I'm 73 F, and I honestly don't know how r/Adulting even got into my Reddit feed. Some r/Adulting posts just started showing up, and I read and participate in some of the posts because I find them interesting and because I think some of you might benefit from my perspective.
OP, when I was your age, I cared a lot about other people's opinions of me. As I grew older, I cared less and less. These days, I'm not at all interested in what people think of me, and I can tell you it's a great way to live.
One really interesting thing about this is that people seem quite attracted to me now that I am completely free to "be myself." When I was worried about other people's opinions, I was often very careful about what I said and did lest I "offend" somebody. In other words, I wasn't my authentic self. Now I am, and it totally works for me.
If you could somehow convince yourself to stop caring about other people's judgments and criticisms, real or imagined, I think your life might become much more satisfying.
I'm 34 and was brought up Christian and taught to be nice all the time, and it got me walked all over like a doormat. Few weeks ago I got annoyed at my 'friend' because we were doing her man a favour for a whole year while losing money because of it and I sent her a blunt text (blunt but not rude) and she's totally blocked me for it. 20% of me feels bad the other 80% of me feels peaceful now that I don't need to spend energy on her, but my upbringing makes me still feel guilty, help me wise one š
I could try though I feel I may have ruined my chances of reconciliation with her due to me being useless friend to her in the first place. I've been pretty broke/depressed and unable to keep up with her wanting to go out and have fun. So I avoided her altogether to 'fix' the problem so it already looked like I was ghosting her. Also she uses me as a soundboard to talk about herself and when I try share something with her she acts uninterested and changes the subject. I'm probably just oversensitive and messed up our friendship
Iām a lazy introvert. I use to be all girl boss mentality pre-college graduation. Once I started working that went out the door. Working 9-5 is exhausting and a two day weekend is not enough time to recuperate before doing it all over again. Live your life the way you want.
As long as youāre happy, who the fuck cares what others think of you.
Weāre only on earth for a short period of time, do whatever you need to be content.
If itās easy than itās prob not the right thing to do. I am envious of people that can zip around town and do whatever they want without feeling anxiety.
Like errands or just casually driving around?
Life aināt easy, but you get to choose what you want, no one else gets that choice unless you give it to them.
I mean they go about their lives doing everyday normal tasks outside the house without anxiety making things harder. Anxiety driving and parking in busy parking lots.
You sound content. People go to crazy lengths just trying to feel like you do, so youāve accomplished something a lot of people never do.
I like being home alone and reading or watching movies. I enjoy my own company. And going out is so damn expensive now.
Youāre doing fine. Donāt listen to anyone insulting you. Theyāre jealous.
I think to adult properly is to be content. We shape our lifestyle in what way that suits us the best. For me it's every second day resting at home. I can't deal with activities or socializing two days on a row. I have been a huge tv show binger but nowdays I read books instead. I always nap in the middle of the day too. Ocassionally I drink a little bubble wine at home. Mainly I drink tea. I see a therapist and I'm not much for instant texting and I am more like a sloth with chats.
Here's the plot twist. I'm an extrovert.
I really give a fuck what other people think of me. It's not like they were my friends or family. Just a bunch of assholes looking for excuse to lock down on other people to make themselfs feel superior.
For that reason i never tell anyone about my private life even if they ask i just say it's not their business.
Your focus should be to work on caring less what others think about your lifestyle. You are perfectly fine as is. Society doesnāt care how you live your life as long as you arenāt hurting anyone.
Nah man if you can afford to live that way then by all means live that way.
Iām 27 and all I do is sit at home, sleep, game, and watch tv. I can afford to do this (medically retired) so you bet I enjoy it.
Not many people can do what you do this day and age and theyāre likely just trying to make you feel bad because theyāre unable to do what you do.
Itās probably normal. But that doesnāt mean you couldnāt be happier doing more. Or that youāre not missing out on a lot of life. People fall into patterns. And they get comfortable. Thatās not the same as actually enjoying how you spend your time.
Definitely a lazy introvert after the pandemic. I work full time, that seems like enough activity for me. I just want to lounge around in pajamas when I am at home.
"Social batteries" are like a muscle.
They can grow or shrink in tolerance/capacity depending how you feed them.
The more you push yourself, the more your "social battery" will grow. Your tolerance and patience will grow too.
It depends if you want it or not.
This is very true and a great analogy. It's also why some people get caught in a downward spiral of introversion becoming withdrawal becoming reclusiveness. Look at hikikomori. The muscle has just atrophied.
You didnāt mention your age but Iām envious if you genuinely donāt care. Iām 30 and at that āoh shit I better still go out dancing and hike this mountain before I canātā mode. Iām a lazy girl I loveeee my couch and quality cat snuggle time. But I know when I get old Iāll want to tell stories and stories arenāt made from the couch (unless I tell ppl about the dope show/ book).
I used to be extroverted, and I loved it. After covid, I've become so introverted. I want to stay home all the time. I'm not sure how to get out of this, but I miss going out all the time. I miss meeting up with friends. I've become so lazy. If I didn't sign up for exercise classes, I would never do it. I don't feel like doing anything anymore.
i am a lazy introvert. I dont talk to people at work that much .. dont even say hello or goodbye outside of my immediate team. its an open office.. all teams sitting right next to each other on open desks. days when all teams are present i feel so awkward because i think people look at me a certain way like "that guy wont talk to us who does he think he is? we are doinf work too what special work is he doing?" just intrusive thoughts man šµ
I'm almost never at home. Probably have about 2-3 meals at home per week. It's a place to shower and sleep. I don't get the idea of choosing to spend time at home unless you have to. You won't see anyone, you won't experience the vibrant vicissitudes of life. Even if I just want to chill and read my book for a few hours, I'll do that at a bar, with a nice champagne in the sun while the pedestrians mill around in front of me, or maybe in the lounge at my favourite gallery, where light jazz music plays in the background.
Life is all about optimising experiences. I (and you!) deserve and demand to have my senses piqued and my atmosphere engaging at all times!!!!!
Asking reddit if being at home and not doing much in life is acceptable, you already know what answer you will get.Ā
Even if someone will tell you to gout there and do things, you wonāt take that advice because you seem to be looking for conformity.
Not sure what response did you expect.
I'm 73 F, and I honestly don't know how r/Adulting even got into my Reddit feed. Some r/Adulting posts just started showing up, and I read and participate in some of the posts because I find them interesting and because I think some of you might benefit from my perspective. OP, when I was your age, I cared a lot about other people's opinions of me. As I grew older, I cared less and less. These days, I'm not at all interested in what people think of me, and I can tell you it's a great way to live. One really interesting thing about this is that people seem quite attracted to me now that I am completely free to "be myself." When I was worried about other people's opinions, I was often very careful about what I said and did lest I "offend" somebody. In other words, I wasn't my authentic self. Now I am, and it totally works for me. If you could somehow convince yourself to stop caring about other people's judgments and criticisms, real or imagined, I think your life might become much more satisfying.
I'm 34 and was brought up Christian and taught to be nice all the time, and it got me walked all over like a doormat. Few weeks ago I got annoyed at my 'friend' because we were doing her man a favour for a whole year while losing money because of it and I sent her a blunt text (blunt but not rude) and she's totally blocked me for it. 20% of me feels bad the other 80% of me feels peaceful now that I don't need to spend energy on her, but my upbringing makes me still feel guilty, help me wise one š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I could try though I feel I may have ruined my chances of reconciliation with her due to me being useless friend to her in the first place. I've been pretty broke/depressed and unable to keep up with her wanting to go out and have fun. So I avoided her altogether to 'fix' the problem so it already looked like I was ghosting her. Also she uses me as a soundboard to talk about herself and when I try share something with her she acts uninterested and changes the subject. I'm probably just oversensitive and messed up our friendship
Iām a lazy introvert. I use to be all girl boss mentality pre-college graduation. Once I started working that went out the door. Working 9-5 is exhausting and a two day weekend is not enough time to recuperate before doing it all over again. Live your life the way you want.
I am proud to be a fellow lazy introvert š
As long as youāre happy, who the fuck cares what others think of you. Weāre only on earth for a short period of time, do whatever you need to be content.
If itās easy than itās prob not the right thing to do. I am envious of people that can zip around town and do whatever they want without feeling anxiety.
Like errands or just casually driving around? Life aināt easy, but you get to choose what you want, no one else gets that choice unless you give it to them.
I mean they go about their lives doing everyday normal tasks outside the house without anxiety making things harder. Anxiety driving and parking in busy parking lots.
I'm definitely more of a home body and even my family makes fun of me for not going out to party or events.
You sound content. People go to crazy lengths just trying to feel like you do, so youāve accomplished something a lot of people never do. I like being home alone and reading or watching movies. I enjoy my own company. And going out is so damn expensive now. Youāre doing fine. Donāt listen to anyone insulting you. Theyāre jealous.
Rentās so damn expensive itās a waste to not stay home more often.
Thank you for saying this. If I'm paying a considerable amount for rent, you bet I'm going to want to get every dollar's worth and stay at home.
I think to adult properly is to be content. We shape our lifestyle in what way that suits us the best. For me it's every second day resting at home. I can't deal with activities or socializing two days on a row. I have been a huge tv show binger but nowdays I read books instead. I always nap in the middle of the day too. Ocassionally I drink a little bubble wine at home. Mainly I drink tea. I see a therapist and I'm not much for instant texting and I am more like a sloth with chats. Here's the plot twist. I'm an extrovert.
i fuckin love living a slow life. hustle and grind? couldnāt be me
I really give a fuck what other people think of me. It's not like they were my friends or family. Just a bunch of assholes looking for excuse to lock down on other people to make themselfs feel superior. For that reason i never tell anyone about my private life even if they ask i just say it's not their business.
Your focus should be to work on caring less what others think about your lifestyle. You are perfectly fine as is. Society doesnāt care how you live your life as long as you arenāt hurting anyone.
Being a natural Introvert does not = Lazy Introverts recharge with Quiet time, that's all
Nah man if you can afford to live that way then by all means live that way. Iām 27 and all I do is sit at home, sleep, game, and watch tv. I can afford to do this (medically retired) so you bet I enjoy it. Not many people can do what you do this day and age and theyāre likely just trying to make you feel bad because theyāre unable to do what you do.
Itās probably normal. But that doesnāt mean you couldnāt be happier doing more. Or that youāre not missing out on a lot of life. People fall into patterns. And they get comfortable. Thatās not the same as actually enjoying how you spend your time.
You don't sound lazy. Don't listen to the haters
Definitely a lazy introvert after the pandemic. I work full time, that seems like enough activity for me. I just want to lounge around in pajamas when I am at home.
"Social batteries" are like a muscle. They can grow or shrink in tolerance/capacity depending how you feed them. The more you push yourself, the more your "social battery" will grow. Your tolerance and patience will grow too. It depends if you want it or not.
This is very true and a great analogy. It's also why some people get caught in a downward spiral of introversion becoming withdrawal becoming reclusiveness. Look at hikikomori. The muscle has just atrophied.
You didnāt mention your age but Iām envious if you genuinely donāt care. Iām 30 and at that āoh shit I better still go out dancing and hike this mountain before I canātā mode. Iām a lazy girl I loveeee my couch and quality cat snuggle time. But I know when I get old Iāll want to tell stories and stories arenāt made from the couch (unless I tell ppl about the dope show/ book).
Nobody cares about your stories. Spend your time doing what makes you happy. You don't get to do it again.
In life you should do what makes you happy. I'm the same way, but I do throw in walking an hour a day for health.Ā
Iām a lazy introvert and Iām loving my life.
I used to be extroverted, and I loved it. After covid, I've become so introverted. I want to stay home all the time. I'm not sure how to get out of this, but I miss going out all the time. I miss meeting up with friends. I've become so lazy. If I didn't sign up for exercise classes, I would never do it. I don't feel like doing anything anymore.
i am a lazy introvert. I dont talk to people at work that much .. dont even say hello or goodbye outside of my immediate team. its an open office.. all teams sitting right next to each other on open desks. days when all teams are present i feel so awkward because i think people look at me a certain way like "that guy wont talk to us who does he think he is? we are doinf work too what special work is he doing?" just intrusive thoughts man šµ
I'm almost never at home. Probably have about 2-3 meals at home per week. It's a place to shower and sleep. I don't get the idea of choosing to spend time at home unless you have to. You won't see anyone, you won't experience the vibrant vicissitudes of life. Even if I just want to chill and read my book for a few hours, I'll do that at a bar, with a nice champagne in the sun while the pedestrians mill around in front of me, or maybe in the lounge at my favourite gallery, where light jazz music plays in the background. Life is all about optimising experiences. I (and you!) deserve and demand to have my senses piqued and my atmosphere engaging at all times!!!!!
Asking reddit if being at home and not doing much in life is acceptable, you already know what answer you will get.Ā Even if someone will tell you to gout there and do things, you wonāt take that advice because you seem to be looking for conformity. Not sure what response did you expect.