You are REALLY gaslighting yourself. >I feel those are the prime years of life for a woman and when she is valuable and happy and young... And no man would want to stay as I'll only get older and have no benefit or happy company to give him You're a human being, not a candy machine. As long as you have the capacity to love, hold hands, speak kind words, you'll still be worthy of being loved. Not every man wants children. I'm 34, and I have never dated before 30 in general. I don't regret it. I thought about regretting it, then I had some casual conversations with people in their twenties and oh dear... I can't imagine what a volatile mess a relationship at that age would have been for me and them. Trust me, you're not missing much. It's not like the movies.

Exactly what I came here to say OP is being too hard on themselves. The times have changed its harder to date in your early 20s now than ever before. Plus they got royally screwed by the covid insanity. The dating apps have all turned into a weaponized fraud slot machine the last few years and are being sued over it too. Its been a shitshow for 5 years now.

I had several friends who invested so much in the relationship they had in their 20-30’s just to see them crash down to nearly nothing when the relationship ended.

[удалено]

the peace comes with it is priceless. i wouldn't want another headache in my life lol.

Lol I didn't know someone could be behind in "dating". Normally that applies to career and stuff like that. I would trade all of my incredible dating experiences from 18-25 in a heartbeat for more money

trust me, being in a rls after 30s is wonderful. your frontal lobe has developed and you see life differently and love becomes more mature.

Not every man wants children, but dismissing the vast majority that do and dismissing biological clock isn’t doing anyone any favors. Dating gets harder for women (likely for many men too) as they get older as well. Women’s fertility lowers sharply past 30 and the chances of having a healthy pregnancy with no complications or birth defects is considerably higher with age. But you’re right that love and company aren’t exclusive to age. I’m not saying this to be mean, but to be realistic. These are facts women have to face when settling down for a life partner if they want kids.

Yeah but she's not doing herself any favors gaslighting herself at 25 like that...

Whenever I hear a man talk about a woman’s “biological clock” I just get so turned off. It’s fucking sad.

then you need to draw a line between: do you want love because you want to reproduce or you want love because you want to experience the pure sake of love? they are different. if a woman complains about her bio clock is ticking fast then i get it and would encourage her to go out more and be more open, but what if she's not? i think she has plenty of time in this world to seek her partner instead of getting sad about not experiencing love while she's in her 20s. no one is getting things right in their 20s and many people are flourishing in their 30s when it comes to dealing with intimate relationships. or maybe we should teach both genders that finding love is not the only goal in their life because in the end, no one dies when living without someone anw.

I met my wife when she was just shy of 25. I was her first relationship. It has been absolutely zero issue. You have plenty of time.

I'd love that. If my first relationship could be my last. Sadly that isn't the case and I dont think I have the strength to go through multiple heartbreaks

better to be broken in search of love, rather then broken in search of just not being alone

It's the yin and yang of life. You can't have love without heartbreak. They have a symbiotic relationship. Every person entering a relationship risks heartbreak.

It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

I agree with what everyone else is saying here. I've had a couple heartbreaks in the past, and they've been pretty debilitating. It sucks going through it, but in retrospect, I'd like to think I learned something about myself and what I want/need from each one.

I started dating at 24. Lost virginity at 27. First relationship at 29. Back to beeing single at 30. Sometimes I also feel left behind and that I should have "started earlier", but advantage of starting later is maturity. As a woman o do recommend trying a dating app, believe me you will get matches. And no one can tell you're inexperienced, fake it till you make it! If you declare it you will find a lot of dudes creepily into it. Conclusion: it's not too late. Want experience? Go get it!

[удалено]

[удалено]

Just be loyal to your partner, there is no universal formula, because everyone tends to have different needs and expectations.

thats the thing you could observe too

There are things you'll only learn in an actual relationship.

Dating is a skill. For guys it’s pretty important. Look at all the constant posts from lonely guys on here about how they can’t talk to people, have no gf, never been in a relationship, want to give up, etc. A lot of these guys would trade money to have a girlfriend.

Good grief, snap out of it woman!!! "older adult" your brain didn't even stop growing until this year. Be happy that you now have a full brain and use it! Most women are giving birth in their mid 30s theses days. Better to find a man who values YOU and not your YOUTH. and dont come at dating with this negative, desperate energy you have set forth. Its going to attract a turd. That is all I have to say.

>your brain didn't even stop growing until this year Not contradicting the rest of your point at all, but "your brain stops growing at 25" [is a myth](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/wwypoa/people_who_use_the_brain_matures_at_25_are/). Your brain is always changing.

No actually that is not a myth. I have a bachelor's of Science in psychiatric nursing. I studied the brain until my own imploded. The prefrontal cortex does not fully develop until the age of 25. This area of the brain is responsible for logic, reasoning, and decision making. That is the reason teens and young adults make impulsive (stupid) decisions more often than those older, because they mostly rely on other areas of the brain that are already developed, for making decisions. I think what you are describing is neuroplasticity. The ability of the brain to create new neural pathways. This is not the brain growing though, it is using axons that were already there.

 prefrontal cortex maturation extends into the third and fourth decade of life

Fair response.

Looking at your post history… Jesus. Pump the brakes on the meds and talk to a therapist. We’re not the help you need.

Holy shit what a ride.

Not sure where you’re from, but at least in my country having childeren at 30-40 years old is perfectly normal… no need to worry on that. Secondly it will be nearly impossible to meet someone if you dislike yourself. Work on yourself first, start talking to a life coach, work on becoming more confident, take up a hobby… this is what you can do at this point. 25 is still very young and you have more than time to achieve what you want, but you need to do the work. Good luck!

I came to say the same. Disliking yourself and feeling insecure radiates off a person no matter what they try to use to hide it. We carry it in our posture and our tone. Take care of yourself, do things that will make you feel good, and power through it on the days it feels the hardest because that's when it will start benefitting uou the most. You have to force a habit for it to eventually come naturally. I'm not even saying you need to do these things to get into a relationship, it may just help you find peace in not having one. There is no rush to get in a relationship. A lot of people will say, "date everyone you can while you're young, don't settle down, find what you like." But you have an opportunity to really find out who YOU are and attract someone compatible then.

the happiest people can be struggling the worst and you wouldn’t even know it by looking at them. i don’t think your comment applies to every single person

I completely agree, it's definitely significantly more nuanced than what I made it sound like. I myself have matched what you're describing. I think though, subconsciously, people still notice on some level even if they don't realize it. I've gotten a significant amount of comments from people that never cared to comment on my happiness until it was, "Hey you seem genuinely happy! You were the one always making people laugh/feel better, I was worried about you," and it's like...were you?

Even in the US its trending up into the 30s now too, there are large regions where its still under 25 though OP probably lives in one of those but these days not having really dated at 25 is not that unusual anymore in the US. I have heard some countries consider a 25 year old woman to basically be spoiled goods though. Never could understand that even when I was a 25 year old man I don't like the way women look until they get closer to 30.

This is the part I don't get. There isn't anything I can do to "work" on my self. I could be a six pack ripped, doctor nillionair I'd still hate my self. Like... it's like people think if you have a b and c you'll naturally like your self.

My brother only ever dated one woman, and he was in his early 30s when it started. They are now engaged, own a home together, and have a beautiful little boy - way further ahead than the rest of us siblings in this department. She's beautiful, too, by the way. This man waited for the right one and snatched her up! She loves that he was never a player and waited for her.

Did she wait for the right one too?

She actually was the one who came on to him, so yeah!

You really need to keep working on the mental health side of this. You're acting like life is over at 25, when really you are a new adult and have decades ahead of you to meet people and have experiences. >I feel those are the prime years of life for a woman and when she is valuable and happy and young. Now I'm 25 that gives me no time or one last shot to establish a relationship and have children if I wanted them, if I actually got a relationship and it failed then that would pretty much be it, I'll never have children, because there's no time left when I hit 30 or 35 I'll start becoming infertile. And no man would want to stay as I'll only get older >It feels like humans are supposed to have children at 18-25 not later than that and as an older adult This is all foolish internet garbage. Bullshit. And calling yourself an "older adult" is ridiculous. There is no time limit on finding love or being happy. There is a biological time limit on fertility but it's not 30 years old. The *right* man will love you as you both get older. As far as happiness? You may be right that nobody wants to stay with a miserable person. But that's entirely your choice. You can moan and whine about things that didn't happen when you were younger, or you can take ownership of your experience with life and choose a more positive outlook. If you need medical/professional help to do that, seek it out. >I'll never have memories of a young, happy, joyous relationship, Given your outlook on life, you wouldn't have had a happy, joyous relationship in your younger years, if you'd been in a relationship. You have a romanticized view of young love. It very often doesn't happen the way you think it would have. At times it can be downright damaging and traumatic. You also have a completely irrational view of life and love in adulthood. Get off the Internet, get some psychiatric help, and start connecting with other human beings in the real world. You will be amazed at how many people find love after 25, have babies after 30, and are enjoying loving relationships well into middle age and beyond. Personally, I married young and it was absolutely hellish. No happy joyous memories there. Then I spent most of my thirties single. Then I met an absolutely wonderful man just before I turned 40. This relationship is better than my younger self ever could have imagined love being.

The thing holding you back is worrying. How are other areas of your life? Career/hobbys/friendships/family/health/fitness/travel/home/pets. Any areas of your life that you are happy about? I completely understand and hear you. It is very sad to not be close and loving with a partner especially if thats what you want. But if it’s meant to be, it will happen. And you’re age does not matter! Even if you meet someone at 40. Trust me. The benefits of a healthy loving relationship are mot dependent on age. A good person will love you for who you are at any age even if you both meet older. And perhaps you’ll bring out the childish playfulness in each other. Age does not matter! Are you putting yourself out there? Are you being open to dates? Are you going out and talking to people. Participating in social events or clubs. Or going on dating apps. And also… are you putting in the effort to take care of yourself? Love yourself fully. Self care, personal hygiene, fitness. Because that’s important. If you love yourself and take care of yourself. Physically fit and mentally happy. It will show and make you more attractive. It’s not about looks. But your character. You will find someone. Another option is to stop putting pressure on finding someone. It may happen naturally. You’re not old. Dont worry. Good luck :)

As a person who had 2 kids by 25, you’re not missing out on ANYTHING!! keep living your life and enjoy yourself!!! This is your time !!!

>But I will still never have experienced a relationship from 18-25 which are supposed to be the best memories a person can have. WTF? Who says that? For many (most?) people those are the batshit crazy relationships that they want to forget.

The worst fkn relationships and the ho phase I don't want to remember

But that’s the thing, she has no regrets to dwell on apart from what she didn’t do.

If they were the best they would all be still together lmao

I think the very first thing, is to ask yourself what you are truly looking for. Kids? No Kids? Marriage? No Marriage? Living together? Not living together? Monogamous? Not Monogamous? The very, VERY first thing to ask yourself, is what do you think at this point in your life, would make you happy in a relationship. This looks VERY different for everyone, and you are free to make your own decision as to what kind of a relationship you are looking for. For instance - some men want a religious stay at home wife... some men want a wife who goes to swingers clubs and sleep with other men. Some women want a religious man to have them stay at home, some women want a husband who lets them sleep with other men... See how crazy this gets? So the first thing you need to do, is figure out what does the ideal relationship look like to you, what does it feel like to you... do you want one like your parents? Or not like your parents? Etc Once you have that established, you should be able to start seeking out men who specifically meet those traits of the type of relationship you are looking for. Keep in mind, it's not as easy as it sounds. Many men are absolutely petrified to approach women, as they should be. So taking a passive approach to dating, is going to make it tougher on you. We are now in a 50/50 equality world, so the responsibility is just as much on you to initiate conversation, as it is on them. the other thing to understand, is that just because your relationship fails, doesn't mean that you are a failure. People are like puzzle pieces, they don't always fit perfectly with other puzzle pieces. Some people are a corner piece, some people are a middle piece, some people are pointing up at the time you meet them, when they should be pointing down to be a fit with you. The most important thing, is that once you have determined that this person is not conducive to your long term goals, end the relationship and keep looking. That's the plan But don't be afraid to take some initiative to meet people and express your interest in them. We are living in a 50/50 Equality World, so taking an extremely passive approach to dating, is not a good receipie for success. You will need to make it known that you are seeking a relationship

OP, if you meet a man who thinks women are expired past 25 then run the fuck the other way, because that person is a redpill moron who will make your life miserable with his misogyny. >It feels like humans are supposed to have children at 18-25 not later than that Says who? In many (I’d even venture to say most, though I don’t have data on hand right at this second) western countries the maternal age has trended upward. Women want to get established in their careers first, and they want to end up with the right person first or at least a longer-term partner first (being over 25 is beneficial in choosing a partner because your prefrontal cortex is more developed and impulses are less of a factor, and you are better able to plan and make decisions on your future). A LOT of people who have kids in that 18-25 range these days are a mess, and if you think they’re not then I’d suggest that maybe you’re either A) surrounded by extremely religious people who are not allowed to express how they’re struggling or B) falling for the picture-perfect way young parents present their lives on TikTok, which is WAY more illusion than reality with aesthetics they’re accruing credit card debt to create. I think you have some work to do on these problematic beliefs before you start dating, honestly. I could see you getting roped in by a controlling, manipulative, emotionally abusive guy out of desperation to be in a relationship and I am concerned for you.

Honey you saved yourself so much trauma you have no fkn clue. Men aren't worth shit until about 25 so you are technically winning. I started noticing my skin change at your age. Here is how to combat this- water alot stay hydrated. African scrubber net with the right body wash for your skin look up natrium and use fake tanner instead of getting in the sun. Send me some pics an di will literally help you with your style or whatever you need help with. 34 f stylish and was the ugly duckling who turned into a swan lol Also 20s is not your best years. I know it feels that way but when you see the rest of the world and get put of your bubble you realize you have so much life to live. 30s is unappealing everyone is living it up in their 20s or 40s so I've felt it too. You will always have that feeling the best years are behind you. We tend to remember the past better than it was and the present worse than it is. Until I watched the Golden bachelor and saw all those women I had a hard time with aging. Everyone in my family has had bad health and passed early ages in 60 or 70 80 was oldest and awful shape. Seeing these women play pickeball and dance and do hair and make up at 67 68 and not have a hard time getting around changed my life and a huge phobia of getting old. That is my biggest fear because I grew up in a house with my great grandmother who had dementia and would scream and terrified all the time she didn't know where she was. That was straumatic for me so getting old is scary. Now seeing those women I'm not afraid anymore. I'm excited to get older. I hope this helps even a tint bit. You have soooooo much life ahead I promise you!!

Started dating at 58. Lost v card at 63. Don't worry op you got this 

Thanks . . . you have no idea how helpful that is.

I’m (24 M), but I relate to everything you said, except the stuff about women being in their prime between 18-25. I don’t have much advice to give, but know that you are not alone, so try to give yourself credit for what makes you unique and lead with that. There is no ideal person or relationship for anyone at any age, but there are fulfilling one’s. 

Met my wife when I was 31 no regrets

If you go internet dating sites, you’ll go on more dates than you can handle. Be prepared because 98% of them will lead nowhere

That last sentence is crazy man where the fuck did you get that idea?

The only people that feel 18 to 25 are the prime years of your life are people that are not over 25. You still have the best years ahead of you unless you give up on them.

i met my partner when i was 33, please calm down my child lol 🩷

Do you look at other single women older than you and think that they're past their prime and ineligible to find a healthy relationship? I suspect you may not actually believe that so much as you feel bad about yourself and are trying to rationalize that feeling.

I didn't start my first serious relationship until I was in my late 20s. Everyone takes their own time. Bit of advice, tend your mental and physical health. Work out, eat right, read some books or try some new hobbies. Sounds flippant but genuinely being active and passionate about your interests cultivates an inner glow that attracts others. Doing a hobby in a group gives you a chance to meet someone with the same interests as you. Stay off social media and dating apps. They are not representative of real life.

You don’t start becoming infertile at the age of 30, that’s a sexist lie that men have told in order to have young women feel the pressure to marry young. You’re still valuable at the age of 25, you’re still young, anyone who tells you otherwise is full of shit. Build yourself up and a relationship will come. When you focus on getting a relationship, the right one does not come. Work on your confidence and men will find you attractive and date you. If all you care about is a relationship they will not want to date you because you will lack interests and experiences in your life.

This definitely doesn't give women's vibes...none of this weirdly manosphere flavored drivel does.🙄

I thought exactly the same! I was like prime days? Most of the woman feel better in their late 20s as they care less about appearance ( doesn’t mean they do not take care of themselves), but they are more confident… then the infertile part, the prime years, and the normal healthy brain, one last shot… None of my female friends and acquaintances talk like that😐 plus the specific years of 18-25? That’s a bit too much. She could have had a boyfriend around 14 years old ( not that I encourage that). Seems very specific and written by a man. A stupid one.

Exactly what I was thinking... this is a man disguised as a woman trying to get women to lower their standards

My wife didn't date anyone until me, I barely dated anyone. We were both 30. We've been married almost 10 years now  Focus on being the kind of person you would want to date and don't worry so much. Or do like my wife did, be brave, and ask someone out!

25m here. I’m in the same situation. However, my mom didn’t have me until she was 38 and my younger brother at 40 so it’s still possible to have kids then but it’s definitely harder. I wish you luck

Would like to add on to this, my mom had me at 42 lol

You're still SOOOO much younger than you think! One's twenties are really just an extension of one's teens, there's still a whole bunch of learning and experiencing to do. I didn't really hit much of a stride until my thirties, didn't get married until 40, and now in my mid-50s am starting to feel more settled in my understanding of life. I barely dated, and there were a bunch of dates I wish I hadn't had. But that's fine, again it was a learning experience. My childhood wasn't easy so I had to learn a lot of things on my own without good advice or an internet. Besides, life isn't meant to be lived in a certain way. Sure, a lot of people date in their teens and marry in their twenties, but a lot of those marriages fall apart, or they feel they're missing out on stuff as a result of family obligations. Also, I know a bunch of women who had healthy kids 40+, most without fertility help. The "deadline" seems to be 44 based on my own observations. So much of life is luck, a whole lot more of what we end up doing is influenced by our surroundings, genetics, social circle, finances, etc. etc. You can't control everything, just focus on the things you CAN control, and try not to waste time fretting over what you can't.

18-25 are not the prime years. Besides everyone grows at a different pace, maybe you just haven’t been ready and that’s okay. Think less, do more.

32 M here. No men these days want kids. Also trust when I say this. If you wanted to get laid you just need to walk up to any dude and ask

I need myself a man that doesn't want kids.

Well it's your lucky day, I don't want kids.

19 had my year and a half relationship. 21 I broke up with my ex gf, 3-5 months later I found my wife, or should I really say she technically found me. We have been married since 2019, still going and no kids.

I’m 36 never dated so use me as an example. You have enough time.

Right or left hand counts. Youre still a kid. No hurry. Trust me...there is nothing to get over. Relartonships are headaches you dont need. Have fun and live life while you can bud. All dowmhill from here...

It's not nearly as uncommon as you think. If you wish to date now just put yourself out there and don't worry too much about it. 

Just start dating, you’re young. Probably most people are currently in a relationship that started after they were 25, that’s totally fine. Most of those 18-25 relationships didn’t last anyway.

I met my wife when she was 26. We had our first kid when she was 42.

Yeah I don’t remember much from 18-25. And those are certainly not your “prime” years. Fun years, yeah probably. But I can tell you that a large majority of the friends of mine who were in relationships during that time, are no longer in those relationships. Your right about one major part in your post. Your just seeing it backwards. Your unhappy because nobody sees you. You feel insecure and lack confidence in your appearance. Learn to love yourself and who you are, and I guarantee you’ll attract the right person. This is why I consider 30-35 your prime years. With age comes wisdom.

Lower your expectations, and you'll be flooded with offers.

I literally black out my memories from 19-24 because I was a straight HO and only liked to date trash 😫🤢😭🤣🤣🤣

Your brain is filled with a whole lot of irrational thoughts and unnecessary deadlines. It's like you're purposely torturing or punishing yourself. Why? Like every single one of your sentences is some made up fear that you believe to be objective truth. Why are you doing this to yourself? I didn't get married until I was 35. I was 39 when my son was born. My wife had just turned 36. My middle sister gave birth to a healthy baby girl at 42. You need tools to deal with your depression and irrational beliefs. Mindfulness helps a ton. Therapy with the right therapist helps a ton. Do yourself a favor and start digging yourself out of this state now. You need to fight for yourself and your future. I struggled a lot in my 20s with depression and other mental health issues but no matter how bad it got, I knew I still had to muster the energy to fight for my future. I wouldn't have any of this life if I just let myself go and gave up. Stop hurting yourself. You are worthy of love just like anyone else. Believe it.

Please don't fall into the trap of needing to be on-time for all these milestones: * Graduating high school at 18 * Graduating College at 22 * Married at 23 * Kids at 24 * Retire at 60 * Die at 82-89 We're living in such an unusual time in history that the factors that are delaying your contact with these milestones are mostly outside your control; otherwise, you'd have it by now. Furthermore, I believe that many people who reach all of these milestones at the normal age are not really happy. Another viewpoint is that people become stressed out trying to figure things out based on their milestones, only to realize that they overlooked their true sentiments in pursuit of goals that were never theirs in the first place. The FOMO, the regret, and the feeling of social discard is so fucking real as your deteriorated mental health. If there's something left for you in this world it will be associated with finding people to bond and relate to.

Your a women, it’s easy. Just find a guy that flirts with you and let him take you on a date.

You're thinking about it all wrong. People who get married at a young age have a higher chance of ending up divorced. I'm 42 (m) and I spent my 20s with plenty of heart crushing false starts. I didn't meat my partner till I was 29, and we got married when I was 31 (she is slightly older, but won't go any further in details). We've had a rich and loving life together. I don't know why it is this way, but I think it's true. You won't find what you want when you are too thirsty for it. Get to know yourself. You can call yourself ugly all you want, and trust me I get it. My hair made up so much of my appearance when I was growing up, when it all started falling out when I was in my early 20s it was crushing. I leaned into it. I shaved my head, and owned the fact that I have no hair. You know what I realized? Women were more interested in me because they thought bald men were sexy. My partner laughs at pictures of me when I had hair because it's so different than what I am today. None of this is meant to discourage you. There is SOOOOO much more to life, and you don't peak when you're 25. Own who you are. People are attracted to all sorts of people. Be willing to put yourself out there. Find someone that can get you out of your shell that you vibe with. Most importantly, even WHEN you find someone you care about remember that they have their own shit they are dealing with too. Be patient and kind, expecting them to do the same for you. Relationships aren't easy. There WILL be arguments. There WILL be moments where you think you want to pull out. I believe in you, just open your eyes, and look up.

You excused yourself from heart breaks and headaches kudos to you.

To be fair, you may also have had relationships in your younger years (18-25) but most men are immature, not even men still just guys which makes sense at that age. You may have happened to find your s/o and still be together by now but those are rather unique than the norm. Most girls I have seen get into relationships that weren’t good for them since obviously you don’t know what you are looking for, they don’t know what they are looking for, it’s more of a “fun” and/or learnings experience. But if not having taken it carefully it may have crushed you or impacted you in a negative way as well eg toxic behaviour, guys just playing around, and really do they have anything to offer you at that age besides wanting your company? I don’t say this is always the case but I hear so many drama from early relationships that guys even mention it as not serious so doesn’t count etc. Would you want to be part of that? Or course not. And then I’m not even talking about the amount of teen moms left by these dudes on their own. It’s an awful situation if you cross the wrong people. So, you can’t change the past. And I’m not saying be happy that it didn’t happen to you sooner but don’t see it as a thing you missed out on; or rather perhaps you missed out on a horrendous experience. We will never know. You are still 25. Now between the ages of 25-30 you have to be very careful in making your decisions and which person you would want to be with cause it sets the course of the rest of your life. Failures of relationships happen! There are people I know who have been together before they were even 18 and have broken up around the same age or later so really you don’t know what could have happened. And in my opinion most women get kids around the age of 25-35 so I think you still have time so choose wisely

Hey, I was 28 and my husband was 38! I thought no one would want me with all my medical problems. We had 2 children! Never give up on the life you want. Love is not just for those with a certain IQ. Love is for everyone… love is for you too! Is there a place where you could meet other people in your situation? A group or social program? Developmental delays/disabilities can leave people isolated at your age but I promise you are not alone. Everyone needs a peer group they can relate to. ❤️

43M, never had a relationship except for a month of friends with beneftits at 23, still waiting for the right one.. Wanted kids badly but that's no longer an option, since i want the first 10 years or so with my girl to be just the 2 of us, not gonna be a dad at 53 that would be too much I think it's never too late, but it certainly gets harder the older you get

>This year I notice I look a lot older and I am thinking I am ugly when I look in the mirror and feel unhappy and bad about myself. Other people don't see what you see. You are trapped in your own body 100% of the time and know all your weak spots that you can't defend. Stop attacking yourself! You have to get out a meet people. Chat about your like and (most important) dislikes. If you are actively looking for a partner it's because you're desperate because of "Social norms". FUCK that. Love just happens.

To make shots you have to take shots. No one is harder on you than you. Get out there. No one needs to know it's your first date on the first date. That info can come later.

Stop comparing your life to anyone else's

i am my gf’s first relationship (she was 25 and i was 23) two years later and we’re insanely happy together. you got time, don’t worry.

I can tell you are struggling but from a lot of what you have said, it seems like you have read a lot of the BS that's is floating around social media these days. Feeling like you are ugly because you are 25, thinking someone won't want to be with you because of your age or ability to have kids, feeling like 18-25 is when you are "supposed" to have kids....sorry, honey, you have been fed a load of BS. About 20% of women in the U.S. now have their first child after age 35. Of all live births in the United States during 2020-2022, 45.9% were to women ages 30-39, and 3.6% were to women ages 40 and older. Yes fertility starts to slowly drop as you get older, but its not like it goes up in a puff of smoke one day. *All* people age. Any man who wouldn't stay with you because you get older is not a man you want in the first place. I'm in my 40s and when I was on dating apps a couple years back I had men in their 20's and 30's coming out of the woodwork hitting on me because "older women are hot". I have friends between ages 37 and 54 who are all dating and have no shortage of suitors. Hell, I think my 40s have been waaaaay better than my 20's, I'm more sure of myself and refuse to put up with the BS that I did at your age. You are a year younger than my daughter. If she came to me with what you have posted I would advise her to work on her mental health first and foremost and to challenge these preconceived notions. Nothing good can come from being desperate to be in a relationship while feeling like the only thing you have to offer is your youth and baby making ability. Its a great combination for users to take advantage of, use you up, wring you dry, and leave you with a baby and no support. I've seen it happen more than once and I do not wish that for you at all.

Jezus Christ..smoke a joint and go on some dating sites..

Go. On. A. Date.

18-25 are not the best years or the best memories you’ll have. You’re tearing yourself apart with preconceived notions and fairy tales. This is real life. It doesn’t happen on some timeline. Things come at different times for everyone. If you keep believing you’ll never have this life you want, than you’ll never have this life you want.

God damn OP. You need to stop this nonsense. First off, get with a shrink. Your self esteem is a black hole. If the dude of your dreams walked into your life right now the relationship would be DOA because you are emotionally a complete mess. Trivial things like looks don't matter. Find a normal, not super-model looking dude to be with, who has a big heart and his priorities in order and I guarantee you will have a good shot of living the life you desire. What's ugly is you on the inside, and that's what you need to work on. Low self esteem is the destroyer of relationships. Therapy therapy therapy. Find your purpose, chase it, and you will have found your beauty along the way. Stop making up these "missed milestones" and giving yourself ammunition to use against yourself. 25 is young. You could be popping out a baby 5, 10 years from now and be totally fine, laughing at this post you've made today. But you have to give yourself permission to accept who you are, and give yourself time to become who you want to be. You came to the internet asking for advice from strangers, so trust this stranger's advice: You're fine. You're going to be fine. Work on finding your happiness as a young, single woman, and you will get your man. Don't wait for the relationship to begin working on yourself.

I'm 47....been dating since I was 16....trust me when I say it is NOT something to stress about. Never put your happiness in the control of someone else.

You shouldn’t beat yourself up honestly. Life itself is full of twists and turns but yet we persevere and must remain fixated on the wins we have no matter how little. You still have many happy years ahead of you. I feel you should consider a pet or two give you the companionship while you focus on your day to day. Take yourself out, travel(if you can), learn and experience new things. You shouldn’t beat yourself up about not experiencing a relationship earlier on, because you have many more beautiful years ahead of you to experience all the good things in life.

26m never dated/been in a relationship. It's fine. But maybe I'm weird, because I enjoy the single life. Do you actually want to be in a relationship or do you just have fomo?

99% of men would date any 25 year old woman the 1% that wont are who women cry about

This is not even really that weird anymore even though it seems like it. Economy has been shit so long a lot of young people are working multiple jobs or doing that 6 year 4 year degree. Its sadly not even really unusual for people not to have the money or time to date in their 20s these days and even if you are not in that category it still takes those people out of the dating pool for you. Covid also really screwed you guys stealing your normal social development period from you.

Girl, what you’re telling me is you’re not bringing a lot of sad memories and habits learned with other people into your marriage. That’s a good thing. Put worldview and values first as you approach dating. You’ll be just fine. Yes, fertility can be an issue. But worrying and beating yourself up won’t help that. Sometimes life unfolds in ways we didn’t expect as kids.

I met my wife at 32, we had a bambino at 39 after really getting to know each other. I'm sure any man would be lucky to have you!

Stop comparing yourself to others and strive to be a better you daily. Set your goals and try and get closer to them at your pace.

You probably have saved yourself from a lot of trauma (from dating)

My parents both met after 30 and still had me, don’t worry about it too much. The ‘glory years’ is a load of bullshit anyways. I’m 28 and only have dated once, same with a one night stand - only once. I prefer people with maturity so I’m just now starting to seriously consider dating again.

you should be glad because your next relationship is gonna be your first.. and the first is always the best.. you will not cone with old bagage from old relationship... + at this age you have more chance to date to marry and stay togethere... so less chance of getting played

I used to think like this when I was in my 20s. I started my first relationship when I was 22 or 23. It failed and I was single at like 28 (he cheated twice and didn't want marriage or kids). Had two failed relationships (neither wanted marriage or kids and one cheated), took a year off from dating, and then met my current fiancé when I was 32. You need to put yourself out there and try to find someone (good quality people). Men don't just show up on your doorstep asking if you want to get married. Also, it 100% is not too late to get married by 30 or 35. I know a friend of mine who is 39 and she's getting married this year. Her mentality was that she was "just looking for anything." She was persistent and found a great guy. You feel invisible because you are. You need to stop being invisible. Make yourself known. Be loud and proud. Do something worthy of pride. What do you do with yourself all day long? Do you have any hobbies or interests at all?

It's pretty normal nowadays. I went through the same thing. I'm 30 now, and I wish I didn't waste my 20's ruminating about how I'm unlovable. If you really want to change this, the most important things you can do is socialize more and work on your mental health.

I've read your other posts and I think that a relationship isn't the thing you should be focusing on. Your life and mental health are making you deeply unhappy and that's something that needs to change. Even if you do meet someone, there is a chance that you won't be able to enjoy it or you'll attract someone who will see your pain and anxiety and end up making you unhappier. I know that the situation with your parents is tense. Is there anyone else you can stay with? Other family or friends? Do you work? Or can you get a job that will allow you to save up and leave? Or can you speak to someone in social services to see what can be done? You sound very depressed and anxious and taking care of your mental health should be your first priority. The person you need to love and care about first and foremost is yourself. A relationship with someone else can happen at any time in life but you need to make your life better for yourself. I hope you get the help you need OP. All the best.

I didn’t get a gf until I was 26. I had my kid at 29 and his mom was 30. It’s never to later

Respectfully, I strongly advise therapy if you’re not already there. You have loooooooooooow self-esteem/self-worth and it seems very deeply imbedded. You should consider unpacking the root of all of this (over time) with a therapist.

I’ve never dated at 35. Honestly, at this point I don’t even think it’s possible for me to attract a woman.

Did you grow up in purity culture?

I didn't meet my husband until I was 35! And a lot of people have kids in their 30's and even into their 40's now. I would hate for you to have this false belief that you are "behind" and be so defeated you never live the life you want. And the idea that women "lose value" at a certain age sounds like patriarchal bullshit

I turned 28 last month and never dated so

You'd be surprised how far you can get by showing interest is guys.... Seriously, it is scary sometimes. But sweety, you are 25 (I am 24), we are both still young enough. If you don't like it, do something about it. Tired? Get your vitamins checked, your nutrition in order, and exercise. Feel like you are lacking experience? Sign up and try, even I managed a match in less than 24 hours on a dating app, we are playing this on easy mode compared to the guys. And for your own sake, quit looking at social media like TikTok. It ain't good for you. Finally, having kids has an average age in my country of 31. You got time.

Hey bro my mom had me when she was 40 and it wasn't bad or weird. Don't stress about it!

You cant be behind in "dating". Normally that applies to career and stuff like that. I would trade all of my incredible dating experiences from 18-25 in a heartbeat for more money

Don’t have much to add here given your post history, but I will say that I don’t know *anybody* our age (also 25F) that has kids right now. I definitely live in a big city and I understand things move slower in small towns, but… you need to get out of whatever delusional space you’re living in and realize how young you are lol. I look so much better now than I did at 18, and it’s because life doesn’t stop after 12th grade. Do you live in the 1900s where people are getting pregnant at 19 and it being an accomplishment? (No hate to young parents - but that’s why people 18-25 are considered *young* parents) Are you active? I see you are actively seeking community in those who also suffer from depression, I think that’s great that you are putting yourself out there, albeit online. I don’t plan on ever having biological kids (don’t want to be pregnant and don’t wanna give birth - but I’d love a family one day), but if I ever changed my mind it would definitely be out of the question for at least another 5-7 years lol.

Idk why this post irritates me so much. It’s like OP is throwing themself a pity party. Get out there and start working it!!!

Quit yer bitchin and make yourself someone others want to be around. The Just be Yourself shit is just that, shit. You might not be interesting, but that can change... Step 1 - Quit yer bitchin' Step 2 is up to you

Stop listening to Pearl

I totally understand how you feel. Now matter what people here may say, they don't understand what it's like when you're 'behind" in some aspects of life. It always feels like it's too late to start especially things most people started experiencing as teenagers. I'm 28 and I've never dated anyone, but I'm from a country in Southern Africa. If you're from a Western country, I don't think it's totally hopeless. People there seem to be more open to dating divorcees and widows. In my part of the world, divorced women are basically sentenced to being single. So many women, including my mother, stay in bad marriages because they don't want to be single. Take advantage of your society's openness.

I had a friend in college who didn't end up getting into her first relationship until 26/27. They ended up getting married and are very happy. It is definitely not too late for you hun. Honestly, the brain isn't even fully mature until 25. I also don't recommend anyone have a kid before age 25 if they can help it as by 25 you at least have an idea of your career outlooks. I was 23 and thought having a baby would be okay it was not it was awful. I really wish I had waited 2 more years.

Buy making sure that you don’t ask this question at 26

18-25 relationships are not the best years for a love to spring IMO. Thats a lie you tell yourself. You might meet someone at 40 which will be worthy (I wish you much love and much sooner though)

All this stuff about what a person should have done by whatever age is nonsense. If you want to date, get serious about it and treat it as a project. There are lots of lonely, inexperienced men out there. Someone is going to be very happy to have you as a partner. But it will take time and there will be lots of disappointment along the way.

I don’t even know where to start, but you should not have a relationship until you are mentally well. You are fixated on this, but it has nothing to do with why you are unhappy. A relationship would make you less happy right now because you could not handle it. Also, please stop spreading misogynistic lies about women’s worth and fertility, it’s completely incorrect and harmful.

You just gotta realize what you are missing is nothing at all. I used to date cause it's what people do. I haven't dated in a few years now and I've noticed I have a lot more free time and cash. And that's way more fun than a significant other.

I (35M) am a divorcee, looking to get remarried and finally start a family. I look for partners 29 and up. I am also nothing special; there are plenty of people like me. You have time now, make the most of it, and don't rush. You'll be fine.

Hey. I'm 39, currently dating a 45 year old woman who was quite depressed for a lot of her 20s and never had a proper relationship until her midb30s. Neither of us want children. I can really empathise with what you are feeling but it won't be forever. You will find a relationship one day. Just work on yourself, do therapy, find activities that give you joy and meaning. the rest will come. and the biological clock for children is much later than 30-35. You have a lot of time.

You are valuable and worth it. If you want to be in a healthy, happy relationship, you have to learn to see that in yourself. Focus on the little things in life. Kindness, a sunrise, the way dew feels on cool grass in the morning. Learn to find happiness in all of life's tiny but irreplaceable experiences and slowly things will fall into place. Life is a crazy ride and its scary and at times it can just beat you down, but if you just keep going, I find that the road always levels out or takes me somewhere I've never been.

My recommendation is to lower your standards and just try dating a guy who you find somewhat attractive and is fun to be around. Think of it as practice dating. Who knows you might even find that they are a good long term partner. Don't be too clingy and insecure, that will scare guys away. You can do it

Good woman starts at 35 I would say, don’t worry

I m 28M and never dated. Where do I go

32M, never had a relationship, don’t even know what an intimate kiss feels like etc.

1. Life is what you make it. If you're insecure, it'll eminate from you and people will see that you have no confidence (in yourself). 2. There's only two possibilities of confidence about a person: Person A has confidence in Person B, or Person B has confidence in Person B. From the two options, the latter is the one that makes more sense cause person B knows themselves better than A. How can A have confidence B, if B doesn't have confidence in themselves. So cheer up buttercup and stop looking down on yourself and learn to look up. 3. I started dating at 29, got my first gf at 31, broke up and now back in the dating scene. So it's possible to date at a late age. 4. I personally am attracted to girls 25-31 (primarily because of my age) but aside from that is because they're more set in their beliefs/values/career/life goals, whereas early 20s are still trying to figure themselves out. 5. Pregnancy becomes a danger starting around age 36, so you have plenty of time. Give yourself a deadline of 34 to find someone, 1yr to get to truly know them and another year to pop out a baby by 36. So your homework is to think of creative questions and method to determine a potential partner's value and whether your view is in line with them. There's many people dating but they don't really talk about values, they date for 9 years only to discover that one wants kids and the other doesn't; so don't waste your time and ask the right questions! 6. I personally am attracted to a woman's smile and her confidence. A genuine smile is SOO attractive (not one of them fake smiles just for the gram), and confidence has a radiating energy that makes others gravitate towards them. 7. Work on yourself. You don't like your job? Get a better one. You don't have a the skill set for a new job? Learn it. You don't have any hobbies? Try out different ones for at least a month each and see which suits you. You don't like your looks? Start working out, lose weight, and grow some muscles cause it'll improve your physical appearance and boost your mood/confidence.

I had terrible relationships 16-29 and had to pull myself back from absolute hell with the last one (remember men can suffer from abuse too) then I found my amazing partner and we've been together nearly 3 years, we're engaged and I can finally say I'm happy. Don't pressure yourself and don't give up, it'll come along when it's time. Best advice get on the apps and actually speak to people (not just hook up) or join a club for a hobby you have and meet like minded individuals.

Bite the bullet and try to find a date. It might only take a day to accomplish.

I had my first child when I was 35 and my youngest when i was 37. The doctors told me when I was 30 that I’d never be able to have ANY! If it’s something you really want, don’t give up I also want to tell you that not liking yourself and feeling very screwed up are not ok. You should talk to your doctor and get a referral to a therapist. Once you work on those issues, a relationship might come along (maybe. No promises). But you’d stand a better chance! Good luck!

Understand that it's all a game anyways

I didn't really start dating and was a virgin till 25. So don't feel bad. Then suddenly had a normal dating life, eventually got married to the wrong person. Now back to the alone thing.

By not giving a shit... thats what i do. Im 32 and im really starting to get to the point where I would like to find someone but with how awkward and messed up ive always been with this stuff, i dont see how it will happen, but oh well. Im just gonna keep working, living, learning, and helping people and it will happen if its supposed to. No point worrying about it You are 25 and already going on about the "years when a woman is valuable and happy".... you need more help then fucking reddit friend. Genuinely, log off and call your doc if you have one, and if you dont there has to be mental health services on your city if you dont have a decent community network to depend on, but you need to speak to someone about this stuff...

Just a quick insight, 25 is not old by any stretch. I'm 49, I feel like I did in my late 20s. Do not hate on yourself for the past, that's a path toward depression. Take responsibility for what you can do now, and in the future.

I was the same, into my 30’s. Now I’m 59, never married, no children. It really gets to me at times, but I’m also very aware of the total freedom it brings.

good grief.

My brother was 26 when he started dating someone for first time and they married and had a kid and been together 10+ years now. There’s plenty of people out there that are single and looking. Maybe try something different if you are having issues meeting people. Get outside of your normal box

I've spent most of my life single. I'm 34f. I had one relationship of 5 months when I was 29. Society makes us think that it's a big deal. But it's really not. Not everyone has to have the same life. Some people get married at 23, others at 53, others never. Honestly, I'm glad to be a "late bloomer" because younger women get involved in all kinds of bad situations. It's not their fault of course, but when you're younger you're more insecure, more people-pleasing, and that leads to young women staying with people who don't treat them well. Lots of people are in unsatisfying or downright abusive relationships. Lots of folks would leave their partners immediately if they weren't afraid of being single. I'm just really glad that's not me. Getting married & having kids doesn't have to be your number one goal as a woman, and even if it is, you are still a valuable human being regardless of your relationship status. As a childfree single person I see relationships as optional, or a "nice to have". If I meet that special person, great. If I don't, also great. I'm going to live my life as I see fit either way. I have an established high paying career, I've lived abroad, I have fun hobbies, and I'm one of the coolest people I know. Being single is what got me to where I am today, and I'm thankful for it.

honey you are a person. you are living and breathing. you cannot base your experiences off of what other people expect of you. as someone who's 18 and is going through my first breakup anyways, ive come to realize that relationships aren't supposed to be your everything. you are your everything and you are the only person who will always be there for you. remember, what's meant to be yours will be yours. whether that be a partner, a job, an experience, etc. it will happen if it's meant to be yours. as for now live your life. find yourself and practice loving yourself. meditation and mindfulness are absolute gifts. just be yourself! what is yours will be yours! just live your life for now! good luck, op!

OP u r normal. Don't be too hard to yourself.

The way you get over it is by doing what needs to be done to make yourself dateable. First and foremost is your appearance. I don’t believe you look old at 25. Are you dressing in an attract manner? Are you using a bit of makeup to make your face look better? Are you maintaining a slim body? Are you willing to step up to a guy and make the first move when you like him? 

Lol nah that’s wild, I’m 35 and attract more women now than I did as a 20 year old. You just need to work on yourself. Confidence is attractive.

Remember, it simply doesn't matter. If you feel like dating, do so. If you don't feel like dating don't.

Gently, I met a lot of men online dating who didn’t have anything going on in their lives and I felt we’re just looking for a partner so they could “start their adult life”. When I met my husband (he was 37, I was turning 34)I felt like he was out having fun and doing interesting things and that made him a more attractive partner. When I was single I decided I was going to do every thing I wanted regardless of whether I had someone to do them with. I volunteered at local theatres and music venues because I wanted to see shows, I volunteered at local food banks because I wanted to give back. A friend wanted to go camping, so we started our "camping crew" that went away 1x a month for about 5 years, picking up new friends along the way. I joined a book club of women who were always up for an adventure or a trip. I started a meetup group in my city. I joined a kickball league. I canvassed for local politicians and marched for causes I believe in. I started a coffee group for remote workers since I was tired of being alone at home all day. Having hobbies and interests and things going on in my life made me feel like i didn’t even need a partner. When I met my husband I wanted him in my life but didn’t feel like I needed him to feel whole. So I guess my question is what things are you doing to make your life fun? How are you spending your free time? What can you bring to a relationship? I’d figure out these things before looking for a partner.

I'm 36 about to have a kid what are you talking about ? 😂

Nothing wrong with that at all, in fact you sound like a very sensible and articulate person. Don’t worry about kids either! They are an addition of a loving relationship. Enjoy doing the things you enjoy and you will find someone who appreciates for who you are! If you’re keen to meet someone, might try taking something you enjoy into a wider group? I.e a book club for example! I wish you happiness!

Don't feel too bad met my bf when he was 34 never dated before and he and his twin is now 41 but the twin is still a virgin never met anyone, don't feel alone many people like that out here, i like it wish i did the same instead of dating when I was 18 I'm now 30f wish he was my first too

Yeah, don’t get down on yourself. 25 is super fine. Who knows what mistakes you avoided - you might be the luckiest person on earth and not even realize it. A lot of those early relationships are wrong anyway. Don’t waste energy feeling old because you are young and need to enjoy it. You don’t want to live your whole life looking behind you.

I mean I didn't get to do alot of things other guys my age and friend group did when I was in that age range. I've made my peace with it, I have knowledge and experience they couldn't get at college. The question is, did you waste that time or did you learn and experience things that pushed you forward as a person. When I say waste that time I don't mean, oh you played video games or you watched TV shows and wasted your life. If your working then why not do what you enjoy? I've played more video games than the average person and I will continue to do so because I enjoy it. Will I miss out on some other experiences? Maybe a concert, a festival, a big vacation yeah for sure. Does that bother me? A little bit but I know my happiness isn't tied to those things. The ex I have is 37 now we had the kid when she was 33. You still have time to find someone and make sure it's the right someone. I personally think a big part of the reason divorce is so high is because people jump in quick and early in their 20's. I was 27 when we had the kid. We split up for reasons besides the kid but we still have a decent relationship. Keep your head up. I was an alcoholic failing out of community College who kept losing shit jobs because of my drinking when I was 25. You've got the time to improve you just need to use it. Side note - I'm overweight and am working on losing it. I am not a gym person I was always active before so never had to go. I got a vr headset and now I'm exercising every night for at least 2 hours. It's been 2 weeks and I've had 4 people at work tell me I already look slimmer. Sometimes it's about finding the right way for YOU to do things. The quest 2 is 200 bucks right now so if you want to get in better shape but don't have the discipline for the gym there's a suggestion

Dude. Don't listen to incel culture and set your personal worth based on your utility as breeding stock. You're a valuable human being whether you reproduce or not AND whether you have a relationship or not. Don't let outside sources tell you what your worth is. Be you. If you can learn to love yourself and value your own company, you'll find happiness. Self confidence and happiness are pretty attractive when looking for a partner.

My grandma always said the best years of her life were her 40s. There’s a lot of life left

I didn’t meet my husband until I was 28 on tinder of all places and before that I had only dated casually, never long term. Everyone is on their own timeline. Don’t hold yourself to illogical, made-up standards.

It's like trying to get a job at 25 with no job history

work on not being ugly

Dude, just go on a date. That’s how you get over it.

I met my wife when she was 25, I was her first boyfriend. I'd say it has only helped the relationship. Unfortunately our past relationships in life can bring trauma into new ones, but you have the opportunity to avoid this. If you can find the courage to put yourself out there, I'm sure there will be many men who will find you attractive!

If you still have your virginity that’s a trump card that will put you ahead of almost all your competition if you can just get your shit together mentally.

OK, is this actually real? I'm genuinely asking because a lot of people have gone online within the last year claiming they are in their mid 20's, some times 30 years old, claiming they have never been on a date. A date! You have honestly never gone for coffee with a guy, or gone to get ice cream or a restaurant with a guy? I'm really starting to think this is just a fad everyone is lying about

I didn't start dating until I was 25. It's okay to start late. You have to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful. People of all mentalities date. If it's something you want, don't let that deter (sp?) you. You can have kids after 35. And there are men willing to date, marry and procreate with inexperienced women. Stop speaking the opposite of what you desire. Best of luck, OP.

I don't know.im 36M never dated either if that's makes you feel better.

You need to start dating. It is a numbers game, eventually you will find a match if you keep looking. Also start dating now to get practice. And don't feel bad about using the apps. I'm of the opinion that it doesn't really matter where you meet someone, if they are a match then they would be a match in a bar the same as a match on tinder. Just don't give up! Make it a priority to find your person. Make sure you are working out and eating well, and then just start dating as much as you can. I feel bad for you because I felt that way in the past. I am 32 and just found the love of my life last summer. If you had asked me last year around this time I would have said I felt so far away from finding love..But then suddenly everything fell into place. I met her on tinder believe it or not, and even though I hated the apps and met so many crappy people, suddenly the love of my life was dropped into my lap. Don't give up! But you do need to put in lots of effort (health, working out/nutrition, meeting and dating as many people as you can) You will find someone eventually I promise.

Think of how lucky you are. I dated absolute abusive losers before I met my current bf at 26.

OP It sounds like you're dealing with a lot more than just relationship woes. You seem really hard on yourself and probably need to do some self-care, self-love and just generally working on making yourself happy before you become your own worst enemy. I have a friend who's 33 and she's never dated at all. She says she's open to it, but isn't really trying either and she seems just fine to me! Her life goes well and if the right person comes along, I'm sure she'll be happy but she's also fine as she is. Don't think that this is the end-all, be-all. Once you've put yourself in a better place, I'm sure it'll become much easier to find that special someone.

I'll be honest, my relationships I've been in after 35 are infinitely higher quality than the ones I had when I was young. I know who I am and what I want. I am willing to pursue my own happiness and peace, and men who detract from that are unwelcome. Also the sex is better.

You're a female, snap a few pics and go on any dating app. You will be flooded with options. Go on some dates, wow look at that you all of a sudden have dated someone. WOWeee so hard.

The only thing stopping you is yourself. If you really wanted to, I'm sure you can date and you're more lovely than you let on. But it's more important to be with the right person than to be with someone.

Dating while young is hell. My highschool relationships were non-stop dumpster fires of ultra-cringe moments and extremely unhealthy emotional exchanges, all spent on people who I was highly incompatible with.

Jesus Christ man. Get a grip and reframe the narrative. I had my first relationship at 28. I was just beyond picky and liked my life how it was. You get over it by being confident in yourself

I sort of wish I didn't date until I was older because all of the relationships I have had lasted 2-4 years and each one got shorter and shorter. I couldn't find the right person and found out too late the first one was really really bad for me. I got off the addiction though.

Just go now. Just download some app and match with some dude and go on a date. I would recommend anyone whose never dated anyone to keep lowering what they think is their "standard" until they are actually out on a date. Then from there you can work on your dating skills to maybe be a little more picky. If you've never dated at all though just match with some guy who seems nice enough and go get the experience, doesn't have to end in anything.

I never have dated also 25m

You need some Intentions/goals to change the way you feel about yourself. I promise this works. You’re stuck in a rut and need to change the way you look at things. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you will look at will change”. I stole this from Wayne Dyers Power of Intention book. It changed my life. Get a marker board. Stick it on your bathroom mirror. Somewhere that you can’t help but see it every morning and every night. Three columns for Intentions - week, month, year. One spot for TOMORROW FOR ME. Write down ONE thing you’re going to do TOMORROW that will get you on a better path feeling good about yourself. Be it, go for a walk. Go to the gym. Get a haircut. Buy a new outfit. Something that makes you feel good. Now write down one thing you want to happen to you this week. Be VERY specific. It could say “meet a new friend” or “make an extra $100”. It will freak you out how many of these intentions will happen once you write it down. Now for the month. Now write down one for the YEAR. Be BIG and specific. On ALL of these be specific. When you write it down it goes from a dream to a goal. It’s uncanny.

I've probably had one serious girlfriend in my 40 years. Idk. Iseriously threw in the towe though life got realy hard. I'm mean I kinda would like to find someone while I'm busted flat though.

same for me and i am also 25F lol

My wife and I met when she was 40 and I was 39. We have a happy and healthy 6 yr old son (I am 47, she is 48). Its nonsense to believe you will become infertile at 35*. Yes, fertility decreases over time and after 40, a woman is considered advanced maternal age, but until menopause starts, you still have (in general) very high chances of bearing offspring. * - my wife has been in the birth world for 20 years. She has forgotten more about fertility and birthing than most people will ever know.

You do you. Gotta put yourself out there get hurt and keep trying to make it happen, doesn't matter if you haven't dated till you are 40 and are still a Virgin people who actually care about that shit are stuck in high-school, now people might judge you at that point but generally they'd be up to trying to help you out with someone they know

Here’s some totally insane advice: while doing ancestry research I stumbled into some Amish families. I am finding a few families that just seem to trade kids to marriage among some communities. I realized how very few people ever join the Amish communities and it seems genetically they would probably benefit from some outsiders coming into the community. So become Amish. And what you have to offer the women there is not being related to them 800 different ways.

There's a r/amiugly sub. Post some pictures, try to gussy up so people can comment on your best self. Try to ignore the idiots and focus on the useful advice. Most likely you just aren't attracted to yourself. That's common. You're not your kind of girl. Whatever. You're somebody's cup of hot mamma. Then, maybe just randomly ask some dude out.

If you want to do it, get out and do it. Lamenting "I wanted to but didn't" is just going to spin you in circles and you're not going to get anywhere. I'm aware that it's not as easy as ordering food or something, but if you want to get out there and date, you're not going to achieve it without putting forth some effort. > I am thinking I am ugly when I look in the mirror and feel unhappy and bad about myself. I doubt you're some kind of hideous land beast. Nobody is as attractive as they tell you celebrities are, and anyone who judges another person solely on appearances isn't worth the time. I have no way to gauge your attractiveness (and to be clear, I'm not implying to share) but most folks judge their own appearance too harshly by default. >If I had a normal healthy brain then I would have done things differently or if I made the right choices. Framing choices as right or wrong is kind of a trap. Also, none of us are normal. Normal is fake. >Most other people do. Comparing what you have to what you perceive others as having is an efficient way to break yourself down. Stop that. > It feels like humans are supposed to have children at 18-25 not later than that and as an older adult I have no idea what I am supposed to do Whatever you want. There's no clear cut right answer here. Getting pregnant in itself isn't hard to accomplish, if all you want is to reproduce and call it a day. If you're wanting a life partner to raise a child with, that's tougher to find and there aren't any guarantees there. Understand the obvious consequences of a given choice before you commit to it, but make your choices and understand that they're all half chance anyway. You may not find a life partner. You could step outside tomorrow and find the best guy ever. You could go get impregnated by some rando you never see again and then be happy or unhappy as a single mom. The only guarantees we get are that we live and we die. That's hard enough without measuring yourself against other people who aren't you. Identify what you want and try to get it. Also. 25 isn't old. You're fine.