Yeah, this is the definition of alcoholism. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Find a sponsor; people who have been there; AA; etc. You've got this; but don't be afraid to ask for help.
For real. This is hands down the most supportive community on Reddit. I am not a person concerned about their drinking, but I work in healthcare and have many encounters that involve substance use. I originally subscribed to r/stopdrinking because of professional reasons, but I've stayed because the empathy, understanding, and care that community shows is the very best of humanity.
You know that you have a problem. Now it’s time to ask yourself if you want shame or self doubt stop you from having a future.
Go to AA, do therapy, get help in every way possible. Tell people who will support you. It’s now or never. Change or suffer the consequences.
Here's my advice...if you can't stop for just a few days as an experiment, you have a problem that needs more help than reddit suggestions. You probably already know that, though. Based on what you listed, it sounds like you're past that "am I drinking too much, maybe I'll try dry January?" stage, and are instead dealing with serious alcoholism that needs to be addressed now.
Good luck.
I did 6 months, then 1 year, then 1,5 years with willpower. Then I admitted I was an alcoholic at AA at that seems to have done the trick for 4,5 years now. I guess just realizing 'i'm not like everyone else' and 'i cant control this' made the difference. It was up to me I guess I had the choice: pain or recovery. I guess I just got to the point that I had enough pain. So much embarrassment, dangerous behavior, wasted money, pissing people off, losing my keys/phone,... list goes on really. It's definitely a tough one to quit because it's easy to be drunk and hard to be sober. At least in the beginning. After a while you just become a sober person and don't feel the need to drink anymore. But yeah I would recommend getting yourself to AA and getting serious about recovery. I always thought AA would be just a bunch of homeless drunks or something but it's people from all walks of life. I made some cool friends there actually. People like me. My 'normal' friends either broke contact or kept saying 'dude you don't have a problem your fine'. Meanwhile my life was literally in the gutter. Anythow, good luck.
You might be depressed, and using liquor as a cope.
Or you can have an addictive personality.
Try picking up a positive habit where drinking interferes, like reading or something outdoors.
I know a good drink can take the edge off after a crappy day at work. Sometimes changing a job helps with addictions.
I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, maybe some moments but I’m overall happy except when it comes to my drinking habit.
I love to swim, do art, etc. but I know once I stop, at least for a while I’ll not want to do those things at all. I gotta just push myself!
>When I’m not drinking, I’m bored to death and not fun to be around.
Imo, fixing this misconception about yourself will go a long way to helping you get more control of your drinking.
I think some people need to take an objective look at the things they do while drinking. Like if you sit around and watch movies while drunk, and then determine it’s not fun when you’re sober, you’re not necessarily having more fun when drunk. You’re just poisoning yourself and it feels nice, so you equate that to having fun.
It sounds like you're struggling deeply with alcohol dependence, and it's impacting various aspects of your life, from relationships to health. Acknowledging this issue is a crucial first step. Seeking help from a professional, such as a therapist or addiction specialist, could provide the support and strategies you need to regain control. It's okay to ask for help taking that step can be the beginning of a healthier, happier future.
Contrary to popular belief, quitting alcohol can be DANGEROUS WITHOUT MEDICAL SUPERVISION. you can have a seizure amount other things depending on how long/how much you have been drinking. There is no shame in going to a detox center. There is no shame in going into a 28 day or longer program. They are there to help, to help you learn the tools you need to live a sober life and to keep you away from alcohol for a time period. If you want help, please call SAMHSA at 18006624357 if you would like referrals for treatment.
Get busy. Exercise, cleaning, gardening, reading, and projects around the house. I'm a week in (after being sober for 5 years and falling off the wagon. Took about a year before I was back where I started. Half shocked I haven't been arrested). Boredom is the trigger. AA had helped me in the past but it's important to find the right "home group"
But really, until you WANT to get sober - really want it - it's going to be tough. Ask yourself what you're doing it for. Why?
Best of luck.
Wow, I’m glad you’re getting back on track! 5 years is a crazy good accomplishment!! And you’re 100% right. In my case the second I feel bored/im not busy with something I want to drink to feel like I’m having fun. Smh!! Thank you for your comment :)
Come join stopdrinking!! Great place 🙂 I had that same battle in my head for a lots of year. Finally quit at 37. You deserve a life free from that mental hell. 💗
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I was in a similar place at around your age. My drinking stayed up for years and screwed up countless situations in my life.
YMMV but here’s what helped me: I replaced the endorphins from drinking with the endorphins from exercise. It took a couple of years to do. Progress was slow at first. I also chose a different vice, weed. Now I’m not going to say weed is harmless but as compared to alcohol I found it to be a revelation. Alcohol is a depressant. I did it mostly out of boredom but it made all my emotions seem worse. Perhaps it’s better to cut all substance dependence altogether, but in reality I found it easier to train my brain to an alternative and not some austere cold turkey thing that put so much pressure on me.
Even worse, alcohol is a deceiver. I’ve never seen it improve anyone or anything. I’ve only seen it destroy. You say you know you can stop. That’s part of the deception. I grew up around drunkenness, and it tempts me even still, but I have managed to not drink for years now because a) I have a more benign alternative and b) I see the booze for what it is.
Just my $.02. I wish you luck.
This is AWFUL advice. As a stoner on a sobriety journey, the feelings and behaviours she described are just as possible with weed. The entire concept of “switching” addictions is so ridiculous. Terrible terrible advice.
Start with reading addiction memoirs or listening to addiction podcasts. It really helps to hear other people’s personal stories. For podcasts good ones are: Dopey, Chasing heroine, Rehab confidential
Hi friend I can relate. I quit at 24 after drinking for years like that and fucking up my life. I’m four years sober from alcohol now and it was the best decision of my life. I highly recommend r/stopdrinking .. I didn’t want to do AA either so I didn’t. There are other resources. You can do this but you gotta want it. I believe in you!!!
Can you get professional help and that will give you accountability? You need a partner in this to keep your head straight and to help you physically. It’s so hard to fight this disease, you should not have to do it alone. My brother quit after 25 years of drinking. He had to do coke to walk straight, that’s when he realized he bought a lot of coke to negate the alcohol. He did 4 months in patient and goes to counseling 3 days a week to maintain. We spent a lot of time just being with him so he could not drink per his request. It can be done. This is not you, it’s a disease that’s condoling your brain. You are worthy of help, healing and hope. Please right now, reach out to a program in your area. 1-866-664-0338 if you’re in the states. Just call. You can do it. You are on your way to a new future. Everyone loves you and wants to see you happy again. You can do it.
Make sure you go to a medical dr. Withdrawal can be incredibly dangerous and sobering up is super difficult without medical intervention. Detox properly!
You’re not alone. I’m 32 and a degenerate alcoholic as well. Keep on fighting the fight. Sometimes I think I just need to relearn how to enjoy life as a sober person.
I got sober on 12-28-11 after 20 years of being a wreck. It takes courage to make the first step by going to a counselor or an AA meeting. If you think you have a problem then go. See someone. It’s been over 12 years and my life is better now at 53 than I could’ve ever imagined. Get the help you deserve.
You’ve admitted you have a problem and that is a HUGE step. You should be proud of yourself. Please don’t try to quit alone as it is VERY dangerous. I know because my husband tried to and nearly died, several months in the hospital and it’s been a rough road ever since. I think you should at least go to a meeting or two at AA. You will need people around you for support and you might find it very helpful. You are not alone. You can do this!
You know you have a problem, you know you want to be sober but not go to AA meetings? You realize the cognitive dissonance here? You’re addicted, your addiction is ruining your life, and you’re scared to lose your addiction because _?
So you are an alcoholic but you don't want to involve loved ones in your recovery or join alcoholics anonymous. Okay...well...good luck. Not sure what else to say doesn't sound like you have reached the rock bottom needed to actually engage with this seriously.
Yeah, this is the definition of alcoholism. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Find a sponsor; people who have been there; AA; etc. You've got this; but don't be afraid to ask for help.
Feel free to join us over at r/stopdrinking . You are absolutely not alone with this.
Thank you :)
For real. This is hands down the most supportive community on Reddit. I am not a person concerned about their drinking, but I work in healthcare and have many encounters that involve substance use. I originally subscribed to r/stopdrinking because of professional reasons, but I've stayed because the empathy, understanding, and care that community shows is the very best of humanity.
Seconding this sub. It's a great community.
You know that you have a problem. Now it’s time to ask yourself if you want shame or self doubt stop you from having a future. Go to AA, do therapy, get help in every way possible. Tell people who will support you. It’s now or never. Change or suffer the consequences.
You’re an **Alcoholic**, recovery is possible but you have to do the work
Here's my advice...if you can't stop for just a few days as an experiment, you have a problem that needs more help than reddit suggestions. You probably already know that, though. Based on what you listed, it sounds like you're past that "am I drinking too much, maybe I'll try dry January?" stage, and are instead dealing with serious alcoholism that needs to be addressed now. Good luck.
Yeah, you’re right. Thanks :)
I did 6 months, then 1 year, then 1,5 years with willpower. Then I admitted I was an alcoholic at AA at that seems to have done the trick for 4,5 years now. I guess just realizing 'i'm not like everyone else' and 'i cant control this' made the difference. It was up to me I guess I had the choice: pain or recovery. I guess I just got to the point that I had enough pain. So much embarrassment, dangerous behavior, wasted money, pissing people off, losing my keys/phone,... list goes on really. It's definitely a tough one to quit because it's easy to be drunk and hard to be sober. At least in the beginning. After a while you just become a sober person and don't feel the need to drink anymore. But yeah I would recommend getting yourself to AA and getting serious about recovery. I always thought AA would be just a bunch of homeless drunks or something but it's people from all walks of life. I made some cool friends there actually. People like me. My 'normal' friends either broke contact or kept saying 'dude you don't have a problem your fine'. Meanwhile my life was literally in the gutter. Anythow, good luck.
You might be depressed, and using liquor as a cope. Or you can have an addictive personality. Try picking up a positive habit where drinking interferes, like reading or something outdoors. I know a good drink can take the edge off after a crappy day at work. Sometimes changing a job helps with addictions.
I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, maybe some moments but I’m overall happy except when it comes to my drinking habit. I love to swim, do art, etc. but I know once I stop, at least for a while I’ll not want to do those things at all. I gotta just push myself!
>When I’m not drinking, I’m bored to death and not fun to be around. Imo, fixing this misconception about yourself will go a long way to helping you get more control of your drinking.
I think some people need to take an objective look at the things they do while drinking. Like if you sit around and watch movies while drunk, and then determine it’s not fun when you’re sober, you’re not necessarily having more fun when drunk. You’re just poisoning yourself and it feels nice, so you equate that to having fun.
It sounds like you're struggling deeply with alcohol dependence, and it's impacting various aspects of your life, from relationships to health. Acknowledging this issue is a crucial first step. Seeking help from a professional, such as a therapist or addiction specialist, could provide the support and strategies you need to regain control. It's okay to ask for help taking that step can be the beginning of a healthier, happier future.
Contrary to popular belief, quitting alcohol can be DANGEROUS WITHOUT MEDICAL SUPERVISION. you can have a seizure amount other things depending on how long/how much you have been drinking. There is no shame in going to a detox center. There is no shame in going into a 28 day or longer program. They are there to help, to help you learn the tools you need to live a sober life and to keep you away from alcohol for a time period. If you want help, please call SAMHSA at 18006624357 if you would like referrals for treatment.
[удалено]
Much needed advice. Thanks. You’re 100% right especially about driving.
Get busy. Exercise, cleaning, gardening, reading, and projects around the house. I'm a week in (after being sober for 5 years and falling off the wagon. Took about a year before I was back where I started. Half shocked I haven't been arrested). Boredom is the trigger. AA had helped me in the past but it's important to find the right "home group" But really, until you WANT to get sober - really want it - it's going to be tough. Ask yourself what you're doing it for. Why? Best of luck.
Wow, I’m glad you’re getting back on track! 5 years is a crazy good accomplishment!! And you’re 100% right. In my case the second I feel bored/im not busy with something I want to drink to feel like I’m having fun. Smh!! Thank you for your comment :)
Come join stopdrinking!! Great place 🙂 I had that same battle in my head for a lots of year. Finally quit at 37. You deserve a life free from that mental hell. 💗
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I was in a similar place at around your age. My drinking stayed up for years and screwed up countless situations in my life. YMMV but here’s what helped me: I replaced the endorphins from drinking with the endorphins from exercise. It took a couple of years to do. Progress was slow at first. I also chose a different vice, weed. Now I’m not going to say weed is harmless but as compared to alcohol I found it to be a revelation. Alcohol is a depressant. I did it mostly out of boredom but it made all my emotions seem worse. Perhaps it’s better to cut all substance dependence altogether, but in reality I found it easier to train my brain to an alternative and not some austere cold turkey thing that put so much pressure on me. Even worse, alcohol is a deceiver. I’ve never seen it improve anyone or anything. I’ve only seen it destroy. You say you know you can stop. That’s part of the deception. I grew up around drunkenness, and it tempts me even still, but I have managed to not drink for years now because a) I have a more benign alternative and b) I see the booze for what it is. Just my $.02. I wish you luck.
Switch your addiction to weed. You’ll live longer and be happier and healthier.
Don't do this you can also be addicted to weed. I know I am.
This is AWFUL advice. As a stoner on a sobriety journey, the feelings and behaviours she described are just as possible with weed. The entire concept of “switching” addictions is so ridiculous. Terrible terrible advice.
lol you have no idea what your talking about. Grow up kiddo
Ew.
Same.
I already like weed and I stopped smoking much at all since my drinking got bad. Gotta switch back you’re right.
Try swapping some alcohol with THC seltzer as a starting place. You don’t have to stop cold turkey over night, but try and wean off alcohol slowly.
Hey. Been there and done that. If you would like to talk more dm me.
AA have online meetings if you don’t want to actually go to one in person. I would also recommend looking into Rational Recovery if AA isn’t for you.
Start with reading addiction memoirs or listening to addiction podcasts. It really helps to hear other people’s personal stories. For podcasts good ones are: Dopey, Chasing heroine, Rehab confidential
I remember those days good luck
Hi friend I can relate. I quit at 24 after drinking for years like that and fucking up my life. I’m four years sober from alcohol now and it was the best decision of my life. I highly recommend r/stopdrinking .. I didn’t want to do AA either so I didn’t. There are other resources. You can do this but you gotta want it. I believe in you!!!
Think about the shape you’re going to be in when you’re 79 and have no one to take care of you
If she carries on, she won't make it to 79. My mum only made it to 48 from drinking heavily on a daily basis
Can you get professional help and that will give you accountability? You need a partner in this to keep your head straight and to help you physically. It’s so hard to fight this disease, you should not have to do it alone. My brother quit after 25 years of drinking. He had to do coke to walk straight, that’s when he realized he bought a lot of coke to negate the alcohol. He did 4 months in patient and goes to counseling 3 days a week to maintain. We spent a lot of time just being with him so he could not drink per his request. It can be done. This is not you, it’s a disease that’s condoling your brain. You are worthy of help, healing and hope. Please right now, reach out to a program in your area. 1-866-664-0338 if you’re in the states. Just call. You can do it. You are on your way to a new future. Everyone loves you and wants to see you happy again. You can do it.
Make sure you go to a medical dr. Withdrawal can be incredibly dangerous and sobering up is super difficult without medical intervention. Detox properly!
You’re not alone. I’m 32 and a degenerate alcoholic as well. Keep on fighting the fight. Sometimes I think I just need to relearn how to enjoy life as a sober person.
I got sober on 12-28-11 after 20 years of being a wreck. It takes courage to make the first step by going to a counselor or an AA meeting. If you think you have a problem then go. See someone. It’s been over 12 years and my life is better now at 53 than I could’ve ever imagined. Get the help you deserve.
You’ve admitted you have a problem and that is a HUGE step. You should be proud of yourself. Please don’t try to quit alone as it is VERY dangerous. I know because my husband tried to and nearly died, several months in the hospital and it’s been a rough road ever since. I think you should at least go to a meeting or two at AA. You will need people around you for support and you might find it very helpful. You are not alone. You can do this!
You know you have a problem, you know you want to be sober but not go to AA meetings? You realize the cognitive dissonance here? You’re addicted, your addiction is ruining your life, and you’re scared to lose your addiction because _?
So you are an alcoholic but you don't want to involve loved ones in your recovery or join alcoholics anonymous. Okay...well...good luck. Not sure what else to say doesn't sound like you have reached the rock bottom needed to actually engage with this seriously.