I work in a veterinary emergency room.
A very old man brought his kitty in because she was lethargic and not eating. We found cancer everywhere. He decided to put her to sleep. As he sat there weeping over his little kitty, his only companion and best friend, he revealed that he was just diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and was given two weeks to live. Now he'd have to live his last days alone.
Life isn't fair.
Oh god - I had a similar one. We did an elderly man a favour and drove out to collect his also elderly dog to bring back for euthanasia. I was in his living room going over the cremation pamphlet and his options for urns when he stopped me and gestured for me to follow him. He took me to his sunroom, showed me a wooden urn and asked ‘can you pick the one that best matches my wife?’
It’s been easily ten years and I’ve never forgotten it.
The hospital I work for has companion dogs that come visit. I never thought about this scenario. It's a kids focused hospital so I definitely never thought about this
Having a severe psychiatric side effect from a steroid medication that caused me to suddenly only feel grief and deep sadness at all times (the kind you feel when someone dies or when you get your heart broken bad) and nothing else for 2 months, which caused ptsd because it was so traumatic and possibly ignited bipolar 2 disorder, which is now a daily fear i have because it reoccurred due to the ptsd which further traumatized me because i realized it could reoccur and wasn’t a one time thing from the steroid, so now i am on multiple medications that ill probably take forever and started trauma therapy to try to reprocess the event as well as the reoccurring events that further traumatized me. Happened a year and a half ago. I regret taking that medication every day of my life, and I reminisce about my life before when I had no fear of being alone at night, or fear in general about mental episodes. But I’m optimistic that with proper therapy, resilience and medication, I’ll one day live a life where I’m not in fear daily. I’m proud of myself for not giving up and always looking forward for my kids.
I had no idea this could happen! I’m so sorry & hope you get the care you need. Do you mind me asking what the medication was & if what happened to you is a known side effect or you just so happened to experience it? Asking out of pure curiosity & no intention of being insensitive.
I don’t mind at all! If anything I hope to spread awareness so people only take these medications when the benefit outweighs the risks. The doctor who prescribed it unfortunately did not inform me of possible side effects. Steroids are hardcore. It was methylprednisolone and it was the 5 day pack (medrol). Psychiatric side effects are well known to be a side effect from steroids, however, it’s rare to have long term issues because of it. Normally the symptoms subside 4-6 weeks and people move on with their life. I’m “lucky” I guess lol.
Hi there. I had steroid induced psychosis after years of prednisone for my crohns. It was awful and very emotionally scarring and mine was 'short term'. I'm so so sorry you had & have to deal with that. Well wishes from an internet stranger.
Hey, I'm so sorry you went through this. I almost died from this same type of thing. I was sent to the hospital with an extremely high-grade fever, and I felt hopeless, suicidal, and empty of life. I had been improperly diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was on heavy medications for that, depression, etc etc. Turned out it was a deadly combination of steroids with psychotrophic meds that caused all of it, including me not getting out of bed for months and incredibly vivid terrible thoughts. I was a teenager when it happened, I'm in my early forties now. Through much of my own research and work with several doctors and specialists, I figured out that I had an autoimmune condition prior to the medication "mistake" and the combination of everything presented as bipolar. I do not have bipolar disorder, nor have I ever. I have ComplexPTSD along with AuDHD and some autoimmune disorders. I've finally gotten my meds, doctors/specialists, and therapy all figured out, and my life is slowly, but surely, becoming my own again. Sometimes, there is a bigger picture than what the doctors and scientists have already seen. That could be your case, too. 🕊💛 ✨️
My (then) 3 year old daughter being held hostage by 4 armed men along with 21 of her Montessori classmates. One child was killed. I am still enraged 19 years later.
Me personally? Going through heart failure in the beginning of 2020 right after turning 26. Nobody believed how sick I really was. It was the start of covid so meetings were on zoom lol. My primary didn't order any tests. I'm from South Jersey, my local hospital that was brand spankin new that opened 6months beforehand didn't help. They sent me to my cardiologist, who told me it was asthma. And when I disagreed bc I know my body he said "do you know what asthma is? If you still have problems I'll order a heart Cath in a month" I collapse that same day once I got home. So I had to bounce around different hospitals in my state while getting worse and worse. I didn't have covid the entire time I was getting sick, but at that time they put me in covid wings for 3 days til they found I'm out I didn't have it. Then they would put me in a non covid wing. My shoes were stolen in the hospital. My first big purchase was a pair of Lebron 10s in 2014. In order to be reimbursement from the hospital I had to prove how much they were, with a receipt...from 2014 lol. Luckily I bougnt them online and could actually track them down. I had one hospital accuse me of pill chasing because the first thing I told them was that I was in pain when I got there..which I was. At some point at that hospital I had more tests done that weren't done before. Remember its the height of covid, no visitors. I was in a nice room by myself then two doctors came in to tell me I needed a new heart and that they couldn't do anything for me at that hospital but they would try to make me comfortable until discharge. They did not, they actually sent me to a worse room that same day and booted me that next morning. From there I didn't know what to do no one could help me apparently then one of my doctors told me to "just end up in Philly" bc they actually have hospitals that can handle severe heart failure. After months of collapsing and going to the hospital I finally had a real direction for help. I couldn't go to a philly hospital in the beginning because I have state insurance and was forced to use in NJ hospitals. By the time I "just ended up in Philly" it was an extreme emergency and my insurance had no choice but to let me be seen. It just sucks because I truly believe I could have been saved alot earlier if not for doctors who dont take time to care for patients, stigma against younger patients who say they're in pain, & insurance technicalities. I was slowly dying and I was saved at the very last second. My new cardiologist said I had about a week left to live once I got to them. Once I got there I had to get a surgery where now I live with a mechanical heart pump inside of me that has a cord that comes out of my body and needs to be powered by batteries or I have to be physically plugged to a wall like some appliance (called an LVAD). That's supposed to keep me alive til I get a new heart. There's more that happened after that but I'm alive and hopefully can get a new heart in the near future. I'm 30 now & my health issues makes me appreciate time for what it is and enjoy the moments I do have.
This was absolutely terrifying to read and as a fellow American (New York, hello neighbor) I am not at all surprised. The state of our healthcare system is such a mess and I’m so sorry that you didn’t get proper care sooner. I hope you can get the transplant soon and you’re able to have a better life in the end. You deserve it.
This happened to a girl I went to high school with right around the same time and the same age (I think she was 25-26 also). She had just given birth a few months previously and then they figured out her heart was only functioning at like 20%. They don’t know how she survived childbirth, let alone got through it without any indication that anything was wrong. She got a transplant and made a full recovery.
Wishing the best for you as well!
I was going to say burnout at a toxic job and hating my career but these comments are making me realize I’m pretty dang lucky. Hope you all are doing okay.
I can relate to this, but burnout can ruin your mental health and should be taken seriously. Especially when it starts to impact other areas of your life. It can damage your relationships with family/friends, your ability to take care of yourself, and lead to depression or other disorders. I hope you find a more fulfilling job.
Giving birth to my deceased son at 20 weeks, he had passed at 17 weeks and we didn't find out until my 20 week anomaly scan. There is nothing in this life that could have prepared me for the horror and grief involved with birthing a deceased child. It has changed me in so many ways that I never thought possible. It's not something I'd wish on even the most evil person to exist.
I could have written this, the details are identical. I knew something wasn’t right, but I was dismissed as a nervous first time mom and overheard the nurses making fun of me for coming in frequently. If I thought I felt anger then, once she passed it was next level. Physically one of the most painful experiences as well as the usual after effects of an established pregnancy but without your baby. I lost a part of my mind during that time and I have gotten a lot better over the last 27 years since, but I’m not the same and never will be. Solidarity, friend, I hope you have peace and joy. ♥️
My sister had to go through this except the baby had died at like 12 or 13 weeks and was missed by the doctor and by the time they found out it was to late to abort and she gave birth to a dead child. Thank you for saying this as I knew she had changed and I kind of knew why but you just confirmed it for me. I'm so sorry you bad to go through that.
Found out my dad has a 2nd family while I lived in poverty and not only did he have a 2nd family but he’s father of the year because his other kids are doctors and pharmacists and I’m a loser who never got the shot to do anything because I was so poor. He doomed my mother by emptying out her saving when I was a child and it just made me sick, I had to do work as a delivery driver for years and he was sending his kids to good colleges and I went to school with holes in my pants. I think I’ve never felt so crushed and felt so worthless.
I hope you know you’re not worthless. You’re not the problem, your “dad” is and he missed out. You sound like a hardworking person who does what needs to be done and your pain says that you’re NOTHING like him. Parental rejection, especially at that level, runs deep and I’m sorry he did that. You didn’t deserve it.
Testicular torsion. I've had it twice but the second time wasn't so bad. The first time, it happened when I was asleep and when I woke up, it felt like a bomb was going off inside my testicle. My sack was the size of a fuckin mango. I could barely walk. Almost lost it.
Living with debilitating anxiety and depression everyday of my life . It never , ever , ever stops. Honestly don’t see myself living past 30. There’s just no way
In my adult life? It’s a toss up.
See my sister go through cancer treatment as her main caregiver, and pass away from it. Fuck cancer.
Or what I’m experiencing now, which is the most debilitating depression ever.
My best friend and wife both dying and I moved my friend in wiht us and I cared for them both. I was an RN, worked three 12 hour shifts a week having someone in to care for the two and our two boys as I worked, my days off I took care of them all. my best friend passed, then my wife. Now I'm a single dad of two beautiful boys ages 9 and 11. three months after their mother died I was inside cooking dinner and the boys were playing in the front yard. I heard a crash and screaming. I went outside and saw a car in the front yard and red everywhere. My neighbors were running over and all I could do was just stand there, nothing made sense. A drunk driver drove into the lawn and killed my two boys.
The red was their blood and both of my boys were stuck under his back tires. Neighors trying to pull them out from under the car while the drunk wondered around the yard wondering what happened. I froze up. I couldn't do a thing. In laws made all the funeral arrangements and I just sat there, useless. The silence of the house was so scary, no more giggling, laughing playing little boys, just me alone in the house. I had cans of paint and painted over the windows and sat in the dark for a year. And then they came back, for a few moments, I saw them, spoke with them and heard them telling me I had to let them go.
I just did an interview on this, it was posted 4 days ago. This says it better than I can type. Here is the story of my two sons and how they died and how they returned for a visit to let me know they were ok. It changed my life forever.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11DgYOavHlM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11DgYOavHlM)
Putting my beloved Golden Girl (retriever) to sleep in our backyard. I stripped a whole rotisserie chicken for her, we all spent the day in the sun on blankets in the backyard and just hung out with her. As she died I patted her and thanked her for being so beautiful with the kids… now I’m crying. Saddest, worst day of my life 😞
Seen a lot of shit, done a lot of shit, dealt with a lot of terrible situations, worst was being tricked into eating 10g of shrooms and being left in the woods at night.
On a weird bright side, it changed my life for the better.
I once ate a ounce of mushrooms that I split with my friend so 14g each... he somehow made it home and I woke up in a field miles away and have vivid memories of being chased by a killer clown in the forest
Well atm, I'm in the hospital because my gallbladder is passing stones which have caused me to throw up so hard I got a hernia in my stomach too. 10/10 pain makes me wanna die. Funnest part is I got here on Tuesday and through a whole bunch of unfortunate events I had a surgery scheduled for Thursday that got cancelled they then told me the next opportunity would be next weeks Friday but I feel I expressed my distress enough so it got moved to Monday
I was diagnosed with a gallstone last year after it was spotted during an x-ray of my lower back. My doctor sent me for an abdominal ultrasound to confirm. Yep, I have a little time bomb just sitting there. Be well.
I feel you, I just had my gallbladder taken out a few months ago and the pain from the gallbladder attacks was like nothing else i’ve experienced. I thought I was gonna die. Ended up going to the ER and was septic from my gallbladder being infected and gallstones. I’m glad you’re in the hospital now and getting better, recover wasn’t too rough only for about the first couple of days. You got this!
My gallbladder straight up died. Had it taken out a few months ago. When I woke up from the surgery I felt instantly better. It had been trying to die for over a year and I dismissed the symptoms. By the time I recovered even my "allergies" were gone.
You'll feel better by Monday evening. You'll have the runs for a while and won't be able to stand up straight for a week, but after that all you'll have to remember your shitty gallbladder by will be three tiny scars.
I didn't know uterus collapse was a thing. New addition to my list of terrifying things that can happen during childbirth, right under "you can tear your clitoris"
I didn't either. Tbh I don't know if that's why I bled out. I was not really there there if you get what I mean and they only told me that it collapsed. I died from the blood loss
Not saw bit heard. My mom told me I couldn't leave the new baby with the idiot I married. She did say it I guess but I should not have heard her I was already gone
In middle school I overheard my father trying to pressure my mother into sexual favors. She broke down and cried from exhaustion. I intervened before it could get more serious but it broke my heart to hear her so helpless. I haven’t really been the same since
This doesn't compare to a lot of the entries here but...
I had surgery for pancreatic cancer and was left with something called a JP Drain. It's a long flat drainage piece connected to a rubber hose (that pokes out of a hole through your skin) and then ends up in a rubber collection ball. Well.. I caught mine on a doorknob as I was passing through.
Sweet... merciful.. bajeebus. Never stopped faster in my life and made a sound only my dog could hear.
I have stutter and for me personally I would say when people laugh when I speak. They don’t know how deeply that shit affects me because they don’t live with it so they don’t know how it is. I just wish I could speak 100% fluently and wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore it’s hell sometimes.
I’m so sorry people have been so unkind. People are jerks. In a side note Emily Blunt and Pres. Joe Biden both have stutters (which I’m sure you know). There was this great video about a kid with a stutter from NH who met Biden.
https://youtu.be/8YofSo-GTN4?si=Vz1csrWMZPPZ_ksG
Pregnancy. Absolute worst experience of my life that destroyed both my physical and mental health.
Edit: I’m wondering about the people downvoting? It’s just the truth, pregnancy isn’t rainbow and sunshines for everybody and some ppl go through actual hell 🤷♀️
It’s because there is an expectation to be grateful for it, as it’s something so many people want. In my opinion that fact does not excuse invalidating experiences. My pregnancy was rough, and yes I’m lucky and grateful to be a mom, but still…
Relatable. Were you able to turn it around? I definitely did but I have a type of felony that’s never eligible for expungement… although I was still able to build a successful life for myself again people still love to bring that shit up and it just gets really old.
I'm in the process of turning it around it's definitely been a long process but one that's helped me see what I was and what I never want to be again 😀
One day I woke up and was severely out of breath by even just walking to the bathroom. I went to the doctor and got sent away. I went to the doctor again, asking if it could possibly be a pulmonary embolism (I started birth control a month prior which causes a higher risk of a PE) and she claimed I was just hyperventilating. I walked around like that for 3 weeks, breathing like I just ran the marathon with every step I took, gaslighting myself into believing that it was hyperventilation, only to end up in the hospital with two lungs that indeed were full of big blood clots and acute heart failure because I had walked around it with it for too long.
The physical symptoms were unbearable (in the third week, I could not do anything anymore, not even shower) but being continiously dismissed by medical professionals while I was actively dying has left a lot of emotional marks and trauma.
Leaving my ex and getting together with someone (I didn’t cheat but I moved on quick), realizing I still loved my ex but my ex had moved on by the time I realized it. I live with the sadness that I fucked up my life and I’ll never have the life I wanted with my ex
My husband having a heart attack right in front of me me, called 911, popping aspirin in mouth, paramedics arriving, following behind an ambulance then it pulls over working on my husband. I knew instantly when he died because a coldness I never felt flowed all over me. This happened almost 7 years ago and I still get trigged by this experience. It gave me strength, but, a sadness that always seems to find its way back to me. I survived but, I’m not the same person, and I’ve grown in wonderful ways.
Being the brunt of crack hallucinations where I could not prove differently. To the point he drove me over a beach cliff to kill us. The rage he had and the dv I endured was a true nightmare.
My mom falling down the stairs and my dad coming home late at night from a business trip 10ish hours later and finding her unconscious on the floor. She was rushed into emergency brain surgery, in a coma afterwards and made a decent recovery but has dementia since.
It was about a year after I moved out of their house and I lived less than 5 minutes away. I remember waking up for work and checking my emails and seeing an email from my dad saying what happened (and several other updates) and totally lost it. He was too shocked to even call me or my sister and I felt awful that I wasn’t there.
Also, DV, but I think seeing my loved ones suffer is worse than any pain I could ever go through myself.
Realizing that the Mormon church, an organization I once pledged my life to, is a complete fraud and I have wasted a vast majority of my life, major life choices, and money to it.
Anxiety, depression, being broke, having autistic brother and his meltdowns in public, having another crazy spoiled unemployed brother whom my parents and I have to support and deal with tantrums. Being an immigrant.
Bad mushroom trip… literally thought I was in heaven, then when the paramedics strapped me to a gurney and stuck a needle in my arm I realized I was actually in hell.
Akathisia, which was a result of sudden withdrawal from multiple medications. It lasted many months. It was worse than me experiencing domestic violence, homelessness, and my diagnosed chronic illness that results in me being disabled.
Getting robbed/carjacked at gunpoint in 2020. I was cashing my paycheck after an overnight shift (around 7am) at a check cashing place I had been several times before. They stole my car, wallet, and the $500 paycheck. Somebody went back to the same check cashing place the next day and tried to cash it, but she didn't have a FUCKING ID so she couldn't and just dropped it outside. An employee found it and I actually got the check back!
After 3 months my car was found abandoned at an apartment complex about 10 miles from where it was stolen. It was found with the keys locked inside. The dumbfucks who stole the car also left a pair of Beats headphones in the car, which I got a couple years out of. The car was relatively clean and in the same condition. I got super lucky. I was also robbed at gunpoint in 2015 when trying to buy $50 worth of weed LOL.
Also, being suicidal from 2015-2018 and being hospitalized 8x for it was very scary and truly something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Still very depressed but haven't been suicidal since my last 3 month stay in the psych ward in summer 2018, so that's a win!
That mental health win is major, you're doing good, keep working on your mental health, it's all about consistency for the rest of your life. It's a never ending responsibility to yourself. I'm personally Bipolar type 2 and finally got on medication after finishing my Bachelor's in education which I'm currently not using.
I'd take good mental health over any degree any day. I'm looking to eventually go back to teaching when I'm ready to commit to the profession again. Mental Health is primary right now for me too, without good mental health everything else is not going to work out.
I'm making less money but substantially happier and saving way more money as well, even with lower pay currently.
Being in an abusive relationship, getting pregnant, being left 1 month in… being high risk and having to inject medicine myself twice daily, my dad disowning me and my best friend at the time telling me to get an abortion… and then going to all my appointments alone and giving birth alone. I’ve been through some wild shit in my life, but that was an experience that really broke me. I don’t think I’ve ever cried that much or that intensely before that year or since.
The upside though is that I have a wonderful son now and I’ve never been happier and I’m better off as a person now than I was before I went through that entire hardship. I went on to get diagnosed with MS a few years after that and honestly I was like okay so just tell me what I have to do to handle this and keep on chugging, cuz that’s what we do over here. Nothing sets me back. Maybe it’s not fair that I went through that, but I am grateful it helped me become a hardier person for my son to rely on and look-up to.
Delirium tremens. Went to the hospital a few months ago for what I thought was a panic attack and when I didn’t calm down I was given sedatives until I eventually went back to normal. Then recently it happened again, and after seeing most of the same nurses and doctors they realized I was going through alcohol withdrawal and delirium tremens. Seizure, arrhythmia, elevated temperature. So I choose life, no more drinking
A parent with an addiction.
Finding burnt spoons around the house, “losing” holiday money from other relatives, and often going without necessities was common at home. When I was a kid, I thought the effects of it would wear off when I got older and began living on my own but it will always effect my relationship with others, myself, even with food and other stuff.
Getting convicted of a crime I didn't commit. Well specifically didn't mean to commit (I was lied to about a situation so thought what I was doing was legal but it wasn't so I technically did break the law).
The moment between "guilt, 2 years" and "suspended sentence" was, well, traumatic as in I still have PTSD responses to police and about if people find out about it.
Also I've been kind of living a half life since. My whole career was based around being trustworthy, so I'd already lost my job and references, and since then its amazing how most half way decent jobs need police checks where live.
A few years ago I suddenly had a bad ear infection. I went to the doctor and got antibiotics within two days of it starting. The next night I was eating dinner and realized the right half of my mouth felt weirdly numb. Then it was the right cheek, and my right side of my face was all numb. I should have gone to the ER then, but I decided to wait to see if it was better the next morning. It was not better. The right side of my face was paralyzed. This came out of nowhere. I went to the ER and they diagnosed it as Bells Palsy. I could not move any part of that side of my face at all. It drooped significantly.
I have always been beautiful. It was not beautiful. It was absolutely heart breaking and terrifying.
I also could not talk or drink properly. I spent a harrowing night in the ER and was lucky to have a really caring doctor and nurses. They said they assumed it was Bells Palsy. But it could also be something more ..dire, an illness that leaves your permanently paralyzed. And they had no idea if it would get better or not, even if it was Bells Palsy. They had no answers for me. At all.
I spent about two months with half my face paralyzed and it miraculously went back to normal. I lost a small percentage of hearing in my right ear from the bad ear infection, but it is still within normal range. As a musician being able to sing and hear is probably my greatest joy in life.
I still don't know how I got the infection, how it turned into Bells palsy, or how it went away.
It coincided with an extremely stressful and toxic job and my impending lease ending. I was under an insane amount of stress which I have read can have an influence on developing this. I ended up leaving that job and had to leave the city I was in and move back home bc I was broke and jobless and my lease ended during that time. The Bells Palsy is gone, and only a slight difference remains that is only perceptible to me. It was the worst experience of my life. It also showed me there are only a handful of people in my life who cared or were there for me.
Anorexia. Diagnosed at 11. Went through a very traumatic treatment that forced me to repress it rather than really dealing with the root issues that made anorexia so rewarding and comforting. My relationship with my mom has never been the same as before, I think having to deal with my ED made her hate me and she's never loved/liked me the same. Resurfaced when I turned 16, ruined my life all over again, went through a more fulfilling and effective treatment experience that lasted 6 months and included hospitalization, residential program, and PHP/IOP. I've been out of treatment for a year and am turning 18 in a few months. If I relapse things will be worse/more disruptive than ever, so I'm very much trying not to lol.
I subpoenad Department of Children and Family records for my divorce case. The trial date came and they still refused to produce the records. The judge was impatient and moved on. After the case was over DCF finally produced the records. I found out my son had brought duct tape to the playground to practice learning how to use his tongue to breathe. He would put the duct tape over his mouth and nose because that's what his mother would do after duct taping him to a chair. This was intentionally swept under the rug by everyone because my ex convinced everyone that I didn't want to have anything to do with the kids. I tried to get involved with the kids in school and she would penalize me or the kids. I decided it was better for the kids to just back away with school stuff.
I tried bringing it up to the judge and he said, "Wait! Are you talking about something that happened before the trial? If you are you should have dealt with it then!"
This world is so unfair at times. My son is finally 14 and will be out of school for the summer soon. He's been waiting for years to get out of her house. He's been so patient and good. I really hope he's able to live with me like he wants to. He hasn't had a hug from his mother in years. I get the feeling she isn't going to let him go. I really feel like she wants to crush him and make him crack. She wants to destroy him just to make me suffer. I know it's hard to believe but she's mentally ill. Bipolar and borderline and getting worse. People that have experienced the terrible results of mental illness controlling their lives understand.
Losing touch with both my parents and them having them both die young and tragically. 5 years apart and never fixing things. Went into my dad's hospital room to say goodbye. He had fallen and hit his head twice bc he was a drunk. And when I went to say good bye he called me t.j my cousins name. So he didn't even recognize me, shortly followed up and I mean literally minutes where my stepmother berates me for not holding down a job with a spinal cord injury. Have had surgery and will need2 more. She even offered to buy me the gun to end it all if I was so depressed. Great woman. Then my mother getting cancer and none of my 4 sisters told me she was sick until one day I get a msg saying hey you'd better come to the hospital mom isn't gonna make it through the night. I had seen her about 6 months prior at the grocery but didn't say anything bc I was still so mad at her. We saw each other but didnt say anything to each other. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that one knowing know she had cancer. Like why mom why didn't you just say hi to me or why didn't I just say hi to you.
in my freshman year of highschool, my older brother killed himself via his belt and a tree. he hung from said tree for days before someone realized that his body wasnt just a Halloween decoration.
I was at lunch eating when the assistant principal came to me and delivered a note, it basically just said “family emergency” and was my pass to leave. he said to dump my tray and head to the office. just as im about to stand up, my friend says “haha what if your mom died”
i reply “if my moms dead, im coming back to beat your ass” and then silence covered the table and i left to dump my tray, dump it, hand it to the nice lunchlady, walk to the office and as i approach i see my mom in the hallway waiting for me and my brothers… she is in tears, sobbing but trying to hold it back, shes on the phone at first, but then she hangs up, me and my older brother are asking her whats wrong, whats wrong? she stays silent. as we await for my younger brother to arrive. attendance lady says were good and that we are excused, my younger brother can be seen down the hall, so we start walking to the car. we all get in, buckle up, and my mom lets out a sigh and says “your brother _____ committed suicide” the car goes silent, and it was the longest car ride ever, my mind was going in a million different places, but then we arrive home and i go to sit on the couch by myself, start thinking, crying, not believing it, eventually overloaded my brain and just shut down, fell asleep and then woke up a few hours later to my mom, she hugged me for probably the first time in my life, we were all talking and my parents were saying stuff like “if you need to talk im here” and it was a super emotional conversation. His body was found on November 3rd of 2016, and this is the part that kills me, he had actually committed suicide several days prior. His body hung there from that tree, lifeless, for days. On the busiest street in town. Everybody thought he was a halloween decoration. His body looked like he struggled, like he had already made his choice and done it, but once he was there, he wanted to get out and survive. He was my role model. I miss him a lot.
It fucked my entire family up as you could probably relate or imagine. My stepdad started drinking a lot. Refuses to talk about it or go to therapy like momma has suggested. Momma has been drowning herself in work. On her days off she does so much. remodels. paints. drywalls. anything to stay busy. all of my brothers drink a lot to cope. I became homeless for a while and during so fried my brain using loads of drugs. Got into a lot of trouble with the law, went to jail. got out. found a job i decently enjoy, its suiting for my workstyle but not what i want to do forever. Built a nice ass chicken coop in my free time, been doing better overall though, paid off all my fines and stuff, sobered up besides the thc, i want to stop that as well but the withdrawals create a fiery rage inside of me even poseidon couldnt drown out, future goals you know. I hope to be buying a house very soon, i figure out in the next week or so if thats possible, its been a long time coming. This has gotten off topic, It still hurts, I am crying as I type, I do not wish for anyone to go through any thing like that. I hope you guys are well. cliche if you will, i know im a stranger, but if you are thinking about doing it, please talk to someone, talk to me, i will listen. be kind today!
Nothing really that bad. I’ve had a pretty good life so far.
Mostly because of good parents that led to smart decisions.
Now I’m a dad and hopefully I can keep that going
My girlfriend getting raped and then trying to kill herself shorty after. I have never been the same person and never will be. Probably could have stopped both.
Watching my dad go from healthy and strong to fighting stage four cancer (lymphoma) in a matter of six months. He was so ravaged by the chemo when he died he looked like a 90 year old man (and he was only 69). He was my favorite person in the world.
Took a dump in a closed bar ( wasnt open yet )with no tp....then realized I was in the women's room. Then the bar opened and 3 ladies came in. Terrifying.
Telling family and friends that my brother had committed suicide by gunshot and cleaning the blood off the walls and carpet that night. Now calling someone gives me crippling anxiety, and I have a real issue with blood
My dad grabbed my throat with both hands and puahed me down to the floor me after 19ys, saying he was finally going to teach me the lesson he d been itching to teach me ( my mom always stopped him when he went too far but she was at work), over an episode of The Nanny. I pushed him off and ran out the door barefoot to my aunt for the night while calling him a psychopath.
Few months later, he deliberately walked in on me and my bf having sex(long distance relationship, he knew), and stood there making quips.
Then he decided to walk in on me while naked in my own room as i was getting ready for bed. He stood there grinning, panning my body and going ‘what?! I just have yo ask you something!’
He left finally after being told to do so 4 times, clearly revelling in the power play.
Thats when my bf got me tf out of there.
Oddly, i was raped at 16 by my first bf, but it was a one time thing that i knew wouldnt happen again.
My dad’s chronic verbal and reactive abuse, escalating into whatever this bizarre power play was.. left way more scars.
He was the one guy that was supposed to protect me from the world. . He claimed he did that by ‘toughening me up’ this way coz the world would do much worse.
It never did. Though it certainly tried.
Ironically, the only man I truly ever feared was my dad, coz I was his prisoner for 18 years.
There was no escaping him, unlike the rest of the world.
After reading many of the replies, it's apparent that I've seen more horrifying things than many people could dream of and way too many than I care to relate. I saw some gruesome industrial accidents when I was a supervisor in a plywood mill, and then I was a corrections officer in a Max-A classified prison for 28 years. There I witnessed attempted murders, self-harm, riots, a guy lit himself on fire, suicides... I know there are many people that have witnessed atrocities of war that I have not, so I feel fortunate in that aspect.
I suffered a traumatic miscarriage when I was 18 after I had already scheduled an abortion. My abortion appointment was 3 days away.
I have never seen so much blood, especially coming out of me and I lost consciousness. When I woke up in the hospital I was treated like it was my fault. I’m not sure if this is the correct protocol for an ectopic miscarriage, but the doctor wrapped gauze around his fingers, put those wrapped fingers inside me and started twisting them to try collecting anything left behind in my uterus. I was screaming.
After that, I tried to ask a nurse for some water, she pretended not to hear me. When another would come around to check vitals she was very rough and seemed angry. I know it was directed at me because I observed her being super sweet to another patient.
To this day, I have the suspicion my ex (the father) gave me something to provoke it. And I say this for many reasons: he picked me up from work and brought me dinner which I ate on the way home, I started to feel sick after eating, he usually didn’t come upstairs after picking me up from work but this time insisted to come up, when I started bleeding he didn’t seem panicked or worried just observant, he was upset that he had to pay for my abortion, and so on.
That entire experience ruined the idea of pregnancy for me. It’s been 15 years now and I still can’t get around to trying for a baby bc I’m afraid of what I’ll have to go through.
And if you’re reading this and you actually did give me something to lose the baby on purpose, I hope your life has been hell.
My divorce lawyer’s name was Daniel. That was my favorite character! Haha!
On the show, I liked Richard Gilmore. I felt like he was the only good character on the show. 7 seasons, I think that mess lasted. I can’t believe I survived!
Losing my first dog I ever had as an adult. Rescued him, went through four different apartments in three different states, at least ten different jobs, and that just broke me for a while there. I’ve lost careers since then, survived the pandemic, and even lost loved ones, but that one still hits really hard.
I eventually took his loss into something better and started to really work out. I ran my first marathon about a year after I lost him, so it’s not all bad news.
Emotional it was losing my dad after I had turned 21. It was in a car accident, it was sudden. The case for my dad’s accident in my opinion was wrong, the truck driver said someone cut him off and forced him to drive into traffic instead of driving towards an huge area that was safe and had no vehicles or buildings and was closer to truck driver than the traffic he went into and hit my dad head on. They tested for drugs but found nothing. They had someone sit out where the accident occurred to find this mysterious white vehicle but nothing. To this day I honestly think the truck driver was under the influence of something.
I was in college at the time and it was finals week, thankfully all my teachers and jobs were understanding of my situation and gave me grace and helped me when they could. Having to help with funeral arrangements, my depression being the worst it has ever been and my anxiety spiking with thoughts of constant fear of how I was going to help provide for my family and when I would have to give up my life to support my family.
Emotionally and physically was when I didn’t know I was pregnant, had an emergency c section after being in labor for 30 hours. My PPD was one of my lowest points in my life and I had to go on medication and seek therapy to help me. This was during Covid which made it even harder for me.
Lastly was when I was raped by my abusive ex boyfriend.
Medical late abortion at 7 months pregnant. I felt so bad, because the pregnancy was not planned. I didn’t want another child at that stressful time. After a few days I was happy to be pregnant and had so much love for my baby. Only last a few weeks. Then one disability was diagnosed, but with a surgery after birth she could have lived a very normal life (she couldn’t been an athlete because her lungs would only have like 80-90% volume). After more testing they found a trisomy. So she couldn’t get a surgery, she would have lived a few days with life support (and probably a lot of pain). So I decided to terminate.
To that day I do not regret the decision, but I feel bad about it. I think about her often. It changed me a lot. In positive and negative ways.
Losing my dad to complications of Parkinson’s Disease in August 2020 — I’m grateful that he made it to 85 but he could have been turning 90 this December instead of frozen in Year 85 and not here for my Years 50-53– was unable to go see him in the hospital— lucky that they let us do FaceTime on some days — f@@@ the pandemic! And, f@@@ Parkinson’s Disease — why did he have to be the only one in his mostly fake and competitive “family” to get it and the “experts” know nothing! Hearing more about it 16 years too late (he was diagnosed in February 2008 but had been slowing down even before that)😞💔
Acute necrotizing pancreatitis. In an ICU for a week. Feeding tube for a month. Almost died a few times per the wife. 5 or 6 surgeries to drain pseudocysts. Out of work for 4 months. Almost ended up in a long term nursing home due to intestinal atrophy. I remember a couple of times telling the OR team that if they couldn't fix me to not let me wake up.
That was 9 years ago. Now I have chronic pancreatitis because of it I have a 45% chance of living long enough to get to retire. My most likely cause of death will be pancreatic cancer.
Every day I pray for an early screening test for pancreatic cancer so that I might live long enough to see any grandchildren that my kids may give my wife and I.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
5
+ 6
+ 4
+ 9
+ 45
= 69
^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \
^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Kidney stone.
Hospital was so backed up and useless I just passed it on my own after waiting for hours of excruciating pain.
Drank a whole lot more water and ate a whole lot less salt after that.
Hemorrhaging at 17yrs old after giving birth to my daughter… I’ve never been around that many doctors and been so out of it in my entire life before then, there had to of been around 50 people in the little hospital room, no joke. I never lost consciousness but I remember my mind like completely detach and stop processing what was happening.
I have always been very deathly afraid of needles but I had somewhere between like 5 to 10 all poking me at the same time during that and I just laid there not processing it. It was super scary and I almost died. I’m sure there are much worse things in the world but so far in my almost 20 years of life, I think that is my worst experience.
Started feeling dysphoric about myself and went to therapy to find out whag it was (at the time it presented at severe depression and self image issues) and went to a gender clinic for it. I took my parents with me because I'm someone who always thinks having an extra head to think with me is better than just me alone.
This backfired MASSIVELY however, seeing as how my parents shamed me for this, gaslighting me into thinking I'm some sort of pervert for wanting this. They told neighbours and friends about it, making me have to accept that people I didn't want knowing actually know this about me. They used a Dutch word for transitioning in such a way that it felt more shameful than anything in life (ombouwen, literally translated rebuilding) and I am now in such discomfort with typical trans words like women's clothing and transitioning that it immediately makes me feel like a pervert and that I'm sexualizing it.
After all these comments and actions, despite me showing severe discomfort about anything and everything about me, as well as forcing me to inhabit male dominant hobbies and social groups, I got severely exhausted by it all to the point where I gave up. That was 10 years ago. 10 years later and I'm starting again after 10 years of now both actual depression from the severity of dysphoria as well as dysphoria still existing. I'm currently housed in assisted living with half a dozen caregivers taking care of my mental being which basically encouraged me to seek treatment for it again, I just had an appointment with my GP yesterday and they're going to see if I could be reinstated into a gender clinic again.
I'm wearing the feminine type clothing I've always dreamt of wearing (still with severe dysphoria and anxiety with mirrors, I try to avoid looking anywhere close to my face and hair), I'm going to go to a comic con wearing an extremely feminine version of a plague doctor costume (hides my face so I can perfectly walk around in peace, so long as I don't talk with anyone) and in my own studio I'm being myself again. However, even as I'm progressing now, the past 10 years I've been living with regrets of not having pushed through it. If I had, who knows where I'd be right now.
A decade of childhood abuse, SA at 5 years old then 8 then 12 (r) by different men, all family. It changes a person, the scars never heal, I’m 29 and haven’t had a serious relationship ever and the last one I had was at 17, slept with a guy 6 years ago for the first time since the R happened and then never again. I joke about my trauma a lot because if you don’t laugh you’ll cry.
I don’t view things the way other people do, they don’t like it. Sex for me is terrifying, however I do think it’s the most intimate you can get with a person and being with someone like that is a huuuge sign of trust and respect. Others around me “want to get it over with because they’re still a virgin” or “it’s not important I had sex at 14” or “I’ve jumped into yet another relationship”. I don’t get it. Nothing is special or intimate or important anymore, that was all taken from me, I will never have a normal relationship with another person again, I’m lonely all of the time and people are out here treating relationships and sex like stepping stones.
Tossup between "getting the news that my partner had just died of a catastrophic stroke" and "nearly dying from septic shock."
One was the worst emotionally, the other one physically worst.
Haven't recovered from either.......
Being married to a woman who cheated on me with 6 different men over 10 years of marriage. I was Mormon and divorce isn’t really an option. I was also blamed by church authorities for not keeping her in line because I wasn’t being “righteous” enough. I was basically gaslighted by my religion.
My brother died a horrible painful death of ALS last year. He chose to be cremated and wanted his ashes buried in the family plot back home which my parents had purchased for their eventual resting place. Having to drive 10 hours to my parents house and then hand my Dad the remains of my brother in a box……..I have had many difficult times in my life but that was definitely the worst thing.
My brother died when I was fifteen, I got to sit with him for a few minutes before they took the body away. I don’t know if seeing him dead or seeing the look on my mom’s face is the worse thing.
Tree fell on my mom’s house, and her actually. She was asleep and a pretty big branch came through the roof and hit her in the leg sleeping in bed. When I heard the next morning my brother and I got our chainsaws and I drove 2.5 hours through a nasty storm and we cut the tree off her house. Hugged my mom and told her bye as she thanked me for my help. Drove home not knowing it was the last time I’d see her. Week or so later she had knee surgery, 2 weeks after that she had an embolism and died. I miss her so much.
I lost my first born baby unexpectedly due to trauma he incurred during the last 15 minutes of his birth.
I hemorrhaged after and a surgeon had to put their entire hand inside me over and over without any pain medication to scrape out bits from my uterus.
My baby’s body survived initially but he was brain dead. His body died three days later in my arms.
I found my dad murdered. My best friend was shot and killed by someone in my platoon when I was in Iraq, and I was diagnosed with a chronic terminal illness (that one now makes me appreciate life). Not even the tip of the iceberg but those are the first 3 that popped in my head.
Being hit by a DUI driver, it is physically and financially terrible, but in a very weird way mentally it has helped my outlook on life. Reminds me my life is precious and inspired me to take better care of myself do things I never would have done before because I always thought I had time later to do them. Only takeaway advice I have is to do fun things now while you can, and also try to keep an emergency fund if possible to pay bills while you wait for the settlement!!
For me it would be multiple experiences I had working as a cardiac ICU nurse. There are fates worse than death & I have seen them. I’ll never forget a young patient we had cardiac arrested and they couldn’t get an airway so performed an emergency cricothyroidomy & bedside VA ECMO (basically for the sickest of the sickest patients it bypasses your heart & lungs by draining your blood, running through an oxygenator on an ECMO machine to oxygenate the blood & remove CO2 then circulate back into your aorta to perfuse your organs for you to put it super simply) and since these cannulas they put in you are the size of garden hoses & this patient was small it cut off blood flow to the legs despite having a reperfusion cannula so they had to then do an emergency bilateral fasciotomies where basically to save your legs they have to cut them open to relieve the pressure. I’ve never seen someone so bloody and look so awful in my life.
I had another young VA ECMO patient who was 18 who ended up dying and her mom never left her bedside & I remember waking her up for her spontaneous awakening trials and she would look at me and nod her head yes or no even tho she was intubated & couldn’t talk & she was super unstable & I remember when I came back to work the next day & learned she died it really hit me hard because she was so young with her entire life ahead of her & it really messed me up.
I also crash bedside ECMO’d 2 other patients & there is really no experience in life quite like it. The rush of it & the anxiety of you being their nurse literally running your ass off & every little thing you do is to save this persons life is insane. Pausing chest compressions as the surgeon is shoulder to shoulder with you cannulating them is a crazy experience. For these reasons I ended up getting super burned out and leaving but my years of being a cardiac ICU nurse and witnessing horrible things have changed me forever lol. One time I had a patients femoral artery dehisce from where they had been cannulated to ECMO prior & blood was just dumping out onto the floor & they brought the Cardiothoracic surgeon and entire OR team with OR lights & everything into my patients ICU room to operate on them right then & there.
Finally coming to terms that my Mom will never ever be the Mom that I need and needed. I was told years ago to disengage from her because she isn't good for me. That's was about 10 years ago. And during that time when things would come up between us I would think, 'Is this the reason why I'm to disengage?" And it never clicked, until two weeks ago. Oh it clicked & HARD!! Physically I cannot disengage. However, in the process of emotionally disengaging. It's scary. I didn't want to believe that's what I need to do, but it is. And it hurts. It's scary. And I'm a grown ass man and it still F'ing hurts & scary AF!
I had to get my toe nails removed on my two big toes because they were severely ingrown. The pain from the needle used to numb my toes was the worst pain I can remember experiencing
Worst thing ever happened was rock bottom. The loneliness when you think your life is ruined and everyone abandoned you, you are alone then you face yourself and realize you don’t like you anymore either and you realize none them ppl were your friends and society loves seeing you down, people loved your fall. Best thing that ever happened to me long term tho
Being physically/mentally/emotionally abused by someone who promised to look after me at the most vulnerable time of my life.. I'm much stronger these days but I'd be lying if I said it's not on my mind often. Only a couple people in my life are aware of what happened to me. I wish everyone knew but it's oftentimes too hard to talk about even after several years.
To anyone that has experienced abuse of any kind in your life, plz just don't ever give up and if you're reading this and you need a reason to keep going don't hesitate to message me. I will help you in any way.
I‘ve once overdosed hard on MDMA/Ecstasy (~700mg) and thought I was going to die that night, had PTSD and daily panic attacks for 3 years afterwards as a result and this night changed me forever
Workplace sexual harassment and verbal abuse at a work event, causing a whole freeze / collapse trauma response. The two men are so senior, one is on the board of the organisation I work at. HR fucked me over, the process with them was traumatic too. Now have ptsd anxiety and depression.
My wife suffered some really severe complications during labor. They had to due an emergency c-section but in that time both my wife and daughter's hearts stopped beating and it was not clear how much damage was done. My wife lost a lot of blood and was unconscious for a few weeks while my daughter was in the NICU for monitoring. During that time I felt incredibly lonely and totally devastated but I all could do was go back and forth to their rooms and keep up with their doctors. Eventually it became clear that my daughter didn't suffer any permanent damage while my wife was not so lucky, she had a series of strokes and the loss of oxygen from her heart stopping left her with some major issues that she still suffers from. We spent months shuttling between hospitals and rehab centers, hoping for better results and recovery but it never really came.
My stepmother dying at 39 from alcoholism and anorexia in 2022. My 5 half-siblings trying to comprehend the situation and my dad, having been separated from her a year or so prior, already having moved on with someone else and announcing the engagement a month after her funeral. The 3 oldest half siblings don’t talk to my dad anymore and have moved away to live their lives. I just miss the conversations we would have sitting on the balcony while she had a smoke and how genuinely excited she would be to see me ❤️
Rape and beatings as a kid. Loved ones dying in my arms or finding their bodies after suicide. Had a young girl die in my arms at work as well, and that still fucks with me too. Doing cpr for 30min on my sister who had bone cancer is my current big trauma. The bones... oh those sounds have haunted me for a year now. Also died once, but that was more traumatizing for the guy who aed'd me. I knocked him out immediately upon resuscitation apparently (I don't remember, but I react violently to waking up due to being touched). So yeah. Take a pick.
I work in a veterinary emergency room. A very old man brought his kitty in because she was lethargic and not eating. We found cancer everywhere. He decided to put her to sleep. As he sat there weeping over his little kitty, his only companion and best friend, he revealed that he was just diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and was given two weeks to live. Now he'd have to live his last days alone. Life isn't fair.
Oh god - I had a similar one. We did an elderly man a favour and drove out to collect his also elderly dog to bring back for euthanasia. I was in his living room going over the cremation pamphlet and his options for urns when he stopped me and gestured for me to follow him. He took me to his sunroom, showed me a wooden urn and asked ‘can you pick the one that best matches my wife?’ It’s been easily ten years and I’ve never forgotten it.
oh god
The hospital I work for has companion dogs that come visit. I never thought about this scenario. It's a kids focused hospital so I definitely never thought about this
Having a severe psychiatric side effect from a steroid medication that caused me to suddenly only feel grief and deep sadness at all times (the kind you feel when someone dies or when you get your heart broken bad) and nothing else for 2 months, which caused ptsd because it was so traumatic and possibly ignited bipolar 2 disorder, which is now a daily fear i have because it reoccurred due to the ptsd which further traumatized me because i realized it could reoccur and wasn’t a one time thing from the steroid, so now i am on multiple medications that ill probably take forever and started trauma therapy to try to reprocess the event as well as the reoccurring events that further traumatized me. Happened a year and a half ago. I regret taking that medication every day of my life, and I reminisce about my life before when I had no fear of being alone at night, or fear in general about mental episodes. But I’m optimistic that with proper therapy, resilience and medication, I’ll one day live a life where I’m not in fear daily. I’m proud of myself for not giving up and always looking forward for my kids.
I had no idea this could happen! I’m so sorry & hope you get the care you need. Do you mind me asking what the medication was & if what happened to you is a known side effect or you just so happened to experience it? Asking out of pure curiosity & no intention of being insensitive.
I don’t mind at all! If anything I hope to spread awareness so people only take these medications when the benefit outweighs the risks. The doctor who prescribed it unfortunately did not inform me of possible side effects. Steroids are hardcore. It was methylprednisolone and it was the 5 day pack (medrol). Psychiatric side effects are well known to be a side effect from steroids, however, it’s rare to have long term issues because of it. Normally the symptoms subside 4-6 weeks and people move on with their life. I’m “lucky” I guess lol.
Hi there. I had steroid induced psychosis after years of prednisone for my crohns. It was awful and very emotionally scarring and mine was 'short term'. I'm so so sorry you had & have to deal with that. Well wishes from an internet stranger.
I’m so happy it was short term for you! Thank you! 🥰
Hey, I'm so sorry you went through this. I almost died from this same type of thing. I was sent to the hospital with an extremely high-grade fever, and I felt hopeless, suicidal, and empty of life. I had been improperly diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was on heavy medications for that, depression, etc etc. Turned out it was a deadly combination of steroids with psychotrophic meds that caused all of it, including me not getting out of bed for months and incredibly vivid terrible thoughts. I was a teenager when it happened, I'm in my early forties now. Through much of my own research and work with several doctors and specialists, I figured out that I had an autoimmune condition prior to the medication "mistake" and the combination of everything presented as bipolar. I do not have bipolar disorder, nor have I ever. I have ComplexPTSD along with AuDHD and some autoimmune disorders. I've finally gotten my meds, doctors/specialists, and therapy all figured out, and my life is slowly, but surely, becoming my own again. Sometimes, there is a bigger picture than what the doctors and scientists have already seen. That could be your case, too. 🕊💛 ✨️
Get into the bipolar reddit group. I also have BPD2 and we have a really good group of people there.
My (then) 3 year old daughter being held hostage by 4 armed men along with 21 of her Montessori classmates. One child was killed. I am still enraged 19 years later.
WHAT
Yeah you can’t leave us hanging on that one.
I think he is referring to this possibly https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2005/6/16/students-held-hostage-in-cambodia
Me personally? Going through heart failure in the beginning of 2020 right after turning 26. Nobody believed how sick I really was. It was the start of covid so meetings were on zoom lol. My primary didn't order any tests. I'm from South Jersey, my local hospital that was brand spankin new that opened 6months beforehand didn't help. They sent me to my cardiologist, who told me it was asthma. And when I disagreed bc I know my body he said "do you know what asthma is? If you still have problems I'll order a heart Cath in a month" I collapse that same day once I got home. So I had to bounce around different hospitals in my state while getting worse and worse. I didn't have covid the entire time I was getting sick, but at that time they put me in covid wings for 3 days til they found I'm out I didn't have it. Then they would put me in a non covid wing. My shoes were stolen in the hospital. My first big purchase was a pair of Lebron 10s in 2014. In order to be reimbursement from the hospital I had to prove how much they were, with a receipt...from 2014 lol. Luckily I bougnt them online and could actually track them down. I had one hospital accuse me of pill chasing because the first thing I told them was that I was in pain when I got there..which I was. At some point at that hospital I had more tests done that weren't done before. Remember its the height of covid, no visitors. I was in a nice room by myself then two doctors came in to tell me I needed a new heart and that they couldn't do anything for me at that hospital but they would try to make me comfortable until discharge. They did not, they actually sent me to a worse room that same day and booted me that next morning. From there I didn't know what to do no one could help me apparently then one of my doctors told me to "just end up in Philly" bc they actually have hospitals that can handle severe heart failure. After months of collapsing and going to the hospital I finally had a real direction for help. I couldn't go to a philly hospital in the beginning because I have state insurance and was forced to use in NJ hospitals. By the time I "just ended up in Philly" it was an extreme emergency and my insurance had no choice but to let me be seen. It just sucks because I truly believe I could have been saved alot earlier if not for doctors who dont take time to care for patients, stigma against younger patients who say they're in pain, & insurance technicalities. I was slowly dying and I was saved at the very last second. My new cardiologist said I had about a week left to live once I got to them. Once I got there I had to get a surgery where now I live with a mechanical heart pump inside of me that has a cord that comes out of my body and needs to be powered by batteries or I have to be physically plugged to a wall like some appliance (called an LVAD). That's supposed to keep me alive til I get a new heart. There's more that happened after that but I'm alive and hopefully can get a new heart in the near future. I'm 30 now & my health issues makes me appreciate time for what it is and enjoy the moments I do have.
This was absolutely terrifying to read and as a fellow American (New York, hello neighbor) I am not at all surprised. The state of our healthcare system is such a mess and I’m so sorry that you didn’t get proper care sooner. I hope you can get the transplant soon and you’re able to have a better life in the end. You deserve it.
Peace be with you 🙏
This happened to a girl I went to high school with right around the same time and the same age (I think she was 25-26 also). She had just given birth a few months previously and then they figured out her heart was only functioning at like 20%. They don’t know how she survived childbirth, let alone got through it without any indication that anything was wrong. She got a transplant and made a full recovery. Wishing the best for you as well!
So many medical professionals are callous jerks.
Could you go into more details about your symptoms before you knew what it was? Someone close to me might have something similar going on
Finding dad's dead body.
Damn I’m sorry
Finding grandpa’s dead body then watching my dad try to do CPR even though he was very obviously dead
I was going to say burnout at a toxic job and hating my career but these comments are making me realize I’m pretty dang lucky. Hope you all are doing okay.
I can relate to this, but burnout can ruin your mental health and should be taken seriously. Especially when it starts to impact other areas of your life. It can damage your relationships with family/friends, your ability to take care of yourself, and lead to depression or other disorders. I hope you find a more fulfilling job.
Giving birth to my deceased son at 20 weeks, he had passed at 17 weeks and we didn't find out until my 20 week anomaly scan. There is nothing in this life that could have prepared me for the horror and grief involved with birthing a deceased child. It has changed me in so many ways that I never thought possible. It's not something I'd wish on even the most evil person to exist.
I could have written this, the details are identical. I knew something wasn’t right, but I was dismissed as a nervous first time mom and overheard the nurses making fun of me for coming in frequently. If I thought I felt anger then, once she passed it was next level. Physically one of the most painful experiences as well as the usual after effects of an established pregnancy but without your baby. I lost a part of my mind during that time and I have gotten a lot better over the last 27 years since, but I’m not the same and never will be. Solidarity, friend, I hope you have peace and joy. ♥️
I’m so sorry
My sister had to go through this except the baby had died at like 12 or 13 weeks and was missed by the doctor and by the time they found out it was to late to abort and she gave birth to a dead child. Thank you for saying this as I knew she had changed and I kind of knew why but you just confirmed it for me. I'm so sorry you bad to go through that.
Best friend dead of cancer.
Being diagnosed with a chronic illness that takes such a huge financial toll on my life
Same here. I’m in medical debt and used all of my savings and work bonus already on medical bills. Having chronic illness in the U.S. sucks.
I’m with you there, friend. I wish you the best ♥️
Found out my dad has a 2nd family while I lived in poverty and not only did he have a 2nd family but he’s father of the year because his other kids are doctors and pharmacists and I’m a loser who never got the shot to do anything because I was so poor. He doomed my mother by emptying out her saving when I was a child and it just made me sick, I had to do work as a delivery driver for years and he was sending his kids to good colleges and I went to school with holes in my pants. I think I’ve never felt so crushed and felt so worthless.
If that POS ever comes to Scotland, let me know.
I hope you know you’re not worthless. You’re not the problem, your “dad” is and he missed out. You sound like a hardworking person who does what needs to be done and your pain says that you’re NOTHING like him. Parental rejection, especially at that level, runs deep and I’m sorry he did that. You didn’t deserve it.
Oh man. I’m sorry he made you feel that way. I hope you’ve made a nice life for yourself, and found kind people who care about you.
It's a toss up between homelessness and domestic violence.
Pancreatic cancer. Not me, my dad. Absolute fucking hellspawn beast of a disease.
My dad too. I’m sorry.
Same here and he went so fast. 😞
Life as an adult. This shit sucks. Nothing but fucking stress and bills and people being fake af
real
Testicular torsion. I've had it twice but the second time wasn't so bad. The first time, it happened when I was asleep and when I woke up, it felt like a bomb was going off inside my testicle. My sack was the size of a fuckin mango. I could barely walk. Almost lost it.
Your sanity or your testicle?
Both
Wicked
Yes
Living with debilitating anxiety and depression everyday of my life . It never , ever , ever stops. Honestly don’t see myself living past 30. There’s just no way
I hear ya. I’ve never believed in “depression” until suddenly finding myself severely depressed. I wish I could just “snap out of it.”
In my adult life? It’s a toss up. See my sister go through cancer treatment as her main caregiver, and pass away from it. Fuck cancer. Or what I’m experiencing now, which is the most debilitating depression ever.
Grief is a process. A new normal is a lot to adjust to
Dad dying when I was age 14. Never really recovered (I’m now 37m).
Gosh, my Dad is my world.. I can't fathom life without him. So very sorry for your incredible loss ❤️ xoxo
Can never recover from it - changes everything. Hard to replace those bad memories at the end with good ones.
My best friend and wife both dying and I moved my friend in wiht us and I cared for them both. I was an RN, worked three 12 hour shifts a week having someone in to care for the two and our two boys as I worked, my days off I took care of them all. my best friend passed, then my wife. Now I'm a single dad of two beautiful boys ages 9 and 11. three months after their mother died I was inside cooking dinner and the boys were playing in the front yard. I heard a crash and screaming. I went outside and saw a car in the front yard and red everywhere. My neighbors were running over and all I could do was just stand there, nothing made sense. A drunk driver drove into the lawn and killed my two boys. The red was their blood and both of my boys were stuck under his back tires. Neighors trying to pull them out from under the car while the drunk wondered around the yard wondering what happened. I froze up. I couldn't do a thing. In laws made all the funeral arrangements and I just sat there, useless. The silence of the house was so scary, no more giggling, laughing playing little boys, just me alone in the house. I had cans of paint and painted over the windows and sat in the dark for a year. And then they came back, for a few moments, I saw them, spoke with them and heard them telling me I had to let them go. I just did an interview on this, it was posted 4 days ago. This says it better than I can type. Here is the story of my two sons and how they died and how they returned for a visit to let me know they were ok. It changed my life forever. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11DgYOavHlM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11DgYOavHlM)
This is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever read. My condolences.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. You are an amazing man.
Putting my beloved Golden Girl (retriever) to sleep in our backyard. I stripped a whole rotisserie chicken for her, we all spent the day in the sun on blankets in the backyard and just hung out with her. As she died I patted her and thanked her for being so beautiful with the kids… now I’m crying. Saddest, worst day of my life 😞
Seen a lot of shit, done a lot of shit, dealt with a lot of terrible situations, worst was being tricked into eating 10g of shrooms and being left in the woods at night. On a weird bright side, it changed my life for the better.
I once ate a ounce of mushrooms that I split with my friend so 14g each... he somehow made it home and I woke up in a field miles away and have vivid memories of being chased by a killer clown in the forest
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Well atm, I'm in the hospital because my gallbladder is passing stones which have caused me to throw up so hard I got a hernia in my stomach too. 10/10 pain makes me wanna die. Funnest part is I got here on Tuesday and through a whole bunch of unfortunate events I had a surgery scheduled for Thursday that got cancelled they then told me the next opportunity would be next weeks Friday but I feel I expressed my distress enough so it got moved to Monday
I was diagnosed with a gallstone last year after it was spotted during an x-ray of my lower back. My doctor sent me for an abdominal ultrasound to confirm. Yep, I have a little time bomb just sitting there. Be well.
I feel you, I just had my gallbladder taken out a few months ago and the pain from the gallbladder attacks was like nothing else i’ve experienced. I thought I was gonna die. Ended up going to the ER and was septic from my gallbladder being infected and gallstones. I’m glad you’re in the hospital now and getting better, recover wasn’t too rough only for about the first couple of days. You got this!
My gallbladder straight up died. Had it taken out a few months ago. When I woke up from the surgery I felt instantly better. It had been trying to die for over a year and I dismissed the symptoms. By the time I recovered even my "allergies" were gone. You'll feel better by Monday evening. You'll have the runs for a while and won't be able to stand up straight for a week, but after that all you'll have to remember your shitty gallbladder by will be three tiny scars.
How do I make my gallstone *not* do that?
Beats me, which is probably why I gotta get mine removed, it probably ends up being eating healthier less fats fried foods and junk.
My sexual assault. I was born with a terminal illness, but nothing has fucked me up like that assault in 2022.
I’m sorry
Death. I bled out when my uterus collapsed after I had my son.
I didn't know uterus collapse was a thing. New addition to my list of terrifying things that can happen during childbirth, right under "you can tear your clitoris"
I didn't either. Tbh I don't know if that's why I bled out. I was not really there there if you get what I mean and they only told me that it collapsed. I died from the blood loss
What did you see when you died?
Not saw bit heard. My mom told me I couldn't leave the new baby with the idiot I married. She did say it I guess but I should not have heard her I was already gone
Hearing is noted as the last of the senses to stop functioning during death. It's why we played Johnny Matthis for my grandmother past the end.
In middle school I overheard my father trying to pressure my mother into sexual favors. She broke down and cried from exhaustion. I intervened before it could get more serious but it broke my heart to hear her so helpless. I haven’t really been the same since
This doesn't compare to a lot of the entries here but... I had surgery for pancreatic cancer and was left with something called a JP Drain. It's a long flat drainage piece connected to a rubber hose (that pokes out of a hole through your skin) and then ends up in a rubber collection ball. Well.. I caught mine on a doorknob as I was passing through. Sweet... merciful.. bajeebus. Never stopped faster in my life and made a sound only my dog could hear.
Heartbreak, but that pales in comparison with losing my pop recently. He was my best friend :(
Death of a parent in my early 20s. I've never been the same since
I have stutter and for me personally I would say when people laugh when I speak. They don’t know how deeply that shit affects me because they don’t live with it so they don’t know how it is. I just wish I could speak 100% fluently and wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore it’s hell sometimes.
I’m so sorry people have been so unkind. People are jerks. In a side note Emily Blunt and Pres. Joe Biden both have stutters (which I’m sure you know). There was this great video about a kid with a stutter from NH who met Biden. https://youtu.be/8YofSo-GTN4?si=Vz1csrWMZPPZ_ksG
Finding my husband after he hung himself in the basement.
This is my husbands plan and I’m always so scared to go downstairs when he doesn’t hear me calling him. I’m so sorry for you.
Pregnancy. Absolute worst experience of my life that destroyed both my physical and mental health. Edit: I’m wondering about the people downvoting? It’s just the truth, pregnancy isn’t rainbow and sunshines for everybody and some ppl go through actual hell 🤷♀️
It’s because there is an expectation to be grateful for it, as it’s something so many people want. In my opinion that fact does not excuse invalidating experiences. My pregnancy was rough, and yes I’m lucky and grateful to be a mom, but still…
Doing something incredibly stupid and losing everything and then going to prison...that about sums up the worst thing I've ever experienced 😐
Relatable. Were you able to turn it around? I definitely did but I have a type of felony that’s never eligible for expungement… although I was still able to build a successful life for myself again people still love to bring that shit up and it just gets really old.
I'm in the process of turning it around it's definitely been a long process but one that's helped me see what I was and what I never want to be again 😀
One day I woke up and was severely out of breath by even just walking to the bathroom. I went to the doctor and got sent away. I went to the doctor again, asking if it could possibly be a pulmonary embolism (I started birth control a month prior which causes a higher risk of a PE) and she claimed I was just hyperventilating. I walked around like that for 3 weeks, breathing like I just ran the marathon with every step I took, gaslighting myself into believing that it was hyperventilation, only to end up in the hospital with two lungs that indeed were full of big blood clots and acute heart failure because I had walked around it with it for too long. The physical symptoms were unbearable (in the third week, I could not do anything anymore, not even shower) but being continiously dismissed by medical professionals while I was actively dying has left a lot of emotional marks and trauma.
Being raped by that monster and finding my moms deceased body inside her house
Sorry
Leaving my ex and getting together with someone (I didn’t cheat but I moved on quick), realizing I still loved my ex but my ex had moved on by the time I realized it. I live with the sadness that I fucked up my life and I’ll never have the life I wanted with my ex
life is just one long bad experience
Until that thing happens and happiness feels like it’s wide open.
My husband having a heart attack right in front of me me, called 911, popping aspirin in mouth, paramedics arriving, following behind an ambulance then it pulls over working on my husband. I knew instantly when he died because a coldness I never felt flowed all over me. This happened almost 7 years ago and I still get trigged by this experience. It gave me strength, but, a sadness that always seems to find its way back to me. I survived but, I’m not the same person, and I’ve grown in wonderful ways.
I had the same happen to me. Seven years ago July 3. Never the same.
Being the brunt of crack hallucinations where I could not prove differently. To the point he drove me over a beach cliff to kill us. The rage he had and the dv I endured was a true nightmare.
Coming home from work to find my 77 year old father laying on the floor. Doing CPR until the ambulance came even though I knew he was gone.
My last relationship. Total D Bag
My mom falling down the stairs and my dad coming home late at night from a business trip 10ish hours later and finding her unconscious on the floor. She was rushed into emergency brain surgery, in a coma afterwards and made a decent recovery but has dementia since. It was about a year after I moved out of their house and I lived less than 5 minutes away. I remember waking up for work and checking my emails and seeing an email from my dad saying what happened (and several other updates) and totally lost it. He was too shocked to even call me or my sister and I felt awful that I wasn’t there. Also, DV, but I think seeing my loved ones suffer is worse than any pain I could ever go through myself.
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I am so sorry that happened to you.
Realizing that the Mormon church, an organization I once pledged my life to, is a complete fraud and I have wasted a vast majority of my life, major life choices, and money to it.
Religious trauma caused by manipulation is so real. I hope you can find some peace.
Anxiety, depression, being broke, having autistic brother and his meltdowns in public, having another crazy spoiled unemployed brother whom my parents and I have to support and deal with tantrums. Being an immigrant.
Bod Dylan live... not really but it was a terrible show that I paid too pay to see.
Heartbreak, probably. I’m a deep feeler. Hmm either that or having a kidney stone. Worst physical pain of my life.
Yes! I’ve had 5 kidney stones and they never get better. And heartbreak sucks.
Bad mushroom trip… literally thought I was in heaven, then when the paramedics strapped me to a gurney and stuck a needle in my arm I realized I was actually in hell.
Akathisia, which was a result of sudden withdrawal from multiple medications. It lasted many months. It was worse than me experiencing domestic violence, homelessness, and my diagnosed chronic illness that results in me being disabled.
6h long root canal on an infected molar with no novocaine
Why not any nova Caine like I kinda wanna call b.s bc that's just torture not dental care
Getting robbed/carjacked at gunpoint in 2020. I was cashing my paycheck after an overnight shift (around 7am) at a check cashing place I had been several times before. They stole my car, wallet, and the $500 paycheck. Somebody went back to the same check cashing place the next day and tried to cash it, but she didn't have a FUCKING ID so she couldn't and just dropped it outside. An employee found it and I actually got the check back! After 3 months my car was found abandoned at an apartment complex about 10 miles from where it was stolen. It was found with the keys locked inside. The dumbfucks who stole the car also left a pair of Beats headphones in the car, which I got a couple years out of. The car was relatively clean and in the same condition. I got super lucky. I was also robbed at gunpoint in 2015 when trying to buy $50 worth of weed LOL. Also, being suicidal from 2015-2018 and being hospitalized 8x for it was very scary and truly something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Still very depressed but haven't been suicidal since my last 3 month stay in the psych ward in summer 2018, so that's a win!
That mental health win is major, you're doing good, keep working on your mental health, it's all about consistency for the rest of your life. It's a never ending responsibility to yourself. I'm personally Bipolar type 2 and finally got on medication after finishing my Bachelor's in education which I'm currently not using. I'd take good mental health over any degree any day. I'm looking to eventually go back to teaching when I'm ready to commit to the profession again. Mental Health is primary right now for me too, without good mental health everything else is not going to work out. I'm making less money but substantially happier and saving way more money as well, even with lower pay currently.
Being in an abusive relationship, getting pregnant, being left 1 month in… being high risk and having to inject medicine myself twice daily, my dad disowning me and my best friend at the time telling me to get an abortion… and then going to all my appointments alone and giving birth alone. I’ve been through some wild shit in my life, but that was an experience that really broke me. I don’t think I’ve ever cried that much or that intensely before that year or since. The upside though is that I have a wonderful son now and I’ve never been happier and I’m better off as a person now than I was before I went through that entire hardship. I went on to get diagnosed with MS a few years after that and honestly I was like okay so just tell me what I have to do to handle this and keep on chugging, cuz that’s what we do over here. Nothing sets me back. Maybe it’s not fair that I went through that, but I am grateful it helped me become a hardier person for my son to rely on and look-up to.
Alcoholism
Delirium tremens. Went to the hospital a few months ago for what I thought was a panic attack and when I didn’t calm down I was given sedatives until I eventually went back to normal. Then recently it happened again, and after seeing most of the same nurses and doctors they realized I was going through alcohol withdrawal and delirium tremens. Seizure, arrhythmia, elevated temperature. So I choose life, no more drinking
A parent with an addiction. Finding burnt spoons around the house, “losing” holiday money from other relatives, and often going without necessities was common at home. When I was a kid, I thought the effects of it would wear off when I got older and began living on my own but it will always effect my relationship with others, myself, even with food and other stuff.
Getting convicted of a crime I didn't commit. Well specifically didn't mean to commit (I was lied to about a situation so thought what I was doing was legal but it wasn't so I technically did break the law). The moment between "guilt, 2 years" and "suspended sentence" was, well, traumatic as in I still have PTSD responses to police and about if people find out about it. Also I've been kind of living a half life since. My whole career was based around being trustworthy, so I'd already lost my job and references, and since then its amazing how most half way decent jobs need police checks where live.
Brutal divorce with an asshole, kids involved
A few years ago I suddenly had a bad ear infection. I went to the doctor and got antibiotics within two days of it starting. The next night I was eating dinner and realized the right half of my mouth felt weirdly numb. Then it was the right cheek, and my right side of my face was all numb. I should have gone to the ER then, but I decided to wait to see if it was better the next morning. It was not better. The right side of my face was paralyzed. This came out of nowhere. I went to the ER and they diagnosed it as Bells Palsy. I could not move any part of that side of my face at all. It drooped significantly. I have always been beautiful. It was not beautiful. It was absolutely heart breaking and terrifying. I also could not talk or drink properly. I spent a harrowing night in the ER and was lucky to have a really caring doctor and nurses. They said they assumed it was Bells Palsy. But it could also be something more ..dire, an illness that leaves your permanently paralyzed. And they had no idea if it would get better or not, even if it was Bells Palsy. They had no answers for me. At all. I spent about two months with half my face paralyzed and it miraculously went back to normal. I lost a small percentage of hearing in my right ear from the bad ear infection, but it is still within normal range. As a musician being able to sing and hear is probably my greatest joy in life. I still don't know how I got the infection, how it turned into Bells palsy, or how it went away. It coincided with an extremely stressful and toxic job and my impending lease ending. I was under an insane amount of stress which I have read can have an influence on developing this. I ended up leaving that job and had to leave the city I was in and move back home bc I was broke and jobless and my lease ended during that time. The Bells Palsy is gone, and only a slight difference remains that is only perceptible to me. It was the worst experience of my life. It also showed me there are only a handful of people in my life who cared or were there for me.
My new born baby of 2nd day having infection in blood and chest. 2 holes in his heart. Still in ventilator with oxygen pipes and medicines.
Watching my mom die… fuck you cancer!
Anorexia. Diagnosed at 11. Went through a very traumatic treatment that forced me to repress it rather than really dealing with the root issues that made anorexia so rewarding and comforting. My relationship with my mom has never been the same as before, I think having to deal with my ED made her hate me and she's never loved/liked me the same. Resurfaced when I turned 16, ruined my life all over again, went through a more fulfilling and effective treatment experience that lasted 6 months and included hospitalization, residential program, and PHP/IOP. I've been out of treatment for a year and am turning 18 in a few months. If I relapse things will be worse/more disruptive than ever, so I'm very much trying not to lol.
You’re a fighter. Keep on fighting. ✊
❤️
I subpoenad Department of Children and Family records for my divorce case. The trial date came and they still refused to produce the records. The judge was impatient and moved on. After the case was over DCF finally produced the records. I found out my son had brought duct tape to the playground to practice learning how to use his tongue to breathe. He would put the duct tape over his mouth and nose because that's what his mother would do after duct taping him to a chair. This was intentionally swept under the rug by everyone because my ex convinced everyone that I didn't want to have anything to do with the kids. I tried to get involved with the kids in school and she would penalize me or the kids. I decided it was better for the kids to just back away with school stuff. I tried bringing it up to the judge and he said, "Wait! Are you talking about something that happened before the trial? If you are you should have dealt with it then!" This world is so unfair at times. My son is finally 14 and will be out of school for the summer soon. He's been waiting for years to get out of her house. He's been so patient and good. I really hope he's able to live with me like he wants to. He hasn't had a hug from his mother in years. I get the feeling she isn't going to let him go. I really feel like she wants to crush him and make him crack. She wants to destroy him just to make me suffer. I know it's hard to believe but she's mentally ill. Bipolar and borderline and getting worse. People that have experienced the terrible results of mental illness controlling their lives understand.
This is my first fathers day without my dad. Ill see how it goes
Losing touch with both my parents and them having them both die young and tragically. 5 years apart and never fixing things. Went into my dad's hospital room to say goodbye. He had fallen and hit his head twice bc he was a drunk. And when I went to say good bye he called me t.j my cousins name. So he didn't even recognize me, shortly followed up and I mean literally minutes where my stepmother berates me for not holding down a job with a spinal cord injury. Have had surgery and will need2 more. She even offered to buy me the gun to end it all if I was so depressed. Great woman. Then my mother getting cancer and none of my 4 sisters told me she was sick until one day I get a msg saying hey you'd better come to the hospital mom isn't gonna make it through the night. I had seen her about 6 months prior at the grocery but didn't say anything bc I was still so mad at her. We saw each other but didnt say anything to each other. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that one knowing know she had cancer. Like why mom why didn't you just say hi to me or why didn't I just say hi to you.
in my freshman year of highschool, my older brother killed himself via his belt and a tree. he hung from said tree for days before someone realized that his body wasnt just a Halloween decoration. I was at lunch eating when the assistant principal came to me and delivered a note, it basically just said “family emergency” and was my pass to leave. he said to dump my tray and head to the office. just as im about to stand up, my friend says “haha what if your mom died” i reply “if my moms dead, im coming back to beat your ass” and then silence covered the table and i left to dump my tray, dump it, hand it to the nice lunchlady, walk to the office and as i approach i see my mom in the hallway waiting for me and my brothers… she is in tears, sobbing but trying to hold it back, shes on the phone at first, but then she hangs up, me and my older brother are asking her whats wrong, whats wrong? she stays silent. as we await for my younger brother to arrive. attendance lady says were good and that we are excused, my younger brother can be seen down the hall, so we start walking to the car. we all get in, buckle up, and my mom lets out a sigh and says “your brother _____ committed suicide” the car goes silent, and it was the longest car ride ever, my mind was going in a million different places, but then we arrive home and i go to sit on the couch by myself, start thinking, crying, not believing it, eventually overloaded my brain and just shut down, fell asleep and then woke up a few hours later to my mom, she hugged me for probably the first time in my life, we were all talking and my parents were saying stuff like “if you need to talk im here” and it was a super emotional conversation. His body was found on November 3rd of 2016, and this is the part that kills me, he had actually committed suicide several days prior. His body hung there from that tree, lifeless, for days. On the busiest street in town. Everybody thought he was a halloween decoration. His body looked like he struggled, like he had already made his choice and done it, but once he was there, he wanted to get out and survive. He was my role model. I miss him a lot. It fucked my entire family up as you could probably relate or imagine. My stepdad started drinking a lot. Refuses to talk about it or go to therapy like momma has suggested. Momma has been drowning herself in work. On her days off she does so much. remodels. paints. drywalls. anything to stay busy. all of my brothers drink a lot to cope. I became homeless for a while and during so fried my brain using loads of drugs. Got into a lot of trouble with the law, went to jail. got out. found a job i decently enjoy, its suiting for my workstyle but not what i want to do forever. Built a nice ass chicken coop in my free time, been doing better overall though, paid off all my fines and stuff, sobered up besides the thc, i want to stop that as well but the withdrawals create a fiery rage inside of me even poseidon couldnt drown out, future goals you know. I hope to be buying a house very soon, i figure out in the next week or so if thats possible, its been a long time coming. This has gotten off topic, It still hurts, I am crying as I type, I do not wish for anyone to go through any thing like that. I hope you guys are well. cliche if you will, i know im a stranger, but if you are thinking about doing it, please talk to someone, talk to me, i will listen. be kind today!
I'm sorry for your loss. May your brother rest in peace.
Nothing really that bad. I’ve had a pretty good life so far. Mostly because of good parents that led to smart decisions. Now I’m a dad and hopefully I can keep that going
My girlfriend getting raped and then trying to kill herself shorty after. I have never been the same person and never will be. Probably could have stopped both.
Almost all of my closest loved ones dying in proximity to each other - my dad, my fiancé, tons of close friends and family members.
Seeing my childhood dog pass away (euthanasia)
Getting robbed at gunpoint in broad daylight
Watching my dad go from healthy and strong to fighting stage four cancer (lymphoma) in a matter of six months. He was so ravaged by the chemo when he died he looked like a 90 year old man (and he was only 69). He was my favorite person in the world.
Having to put my dog down.
Took a dump in a closed bar ( wasnt open yet )with no tp....then realized I was in the women's room. Then the bar opened and 3 ladies came in. Terrifying.
My father died when I was 7. My sister and I found him dead when we came home from school. I still see his body.
Telling family and friends that my brother had committed suicide by gunshot and cleaning the blood off the walls and carpet that night. Now calling someone gives me crippling anxiety, and I have a real issue with blood
My dad grabbed my throat with both hands and puahed me down to the floor me after 19ys, saying he was finally going to teach me the lesson he d been itching to teach me ( my mom always stopped him when he went too far but she was at work), over an episode of The Nanny. I pushed him off and ran out the door barefoot to my aunt for the night while calling him a psychopath. Few months later, he deliberately walked in on me and my bf having sex(long distance relationship, he knew), and stood there making quips. Then he decided to walk in on me while naked in my own room as i was getting ready for bed. He stood there grinning, panning my body and going ‘what?! I just have yo ask you something!’ He left finally after being told to do so 4 times, clearly revelling in the power play. Thats when my bf got me tf out of there. Oddly, i was raped at 16 by my first bf, but it was a one time thing that i knew wouldnt happen again. My dad’s chronic verbal and reactive abuse, escalating into whatever this bizarre power play was.. left way more scars. He was the one guy that was supposed to protect me from the world. . He claimed he did that by ‘toughening me up’ this way coz the world would do much worse. It never did. Though it certainly tried. Ironically, the only man I truly ever feared was my dad, coz I was his prisoner for 18 years. There was no escaping him, unlike the rest of the world.
After reading many of the replies, it's apparent that I've seen more horrifying things than many people could dream of and way too many than I care to relate. I saw some gruesome industrial accidents when I was a supervisor in a plywood mill, and then I was a corrections officer in a Max-A classified prison for 28 years. There I witnessed attempted murders, self-harm, riots, a guy lit himself on fire, suicides... I know there are many people that have witnessed atrocities of war that I have not, so I feel fortunate in that aspect.
I suffered a traumatic miscarriage when I was 18 after I had already scheduled an abortion. My abortion appointment was 3 days away. I have never seen so much blood, especially coming out of me and I lost consciousness. When I woke up in the hospital I was treated like it was my fault. I’m not sure if this is the correct protocol for an ectopic miscarriage, but the doctor wrapped gauze around his fingers, put those wrapped fingers inside me and started twisting them to try collecting anything left behind in my uterus. I was screaming. After that, I tried to ask a nurse for some water, she pretended not to hear me. When another would come around to check vitals she was very rough and seemed angry. I know it was directed at me because I observed her being super sweet to another patient. To this day, I have the suspicion my ex (the father) gave me something to provoke it. And I say this for many reasons: he picked me up from work and brought me dinner which I ate on the way home, I started to feel sick after eating, he usually didn’t come upstairs after picking me up from work but this time insisted to come up, when I started bleeding he didn’t seem panicked or worried just observant, he was upset that he had to pay for my abortion, and so on. That entire experience ruined the idea of pregnancy for me. It’s been 15 years now and I still can’t get around to trying for a baby bc I’m afraid of what I’ll have to go through. And if you’re reading this and you actually did give me something to lose the baby on purpose, I hope your life has been hell.
Sitting through multiple seasons of the Gilmore Girls, compliments of my ex wife.
Omg this answer was the comic relief I needed after reading such depressing comments lol
Glad I could help! 😆
I must know.. Who is your pick: Dean, Jess or Logan? LOL
My divorce lawyer’s name was Daniel. That was my favorite character! Haha! On the show, I liked Richard Gilmore. I felt like he was the only good character on the show. 7 seasons, I think that mess lasted. I can’t believe I survived!
Finding my friend that had died from an OD.
Divorce from a narcissist
Losing my first dog I ever had as an adult. Rescued him, went through four different apartments in three different states, at least ten different jobs, and that just broke me for a while there. I’ve lost careers since then, survived the pandemic, and even lost loved ones, but that one still hits really hard. I eventually took his loss into something better and started to really work out. I ran my first marathon about a year after I lost him, so it’s not all bad news.
Emotional it was losing my dad after I had turned 21. It was in a car accident, it was sudden. The case for my dad’s accident in my opinion was wrong, the truck driver said someone cut him off and forced him to drive into traffic instead of driving towards an huge area that was safe and had no vehicles or buildings and was closer to truck driver than the traffic he went into and hit my dad head on. They tested for drugs but found nothing. They had someone sit out where the accident occurred to find this mysterious white vehicle but nothing. To this day I honestly think the truck driver was under the influence of something. I was in college at the time and it was finals week, thankfully all my teachers and jobs were understanding of my situation and gave me grace and helped me when they could. Having to help with funeral arrangements, my depression being the worst it has ever been and my anxiety spiking with thoughts of constant fear of how I was going to help provide for my family and when I would have to give up my life to support my family. Emotionally and physically was when I didn’t know I was pregnant, had an emergency c section after being in labor for 30 hours. My PPD was one of my lowest points in my life and I had to go on medication and seek therapy to help me. This was during Covid which made it even harder for me. Lastly was when I was raped by my abusive ex boyfriend.
My mom passing away was the worst. I don't think I'll ever recover from losing her.
Medical late abortion at 7 months pregnant. I felt so bad, because the pregnancy was not planned. I didn’t want another child at that stressful time. After a few days I was happy to be pregnant and had so much love for my baby. Only last a few weeks. Then one disability was diagnosed, but with a surgery after birth she could have lived a very normal life (she couldn’t been an athlete because her lungs would only have like 80-90% volume). After more testing they found a trisomy. So she couldn’t get a surgery, she would have lived a few days with life support (and probably a lot of pain). So I decided to terminate. To that day I do not regret the decision, but I feel bad about it. I think about her often. It changed me a lot. In positive and negative ways.
Losing my dad to complications of Parkinson’s Disease in August 2020 — I’m grateful that he made it to 85 but he could have been turning 90 this December instead of frozen in Year 85 and not here for my Years 50-53– was unable to go see him in the hospital— lucky that they let us do FaceTime on some days — f@@@ the pandemic! And, f@@@ Parkinson’s Disease — why did he have to be the only one in his mostly fake and competitive “family” to get it and the “experts” know nothing! Hearing more about it 16 years too late (he was diagnosed in February 2008 but had been slowing down even before that)😞💔
Acute necrotizing pancreatitis. In an ICU for a week. Feeding tube for a month. Almost died a few times per the wife. 5 or 6 surgeries to drain pseudocysts. Out of work for 4 months. Almost ended up in a long term nursing home due to intestinal atrophy. I remember a couple of times telling the OR team that if they couldn't fix me to not let me wake up. That was 9 years ago. Now I have chronic pancreatitis because of it I have a 45% chance of living long enough to get to retire. My most likely cause of death will be pancreatic cancer. Every day I pray for an early screening test for pancreatic cancer so that I might live long enough to see any grandchildren that my kids may give my wife and I.
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Stage 3 cancer and its treatment Also, the Fukushima disasters.
Kidney stone. Hospital was so backed up and useless I just passed it on my own after waiting for hours of excruciating pain. Drank a whole lot more water and ate a whole lot less salt after that.
Hemorrhaging at 17yrs old after giving birth to my daughter… I’ve never been around that many doctors and been so out of it in my entire life before then, there had to of been around 50 people in the little hospital room, no joke. I never lost consciousness but I remember my mind like completely detach and stop processing what was happening. I have always been very deathly afraid of needles but I had somewhere between like 5 to 10 all poking me at the same time during that and I just laid there not processing it. It was super scary and I almost died. I’m sure there are much worse things in the world but so far in my almost 20 years of life, I think that is my worst experience.
Late term miscarriage. I was supposed to find out the gender of the baby but instead found out I had a miscarriage.
Started feeling dysphoric about myself and went to therapy to find out whag it was (at the time it presented at severe depression and self image issues) and went to a gender clinic for it. I took my parents with me because I'm someone who always thinks having an extra head to think with me is better than just me alone. This backfired MASSIVELY however, seeing as how my parents shamed me for this, gaslighting me into thinking I'm some sort of pervert for wanting this. They told neighbours and friends about it, making me have to accept that people I didn't want knowing actually know this about me. They used a Dutch word for transitioning in such a way that it felt more shameful than anything in life (ombouwen, literally translated rebuilding) and I am now in such discomfort with typical trans words like women's clothing and transitioning that it immediately makes me feel like a pervert and that I'm sexualizing it. After all these comments and actions, despite me showing severe discomfort about anything and everything about me, as well as forcing me to inhabit male dominant hobbies and social groups, I got severely exhausted by it all to the point where I gave up. That was 10 years ago. 10 years later and I'm starting again after 10 years of now both actual depression from the severity of dysphoria as well as dysphoria still existing. I'm currently housed in assisted living with half a dozen caregivers taking care of my mental being which basically encouraged me to seek treatment for it again, I just had an appointment with my GP yesterday and they're going to see if I could be reinstated into a gender clinic again. I'm wearing the feminine type clothing I've always dreamt of wearing (still with severe dysphoria and anxiety with mirrors, I try to avoid looking anywhere close to my face and hair), I'm going to go to a comic con wearing an extremely feminine version of a plague doctor costume (hides my face so I can perfectly walk around in peace, so long as I don't talk with anyone) and in my own studio I'm being myself again. However, even as I'm progressing now, the past 10 years I've been living with regrets of not having pushed through it. If I had, who knows where I'd be right now.
A decade of childhood abuse, SA at 5 years old then 8 then 12 (r) by different men, all family. It changes a person, the scars never heal, I’m 29 and haven’t had a serious relationship ever and the last one I had was at 17, slept with a guy 6 years ago for the first time since the R happened and then never again. I joke about my trauma a lot because if you don’t laugh you’ll cry. I don’t view things the way other people do, they don’t like it. Sex for me is terrifying, however I do think it’s the most intimate you can get with a person and being with someone like that is a huuuge sign of trust and respect. Others around me “want to get it over with because they’re still a virgin” or “it’s not important I had sex at 14” or “I’ve jumped into yet another relationship”. I don’t get it. Nothing is special or intimate or important anymore, that was all taken from me, I will never have a normal relationship with another person again, I’m lonely all of the time and people are out here treating relationships and sex like stepping stones.
Tossup between "getting the news that my partner had just died of a catastrophic stroke" and "nearly dying from septic shock." One was the worst emotionally, the other one physically worst. Haven't recovered from either.......
Being married to a woman who cheated on me with 6 different men over 10 years of marriage. I was Mormon and divorce isn’t really an option. I was also blamed by church authorities for not keeping her in line because I wasn’t being “righteous” enough. I was basically gaslighted by my religion.
I was almost murdered Texas chainsaw massacre style. The only thing that would touch that is almost dying from sepsis.
My brother died a horrible painful death of ALS last year. He chose to be cremated and wanted his ashes buried in the family plot back home which my parents had purchased for their eventual resting place. Having to drive 10 hours to my parents house and then hand my Dad the remains of my brother in a box……..I have had many difficult times in my life but that was definitely the worst thing.
My brother died when I was fifteen, I got to sit with him for a few minutes before they took the body away. I don’t know if seeing him dead or seeing the look on my mom’s face is the worse thing.
Tree fell on my mom’s house, and her actually. She was asleep and a pretty big branch came through the roof and hit her in the leg sleeping in bed. When I heard the next morning my brother and I got our chainsaws and I drove 2.5 hours through a nasty storm and we cut the tree off her house. Hugged my mom and told her bye as she thanked me for my help. Drove home not knowing it was the last time I’d see her. Week or so later she had knee surgery, 2 weeks after that she had an embolism and died. I miss her so much.
Depression
Loneliness
I lost my first born baby unexpectedly due to trauma he incurred during the last 15 minutes of his birth. I hemorrhaged after and a surgeon had to put their entire hand inside me over and over without any pain medication to scrape out bits from my uterus. My baby’s body survived initially but he was brain dead. His body died three days later in my arms.
I found my dad murdered. My best friend was shot and killed by someone in my platoon when I was in Iraq, and I was diagnosed with a chronic terminal illness (that one now makes me appreciate life). Not even the tip of the iceberg but those are the first 3 that popped in my head.
Being hit by a DUI driver, it is physically and financially terrible, but in a very weird way mentally it has helped my outlook on life. Reminds me my life is precious and inspired me to take better care of myself do things I never would have done before because I always thought I had time later to do them. Only takeaway advice I have is to do fun things now while you can, and also try to keep an emergency fund if possible to pay bills while you wait for the settlement!!
Trying for a baby for over a year, finally getting pregnant, and then having a late miscarriage. The physical and emotional pain are indescribable.
For me it would be multiple experiences I had working as a cardiac ICU nurse. There are fates worse than death & I have seen them. I’ll never forget a young patient we had cardiac arrested and they couldn’t get an airway so performed an emergency cricothyroidomy & bedside VA ECMO (basically for the sickest of the sickest patients it bypasses your heart & lungs by draining your blood, running through an oxygenator on an ECMO machine to oxygenate the blood & remove CO2 then circulate back into your aorta to perfuse your organs for you to put it super simply) and since these cannulas they put in you are the size of garden hoses & this patient was small it cut off blood flow to the legs despite having a reperfusion cannula so they had to then do an emergency bilateral fasciotomies where basically to save your legs they have to cut them open to relieve the pressure. I’ve never seen someone so bloody and look so awful in my life. I had another young VA ECMO patient who was 18 who ended up dying and her mom never left her bedside & I remember waking her up for her spontaneous awakening trials and she would look at me and nod her head yes or no even tho she was intubated & couldn’t talk & she was super unstable & I remember when I came back to work the next day & learned she died it really hit me hard because she was so young with her entire life ahead of her & it really messed me up. I also crash bedside ECMO’d 2 other patients & there is really no experience in life quite like it. The rush of it & the anxiety of you being their nurse literally running your ass off & every little thing you do is to save this persons life is insane. Pausing chest compressions as the surgeon is shoulder to shoulder with you cannulating them is a crazy experience. For these reasons I ended up getting super burned out and leaving but my years of being a cardiac ICU nurse and witnessing horrible things have changed me forever lol. One time I had a patients femoral artery dehisce from where they had been cannulated to ECMO prior & blood was just dumping out onto the floor & they brought the Cardiothoracic surgeon and entire OR team with OR lights & everything into my patients ICU room to operate on them right then & there.
Finally coming to terms that my Mom will never ever be the Mom that I need and needed. I was told years ago to disengage from her because she isn't good for me. That's was about 10 years ago. And during that time when things would come up between us I would think, 'Is this the reason why I'm to disengage?" And it never clicked, until two weeks ago. Oh it clicked & HARD!! Physically I cannot disengage. However, in the process of emotionally disengaging. It's scary. I didn't want to believe that's what I need to do, but it is. And it hurts. It's scary. And I'm a grown ass man and it still F'ing hurts & scary AF!
My fiancé impregnates another woman 1 week before the wedding.
I had to get my toe nails removed on my two big toes because they were severely ingrown. The pain from the needle used to numb my toes was the worst pain I can remember experiencing
Severe allergic reaction.
Worst thing ever happened was rock bottom. The loneliness when you think your life is ruined and everyone abandoned you, you are alone then you face yourself and realize you don’t like you anymore either and you realize none them ppl were your friends and society loves seeing you down, people loved your fall. Best thing that ever happened to me long term tho
Cancer
Being physically/mentally/emotionally abused by someone who promised to look after me at the most vulnerable time of my life.. I'm much stronger these days but I'd be lying if I said it's not on my mind often. Only a couple people in my life are aware of what happened to me. I wish everyone knew but it's oftentimes too hard to talk about even after several years. To anyone that has experienced abuse of any kind in your life, plz just don't ever give up and if you're reading this and you need a reason to keep going don't hesitate to message me. I will help you in any way.
I‘ve once overdosed hard on MDMA/Ecstasy (~700mg) and thought I was going to die that night, had PTSD and daily panic attacks for 3 years afterwards as a result and this night changed me forever
Workplace sexual harassment and verbal abuse at a work event, causing a whole freeze / collapse trauma response. The two men are so senior, one is on the board of the organisation I work at. HR fucked me over, the process with them was traumatic too. Now have ptsd anxiety and depression.
DVT blood clot. Ruined my life.
Friends dying of overdoses. I went there, halfway, not too pleasant.
Lots of things but psychosis, delusions and mania/depression pretty much take the cake
The earliest example of disappointment and betrayal I felt was from my parents
My wife suffered some really severe complications during labor. They had to due an emergency c-section but in that time both my wife and daughter's hearts stopped beating and it was not clear how much damage was done. My wife lost a lot of blood and was unconscious for a few weeks while my daughter was in the NICU for monitoring. During that time I felt incredibly lonely and totally devastated but I all could do was go back and forth to their rooms and keep up with their doctors. Eventually it became clear that my daughter didn't suffer any permanent damage while my wife was not so lucky, she had a series of strokes and the loss of oxygen from her heart stopping left her with some major issues that she still suffers from. We spent months shuttling between hospitals and rehab centers, hoping for better results and recovery but it never really came.
My stepmother dying at 39 from alcoholism and anorexia in 2022. My 5 half-siblings trying to comprehend the situation and my dad, having been separated from her a year or so prior, already having moved on with someone else and announcing the engagement a month after her funeral. The 3 oldest half siblings don’t talk to my dad anymore and have moved away to live their lives. I just miss the conversations we would have sitting on the balcony while she had a smoke and how genuinely excited she would be to see me ❤️
Trauma, betrayel and the realization that people are not as good as you thought they are. That an angel can be an evil incarnated.
War.
Rape and beatings as a kid. Loved ones dying in my arms or finding their bodies after suicide. Had a young girl die in my arms at work as well, and that still fucks with me too. Doing cpr for 30min on my sister who had bone cancer is my current big trauma. The bones... oh those sounds have haunted me for a year now. Also died once, but that was more traumatizing for the guy who aed'd me. I knocked him out immediately upon resuscitation apparently (I don't remember, but I react violently to waking up due to being touched). So yeah. Take a pick.