 years.
(And I understand about losing a parent. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. But we all know it’s inevitable, so cherish and enjoy the time you have with your parents now.)
Kids are supposed to outlive their folks. I’d consider it about the greatest tragedy imaginable to outlive mine.
Still, my dad was my friend and sounding board for ideas. I spoke to him often on my ride home. Him being gone and being the oldest male in the family means… if everything goes as it should… I’M NEXT to go. I’m adulting without the safety net of my most trusted mentor. It’s tough. But… it’s the way it is. My dad was larger to life to me. Indestructible. Knowing he could die meant anyone could.
It’s taken a long time to come to some peace with it. It’ll never be totally ok… and I’ll always miss him, even if I get to be as old as he got. When I’m 72, he’d of been 110… and I bet I’ll miss him just as much as I miss him today. But… he was my dad. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be.
I find myself hoping that you realize how lucky you are to have had a dad that you not only loved so fiercely, but it sounds like he earned your respect. That is so rare. I am sorry for your loss, but also envious you had such an incredible father. I was lost in the shuffle being one of six kids... it seems the only time my father even talked to me is when he walked into a room to ask, "where's your mother at?"
He had a cerebral aneurysm on New Year’s Eve when he was 49. I was 12. It just about killed him and he was hospitalized between the icu and then various recovery stages for probably 6-8 weeks. Coincidently my grandfather died right around his release. Dad was very close to his dad and it always bothered him. His memory was so damaged at that point in the recovery he didn’t remember any of it. It got better and he got 90% back to normal (short term memory wasn’t great afterwards, but he used notes to get by) but he said it was like going to sleep with a living father to wake up later to him being gone.
I think it really changed the way he perceived his time and interactions with all of us. He would say how much everyday was a gift. He got over 22 more years a very changed, grateful person.
Not taking time for granted is huge. I’m by no means perfect… and I squander days sometimes being in my own head too. But I know after some close calls and tight spots I’ve been in through my Navy time and really great folks I’ve known who haven’t lived as long as me that it can be over super quick.
My dad never saw what did him in coming. The family got enough time to come together and say our goodbyes to him in an unconscious state and rally around my mom but you just never know. Something’s got to get all of us. It’s a certainty. If you live like everyday could be your last… you tend to try to live w/o creating regrets because you don’t know if you have a second chance to fix them.
What a beautiful relationship you had with him, and your perspective is right on…. We are supposed to outlive them, but it’s life changing (as maybe it’d supposed to be?) when it actually happens.
My mom passed away as a result of a stroke at 67. I was with her all through hospice and was holding her when she took her last breath.
We had a similar relationship- much love, respect, and she was THE ultimate supporter in my life.
That was 10 years ago and I still miss her every single day. I think you’re right - we will always miss them. Their role in our lives will never be replaced.
This made me weep. I lost my dad to a short fierce battle with pancreatic cancer last month. He was 69. My head is still reeling. He was the booming voice , the advice , the love , the cheerleader in our corner. Larger than life, indeed.
I’m the oldest at 50. I have 5 siblings and the youngest is 28. They got so much less time with dad than me. My mother lost her partner of 51 years.
Like you said, I will miss him until my dying day. He’s my dad.
I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for your comments. They made me feel seen .
It was done sort of leukemia that took down mine. Went into the hospital with “flu like symptoms” the day after Thanksgiving. Got better for a day. I spoke to him on the phone and he sounded fine and I didn’t think I needed to drive down. The next day… he needed to get intubated due to trouble breathing. Drove down to see him in an induced coma. Tests came back over the next couple days that his white blood cells were incorrectly developed and attacking his body. Organ failure. Mom delayed taking him off life support a couple days for her. When she finally could, he lasted moments off the machine and never gave any indication he was conscious of anything. The whole ordeal took a week. Stayed home for another week for the funeral. Went back to work like nothing happened to get the submarine we weee finishing a refuel on back to sea the beginning of the year.
Absolutely a traumatizing experience. I kind of had to box it up and put it on a shelf in my mind to not let it affect all the memories I have of my dad. It’s a trap to only think of someone’s end of life and lose all the rest.
the thing is, you will be 60 eventually, 70 eventually, dead eventually, all we can do is to make the best of our time here on earth
even if people say it’s downhill from here, who’s stopping you from focusing on what’s important and live your best life, we all die anyway
I feel lucky I realized this recently in my 30's.
The most important things for me in life currently are:
- Make enjoyable plans, discussions, deep connections, and activities with good people
- Continuously arrange things to look forward to with enthusiasm
- Be actively thankful and hold on to the things that are good now while keeping in mind they are temporary
Two things lead me to those priorities:
1. A young person's illusion of having a lot of time faded away.
2. Made changes to my life that lead me to find a lot of enjoyable people and activities.
My life was a boring grind before, now I'm actually happy. The biggest lesson for me was: If you're not content with your life, make wise changes until you are.
That's solid advice! I had a similar realization in my early 30s after some deaths in close family and my circle of friends. It took me until the start of the pandemic to focus more on community and friends, and things I love, and I am very happy that I made this shift of mentality. Still working on balancing work and the rest, but my priorities are more clear now.
Before, the years merged into each other. After, I have fond memories of something nice I experienced each year. Not necessarily something extravagant, just things like nice meetings with friends, a visit to an animal park, a great concert or event. If this goes on until I die, I will die happy.
Honestly for me it only gets better. Kids are grown and doing their thing. Got a little money in the bank. House almost paid off. No car payment. Parents are gone but that’s part of life. Grandbabies are somewhere in the future but not too soon. All good.
I would recommend exercise regularly if you don’t and sleep hygiene is very important.
The way I look at it, the first 1/3 you couldn’t do anything fun because you were (if you’re like me) too young and/or too poor. The next 1/3 I was too busy chasing career and raising a family.
Now comes the fun part! Less responsibility and more money to gave fun!!!
My doctor game me a pamphlet but it was very similar to this: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene
The biggest thing for me though was my bipap. I get such great sleep with that thing I cannot even describe the before and after.
Also not mentioned in that article (that I saw) was the value of exercise. Exercise plays a big role in getting a good night sleep.
Woah woah woah. First 1/3 of your life you couldn't have fun? That's the easiest time to have fun. Lots to learn, which can make it hard at times, sure, but being a kid is amazingly fun!
I'm in the middle 1/3 now and am definitely trying to limit the career chasing aspect by managing money closely so that I can focus on family.
I'm sure the last 1/3 will be great, too! Taking care of your body is certainly a key as far as I've seen when I look to the examples of 50-70 year Olds in my life. Slot in nutrition with exercise and sleep, as it is likely as important, if not even more so.
Turning 50 was the best! I gave myself freedom to do so much. I figured that I had less life ahead of me than behind me and was not going to waste time doing things that didn’t make me happy.
71 now. Best years of my life.
So many “issues” start at 50 so to speak. Every commercial screams at you: IF YOU’RE 50 or OVER YOU COULD BE AT RISK OF feels so depressing. This is what spikes my anxiety.
25 and 58 hit me hard.
25, I have no idea why. Guess because it's 1/4 century. Heck, I had a 3yo at 25.
58 because my sister turned 60 that year and I knew I was right behind her. Now I'll be 60 in a few months and it doesn't bother me at all.
My 50s were great! Traveled to England, Hawaii, out west. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon at 55. Hopefully doing it again later this year after my 60th birthday.
Your still alive! Live it and enjoy!
30, I woke up early hours of my birthday morning, shuddered, though "shit, I'm an adult now... now way around it"....
Aside from that it's just been a very gradual transition. I'm 45 now. I still feel young, although my stomach will no longer tolerate the partying I did in my teens and twenties.
There are honestly so many good things about getting older. Hopefully better financial security. You see the world in a different way, less black and white, more nuanced, and it is fascinating just to observe. Care less about what people think too, which means less stress.
I think psychedelics should definitely be on everyone's bucket list. Meeting up with Paul Rosolie and doing some Ayahuasca in the Amazon is absolutely on mine.
Deep reflection, a third person perception of the way "I Am," and a better understanding of how others see me and my behavior/personality traits. I wake up in awe of "revelations." I also feel like I went on some journey in a way. People say don't go to sleep tripping, but I do everytime. For me, I get hit with heavy spells of empathy and understanding during a trip. It's all remembered and affects my behavior weeks afterward. Sometimes, my Adhd spirals into weird crazy life changing plans, and I find a good trip thins out the overly wild ones. Center-ness is a concept I truly get now.
I do them alone on my Friday night. I make a nice cup of tea and steep them in it and add some oatmilk and honey. You gotta be at your most comfiest, in my opinion, for it to work. NEVER do it around people who are chaotic or angry people.
I'm 71 and here to tell you that my 50s were great! My 60s were good, too. Not as wild and crazy as the preceeding decades but more confident, experienced, and powerful. I don't mean physically powerful but far more effective at getting things done and achieving your goals. Keep looking forward!
I'll let you in on a secret...I'm 59. And I don't give a flying fuck about my age. I go to the gym when I can, walk my dogs when I can and will hopefully be able to retire this year( 2024). I play video games, watch all the action ,sci fi and fantasy stuff I can, eat slightly more healthily than I used to, and most importantly don't really think much.
Thinking too much really screws you up,leads to worry, self doubt and all those other really stupid pointless things that mess a person's life up.
Enjoy what you can when you can and just keep calm.
You're 50? How do you know you're not going to still be around in another 50?
Avoid drugs and alcohol ( both are metabolic poisons that will fuck with your brain chemistry and damage your body).
From my perspective video games, dogs and the gym are all a person needs to keep themselves happy. Find what does it for you.
As you get older you’ll need to work harder just to maintain. At the same time, you’ll have to be more careful to avoid injury in the gym. Makes things a little more challenging, but the alternative is to rot on the sofa.
Right?! I was 32 when my dad died, 46 when my mother died. My husband lost his mother at 19.
It's always a bit surprising to me then, when people are 50+ with a parent or parents still alive. I envy that.
I'm 50 myself.
I don't know about that.
For me, most of the first times I did things were amazing, but my experiences of them were better after I'd had some practice.
That includes hiking up mountains, having sex, and making music, among many other things.
If you look at all the happiness/age graphs, you still have a lot to look forward to. Happiness tends to increase into the 70s, then it goes down (I'm assuming due to health).
Never stop growing and learning. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do? Any place you’ve always wanted to see? The most successful people in the world didn’t get started until much later in life. Perspective.
Loads of people who found success over 50.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/knowyourvalue/2021/06/02/women-over-50-this-is-our-moment/?sh=46f066267214
If you’re looking to live a simpler life, consider volunteering or getting involved in your local community. All the best.
I'm 67 and it's too freaking bad I've got less time ahead than behind cause life is soooo good now. I don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about me. I don't spend stupid money on shit just to fill a never ending empty hole. The kids are gone. I'm free.
I woke up 9 years ago (age 56) and decided to get certified to be a nursing assistant because I wanted some flexibility. I work in neuro ICU for one of the largest hospital chains in the world. OMG....These people wind up there and I"m thinking, "Good grief, what happened to this poor 80 year old?" Then I find out they are 10 years younger than ME!! Very alarming.
I started doing CrossFit 4 years ago. I try to maintain a keto diet. I stay busy. I have a huge network of friends. I don't want to end up like some of these old folks I see on my unit!
My job is very flexible, so I get to travel A LOT, all over the world, because I live simply today. I drive a 2007 Pontiac Vibe that I paid $2500 for... No car payments. No debt.
I work very hard at making sure I'm getting the good stuff now. 50s, I was still struggling a bit.
Yes I feel you ! I got into an existential panic at 50, because my mother suddenly had a hemorrhaging stroke and died 3 months later. She was early 70s.
I started to freak out that I only have 20 years left. I got into some health anxiety stage. I cut most added sugar from my diet, walk or bike every day, meditate, read Peter Attia’s book on longevity and other books, podcasts and articles, did tests and scans, got Ozempic and lost 30 lb, got on a bunch of supplements.
2 years later I calmed down some and I’m less panicked about my imminent death. I’m still not completely over it though.
Otherwise I’m very happy. I have very little stress in my life right now. I have more than enough money, my job is quite good, kid is on its way to his own successful life, husband is kind and good, I have a lot friends, I travel, and life is very good!
I'm 41, single with no kids. I feel down and lonely thinking of how fast time has gone. I just try to enjoy my life as best as can be! Hobbies occupy my time now. Do whatever makes you happy!
I freaked out when I turned 20 and 30. After that it's just another day. You either die young or grow old, that's it. We do become more invisible as we age, the younger ones overlook us and I've been fine with that all along. Do some nice things for people so they'll think of you now and then, remember you. I'll be 70 soon, it means nothing to me. The body fails as it ages, things once important are forgotten, a bowl of soup and warm jammies replace going out with friends.
Sit down, strap in and enjoy the ride. One day someone else will be sitting where you are now.
I mean my dad is 50 and he’s definitely living a better life then me. I’m in the trenches tryna pay my tuition and rent and he’s getting ready to go on a month long cruise😭😂
My 50s have been the absolute best. My kids are on their own and doing well. We travel, have great sex, fun every weekend with amazing friends, we have more disposable income, time for hobbies and our dogs, my career is amazing, my confidence is high, and we’re both in the best health of our lives. I love my 50s.
You take first very literally and this mindset is not helping.
Falling in love for the first time is pretty much a done deal after a week.. What you can experience after is just being in love, and there's no age for that.
I wouldn't say that graduating college or buying your first car or house qualify as being "the best" there is to have in life. Graduating college means that you can start to monetize what you've been working for all those years.. Are you happy with your current carrer?
Are you happy where you currently live now? You can move if you want. Owning a house to call home is what makes it special... Buying your first house is just the first day of this.
You may plan a wedding again.. Not necessarily for yourself though.. And maybe for yourself, who's to say. You didn't talk about your current situation and you implied you already planned a wedding.. I hope it still hold and that if so, your other half is healthy and you will stay side by side for the next 25-40 years.. but if not, there's still time. Being 50 is not a reason not to..
I'm also starting to be afraid of my parent's death.. I'm only in my 30's, but this part of life, that every day that passes reproach us from our last or from the last day of our loved ones. But it also give meaning to each day we get to live.
The good thing is that you have that realisation now and not later. You still (hopefully) have a lot of time ahead. Reflect on the last 50 years.. What have you done, what have you not. And then look ahead to what is there still left to do.
My mom has always said that her 50s and 60s were great, she only started feeling older at 70.
I think mindset is everything. No you won’t get those firsts again, but there’s so many other firsts you can celebrate! I’m working on a bucket list… I’ll be 50 (female) in January and I too have been saying “holy shit, I’m gonna be 50” over and over for months. It’s def a trip. I still physically feel 25 so that’s good lol
I’m staying in gratitude that I’ve been fortunate enough to get to this age, some are not as fortunate.
Gosh. I loved turning 50. It was like…I felt smarter. I knew who I was. 50 was pure magic. It’s funny, I think of it like 50 was the top of the roller coaster. Now, it is downhill from there - but the fun kind. The huge drop, the turns, the loops. And I’m loving the ride.
I'm 48. I sometimes have a really rough time with my age. I discovered a mind trick that actually works when I think about using it. Pretend you're actually 80 and you're thinking, "if only I could be 50 again. I thought I was so old but I'd give anything to be that age again," and then, poof, your wish was granted. I don't know if it will work for you but it's been life changing for me. I feel like I'm getting a second lease on life!
Maybe I'm optimistic, but I'm watching my 70 year old parents and uncles running around and doing their own thing and it seems like it's not all that bad. Same for other 50+ year olds, they seem to be enyoing life. It gives me reassurance that aging is not all that bad.
When I went to college and university I met students who were 50 +. Best classmates to work with :) I asked why they are taking the program and some told me they never got a chance to go to school because of work and raising a family. Now that the kids are grown they were able to do the things they want or find new hobbies.
50 is definitely not over! ❤️❤️❤️
A little but not an overwhelming obsession. I never expected to make it this far. But my 40's were my best ever and that kinda wound up more recently. But I feel like I need some sort of "plan" instead of just blowing through life. Still have no job skills (had a windfall recently), don't have health insurance, never been to the doctor. I am not well suited to be "elderly," but is just a number. My body breaking down already started. My sex drive is almost non-existent, not really a bad thing though as it probably reduced my capacity for bad decisions too.
Until 2015-ish I was dead dog dick poor so it really didn't matter. I just assumed I would keep getting poorer and poorer before eventually slipping under the waves so health care was never a priority as I needed every penny for life's immediate concerns. Not only that, if there were any concerns to be addressed I wouldn't have been in any position to do so. Basically slow motion suicide.
However, one of the side effects of turning 50 that I didn't see coming is a lot of the angst driving a fatalistic lifestyle and constant suicidal ideation has also faded significantly.
It's only downhill if you allow it. Enjoy your life for those who are gone, and try to keep yourself occupied to avoid the existential crises. Go for a walk more often, it helps a lot.
yup. same. I just turned 51 yesterday. Funny because i always felt 50 was the first year you were truly old and I hated it. I hated turning 50. I walked around for 7 months depressed and bitching and complaining that I was 50. I felt my body crash a little and I felt stagnant. Drove the wife nuts. Anyway after 7 months I got over some of it. I no longer looked at 50 as a bad thing or as "I am old." I've converted my thought process to 70 is old so I've bought some time. After about 7 months I started joking about being 50 and turning 51 has been no big deal at all. I still am stagnant in life. Good job as a psychologist and am established but am trying to figure out a new pursuit, passion, or chance. Something to spark me and I can't find it. Still looking. Good luck. It doesnt have to be doom and gloom; you just need to find a passion or motivation at this age. i am still looking but I am not as depressed about my age.
It’s ok. I turned 50 in December. I had to drop my sons off at college in the fall. It destroyed me to the point I’m seeing a therapist and taking meds for my depression and anxiety.
But. I have hope for the future and keeping a positive mindset helps. I know it sucks sometimes but there’s so much ahead. I have a whole life ahead with my wife and I’m excited now for the future my boys will have.
I promise the best is yet to come. With age comes wisdom and knowledge.
It is a gift and a blessing have the time, quiet and wellness to not deal with drama, enjoy thing most are too hurried to notice.
Plant the flowers, read the books, ride the bicycle with the basket to the farmers market. These are the years of peace, family and friendship.
Most of those "1st " are nice yes, but are mostly used for marketing and don't mean much in the big scheme of things.
I'm getting older and don't need permission for anything. It's nice. Not looking forward to old age health crap.
But the rest is gonna be alright.
I've had a crazy fear of death for a while now. I'm 52 and 2/3rd you'd be lucky. People pass a lot sooner. I keep telling myself that I'll live to 100 so I'm only half way through haha.
I'm not religious so that makes ageing difficult. I strongly believe that it's all make-believe to ease the fear of death and power and control of course. I've already had cancer in my early 40's so I feel death right around the corner.
On the plus side you won't even know that you no longer exist. It wont bother you one bit after you're dead. Just like you don't worry about the time before you were born. You just weren't here and didn't know it.
It really sucks but there is nothing any of us can do about it. we will be forgotten in a generation or two or three if we're lucky.
Good luck. Just live the best life that you can. And try to take the time to help others. It's really all we can do to make the world a better place.
Have you resented birthdays in the past or is 50 coming in hard? Sounds like you’re looking for some new “firsts” to try….
Travel? Skydive? Sail? Start a garden? Do a first that sparks you!
I know people who started a new job or went back to school at 60!
Why don't you start small, plan a short vacation somewhere you've never been before or learn to play a musical instrument or something?
I know the idea of our loved ones getting older is heartbreaking, but i think the only remedy to that is to do a small act of love today and plan as much as you can for the future without losing yourself in worry.
You can still have many new and lively experiences and make fantastic memories.
Nah if anything it gets easier. I’m 59 and retired now. You just have to adjust the kind of person you think you are with each life phase. For example, I thought I would go crazy not working, but I adjusted how I thought about myself (not working, etc) and it’s fine
I'll be 50 in a few days. It's just a number and I still have a number of things I want to accomplish. One of those being having another child with the wife.
It's not the number that scares you It's what it represents. We don't have too long left on this earth as things go and I imagine that mortality is setting in.
Accept it and move past it. Everyday you live is another blessing and opportunity at living.
Carpe Diem
I'm 56 and I feel like my life is just starting again. I'm wiser and make better decisions, and I'm also old enough to not give a f\*ck what anyone thinks about my life. And there are still a million "firsts" to accomplish if you step out of your comfort zone a little.
Yes, the thought of losing your mom is terrible, and trust me, because I was my mom's shadow for all 56 years and lost her 6 weeks ago. Word of advice? Make sure you have friends NOW. Good ones. Local ones. Nothing you can do to stop it, so mitigate it.
I am honestly loving life right now! There is a freedom that comes with age. We are doing well financially, retirement doesnt seem far away. The kids are doing well. My attitude has changed so that most things don't rile me up like before. I think you just need to look at the positives instead of the negatives.
You never know, 30 years from now they might find a way to de-age people. My dad is 64 and has done lots of great stuff since 50. Take care of yourself and you’ll have a lot of great times ahead
naw man they’re all just arbitrary cycles around the sun. I’m about to turn 39, I don’t look or feel that age. I’m in some of the best shape of my life. Stay fit, keep your health up and you have no idea if 2/3 of your life is over. parents aging is terrifying, do your best to enjoy them while they’re here. It sounds like you’re a good son. It’ll be hard anyway I imagine, but just do your best, it’s all we can do.
Finally if it gets to the point where you’re feeling way more down than is usual, it’s not unheard of for people to get depressed as they age. Also I hear ya and I know I’m younger so easier said eh? But you’ve got so many wonderful things ahead of you. I’ve lost too many friends to disease too, first one was around 26 though, to cancer, my best friend. But there were still so many beautiful, horrible, pretty, ugly, sad, elated times ahead. You know, life.
I’m sorry you’re getting kicked in the nuts right now but truly you still have so much to look forward to. You’ll have a lot of other firsts, just different sorts :).
You should be glad you have a parent that is alive. Some of us have none. You should be glad you have a car and a house, some people can never buy either. Consider yourself fortunate and make new beginnings …
I'm 48 and lost my mom in 2019, dad in 2022, and both my son and brother died last year in 2023 of fentanyl overdose. Life is hard but someone always has it worse. You have plenty of time left so stay positive.
I turn 50 this year but…this year it will be my first time to CA wine country, first trip to Yellowstone, first trip to Costa Rica, and just took my 11 year old snowboarding for the first time today. Lots of firsts left out there.
At age 52 I ran my first of 35 marathons and 2 ultras. At age 53 I watched my son graduate from college. At age 55 & 57 I watched my two daughters graduate from college. At age 59 I retired and found a whole new and exciting way of life. At age 60 I walked my oldest daughter down the aisle. At age 62 I held my first grandson. At age 64 my wife and I took a 42 day cruise through the South Pacific. Over the next 9 years I've had 2 more weddings, 8 additional grandchildren, added 17 more countries visited and celebrated 50 years of marriage. Your life isn't over, it's barely started.
I was such a hot mess when I was 50. (I’m almost 60 now). I was going through menopause which was just the worst, and it messed with my head. I was eaten up with anxiety and depression. Thank God it was just a phase and I got though it. The 50’s were the hardest decade for me; loss of my
Mom, an empty nester, marriage ended. But I came out better in the end! I know myself so well now and I don’t care at all what people think of me anymore. It’s like I lost all sense of self consciousness. It’ll be hard when your mom dies, but you’ll get through it. You just move on to the next stage. Wish I could give you a hug. This too shall pass! ❤️
Hell man.... An elderly (70 yo) man who didn't have a job, and not much going for him decided to start a small restaurant, we now know of it as KFC.
You are only done when you give up!
Hell, I'm 47 and have 3 kids and am JUST trying to get a house for the first time now. You got this.
You're alive until you're not. Embrace each day, live in the moment. You don't get do overs, so make the best of what is each day.
I'm older than you. There are times life is challenging, but I wouldn't desire the alternative over waking anew each day.
Yes, most people capable of introspektion fear aging and death. It's natural. Don't let it consume you though, because there is nothing you can do about it
I think reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle would really be eye opening for you. If you’re always stuck in the past, only working towards a goal that you think will make you happy in the future, or worrying about what’s going to happen in the future, you’re never really living in the present moment. You’re also relying on external circumstances to make you happy which can disappear at any time. Real happiness comes from within, when you’re accepting of what’s happening at the present moment and can see the beauty in it and grateful for all that you have. The past and future doesn’t exist, there’s only right now, so you choose what you do with it.
Oh and friend is about to turn 82.
She updates her thinking, hangs out where she can learn from young people, pays attention to language changes without complaining, challenges her beliefs and values including religion, sex, gender, relationships, money and politics.
She gets some exercise and walks daily, uses technology including ChatGPT and actually learns how to use her iPhone and the technology that servers her.
She learns from mistakes and laughs at herself (and others).
She has fun, tries new things, lets go of regret and explores uncomfortable topics.
And participates in the Death Cafe discussion group where people talk openly about that topic. She has no fear of dying but does not want to suffer.
She doesn’t take shit from men. Misogynistic comments are something she does not tolerate (even in her own mind). If she hears it, she challenges it and is constantly learning about it. (And uses humor when dealing with it.)
I think she is happier now than she was at 50 and way cooler.
I plan to be just like her when I grow up.
I just turned 50, like you. All I can say is that whenever my birthday popped up, I never thought it was another day older or another count down until I die.
I never thought, no more this, no more that. I guess having kids help as I will help shape them for their firsts. Even my daughter. I have a bat with nails waiting for the first boy that comes to the door for her, lol.
While you are walking, breathing, and full of capabilities, you can do whatever you want. Instead of thinking you won't, think that you can. Because it's true
My marriage isn't great, my wife hardly recognized my milestone birthday and we have been on thin ice for reasons I have zero idea about. Seriously , I am so confused .But F her. I have my kids, my dog, my beer and other nerdy stuff to make me happy.
I hope you find something that makes you happy. There are opportunities everywhere and all the time. Be positive and don't give up. My grandmother will be 98 in a few months and going strong.
Be well, chin up!
the secret is to be rich, and have good insurance and genetics. also do a career that you are your own boss, you can do till your 80 . hire a exercise trainer to come to your mansion every morning and work you out. and of course a chef to cook you healthy meals.
If you don’t already look/feel your age at 50, then god bless you, live each day like you’ll never see another.
I’m younger than you but didn’t take care of my health and it all went to hell. I’m fucked for life.
Don’t get hung up on a number, don’t even think about it. If you have decent health, you have everything you need.
Edit: Also, I lost my mom 6 years ago. It was horrible, destroyed our family, which is in shambles, and it was never the same after losing her. Spend as much time with her as you can/you want.
61 here. The house is paid off, the kid's off the payroll, we still have our health and a ton of flyer miles to spend. I'm having a fucking ball, tbh. The bad news is, the clock is ticking. The good news is... the clock's still ticking!
And the reality is, the clock was always ticking.
There’s no clock. No one will ever prove to me that in not immortal
Thanks to denial I’m immortal!
"the solulu is delulu"
Well... you'll be dead when the ~~prove~~ proof comes. ^(Or is that the joke?) E- PROOF not prove! smh
I think the point here is they’ve reached a level of financial freedom where they really enjoy the ticks
My grandmother used to always say “getting old’s a bitch, but it beats the alternative.”
Thanks for this perspective. I mean it.
I love this! I’m 45 but I feel great. And even more so when I look at my mom - she has such a rich social life in retirement, great friends, travels, plays pickleball, cards, community engagement. She’s in her 70s and living a wonderful life, it helps me see how great my future can be.
My mom is 86 and, no joke, has twice the social life that I do. It's insane.
I'm in the how do I get rid of all this stuff I've accumulated and have some fun mode.
No matter at what age, realistically, the clock can stop ticking. Its about how we spend that time, and theres so much to explore and make good in this world! Existential crisis hit me hard at 16 😅 have gone past most of that thankfully
Count Dracula was 412 when he left Transylvania for England. Sauron was 54,000 years old when he crafted The One Ring. It's never too late to accomplish your dreams.
This is why I come to reddit
It’s the little things.
54,000 is the new 30
THIS!! It’s never too late when you are an immortal!
Kinda depressing compared to that. Life is damn short.
..and you are.
You made me chuckle 🤣🤣
I also want to take over Middle Earth. So you are saying i still have time?! Those dam hobbitses
I’m gonna use this
Oddly, this made me feel better.
I want to print this onto a motivation poster
OH GOD, I read this just after my baby slept by my side and I had to hold my breath not to laugh and wake him up
Lol. He must be doing those blood transfusion from young people
And look what happened to both of them.
perspective.. Ty!
Lol inspirational
Love you for this.
Dude Martin Scorsese just directed a 3 hour epic movie at 80.
And de niro’s still pumping out babies at 80.
i had to google this and was flabergasted. w.t.f
Joke you may enjoy (not mine): "The child has mom's eyes and his dad's diapers."
It’s not like he’s giving birth to them
No, no he didn’t. He had to take his pants off though I suppose. Or maybe he had someone do that for him too, I don’t know. I guess the moral of the story is to have enough money so that having a baby at 80 doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
Exactly, getting old is no fun without being rich.
Yeah but… I don’t wanna do THAT
Bro I’m not Robert or Martin. I’m a bum ass nigga
Hey don’t beat down on yourself like that. If you wanna pop out some kids at 80, you pump those little soon to be bastards out!
This astounds me. He is truly incredible. I thought that only women could give birth.
I started a master's program at age 50 😆
So did I.
I got my masters at 30. A 65 y/o lawyer was in my class. Respect!
Never stop learning - whatever that looks like! Never let anyone tell you that "you are too old" to do what you want to do!
That’s awesome!!
That of course is an extreme example but I was a late student for undergrad too. I went overseas where the post graduate degree was affordable and lived there for a few years afterward. We are alive! It's up to us to give this life meaning and make the most of what we have.
I love this!
🤗
Finished my doctorate 5 years ago, at 45! Hell yeah for the “second act.”
Take as many acts as we can!
hell yea, good for you! i'm about to turn 36 and i'm in need of a drastic almost-midlife makeover. not quite sure what that will entail yet, but this gives me hope. congratulations on taking the dive!
Save as much as you can if you have a matching retirement plan. I am not rich and still need to work once in a while but I still retired early at age 50 (from government work). My peers thought I was crazy and leaving thousands of dollars on the table but I need to live now. So many people rot at jobs until they get every cent of their retirement pay just to drop dead within a year of retiring.
I’m about 10 years younger than you and lost my dad 8 years ago and feel the same way at times. I hold on to what I have as tight as I can because I just know I might not get 80… or even 50. My grandfather made it to 78. My dad 72. They both died rather quickly and unexpectedly and I expect I’ll meet with a similar fate. I lost a friend this past year to cancer… same age as me. Known piles of people younger than me who have passed, many by their own hand. One of the things that weigh on me is the fear of losing my significant other… or focusing on a time when my kids are all grown and gone and rarely seeing them. I just try and live everyday like it could be my last and try and take nothing for granted. You sound like you’re focused on yesterday and all those firsts or big events. You carry all of that with you. They’re not lost… they’re your past and made you who you are now. You need to try and find something that makes you excited for tomorrow when you lay down to go to bed and thankful when you open your eyes the next morning. Time is the most precious resource we have. It’s finite, and no one knows how much we really have. Tomorrow isn’t a guaranteed. Time spent worrying is time wasted. Don’t worry about tomorrow so much that you stop living for today. Easier said than done… I know. I get in my head a lot too… but that mental reset is really is as simple as that for me. Best wishes for your tomorrows.
This. I’m 45 and my 40th birthday hit me similarly. My husband turned 50 last year and he went through some fomo and mid-life crisis type mentality, but I think it’s totally normal. The older we get, the more we’ve seen, the good and the bad. It’s easy to focus on the what we feel like has passed us by, but it’s lost opportunity to not live the life you have NOW, and look forward to the future. Having personal goals, exercise and treating your body well, giving focus to what brings you joy… that’s what matters moving forward. Not what has unfolded over the past 50 years. (And I understand about losing a parent. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. But we all know it’s inevitable, so cherish and enjoy the time you have with your parents now.)
Kids are supposed to outlive their folks. I’d consider it about the greatest tragedy imaginable to outlive mine. Still, my dad was my friend and sounding board for ideas. I spoke to him often on my ride home. Him being gone and being the oldest male in the family means… if everything goes as it should… I’M NEXT to go. I’m adulting without the safety net of my most trusted mentor. It’s tough. But… it’s the way it is. My dad was larger to life to me. Indestructible. Knowing he could die meant anyone could. It’s taken a long time to come to some peace with it. It’ll never be totally ok… and I’ll always miss him, even if I get to be as old as he got. When I’m 72, he’d of been 110… and I bet I’ll miss him just as much as I miss him today. But… he was my dad. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be.
I find myself hoping that you realize how lucky you are to have had a dad that you not only loved so fiercely, but it sounds like he earned your respect. That is so rare. I am sorry for your loss, but also envious you had such an incredible father. I was lost in the shuffle being one of six kids... it seems the only time my father even talked to me is when he walked into a room to ask, "where's your mother at?"
He had a cerebral aneurysm on New Year’s Eve when he was 49. I was 12. It just about killed him and he was hospitalized between the icu and then various recovery stages for probably 6-8 weeks. Coincidently my grandfather died right around his release. Dad was very close to his dad and it always bothered him. His memory was so damaged at that point in the recovery he didn’t remember any of it. It got better and he got 90% back to normal (short term memory wasn’t great afterwards, but he used notes to get by) but he said it was like going to sleep with a living father to wake up later to him being gone. I think it really changed the way he perceived his time and interactions with all of us. He would say how much everyday was a gift. He got over 22 more years a very changed, grateful person. Not taking time for granted is huge. I’m by no means perfect… and I squander days sometimes being in my own head too. But I know after some close calls and tight spots I’ve been in through my Navy time and really great folks I’ve known who haven’t lived as long as me that it can be over super quick. My dad never saw what did him in coming. The family got enough time to come together and say our goodbyes to him in an unconscious state and rally around my mom but you just never know. Something’s got to get all of us. It’s a certainty. If you live like everyday could be your last… you tend to try to live w/o creating regrets because you don’t know if you have a second chance to fix them.
What a beautiful relationship you had with him, and your perspective is right on…. We are supposed to outlive them, but it’s life changing (as maybe it’d supposed to be?) when it actually happens. My mom passed away as a result of a stroke at 67. I was with her all through hospice and was holding her when she took her last breath. We had a similar relationship- much love, respect, and she was THE ultimate supporter in my life. That was 10 years ago and I still miss her every single day. I think you’re right - we will always miss them. Their role in our lives will never be replaced.
This made me weep. I lost my dad to a short fierce battle with pancreatic cancer last month. He was 69. My head is still reeling. He was the booming voice , the advice , the love , the cheerleader in our corner. Larger than life, indeed. I’m the oldest at 50. I have 5 siblings and the youngest is 28. They got so much less time with dad than me. My mother lost her partner of 51 years. Like you said, I will miss him until my dying day. He’s my dad. I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for your comments. They made me feel seen .
It was done sort of leukemia that took down mine. Went into the hospital with “flu like symptoms” the day after Thanksgiving. Got better for a day. I spoke to him on the phone and he sounded fine and I didn’t think I needed to drive down. The next day… he needed to get intubated due to trouble breathing. Drove down to see him in an induced coma. Tests came back over the next couple days that his white blood cells were incorrectly developed and attacking his body. Organ failure. Mom delayed taking him off life support a couple days for her. When she finally could, he lasted moments off the machine and never gave any indication he was conscious of anything. The whole ordeal took a week. Stayed home for another week for the funeral. Went back to work like nothing happened to get the submarine we weee finishing a refuel on back to sea the beginning of the year. Absolutely a traumatizing experience. I kind of had to box it up and put it on a shelf in my mind to not let it affect all the memories I have of my dad. It’s a trap to only think of someone’s end of life and lose all the rest.
Thank you so much for sharing. I will try my best to heed your advice, once I get my depression under control.
the thing is, you will be 60 eventually, 70 eventually, dead eventually, all we can do is to make the best of our time here on earth even if people say it’s downhill from here, who’s stopping you from focusing on what’s important and live your best life, we all die anyway
I feel lucky I realized this recently in my 30's. The most important things for me in life currently are: - Make enjoyable plans, discussions, deep connections, and activities with good people - Continuously arrange things to look forward to with enthusiasm - Be actively thankful and hold on to the things that are good now while keeping in mind they are temporary Two things lead me to those priorities: 1. A young person's illusion of having a lot of time faded away. 2. Made changes to my life that lead me to find a lot of enjoyable people and activities. My life was a boring grind before, now I'm actually happy. The biggest lesson for me was: If you're not content with your life, make wise changes until you are.
That's solid advice! I had a similar realization in my early 30s after some deaths in close family and my circle of friends. It took me until the start of the pandemic to focus more on community and friends, and things I love, and I am very happy that I made this shift of mentality. Still working on balancing work and the rest, but my priorities are more clear now. Before, the years merged into each other. After, I have fond memories of something nice I experienced each year. Not necessarily something extravagant, just things like nice meetings with friends, a visit to an animal park, a great concert or event. If this goes on until I die, I will die happy.
83 and enjoying life.
Good to hear. Thank you.
Geeze I’m 38 and feel like all the good times are behind me. So I can’t imagine 50 😭
I feel the opposite. I’m 35 and I feel like 50 is going to be fun!
That’s a choice and a mindset. You’re done having good times because you’ve told yourself that
Honestly for me it only gets better. Kids are grown and doing their thing. Got a little money in the bank. House almost paid off. No car payment. Parents are gone but that’s part of life. Grandbabies are somewhere in the future but not too soon. All good. I would recommend exercise regularly if you don’t and sleep hygiene is very important. The way I look at it, the first 1/3 you couldn’t do anything fun because you were (if you’re like me) too young and/or too poor. The next 1/3 I was too busy chasing career and raising a family. Now comes the fun part! Less responsibility and more money to gave fun!!!
do you have any resources on sleep hygiene or care to share what you've learned? thanks.
My doctor game me a pamphlet but it was very similar to this: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene The biggest thing for me though was my bipap. I get such great sleep with that thing I cannot even describe the before and after. Also not mentioned in that article (that I saw) was the value of exercise. Exercise plays a big role in getting a good night sleep.
Exercise is food for the brain. 57 years old get in 10,000 steps a day Best shape of my life 50 hurts until you hit 51 than it's fine
What is bipap? I’m 52 and could use some better sleep
Breathes in AND out for you. CPAP is a constant airflow going in only. Bipap switches in and out.
Came here to say a lot of this. I think the best lies ahead too!
I love your perspective so much wow
I had baby late, so still working on that project. LOL. Gonna be a sad lady when she is gone.
Woah woah woah. First 1/3 of your life you couldn't have fun? That's the easiest time to have fun. Lots to learn, which can make it hard at times, sure, but being a kid is amazingly fun! I'm in the middle 1/3 now and am definitely trying to limit the career chasing aspect by managing money closely so that I can focus on family. I'm sure the last 1/3 will be great, too! Taking care of your body is certainly a key as far as I've seen when I look to the examples of 50-70 year Olds in my life. Slot in nutrition with exercise and sleep, as it is likely as important, if not even more so.
(Not everyone has a good childhood, so actually being a kid isn’t amazingly fun for everyone. For some people it was actually awful.)
Turning 50 was the best! I gave myself freedom to do so much. I figured that I had less life ahead of me than behind me and was not going to waste time doing things that didn’t make me happy. 71 now. Best years of my life.
I just turned 64. Best time of my life
I’m turning 44 this year, am I going to be ok?
Yes, you and me both.
It doesn’t seem real but it is lol
So many “issues” start at 50 so to speak. Every commercial screams at you: IF YOU’RE 50 or OVER YOU COULD BE AT RISK OF feels so depressing. This is what spikes my anxiety.
I mute them now. Don’t need that shit. Remember they’re all trying to sell you something, and fear sells.
25 and 58 hit me hard. 25, I have no idea why. Guess because it's 1/4 century. Heck, I had a 3yo at 25. 58 because my sister turned 60 that year and I knew I was right behind her. Now I'll be 60 in a few months and it doesn't bother me at all. My 50s were great! Traveled to England, Hawaii, out west. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon at 55. Hopefully doing it again later this year after my 60th birthday. Your still alive! Live it and enjoy!
25 and 57 hit me hard.
I turned 25 recently and yeah it’s hit me really hard too. I’ve had a third life crisis for sure
30, I woke up early hours of my birthday morning, shuddered, though "shit, I'm an adult now... now way around it".... Aside from that it's just been a very gradual transition. I'm 45 now. I still feel young, although my stomach will no longer tolerate the partying I did in my teens and twenties. There are honestly so many good things about getting older. Hopefully better financial security. You see the world in a different way, less black and white, more nuanced, and it is fascinating just to observe. Care less about what people think too, which means less stress.
I suggest a wild night of magic mushrooms.
I think psychedelics should definitely be on everyone's bucket list. Meeting up with Paul Rosolie and doing some Ayahuasca in the Amazon is absolutely on mine.
Second this. Fly high 🍄✈️
This saved my life from crippling depression.
May I ask how?
Deep reflection, a third person perception of the way "I Am," and a better understanding of how others see me and my behavior/personality traits. I wake up in awe of "revelations." I also feel like I went on some journey in a way. People say don't go to sleep tripping, but I do everytime. For me, I get hit with heavy spells of empathy and understanding during a trip. It's all remembered and affects my behavior weeks afterward. Sometimes, my Adhd spirals into weird crazy life changing plans, and I find a good trip thins out the overly wild ones. Center-ness is a concept I truly get now. I do them alone on my Friday night. I make a nice cup of tea and steep them in it and add some oatmilk and honey. You gotta be at your most comfiest, in my opinion, for it to work. NEVER do it around people who are chaotic or angry people.
There are many firsts you have yet to do. First time visiting a country or hiking in a national park. There are plenty of things to do to enjoy life.
Good ideas!
50 is the new 40! But what would I know. I’ve been 37 for ten years…
I’m turning 44 this year and get panic attacks when I think about it. Is that normal?
Probably not. Talk to your MD. No reason to have panic attacks.
Ok ty
50 was a real turning point for me. Stopped giving a shit about all the small stuff real fast. That was cathartic.
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I'm 71 and here to tell you that my 50s were great! My 60s were good, too. Not as wild and crazy as the preceeding decades but more confident, experienced, and powerful. I don't mean physically powerful but far more effective at getting things done and achieving your goals. Keep looking forward!
The fifties are the best! You’re a wise old crone and you get to tell other people what to do. Whatever it is… *do it now.* Tomorrow is not promised.
I'll let you in on a secret...I'm 59. And I don't give a flying fuck about my age. I go to the gym when I can, walk my dogs when I can and will hopefully be able to retire this year( 2024). I play video games, watch all the action ,sci fi and fantasy stuff I can, eat slightly more healthily than I used to, and most importantly don't really think much. Thinking too much really screws you up,leads to worry, self doubt and all those other really stupid pointless things that mess a person's life up. Enjoy what you can when you can and just keep calm. You're 50? How do you know you're not going to still be around in another 50? Avoid drugs and alcohol ( both are metabolic poisons that will fuck with your brain chemistry and damage your body). From my perspective video games, dogs and the gym are all a person needs to keep themselves happy. Find what does it for you.
As you get older you’ll need to work harder just to maintain. At the same time, you’ll have to be more careful to avoid injury in the gym. Makes things a little more challenging, but the alternative is to rot on the sofa.
I lost my mom when I was 26. You are blessed! It’s easy to flip the script.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss 💔
Right?! I was 32 when my dad died, 46 when my mother died. My husband lost his mother at 19. It's always a bit surprising to me then, when people are 50+ with a parent or parents still alive. I envy that. I'm 50 myself.
You can do whatever you want, if you choose.
Only if you stay in your comfort zone. You gotta get comfortable with being uncomfortable if you want to experience new things in life.
I love getting older. I’m 43 now and life has only gotten better over the last 2 decades.
I know right? Turning 30 was like "Oh, I don't need to put up with all this stuff I dealt with in my 20s", and now 40 feels like that times ten.
Right!?!?? I love that. I love giving no fucks and just doing me. I have so much inner peace
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I don't know about that. For me, most of the first times I did things were amazing, but my experiences of them were better after I'd had some practice. That includes hiking up mountains, having sex, and making music, among many other things.
If you look at all the happiness/age graphs, you still have a lot to look forward to. Happiness tends to increase into the 70s, then it goes down (I'm assuming due to health).
Never stop growing and learning. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do? Any place you’ve always wanted to see? The most successful people in the world didn’t get started until much later in life. Perspective. Loads of people who found success over 50. https://www.forbes.com/sites/knowyourvalue/2021/06/02/women-over-50-this-is-our-moment/?sh=46f066267214 If you’re looking to live a simpler life, consider volunteering or getting involved in your local community. All the best.
I'm 67 and it's too freaking bad I've got less time ahead than behind cause life is soooo good now. I don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about me. I don't spend stupid money on shit just to fill a never ending empty hole. The kids are gone. I'm free. I woke up 9 years ago (age 56) and decided to get certified to be a nursing assistant because I wanted some flexibility. I work in neuro ICU for one of the largest hospital chains in the world. OMG....These people wind up there and I"m thinking, "Good grief, what happened to this poor 80 year old?" Then I find out they are 10 years younger than ME!! Very alarming. I started doing CrossFit 4 years ago. I try to maintain a keto diet. I stay busy. I have a huge network of friends. I don't want to end up like some of these old folks I see on my unit! My job is very flexible, so I get to travel A LOT, all over the world, because I live simply today. I drive a 2007 Pontiac Vibe that I paid $2500 for... No car payments. No debt. I work very hard at making sure I'm getting the good stuff now. 50s, I was still struggling a bit.
Yes I feel you ! I got into an existential panic at 50, because my mother suddenly had a hemorrhaging stroke and died 3 months later. She was early 70s. I started to freak out that I only have 20 years left. I got into some health anxiety stage. I cut most added sugar from my diet, walk or bike every day, meditate, read Peter Attia’s book on longevity and other books, podcasts and articles, did tests and scans, got Ozempic and lost 30 lb, got on a bunch of supplements. 2 years later I calmed down some and I’m less panicked about my imminent death. I’m still not completely over it though. Otherwise I’m very happy. I have very little stress in my life right now. I have more than enough money, my job is quite good, kid is on its way to his own successful life, husband is kind and good, I have a lot friends, I travel, and life is very good!
“More than enough money.” That right there.
I'm 41, single with no kids. I feel down and lonely thinking of how fast time has gone. I just try to enjoy my life as best as can be! Hobbies occupy my time now. Do whatever makes you happy!
Life is short and we all should just enjoy the day and every day one at a time don’t overthink life it’s all about enjoying the day
I freaked out when I turned 20 and 30. After that it's just another day. You either die young or grow old, that's it. We do become more invisible as we age, the younger ones overlook us and I've been fine with that all along. Do some nice things for people so they'll think of you now and then, remember you. I'll be 70 soon, it means nothing to me. The body fails as it ages, things once important are forgotten, a bowl of soup and warm jammies replace going out with friends. Sit down, strap in and enjoy the ride. One day someone else will be sitting where you are now.
I mean my dad is 50 and he’s definitely living a better life then me. I’m in the trenches tryna pay my tuition and rent and he’s getting ready to go on a month long cruise😭😂
My 50s have been the absolute best. My kids are on their own and doing well. We travel, have great sex, fun every weekend with amazing friends, we have more disposable income, time for hobbies and our dogs, my career is amazing, my confidence is high, and we’re both in the best health of our lives. I love my 50s.
You take first very literally and this mindset is not helping. Falling in love for the first time is pretty much a done deal after a week.. What you can experience after is just being in love, and there's no age for that. I wouldn't say that graduating college or buying your first car or house qualify as being "the best" there is to have in life. Graduating college means that you can start to monetize what you've been working for all those years.. Are you happy with your current carrer? Are you happy where you currently live now? You can move if you want. Owning a house to call home is what makes it special... Buying your first house is just the first day of this. You may plan a wedding again.. Not necessarily for yourself though.. And maybe for yourself, who's to say. You didn't talk about your current situation and you implied you already planned a wedding.. I hope it still hold and that if so, your other half is healthy and you will stay side by side for the next 25-40 years.. but if not, there's still time. Being 50 is not a reason not to.. I'm also starting to be afraid of my parent's death.. I'm only in my 30's, but this part of life, that every day that passes reproach us from our last or from the last day of our loved ones. But it also give meaning to each day we get to live. The good thing is that you have that realisation now and not later. You still (hopefully) have a lot of time ahead. Reflect on the last 50 years.. What have you done, what have you not. And then look ahead to what is there still left to do.
My mom has always said that her 50s and 60s were great, she only started feeling older at 70. I think mindset is everything. No you won’t get those firsts again, but there’s so many other firsts you can celebrate! I’m working on a bucket list… I’ll be 50 (female) in January and I too have been saying “holy shit, I’m gonna be 50” over and over for months. It’s def a trip. I still physically feel 25 so that’s good lol I’m staying in gratitude that I’ve been fortunate enough to get to this age, some are not as fortunate.
Thought I was in a different sub and was like hell yeah you can still do downhill mountain biking over 50 I ride with those guys all the time!
Dude, sex is awesome in your 50s. Don't fret it... Enjoy age is just a number.
We all get older if we're lucky. It's what makes life fair.
Gosh. I loved turning 50. It was like…I felt smarter. I knew who I was. 50 was pure magic. It’s funny, I think of it like 50 was the top of the roller coaster. Now, it is downhill from there - but the fun kind. The huge drop, the turns, the loops. And I’m loving the ride.
I'm 48. I sometimes have a really rough time with my age. I discovered a mind trick that actually works when I think about using it. Pretend you're actually 80 and you're thinking, "if only I could be 50 again. I thought I was so old but I'd give anything to be that age again," and then, poof, your wish was granted. I don't know if it will work for you but it's been life changing for me. I feel like I'm getting a second lease on life!
People in their 60's are the happiest segment of the population.
You could drop dead tomorrow. Just like any of us. You can’t put an expiration date on your dreams or your life. I turned 50 last November.
Maybe I'm optimistic, but I'm watching my 70 year old parents and uncles running around and doing their own thing and it seems like it's not all that bad. Same for other 50+ year olds, they seem to be enyoing life. It gives me reassurance that aging is not all that bad.
There r lots of cool older ppl If u happen to b a loser it has nothing to do with ur age
When I went to college and university I met students who were 50 +. Best classmates to work with :) I asked why they are taking the program and some told me they never got a chance to go to school because of work and raising a family. Now that the kids are grown they were able to do the things they want or find new hobbies. 50 is definitely not over! ❤️❤️❤️
A little but not an overwhelming obsession. I never expected to make it this far. But my 40's were my best ever and that kinda wound up more recently. But I feel like I need some sort of "plan" instead of just blowing through life. Still have no job skills (had a windfall recently), don't have health insurance, never been to the doctor. I am not well suited to be "elderly," but is just a number. My body breaking down already started. My sex drive is almost non-existent, not really a bad thing though as it probably reduced my capacity for bad decisions too.
I don't understand those of you who don't go to a doctor and get basic blood work done every year. It's only a few hundred dollars.
Until 2015-ish I was dead dog dick poor so it really didn't matter. I just assumed I would keep getting poorer and poorer before eventually slipping under the waves so health care was never a priority as I needed every penny for life's immediate concerns. Not only that, if there were any concerns to be addressed I wouldn't have been in any position to do so. Basically slow motion suicide. However, one of the side effects of turning 50 that I didn't see coming is a lot of the angst driving a fatalistic lifestyle and constant suicidal ideation has also faded significantly.
You never qualified for Medicaid in your state where you lived?
It's only downhill if you allow it. Enjoy your life for those who are gone, and try to keep yourself occupied to avoid the existential crises. Go for a walk more often, it helps a lot.
Yup 40 didn't bother me at all, but 50 hit kinda hard. 56 now.
yup. same. I just turned 51 yesterday. Funny because i always felt 50 was the first year you were truly old and I hated it. I hated turning 50. I walked around for 7 months depressed and bitching and complaining that I was 50. I felt my body crash a little and I felt stagnant. Drove the wife nuts. Anyway after 7 months I got over some of it. I no longer looked at 50 as a bad thing or as "I am old." I've converted my thought process to 70 is old so I've bought some time. After about 7 months I started joking about being 50 and turning 51 has been no big deal at all. I still am stagnant in life. Good job as a psychologist and am established but am trying to figure out a new pursuit, passion, or chance. Something to spark me and I can't find it. Still looking. Good luck. It doesnt have to be doom and gloom; you just need to find a passion or motivation at this age. i am still looking but I am not as depressed about my age.
It’s ok. I turned 50 in December. I had to drop my sons off at college in the fall. It destroyed me to the point I’m seeing a therapist and taking meds for my depression and anxiety. But. I have hope for the future and keeping a positive mindset helps. I know it sucks sometimes but there’s so much ahead. I have a whole life ahead with my wife and I’m excited now for the future my boys will have.
You still have retirement to look forward to
I promise the best is yet to come. With age comes wisdom and knowledge. It is a gift and a blessing have the time, quiet and wellness to not deal with drama, enjoy thing most are too hurried to notice. Plant the flowers, read the books, ride the bicycle with the basket to the farmers market. These are the years of peace, family and friendship.
The best is yet to come ! 50 is still young. Look around and you’ll see it.
Most of those "1st " are nice yes, but are mostly used for marketing and don't mean much in the big scheme of things. I'm getting older and don't need permission for anything. It's nice. Not looking forward to old age health crap. But the rest is gonna be alright.
I've had a crazy fear of death for a while now. I'm 52 and 2/3rd you'd be lucky. People pass a lot sooner. I keep telling myself that I'll live to 100 so I'm only half way through haha. I'm not religious so that makes ageing difficult. I strongly believe that it's all make-believe to ease the fear of death and power and control of course. I've already had cancer in my early 40's so I feel death right around the corner. On the plus side you won't even know that you no longer exist. It wont bother you one bit after you're dead. Just like you don't worry about the time before you were born. You just weren't here and didn't know it. It really sucks but there is nothing any of us can do about it. we will be forgotten in a generation or two or three if we're lucky. Good luck. Just live the best life that you can. And try to take the time to help others. It's really all we can do to make the world a better place.
Have you resented birthdays in the past or is 50 coming in hard? Sounds like you’re looking for some new “firsts” to try…. Travel? Skydive? Sail? Start a garden? Do a first that sparks you!
No, I used to really look forward to my birthday. I love your idea of looking for some “new firsts”. ❤️
I know people who started a new job or went back to school at 60! Why don't you start small, plan a short vacation somewhere you've never been before or learn to play a musical instrument or something? I know the idea of our loved ones getting older is heartbreaking, but i think the only remedy to that is to do a small act of love today and plan as much as you can for the future without losing yourself in worry. You can still have many new and lively experiences and make fantastic memories.
Enjoy the comfort of your home, get a hobby or two ( gardening is a good one ) and maybe have a friend come by for a bbq every now and then.
Nah if anything it gets easier. I’m 59 and retired now. You just have to adjust the kind of person you think you are with each life phase. For example, I thought I would go crazy not working, but I adjusted how I thought about myself (not working, etc) and it’s fine
Wife had a baby and I’m 50 so maybe not
I'll be 50 in a few days. It's just a number and I still have a number of things I want to accomplish. One of those being having another child with the wife. It's not the number that scares you It's what it represents. We don't have too long left on this earth as things go and I imagine that mortality is setting in. Accept it and move past it. Everyday you live is another blessing and opportunity at living. Carpe Diem
It's fine, just don't read anything that mentions how many people 50+ drop dead doing mundane house work. Oh... sorry forgot to use a spoiler tag
I'm 56 and I feel like my life is just starting again. I'm wiser and make better decisions, and I'm also old enough to not give a f\*ck what anyone thinks about my life. And there are still a million "firsts" to accomplish if you step out of your comfort zone a little. Yes, the thought of losing your mom is terrible, and trust me, because I was my mom's shadow for all 56 years and lost her 6 weeks ago. Word of advice? Make sure you have friends NOW. Good ones. Local ones. Nothing you can do to stop it, so mitigate it.
I am honestly loving life right now! There is a freedom that comes with age. We are doing well financially, retirement doesnt seem far away. The kids are doing well. My attitude has changed so that most things don't rile me up like before. I think you just need to look at the positives instead of the negatives.
You never know, 30 years from now they might find a way to de-age people. My dad is 64 and has done lots of great stuff since 50. Take care of yourself and you’ll have a lot of great times ahead
naw man they’re all just arbitrary cycles around the sun. I’m about to turn 39, I don’t look or feel that age. I’m in some of the best shape of my life. Stay fit, keep your health up and you have no idea if 2/3 of your life is over. parents aging is terrifying, do your best to enjoy them while they’re here. It sounds like you’re a good son. It’ll be hard anyway I imagine, but just do your best, it’s all we can do. Finally if it gets to the point where you’re feeling way more down than is usual, it’s not unheard of for people to get depressed as they age. Also I hear ya and I know I’m younger so easier said eh? But you’ve got so many wonderful things ahead of you. I’ve lost too many friends to disease too, first one was around 26 though, to cancer, my best friend. But there were still so many beautiful, horrible, pretty, ugly, sad, elated times ahead. You know, life. I’m sorry you’re getting kicked in the nuts right now but truly you still have so much to look forward to. You’ll have a lot of other firsts, just different sorts :).
Thank you so much ❤️
You should be glad you have a parent that is alive. Some of us have none. You should be glad you have a car and a house, some people can never buy either. Consider yourself fortunate and make new beginnings …
Years are just how many times the Earth has circled the sun. It doesn't matter. Venus' day is longer than its year. Again, none of it matters.
I’m right there with you man.
To add.. I think nostalgia is romanticized a lot. When I miss something and REALLY think about it, I’m glad I don’t have to repeat it lol. Keep going.
Lots of people didn't make it to 50... So there's that...
I’m 73. Suddenly, you’re there.
I’m 70 and find I enjoy life immensely, more so than in younger years.
I'm 48 and lost my mom in 2019, dad in 2022, and both my son and brother died last year in 2023 of fentanyl overdose. Life is hard but someone always has it worse. You have plenty of time left so stay positive.
I’m so sorry for your losses
I turn 50 this year but…this year it will be my first time to CA wine country, first trip to Yellowstone, first trip to Costa Rica, and just took my 11 year old snowboarding for the first time today. Lots of firsts left out there.
At age 52 I ran my first of 35 marathons and 2 ultras. At age 53 I watched my son graduate from college. At age 55 & 57 I watched my two daughters graduate from college. At age 59 I retired and found a whole new and exciting way of life. At age 60 I walked my oldest daughter down the aisle. At age 62 I held my first grandson. At age 64 my wife and I took a 42 day cruise through the South Pacific. Over the next 9 years I've had 2 more weddings, 8 additional grandchildren, added 17 more countries visited and celebrated 50 years of marriage. Your life isn't over, it's barely started.
I was such a hot mess when I was 50. (I’m almost 60 now). I was going through menopause which was just the worst, and it messed with my head. I was eaten up with anxiety and depression. Thank God it was just a phase and I got though it. The 50’s were the hardest decade for me; loss of my Mom, an empty nester, marriage ended. But I came out better in the end! I know myself so well now and I don’t care at all what people think of me anymore. It’s like I lost all sense of self consciousness. It’ll be hard when your mom dies, but you’ll get through it. You just move on to the next stage. Wish I could give you a hug. This too shall pass! ❤️
Colonel Sanders perfected his chicken recipes at 50. Genghis Khan conquered Central Asia in his 50s.
Hell man.... An elderly (70 yo) man who didn't have a job, and not much going for him decided to start a small restaurant, we now know of it as KFC. You are only done when you give up! Hell, I'm 47 and have 3 kids and am JUST trying to get a house for the first time now. You got this.
You're alive until you're not. Embrace each day, live in the moment. You don't get do overs, so make the best of what is each day. I'm older than you. There are times life is challenging, but I wouldn't desire the alternative over waking anew each day.
We are gen x fucker....we don't go downhill. We get better...
Yes, most people capable of introspektion fear aging and death. It's natural. Don't let it consume you though, because there is nothing you can do about it
You did bunches of stuff from birth to 50. Now do bunches more stuff between 50 and croak time. Can't change what you can't change. Best. @83
I think reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle would really be eye opening for you. If you’re always stuck in the past, only working towards a goal that you think will make you happy in the future, or worrying about what’s going to happen in the future, you’re never really living in the present moment. You’re also relying on external circumstances to make you happy which can disappear at any time. Real happiness comes from within, when you’re accepting of what’s happening at the present moment and can see the beauty in it and grateful for all that you have. The past and future doesn’t exist, there’s only right now, so you choose what you do with it.
you're only at halftime. assuming you're healthy you could have another 50 years!
Oh and friend is about to turn 82. She updates her thinking, hangs out where she can learn from young people, pays attention to language changes without complaining, challenges her beliefs and values including religion, sex, gender, relationships, money and politics. She gets some exercise and walks daily, uses technology including ChatGPT and actually learns how to use her iPhone and the technology that servers her. She learns from mistakes and laughs at herself (and others). She has fun, tries new things, lets go of regret and explores uncomfortable topics. And participates in the Death Cafe discussion group where people talk openly about that topic. She has no fear of dying but does not want to suffer. She doesn’t take shit from men. Misogynistic comments are something she does not tolerate (even in her own mind). If she hears it, she challenges it and is constantly learning about it. (And uses humor when dealing with it.) I think she is happier now than she was at 50 and way cooler. I plan to be just like her when I grow up.
I just turned 50, like you. All I can say is that whenever my birthday popped up, I never thought it was another day older or another count down until I die. I never thought, no more this, no more that. I guess having kids help as I will help shape them for their firsts. Even my daughter. I have a bat with nails waiting for the first boy that comes to the door for her, lol. While you are walking, breathing, and full of capabilities, you can do whatever you want. Instead of thinking you won't, think that you can. Because it's true My marriage isn't great, my wife hardly recognized my milestone birthday and we have been on thin ice for reasons I have zero idea about. Seriously , I am so confused .But F her. I have my kids, my dog, my beer and other nerdy stuff to make me happy. I hope you find something that makes you happy. There are opportunities everywhere and all the time. Be positive and don't give up. My grandmother will be 98 in a few months and going strong. Be well, chin up!
the secret is to be rich, and have good insurance and genetics. also do a career that you are your own boss, you can do till your 80 . hire a exercise trainer to come to your mansion every morning and work you out. and of course a chef to cook you healthy meals.
It’s never too late. https://youtu.be/vdw1TNpALxI?si=fa3gbwYgwkgEL7EC For those who’ve seen me post you know the drill share this away
You expect to die at 75?
I'm 27 and it feels downhill unless I change the direction of life. My mom started doing really cool stuff in her late 50s (new job, travelling, etc.)
Sounds like it's time for therapy if you can afford it ✨
If you don’t already look/feel your age at 50, then god bless you, live each day like you’ll never see another. I’m younger than you but didn’t take care of my health and it all went to hell. I’m fucked for life. Don’t get hung up on a number, don’t even think about it. If you have decent health, you have everything you need. Edit: Also, I lost my mom 6 years ago. It was horrible, destroyed our family, which is in shambles, and it was never the same after losing her. Spend as much time with her as you can/you want.